My girlfriend is pregnant.

And yes I am a lesbian. Sorry if my typing is unclear but i must of drank half a bottle of Bacardi since we got the news. Let me summerize in short: Here are the weird things. I have been together with my girlfriend for six years. She is not even femme; she is a dagger (which is like a bull dagger but not as butch as that). She swears she does not know how she got pregnant. I am wanting to believe her in part because we are always together so I don't know how she got pregnant. We even work together at a store. She has been gaining weight and today we find out she is five months pregnant. What the fuck? Guess I'm about to be a mom. (Did I mention I'm 60?). Pass the bacardi

• Oh yeah, immaculate conception sweetie. Hugs

• Hello? Are you suggesting this could be an immaculate conception?

  MARY%21

• Wow. Silly question coming: Are you CERTAIN she's pregnant? Was a formal pregnancy test completed (and no, I don't mean the home pregnancy version)?

• OMG, R2. How is this possible?

• Did you see a bright star streaking through the sky? Make sure that manger is comfortable enough for your girlfriend.

• yes the doctor told her that she's pregnant. now I'm not calling her the Virgin Mary... the dildo says otherwise.... but we don't even know any men and we are both sober.

  op

• Me and a couple of my buddies will each bring a gift when we come to see the child.

  Wiseguy

• OP you have twice said, we. There has to be a third person in this equasion.

• [quote] .... but we don't even know any men and we are both sober. [quote] Sorry if my typing is unclear but i must of drank half a bottle of Bacardi since we got the news. Clearly you drink to much to be the father

• OP...there must have couple of minutes here and there when your girlfriend ran to restroom and bumped into the delivery man coming out of the restroom. And by the way, you're not going to be a mom, but you will end up being a parent, which rather sucks at 60. Is that what you want? Yuck. You need to have an open and honest discussion with your girlfriend about the future and with whom she had sex. Is it too late for an abortion?

• Worst queen EST ever.

• well i was sober until tonight cut me a fucking brak thanks

  op

• Clearly you drink to much to be the father Clearly you drink TOO much to be the father

  Spelling B

• Well, it's either: A) Immaculate Conception. B) She fucked some guy and is lying to you. C) She became pregnant taking a bath after a guy who had just jacked off and the tub wasn't cleaned. D) She had/has sex men and is experiencing a fugue (i.e., dissociative) state and honestly doesn't recall where or with whom she's been. I go for "B".

  R3.%20I%20mean%2C%20honestly.%20What%20else%20is%20there%3F%20

• [quote] Worst queen EST ever bigot

• let me get this straight. you're both lesbians and your girlfriend is pregnant and you happen to be 60 years old? 1 - only one of you is a lesbian. the other is bi 2 - someone cheated on you 3 - the other is young enough to get pregnant 4 - you're a dirty old womyn

• OP, do you recall eating her out immediately after some guy shot a load of jizz into your mouth?

• OP, your girlfriend is a fucking liar. I'd suggest you switch to Captain Morgan if Bacardi didn't tell you that much.

• Stupid thread. Bored little troll.

• She is not a liar , a liar is someone who lies all the time. She might be lying now but I believe her and she is not a LIAR as you call her. She says she doesnt' know how she got pregnant. I believe her. Why? Because I don't know how she got pregnant either. The evidence: 1. We drive to work together. 2. We work together. 3. We run errands together. 4. We eat together. 5. We dont' have any friends in this town so we do social things together. Thoughts?

  op

• There HAS to have been a sperm involved. Think about abortion or adoption.

  Mom%20never%20had%20%22the%20talk%22%20with%20her

• You sound like you're shackled to each other. Maybe a new baby Jesus is going to be born.

  Anonymous

• Is there any chance she might have been involved with a transgendered partner? Not to be too graphic, but you know....the woman could have said that she was using plastic and it wasn't. In other words, it was "live, not Memorex."

  anonymous

• You got her pregnant. Your a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Solved.

