Old people of Datalounge, what advice do you have for us young guy's?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated and devoured. TIA!
Balance your personal life (friends, family, downtime, etc) with your personal life. No one ever looks back and says "Gee, I wish I had worked harder/spent more time working" ....
R2 is so wrong. I know many senior gays, some near poverty who WISH they had worked more, saved more and had the ability to enjoy their golden years in comfort.
DOY ... with your PROFESSIONAL life .... I really am an eldergay. Sheesh.
Avoid the trends of your peers -- like barebacking is no big deal (and [italic]so[/italic] much more fun.)
And if you are going to get tattoos try to at least make them interesting or artful. Put some thought into it. There is not now, nor will there ever be, a person with a neck tattoo that doesn't look like a complete moron.
always wear condoms
when you see crazy coming at you CROSS THE STREET
R3 has a point; it's important to spend time with family and friends, but you have to take care of yourself.
Don't mature into the kind of asshole who would delight in telling you that your wrongly put an apostrophe in the phrase "for us young guy's".
R4 .... I'm not wrong. I said 'balance' both .... doesn't mean don't be sure you haven't 'saved for a rainy day' or that you should 'blow it as you go'.
I think it's sound advice.
Don't start believing what the religious right says. Live your life on your own terms and in your own way. Don't let others' morality define you.
Don't burn your bridges. Leave your partners/friends if you must, but leave them their dignity. Save for your retirement.
Never trust a fart.
Don't collect, don't accumulate. All those possessions you crave now will become a burden down the road.
Don't get tattoos, they are never interesting or artful.
Stay of my lawn.
Don't expect anyone to give you a Christmas present if you've told them you don't want a gift.
Moisturize, especially your arms and legs. Your skin will become crepey if you don't.
If you start going gray, don't dye it. That will make you look 20 years older.
Get a pedicure at least once a month.
Stock up on Alka Seltzer.
Take care of your teeth.
Work out as much as you want, but not so much that you end up all veiny like Tom Bianchi.
Sweat the small stuff now, because eventually you won't give a shit.
Stay current with world affairs and pop culture. No one will want to hear how much you love/hate Madonna in the nursing home.
You don't want to look back on a life full of missed opportunities.
Accept the fact that you are gay. Don't ever be ashamed of who you are. Being gay gives you the incredible gift of empathy with/for others who cover the spectrum of the marginalized in society. Embrace it. If you are under 18 and you live in a homophobic household, get out as soon as you are of age.
Keep the friends who love you for who you are, and don't lose contact with them. Don't make fun of people.
Work hard to fulfill your dream. Don't worry about chasing bullshit like fame or fortune.
Always use a condom.
Treat everyone as you would want to be treated. Always go into a place as if you owned it, but don't act as if you did.
Read. Become aware of the world, politics and issues of the day beyond your own gay neighborhood.
Go to school. Get a degree in something that interests you but also something that will help benefit you and allow you to live a decent, comfortable life.
Don't ever say, "I don't watch the news." Boring people with very little substance say things like that.
Learn the art of conversation. Don't just spend your life texting without ever truly having a conversation with a variety of people.
Don't think with your dick. Well, once in a while it's okay, but don't make it a habit.
Save your money to buy your onw place be it a small condo or big house. Don't leave yourself vulnerable to landlords your whole life.
Save your money for layoffs of which there may be several in your working life.
Save your money for retirement. It will be here before you know it.
Don't ask for advice on Datalounge.
And one more...
Travel. The world is a big, fascinating and interesting place. Make sure you see a good deal of it.
If you can, try to live below your means - you don't really need all the extra shit.
Don't get caught up with labels or makes of cars - no one really gives a shit at the end of the day and it doesn't make you special.
Save your money.
Put in a little extra effort than everyone else at work - it's almost always noticed and will get you far.
OP, one way to get ahead in life is to write using proper grammar. Bad language usage is a serious hindrance in getting ahead, even though the young think that spell check and grammar check are the answer. For example, your use of the possessive (guy's), when you wanted to use the plural (guys), indicates that you have a long way to go. Good luck.
Beware of The Twink.
If you're going to be a filmmaker, buy a fucking tripod. And use it.
No matter how flawless your skin is now, after 40 growths will begin to sprout...you'll look like you're cultivating potatoes on your face.
Be open to love! Love!
Love with men of all ages!
Travel to Palm Springs!
If an older gentleman tells you you have a career in modeling, believe him!
