What is the worst/most inappropriate gift you've ever received?
I remember getting a robot with no batteries for Christmas. My parents told me I'd have to do extra chores to earn the batteries.
I got a Daisy Red Rider BB gun, then I shot my eye out.
At a party among a group of friends I invited a gal from work. In front of everyone she presented me with a gift and insisted I open it. The box contained a red tee shirt printed with a big taco and the slogan "If God didn't want you to eat pussy, why did he make it look like a taco?"
A tabloid with a picture of John Lennon's corpse on the front. The Xmas right after Lennon was shot.
My father got it for me because he knew I was a Beatles fan. Serious passive aggression on his part.
I got a rock.
I don't really care much but one year I mentioned a week or two before Christmas that we needed a screwdriver set for the house. On Christmas morning I opened a gift and it was said screwdriver set. I was sort of like, "Oh." My partner goes, "You said we needed a screwdriver set!" I said, "Yeah, but you didn't have to wrap it up and put it under the tree!"
My other gift was a Marlon Brando DVD box set - strictly B movies - that reeked of last minute Christmas shopping desperation (I'm much more of a Montgomery Clift man) and a bottle of vodka (I don't drink).
We are no longer together.
During my bar period, which began sometime in the late 70's and lasted about twenty years, a particularly bitchy "friend" gave me a school bus yellow t-shirt. On the front was the walking fingers Yellow Pages logo with the words, "You can find me in the Yellow Pages"
On the back was stated, "Under 'Bar Fixtures'"
I loved that shirt and wore it until it fell apart. Started a lot of conversations and let to some interesting evenings.
Rose gave me a homemade wooden maple syrup spigot.
It will come in handy... the next time I'm lost in the woods with a stack of pancakes.
I think I was in college when I got a set of Ben Wa balls one Christmas.
From my grandmother.
I'm sure she ordered them from Lillian Vernon or Harriet Carter where they were advertised as stress relievers. Still, it was all I could do to not burst out laughing.
OMG, R14. That's hilarious. Do you have to hang it up somewhere when they visit?
[quote]That's hilarious. Do you have to hang it up somewhere when they visit?
LOL, I have it in a china cabinet I got from my folks. I make sure it is prominent when my cousin visits (giver of the painted sawblade).
One year, my mom got me a scale for Christmas. Gee thanks, mom...Now that I have this scale, maybe I'll finally realize how fat and ugly I am! Apparently the mirror isn't enough..lol
This reminded me of Sheldon in TBBT who shared with great difficulty the time his parents gave him a mini-bike.
My great aunt bought me a black balaclava because I used to ski. I would never wear that thing! We called it the terrorist mask the rest of the night and had a good laugh about it (my great aunt wasn't there). I'll never forget my other aunt saying, "What was she thinking?" The next year my cousin got a red one, the year after my other cousin a navy blue one. We started calling it the Golden Toque Award.
[quote]I remember getting a robot with no batteries for Christmas. My parents told me I'd have to do extra chores to earn the batteries.
That was really mean of your parents, OP.
About 30 years ago ( yes,I'm a paleogay) my mom got me a book called "How To Pick Up Women In Ten Easy Steps" or something like that.
Her rationale : "You're nice looking, smart and successful! Why can't you find a nice girl?"
I love my mom, but she was TOTALLY clueless until I had "The Talk" with her.
Some of these are truly hilarious, but the prize is R12's. That is both funny and sad.
My mom liked to buy me board games when I was a kid,the problem was that I'm an only child and she would never play them with me so they were useless space wasters yet every year a new board game.
Christmas 1993. My top request was a new stereo with a cd player for my bedroom. My older brother, who was 16, already had one. I was aching to have one, because up until that point I had a shitty am/fm stereo with a tape player, and it was a hand- me- down from my brother when he got his cd player.
Christmas morning: my parents give my brother a brand new stereo with a cd player and remote. I got no stereo. The sucky part was my brother specifically did not ask for a new stereo, and he also said he didn't really like the new one. I even said out loud, "I think it's pretty cool!" , hoping they would get the hint and offer it to me. Nope. I ended up saving up all my paper route money and buying my own.
So, what's become of your brother, R24?
A fake Louis Vuitton shoulder bag from Countess Helen and her husband Nerdzio in 1978.
My dad was best friends with one of those families that sends photo cards and a newsletter every Christmas - very Lutheran and very functional. One of the chores of Christmas was getting together with these people and their children who were hyper happy all the time.
One year, the father gave me a board game where players do not compete, but help one another to achieve goals. I forget what the name of it was, but it was for the turtleneck-wearing guitar players of the Lutheran Church. To be fair, all of our gifts to them were deemed inappropriate for children.