• Well, I can clear up one question for you: She got pregnant by a sperm fertilizing an egg. In most instances, this is accomplished by a man inserting his penis into a woman's vagina and ejaculating. But if your girlfriend has no recollection of any such incident, there is the possibility she was abducted by aliens who inserted an eight inch probe into her that can sometimes fertilize humans. This typically takes place upon spaceships from Zarton, but Plako or Hulupuru are other possibilities. Most of us have been probed with no recollection of the events, but fertilization is rare, only about .01%. I guess your girlfriend is one of the lucky ones.

  Prof.%20Simon%20Hatchett%2C%20PhD

• "1. We drive to work together. 2. We work together. 3. We run errands together. 4. We eat together. 5. We dont' have any friends in this town so we do social things together." Thoughts? She sneaked out of the house while you were asleep and had sex with some random guy.

• Are you sure the fetus is human?

• Do you have male kittens?

• She got roofied in a bar, and can't remember some guy raped her? If so, she must have sneaked out in the middle of the night or she wouldn't be there without you knowing. "Abducted by aliens" isn't really a viable option. Do the math and figure out what she was doing 5 months ago. Were you around then? And how is somebody 5 months pregnant and neither of you notices she's gaining weight? Are you having sex with your clothes off? Other than that, she's fucking some guy and is lying.

  Extremely Suspect Tragedy.

• Get...a knitting needle!!!

  Pats

• Sorry, OP, but you've got an Egg (meets) Sperm Tale on your hands; now you need to find out whose sperm it was.

• OP, she is either lying to you or 1. She blacked out and had sex with a man. 2. She has a split personality and one of the alters had the sex. 3. She was given the date rape drug, knocked out and some man had sex with her and she has no recollection. Trace back 5 months to see if she recalls and confusing days. But, honestly you have to look at the obvious, she has cheated on you. There is no way to get pregnant without sperm being involved. Maybe she used a sperm doner or maybe a dude boned her. But you cannot believe that she 1- didn't know for 5 months that she was pregnant, 2- didn't have sex with man. Unless she is mentally challenged she is lying to you.

• This would be the best "Maury" paternity test show ever.

  anonymous

• No! No! No! It is not an Immaculate Conception. That is the Catholic doctrine that holds that Mary was born without original sin. You are confusing it with virgin birth or virginal conception.

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immaculate_Conception

• At least we know it wasn't legitimate rape.

• Sometimes lesbians have sex with men and lie. This was the plot of a recent movie starring Julianne Moore.

  Seriously

• R10 solved the mystery: There must have been a couple of minutes here and there when your girlfriend ran to the restroom and bumped into the delivery man coming out of the restroom. Clearly, you don't do everything together.

• OP, ask your girlfriend to get a fucking abortion. No child needs to be born into the fuckery that is your relationship.

• Bull dagger?

• Yes, what is Bull Dagger?

  a gay girl not in the know...thankfully, I think

• Has her father, uncle, or brother visited in the last five months?

• Could someone have drugged and raped her, OP? Maybe that's why she didn't know about it? I do think the most likely scenario is that she's lying but who knows.

• OP, I believe you should bull up and claim paternity to give this child some stability. It doesn't matter who the bio-dad is as long as you provide a loving household. God help the child if it has dander allergies. or a penis.

• There's a baby in my belly, But I ain't had no man jelly. I ain't never be alone from her, I ain't never be too far from sober. There's a baby in my bump it, But I clean my dildo with when I hump it. Something got all up in my dagger vagina Thinking it might be own private Jesus Messiah. I got my bacardi and my truth, I got a fetus in my tubes. What? I got my bacardi and my truth, I got a fetus in my tubes. What? I got a baby in my belly... I'm a name it Kelly. Word.