Develop some level of expertise in a leisure activity that you can play your whole life: tennis, golf, bridge, whatever.
Find a companion before you're 40.
Learn some skill: playing the piano, carpentry, speaking French, whatever.
Don't worry obsessively about what might go wrong: most of the things you worry about will never happen, and the really bad things (e.g., illness) will come out of the blue.
Save money! (I can't get convince a lot of the young people at my job to take advantage of our voluntary 401(K)! It baffles me.)
Get off of the God Damned internet and go live a real life while you're young. Travel, sure, but take a walk, go sit in a bar or cafe, meet people, see things, do things, experience life in 3-D, not through a computer screen.
Plenty of time for sitting on DataLounge when you're old.
I agree with this post. That asshole will be along to accuse you of being ignorant and uneducated. Pity him because he has no other contribution and is a miserable person
If you have the means, adopt an older dog. It does wonders for you and your environment.
Empathize with people and their problems without offering solutions. You're not allowed to fix everything.
Enjoy new tech platforms, but remember that you don't have to be on top of each iteration. I missed out on Blackberry, Friendster, and Myspace - no loss.
Greed costs money. Whenever you can make an unreasonable profit on your investment, there's a con game being played. Make sure you're not the mark.
Date a stranger; jerk off with your other hand every once in a while. A habitual death grip messes up your ability to get off through contact with another guy.
Eat a salad each day. You're ass will thank you.
Live below your means. Having a little cushion in the bank does feel nice, but more important - materialism isn't much fun. If you think your possessions will impress people, think again. There's always someone else with cooler stuff, and investing your ego in your things will leave you constantly feeling second best.
Don't smoke or do drugs.
Advice for the young: Save your money.
A man who wants to support you will expect you to put up with mistreatment in return. Always be reponsible for your own finances.
Enjoy your youthful good looks while you can, but don't live off your looks. See above.
If you're a man, don't pluck your eyebrows.
Use condoms until you've settled down with someone.
Don't be afraid. Seriously, don't live in fear of what people will think! Do what you have to do to get over fear and self-consciousness. Physical challenges aren't important in themselves, but they can be useful in teaching yourself to be brave.
One of these days you are going to wake up and realize that you are old and you will have no fucking idea how the time passed by so quickly.
Parents will be dead and maybe some siblings will be dead too. Aunts and Uncles and those cousins who are your age....all gone.
Little aches and pains will become huge aches and pains. All of a sudden it seems that you either can't pee at all or pee every fucking 20 minutes. Cataracts.
Doctors and specialists will probe and exam every inch of your old body and have you buy very expensive medications. You better have good health insurance to go along with Medicare or have Romney money.
You will not win the lottery and wipe away all worries for the rest of your life.
It isn't pretty.
Don't be a bitter old queen. If someone has a different belief than you, don't automatically shut tem down. Don't be guilty of a double standard claiming empathy for others but ONLY if they agree with you.
R32 is completely out of touch with reality.
Ditto living below your means. Never put more on your credit card than you can pay off at the end of the month. Don't waste your money on all the newest gadgets.
If you are a man pluck out the center if you have a unibrow.
R11 R16 Seconded.
My main advice: save your money and plan for your retirement, but don't overdo it. I was able to retire at 58 and am financially secure, but I don't feel like doing a lot of the things I'd planned on doing after I retired (i.e., that I put off doing when I was younger and poorer.) Make time to do the things you enjoy, like traveling, etc. while you're young enough to enjoy them.
Learn correct English usage especially when writing. "Guy's" is way wrong; you meant "guys". The plural of guy. "Guy's" would mean possessive of one guy.
Don't think that statements like the above are bitchy; they're meant to be helpful.
Have as many hag friends as possible.
Have a couple of straight male friends.
Never become estranged from your parents or siblings no matter how obnoxious they may be. UNLESS they refuse to recognize your life partner or even boyfriend.
Be philanthropic as much as you can; to give IS better than to receive.
Don't stay at one job forever unless it is a field you truly love.
Don't adopt or have with a surrogate, kids. That's for breeders. Gays can have more productive, and equally meaningful, lives.
Stay HIV-negative if possible; if not, don't beat yourself up; you didn't START the disease.
Keep posting on DL!
Get all you can while you can
Start putting whatever you can into a Roth IRA.
Buy property if you can, for yourself and for investment.
