Let's Roll Cinnamon Rolls!
My Neighbor is a Gargoyle (complete with video)
My landlord is spying on me and I'm going to sneak into his house and find the evidence (posted in real-time segments)
And of course, the queen thread of them all: Dialing The Phone With A Pencil.
"Dialing the phone with a pencil" was too darn cute.
Also I loved the "I found one of Mindy Cohn's old braziers in the laundromat and I love to beat off while sniffing it" was a good one.
"Horrific childhood TV viewing experiences that warped you."
I would love it if that could be bumped up again. It was awesome.
r9, it started as a question about the best way to store bread. Then the kitchen kweens chimed in and told OP what an unwashed heathen he was, should turn in his gay card right now, etc.
It was actually informative; apparently we have a few bakers here who explained the technical reason why the OP was wrong to refrigerate it.
The soda box in the fridge was another similar thread that cracked me up.
[quote]The last "What were some of the most memorable Datalounge threads?" thread, which was started two weeks ago, apparently wasn't that memorable.
But there was a "What were some of the most memorable Datalounge threads?" thread from about five weeks ago that was more memoralbe than the one which was started two weeks ago.
The one from five weeks ago, said that it was the fifth "What were some of the most memorable Datalounge threads?" thread in six months. Many people agreed, thus it was memorable for that reason alone.
JLo vs. Madonna, with Fa
"Damn, Teresa Giudice has some ugly kids."
I always thought that "I Shit Repeatedly in My Daughter's Open, Hungry Mouth" was a great thread.
Present your hole to your cat or summat like that.
What's a "soda box", precious? What's a "soda box"?
I second "Damn, Teresa Giudice has some ugly kids."
Anderson Cooper Collects Hello Kitty
My fat roommate sits in my antique chair.
The 9/11 thread is unforgettable.
I liked the one about the poor guy with two penises, one above the other, as if that really mattered.
Serving Instant Coffee instead of Freshly Brewed
The Bread Pudding Lesbian
Is a Baked Potato Bar Dinner Party a Good Idea?
Cash Bars at Weddings
Janice the Vegan.
An eldergay just hissed at me
The first almiqui thread
Let's be Portland, Oregon
Nick and Kelli
Weird Little Girl Next Door
The "Let Me Tell You About Deb Messing" threads are the best of all time.
ww f0or R8
Inviting a fat friend over when you have delicate furniture
Pissing in the Sink
The founder of the gay newspaper/magazine that went ex-gay was fascinating in a sick way.
I always enjoy the typos that become legendary -
Graxy, thug duck etc.
But I can't remember if it's Cooked non or cooked not even toast.
Non-event toast, R35.
[quote] I always enjoy the typos that become legendary -
Why is straight me so stupid?
The Official Whitney Houston Funeral Coverage Thread
A good bottom makes his own lube
I just had sex with Janie Lane
Nancy Reagan's Casket Dance
Any thread Chung Ho participated in
No one has mentioned the best EST thread ever, the Lesbian Potluck Wedding! So good because we all pretty much fell for it. Lesbian stereotypes work.
Wedding fiascos, especially the post where the "other woman" showed up dressed in black, like Joan Collins, and proceeded to tell the family that the father lost his big corporate job a year or so earlier and SHE was footing the bill for the big day, so she had every right to be there.
It was a long time ago, so I don't remember it all that well, but I think it ended in a few arrests.
I think she was the groom's aunt or something
Summarian Housewives and Chick Peas
Whatever happened to Chairo?
[quote]A good bottom makes his own lube
OMG - LOL! Was there really such a thread?! That is hilarious. I exiled for awhile while the Josh fangurls ruled the roost and that hideous Slocombe was writing the 900,000 Wikipedia entry, so I missed a great deal.
"Why is straight me so stupid?"
Why are straight me so stupid?
The early Michfest threads. I laughed so hard about some of the posts.
My favorite was the thread from the young woman who was an assistant at some production company in Burbank and she had a bithcy boss who had an autistic son or SOMETHING that wasn't quite right. Anyway, one day she brought the son (7 or 8 years old) into the office with her and he proceeded to run around like a maniac (and the mother didn't stop him) and then he ran into the corner of the assistant's cubicle (outside the boss' office) pulled down his pants and took a dump in the corner, and just started crying. The mother came out and wanted to know what the assistant had done to make her cry, she saw the pile and just shrugged and left it there. The cleaning staff overnight didn't touch it either because it was 'hazardous' and the assistant didn't clean it up either. She quit two days later, while the crap was STILL there.