  Urban%20Ode%20to%20the%20Feted%20Fetus

• There have been cases of women getting pregnant without sperm. Something about the egg splitting on its own. It shouldn't be hard to find. I believe you & I'm wondering if she wanted a kid but didn't have the nerve to tell you & got inseminated? Other than that, research the medical facts sbout pregnancies not involving sperm. Nice poem Utban.

• Parthenogenesis. It will be her clonal twin.

  Mini-she

• OP = Chaz Bono

• Maybe she was raped by a dead guy who lurks in a purgatory like situation in your house.

  and%20Jessica%20Lange%20as%20the%20neighbor

• OP, have you considered that she hasn't just found out? YOU have only just found out. Is it possible your girlfriend is playing dumb? She hasn't had a period in 5 months, and she didn't think this was odd? Get your diary out and see where she was 5-6 months ago. Did she go to a cousins birthday? Her uncle's wedding? Her nephews graduation in another state? You say spend every minute together 99% of the time but obviously not 100% of the time. She HAS had sex with a man, work out where and you might work out with whom. Mystery solved.

• OP --- you're sixty. How old is your pregnant girlfriend. 60 should certainly be old enough to NOT be this stupid. You know how a woman gets pregnant. I'm going to go with: This. Never. Happened.

• RE: There have been cases of women getting pregnant without sperm. Never have heard of such a case, except for the Immaculate Conception. Wonder why several the DL posters keep trying to blaime relatives and make this a case for incest???? Is this a Real Post guys?

  Cheryl

• R41 for the win. The gf's vehement denial is the tell. OP, what family member visited 5 months ago?

• How old is the gf?????

• This is like that movie with the nun who gave birth in her room and then killed the baby. They couldn't figure out how she got pregnant because she was in a secluded convent. "Agnes of God" with Meg Tilly and Jane Fonda.

• Oh come off it OP. This is just SILD. ("standard Issue Lesbian Drama"). She fucked a man to get pregnant. She's about to become a Mom - not you.You're both messes and there's nothing MORE unattractive than a lesbian mess. Advice? Hire a U-Haul and get the fuck out of there!

• -1/10. Pathetic attempt!

• In Saxon Bennett's novel, 'Family Affair', one of the lesbians gets pregnant when the doctor's office gives her artificial insemination, instead of a pap smear.

• {quote]Well, it's either: A) Immaculate Conception. B) She fucked some guy and is lying to you. C) She became pregnant taking a bath after a guy who had just jacked off and the tub wasn't cleaned. D) She had/has sex men and is experiencing a fugue (i.e., dissociative) state and honestly doesn't recall where or with whom she's been. E) Rape, in all its versions

• I predict this thread goes into DL history!

• I was thinking the same thing r59. I wanted to get a post in before we go into three digits and then split, so I can say I was there from the very start.

  r58, not even able to quote correctly because of my haste

• [quote] ...but i must of drank half a bottle of Bacardi since we got the news. Oh, dear. Do you want to try that again?

  PPSM

• OMG -- you young gaylings will fall for ANYTHING, won't you? Trust me when I tell you that no lesbian would call her gf a "dagger." In fact, I have never heard that word spoken by anyone, nor it's bullish cousin. And to the faggot who wrote this, if you can call a lesbian a "dagger," I'm going to call you a faggot all day long. And you'll deserve it.

  elderlez

• EST for days. Suckers.

• Someone won't be getting their annual invite to Michfest!!!

  Nan Michiganwomyn

• urf

• Do you own horses?

  Catherine%20the%20Great

• OP - Could you elaborate on the dagger bull-dagger taxonomy?

• I'm so sorry OP and I can't blame you for drinking, but once it sinks in you will come to realize that you r partner was with a man. Even if she got roofied she would have still remembered being in a fog when she woke up. You must first come to the realization that she was with someone else.

