- Because it's fucking stupid.
- OP, it's time for your afternoon nap.
- Some do, OP. Widen your circle of gay acquaintances.
- Because it would be equally as embarrassing as straight men doing it.
- Because the want to "appear" butch.
- because it makes more sense that they should call each other 'sis'!
- I thought "bro" was exclusive to straight men.
- Who says they don't? I call my friends "man, "bro" and "pal." Not all of us greet out friends with a big old "hey gurrrrrl" and a kiss.
- Because its's 'brah', bitches!
- Because we prefer, "Hey girl."
- We prefer "Mary" around here.
- "Bro" is as moronic as "bitches!"
- Straight guys use 'bitches', too, but not with each other. It's for comedic effect.
- Incest inference, that's why.
Personally, I would stand by anyone experiencing any shit for being gay (or whatever other minority), but the idea that some of the other gays I have met are my brothers is just horrifying.
- Because incest is such a turn-on to us we'd immediately fuck anyone we called "bro."
- In my clique we refer to each other as cat.
- Butch gays do as much as straight guys. I know, because I am butch.
- Because calling someone "bro" is ridiculous and moronic.
- Because gays are not into the faux macho bullshit...and 'bro' is faux macho bullshit.
- R16= the ghost of Sammy Davis' glass eye.
- We do when it becomes a really deep bromance and you just have to tell SOMEBODY about it.
- Oh please, r19. The only people who refer to it as "faux macho" are jealous guys who can't pull off a "hey bro" if their lives depended on it.
- Everyone knows the blacks own "bro". "Comrade" is too communist. There's always pal, chum, or buddy. Maybe "cuz", short for cousin.
- [quote]are jealous guys who can't pull off a "hey bro" if their lives depended on it.
What planet are you from? Some of you here have such obvious mental problems.
- [quote]Oh please, [R19]. The only people who refer to it as "faux macho" are jealous guys who can't pull off a "hey bro" if their lives depended on it.
Such as starting posts with "Oh please"
- Because the phrase "bro's before ho's" would confuse us, when the bro's are precisely the ho's we would prefer.
- r22 said it best!
- I don't even call my brother "bro".
- Words like bromance, man cave, adding m or bro to everything, reveal some deep insecurity. Can't something just be what it is without a fucking qualifier added to it?
"I'm having bro-eakfast, fetch me my man-spoon and my bro-wl, inferior woman!"
- Do we not? Think about it: Bros before hos!
I call my homies, "bitches"
- Dont tase me bro!
- "Bro" is certainly an improvement over "girlfriend." Trust me, it's more charming when real men use the term "bro." Any guy who calls another guy "girlfriend," under any circumstances, should be locked in a pillory all day and have moldy, rotten produce thrown at him.
- I like it how Dr Pepper is marketing it's diet soda as a "bro" soda because guys won't normally drink diet because it is considered unmanly. They are one of the many advertisers tapping into the "Bro Craze."
Low-cal or mid-cal drinks offer the prospect of a healthier option than regular soda, but a more full-flavored experience than zero-calorie beverages. Diet soda has historically gotten less interest from male drinkers, so many of the new low-calorie drinks aim to be more attractive to men.
Dr Pepper has taken this thinking perhaps as far as it can go, loading its advertising with bro imagery. One ad packs into 30 seconds: power tools, explosions, giant TVs and for good measure, a cowboy riding a mechanical shark. Bro skulls can be thick, the better to absorb celebratory headbutts. So to be absolutely positive the message gets through about a drink promising “10 manly calories,” the ads end with the tagline, “Dr Pepper 10. It’s not for women.”
- I'm a masculine gay guy (hate the phrase straight acting) and while I never call my buddies bro, I do say dude a lot, I just can't help it if you hang around with enough men who talk like that throughout your life eventually you pick up on the terms they use and their mannerisms. I also say man an awful lot and when one of my buddies is acting less than masculine I tell them to stup acting like a little bitch and call them a pussy, it's a reflex action of hanging around straight guys and being influenced by male culture your whole life, something that unfortunately most gay men know NOTHING about.
- The Dr Pepper ad and R35 are what's wrong with American culture. Even more rigid gender conformity than in the past.
- Because "bitch" is considered more collegial.
- I say this a lot. This time, it's dedicated to Mr. Masculine (NOT straight acting!) Gay, r35.
- get Miss Thing r35!
- OP, why would sexual orientation have anything to do with whether you call other dudes "bro?" I use the word frequently, but has nothing to do with my sexual orientation or the guys I am talking to. Stop trying to link sexual orientation to non-sexual behavior and attributes. Many of us do not.
- Is OP the G0y Manifesto Troll?
He used to be into chivalrous oral-only, Women-as-tender-flowers long-assed screeds.
For future employment reasons, I have vowed to give up the following words:
I'm trying to convert 'Asshole' to 'Ass'. I love it too much.
Please wish me luck.
- What is so wrong with being an out, openly gay , proud and masculine gay man? Who I'm attracted to sexually makes up just one part of who I am. I have a wide variety of friends and if their cool with me then we can chill. I don't discriminate based on what they're into sexually. One straight buddy of mine is into fat chicks, I think that's nasty, it doesn't mean that I'll stop hanging with him because of that, he's my boy and I'll always have his back. Girly gay men have to be the most mean, judgmental, and bitchy people I've ever encountered in my life, no wonder why I'll NEVER date one and I'm not friends with any of them. Gay sex is the hottest thing in the world, but if you're fortunate enough to be born a dude you should act like one.
- I don't know what you're talking about, OP. All the guys on Manhunt and A4A call me "bro."
- I've never heard my straight friends call each other "Bro." I think that expression is a product of some advertising agency promoting the hetero lifestyle.
- One of my brothers calls me bro and I like it. He's a great fellow too.
Some of my straight friends- most of them are tennis players call me bro or dude from time to time and it's nice. It's the way they say it- with warmth, friendship.
Now I don't turn around and call them cupcake or darling. The younger guys I play tennis with (doubles) after a good point sometimes I tell them "atta boy" or "good boy"- I'm older than all of them- and they are all expert tennis players (4.5 and up.)
My mother calls me dearie (that's what old people say I guess). I like that too. I'm getting old so perhaps I can add that to my terms of affection!
I like terms of friendship and affection whether they come from gay men, straight men, and the same variation of women- although I find women gay or straight use "sweetheart" and language like that. Lesbians do not call me bro or dude!
- I love it when chicks say "dude especially to each other. It is hot.
- I was going to post r1's exact words. R19 is also onto something.
"Bro" is the doucheist of douchebagisms. Anyone who uses this term is an idiot to be avoided.
- Gays call each other "Bra"
No they WEAR bras
- I've heard lesbians call each other "bro". Same with "dude". Sounds ridiculous imo.
- I think bro is goofy, but it's better than darling. From JoeMyGod this morning:
Yesterday, as an older couple situated themselves poolside at the Island House in Key West, I overheard a young, muscular handsome boy say something quite disparaging regarding their arrival. Those ugly words had hardly left his lips when the apparent leader of his coterie of five equally beautiful men chastised him angrily, poking a finger in the subject's chest: "Darling, if you are very, very lucky, you can only hope that one day, maybe, you and I and all of us will be around to enjoy a place like this when we are their age. Don't throw shade, honey. See yourself in them."
- What guy under 89 says darling, unless he is talking to his wife?
- It's like, 'my nigga,' with black men.
- [quote]Gays call each other "Bra"
Forgot, and hate that one. Last year's "Beavis and Butthead" made fun of it continuously with that Bounty Hunter guy.
- Men love to congratulate themselves and each other for being men while putting down women. I guess that's "male culture."
- I call my gay male friends "sis" or "sister".
- "MIss Thang" works for me
- R55 eithier be part of it, shut up about it, or get a sex change because being a man is awesome.
- r55, what does this have to do with being anti-female?
- Saying "bro" is essentially verbal chest-beating.
- No it isn't R60- it is short for brother and thus a reference of affection. Sheesh.
Straight men do have a tad of affection for their good friends you know- and even express it, albeit carefully, from time to time.
- Because they would rather be called "sis".
- I've heard gay men use this term. But not often. I don't hear the straight guys I know use this term either. But that's probably because I hang out with artsy, alternative types, for the most part.
- Heh. We say "girl"? Isn't that the same thing?
- Someone brought up the point that some gay men do call each other "bro" although it's really more of a black thing, short for brother. Maybe some black gay guys call each other bro. I think it is a matter of personal preference and how men like to show each other some degree of friendliness or affection. The thing is, gay men sometimes feel very free to use any of the other affectionate terms that would be pretty much taboo among straight men--honey/hon, dear, lover, etc. etc. but those terms are also used very sarcastically to show a degree of annoyance too. I would say that it's up to the individual. I am not the dear, honey, darling or even bro type although I would sometimes use Mary or sister to be funny. Personally as a "gay" guy, I never really cared for the term "gay", but I guess it's better than alot of the much more derogatory terms that can be used and "homosexual" even today sounds like a loaded word.
- r59, I was responding to r35. Do you really see nothing anti-female or anti-"less than masculine men" in his posts?.
- I love it when dudes call me "boss," as in, "wassup boss." It is just a word, but it makes me feel powerful and all Alpha Male. I use "boss" sparingly, but I love for dudes to call me it, especially if they themselves are very macho and thuggish.
- They'd rather call each other "Mary."
- Boss is the new, hipper, sexy version of "Bro." You use it the same way, but it has more edge to it.
- "Bro" = Dane Cook wannabe
- Bro is hopelessly dated by this point. It would hardly be fashionable for gays to take it over.
- A lot of guys say "bruh."
- I hung out with a gay 19 year old who called me and friends "bro". He told me about this website. His nickname is firstname.lastname@example.org. He was pretty cool. We hit the clubs last night. The kid has moves. He took his shirt off too.
- Guuurrrrrllllll. Yo Go.
- I almost always say bro or dude or chief or any phrase that is generally associated with straight men and I'm gay.