The year after my dad married my (now former) stepmother, my brother and I forgot to call her on her birthday. Our punishment for being so thoughtless was no gifts for Christmas except educational ones (e.g. books). I was 11 at the time.
On the plus side, I never forget to call family members on their birthdays (btw this happened 30 years ago now).
Older brothers get everything. I had an older brother who was just shy of 2 years older. He got everything, I got his hand me downs and cast offs. I eventually outgrew him being taller and slimmer and was ready for my first suit that had not been him. Shit, my parents found an older kid from our church and I started getting his old suits.
Tom was killed in combat and life was never the same again.
Your dad's an ass, r28. It was up to him to invite you to his new wife's b-day and maybe even get a present for you to give her, since you were so young.
My mother gave me an ironing board one year for my birthday (around age 30)! I was mortified but didn't say anything - just kind of pretended it didn't happen and didn't take it with me. i think it was my sister's suggestion.
LOL at r4
Montgomery Ward sent me a bathtub and a crosscut saw!
But did you start doing your own ironing after that, R31?
A garbage can. I kid you not.
Last year, my drunken but WEALTHY stepmom sent me a dollar store stuffed animal, 2 photos of herself and my dad at a party, and a tube of lip balm with the name of an insurance company on it.
I've told her before (politely) not to ever give me any gifts. She does things like this absolutely to be passive-aggressive. One year, it was a little girl's T-shirt that said "RUDE GIRL" in its original National Wholesale Liquidators plastic bag.
But when I got the batch listed above, I e-mailed her and my dad: "Thanks for thinking of me. But next time you clean out an old drawer, there's no need to send me the contents."
They ended up contacting my sister, telling her to call me and chastise me for being "ungrateful and hurtful."
So I e-mailed back: "I'm sorry for being so rude. It was a lovely surprise to receive your fun gifts. Truthfully, I was just in a bad mood due to something completely unrelated."
They wrote back: "We accept this as a valid apology and know that you know better."
my parents went to Canada and "thought" they had bought me a Canadian maple leaf lapel pin.. but it was a marijuana leaf. They made me wear it on my winter coat and I got in trouble at school for it. They also had purchased an air fresher for my car that was a pot leaf. They also bought me a feathered roach clip for my cowboy hat.. they were very straight traditional republican types from the depression era and did not see the humor in any of this.
In high school my friends gave me a wig saying it was nicer than my normal hair. :(
My cousin got me a handbell for the family gift exchange. He said he didn't know what to get me so he just got me a bell.
Back in the day, late 80's through mid 90's, our family Xmas celebration included over 25 people, each one giving a gift to everyone else. It was not uncommon for any one person to "forget" to get a gift for one other person.
This was usually not a big deal, everyone got a pile of gifts. But one year almost all the adults forgot me. I got all the usual hand made stuff from the kids....but nothing else.
When it became obvious there was nothing for me, Mom ran to the kitchen and wrapped a bag of Chips Ahoy cookies and slapped my name on it.
No one said a word, but after that we switched to a "drawing names" system.
In all fairness, Mom and Dad gave me a Rolex on my next birthday.
My mother would give me gift certificates to local men's clothing stores (David Burr, Grubers, etc. in north Jersey) or money. She'd do it in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear and say "I don't know what the hell to get you. Lose some weight and for Christ's sake dress nice."
One year, my grandmother got me the Nynex Yellow Pages from her hometown. Yup.
I received a HUGE vibrator with no batteries. Talk about adding insult to injury.
I know I've mentioned this in another thread somewhere, but it's still the worst gift I've ever received. Every Christmas for about 3 years in a row, my partner's mom gave me a gigantic bath towel. At first it was like WTF?, then the next year was funny, then the next year it was annoying.
He finally said something to her about it, then she switched to giving me a box of Florida oranges every year. Anita Bryant would have been proud. We couldn't do anything but just laugh.
One year a lifelong friend of my mother's gave me a second hand CROSS pendant she purchased from some garage sale. Um were Jewish.
NOT cha-cha heelssssss.
Got porcelain dolls, when I actually wanted Barbies, I also got a relationship Book for Christmas. Both were from my mom. I will Never forget the Christmas when my dad gave my mom Dessous as a Gift and she unweapped it infront of everyone. Ohhhhh One Year my mom gave my bf at the Time bixershorts as a Present....
A personalized tag for the front of my car with my initials from my Mom who tried hard. I put it on to please her -- but I didn't know until a very expensive ticket later that front tags are illegal in CA (save for issued ones). I didn't have the heart to tell her how much her gift cost me -- until I got another the next year like a new tradition. I felt awful.