Figure out what makes you really happy. Art, theater, literature, nature, movies, whatever. Immerse yourself in your interests, expand your knowledge.
Make lots of friends, keep the ones who enrich your life, drop the ones who don't appreciate you for who you are or who suck out your energy and deplete you.
Laugh deeply and often.
Love yourself, forgive yourself, improve yourself. Let go of grudges, love others.
Pliny the middle child
Never turn down an opportunity to have sex or appear on TV.
A lot is said here about saving money. I'd like to go a step further: Learn how to invest your money wisely.
Teach yourself about stocks, bonds, the market by simply reading the Wall Street Journal (the paper or online). Understand how stocks, deferred taxable income, 401k plans, Roth and tradional IRA plans work AND MAXIMIZE YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS UNDER LAW INTO EACH OF THESE GOVERNMENT PROVIDED INVESTMENT PLANS. You will find your money grows exponentially quickly.
And yes, get a good moisturizer.
Retired at 56 with $900,00 and growing, enjoying life now.
[quote]Never turn down an opportunity to have sex or appear on TV.
These days, we should modify that to "Never turn down an opportunity to have sex ON TV."
Use a good Meroyxl based sunscreen.
I'm 46 and can pass for twenty something in the right light. At least that's what some people tell me.
Retirement investment advise can't be specific for people under 30 -- if the kids have jobs at all. When I was young, it was all about T-bills, then municipal bonds. Mutual funds seemed like the way to go until many realized their fund managers were merrily skimming from the top.
How about pensions? We were always happy to hear we would have pensions until we learned we wouldn't.
The trick is, put something aside. Some people have ended up living off their savings and that has put them back to ground zero, but at least they had some time...
R52, go to Morningstar.com and use their investment devices for free, untainted information about mutual funds, stocks, bond funds, etc.
Yes, there are some mutual funds out there that charge an entry fee (load) to get in on the fund, but there are also hundreds of 5 star no-load funds. And the fees you mention? Yes, some charge as high as 4-5% for the unwary and that is absurd.
Use the tools provided to look for 5 star no-load funds with annual fees below 1.1%. Many fund families fall into this category, but for no-load, low-fee 4 and 5 star mutual funds, Vanguard Family of funds comes to mind first, followed by Fidelity family of funds. Check it out. I'm here to answer questions if someone has questions.
[quote]One of these days you are going to wake up and realize that you are old and you will have no fucking idea how the time passed by so quickly.
Damn, it goes so quick. You're old all of sudden and you'll wonder when/how it happened.
Be sensible, find a good profession, save money, but also make sure you jam as much experience and fun as possible into your youth.
Everything in moderation. Don't drink too much, eat too much, do too many drugs, or go too many days without a good night's rest.
Read. Read. Read. If reading is not a habit, make it one. There is a whole world of knowledge in books that will never be available in sufficient depth and breadth on the internet and in order to survive well, you need to be educated, whether you are an autodidact or someone with many degrees. Never stop learning. Be fascinated with your world, how it works, who runs it and what their jobs are. Every good CEO needs to know how every job in their company works, from top to bottom, and you are the CEO of your life. Be a sponge that never stops soaking in information and knowledge. You should always have at least one work of fiction and several works of non-fiction going at once and read at least a poem a day.
Listen to music daily and learn at least one instrument.
Do most tasks of running your daily life yourself. The more you outsource, the less control you have. Cleaning is good exercise. Lawn work is good exercise. If you are living your life actively and walking everywhere and taking the stairs as much as possible, parking your car as far away from the store as possible, you shouldn't need a gym membership. Live someplace where you can enjoy the outdoors as much as possible and get as much fresh air and sunlight as you can everyday regardless of the weather. Dress accordingly and you can be out everyday even if it is below zero.
Travel as much as you can. Buy local art and decorate your home with things you bring back from your trips. Invest in folk art, art need not be expensive to be valuable. Many of the world's hidden gems can be had for a song. Learn as many foreign languages as you can and talk to as many people from as many different countries as you can. If you can't travel, at least you can learn about the world through people.
When you don't know what to say in a conversation, ask people about themselves. Everyone likes to talk about themselves.
There is a shit load of seriosly good advice here, and this is surprising since this site is shit-loaded to the gills with prisspots spouting hatred and pseudo-intellectualism.
Most of these men, elder gay men, seemed to have taken their time out to think through good answers for you. I cannot dispute any of their wisdom. And invest for a rainy day, invest wisely. Don't be afraid of love and committment.