It's a force of habit, being what people would call a masculine gay and hanging around with mostly all straight guys my entire life you pick up on it.
I also have a habit of always scratching my balls and adjusting myself, a female friend pointed this out to me and proceeded to tell me she never met a gay man like me her entire life and I must be a little straight. That comment kind of pissed me off but I let it go
- Buddy is what I really hate. Followed by bro, dude and pal. It just doesn't happen very often with middle-aged gay men. Straight men are another story.
- There is a huge gaybro group on another chat board that rhymes with fleddit.
- A lad of my acquaintance says the greeting among he and his chums is generally, "Hey fags!" (similar to nword and homies).
- I don't like "Bro" -- it's too ethnic. I prefer "Mansierre"!
George Constanza's father
- R77 I hate to say it and I know I'm gonna get hate on here for this but a LOT of gay men were never really raised to be men and always hung out with the girls and have no clue or concept of how straight guys act and the wonderful thing called male bonding (gay porn doesn't count)
There are some gay men like myself and my boyfriend, who are masculine and have been attracted to steretypical male things and have always felt most comfortable hanging with the guys. A majority of men are straight most men talk like that if you hang around with straight guys you're whole life you're gonna pick up on it and do it too.
Just as if feminine gays hang out with women all the time, they naturally pick up their speak and mannerisms
- Well, get a load of girlina at R81!
- R82 how come everytime I try to post an opinion on here the feminine gays always have something bitchy to say and go on the warpath.
Dude chill it's not high school amymore, I'm on your side. I'm just saying there's a lot if feminine gay men and there's some masculine gays out there ( but a lot are in the closet, which isn't so masculine).
I'm not saying I'm better than feminine gays, I'm just saying even gay men are different from one another.
What I find funny, from my own experience, is that feminine gay guys are the first ones to talk shit and say some mean stuff to or about masculine gays for NO REASON.
If it was reverse and the masculine gays started talking shit on the feminine gays we would be called self hating or bullies.
This is why masculine gay/bi guys stay in the closet they don't wanna deal with the bullshit from overtly sensitive feminine gays.
- R81 is so far off base it's not even funny. I grew up in a heavily athletic, male dominated family. You are really ignorant and really threatened by gay men who don't like the things you like. Part of being man is being confident and accepting of all people. They don't go around calling themselves "proud masculine gay" and putting others down in the process.
- I call my brother bro and that's it. I think it's ok to also use as a term of endearment for very close male friends. Everybody else is dude or man (but I don't use these terms). For a while "guy" was used too if I remember correctly.
- The effeminates is what causes people to hate gay men
- R84 I'm agreeing with you, I am accepting of all people and I never put down any of my gay brothers and sisters. I get all gay liberation if I hear people put down feminine gay guys, that's how they, they can't help it and THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT AND THEY SHOULD NEVER CHANGE FOR ANYBODY.
If I was single would I date one? No because I'm not attracted to that type of guy just like I would never date a woman again, because I'm not attracted to women.
And 2 of my best buds are feminine gays and they have my back and I have theirs.
What's wrong with using proud masculine gay, I'm proud to be masculine and gay, it's a beautiful thing and I would never change it. That's my gay pride.
- I thought gay men called each other "girlfriend."
- I call dudes bro, but then again I don't have any close gay male friends. I do have close bisexual male friends though.
- OP, because we gay men do not like to confuse our incest pleasures with tacky role play.
- R83 is right. This is also why I no longer hang out with other gay guys who are feminine. I dont have a problem with "hey girl" or "bitches" or whatever. It's the drama that seems to go along with that personality.
I dont know why they go hand in hand but they do. Always the ones trying to start fight, piss and moan about who did what with whom. Always needing to be center of attention.
The butcher gay guys do it somewhat, but not nearly as much. Sorry but it's true.
- R91, and I hope that you would call me mister, you're far to young and immature to call me anything else.
- "far to young"
- Saying "dude" and "bro" doesn't make you sound butch and masculine, it makes you sound like an immature douchebag. It has nothing to do being gay or straight. Are you older than 23? If so, you have no business talking as a semi-retarded fratboy.
- R94 why do you care if some gay men use words like dude or bro? You're right it doesn't, I even know women who use those words, but they're comfortable talking like that and they're just being themselves.
If it was a reverse situation and I went around saying feminine gays should stop talking with a lisp or using words like fabulous, adore, loathe or insufferable I'd be fucking ripped apart on this board. I'd be called self hating.
It's OK for the feminine, obvious gays with a chip on their shoulder to hate everybody, but if you're a masculine gay and you say ONE LITTLE THING that can be interpreted as negative against feminine gays you're ripped apart and flamed for it.
- I've heard gay men call each other faggot. It's sort of like nigga, I guess.
- R35 R81 I totally agree with you. Seriously wish there were a place online for people like us to meet and talk. (Before anyone says anything bitchy: I don't mean for sex or hook-ups). The thing is: if you're a guy who's gay and you identify with BEING A GUY you get attached by bitchy effeminate gays who want to be accepted for themselves, but have their own narrow view of what being gay means.
It's like this all over social media and I don't get it. Someone should start a private Facebook group. I'm just sick of feeling like I'm the "only one." If someone does-let me know.
- The rigid, oppressive and psychologically damaging world of strict gender roles that straight men like to enforce on themselves is something that we as gay men have been thankfully liberated from.
Gay men who choose to re-enter that world are like Jews who escaped Auschwitz only to return because they hate themselves that much.
- R98 you're exactly what's wrong with the gay rights movement. I'm not choosing to reenter some straight world I'm just being myself.
The definition of gay is a man that is attracted to other men.
It is not a man who acts like a woman and is attracted to men that act like women.
You're telling me that I'm conforming to gender rules, but by thinking all gay guys should be feminine you're conforming to gender rules and societal rules of hoe gay men should be.
You're doing nothing radical, you're actually fitting right into the stereotype.
When I see a hot guy on the street I think of 2 things, how great it would be to fuck them and if I could beat their ass in a fight.
- [quote]The definition of gay is a man that is attracted to other men.
There is much more to being queer than just being attracted to the same sex. There is an entire history and almost a collective consciousness.
When you are an "other" it forms a unique experience that only other gay people would ever know about. We might not all be the same in MANY ways but we have all known the trauma of growing up in a world that is hostile to something that is one of the core essences of every human being, which is our sexuality.
- r99 sounds hot.
- r101 sounds pathetic.
- R97 the fucked up thing is all these queeny gay guys who hate and are jealous of the masculine gays, would hook up with a masculine gay in a second, talk about being hypocrites.
And yet they claim masculine gay men are self hating. But you're a out feminine gay guy and you wouldn't even date other guys just like you, if that's not self hating I don't know what is.
I love myself, when I was single people always asked me what kind of guy I was into and I always answered somebody exactly like me because I'm awesome and I finally found him last year.
- I feel ya, bro
- "Bro" is what trailer trash and backwoods hicks call each other.
- r103, the same goes for the butches and lipstick lesbians. Femme gays can be some of the meanest, nastiest assholes ever!! same with bulldykes
- r99 NAILS IT!!! and r100 is a gender studies brain washed ass!!!
- "Proud Masculine Douche" is officially the troll of the thread.
- R106 exactly even if you're a masculine and you treat everyone with respect and you're cool with people, the femme gays are always ready to attack and talk shit for NO REASON.
And then they'll play victim if you confront them on it.
One of my straight bros said to me a couple of months ago that I probably never experience homophobia in public because unless I say something everyone assumes I'm straight, to which I replied that I have experienced ignorance from other gay men at gay bars, usually when the queeny guy would hit on me and I would turn them down, he just looked at me surprised
He thought that all gay men feminine and masculine stuck together, isn't that hilarious!
And it's always the queeny ones that start shit and make a scene, I don't even go to gay bars anymore, me and my boyfriend feel more comfortable in straight sports bars.
- R103, here you are again, *not* yapping about how masculine you are, because you're so masculine, you don't ever have to say it--we'll just *know*.
- R110, don't interrupt her! She's fierce! Oh and proud and masculine! Go Gurl!!!
- r109, if you're so "comfortable in straight sports bars," why are you posting on Datalounge instead of watching the Stupor Bowl?
Proud? Maybe. Masculine? I don't fucking think so, bro.
- Here's R99 and R103 in action. So fuckin' hot.
- R112 I am watching the SuperBowl in a sports bar and posting on my phone, during halftime (which I give 2 shits about) I was posting more.
For the record I'm a huge Cowboys fan, but I want the Ravens to win, because the 49ers are tied with the Cowboys for the NFC team with the most Superbowl rings, they both have 5, if the 49ers win, which thankfully doesn't seem likely, thay POS shit team that. Was only semi decent during their 90s Steve Young era will over take the Cowboys as the NFC team with the most Superbowls.
The Pittsburgh Steelers, an AFC team, has the most Superbowl wins I'm general with 6.
Dude I fucking hate Pittsburgh teams, don't get me started on the Penguins and my hatred for Crosby and Malkin.
That's a hockey team, by the way.
- The proud masculine gay lady doth protest too much, methinks.
- R112, don't bother, she is a complete mess! She's probably bottoming for her "bros" in the restroom of the local sports bar.
- I live in Pgh. I know who Crosby and Malkin are. I am so glad the Steelers aren't in the Stupor Bowl.
- R99 and R103 make me so damn hawt, I posted their link incorrectly.
- R115 the question is why do you have such a problem with me being masculine and proudly openly gay?
I have no problem with feminine gays, I only have a problem with ignorant, annoying, bitter, catty queens who always got something to say.
And their is a difference between a gay dude who's naturally femnine vs. A gay dude who's a bitter queen.
- The proud, the masculine, the gay, had this to say:
[quote]I have no problem with feminine gays
[quote]I have experienced ignorance from other gay men at gay bars, usually when the queeny guy would hit on me and I would turn them down, he just looked at me surprised. He thought that all gay men feminine and masculine stuck together, isn't that hilarious! And it's always the queeny ones that start shit and make a scene.