• Well you could have knocked me over with a shovel the day I found out that I had a baby inside my uterus. I really didn't expect it at all. Beatrice and I had just downed a 3 big pitchers of T&T's our favorite beverage while watching Judge Mills Lane (man is that man hot, I pray for the day when I can be up to my elbow in his dookie pussy) T&T's of course are a lovely concoction of Tanqueray and Tang. So Beatrice and I get a little bit horny watching Mills decide just who is Shwafana's baby daddy and the next thing I know Beatrice's hand is down in my maroon courdoroy gauchos going to town on my septic bristles and I start dripping gal oil like nobody's biz! We're just about to go at it when Beatrice says "Hold the phone" which confused me briefly as "the Phone" is our nickname for Beatrice's enlarged clitoris (it's HUGE!!! The thing is almost as big as Dirk Diggler's Henry) before I realize that she just means hold on a sec. Crafty Beatrice went into our kitchenette and started making Green Lanterns (our all time favorite drink!) with a twist! Not only were there the usual ingredients Creme De Menthe, Gin, and Scope, but she also added as a little pick me up some Charlie perfume that she stole from the Dollar Store down the street. It was like god in my mouth! Anyway, we were really horny after six or so glasses of these babies (and so drunk that we occasionally involuntarily vomited on the terazzo tile, just bits and pieces, ya know? Thank God Flan doesn't stain!! LOL!) Beatrice came up with an idea in between finger fucking my ghetto pucker and wiping up the blood and vomit trickles on the floor. Inspired perhaps by Shwanafa and her baby she decided it was time for us to have a baby. In between moments of nausea and eyes rolling back in my skull, I agree. After all I wasn't getting any younger and we both felt that we could really make a house a home for our spawn that came from inside of me. Well in spite of her gigantic clitoris, Beatrice didn't have any fella juice coming out of her, so we had to find a surrogate. What better time than 2:30 am on a Tuesday! Since we live so close to the interstate a potential sire didn't seem to be too much of an obstacle. Having made our way underneath the interstate to check out the 'STALLIONS' we made our selection. His name Clauderoy or at least that's what I think he said in between seizures. LOL!!! He only weighed about 90lbs and he had more absecess on his body than you could shake a stick at, but there was something sweet about him, the way he mumbled and always apologized after he went number two all over himself over and over again. Beatrice (who is strong like bull LOL!!! We were doing Native American impressions all night! Clauderoy really seemed to enjoy them) picked up his feet and dragged him down a gravel road. He really seemed to appreciate our interest in his wellfare, it was that kind of sweetness that really made me decide that he should be the man inside of me.

• Did she pour a bottle of sprite on the kitchen floor after she told you?

• Your girlfriend is a dagger, meaning unattractive. You are sixty years old. She has found some dude willing to fuck her. So on top of being unattractive and unfeminine, she's kind of a whore and a cheater. I bet you pay for most things too, being the older one. My guess is this is over some kind of drug use, as in getting high with her dealer and sleeping with him as an after thought, like so many promiscious drug addicts do. He's not picky because he's poor, addicted, and homeless. Your girlfriend is not sober. And weirdly, I actually do believe this story as I have known many butch chicks who were whores with men on the side.

• " must of drank " First learn your grammar; then. take Biology 101.

• [quote] I have known many butch chicks who were whores with men on the side. Could someone please explain why/how straight men are attracted enough to sleep with very butch lesbians? Years ago some friends of mine, a lesbian couple, went on a hiking trip and came across a couple of buddies who were camping by the trail. To almost anyone it was obvious they were lesbians. One a baby dyke and the girlfriend had been confronted in a women's bathrooms by a woman who was certain she was a man. The guys were very friendly and obviously hitting on the women. They didn't feel threatened at all and said they were perfectly nice, friendly but clueless men. They made some excuse about boyfriends and parted ways very civilly after they broke up camps. I remember the discussion we had afterwards. They were a little stunned. But were relieved/happy to have met decent people.

• The only remotely interesting part of this post was the ascension of the term Bull Dagger which I shall now use in my everyday vernacular.

