Every family has one mentally ill relative. Tell us about yours.
That is what some people are saying on the Sunday AM Talk shows.
Talk about your relative that is suffering from mental illness. I'm not talking about someone who is wacky or eccentric. But someone suffering from some sort of mental illness.
How do you deal with them during the holidays, especially if their behavior is rude or immature?
A Datalounge favorite: a thread in which everyone gets to talk about themselves.
That would me be, OP. My family has learned to live with it.
Mine shot himself on the night before his wedding. He was probably gay. This was in 1976.
Youtube has changed the share settings so this may not work:
My mom's older sister is a paranoid schizophrenic.
My older brother has now brought that family history onto himself.
How? He's 50 and since he was 16, he has smoked a boatload of weed. The link between chronic pot use and a family history of paranoid schizophrenia is no joke!
He just kept getting more violent and paranoid. Threatened to knock my teeth down my throat more than once. Knocked my mother's front door down and she had to call the police. Thinks everyone is out to cheat him, EVERYONE is talking shit about him. Threatens to sue us at a drop of a hat. His friend of 30 yrs had to slap him with a restraining order.
Thank God he is now in North Dakota, either trucking or working in the oil fields. If he gets out of line, those big boys up there will just knock the shit out of him, and I DON'T CARE!!
Been free of him for a little over 2 yrs.
Grandma was agoraphobic, and I only saw her out of the house once (at her husband's funeral). She missed the weddings of her four children and rarely saw her grandchildren. I did not see her in the last 16 years of her life.
She was also a mean, nasty woman. On many occasions she would tell me that is was unfortunate that my father married my mother since Mom was unattractive. Grandma also told me that I ugly because of my father's poor choice and would likely never marry a pretty girl. She also told my dad that he was stupid, and would be unsuccessful in life since he was not a scientist (he was a university professor).
Late in life she was diagnosed with paranoia and schizophrenia. I always knew she was a crazy bitch.
Grandma was prescient about one thing. I never married a pretty girl. Instead, I married a Marine.
My aunt was bipolar. Shot herself three years ago after she found evidence of what she thought was my uncle's affair (they'd been married 40 plus years). Although she'd seen therapists and been on medications over the years, as she got older, it got worse and she refused to continue treatment of any kind. PS--my uncle was a gun nut and she used one of his guns. Did that make him get rid of his guns? Nope. But he did after Aurora.
Everyone on the Irish side of my mother's branch of the family tree, including myself. But on the bright side, family reunions were always fun!
Bengali in Platforms
My aunt was paranoid-schizophrenic...she worked all her life, got pensions from two separate careers, all while getting messages from light bulbs and other things I can't even begin to express to you.
Being mental ill does not mean that you have to do bad things or end up on the street.
She died at 90, a difficult person, a difficult life...but admirable in many ways.
My grandmother found her father's body after his suicide when she was around six. The matter was COMPLETELY hushed up. Although it's common knowledge today, my dad even mentioned he died of a "heart attack" not long ago, the official family line, to which I replied, "The bullet made it stop working!" Anyway, my grandmother was finally hospitalized in the early 60's for a few years, more-or-less recovered for a generation or so, but by the time she died in a nursing home in '98, she has regressed to being out of touch with reality (again).
My uncle's wife was badly abused by her own father, and then again by her stepfather, and then sent to a home run by nuns to get her away from them; the nuns beat her. She and my uncle eloped, having four kids in eight years. The last kid was born in a mental hospital, and her mother wasn't released for a couple years after that. Like my grandmother, my aunt was functioning (sort of) for years, but eventually she drove my uncle away, and died a paranoid schizophrenic.
My Jewish grandmother chased her last home health aide into the street with a knife. All her kids were afraid of her. When it was time to take the car keys away, no one would do it. So they left her car up in the country over the winter, left the water in the radiator, and cracked the block.
When she had to be put in a home, it fell to my Dad, the shrink, to do it. She told him if you put me in there, I'll die. Which she did. Three days later.
Not in my family, never been a one.
[quote]Grandma was prescient about one thing. I never married a pretty girl. Instead, I married a Marine.
r12, it's probably you.