Well, which is it mascudouche?
- R117 you live in Pittsburgh but you don't root for the Steelers? How come? Are you a penguins fan? They're doing a lot better than the Flyers, I still think they should be moved out of the Flyers conference division. It sucks that the NHL is only playing 48 games this year because od the strike as opposed to the usual 48.
Flyers forward Rinaldo had an awesome fight Friday night, that never happens at the Flyers games I go to.
- R103/R109 and R106 I'd be proud to have you call me "bro."
- Because sports are retarded, especially in Pgh, where most people think there's nothing else to do.
- R120 I also said there is a HUGE difference between a naturally feminine gay guy and a mean bitter queen.
One of my good friends is feminine and I love the kid like a brother and if anybody would ever fuck with him in public I would knuckle up for him in a second, but I'm pretty sure he could take care of himself.
- This is R121 I meant to say the usual 82 games the NHL plays.
- R124, you need to refine your position on feminine gay guys, and leave the "author" box blank until you do.
- I like PMG. I'm not into sports at all but we need more guys like him to break the stereotype about gays.
My 2 cents
- Sports are my life, I'm kinda of obsessed actually.
I played baseball all through high school and still play recreationally from time to time.
Since I live in Philly and I'm a Cowboys fan, I've got into some fights over it when drunk, not exactly something to be proud of.
And I don't think liking sports and being athletic makes you masculine, so don't even start that.
- who cares?
- [quote] you live in Pittsburgh but you don't root for the Steelers? How come?
I'm not R117 but I am from there, and just can't give a rat's ass about any organized sport.
Pittsburgh is a town where if you say "I don't watch [fill in sport name]" when you're asked, you'll be called a faggot right to your face. Five or so years ago a guy was killed when he said he didn't watch football.
- [quote]Five or so years ago a guy was killed when he said he didn't watch football.
Really, R130? I never heard about that. Not that I'm disagreeing with you in any way; if something like that's going to happen, Pgh is the perfect place for it. But I'd not heard about it before.
- r123, uh, the people are right.
- Online, guys use "dude" and "bro" to show they are masculine and to test the bona fides of guys who claim they are masculine. Using "dude" and "bro" connotes masculinity, mainstream proclivities. The theory is that non-masculine guys do not use "dude" or "bro." I think the theory is correct.
- I call guys "bro" without regard to sexual orientation. However, almost all my close friends are heterosexual dudes. Even women call each other dude these days.
- Don't you kids have algebra homework to work on? Or trying to sneak into a liquor store with a fake ID?
- Let me guess, R42. You're *not* "proud masculine gay" from yesterday (2/3/13), who doesn't need to post about how proud, masculine, and gay he is, because it's so obvious, everyone will just see it instantly, so he doesn't need to say it, and say it, and say it, and say it.
You're *not* that guy, right?
- Bro is sort like the password to American dude culture. Membership has its privileges. For bi and gay guys, it is sort of the litmus test for gauging masculinity. It is a way of indirectly communicating that you are truly masculine.
- Even my two straight male friends don't call other guys "dude" or "bro," as both think it is the mark of a douche to do so. They prefer to call people by their names.
- Yeah. Not much in the world is douchier than calling someone "Broseph."
- r138, you are uptight and socially awkward. I would not expect your straight friends to be any different.
- My mommy says, when it comes to friendship, it's not what you call, but that you call at all.
- They say: Bros before hoes.
For us, the bros are the hoes.
- Op what a sweet thought you made!
Cute lil bear!
- R139, I feel you son!
- There are two types of femme guys:
1) The natural ones. They are femme, they are proud, but they aren't bitches.
2) The bitchy ones. They are out of HS but they tend to live in gay ghettoes where they can recreate their HS experience except this time they are part of the popular and mean in-crowd. They are self-loathing and have a love/hate relationship with masculine gays.
There are two types of masculine guys:
1) The natural ones. They tend to like more traditionally masculine activities, and are generally assumed to be straight.
2) The "straight-acting" closeted ones. They are so insecure they are constantly worried about how they're perceived. They claim to be men but act like insecure girls when it comes owning up to who they are. They are self-loathing and have a love/hate relationship with femme gays.
- I actually call other gay men "Sis," and am thus the only person in the world who uses this word other than male child actors on commercials (so that familial relationships can be quickly established for the viewer).
- From another thread
So apparently some do.
- [quote]by: proud masculine gay
- Because its fucking stupid, OP.
And because we don't need to use euphemisms to hide our feelings for other men. We're a little more evolved than that, thankfully.
- We prefer to use more appropriate greetings such as: "girl", "Miss Thing", "Miss Woman", or "Mary"
- r149, who are the "we" you refer to. I have a feeling a lot of bisexual and gay men don't identify with you and your mannerisms as much as you claim they do.
- Proud masculine gay, I like you better as "the manly troll" from the thread questioning youngsters who come out as fad indicators.
Choose a handle and stick to it.
Flipping names - not very manly :)
- I don't think DL males are representative of most modern bi, gay, and bicurious guys. Guys here skew heavily toward stereotypical big city gay culture types. They are the most detached males from mainstream male culture, whereas other same-sex interested guys tend to be more integrated into predominant male culture.
- [quote] I don't think DL males are representative of most modern bi, gay, and bicurious guys. Guys here skew heavily toward stereotypical big city gay culture types. They are the most detached males from mainstream male culture, whereas other same-sex interested guys tend to be more integrated into predominant male culture.
Oh, I remember when I had my first beer with some straight guys. Now that you've got it all figured out, R153, the world is your bisexual playground.
- Totally bro
- "Bro" is reserved for us straight bros.
- A classic DL question for the ages...
Generous mushroom head. Dealbreaker?
Dear Straight Dude: I’m a Gay Dude in Love With a Straight Boy
May. 5, 2011
By Brandon Scott Gorrell info
Dear Straight Dude,
Sooo, I know this has happened once or twice to ME and I’m kind of curious as to what it’s like on the other side. What’s it like for a straight dude who has a gay friend that’s in love with him? As a gay man in Texas (not a ton of homos down here), I’ve fallen in love with two straight guys. It was embarrassing, awkward and just downright weird for me. I couldn’t help myself around him. I flirted unconsciously, touched his arms and chest way more than I should have and wanted to be around him even when I was the third wheel. Looking back, I’m a little mortified by my actions and I can’t help but wonder what it was like for him. Can you help a homo brother out?
In Love With a Woman-Lover
Dear In Love With a Woman-Lover,
I hear you, and it’s okay. Your situation isn’t all that uncommon, and I know some gay bros that only seem to fall for straight guys. But how’s it feel to us straight dudes? I will try to explain.
First, the situation is not necessarily bad (like, friendship-ending bad), especially if the straight guy in question is a chill bro. Having someone fawn over you is always flattering, whether or not said person is a romantic interest.
However, if mishandled, the situation could turn against you – and the friendship. If the guy you’re crushing on is perceptive, he’ll likely know that you’re into him, and every flirtatious move you make – whether conscious or not – will probably be noticed and interpreted as a reinforcement of your crush on him. This can definitely get old, fast (it’s uncommon for anyone to enjoy constant reminders that someone who they’re not into wants to bone them) and if you’re not careful, you may risk a future program of avoidance. Specifically, you run the risk of creating a sort of baseline level of discomfort for your friend whenever you two are broing down, and you also run the risk of ‘forcing’ him to create little behaviors that will successfully mitigate all your innocent little advances. Know what I mean?
That’s not to say that your attraction is wrong or malicious or whatever. It isn’t even to say that he doesn’t appreciate it or find it endearing (or even understandable) on some level. After all, you two are friends, and friends share a wavelength that they both access whilst interacting with each other. It’s just that, if you give your friend any type of social intelligence credit, you gotta assume he knows what’s up, and if he’s not interested, well – who likes having to turn someone down all the time?
Anyways, stay good, gay bro. Hope Texas is treating you well.
Straight Dude TC mark
- [quote]When I see a hot guy on the street I think of 2 things, how great it would be to fuck them and if I could beat their ass in a fight.
1. \tgaybro \t21 up, 1 down
A gay man who acts masculine and is interested in guy stuff like sports, video games, military issues, grilling, knives, gear, working out, gadgets, tech, etc...
Popularized by the subreddit of the same name.
Guy1: Hey, I heard that guy is gay but he doesn't act feminine.
Guy2: Yeah he's a gaybro.
2. \tgaybro \t21 up, 36 down
Young masculine homosexual males who exhibit no effeminate characteristics or interests and make a point of going on about how 'normal' they are. Previously they would have refered to themselves as straight acting but that's so 2005. Gaybros have no gay friends because they can't relate to other gay people. This is something else they insist on telling everyone.
Misc gay brahs get in here. srs
how do u control erections at the gym?
- These gaybros appear to be single for life seeing how they don't hang out with gay people. Is that true gaybros? Do you guys stay single for life? Any older gaybro's out there? Elderbros? You guys lonely and single blaming everybody but the bro in the mirror for your loneliness?
- R158 "There are no posts tagged “gay bros” "
- "I'm starting with the bro in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways."
- Do black dudes say "bro," or do they just say "bruh?"
- Bro, Brutha, Gurl, sista, Girlfriend, Nigga ... interesting they all start in the black community and even more interesting I've heard white people use each and everyone of them, including the last one.
- The newer but not new phrase that dudes use now a lot is "boss." I love it when a thuggish muscular dude in the gym says, "Hey boss, I need you to spot me."
- I can't be the only who's curious as to what PMG looks like.
- Like this, probably, R169
- R167 and I hear black people use the N word all the time. CONSTANTLY
- Your point, r171?
- When did women start calling other women dudes? I still can't get over it when I hear it. It's like she will say, "Dude, you gonna go shopping with me tomorrow."
- R172 my point is I've heard white people use the N word in front of me twice in my life, I've heard black people use more than twice a day on average.
I take public transportation and hear it CONSTANTLY.
THAT IS MY POINT
- Because it is too confusing to say bros before bros when prioritizing relationship issues.
