It happened. It just didn't make the news. I went to school with an obviously gay guy who was mercilessly harassed and bullied for being gay. He killed himself, sophomore year. I'm sure he'd've made the news if it hadn't happened in 1990
Sad. I was just talking to a friend who's the same age as me (38) and we were talking about how bad bullying is in this day and age.
We both agreed that if we were in HS today we'd have been victims of hate-book pages etc and it would have been unbearable. That poor guy. It is truly heartbreaking that kids are still (and always will be) such feral little fuckers.
To die feeling so much hurt and pain inside. It hurts me just to think about it.
Me too, these stories make me feel so sad.
Arizona schools have been doing a great job in cutting down on bullying.
I thank God I didn't go to high school in the day of FB, etc. I can only imagine what hell it would have been. It was bad enough getting pushed into lockers and being called an 'AIDS fag' without having to have some asshole students put it out on the Internet. It literally breaks my heart when I read stories such as this. This is why I get so pissed at stuff like Dr. Oz presenting reparative therapy as a viable option. I'd love to send him this story.
Man, look at that kid, really pisses me off. We may gently mock the "It Gets Better" campaign but it's true and this kid could've found himself so happy once he got out on his own.
Makes me wonder if he had years of religious beliefs about being bad shoved down his throat or what else... why do so many survive (with less natural resources than that smiling kid seemed to have) and others don't. Where does that extra strength/belief in the future come from? God knows there are more happy role models out there than ever before. But this kind of pain continues for too many.
I wonder about how things have changed. Now with social media perhaps it would have been worse - but I can tell you I am 48 y/o and my experiences were like that of a concentration camp with daily beatings, psychological and physical - learning ways to duck in and out of classrooms, take alternate stairwells etc. in order to evade capture/torture - all alone, completely isolated, equally loathed by staff, faculty and students - all because they perceived me as gay, even before I knew what the word meant. My heart goes out to these poor kids - I don't know what was in me that made me hold on and believe that someday it would get better - I don't know what was missing in them to think it wouldn't - it's so sad.
[quote] It literally breaks my heart when I read stories such as this
That's asttonishing. How many transplants have you required?
Yes, r9, you're literally part of the problem. So go fuck yourself.
R8, I relate, and I'm sorry. I went through the same type of shit and really nobody (unless they went through it) can understand.
I was also bullied as a teen, and I can't tell you how thankful I am that Facebook was not around then.
I wish I knew how to create a website, because I'd love to make one where bullied kids can anonymously report the teachers who don't protect them or who look the other way when they're being bullied. I too grew up in a small town in MI (I actually have family in Fenton), and I had one teacher who did absolutely nothing when a bully humiliated me in front of the entire class one time for being gay. I wouldn't be surprised if she too was laughing. And I had another teacher who, during sex ed, spoke derogatorily to us about homosexuality saying, "Why two men would ever want to have anal sex is beyond me." This all happened way back in the 7th grade and yet it still makes me angry when I think about it today. Scum teachers like that need to be called out and shamed.
Not acknowledging you are gay is what they want. Pretending to be heterosexual is what they want. Killing yourself is what they want. You have to do things they don't want you to do.
You guys are a lot more gentle and forgiving about this than I can be. Whenever I read a story like this I think what a shame it is that he didn't go into the school and mow them down like the worthless vermin they are. They killed him. No, not directly, but without their actions, he would be alive.
I wish gay teens could band together and beat these fuckers up. Contradictory? Yes. Solve anything (ultimately) or realistic? No. Save some lives in the neanwhile? Perhaps.
I wasn't obviously gay, but I was a nerdy, glasses-wearing, outsider, since I attended a rural parochial grade school and was the only one from there who got sent to my high school.
One guy from my class tried to bully me. Then in gym class we had a section of wrestling. The bully was shorter than me, but we were in the same weight class and had to wrestle each other. I didn't know the first thing about wrestling, but I was a wiry farm boy and easily pinned the smart-ass to the mat.
That was a good day. He left me alone after that.
Yeah, I always advocate Fighting Back and, privately, I must admit I wouldn't mind a bullied gay blowing away the assholes. Except the gay kid becomes the villain then, right or wrong.
Even simple Fighting Back is easier said than done when feels that alone. Hard to imagine that smiling kid had no allies but it happens. Sad and, yes, infuriating. Thought about teaching school now that I am retired from other career, more or less, but wonder how I'd handle this stuff. Sure as hell wouldn't ignore it but might beat the shit out of a kid too.
r17, you have the right idea. It's not contradictory at all. It's a matter of defending yourself in a society that will not protect you. And yes, it would solve quite a bit. People abuse other people because they know they can get away with it. When they know there will be severe repercussions, it's a different matter.
R14 - you don't need to create a site. Kids could just do that on 'rate my teacher', or whatever that site is.
I don't understand why children aren't taught how noble it is to be protectors.
Why aren't they praised for standing up for others? For letting bullies know that the group won't stand for it?
Seems like it would align well with the precepts of Christianity and military-minded people.
I still recall the great shame I felt when the girls in my elementary school wrote my name in chalk near my home with slurs for my parents to see. From reading comments on many female dominated sites I've come to realize that these people don't change, either. Their kids learn it's okay to bully from them. To this day I keep people at a distance.
I was a gay teen in the 70s and I STOOD UP FOR MYSELF.
Yeah I got in a few fights, but once they new I wasn't gonna take their crap, even if they could beat me up, they new I wasn't going to go down without getting in a few good punches, they left me alone.
We need to teach people how to stop running to teachers and hiding behind lawsuits and stand up for themselves.
I did notice one weird phenomenon in school growing up--the guys who were very OBVIOUSLY gay were largely left alone (or if they were bullied, I never saw it). It was the ones like me who tried to keep it hidden that got honed in on. One of my bullies from middle school recently attempted to add me on FB--I just had to laugh! What the FUCK was he thinking?
good for you R24. I was often given the same advice - laugh with them - fight back for god sake - yes and when I was 12 and 3 16-17 y/o men prompted by one of my classmates to "beat the faggot" stripped my clothes off, repeatedly punched me in the face, scalded my head with hot water then threw me in the deep end of the pool, how was I supposed to fight back?
He should have sought unlicensed "psychological" help to fix how wrong he was. It works!
Dr. "Cunt" Oz, muslim fundamentalist/oprah lamprey