From Coco to the Duchess of Alba: The worst celebrity beach bodies

Ivanka should tell her mother it's time for a one piece bathing suit.

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• I didn't realize that the Duchess of Alba was dating Steven Spielberg.

• I think Coco is hot as fuck and don't care what anyone else thinks.

• For the most part, these people have "normal" bodies. And I think the Duchess of Alba is tremendous.

• Coco always leaves skid marks on the sheets

  Housekeeper

• I love Duchess of Alba. She just doesn't give a fuck, does what she wants, and puts it out there bravely. How old is she, 80?

• It's really bad form to pick on people whose bodies are aging. It happens to all of us sooner or later. And what is wrong with Russell Simmons except that he's not buff?

• Duchess of Alba is 900 years old. Why pick on the ol' gal?

• This list is ridiculous. Thread Closed!

• So a guy like Simon Cowell is supposed to cover up because he's hairy? Utter bullshit. What idiot wrote this?

• Eh, most of them have perfectly ordinary bodies for their ages. What do they expect from aging has-beens, head-to-toe plastic surgery? And the Duchess of A looks good for a woman of 80, plus she's brave enough put the funbags out there for the press and public to see. She must be a fearless old bitch.

• Janice Dickenson looks so ridiculous. She has a body like a stick with two huge melons up front.

• My mind immediately goes to Coco Rocha. Disappointed to see this is about Coco Austin. ("Coco T and her sister Chamomile T" - Joel McHale) I think Coco's body is stupendous. I can't imagine not wanting to hit that hard if I were straight.

• Who is that first one? She looks like a sow. I've never seen her so how is she a "star"?

• R13, that's Coco Austin, who is married to Ice-T and who was a mildly famous in her own right as a model. Her claim to fame is the reality show about their marriage.

• Coco is disgusting. That ass is not real!

• I can't believe I'm saying this, but Octomom has an even better body than many women who *haven't* given birth to several litters.

• I'd suck on Simon Cowell's man boobs... no problem. And actually Rod Stewart doesn't look bad at all... he needs to lose a few pounds... but the guy is 67 fucking years old, the body is better than a lot of guys in their 50s.

• If Octopussy has a great body, R16, it's because she's spent her money on plastic surgery and not on feeding her kids.