- What's with all this "Mary" stuff? In my neck of the woods it's "Helen" . . . as in "Helen, get your head out of your ass and bring me my martini!" Mary? Hell, that's just embarrassing. Straight people will think you're praying.
- Any elderbros in relationships for 30 + years? Just curious.
- "Bro, Brutha, Gurl, sista, Girlfriend, Nigga ... interesting they all start in the black community.."
How could they? They are European words that go back way before African Americans were speaking English.
- I do!
- How do gaybros celebrate valentines?
- We don't call each other bro because we call each other Sister. Or Miss thing. Or gurrrrl.
- The Bro Movement sure is huge and growing. I hear 50-something dudes calling guys "bro" these days. Even women.
- "Boss" is the new cool, hip word.
- \tbro job \t384 up, 63 down
Oral sex between two allegedly heterosexual male friends, particular when said friends are wasted. Abbrev: brohj
"So are you, like, gay now that Ernie sucked your wang?"
"No! It was totally just a bro job. I loves the ladies."
- Meet the Gaybros
They like sports, hunting, and beer. They make the gay community mad.
By J. Bryan Lowder|Posted Wednesday, March 20, 2013, at 5:45 AM
t’s a snowy Saturday night in Boston, and the bros are moving in pack formation. As we trudge through the fresh powder toward South End, the 10 or so guys I’m walking with jostle and joke their way forward through the frigid air, bouncing with that particular surge of giddy energy you sometimes get when you’re hanging out with people you have never met in real life.
As members of Gaybros—Reddit-based community for gay guys with traditionally manly interests like sports, hunting, and beer—the large majority of their bonding takes place through comment threads under topics like “Ron Swanson vs. James Bond” and “My Gay Card Has Been Revoked.” But in cities like Boston, New York, L.A., Toronto, and even London, they try to regularly “meet-up” at a local restaurant or bar, exchanging Reddit’s upvotes and downvotes for proper handshakes and side-hugs. These “IRL” encounters can, understandably, feel awkward at first, as this one did when we had all gathered for dinner earlier in the evening at a crowded Italian cafeteria. Much of the conversation revolved around how the so-called bartender had asked if seltzer was a spirit. But bros being bros, the group made the best of their over-salted pasta and soda-fountain tap water, and we were quickly on our way to a more dependable source of alcohol.
“Where are we going again?” I ask, dodging drifts and shivering from under-preparedness. “To Fritz!” someone I’m too cold to look toward explains, referencing the city’s premiere gay sports bar. Once past the middle-aged bouncer’s baritone “evening, gentlemen,” I could see why. If the Gaybro’s mission statement is “a place for guys to get together and talk about, well, guy stuff. Sports, video games, military issues, grilling, gear, working out, gadgets, tech, TV, movies, and more,” Fritz is their ideal arena. The decor is classic pub, all dark woods and vintage trophies, but with a decidedly gay twist: Look even briefly at the house-made baseball and football player posters decorating the walls, and more than sportsmanlike appreciation for the athletic male form quickly becomes apparent.
rom my perch by the corner coat pile, I survey the scene: Gay men of an impressive range of age, race, attractiveness, body type, and ball-cap embroidery shake hands and strike up conversations. There’s a sweet couple in front of me: One’s sporty, the tight-fitting navy cotton of his Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirt coordinating well with his olive-tinted biceps; the other is channeling New England WASP, skinny and buttoned-up, with pragmatically framed glasses. Farther down the table, a larger guy laughs loudly at something a twinky type said, and later, a very cute boy, possibly Arab, draws eyes as he pulls up a chair. He has brought along a solidly built and more maturely handsome AIDS researcher with whom I spend a considerable amount of time discussing the decline of gay social spaces like the one we’re in.
Given that the few gay spaces that do remain are almost always segregated by race, age, and sexual type (twink, bear, leather, etc.), the diversity on display among the bros was remarkable. Also worthy of note was the lack of excessive cruisiness within the group; though gay men almost never stop flirting entirely, this was clearly not, as multiple bros would tell me, a “dating service.” However, that’s not to say the evening was entirely PG. After the first round had been drained, I overhear my friend Jake—who I only found out was a Gaybro sympathizer after starting in on this story and whose husband, Tim Karu, is one of the group’s moderators—respond saucily to a comment about football players’ jock straps: “Now that’s a game I could get into!”
Around 10:30, the bros finish off their drinks and migrate yet again, this time dominating a whole stretch of sidewalk, to a place with the forthright name Club Café. The entitled New Yorker in me balked at the cover-charge, and, in any case, the aggregate level of tipsiness hinted that it might be time to let the crew have its fun unsurveilled. Plus, I thought I’d earned a break from pressure of all those firm handshakes: The couple I was crashing with had invited me to a gay house party promising more familiar accoutrements like crudités and Robyn music, so I Google-mapped my way across Boston from bro to ‘mo. When I slipped into the handsome and rhythmically thudding townhome, young professionals in J. Crew boots like mine matched my gaze. Not a “masc” guy in sight.
But as I glanced around at the Crate & Barrel brand of gayness on display in this open-concept, Hindu deity-studded living room, I felt, not relief, but a twinge of doubt. The guys I had just left would clearly not fit in here—but was that their loss or ours?
“You need to start using brah in conversation.”
So read an instant message from a colleague when he learned that I was going to be chilling with the Gaybros. I grimaced; the mere sight of the word in the chat box elicited a kind of gag reflex in my throat, not to mention my soul. Actually saying it—or dude, or man, or, God forbid, buddy—and not imploding under the pressure of masculine performance ineptitude seemed, well, impossible. My interlocutor was mostly joking, of course, but the kernel of truth hit home: I was probably going to have to butch-up my vocabulary a bit if I wanted to hang with, much less hope to understand, a group of fellow gay men who would willingly call themselves “bros.”
When you look up the term Gaybro on Urban Dictionary, two extremely telling definitions appear. The first—“a gay man who acts masculine and is interested in guy stuff like sports, video games, military issues, grilling, knives, gear, working out, gadgets, tech, etc ...”—seems to have been lifted from the Gaybros mission statement. The second is less neutral: “Young masculine homosexual males who exhibit no effeminate characteristics or interests and make a point of going on about how 'normal' they are. Previously they would have referred to themselves as straight-acting but that's so 2005. Gaybros have no gay friends because they can't relate to other gay people. This is something else they insist on telling everyone.
- Meet the Gaybros
They like sports, hunting, and beer. They make the gay community mad.
By J. Bryan Lowder|Posted Wednesday, March 20, 2013, at 5:45 AM
(Continued from Page 1)
Before meeting the Gaybros, the second definition was the only one I knew, and I am not at all alone. Many gays I’ve spoken with share a visceral and somewhat histrionic revulsion toward the very idea of Gaybrodom that, ironically, is not dissimilar to the reaction many straights have to gays before they know one. When Buzzfeed interviewed the group’s founder, Alex Deluca, on the occasion of their one-year anniversary this past January, the comments section immediately filled with screeds about “masculine privilege” and “femmephobia” within the gay community. (I may have scrawled something to this effect on Facebook myself the day the story broke.)
Deluca, 23, spoke in the Q-and-A about his dismay at encountering a “very narrow definition of what it means to be gay” in mainstream culture, one that apparently doesn’t make room for guys with interests like “video games, paintball, and sports.” “I created Gaybros to provide a space for these guys,” he said. “[A place for them] to gather and talk about shared interests and to break down stereotypes and promote the idea that you could be a gay man and still be exactly who you've always been.”
Eli Fox, a commenter from New Orleans, captured the general complaint of those who took issue with Deluca’s treating the gay “stereotype” like an unwanted cardboard box: “This is such bullshit and just perpetuates the idea that femininity is fake or that people put it on […] He makes it sound like masculine gay guys are somehow OPPRESSED. No, they're the most desired, because masculine traits are prized in the gay male community just like practically every other social group […] Masc guys aren't the ones who need to spend time promoting some agenda of masculinity and "regular guy" culture crap. Society has already done that for them.”
- Calling each other bro is so fake.Even more so when gays do it.
Bro. Buddy. Man. Dude.
- r191, you are dude who uses the word "Cringefest." you have no right to criticize the masses for the popular use of an innocuous male bonding term like "bro."
- A recent article on Slate.com about a Reddit subgroup known as "Gaybros" inspired the above conversation on HuffPost Live.
Urban Dictionary defines a Gaybro as:
"A gay man who acts masculine and is interested in guy stuff like sports, video games, military issues, grilling, knives, gear, working out, gadgets, tech, etc…"
"Young masculine homosexual males who exhibit no effeminate characteristics or interests and make a point of going on about how 'normal' they are. Previously they would have refered to themselves as straight acting but that's so 2005. Gaybros have no gay friends because they can't relate to other gay people. This is something else they insist on telling everyone."
HuffPost Live invited the founder, Alex Deluca, as well as Tim Karu, a moderator of the Gaybros subreddit, to chat with HuffPost Live host Ahmed Shihab-Eldin, HuffPost Live Producer Mitchell Williams and HuffPost Gay Voices Editor Noah Michelson about the controversial Reddit group.
In the clip above, Williams and Michelson discuss why they find the idea of the Gaybros movement somewhat troubling.
What do you think about Gaybros? Watch the clip above, see the full segment here and sound off in the comments section below.
Check out the full segment here.
- BiBros Rock!
- When did "Dude" make such a big comeback in culture? Every other word today is "dude" this, "dude" that.
- Bros chillin
- because they call each other "GIRL!" gay men don't wanna be reminded that they are men. They want to fantasize about being a woman.
- [quote]They want to fantasize about being a woman.
Speak for yourself.
- I hear gay men use it, and sometimes I use it. I think it depends on your background. If it is a word you heard a lot growing up, or was something you and your friends used while growing up, then it stands a better chance creeping into to your lexicon.
- [quote]Gay men who choose to re-enter that world are like [bold]Jews who escaped Auschwitz only to return[/bold] because they hate themselves that much.