They just don't try hard enough to adapt. They play the 'I'm special' card for all it's worth. I have very little empathy for the 'special' because they have been coddled, spoiled and medicated into their own morphed egocentric delirium.
Speak for yourself OP. Where did you get your info? On Manhunt?
If substance abuse counts this is gonna be a long list.
My partner's sister is a deeply unhappy, angry woman who has never been able to finish school, hold a job, go on a date, or finish any project she starts. She is lucky that the family has enough money to keep her in an untidy apartment close by the family home. Holidays feature her tantrums and accusations. My partner overcompensates by being constantly charming and agreeable -- the "nice one." A quietly sad situation that never seems to change, grinding on and leaving everyone sad and worn out.
Being mentally ill does not mean the sufferer is rude or immature. My younger brother is bipolar. He was admitted to a Mental Health Unit 11 times in five years before he was diagnosed. When manic he would spend a fortune buying tons of food that was due to go out of date, loads of music CDs that he already had, and flowers....at least ten bouquets at a time. Nowadays he is nicely medicated and functions well enough to work as a taxi driver. He was married but is now divorced. He got custody of the two children.....he is the more mature and sensible parent. I’ve always said that he is the most ‘normal’ member of our family......I wouldn’t swap him for the world. The five years were Hellish on times but that is all in the past.
That would be me!
Bipolar, alcoholic, sex addict, stoner. Did I forget drama queen.
I've lost friends and jobs because of my crazy mood swings and manic behavior.
Just started on mood stabilizers and anti- depressants we'll see what happens.
Best of luck to you R20 and I am pulling for you all the way.
The fact that you make an effort and acknowledge your illness insures that you will have a successful life.
Sweetie, it's never to late to start over!
Let's see. I have an aunt who is schizophrenic. It began in her mid 20s. She's over 70 now, and has had pills and shock treatments up the wazoo. She is a very nice person but I don't remember her ever being sane.
Her brother was also mentally ill. Suddenly retreated from everyone, walked out his door and disappeared. 6 months later he was found dead after being hit by a train 2500 miles from home. No i.d. so his description was used to locate him. He was very paranoid, believing many government conspiracies against him.
My sister is well now but I expected her to crack in her 30s while watching her become unable to handle any emotional burden that came up. She's actually much stronger now, and although she can be difficult on a rare occasion and flatly refused medication, I think her 10 yrs of therapy kept her on a saner path. We even joke about it now but I have to give her props for making the right choices.
There's probably depression in other family members so I do see where genetics are a marker. On the plus side, although I'm surrounded by fruitcakes most of them are also very attractive so that can make people turn a blind eye a lot. :)
I can get someone from my family to post about me if you would like, OP.
My partner's father believes in aliens. He actually told his other son, my partner's brother, that aliens visited him as a kid -- subsequently freaking the brother out for years. He takes horrible care of himself and lives alone after divorcing my partner's mother on the advice of a "spiritual advisor" whom he dialed via 1-900 #. Yeaaaaaah.
My sister was mentally ill from all the drugs she pushed into her body. Oh gosh it did not matter if it was a holiday or not she would lash out on anyone and everyone including my parents. So many holidays,weddings,family gatherings were ruined because of her. jealousy was the worse part of her behavior to say the least. The drugs eventually took her life a little better then 2 years ago. I think she was pissed off at the world because her biological father never wanted her and she hated everyone who had a father. She even did not like my dad. She was mean to him and he raised from a teen on. She never got along with her neighbors too. I have never was able to have that sibling relationship with her like I had wanted to have.
every person on this planet has a mental illness of one sort or another.if they did not,that would mean they are perfect,and nobody is perfect,believe me.it all depends on the type and severity.
Myself, my brother, my sister, and my Dad. Bipolar, depression, bipolorish, bipolarish. Everyone medicated but Dad.
E26 nails it. Everyone has some mental illness in them. Some just have it more extreme, or some are able to hide it better, or some able to live with it.
R26's posting style and atrocious punctuation makes it clear they know whereof they speak.
I have a father that is a dick keeping with tradition I have a brother that also a dick and he raised dickless children why do they exist.