Don't get the AIDS.
Thank you. Seriously, thanks to everyone who has and who will contribute to this thread. I have a pdf of it saved to my computer and plan to reference it periodically.
Go get the paddle, you're gettin' a spankin'.
Young guy's what? Here's a piece of advice, learn the difference between guys and guy's--an apostrophe isn't some sort of word decoration to be used when you feel like it. Also, don't uptalk and by that ? I mean don't ? make every sentence ? sound like a question ? is timidly ? being asked?
Trust in oneself; trust that natural law supercedes the will and tenacity of narcissistic forces; trusting that narcissistic forces at their core do not come from strength, but from desperation; trust in one's skills to empower others by helping them to break down fears into manageable segments
"Human beings can be summed up like this. Their perverse and destructive quest for absolute power, shiny objects and colored paper is rivaled only by their all-consuming desire to rub fleshy bits of themselves together. They pour each other’s blood into the streets due to this man’s opinion or that woman’s betrayal, all responding to the siren-song of man made deities who don’t even come close to representing who and what is really running the show. Yet, the way they waste their lives is tragically admirable to me because they all truly believe they are justified in what they do since they don’t know any better and are too frightened to learn any other way. Once the circle is momentarily broken and they are assigned to me, they look back and realize it all could have been so much easier. Suddenly, they give me that pleading stare, as if I would let them go back, even if I could." – Death
Fourscore ? and seven years ago ? our forefathers ? brought forth ? on this continent ? ........
Talk like a man, not some insecure little twatty girl.
Love as much as you can. If it's one person or many, it doesn't matter. Just keep firing.
They want you to keep buying stuff. You don't need most of it.
Be grateful. If you can't feel it about your work, or your loved ones, or your face, focus on the things you can feel grateful about. List them, then grow the list a little each day.
Don't be a know it all - then you won't learn anything.
True listening is an act of intimacy.
Do your kegels.
[quote]Old people of Datalounge, what advice do you have for us young guy's?
Learn some basic spelling.
spankin' gettin' from the same dizzy cunt that wants to tell you how not to decorate your words.
Oh dear and go figure. Whaaaaaaaaaaaz?
Don't put your face and your dick in the same picture.
Live below your means, but don't get so focused on retirement that you forget to live.
When you smell crazy on people trust your instincts.
Try and find work you love.
If you are kind and curious you are likely to have a happy life.
The Hershey Highway is the road to a lifetime of misery unless you:
1) Are under 30 and drop-dead-gorgeous
2) Have 10 inches or more
3) Have $10 million or more
4) Are on drugs
When I was young the elder gays
Told me to put some more oil on the burner
They told me to put some more oil on the burner
They told me to put some more oil on the burner
But that didn't do no good.
I have to agree with the pro-moisturizer posts. I'm another 46 year old who looks 30-ish because of it. (Even with the thinning hair!) Since my early 20's, I've applied moisturizer to my face and neck right after shaving. It takes a few seconds of your time, and years later you'll be glad you did. And drink lots of water, even when you're not thirsty.
Wise words, Mr Death at R62. I'd appreciate knowing the source of your quotation.
Guys what does it mean 'the police was way over budget again'?
Don't be humorous please, i need a translation.
Thanks...don't get nasty.
Ignore the girlyfags. If you're a man, NEVER moisturise. And never ever exfoliate either. You want to ensure your skin is as thick as possible as you age. A thin soft skin on older men just looks fem. Rough tough masculine faces look sexy. Esp after 30. Do you want a thin moisturised shiny face at 50. Fuck no! So leave it alone. Just wash it in water.
Learn how to spell.
The moisture queens don't look 30 they look shiny and damp.
Don't put apostrophes where they don't belong.
Get as much sex as you can while you're young and pretty. Safely, of course.
Disregard that advice if you're lucky enough to find someone you think you could happily spend a lifetime with. Then, concentrate on making your lives together wonderful.
Young people right now are constantly hearing that there's no future for them, that education is a waste of time, that they'll never have what their parents had, and that's BULLSHIT. We were told the exact same things when we were coming up. You can and will find a place for yourself in this world, a number of places actually. Just be aware of what you like to do and what you're good at and interested in doing, and be on the lookout for opportunities to do these things in the real world.