• They do it on a dare, R73.

• They like the challenge, R73.

• I can see that in some circumstances, R75. Stupid frat boys at the bar dare someone to pick up the least attractive girl in the room. I remember "Dog Fight" with Lily Taylor and Joaquin Phoenix. But my friends and the guys were out in the wilderness, in the middle of nowhere. Each of the guys would have had to partake.

• Not to derail this thread, but WEHT to the wonderful Lily Taylor?

• Stupidest thread ever.

• Ah, that was River, not Joaquin in Dog Fight. I just looked at Lili (with an "i") Taylor's IMDb bio and she seems to be working steadily and under the radar, it seems.

  R77

• Straight men will fuck anything. They will deny it up and down in public saying they have limits and whatnot. But don't believe it for a millisecond.

• Wasn't MICHFEST five or six months ago? Man on the clam! MAN ON THE CLAM!!!!

  Willowcup%20Sagedust

• For christ fucking sake! You are too old to be a mother. Get a divorce...your girlfriends been cheating on you. She sure as hell knows how she got pregnant.

• R77 and R80, I am glad to know that because she was so memorable in that film. Just great. I consider her to be in the top ten of contemporary actresses. I have wondered why she is not more famous or promoted or appreciated.

• Stupid mean frat boys and their "pig parties"... Bitchy gays and women get called "catty" and "mean girlish", etc. but I think they have nothing on straight guys.

• Our Miss Lili Taylor deserves a thread of her own.

  I don't have eighteen dollars

• OMG she's been cloned! You'll know when the baby looks like an exact replica of your girlfriend.

• I can't believe all of you are falling for it. This is obviously an EST.

• R88, I don't think anyone is really falling for it. Just playing along.

  Collaborative%20Fiction%20

• Your story is a sad and typical one, Mr. OP. You, a true 100% diesel-truck got mixed up with a fish(aka "str8 female") who was just pretending to be a Lesbo. Kick the fish out and get yourself a real Lesbo!

  Mrs%20Patrick%20Campbell

• The return of Bonnie Mace! I knew by her second post she was back. Brava, Bonnie. Good, but not as god as previous posts from 10+ years ago.

  Nice%20to%20see%20you%20back

• Didn't something like this happen on the X Files and all the babies were born with tails?

• How can a 60 year old woman not know that the only way to make a baby is with an egg and sperm? This leads me to believe the OP is 12 years old boy and is fucking with everyone here.

• Coincidence that the Feast of The Immaculate Conception is tomorrow? (Dec 8th)? But, the thing is, the Immaculate Conception= Mary was conceived without original sin on her Soul. What we have here is a faux Virgin Birth.

  Recovering%20Catholic

• No original sin on her soul. Her dirty gash is another matter.

• Note the complete lack of posts since last night. I think we have another drive-by EST, dammit.

• [62] = Raci$t Le$bian Vegan Catholic Troll Alert!

• [R73] Most men will stick their dicks in anything. Even in a woman. Even in bull dagger.

• [quote]Trust me when I tell you that no lesbian would call her gf a "dagger." In fact, I have never heard that word spoken by anyone, nor it's bullish cousin. THIS ^^^

• agreed

• I can not imagine that a woman could be in her FIFTH month of pregnancy and not know it. That is absolute rubbish! .. She is playing you for a fool, OP. You'd better wake up. Obviously, abortion is not an option at this late date. I suggest registering with an agency to have the child be put up for adoption even before it is born. It deserves better than what the two of you can offer. Be wise. Do the right thing.