Jews returned to Auschwitz because they hated themselves? AYFKM?
You'd better take your brain in for a refund. What a terrible analogy.
- A well placed "gurrl" in conversation is way more useful than "bro". In can be used as a reaction, or you can address someone as such. You can do more with it than "bro".
- Bro has its utility. It lets a male friend or acquaintance know that you are friendly towards him or even affectionate. My friends and I us it to connote that we have a fraternal bond that is not mere situational friendship but something akin to a familial bond. With acquaintance, it can communicate friendliness without being corny or girly. It definitely tends to make dudes more fraternal toward each other.
- Bros before noes.
- Because most gay men are white and don't speak jive.
- Because most gay men aren't a bunch of adolescent, straight boy wannabes.
- Most of the straight men I know don't use bro so why should I.
- R208 Do you and your friends also not know when to use a question mark?
- r206, in case you slept through the last 20 years, most young white dudes speak hip hop and urban today. Hip Hop predominates mainstream youth culture, from fashion to speech, urban, suburban, and rural. Moreover, "bro" is not a jibe term, it is more of a hip male term regardless of race.
- A lot of bisexual and gay dudes use the term "BRO." It's just that the type of stereotypical gay guys mostly represented at DL are far removed and isolated from the type of guys that use the term, including the type of bi and gay dudes that use the term. DL is not indicative of your average gay or bi male today, but reflects a certain stereotypical subculture of gay men.
- In once saw a forum on the Michigan Womyns Music Festival for dyslexic lesbians , in which they did refer to each other as "Bro".
However they constantly jumbled the letters and kept calling each other "Orb" which I found quite amusing and very apropos.
- [quote] Moreover, "bro" is not a jibe term, it is more of a hip male term regardless of race.
Where? In suburban Omaha?
- Urbandictionary: bro
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\t1017 up, 817 down
ussually white guys, with lifted trucks. listen to the newest rap, hardcore, rock.
example- KMK, Disturbed, lil' john etc.
-wear hates at an angle with the visor part fliped up. sometimes have a sign or symbol on it.
-wear skin and no fear shirts.
-jerseys, bandannas, or no shirt at all.
-generaly dress in all black.
-wear big rings, have plugs.
-ussualy seen in the OC, Califronia area.
-use the west side sign more often then needed.
-ussualy seen with black spiked hair.
-into metal mulisha
-kind of in to them selfs
dirt bikes. smoking. drinking. weed. girls.
they dont really care about much. they Normally want to start something or get into a fight. puff there chest up to look bigger and/or tougher.
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329 up, 227 down
18-25 year old white upper middle class males who attend universities, and are usually members of fraternities. During free time they enjoy playing sports such as ultimate frisbee, lacross, flag football, fishing, and beach volleyball. They are knowledgeable about most spectator sports and attend sporting events regularly. Bros are often actively envolved in fantasy football, and will form leagues with other bros. They enjoy attending suburban house parties and frat parties, and are skilled at most drinking games. They also have a fairly refined taste for good beer, and can afford to drink it more often than others their age, but still must resort to cheap beer at times. Bros enjoy the presence of attractive women, but are also content with simply "broing out". Favorite clothing brands include polo, vinyard vines, jcrew, and lacoste. Shorts include brightly colored, madras, crittered, seer-suckers and the classic khakis. Footwear comprises mostly of sperry topsiders, flip flops, and asics runners. Hats with pre-frayed brims are popular, as are Costa Del Mar sunglasses with crokies. Bro bands include Dave Matthews, OAR, Incubus, Jack Johnson, Dispatch, and Sister Hazel. Bros drive SUVs and trucks, and contrary to popular belief, do not always lift them, and when they do, the lift rarely exceeds 4 inches. Upper-end colleges in the South contain the most bros. These schools include Vanderbilt, University of Virginia, Southern Methodist University, and Duke. Mos...
- Bros for Life
- From an old 70's classic:
Your daddy ain't my daddy,
and your momma ain't my momma,
So don't be callin' me bro.
- The 70's are way over.
- Well smell you, #211. You'd better log off- there's FAGITS in here!
- [quote]A lot of bisexual and gay dudes use the term "BRO." It's just that the type of stereotypical gay guys mostly represented at DL are far removed and isolated from the type of guys that use the term, including the type of bi and gay dudes that use the term. DL is not indicative of your average gay or bi male today, but reflects a certain stereotypical subculture of gay men.
You are correct, except that the prissy (borderline tranny actually) types that screech on DL are a tiny tiny tiny subculture among actual homosexuals. Their screeches in this thread show how deeply the truth of their marginalization hurts them.
- We are living in the age of the ascendancy of the mainstream masculine bi and gay. With gay and bi male athletes coming into the public consciousness, old notions of gay identity are receding.
- Love to see so many prominent athletes referring to Jason Collins as their "bro." Very powerful.
Jiraiya Sensei @WrightByHisSide 26m
I just hate how gay dudes can't just be "normal"... Play the game, drink, just do normal dude shit, help me move some furniture... Lhh
- I have called my gay buddies "Bro" and "Dude" for decades.
- gay guys call each other that all the time. It's just the barely male borderline trannies that dislike the term. Go ahead and get a sex change. You know you want it.
- [quote]With acquaintance, it can communicate friendliness without being corny or girly. It definitely tends to make dudes more fraternal toward each other.
Sorry, but it's corny. And people who don't use it ironically might think it sounds like a term of endearment, but to everyone else it's a flag that you're dealing with a self-important douche-bag.
- [quote]but to everyone else it's a flag that you're dealing with a self-important douche-bag.
Speak for yourself. Clearly not everyone else thinks that.
That being said, what do we call someone who believes everyone has the same opinion he has?
- What -- isn't "bitch" endearing enough for you OP?
- [quote]That being said, what do we call someone who believes everyone has the same opinion he has?
I know! A self-important douche-bag. Or, the shorter answer, R226.
- Because gay men want to fuck each other.
- r230, if the internet and adult videos are any indication, gay men want to bang straight dudes, not gay dudes.
- "if the internet and adult videos are any indication,"
Because, when you must have the absolute truth and definitive answer on something, pron and the internet are always the best place to look.
- They are moving from bro to brah to bruh
- In 2013, the internet and porn are indeed critical to culture.
- The internet is where people feel free to say and do what they really feel.
In this case, no, they don't want to fuck heterosexual guys. "Straight" is just code in the hookup and porn world. The word "gay" has been so demonized that in the minds of some, it just means effeminite. That of course seems to be the mission of DL - to link effeminacy with homosexuality. Of course actual homosexuals want nothing to do with it, so they're just using other words to indicate that they want natural unaffected guys.
- "The internet is where people feel free to say and do what they really feel."
The internet is where people feel free to post complete utter bullshit about themselves because they know no one will call them on it. To wit, the football player build = morbidly obese, 9 inch cock = tiny meat, masculine, straight-acting = nelly queen.
"The word "gay" has been so demonized that in the minds of some..."
Jason Collins, the baller, described himself as gay. Robbie Rogers, the soccer player, described himself as gay. If its good enough for them, it should be good enough for idiot demonizing the word gay.
What pro sports do you and your "bros" play, R236?
- I get 'bro' used on me a lot (or 'boss' when I have a beard).
gay men have all kinds of stupid terms for each other, so what? why not own our queerity?
the internet and pr0n have too much priority and influence. they are not critical or even necessary, people lead wonderful lives without and in spite of the internet and pr0n.
as far as 'culture', Daniel Harris wrote a brilliant book in the 90's called 'The Rise and Fall of Gay Culture', it's a great starting point for looking at where we are headed.
below is a link to a review critical of Harris's book.
- r237 is a perfect example of what r236 was talking about with the "mission" of many on datalounge.
- r237, Collins is talking to the media, not out hooking up. You idiot.
- "Bro" is part of not just jock culture, but mainstream male culture. The word is used copiously, even by women.
- I hear "Buddy" a lot, too.
- You silly rabbits!
- Does anyone get tired of being called "man" all the time by gay men? Like they trying to appear masc or straight with "Hey man, yeah man, whats up man?" I sometimes be thinking,"please stop we all know you gay so why are you trying to front you aren't?"
- I imagine they don't want to be perceived as douchebags.
- R240, unless you know Collins personally, quit pulling shit out of your prolapsed, gaping asshole and STFU you douchebag moron.
- After being called Blanche all these years, if a guy called me Bro I wouldn't know who he was talking to. Besides, at 6'5" Blanche always makes others giggle a little.
- [quote]Does anyone get tired of being called "man" all the time by gay men? Like they trying to appear masc or straight with "Hey man, yeah man, whats up man?"
No, we get tired of people like you with your agenda.
- What is going on with the loon at r246? Who can argue that Collins wasn't speaking to the media?
- The term used here in WEHO is broho.
- Girl sounds nicer.
- Take it to a lesbian board r251.
- DL has a disproportionate number of stereotypical gay men, so it stands to reason that they would hold to archaic notions of what it means to be a gay men. They especially have no notion about bisexual dudes.
- And you know this how, R253? How do you even begin to insinuate you know the demographics of an anonymous internet message board much less their private thoughts, opinions, attitudes, etc.
And why, as a gay person, posting on a site that advertises itself as being for gay people would I or anyone else, have any notion about bisexual dudes? Why would we care about bisexuals? Why should we care about bisexuals? Why don't bisexuals get their own message board?
I call my sexy bad boy husband Bro and Boy and Baby. He is black. I am the one on top and deep inside of that fat ass. He is my boy, but I am what ever he wants to call me too. What is wrong with that?
- A lot of black dudes call other bros "baby boy" as a term of affection. For instance, a friend of mine will be like "wassup baby boy." I think it is very cool.
- A white person calling a black dude "boy" is problematic and inadvisable.
You are neither black or getting laid...R257
I would call my lover "boy" at times regardless of his colour. I am obnoxious and hot in that way. He loves me and loves being called names.
In our case it is more than advisable. I call him babe more often, and he calls me names I cannot report to your sensitive ears.