It's fashionable right now to treat college as a very expensive job training program, but that's not really what it's for. What a good higher education really does is to train your mind in a way that teaches you how to teach yourself. Going to college in your late teens and early twenties, because at that time in your life you have just the right balance between newfound maturity and the childlike ability to absorb huge amounts of information really fast. Avoid running up outrageous debt if you can possibly avoid it by getting scholarships and grants and work studies and so on. Don't be afraid to transfer to another school or drop out for a while if the program you're in doesn't seem to be a good fit. Very few people know exactly what they want to do (and should be doing) for the rest of their lives when they're eighteen!
This one I got from my man John Waters: the less you ask your parents for money, the more accepting they'll be of your life choices.
Get an education. Someone once said theres's nothing so tragic as an uneducated homosexual.
Move to a big city by the time you're 30, where you can have a decent life even if you're on your own and not be at the mercy of the straighties.
Take care of yourself. Avoid the pitfall of substance abuse.
You old guys who you act as if you know it all.
What is a bail bond? How do you get it?
You go to an office and you ask for a bail bond without paying anything?
Pay in cash. Don't accrue unnecessary debt. Don't assume a lifestyle that you can't afford.
Don't tan - real or fake. The sun will age you prematurely and the fake stuff just makes you look orange.
Don't listen to the assholes who say Baby Boomers are selfish. We worked our asses off and watched our pensions get stolen and now hear the GOP sniping that we dont deserve social security.
If you let the GOP do this to us, they'll do 10x worse to you.
Limit your financial relationships. Save, invest, whatever, but keep it simple. Home ownership requires a mortgage -- it will be very hard, but try to keep that simple as well.
Some great advice has been given.
R94 when you are saying 'you worked your ass off'
i suppose you mean you get fucked a lot.
Try not to take too many hot dicks from fine men up your ass. Especially those juicy large ones.
Don't let your butthole become a cum dump.
Avoid the 2 dicks in (your) one hole scenario- its a real permanent ass stretcher. Likewise no fisting.
Sperm facials can add years to your life or remove them. Its all in the application of the cream and how often.
When you're dead, nobody will remember you for your maple cabinets and granite countertops. Or your marble bathrooms with Jack and Jill sinks and vintage plumbing accessories.
I need more tenderness from men.
Thank you guys. be more tender with your advices.
Dont knit, watch tv, read a magazine, doze off or even yawn whilst your long time partner is banging your ass. It will eventually not work out. Trust me.
Listen. Read. Do well in school. Travel. Try and help others when you can. Listen.
Home ownership does not 'require' a mortgage. If you buy a home for 100,000 you will pay the bank 300,000 for that home before all is said and done.
Live frugally and save for a starter home.
Don't ever, ever ask "is it in yet?"
Advice for young guys?
Quit calling us "old people" you little son of a bitch!
You should have your goddamn unwrinkled face bitch slapped and your ass drop kicked over cars in the Wal-Mart parking lot for your rude behavior toward us "elder gays"!
Get down on your knees you young mother-fucking twit and prepare yourself to learn your destiny in life!
Quit calling us old guys..you're all going to be there one day so respect us.
Yes, if they are lucky they will get old.
Now that I am "old" in your young minds, let me say that after navigating a landmine field of dicks over several decades with my ass and mouth and never getting one disease but finding love quite frequently....."follow that bitches!"
just before I saw the draft ov $9646, I be certain that my friend woz truley bringing in money part time from their laptop.. there moms best frend haz done this for only twenty one months and resantly paid the morgage on their home and purchased a great new Citro?n DS. this is where I went, FAB33.COM
Choose quality over quantity.
You've arrived at a time when gay rights are the law of the land, or about to be. It is a most auspicious time to be gay in the world, excepting certain areas, and you can expect to proceed through life unfettered by the aspects of your sexuality that used to freak people out. Me? I never felt "fettered" by anyone or anything, and have always lived as I am. I think the legitimacy of gay marriage, with all the rights (and disasters) marriage entails, has set us on a course where true equality is finally upon us.
Another thing, don't sleep with (all) your friends. You'll find you'll have more of them when you get older.
Get the fuck off this site before you are contaminated beyond the ability to heal.
As others have said, don't fall into debt as it will really limit your choices later if you decide on a career change, suffer a layoff, etc.
Establish a budget and only have a budgeted amount of cash in your wallet when you leave the house and be conscious about how much remains in your wallet after making a purchase.
Stay away from fluoroquinolone antibiotics unless you're willing to accept the very real possibility of spending the rest of your life in a wheelchair.