R40 listed the one I thought of.
IIRC it was already a minor classic before Janie died. Wasn't his death like within a day or two of the sex romp?
The original Golden Girls inconsistencies thread.
Well, of course the 9/11 thread remains the top. I saved it on a hard drive maybe 5 computers back.
But for me it was Cut vs. Uncut back in the day - maybe 2000.
Bai Ling on the roof!
[quote] Non-event toast
I'm pretty sure it was "not event toast," a horrible typo by a bitter queen complaining about the hostess starving her guests at a party. One of my favs.
Bonnie Mace threads
The Brokeback Mountain movie review by the legendary Homosex Troll.
"Help! I just sent a cell phone video of myself masturbating to my whole family!"
And finally an obscure little thread from years ago about meeting a new running mate who was straight and the nice jogs they took together. No sex, just a friendly little thread. :)
Not that soon, R51, but within two or three months which made the thread hi jinx sad in retrospect. Didn't an ex-wife or groupie come on the thread to defend him? Or was that a re-post from another site?
The freeper cruise ship photo album
Larry Kramer's visit to yell at everyone on World AIDS Day, and David Ehrenstein's immortal response ("Hi, Larry!")
Ginny from Billing
It wasn't the title, but salesgirls from the 1930s.
"Then I told Trixie she shoulda slapped that hussy's face!"
I think it was something like 19th century shows.
All I remember is "Dancing with the Czars" and "Mother May I Bundle With Percy"
Denny Scott Photography -- Denny was (and is) some Midwestern glamour shots/"boudoir" photographer. His stuff was so bad it was like he was a Christopher Guest characters.
Most of the photos came down once DLers began visiting the website and telling their friends. Here's one of the few I could find.
The original Helen Lawson thread was hilarious, although the joke has become tired in recent years.
There was a thread by a guy who had a daughter who was so precious that he had to leave his shopping cart in the middle of the supermarket parking lot. LOVED that one.
etenmanns celebration cak
Tipping with Jam.
The cheese farmer who caught his neighbor fucking his goat.
If Brokeback Mountain were directed by other directors
The one about (and I'm paraphrasing) creating our own ABC movie-of-the-week.
The thread begun by a drunken Judy "Pills" in which she threatened to drive down to Philly for some reason or other.
Thw weird neighbors down the street
The A.I. thread, in which those who hated it and those who loved it attacked each other ferociously for [bold]days[/bold].
Gaylings and Jared Leto
The Butterfish thread.
The Stepson/Stepfather thread also done in real time.
I just had sex with Jani Lane.
The Michfest threads are always good for a laugh.
For or all you DL old timers, just remember... Fresca isn't a diet soda.
DL flame war
The original Helen Lawson thread titled "What Was Your Favorite Helen Lawson Show" was one of the funniest goddamn things I have ever read in my life. I couldn't read it at work because I was laughing too much. I wish I'd saved it.
The threads where we invaded/hijacked the International House Of Prayer, the retribution posts in our threads from various IHOPers, and the eventual edict by the Webmaster that anymore inter-website warfare would get us banned ... legendary.
The best posts were on IHOP, by DLers; "What if the rapture happens while I'm driving?", "I think my love for Jesus may be homosexual in nature", etc. The IHOPers were initially perplexed at the complexity of our issues, but after several days the lesser DLers showed up and it became obvious we were abusing their "counselling" services.
Best week on DL ever.
The 'bread in the refrigerator' thread had me in tears of laughter: "I need to talk to you. NOW! No, not after you take a pee, NOW! I was looking around for something to eat, and what did I find? BREAD! In your REFRIGERATOR! What kind of a man are you? ANSWER ME!" etc. Very funny.
There was an obnoxious People magazine fluff story on that insane Duggar family on the People website, and the comments from fraus and fundie housewives were so noxious ( many posted anti-gay stuff) that DLers took a field trip and wrote parody posts while pretending to be good little Christian fraus, complete with assumed names like "Thelma Sugarmoobs" and "Velma Breedlove." There was a thread here with the best posts from the People website and they were laugh-out-loud funny. Another thread I wish I'd saved.
[quote]The A.I. thread, in which those who hated it and those who loved it attacked each other ferociously for days.
The Justin Guarini autobiography thread was great!
Something about "Summer of my Norwegian leg-warmers"?
Or was that when I was LSD?
Possible - I once hid in a cupboard for 12 hours to escape the giant chicken which was chasing me...
Sorry - I've just been corrected - it was a giant moorhen, not a chicken (WTF?)