My boyfriend gave me a bottle of oil of olay for my birthday.
I'm kind of stunned. My family said we were going out to dinner tonight and they had a surprise for me. We eat, and just before the waiter brings the check, they gave me a gift certificate for the restaurant, saying "Merry Christmas!" and then I was expected to pay the bill with the certificate. And make up the difference. There were six of us, and the certificate covered about half the bill. And on the way home, my mother asked if I was pleased with my Christmas present.
Sucks to be you, R50!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
One year, my husband's (very wealthy) grandmother gave him a compass. My husband has terrible anxiety and depression and rarely leaves the house--much less goes hiking or walking in the woods.
I have a snarky, bitchy friend who gives insulting gifts to her friends.
I could list dozens given over the years. She won't fuck with me, as she knows I'll come back with a cutting remark.
But most of our mutual friends are afraid of her sharp tongue, and she gets away with the most withering, demeaning gifts.
The one last year was the worst. A friend who has a weight problem but accepts it and even makes jokes at her own expense. So, our friend gives her an expensive bottleof OTC diet pills.
The recipient thought they were appetite suppressants I've given her my leftovers (prescribed ny a doctor) because she can't afford s bariatric doctor, not cover by insurance.
Sadly, these were fat-blockers, with side effects not clearly explained in the included pamphlet. I wouldn't be surprised sy all if the bitchy gift giver removed the paperwork.
I won't give the scat freaks an explanation of what happened at work but it was bad, humiliating.
None of us are giving or accepting "gifts" from our friend this year.
WTF are you giving your prescription diet pills to your friend, R53? How's that any different? Actually it's worse. Appetite suppressants are dangerous and ineffective. Idiot.
And who takes pills just because someone gave them as a gift? Duh, lemme go ahead and swallow these diet pills without researching what they could do to me.
Sorry for the typos. I'm typing on a phone and the cursor nevers goes where you want.
It was the first Christmas that I did not receive ANY toys at all, only socks and underwear. Socks---can you believe it?
Oh, and I got my first piece of Franklin Mint porcelain (they used to advertise in TV Guide back in the 70s) from my Grandmother. Obviously, she thought I was queer. I slipped it into her coffin when she died.
Still Pissed Off
Gifts from coworkers are THE WORST. About 5 years ago, I used to have a DUMB guy coworker (kinda the boss) and his first name was LeSommer (black) so we called him Suzanne LeSommers behind his back and for Xmas, I gave him a year subscription to Fortune because he was all about finances and I thought that was a pretty nice gift. What does he get me? A used fucking copy of The Crying Game that he threw in a blockbuster video bag. So I said in front of the entire office, "I didn't realize we were getting gag gifts, were we?" A few months later he had a nervous breakdown and I was glad.
At a party for me when I was promoted, a sneaky, angry, manipulative, lying, back-stabbing co-worker saw the gifts other brought and ran to her office and came back with a small leftover plant from a group of plants she had given to some interns.
Bigger than that
It's a wonderful gift, but for the wrong person. Years ago I was given a fox hat that was straight out of Doctor Zhivago. The problem? I've been a vegetarian forever and won't even use leather on ethical grounds. I don't think they knew because I'm quiet about my beliefs. I thanked them graciously but I've never worn it.
A Summer's Eve medicated douche. I didn't know what to do with it.
An extra large pink women's sweat suit from a friend of my mother's when I was about 8, very short and only weighed about 65lbs.
[quote]I know I've mentioned this in another thread somewhere, but it's still the worst gift I've ever received. Every Christmas for about 3 years in a row, my partner's mom gave me a gigantic bath towel. At first it was like WTF?, then the next year was funny, then the next year it was annoying.
[quote]He finally said something to her about it, then she switched to giving me a box of Florida oranges every year. Anita Bryant would have been proud. We couldn't do anything but just laugh.
And I remember all of us telling you that a giant towel or oranges were terrific gifts. I'd be glad to receive either.
A used comb from my sister-in-law.
I hate that woman.
I got a Kindle. I mean really? Why buy a Kindle when Apple makes a much better product?
My partner's mother's new husband gave everyone a scratch off lottery ticket two years ago. I won $40 and he took it back and kept it for himself. Last year, he gave everyone scratch offs again, and I handed it back to him and said, " No thanks, last year I won and you took it back, so just keep it." Normally, I would be gracious, but they're country redneck Texan bible-belters who think the gays are sinners doomed for hell.
Even though the mom and new husband cheated on their respective spouses (including my partner's father) and left them for each other. But, that's perfectly respectable.
A passive-aggressive coworker gives home made peanut brittle and toffee to us each Christmas.