Don't be silly, don't follow trends, develop marketable skills and fulfill your obligations to others, employers, friends, family (if not abusive). In other words, the same advice I would give anyone else.
Don't turn into r106.
Use condoms, practice safe sex.
[quote]Use condoms until you've settled down with someone.
Then, at least you'll know who gave you AIDS!
Never be intentionally hurtful to anyone.
Young man learn how to spell. It's not guy's it's: guys. Start using spell check when you post OR just learn how to spell,princess.
So gay men can be repulsive. Whoa...
Kill yourself NOW.
'Cause you'll never be able to measure up to us.
[quote]Old people of Datalounge, what advice do you have for us young guy's?
Try to view people as people--judge them by the content of their character--and don't categorize them so quickly based on external things like age, race, gender, sexual orientation, status, class, etc.
[quote]Quit calling us old guys..you're all going to be there one day so respect us.
I love how eldergays around here think they can just demand respect because they are older than dirt.
That's right r66 (almost seems like Route 66, remember that one?) and here's some more: learn the difference between to, too and two; your and you're, there and their, hear and here. Way back in the day when I was in school most of us learned this by the 4th grade, so, just like the TV show, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? And in the words of Erma Bombeck, learn the difference between fame and success, fame is Madonna, success is Mother Theresa. Also, don't show up pregnant to any of your class reunions or they will think that is all you've been doing since you graduated (and dare I say in some cases even before?). Yes, I know it's a gay site!!
Dizzy Cunt and proud of it!
A lot of you speak as you never had fallen really in love. Such sarcasm...
Most old people can't separate their personal experience from what would work now, so take what they say with a grain of salt. Conditions you face are something none of them ever faced.
That youth is generally wasted on the young.
Please stop wearing those dumb-looking fedoras and filthy stocking caps - especially in the summer.
When you get into a new relationship, be careful that you don't get too involved in the happy clouds or paranoid clouds in your head.
Be IN the relationship that you are in, not the one in your head.
Oh poor Lucifer.
You feel trapped?
I give you a hug and i pinch your cheeks poor sugar fiend.
conquer resume-building skills;
invest 15% of your salary;
buy a home as fast as you can;
never buy a new car;
be nice to your boyfriend
conquer the skill of asking for raises
Most of these replies are superficiIal bullshit. i thought the OP was looking for real advice. Then I realized: most American gays live two-dimensional paper-thin lives, driven by prepubescent mentalities. . .. Sorry, OP. I can't help you. No one here can. .. good luck! Take life as it comes at you.
Never have sex in the dark with someone you don't trust 100%.
Do what you enjoy, not what other people think you should enjoy. If you don't feel like reading the news, don't.
There is nothing worse than someone who thinks their tastes in art are superior to someone else's tastes. Being a fan of Barbra Streisand or opera doesn't make one superior to someone who enjoys Gaga or Britney.
hey OP -
there is some great advice here - a lot of it solid commonsense!
as for me - as i sit here at age fifty (how the fuck did that happen?) the one bit of wisdom i think worth passing on is this:
there's no point trying to have a rational argument with someone who is inherently irrational.
ther's no use in trying - and the minute you engage - you've lost.
seriously, if i'd known this when i was young it would have saved me a lot of time, energy - and heartache...
R139, did you send that response via telegraph?
[quote]buy a home as fast as you can
Either you're a realtor, or you've forgotten what the past decade has been like for the housing market.
Surprising how little of these posts has to do with love or relationships. My advice:
Find someone you love and stick with them. If you really care for the person, don't let selfish, stupid things break you up. Having someone love you unconditionally is one of the best things in life. For some reason, it's a lot easier to find that when you're young. If you have it, hold onto it.
Find love before you're 30. After that, all that's available are the leftovers. They're mostly gross and have social deficits or they're obese or some other awful thing that caused them to reach 30+ alone.
Hear! Hear! R
As usual the majority of respondents carry on about money. Of course one needs to survive but living like a miser does not bring happiness unless that is all you aspire to. Shrouds don't have pockets.
Love is priceless and attaining that will carry one through life.
My additional advice is that life is not on a timetable and to dream big.
[R144] meaning [R142]
Re: Home ownership --
It's a personal choice. I worked with a guy who so loved owning his own house that he nearly came when he proclaimed that he'd be installing new rain gutters the following weekend.