Serves me right for living with a literalist who has an eidetic memory.
Thank god he's lovely...OR I MIGHT GET ANNOYED THAT HE'S LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER AS I TYPE!!!!
Agree with R32, that Deb Messing-as-a-St-Teresa-type person (or something) was hysterical; by the time it ended with something like, "Qui est-ce cette cunt?", I was on the floor from laughter!
And the yearly "Cube Frau from hells/what to bring to office holiday parties threads" - and where IS such a thread this year?, waaaaaaaaaaaa?? Can't find, sorry. TIA.
May I admit here - my- threads? Some were hits, some were misses, some were bombs:
Stevie Nicks kicked my daughter in the vagina ( I think I used the c word)
My cat Snuggles Mamoody who I played Not without my daughter with
Entemanns celebration cake
-surprise hit- mainly because of cak, not my horrible ramblings or my obsession with those delicious cakes!
And I am sadly responsible for 80 percent of the early momma posts- including Easter of 2007 where she detailed her sexual exploits spending the entire day in the port authority bathrooms
- bombed- with some fans though
ANYTHING by Gilbert Gayling
[quote]The original Helen Lawson thread was hilarious, although the joke has become tired in recent years.
More than tired and not even slightly amusing. Nobody has come up with anything close to the original postings. What kind of moron can't stop?
Musical Lesbians (or something like that, 2003)
Marilyn Bergman Lesbo
Anything Liza Minnelli
Anything David Ehrenstein
[quote]Something about "Summer of my Norwegian leg-warmers"?
It was "Summer of My German Leg Warmers" and it was based on a real tv movie with Kristie McNicol and Esther Rolle.
Thanks for reminding me about good old Denny Scott photography, r63. Man, that was a good thread. Those pics were gold.
I loved the "years and years of high school senior photos" thread from a couple of months ago. Laughed a lot at that one.. I started to post in it the other day but didn't want be accused of being a bump troll.
The real-time coverage of Anderson Cooper's reporting of hurricane Ivan n 2004.
The real-time coverage of a red-carpet show with Kathy Griffin, where she asked Michael Cera and that girl that played Maybe on "Arrested Development" to comment on Dakota Fanning entering rehab. I believe this was the origination of the hard-living Dakota and the Dakota vs. Abigail Breslin rivalry DL memes.
[quote]I believe this was the origination of the hard-living Dakota and the Dakota vs. Abigail Breslin rivalry DL memes.
I remember when they were funny, but that was long ago.
Guy trying to brine a Thanksgiving turkey and things going very wrong.
Lisa Beamer's Let's Roll Cinnamon Roll shops. They had to remove a corner of the Hoover FBI building to install the first shop.
Bread in the freezer, fridge, or bread box. The OP left DL for awhile and returned many months later to find that the thread was still going.
Let the sagas continue.
There was a thread a long time ago about someone that dropped a deuce in Joann Fabrics, or Joann Fabrics wouldn't let them use their rest room. I can't remember which, but it was hysterical.
Shit bra!!!! Coffee cradling.
I AM MAN LANDERS. TELL ME YOUR WOES. SINCERELY MAN LANDERS.
Still cracks me up..
Also the one about the old-timey TV shows, like "Top Hat."
Many won't believe me, but honestly, this is true. No, not me, I'd never do this. So many of you have good advice and thats why I'm asking.
A buddy just called me. He was playing around last night, and put an apple up his butt. It got stuck there. He told me that its still there. I've tried google, he has tried google, and can't find an answer about what to do.
An apple is biodegradable so will it come out by itself? Once he has to go to the bathroom, will it push it out? Does he need to go to a doctor?
Without question, the Prancing Ponies.
Nastiest Person on Broadway, parts 1 & 2
The original Sows at the Trough.
The Baked Potato Party.
And the 9/11 thread could be put in a time capsule as far as I'm concerned.
Some of the Academy Awards threads have been great too but not so much recently. They really made that evening an event on DL.
Once around the garden.
I Trapped My Neighbor's Cat
videotaped himself jerked off and accidentally sent it to every phone contact. then he moved away for a fresh start.
Lisa Beamer is granting a license to a corporation that plans a chain of Let's Roll shops across the nation that will be selling cinnamon rolls, a favorite of her late hero-husband Todd Beamer.
Beamer, the man who uttered "Let's roll" shortly before he died on a hijacked airplane on Sept. 11, requested his wife's special cinnamon rolls after church every Sunday. Lisa Beamer's special recipe will be the foundation of the Let's Roll chain of shops to be placed in high-end malls across America.