I am a diabetic.
OMG, pass it my way, R67. I love that stuff.
White wine from a dinner guest.
I thought it was a joke.
Don't gift me fucking flowers as a hostess offering, çunts, I want red wine or Belgian chocolate.
I don't have time to deal with fucking flowers whilst preparing dinner for you moochers. No time, no time! Drawing water into a vasa! No time, no time!
The worst GIFTS I received was when I was hosting a dinner party for my closest friends. Someone had the nerve to bring me a bottle of white wine (bitch, I KNOW you've only seen me drinking red wine. You are SO passive aggressive). Someone at my party brought me FLOWERS. FLOWERS? Don't you know I'm too busy setting up this buffet styled dinner party to deal with the FLOWERS you gave me? My friends are SO passive aggressive.
Years ago, at an office where I worked, we did a Secret Santa gift exchange where you would list three items you wanted, all $20 or less. I named two specific CDs I wanted and a gift certificate to a music or book store. When it came to exchange the gifts, the receptionist handed me mine as she had drawn my name. I opened it and it was a CD from a country music band whom I had never heard and most of the songs had religious themes in the titles. The receptionist smiled and said "I hope you like it. They're one of my favorite bands". I tried a weak smile, threw it in with the rest of my gifts and never listened to it. (A fellow worker noticed my disappointment and when I explained the situation, they also couldn't understand why the receptionist did it, other than she was always "out of it".)
One Christmas when I was around probably 12/13, an aunt of mine who is known for being ridiculously sanctimonious gave checks for $50 each to my two cousins and me with a note that said "Please donate to the charity of your choice."
My parents rolled their eyes and put it in my savings account without telling her.
A lot of people are weird about music, R72. They wrongly assume that the only reason someone might not like what they like is due to lack of exposure. The really believe that all you have to do is give their "favorite band" one listen and you'll fall in love like they did.
I think that was a wonderful gift, r73. Sorry to hear it was wasted on the wrong person.
What's wrong with a dinner guest bringing white wine?
Lifted from an older thread, but it still makes me giggle:
[quote]My aunt gave me TONS of socks she had knitted. I mean every color, size, shape, some had stars on them. One sock she knitted said "Chocolate Sista" down the damn sock.
I was a paperboy when I was young (ages 12-16) in the early 1970s. Each year I would get a variety of strange Christmas gifts from customers (soap on a rope and countless bottles of Avon cologne, Old Spice gift set). I also received recycled gifts (including a package of underwear, a salami log from Hickory Farms, and a bottle of Boone's Farm apple wine).
Who gives a 12-year old a bottle of Boone's Farm or a packet of BVDs? All I wanted was cash.
Lonely housewives or eldergays, r78.
[quote]I received a HUGE vibrator with no batteries. Talk about adding insult to injury.
This reminds me of the funniest Christmas I spent at a friend's house. She got her son a monkee that clapped little cymbals together. But she forgot the batteries. So she went under her bed, found her vibrator, took the batteries out and put them in the monkee.
We were all sitting around with the little boy waiting for her to turn on the monkey. When she did, it clapped exactly once, and then died.
We all broke up in hysterics.
I love my sister but she is almost a congenitally unsuccessful gift chooser. This year she gave me a hideous all-acrylic scarf with a multicolored checkerboard pattern from the shop at MoMA.
But what really took the cake was the second gift - also from the MoMA shop. Some kind of oval, stainless steel disc that's meant to be used as hand soap after you chop garlic or onions.
Almost as bad was the souvenir she brought back for me from her October trip to Paris: a pencil-and-paper datebook of the sort I don't think anyone's used since Google calendar was invented.
I hated when she gave me a paper shredder a few years back but in retrospect that was a high point for her in gift giving. Ugh.
Here is a link to the thread about bad Christmas gifts. It has the Chocolate Sista socks.
My brother was four years old the christmas my parents gave him an empty toy box. He burst into tears.
R36 = biggest pussy doormat in the history of all things pathetic.
A wooden toilet seat from my new bf.
When I was in high school, one of my friends reported that her parents had got into it over the holidays. Her father actually gave her mother a broom. It was one of those K-tel type things that claimed to do everything on its own. He was really proud of his purchase and could not understand the ensuing tears.
My partner's ex comes from a family that was insanely wealthy. I mean, billionaires, counting all their assets. One year, they put lumps of coal in the box and gave it to him, saying he was a particularly bad boy that year. Not that they would know, since he was raised by nannies and would only be picked up by his mother for a short hug after she had her afternoon cocktail.
R50- OMG was home a trailer. Otherwise there is no excuse.