I can't advise it, but I can't take away my love and big cock from my boy either. It is not problematic for us so far. 10 years.
- r258, I am Black, and you are a jerk who uses a black "boyfriend" as a pretext for your racially insensitive tendencies.
I honestly would not want to offend. I do have a black boyfriend and we are married too. Baby boy is not the worst thing that a man can be called....
We are Canadians and don`t have quite the despicable history of the United States. We have fun dude.
I realize that nothing I say could make you feel better, but I have no racial in-sensitivities that I know of.
My partner and I both have a realistic approach to life and love. I get that my statements were brazen and bragging - that is my style. He calls me names too. I get it back in spades.
- the dipshit at r257/r259 should not be appeased.
- alrighty then, r260
- Because they don't want to sound like douchebag str8 frat boys from the days when A&F's Quarterly came four times a year.
- Do any feminine men use the word "bro?" I don't think I have ever witnessed that.
- You don't hear effem dudes use the word "bro." Almost never.
- Bi dudes say "bro" as much as hetero dudes.
- I hate it that fem gay men tend to hijack gay identity to reflect their interests and mannerisms.
- Meh. I'm pretty accommodating. If someone wanted me to call them "bro," they'd only need to ask.
I'd think them very odd though.
- "Bro" is used so widespreadly and promiscuously today, why would anyone even bat an eye when it is used? It is used all over the place.
- This Is the End' is the bro-pocalypse movie Millennials need
POSTED: Thursday, June 13, 2013, 3:56 PM
This film publicity image released by Columbia Pictures shows, from left, James Franco, Seth Rogen and Jay Baruchel in a scene from "This Is The End."
This week, This Is the End picks up the looming bro-pocalypse barreling toward the present and drops it in James Franco's backyard, creating a sinkhole large enough to swallow parts of Hollywood and the careers it props up.
Jay Baruchel is crashing with Seth Rogen for a few nights during a stint in Los Angeles. After an obligatory bro greeting and subsequent afternoon squandered smoking themselves into comas and playing video games until their thumbs (and eyes) bleed, the pair heads over to James Franco's new mansion for a lavish Hollywood blow out. Craig Robinson, Jonah Hill, Danny McBride, Rihanna, Michael Cera, Emma Watson, Mindy Kaling and pretty much everyone who's anyone is there, partaking in the abuse of various self-prescribed medications.
When Baruchel gets pissed and tries to bail and go back to Rogen's, the biblical apocalypse begins. The Hollywood Hills are on fire and the earth opens up and swallows a slew of Franco's famous friends. Thus, Franco, Rogen, Baruchel, Hill, Robinson and McBride are left to survive the remainder of the apocalypse together in the mansion, each playing a caricature of their Hollywood personas.
James Franco's the uppity A-lister who collects props from his own movies and is creepily obsessed with impressing Seth Rogen. Jonah Hill is overly nice to the point that you can't tell whether or not he's beeing an a**hole. Danny McBride is basically just playing his character from Eastbound and Down. Baruchel's a little awkward and feels like he doesn't fit in with the rest of the crew.
The rest of the film follows the group of guys as they struggle to survive the elements without succumbing to damnation or killing each other in the process. It's full of everything Millennials love in their comedies: heinous language, friends making fun of each other, surprise cameos, awesome pop songs from the '90s, instances of Hollywood making fun of itself, and all of their favorite comedy stars playing off each other in an ad lib-style competition to see who can be the foulest/funniest (as if there's a real distinction).
It's the perfect summer comedy for people who know all the words to LFO's "Summer Girls" and could have earned a minor in Watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall Hungover While Shoveling Doritos Into Your Face, had their universities offered it as a specialization.
And along with This Is The End's obligatory jokes about ejaculate and drinking your own urine comes an adept analysis of Millennial culture and an enlightened interpretation of modern male group dynamics. For an entire generation, early adolescence is just a blur of group sleepovers fueled by Mortal Kombat, Mountain Dew, Adam Sandler movies, and Internet porn. The main act of This Is the End is, essentially, the same, except the guys have swapped the Mountain Dew for booze and the power is out, so they've got to resort to an old-fashioned nudie mag for the adult entertainment.
Thanks to the video camera from 127 Hours that Franco has as a keepsake, the guys in the movie are able to film themselves surviving the apocalypse to show the true story of six friends (sorta) forced to live in a house, work together, and have their lives taped to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start being real.
They use sarcasm and false bravado to mask their own insecurities and concerns. They're as jealous, petty, defensive, and irritable as a gaggle of hormonal tweens. At a sixth grade sleepover, kids are worried about not fitting in and letting their parents down and accidentally saying something stupid if they ever actually spoke to a real girl. In This Is the End, the guys are afraid of eternal damnation by way of a seven-headed demon brought about by the biblical apocalypse. So, basicthe same thing.
For all of the juvenile parallels between This Is The End and that time everyone got all hopped up on Mountain Dew at Bobby's 12th birthday party and played Frank Thomas' Big Hurt Baseball until I finally passed out at 5:30 a.m. and someone put an ice cube in my ear, the film also includes a very real depiction of what it's like to transition from adolescence to adulthood. It demonstrates that, in certain situations and with a particular group dynamic, it people to revert to old versions of themselves very easily. The social struggle within the group is palpable and the fallout of being in such close quarters with such close friends resonates for anyone who's ever vacationed with friends. But, mostly, This Is the End is just wildly inappropriate and hilarious.
On a scale of Strange Wilderness to Forgetting Sarah Marshall, This Is the End is an 8.5. Go for the d*** jokes, stay for the faux-ironic '90s nostalgia and male gaze commentary.
- Nobody uses "bro". It's an exaggerated Hollywood myth that you bitches are all falling for.
- The Surprising Nuances of 'Bro'
Men, when feeling a level of closeness or kinship, will often times call each other "brother." It's nice. It's a term of endearment. It demonstrates how we are all a part of the family of humanity. It also happens to be mega unchill and thusly "bro" was born. Not weighed down by that pesky, formal second syllable, "bro" was able to float freely across college campuses and into frat houses everywhere. It's ventured from Silicon Valley to Wall Street — sea to shining sea — so that dudes could go from simple boys to brogrammers and stock brokers.
But then bro innovators (inbrovators?) realized they could push "bro" farther and make it even more laid back. "Stop saying the 'oh' sound," one said to another, probably at a Phish show. "Say 'bruh' instead. Your mouth has to work, like, half as hard." This was the greatest development in the casual lifestyle since the first ultimate frisbee player realized that you could wear a visor both backwards and upside-down. The world would never be the same again.
Sadly, all is not chill in the world of bruhs. Recently, the OED legitimized the bruh existence by adding the word to their online dictionary, only get this — the OED spells it "bra." Huh?
This sparked a debate amongst the Jezebel staff this morning. Some people thought it should be spelled "brah," others (me) felt an "uh" closer was more appropriate. The one thing we could all agree on was that "bra" was definitely wrong. Then the conversation, much like the word "bro" itself, evolved. It became a discussion on how most of us use the word "bro" (or "brah"/"bruh" for that matter) in our daily lives.
Most of our staffers, it turns out, use it as an insult. "OK BRO" is an easy way dismiss someone's lunkheaded opinion or a friend's bad joke. To us, the word is fundamentally unappealing and associated with gross concepts like hyper-masculinity, red solo cups and Dave Matthews Band.
Our negative connotation with the word, however, isn't universal. In frat and college culture, it still exists as a term of endearment. Some men readily identify as bros and — despite our instinct to assume otherwise — a lot of them are alright people. (Yes, my name is Madeleine and I have friends who are bros. There. I said it.)
So maybe we're getting annoyed by the wrong thing when we get annoyed with the OED (which is still totally wrong, by the way). What's actually annoying is how surprisingly nuanced the definition of "bro" is. Sure, it's easy to outline what makes a bro, but for such a supposedly simple people, they're much harder to define emotionally. I guess, for now, we should just take a page from the bro bible and not stress about it. We'll put aside our differences over a game of beer pong then go layout on the quad and relax.
Yeah, bruh. This life isn't so bad.
OED Adds 'Bra' and 'Slow Jam' to Online Dictionary [Salon
There is a war being waged in this country. Not against terror, or immigration, or even the environment — this war dwarfs all of these problems. The war I speak of is the war to determine our legacy as millennials; Will we be remembered as the generation of hipsters or of bros?
We all know a hipster when we spot one. They wear thick-framed glasses, scarves designed for fashion instead of warmth, ironic T-shirts, and skinny jeans — even and especially for guys. Bros similarly have a dress code: polo shirts or lacrosse pinnies, Ray Bans, baseball caps worn backwards, and Sperrys. A hipster’s drink of choice is a fancy coffee, while a bro’s is a beer. Hipsters delight in indie bands and poetry, while bros play lacrosse and party. The stereotypes are undeniable and unavoidable. They incite memes and online “bibles” dedicated to maintaining their stereotypical lifestyle.
Hipsterdom centers on the sense of superiority gained from returning to the customs of decades past — like bicycles, typewriters, and chunky knit sweaters. Bro culture seems in many ways to be at the opposite side of the spectrum as hipsters. While hipsters care deeply about politics, culture, and environmentalism, bros have more superficial joys — alcohol, sports, and parties. Both include a perceived self-centeredness and smugness that some believe is inherent to our generation. Hipsters gain satisfaction from being the first of their peers to “discover” a band or trend, while bros prioritize having a good time with their friends over more charitable pursuits.
But can we really claim the hipster movement as our own? Hipsters borrow greatly from their preceding generations: environmentalism from the 1960s, fashion from the 1990s, and ironic grandpa sweaters from whenever some 70-year-old dumped them off at Goodwill. In fact, your dad was probably a hipster before you were. Then again, the bro culture isn’t exactly new either; Time dates the first bro back to 43 B.C. And the concept of partying and drinking in excess goes back to Ancient Rome, although its current manifestations appear new.