I has married to this woman with multiple personalities. One was a tramp, another was a dyke, one was a little girl, and still another was an anti social teenage boy. One of her alters, the boy, smothered her father with a pillow and tried to pin it on her step mother. Her daughter by her first husband had an alter an did one of our daughters. I recently remarried her. What was I thinking?
I think my father has borderline personality disorder or something. He seems pretty close to narcissistic, but not as cold or vicious about it as most of the case studies I've heard. He was extremely verbally abusive and just doesn't care about anyone else. He hated his job, and thought he wanted to be an artist, so with my mother's approval he quit working in his early 40s, thereby plunging the rest of us into poverty and forcing my mother to work several jobs to keep a roof over our heads. He never went back to work, and my mother, the nice doormat, let him do nothing all these years. He never finished anything he started art-wise, and now just watches a lot of TV. He blames his problems on his mother and takes responsibility for nothing.
He also has some kind of clinical paranoia that was never diagnosed. My mother told me recently that he wouldn't do yard work in the front yard, because he was afraid that someone would shoot him. So he made me do it. I guess it was okay if I took a bullet, eh?
He takes antidepressants so his rage issues have subsided somewhat, but he's still a dick, and I'll be glad when he croaks.
Partner's brother is schizophrenic since teenaged years. Lives at home with close-to-90 year old parents. He could have moved into a wonderful residence run by a rabbi/social worker just around the block from them 30 yers ago, but parents wouldn't let him because the residence didn't allow smoking. The mother said it was because smoking is his only pleasure, but it was because she is a control freak who likes to be a martyr.
One of my cousins is an alcoholic cross dresser. Another is a jailed hebophile (not for diddling, but for having photos and videos). My maternal grandmother was a loudmouthed, cursing, heaving collection of miserable atoms.
That's about it. No murders or suicides..... yet.
One of my partner's sisters is both bipolar and paranoid schizophrenic. These days she stays on her meds and is as sane as she's capable of being, but she was committed to the state hospital twice in the last decade because she wouldn't take her meds -- she was fine and everybody else was crazy.
During those days it wasn't unusual to find her running around in her front yard naked, ranting and raving to nobody in particular. One time she thought she was a vampire and crouched in her bushes, growling and hissing. Another time the other sister went to her house to check on her, only to be chased out by Crazy Pants brandishing a knife.
Plus, she used to think my partner constantly broke into her house to steal all her socks and put formaldehyde in her Oil of Olay so her face would peel off.
When my partner and I were dating, I was very self-conscious about introducing him to my mother, who's also mentally ill (though nothing like this). When I decided to open up about it, he said, "You think [italic]that's[/italic] bad? Have I got some stories for you!"
The really sad part is that she didn't get sick until she was in her 30s. Before that, my partner says she was the sweetest, most-fun-to-be-around of his siblings.
Father: Believes aliens abducted him as a child and implanted a chip in his head. Tried to kill himself several times while I was growing up. Tried to kill my mom a few times. Was admitted to a mental health facility after one suicide attempt where he met my Step Mom. She's a paranoid schizophrenic who, if not medicated, will see tiny airplanes flying around the room or tiny gnome like men coming through heating vents. My father is so depressed constantly and yet he's tried as many anti-depressants as he can and none seem to work. Constantly talks about when he was married to my mom and how she screwed him over. We call him Doom and Gloom. Has no social boundaries. Will talk about his sex life to strangers. I avoid him at the holidays. Once asked me if my girlfriend would be interested in a threesome with him and my step mom. I'm a lesbian.
Mom: Ultra religious fanatic, gun owner, fox news watching, Obama hating nutcase. Extremely racist against Mexicans despite the fact that my brother married a Mexican woman and they have two kids who are half Mexican. She loved George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, etc. Won't get a housekeeper despite her failing health because she believes the housekeeper will steal from her. Frankly, she's become more paranoid and racist as she's gotten older and I'm starting to believe she deserves all the health issues she says she has.
Step Father: Raging alcoholic who has had two major heart attacks. Made my life miserable growing up as he would sit me down and give me lecture after lecture about what a horrible daughter I was when I was a teenager. My mother recently told me what a great kid I was when I was young. Really? Then why did you treat me like I was so horrible. Mom stood by and let him kick all her kids out of the house one by one.
I try to limit my time with them as much as possible.