I suspected he always did come whenever he announced he spent his Sunday morning mowing his grass.
Other people hate that shit. if you are one of those, be ready to hire others to do it (and complicate your life by increasing financial relationships) or owe up to it and live happily ever after in an apartment.
Maybe a condo or town house, but only if you are an enemy of mine.
Don't take advice from bitter old homos.
Lern how two spel7.
You OWN your home only if there are no encumberances (mortgages/liens) against it.
Otherwise you do NOT own the home - the bank owns it.
R143 you are repulsive. I wish people like you could zip their silly mouth
Bullshit, R143. It is true that a lot of the good ones get scooped up early. But we all know that many (most??) long term relationships don't last forever, so the "good ones" come back on the market too. It's not just the rejects. Usually at around age 40, things open up again and people who were in LTR's are out shopping again for bf #2.
I do agree that there is a decade or so in the late 20's into your 30's when it feels like everyone else is coupled.
Guys i don't like to see the word 'rejects' in this thread. You must be more sensitive when you use your mouth or your writing skills...
I want you to make people who read this thread comfortable and cozy. You are wicked when you speak like that. No reason for that emotional ugliness.
Remember that other people do not exist just to make you feel better.
R153 and you must remember that other people do not exist just to make you feel bad.
The coin has too sides, you choose to see the cruel one, the sarcastic one. Sad.
If you take everything personally, you won't be able to handle a true crisis effectively.
If you live your life assuming that it's never personal, you will only be wrong once in a blue room.
lol...I mean once in a blue moon.
It's not about you. It never is. You are not the smartest, most important or interesting person in the room if you think and act like you are. Shut up, watch the room, and be charming when someone talks to you. Humility is the most powerful virtue.
Be grateful you're alive after the cocktail. Living through AIDS really sucked.
Take your time with love. It always seems like the next one is "the one", but if you push too hard too fast, you'll scare the shit out of him. And be gracious when you say no or break up. That karma is really strong.
It's true that you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Leave NYC a while before you get too cunty. You can always go back. Don't assume all middle Americans or Southerners are rubes and bigots - many are smart and charming. In fact, keep an open mind about everyone until proven otherwise. It keeps you looking happier.
Travel. It broadens the mind. But have a place you will always call home, especially if the family home you came from isn't so good or reliable.
Remember to be worth more alive than dead.
Don't get old!
'If you live your life assuming that it's never personal, you will only be wrong once in a blue moon.'
Mostly agree. But, it's fine to be wary on occasion. After all, you have more experence at age 50 than age 20.
"Oh my God. I'm back. I'm home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it ... You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"
We are switching to the new platform for The DataLounge this weekend. All of our mobile users have been using it for over a week and all first time users have been using it for about a month - which adds up to well over one million users. So we're ready to end this phase of the testing and move everybody to the new site. (more)
And yes, we've changed the look and some of how it operates.
Yes, we know you just *hate* it in well in advance.
Yes, we know we suck.
Yes, we are the biggest suckers that ever sucked.
But it was time for a change and with the huge shift to mobile it was long overdue. We've taken this opportunity not only to update the look but also make major changes under the hood (or "bonnet" if you're either British or pretentious or both). And we have to prepare for 2016 - a presidential election year where we can normally expect to see a 60% jump in traffic (yes, we've seen 5 presidential elections so far…Christ we're old).
The site has a bunch - nay, plethora - of new features which will make the site more usable: better search, the ability to ignore posters and threads, see link previews, to pick up a thread where you left off, spam and malware filtering and more.
If you want you can go explore and see for yourself, Click here.
And while running the tests we've noticed two interesting reactions to the new system - people are spending more time on the site and more people that come stay around longer and look at more stuff. Both good things. Yay!
Possibly we've not slain all the dragons and there will be issues that come up during the switchover. There's a help button in the lower right hand corner of the page which you can use to send us bug reports.
Please include as much information about the hardware (PC, Mac, Tablet, Phone etc), operating system (Windows, Mac OS, Android, iOS etc) and browser (Chrome, Safari, Opera, Internet Explorer etc) that you are using as possible to help us replicate and fix the problem.
Please note that complaints about colors, fonts, icons and the like are not "bugs" - they are design choices that we've made and we expect one or two cases of world-class bitching. But they won't actually cause headaches, scurvy, heart attacks, Restless Leg Syndrome, Morgellon's Disease or the vapors (but have your smelling salts at hand just in case).
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