Both of these lifestyles seem to stem from college. Where else would you have the opportunity to discover obscure authors and wear grungy vintage duds? And where else would you have the ability to party and play sports daily and not be judged for your laziness? Older bros and hipsters do exist, but they are looked upon with disapproval; these labels are seen as temporary phases to pass through on one’s way to becoming a responsible adult. While bros and hipsters are vastly different, the trajectories of their cultures are similar. Both are lifestyles reminiscent of the past and are looked down upon by people from older generations. They are labels easy to make fun of and difficult to assign to oneself. Could one movement really exist in its current state without having the other to contrast it with? The relationship between hipsters and bros is a symbiotic one.
As instated by their very name, bros cannot be women. Women cannot be bros. How can our legacy claim a stereotype that does not apply to at least half of the generation? Hipsterdom spans genders. If you don’t believe me, imagine a typical hipster outfit — it can work for a male or a female, can it not? The hipster culture is also easier to transition between ages; you can be a hipster in high school and a hipster in your 30s. People even joke about raising hipster babies by giving them quirky names and copycat clothing. On the other hand, promoting bro-like qualities in your baby is unheard of. Based on these assertions, I posit that while the bro culture is closely associated with the college years, hipsterdom is a lifestyle that can be respectably continued later in life, expanding its longevity and making it the fad lifestyle future generations will assign to millennials.
- I call other men "bro" as an insult, because I hate the word and people who use it. It is deadly, because if they're fucking with me, the last thing the are is a friend - bro? - of mine
How Bro Is a Bro? Let's Consult Our Bro-proval Matrix
And now for the most important question of our time: what is a "bro," exactly? It was the second-most popular plea for clarity my parents made while visiting me at college (the first most popular was, "Why in God's name are you basically pursuing a degree in analyzing vampire erotica?"). "Callie," they would ask, "what do you mean when you say 'bro'?" And I would feebly reply, "It's… a guy in a baseball hat… um, sports… beer pong… homosocial bonding… video games?"
The concept of the "bro" is nebulous yet ubiquitous, sort of like that famous definition of obscenity: "I know [a bro] when I see [a bro]." It's elusive and slippery, like Gollum swimming in a creek — or, more topically, like frozen vodka emanating out of a penis-shaped ice luge. Thankfully, Gene Demby at Code Switch has at last pinned down a working definition, illustrated by the most complicated venn diagram ever conceived of by man or beast. Ryan Lochte is in the center of the venn diagram because duh.
Tangentially, the preliminary conversation Demby engaged with over Twitter is pretty fascinating. He attempted to pinpoint our conception of "bro" in terms of class, race, and sexual orientation — is a bro necessarily white? Does "bro" always imply someone situated in a position of relative economic privilege? Can there be gay bros?
Lots of people told us that yes, a bro is definitely a white dude… Others said that most of the bros in popular culture are white dudes, but there are plenty of actual bros of color in the real world at places like USC. (Alas, even in bro-dom, people of color are underrepresented in the media.) Some folks even suggested that there were lady-bros — think Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids. And, of course, many people drew the distinction between bros and the term bruhs, which has a different (but occasionally still fratty) connotation among black folks speaking to other black folks.
Does a "bro" of color or a gay bro somehow gain legitimacy from his proximity to straight, white dudes, or is that just something that's been misrepresented in the media — which, it goes without saying, has a fairly horrific track record with featuring nonwhite, not straight characters? If it's feasible that whiteness, straightness, maleness, etc., are not integral to the category, can anyone be a bro? (More importantly, can I be a bro?)
Here are the four major Bro Designations, as decided by Code Switch:
Jockishness: "physical prowess" is an important designation for a bro; aptitude at some sort of sport or game (regardless of actual physique) is central to the category of bro.
Dudeliness: this refers to a bro's predilection for doing stuff with his bros. It's definitely just a polite way of saying "homosociality."
Stoner-ish-ness: This is more of an affect than an actual tendency to consume weed — it's worth noting, though, that the "bro" is in a position where he can consume all the drugs his heart desires (take MDMA and go to a Daft Punk concert, etc.) without fear of real punishment.
Preppiness: A signifier of social privilege, preppiness encapsulates the bro's casual-yet-classy sartorial vibe. Also, probably Birkenstocks.
So, there you have it: the Four Pillars of Bro-dom. According to Gene Demby, they were constructed after examining living examples of bros and ascertaining what they had in common — most of the living examples, tellingly, were white and straight. All were male. Following Demby's lead, we've made a bro-proval matrix from some of those examples that encapsulates the whole spectrum of jockishness vs. artisticness (the other Pillars being less easy to quantify/having less variation between bros) as well as the spectrum of public opinion.
Feel free to annotate the Bro-proval Matrix with famous bros of you own.
- [quote]You don't hear effem dudes use the word "bro." Almost never.
This is where the divide is. It's a natural guy vs priss thing. If you're not comfortable being male, I guess you don't want to be reminded of it.
When a guy gives a good friend a blowjob while maintaining non-gayness. ( Is this possible? )
Hey man, wanna hang out to night, might be a brojob in it for you!
- There are many bi and gay guys who say "bro."
It's just that the DL type of gay is unlikely to hang or identify with these type of dudes.
- I know of many bi/gay dudes who use the word "bro." It is just a natural part of being a normal mainstream guy. Some of you embrace archaic stereotypes and limit your exposure to mainstream society so much you have no idea what is normal.
- Would a man with gay tendancies refer to a man he may be interested in as Mr?
- [quote]Because calling someone "bro" is ridiculous and moronic.
It's no different from "man, dude, bud, pal, homes, etc." Unless you're going to insist that people always address each other by name, objecting to "bro" is kind of silly.
- well what im wondering do men who are interested in men but like women call their own sex curiosity MR?
Matt Damon Responds to Cumberbatch Bro-Date Request
By Kase Wickman | Jul 30, 2013 | 1:29 PM
Remember Benedict Cumberbatch's totally adorable man crush on Matt Damon? The time that he told Vulture, "Do you have Matt's number? Can you pass along a message, and tell him that Benedict is a big fan and would like to hang? That would be brilliant."
Well, Ben — can we call you Ben? — wish granted.
NextMovie sat down with Damon this morning while he was promoting the sci-fi blockbuster "Elysium" and broached the subject of the possible budding bro-dom between the two. We brought up young Benedict's dream, to have a "hot night where we're all getting drunk and dancing and having a good time!"
Damon said he hasn't yet met Cumberbatch, alongside whom he is nominated for an Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Movie, but that he'd love to grab a beer with him sometime.
And, yes, we know, talk is cheap, but for what it's worth, Damon's publicist stopped us on the way out to say she'd dropped a line to Cumberbatch's agent to make it happen.
Think Ben will be jealous? He doesn't seem like the jealous type, does he?
Watch Damon's reaction, and subsequent invitation, in the clip above. Be sure to look out for our full "Slysium" interview with Damon tomorrow.
- Masculine bi and straight dudes do say "bro," especially if thy hang with straight guys. It is just that most DL males are very fem and separated from mainstream masculinity.
- bro is non-sexual right? doesn't feel that appropriate for gay men. yes, I know, not all gay men want to fuck each other, but it might come up.
- R286, bro is non sexual, but most relationships between gay men are not sexual, and most make friends of gay and bi dudes are heterosexual, platonic guys.
- A lot of gay and bi men do call other dudes "bro." Just not that type of dude that usually is on DL. MOST DL guys are not mainstream normal gay guys.
- "Bro" means you suck each other off but no one tells
- no, you are talking about a "brojob."
- More and more gay dudes are calling other dudes "bros." It is part of the hypermasculine trend in homosexuality.
- r291, let's hope the dykes start a hyperfeminine trend with femmes for femmes
- There are more fem openly gay women than masculine openly gay men. Most of masculine gay/bi guys are completely closeted or in denial about their orientation.
- August 30, 2013|By Tony Peregrin
What do you call a brotherhood of gay men who get together and bond over sports, video games, gear, gadgets and guns? Meet the Gaybros—a Reddit-based community founded in 2011 with a shared interest in “guy stuff.” Chicago, Boston, San Francisco and even Dublin, Ireland, have active Gaybro communities with regular meet-ups at local pubs, restaurants and events such as Gay Pride.
“In Chicago, the meet-ups only started happening in the last year or so,” said Gabriel Villalpando, 28. “Some of the more popular meet-ups are at bars, or socializing somewhere in Boystown or Andersonville, or house parties. We don’t always meet in gay bars—we basically go anywhere that has a good beer special.”
According to Gaybros founder Alex Deluca, 24, of Boston, Chicago is in the Gaybros top 10 cities with San Francisco at the top of the list in terms of active members. Meet-ups—which tend to happen monthly or bimonthly in Chicago—attract as many as 30 Gaybros, according to Deluca.
“What is nice about Gaybros meet-ups is that it is not the same people each time,” Deluca said. “People go to these events nervous because they might be unsure of who will be there, but every Gaybros event I’ve been too has been filled with the kindest and most welcoming people who treat you like they have known you forever from day one.”
Bros before hos
The formation of subgroups and tribes within the gay male community certainly isn’t new—Chicago has an active bear scene, a world-class leather community (see: International Mr. Leather) and even communities and events built around DILFs and Otters.
“I would say our interactions aren’t strictly sexual in nature, and that is how Gaybros are different from DILF and Otter [parties],” Vallalpando said. “We’re all brought together because we are men who share certain interests that can be termed as ‘masculine’ but different from DILF because we’re not concerned with sexuality. We’re looking for beer specials, to find new music to listen to and to do things that don’t necessarily qualify as a stereotypical gay experience.”
“Unlike otter, bear or DILF events and groups, we don't limit ourselves to one ideal image in our identity,” said Jon Allen, a moderator of the Chicago Gaybros Reddit group, via e-mail. “It’s more about taking pride in your sexuality and masculinity, however you want to personally define those two things. Our emphasis has never been on how people behave or what animal they look like. Our emphasis has always been to develop a fraternal brotherhood that anyone is welcome to be a part of.”