• [quote]I can not imagine that a woman could be in her FIFTH month of pregnancy and not know it. That is absolute rubbish! .. She is playing you for a fool, OP. While I agree that this is an EST and if, in the very smallish possibility the story is real, that the OP is being played for a fool by someone with blackout issues (or something), this does very weirdly does happen. It's super rare, but... In some rare cases, women don't stop menstruating or they menstruate very little. The zygote still attaches. Weight gain is explained as just that and some women really don't show very much until the end of their second trimester. You hear about the "I had no idea I was pregnant!" stories every once in a while, even among the marrieds who want kids. It does make you wonder how naive or unself-aware some people are. And that, sometimes, bodies just don't behave normatively.

• "Could someone please explain why/how straight men are attracted enough to sleep with very butch lesbians? " R73, your story takes place out on a backpacking trail, where things are not the same as ordinary life. The guys didn't have to worry about their dates being "streetable", they'd never see each other again, there was nothing else to do after the sun went down, watching the two gals together would have been fine with the guys, and once the sun goes down you can hardly see what anyone looks like.

• Eldergays who've read a lot of gay & lesbian social history books would use "bull dagger." It's a dead giveaway.

• OP, I have one thing to say

  http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2sulhESSD1qg9lud.gif

  Nippy

• sorry OP - she's a whore darlin'

• Phantom pregnancy perhaps? Didn't the English Queen Mary Tudor go through this? (not Mary Queen of Scots - Mary Tudor!)

• Bonny mace. It's been ages.

• OP, had your girlfriend ever been with a man before she got pregnant? If she hadn't, maybe you could have her hymen checked to see if it's still intact. I also imagine the Vatican have experts that can verify the athenticity of an immaculate conception, just like they have for miracles. Good luck!!

• OP - Gurl, hit me up on Twitter!

  https://twitter.com/Pontifex

  Joseph%20Aloisius%20Ratzinger

• Okay just catching up here and my first response is "Shut the fuck up!" I was emotional and drunk after eight months of sobrity when I was posting last night but I didn't say anything untrue. I already told you I work at a store all day so its not like I can sit on my computer in my kushy office typing on here. of course I know how babys are made. But my girlfriend was not with a guy to our knowledge and no relatives visited. I am not saying it is an immaculate conception but we are damn stumped. She might be lying to me and I am prepared to deal with that as it comes. And no she has not been with a man she is a BUTCH LESBIAN what part of that dont you understand. She is 26 and we have been together 6 years let me tell you she was even butcher as a 20 year old.

  op

• Did you like my rap/poem, OP? I slaved over it for you.

• no!

  op

• [quote]she might be lying to me. MIGHT??!?! ... bwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah hahabwaaaa hahahahaha hahahaahah hahahaahah hahahahah haha

• She obviously sat on an Evolutionary Seat, Toilet you moron.

• [quote] But my girlfriend was not with a guy to our knowledge Oh boy.

• Was she riding a tractor while wearing a bikini?

• LESBIANS OF THE CORN!!

  Crabwalking%20as%20I%20type%20this

• I hate the term "bull dagger". It doesn't even make sense - a dagger is a weapon. What does that have to do with a woman's lack of feminine qualities?

• I'm the father OP.

  Darth%20Vader

• well if you read about the movement you wouldnt' have such stupid questions would you? ever hear the term empower?

  op

• OP, has your girlfriend ever been with a man previously? If not, you could always get her hymen checked to see if it's still intact. You might also consider contacting the Vatican. They have experts that can determine the veracity of miracles, and I'm sure they do something similar for immaculate conceptions. Good luck!!

• [quote] She is 26 and we have been together 6 years So you are 60 and she is 26. You were 54 and she was 20 when you got together. And you do EVERYTHING together. I'd say that you have more than a pregnancy issue with your relationship. What is the date range in which the doctor thinks she got pregnant? And where were you both and what where you doing (apart from getting pregnant) then?

• This is not immaculate conception. Immaculate conception refers to the blessed mother of Christ having been born without sin. Pregnancy without ever having had intercourse is virgin birth, an entirely different phenomenon, although it evidently happens to the same people. So many people mix these up. It makes me cross. So to speak.

