How do you handle being gay and still living with your mom?
At any age.
How do you handle it?
What, seriously? Unless you're the biggest cockwhore in town and routinely bring home tricks for fuck sessions, why would living with one's mother as an adult (assuming it's for a BRIEF amount of time) be problematic?
How old are you, R1?
R2, I'm 32 and lived with my mother for a couple of years after undergrad. Wasn't a terribly big deal.
Borrow her outfits when I go out on Sat nite!!
Well, for one thing, in the case of "your place or mine", it's always their place, unless your parents are out of town for a while.
Unless you're still closeted and have to constantly lie about who you are, I don't see the big deal.
If *you* are living with *her*, it may never work.
I came out in my teens. When I was in my forties, my mother, who lives overseas, expressed a desire to move back to the States and in with me. The way she was talking about it, I could tell that she was thinking that she would live in the style to which she was accustomed. With me paying for all of it and her ruling the roost. I sat her down and said the following: Come to the States if you want. Come and live with me if you want. But we will be *housemates*. We will come to mutually acceptable agreements about how to live. And there will be *no* blue water in the toilet.
Needless to say, she still lives overseas.
But it was the only way it could have worked. For us, at least.
If you're her caregiver, you can invite dates for dinner. You do not trick at home while an elderly person is in the house; it's skeevy. If you are going to meet up with someone, you have to hire a sitter while you're away. You also have to explain to the elderly person why you will be away and when you will return. If they have dementia, it's impossible. Just give up.
If she's independent, you go out. You courtesy call if you're going to be away past a normal time so she doesn't worry. You pay rent, pick up half the chores, do your own laundry, contribute to the food budget, and thank your god that she allows you to live there.
You will deal with a bunch of assholes that live independently. You'll circulate with people your own age until you meet normal people who have roommates. If you're not too bizarre, one will let you know who needs a roommate and how much it will cost. You will save your pennies and move in when you have enough money saved to bail if they're serial killers.
Sometimes it's not the son with the problem. I had a friend who lived with his mother well beyond the normal years. But it was his mother who put her head in the sand. She was a very nice woman, but she never brought up or even implied anything regarding her son being gay. Never.
She wasn't nuts; she was pleasant and personable. Did she ever think about him being gay? Who knows? I would imagine she did. But she never said a word. And he enjoyed living with her.
Since he and I were close friends, it was me with the problem since I couldn't believe they could live together and we would discuss it. But it didn't seem to bother him.
Adults who live with their parents are pathetic. The absolute worst are rotting eldergays living with their even-more-rotting mothers.
It's not as hard as you'd think. In some ways.
her foundation color is for summers, I'm a winter
How pathetic. Grow up!
If my mother lived in a mansion that had separate entrances and separate kitchens, living rooms etc. I must say I would consider it. Under normal circumstances, no way.
It's like "Grey Gardens," except without the raccoons.