“We are explicitly not a dating service,” Deluca added. “Having said that, people have met fiancés and significant others and had Gaypros—Gaybros proposals—but that is not the purpose of the groups. Gaybros is more for finding friends.” “To a point, they're correct,” said Marc “Moose” Moder, 43, a DJ and promoter from Andersonville. “Events like our DILF and Otter [partiese] are geared toward a specific physical type and the desire to find that type, whereas Gaybro meet-ups are supposedly about personality type. That said, I see no huge difference in being attracted to a physical type versus a personality type—they’re just different kinds of attraction. In the end there is equal amounts friendship vs. lust involved. I think those who fear that Otter, DILF and IML are sexual in nature are either scared of their own sexuality, or don't know how to attend a gay event to make friends and dissuade come-ons.”
Whether or not Gaybros mirrors other subcultures within the gay male community is a subject for ongoing debate, but unlike these other groups, many LGBTs accuse Gaybros of actually promoting “femmephobia.”
“Over-flamboyance—to be honest, you won’t find a lot of that around us,” Villalpando said. “I’m probably the most overly flamboyant [of the group]. We’re not looking for the stereotypical experience—we aren’t looking to hook up with the next guy, and we’re not out to party all night, so to speak. We are looking for shared experiences and common interests such as rugby or beer—sports, that is our focus. People shouldn’t be concerned with what the gay experience is supposed to be, of course that is bunk, because everyone’s experience is unique. I think in five years more people will figure out ‘Hey, I can be into rugby and dudes and that is a cool thing.’ ”
- Bromance with benefits?
- Masculine gay/bi guys do call each other and other dudes "bro" all the time. It is just a normal part of the culture.
- Millenials do.
- Maybe DL gay guys don't say "bro," but a lot of masculine bisexual and gay men in the Heartland and South sure do.
- I'm with you dudebrorino!
- alrighty then
- Why don't straight men call each other "Mary"?
- I say "bro" ALL the time.
- I hear women call women ?bro" now.
- Isn't that what lesbians call each other?
- many do
- Wiggle wiggle wiggle
- They do nowadays, man
- What up, bro? What's good, brah?
This is the chant of the bro, an equally parodied and celebrated genus of young men. (They've been designated "bros" mostly because, well, they say "bro" a whole lot.)
The usage of "bro" as a term of endearment isn't new, obviously. (As the indispensable Know Your Meme points out in a useful short history, people have been abbreviating "brother" this way for centuries, although its iteration as a synonym for "friend" — or more accurately, "friend-dude" — is much more recent.) Over the past decade or so, though, "bro" has evolved into a shorthand for a specific kind of fratty masculinity. Baseball cap with the frayed brim (possibly backward), sky-blue oxford shirt or sports team shirt, cargo shorts, maybe some mandals or boat shoes. Y'all know who we mean. These cats right here.
The other day, the Code Switch team fell into a winding conversation about bros, as we're wont to do regarding all sorts of seemingly trivial topics. After a Code Switcher described a person of color as being a bro, some of us wondered whether the description even made sense. Uh, weren't bros fratty white guys? Could dudes of color be bros independently of white bros? Or are they just like That Brown Friend in all those beer commercials — bro-y due to his social proximity to white bros?
Is bro-ness, well, raced? We asked folks to conjure up an image of a typical bro in their mind's eye. What race is that dude in your head? Most people nearby said that guy was probably white.
We tossed the question out to Twitter.
Lots of people told us that, yes, a bro is definitely a white dude. (But per Bryan Lowder at Slate, bros aren't necessarily straight.) Other people said that while most of the bros in our popular culture are white dudes, you could find plenty of bros of color in the real world at places like USC. (Alas, even in bro-dom, people of color are underrepresented in the media.) Some folks suggested that there were lady-bros — think Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids. And, of course, many people drew the distinction between bros and the term bruhs, which has a different (but occasionally still fratty) connotation among black folks speaking to other black folks.We quickly realized that folks were employing different working definitions of bro-ness. We got the farthest in our articulation of bro-dom by asking people to send us examples of famous folks who fit the bill. A few of the same names kept popping up: Matthew McConaughey, Joe Rogan, John Mayer, Dane Cook, the conveniently and appropriately named Brody Jenner. But we ultimately concluded that at the chewy nougat-y core of bro-dom lay the eminently quotable Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte.
(Seriously: watch this. Then read this.)
We noticed a few themes from the Twitter suggestions, and after a few days, we settled on four major dimensions of bro. These pillars, which may overlap, are stonerish-ness, dude-liness, preppiness, and jockishness. (Judging from our replies, bro-ishness seems to preclude any uncomplicated ease with sexual and gender fluidity, it seems.)
Below, we explain those dimensions in greater detail. But without further ado, allow us to present — the Bro-Map:Jockishness
Bros can be schlubby or scrawny, to be sure. But physical prowess, particularly in sports, seems to be a major part of the construction and performance of bro-ishness. Does the putative bro play a team sport? (And is that sport lacrosse?) Is the party thought of as his team's inspirational leader? Does the party somehow manage to juggle a sporting life and his salubrious appetite for alcohol? That bro ranks high on our jockishness index. Fist bump!
Dudeliness is one's propensity to do bro things with other bros. You talk with your bros about bro things, and you conspire to do bro things with your bros. Dudeliness is a measure of homosociality, a fancy gender studies term for what folks often call bromances — very close, platonic friendships between people of the same sex. A particularly dudely bro is someone you usually think of as an intrinsic part of a larger pack of bros. (Would that be a murder of bros?)
We're thinking less ascot-and-yacht preppy and more Abercrombie and Fitch preppy. The bro uniform isn't Brooks Brothers, but the sons of guys who wear Brooks Brothers. A bro's sartorial inclinations are conservatively casual. But in the event that a bro does suit up, it's all Barney from How I Met Your Mother: a nice suit that doesn't look like he's trying too hard.) A lot of people suggested that bros gleefully wield their social privilege. (But privilege and preppiness doesn't automatically equate with bro-dom; Carlton Banks, for instance, would be no one's idea of a bro.)
We don't use the stoner tag lightly; the racial politics of actual weed consumption are pretty complicated. Stoner-ish bros don't necessarily get high, but they do have a surfer vibe, and probably a speaking voice that simultaneously expresses both relaxation and bewilderment. This isn't to say that stoner-y bros aren't smart; James Franco is by many accounts a really intelligent dude behind his stoner-bro veneer.
With the elements of bro-dom thus explained, let us return to Ryan Lochte. He's a jock. He has a stoner affect. He competes in a preppy sport. He tweets pics of him and his dudes doing bro-ass things. So you can see why Lochte is the platonic ideal of bro-dom.
You could plot any number of youngish, contemporary celebrities somewhere on this Venn diagram. Andy Samberg is all about that crew love. Dudely. Tim Tebow is the bro-iest dude in a major American sport. Jockish. Armie Hammer is the quintessence of preppy; he even has that fourth-generation, high-society name.
So we need a couple favors from y'all. Tell us some public figures of color who might count as bros. (In the interest of keeping these comments relatively civil, let's avoid political figures.) Who are some youngish celebrity types who are most decidedly not bros? Is there anyone that you can think of who more typifies bro-ness than Lochte?
And you may disagree with some or all of the names on our map. So we also invite you to use this Google form to share your substitutes with us:
- Because since gay men fuck each other, calling each other "bro" would feel like incest.
- r311, you make it sound like gay dudes bang all other gay dudes. Most gay dudes only are sexually involved with a limited number of other dudes. Even the most promiscuous dude will only be involved with a tiny percentage of the overall gay male population.
- R312 Maybe you take things too literally.
- R312, you thought you needed to explain all that? Really?
"Dude" = "dumbass."
- Who else would they would be involved with R312?
- If R312 says "straight guys", I swear...lol.
- No, he'll say "mainstream," R316.
- The dude map: How Americans refer to their bros
“It seems safe to report that dude has supplanted totally as the word most often uttered by American youth,” claimed Richard Hill in his 1994 paper on the history of the word “dude.”
That might be true, but as it turns out, “dude” is more popular in some parts of the United States than others. In other areas of the country, people say “pal,” “buddy,” and other colloquial vocatives—nouns that usually refer to a person.
The map above shows the geographical concentration of a few such words. If you click the buttons, you’ll notice that “dude” is the most widespread. Others are heavily concentrated in particular regions, like “pal” in the north.
When Hill wrote his history of “dude,” understanding such trends in slang was close to impossible. There simply weren’t enough data. Not so today. To uncover the hidden shape of vocative use, linguists can draw on one of the best datasets the English language has ever had: Twitter.
Forensic linguist Jack Grieve has been working with several billion tweets, collected by Diansheng Guo of the University of South Carolina, to analyze the geography of language using location data attached to the tweets. Quartz asked Grieve to take a look at “dude” and its bros.
To generate the maps, Grieve first searched for occurrences of these words in the dataset. Once he identified word uses and their locations, he used hot-spot testing, a common technique in spatial analysis. It uncovers geographic trends in data by clustering together nearby areas with similar results.
Tweets are first adjusted by the population of the counties from which they were sent. Then, the frequency of tweets for a given county is compared to nearby counties. If a county uses “bro” frequently, for example, and so do several of those around it, it gets a high score. The word would then be shown in deep purple on our map, meaning it is “very common” in that area. (Our article on the usage of “um” and “uh” in the US goes into more detail on hot-spot testing.)
As Grieve noted in conversations with Quartz, the trends for these words are pretty clear even before hot-spot testing. Here is the raw data for “dude,” before the data went through the smoothing algorithm. The concentrations in the southwest and midwest are still easy to see.
There are a couple caveats. First is the absence of “man.” It might well be the most common of these words, but it can’t be meaningfully included because of its widespread use in other contexts.
It’s also worth noting that the words above are used primarily by white men. The fact that there are so few useful and innocent vocatives for women and people of color indicates biases both in our data and in the English language itself.
“Fella” and “pal” look to be on their way out. Even “dude” wasn’t always the top vocative. Any ideas on what might replace it?
- The Dude Map!