This happened to a friend, we'll call her Jane. She shared a large apartment with two other female friends. The other two were always sneaking into Jane's room when she wasn't around. Sometimes it was for change for the laundry room, sometimes for cigarettes, often just to snoop.
One time Jane had a rough day, her irregular menstrual cycle caught her off guard a few days early and she also pooped her pants. She was working two jobs so she quickly cleaned herself up, changed and went to the other job.
The two roomates went about snooping and found the badly soiled panties Jane had hastily tossed under her bed. They decided to teach that pig a lessson. They wrapped up the panties in Christmas paper and attached a tag that said "To Jane, from Santa Claus" and made sure she opened it in front of several other friends.
And they were actually surprised when everyone took jane's side over theirs.
One of my cousins bought me a bottle of the notoriously stanky Tabu, "un parfum de puta," for Christmas when I was in high school. I wasn't offended because I knew he meant well and simply knew nothing about appropriate fragrances for a 9th grader. (I was more of an Anais Anais gal then.)
[quote]WTF are you giving your prescription diet pills to your friend, [R53]?
She has weight problems and can't afford a diet doctor. She asked to try them; I gave her some.
[quote]How's that any different? Actually it's worse.
I doubt she would agree. The strong prescription diet pills I gave her made her a bit jumpy. They didn't cause her to shit her pants at work, like the OTC ones did.
[quote]Appetite suppressants are dangerous and ineffective.
I think they're great. I tend to have a sluggish metabolism so anything that kills your appetite and gives you energy is a miracle drug, IMO.
Nor are they addictive, as is commonly believed, when used as directed..
[quote] Her father actually gave her mother a broom.
Why is it okay for men to receive drills and saws (and socks) for Christmas/birthdays/Father's Day, but wrong for women to receive such practical things?
One of the lesbians
Yes, I agree with R54. Never take pills or medicine given as a gift. See attached arsenic poisoning case.
I would LOVE that R83. Trader Joe's stopped carrying it about 2 months ago and I miss it.
I just got a fucking Precious Moments figurine, a news crew, and some trashy little girl and her parents on my doorstep for a holiday we don't celebrate.
When they were first married my folkes gifted each other with nude portraits of each other. so after they got divorced, dad gave me the one of mom. Boy was she pissed. At least I was 25. To get even, mommgave the one of dad to his mother..Gramdma loves it. She hung it in her living room which made for a very interesting Thanksgivng let me tell,you!!!! Mine is one family tree you don't want to climb, but we have fun.
R98 are you cousin jake from Cleveland??????? I KNEW you were gay. My brother owes me $20.
"Why is it okay for men to receive drills and saws (and socks) for Christmas/birthdays/Father's Day, but wrong for women to receive such practical things?"
A lot of men regard tools as toys, so giving them tools is a fun gift. And a lot of women resent having to do all the housework, so giving them a housework-related gift is deadly.
Any other questions?
But straight women would get mad if you gave them tools, too, even though most don't work with them...
Untrue R101. My ex's mom never went anywhere without her tool kit. She was quite handy with it. We had a nasty leak under the sink, and she got down there in her blue polyester pantsuit and fixed that sucker right up.
[quote]the notoriously stanky Tabu.
I remember I liked the way this smelled on girls in high school. But then this one girl used to bathe in it and when we picked her up in the Winter she stank up the whole car.
How screwed up is this? My parents invited and paid for all 5 of my brothers and sisters to take a trip to florida. I wasn't invited. I asked my mom why and she said she forgot to, but didn't mean it that way. I've never been so hurt in my life.
A hook rug kit. My Mom meant well, but it was so humiliating opening up that gift in front of all my family - when the other males in the room (brothers, brothers-in-law) had gotten things like camo hunting pants, football jerseys, etc. I wasn't "out" then, but looking back - I guess I was, huh?...
That little kit that allowed you to make multi-colored potholders with elastic fabric stuff, know what I mean? Yeah, 127 potholders made before New Years Eve. And my parents wonder what they did wrong for me to become queer.
I wanted a football
My mom bought me a hook rug kit when I was little of R2D2, It was when the first movie came out so It might be a collectable.
Somehow it's your mom's fault that you're no fun?
Obviously you weren't welcome, she was doing you a favor. Seriously Christmas is about giving, do you honestly think she should've ruined everyone else's Christmas?
The mere fact that you would post such personal information on a gay website, shows how tacky and unfeeling you are.
In this case, I agree with your mother.
A red plastic trash can and a six pack of Dr. Pepper.
1963. Third grade. Mom (a widow)had just remarried. My new dad's mother got me a roll of used typewriter ribbon.