"In Todd's memory, we'll have a special promotion every Sunday after church time," said Lisa Beamer. "Anyone who places an order for a roll and then says, 'Let's roll' will get one free Todd Beamer Let's Roll cinnamon roll. His signature on our marriage license will be reproduced on all the napkins at the Let's Roll stores. I feel that this will help people to remember who he was."
The decor of the shops will be based on the decor of the Beamer home and will include a bookcase filled with Bibles and religious-themed books.
"People will think they are sitting in our den as they eat their Let's Roll rolls," said Beamer. "We'll also sell non-caffinated and non-alcoholic beverages at the shops."
The first shop is expected to open on September 11 at the corner of 9th Street and Pennsylvania Ave. in Washington, DC.
Jason Priestly is NOT gay
I just bumped the "bread in the fridge" thread.
if you ask tig notaro those would be the one's she had deleted.
The ones that brought tears of laughter were the Red Dragon cheese, free soda refills at the Italian restaurant, Datalounge in other times.
So much wit on this site.
"What's your favorite Helen Lawson musical?"
That thread was brilliant.
r43, I'll agree to disagree with you.
The best elaborate scenario thread ever was: "I'm in Love With My Father-in-Law."
Truly, if for no other reason then to school would-be est posters on how it's done effectively, that is a thread that should be archived. What compelling schlock, with hundreds of posters hanging on for the ride.
Of course, at first, most of us fell for it hook, line, and sinker until the OP skillfully, subtly changed the tone of the posts letting it finally dawn on you that we'd been had.
Bravo to that OP.
Turkey meatballs/I'm not running a B&B was the one DL thread that made me pee myself. It had everything, from helpful advice to withering sarcasm along with an indignant OP who kept digging himself further and further into a hole.
Once Around the Garden was an elaborate scenario I really enjoyed.
A few more:
"Man dies from fucking a horse." I felt so guilty giggling at the responses to that thread but I couldn't help it. I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.
"I Just Shot a 3 foot Iguana In My Back Yard." by Daniel Boon.
Cupcakes, Macaroons, Macarons. So funny.
I thought for certain somebody gonna get hurt.
I liked the one where the guy lived in a house cut up into apartments, but there was a secret room in the basement with recording equipment. There was also something strange about a car in the garage. I think the secret room was accessed through a trap door in a closet.
The graxy thread was pretty funny, considering it was supposed to be about gravy.
Did you save the whole thing R106? I started that thread and probably wrote some of the things in your post. I picked the location for the first shop to be in the corner occupied by the J.E.Hoover FBI building. It seemed like a good place for a Fundie Pubbie shop.
R121, your bump was not very memorable.
"Famous JonBenets in History, and Their Accomplishments"
I liked that one where the guy had an alkie boyfriend who he was cheating on with another alkie, and he's asking for advice on how to get cash out of the first alkie, which he sees as a sort of payment for services rendered as boyfriend e.g. sex.
He copped 600 barrels of shit but I tthought he was fun.
Let's Roll Cinnamon Roll shops.
Should bread be kept in the fridge, freezer or breadbox?
Lesbian potluck wedding reception. They didn't want to spend money because they were saving for a honeymoon trip to Phoenix from Jacksonville, Florida.
It's all about JULIE; always has been, always will be. Everything leads to and from Julie; it's kinda like 6 Degrees of Separation, but to the infinite power!
Mame, Hello Dolly, and South Pacific threads are memorable. Not because they were great, because they keep going on and on and on for years.
"My Sister-in-Law 'phobed me Part II".
Pt. I is up, but Part II seems to be gone. It was the most fabulous and funny story I'd read in a long time.
If anyone has the Part II text from its author, then I'd love it to be posted here or somewhere again, because I missed it, thinking that it would stay here for a much longer time.
Things we can't do anymore threads, still best ever.
r1 [quote]Bread in the fridge.
Please, link to the thread. (And yes, I keep the bread in the fridge, where it belongs.)
The original one is gone, r133.
There a lame one from 2012 referencing the first one, but it sucks.
r132, when was that? I don't remember that thread.
The bread in the fridge was so many years ago that it was probably deleted when they did the housecleaning and dumped most of the archives.
Let's Pretend We're in a Stevie Nicks Video!
Things we used to do but can't anymore. Best writing and stories ever at DL.
The guy who used to work in a NYC bathhouse and listed a lot of the celebs who were customers.
Sows at the Trough
The Nasty Pig Rude Sales Bottom
The original Helen Lawson threads
Baked Potato Bar
The Original MichFest Thread