[quote]a "spiritual advisor" whom he dialed via 1-900 #. Yeaaaaaah.
Listen, I know my stuff? Who are? Than Dwayne Milan chattin' shit about me?
My great Aunt Rivkah thought she was Scarlett Ohara. Once we found her on Public Square inviting strangers to Tara for mint julep and kreplach.
Oh.... there's my mother. Religious maniac. Believes her saying the rosary kept her brother alive after an illness. I asked why her rosary didn't keep my father or her other brothers alive and she said because they had a terminal disease(??? Obviously).
Gave money to the church when we didn't have enough to eat. Gave thousands to the church but said there was no money for college for me. Wasted thousands of dollars sending me to a catholic high school an hour and a half away from home by public bus. I never saw my cousins I grew up with again (even though they lived in my town during my 4 years of high school). The day after graduation, I never saw anyone I went to high school with again. Never saw kids I went to grammar school with after I was sent off to a school that was a three hour round trip away.
My mother talks about how wonderful it is that she is blessed with friends she has known since kindergarten. Sure wish I knew what it is like to be so blessed. Would've been nice to maintain friendships without being pulled out public school, into Catholic school, into public school and back to a catholic school where I knew nobody and couldn't hang out with friends.
Neve told me I was diagnosed with scoliosis by the school nurse. I would've needed to be in a cast for months and nobody in the family wanted to deal with that. So I now spend every day in pain. Used to tell her, "My foot turns in."
"Well, turn it out then!"
"Ma, one of my shoulders is way higher than the other one and the kids are making fun of me."
"So? Lift the other shoulder up. Are you stupid?"
If you start to talk about anything, she had it 10 times worse than you do and she will start to cry recounting how awful it was.
^ Is that the same Milan who Swiffered the floor with her taint?
R33: what is a "Hebophile"? One who takes pictures of Jews for erotic thrills?
Then go to Bloomies White Sale
My ex. Suffers from ADHD and Bipolar disorder his whole life. Finally got him on meds about three years ago. He's much better now. He used to make up stories and tell them to complete strangers. I'd watch people try to escape from him at parties I'd bring him to. My host would say, "I understand why you love him...how long will you be staying again?" Still, he is the most lovable, generous, person and always has been. He's good in the heart. A gay Forrest Gump. He was used a lot by people when he was younger because he had the looks of a Roman God. He lived with an escort and tried it himself a couple of times but decided he wanted to try for love. That's me.
My dad believes he's the focal point of a vast conspiracy which is being orchestrated by all his ex-wives, ex-fiancees, ex-girlfriends, neighbors, former coworkers, anyone even vaguely related to his profession, all medical workers and everyone with an out of state license plate. He follows people for miles in his car and tries to run people over crossing the street because he believes they appear on a schedule they've organized together to inconvenience him. He believes they control his oven with a remote control, change the spelling in his emails and listen in on his phone calls. His apartment is booby trapped and he has extra locks on his bedroom door and carries around all his important documents and items in a shoulder bag and filled to exploding photographer's vest despite having a very bad shoulder and a broken hip. He fired his last therapist when I was about 14 because he believed the guy was in on the conspiracy. When he was in the hospital last year following surgery they had to throw him out early because he was threatening to shoot one of the nurses. I'm the only person who still takes his calls because all he does is scream at people and accuse them of "gangstalking" him and rant about all the episodes of the conspiracy which have been performed most recently. I don't understand how anyone can live being that furious 24/7. I had several elder healthcare workers from various services sent to check up on him and try to enroll him in various programs but he chased them all away screaming and the psych nurse told me he was too insane for him to care for.
So why is he your ex now R41 ?
I booby trap my apartment and I'm not insane.
One of my father's first cousins is a schizophrenic who lives as a recluse in the backwoods of New Hampshire, I don't know how she has ever supported herself. Nobody in the family has seen her in many years and any relatives who have tried to contact her have not been responded to. She's seriously odd.
THe worst kind of insane person or persons are the ones that have abused the weaker ones in the family.And try in their own pathetic way of saying well you bring up the past and we dont want to here it, well, well isnt that nice for you .Go screw your self you self love for your self guess what the man up srairs will stop you bastards one way or another.Then who will get the last laugh.