• I guess your GF is just the recipient of an Enigmatical Sperm Transfer.

  What%20a%20mystery%21

• Wow, OP is 6O and her girlfriend is 26! Don't worry, you're not becoming a mom. On a related note, congratulations on the new great-grandchild, Op!

• I don't think the OP ever said she was 60. I think that's yet another myth on this thread that has taken a life of its own.

  Yeti%20Virgin%2C%20Carrying%20Twins

• [quote]I don't think the OP ever said she was 60. Um, yes. In the OP, as a matter of fact.

• Wow. Can't believe I missed it. I'm actually so shocked it feels like someone impregnated me without me realizing it. Sheesh.

  Yeti%20Virgin%2C%20Carrying%20Twins

• Is this the kind of situation that would make an eldergay hiss?

• "Her dirty gash is another matter." Seriously? Who talks like that?

• [quote] OP - Could you elaborate on the dagger bull-dagger taxonomy? I want to know what Ellen is considered to be. She wears mannish jackets and shirts every day on her show, but also wears makeup. I've heard her described as a "soft butch" but is there a more interesting term, lesbians?

• Thank you, R124. Jeez, doesn't any attend weekly catechism class anymore? What would Ellen G. do?

  R5

• Oops, not R5. Too much DL cross-posting.

  R133

• My dirty gash is another matter!

  that's so rancid

• No way/

• Look on the bright side, your GF is gonna have her virginity restored. And when the three kings show up, send them my way. I'm outta myrr and frankensense.

• I've heard lesbians refer to themselves as 'bull daggers', so the 'Elderlez' that was saying otherwise is beyond out of the loop. Why be upset about the 'dagger' term and not the fact that a woman doesn't understand basic human reproduction?

• Ummm OP never said gf was 26!!

• Oh sorry yes she did. Seeing as she's so young, she probably slept with someone willingly. Time to have a heart to heart OP.

• [quote] Ummm OP never said gf was 26!! Yes, she did - in R111.

• Sorry OP but your not-so-butch girlfriend has been getting some dick on the side. Maybe experimenting with a bicurious gay dude?

• I've heard the pregnant girlfriend is being considered for an Oscar. Her performance as the naive, confused young women who utters the moving line "Esme, I swear I don't rightly know how such a thing coulda happened", has been hailed as utter genius by two timing cheaters everywhere.

  The%20mailman%2C%20who%20knows%20what%20really%20happened

• [quote]...but i must [bold]of[/bold] drank half a bottle of Bacardi That must of resulted in a hangover. Of you gotten over the hangover by this time or do you still of it? Of you told family and friends?

• This happened to an ex gf of mine. She swore it happened because she went to a gay boys' nude pool party.

• Well, from what I've heard, a lot of ladies sleep right through it...so no memory.

• Op, you are her meal ticket, she got caught and she is lying to you. But just raise the baby together, why not you are already raising one child, why not a second.

• You shoulda washed the turkey baster after you attempted a home pregnancy last year.

• Reality check, poor dear OP: Five months ago your lesbian girlfriend took a walk on the wild side and rode a dick.

  People%20are%20funny.

• Is her name Rosemary by any chance? Has she had any bad dreams lately, or eaten anything with a chalky under taste? Actually, the saddest thing about this thread is how few appreciate the special guest appearance of Miss Bonnie Mace.

  Eldergay%20with%20a%20pitcher%20of%20T%20%26%20Ts

• Some lesbians are just nasty cunts...period

• Once lesbians let up on the man hatred, they are drawn to them.

• Men, that is.

  R152

• this why i never try on thrift store levi's w/o wearing my thong.

• Put her ass out and tell her there is no more room in your inn, OP!

  Tom Boddett (and never leave a light on for her again!)

• [quote]immaculate conception That refers to Mary being without sin, not being without dick. If you're going to snark, know something about what you are saying.

• That's an old Bonnie Mace post from when she was first around, sadly.

• How sad you are still together. You should tell her to get the hell out! To be lied to like this is so shameful. For her and for you. Your relationship is doomed. Get out while you still can.

• Well in case anybody cares I've fallen off the wagon hardcore. tWO bottles of Bacardi a day min. Lost my job at the store. GF is still working... still insists she doesnt know how she got pregnant. I'm going with that now because the pain is too great otehrwise. She is getting really fucking fat though. Just call me grandma i ugess.

  op

• [quote]Well in case anybody cares I've fallen off the wagon hardcore. It's not that we don't care, dear.; it's that no one believes this thread is true. Embellishing with new details like drinking "at least two bottles of Bacardi a day" only serves to make it LESS plausible. You fucked up early on by claiming you and your bf were sober only one post after you admitted drinking Bacardi. You failed the first rule of trolling: always keep your fake facts straight!

• Maybe it's a case of Munchcarpet by Proxy.

• I am not a lesbian, but this happened to me once. I was pregnant and I didn't know how it happened!

  Lisa Miller Hughes

• [quote] She swears she does not know how she got pregnant. I am wanting to believe her in part because we are always together so I don't know how she got pregnant. She is SO lying to you.

• [quote]She says she doesnt' know how she got pregnant. I believe her. Why? She's lying to you. You believe her because you're a gullible fool.

• Ejaculation Suppressed Timelessly? Any Early Savior Traits?

• Oh my! She's already getting fat! That was fast op!!! Look out, it might be triplets!

• This to me is most definitely a trhead by the prankster who started the "demonic girlfriend" thread, the "Once around the garden/austmn harvest" thread and the Janicee, weeping vegan lesbian at Thanksgiving thread. Reads just like his style.

• "yes the doctor told her that she's pregnant. now I'm not calling her the Virgin Mary... the dildo says otherwise.... but we don't even know any men and we are both sober." Ok, your girlfriend is pregnant and you and she don't even know any men. Is that what you are saying? Goodbye.

• She's lying to you and you're too afraid of losing her and being alone that you'll believe anything she tells you. You'd rather live in denial then face the reality of it all. The age difference alone is telling of the dysfunction that you call a relationship. The fact that you're willing to believe her bullshit...well, maybe you two deserve each other. This is lesbian drama at is finest!

• OP, maybe you should just look at it as a blessing in disguise. Being a parent can be meaningful, (I've heard), and if you're just going to ignore the realities of the situation anyway, you might as well treat the kid as your own.

• ACT 2 (10 years later) --- Elderly lesbian is left with a child to raise when her girlfriend runs off with a 28-year-old male bartender.

• This never happened.

• OP, you're not a 'mom', you're a gramma.

• This has been on here since Pearl Harbor Day, so have we learned anything yet? I don't want to read all 9 pages. I heard the term "bull dagger" 30 years ago in Houston, but I did not know of the lesser degree of just "dagger". My guess is the troll is a male queer from Southeastern Texas about 60 years old. It is true that teenage girls were known to get pregnant from what was called "heavy petting" back in the days when there were virgins who did "everything else except going all the way". I knew a girl who would not believe that she was pregnant until less than a month before the baby was born.

• WHole thing is made up. If it isn't gf is lying. END OF STORY you gullible cane face!

• People who think they're doing others a favour by screaming "EST" or "It's all made up!!!" really boggle the mind. Are you really that stupid that you think you're telling people something they don't know or suspect? It really ruins the threads. Who cares if it's not true?

• R176, they're stupid enough to think they are the ONLY ones who know it's fiction so they MUST rush to warn others.

• We have been trying to become pregnant for decades but, alas, as soon as we sit on the poo-poo after the act of conceptia we suffer a spontaneous miscarriage!

  Mrs%20Patrick%20Campbell

• That's hilarious, R178.

• "yes the doctor told her that she's pregnant." Doctor Who?

  moi

• call Rosie ASAP