Roger Ebert hospitalized with fractured hip

CHICAGO (AP) — Famed Chicago movie critic Roger Ebert has been hospitalized with a hip fracture. His wife, Chaz Ebert, told The Associated Press on Thursday that her husband was doing much better and "doctors are making assessments" about when he could leave the hospital. Roger Ebert then posted on Twitter that he does not need surgery. Chaz Ebert tweeted earlier in the day that her Pulitzer Prize-winning husband was doing well and "asking for computer, will probably tweet." She jokingly attributed the fracture to "tricky disco dance moves." The 70-year-old Chicago Sun-Times film critic has had health problems over the last several years. He has battled cancer in his thyroid and salivary glands and lost his ability to speak and eat after cancer surgeries.

http://news.yahoo.com/roger-ebert-hospitalized-fractured-hip-224324954.html

He hasn't reviewed any Vincent Gallo movies lately, has he?
So sad. When I heard this my jaw dropped.
I really hope he's okay. But I wonder how his quality of life is...
He's a fat emboli waiting to happen.
From what I've seen he's all smiles.
Vicious R2. I laughed, though.
Zombie%20Gene%20Siskel%20%28the%20skinny%20one%29
Chin up, Robert.
He sucks cock like he had no jaw.
Looking at him now, I'm sure that fellatio would be a very unconventional experience, to say the least.
Now that I think of it, I rather like Ebert's new look; it gives him a more fun-loving, humorous, spontaneous appearence.
Now that Roger can't eat a tub of buttered popcorn and box of peanut M&Ms with every movie, has he lost weight?
Would someone please tell Mr. Ebert that Halloween is over and he needs to take off the Joker mask.
SickEvilFuck
I'll bet I can predict Roger Ebert's new favorite movie: Jaws.
SickEvilFuck
Would someone tell Mr. Ebert it's very rude to be constantly grinning like that? It makes him seem like a pervert.
I'll bet nowadays Roger Ebert gets depressed and insecure when he hears the phrase, "not by the hair of my chinny chin chin."
His wife is named Chaz? He can't eat food at all?
Normally I'd be supportive and tell Mr. Ebert to keep his chin up but ooops, he doesn't have one!
SickEvilFuck
A high percentage of hip fracture patients die within 12 months.
With his new look, Ebert's teeth now look like a row of urinals; when I see that Joker grin, I have an urge to piss in his mouth.
SickEvilFuck
OK R12-15, 17 AND 19. We get it.
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Ebert can take it r20, with his money most people would still trade places with him. I'm sure he thinks, I can't talk and look ridiculous, but I'm still a rich fucker who gets to goof off all day watching and obsessing about movies.
Bone metastasis
How does it feel, R20, to have no sense of fun whatsoever? I'll bet being around you is funereal in the extreme.
It just occured to me that Ebert's face now resembles one of those "cow-catchers" on the fronts of old steam trains. When I look at Roger Ebert nowadays, I expect to see a set of railroad tracks underneath him.
Here's a good idea for some slapstick comedy: make Mr. Ebert try to eat corn on the cob. I imagine the results would be amusing.
Reading this thread, you'd swear Oscar Wilde is still alive. Common sense would seem to suggest that whatever humor could be had by someone losing a jaw to cancer would be limited ... but heavens, the number of bon mots is, apparently, infinite. But my actual point -- I just finished his autobiography "Life Itself." I never watched his TV show so I only vaguely knew about him. A friend gave me a copy of the audiobook (I recently started a job involving lots of long-distance driving.) It sat unplayed for several weeks and finally listened to it. It was really good -- amazingly well-written. It's mostly about his childhood and early adulthood. There's actually not a lot of show biz stories in it. Anyway, quite surprised to find myself moved by it on several times.
[quote]How does it feel, [R20], to have no sense of fun whatsoever? I'll bet being around you is funereal in the extreme. As side-splittingly hilarious as most sociopath find cancer to be, r23, you've managed to post 11 jokes about it in this thread without garnering a single chuckle from your fellow DL nutcases or anyone else. Maybe it's time to admit that your tortured attempts at humor and fun just aren't very funny. I'll bet you think calling yourself SickEvilFuck is super witty and transgressive, too, right?
He's an amazing writer, R26. I think the thumbs up/down system was never an accurate reflection of his style as a critic. He's a much more acute thinker than that.
That because, R27, queens like you are such uptight, fussy, catty, cunty anal fucking assholes, that no silliness on the face of this earth could amuse limp-wristed, fat, miserable, whiny old zombies like yourself. It's NOT my fault you're a stuck-up, uptight, self-righteous, piece of shit, asshole cocksucker whose only function in life is to snivel and moralize. I LOATHE dog-gooder, holier-than-thou pigs like you, who put yourselves on some sort of pedestal, you fucking cocksucker. I WANT people like you to end up just like Roger Ebert did. Party-pooper maggots like yourself are a human shit-storm in whose rotted soul is suspended the carcass of a dead gutter rat. People like you are the REASON str8s don't like fussy, sniveling, easily-offended queens. Please put a gun in your mouth (assuming your HIV isn't killing you already, you sad little turd).
I watched Ebert & Roeper until Ebert took a leave and the show eventually was cancelled. While I never really liked Ebert I always respected his judgment. Following his ailing in the media makes me really sad. Even if you don't care much for this man you still feel sorry for him and the loss of quality of life he is dealing with. R9's posts actually disturb me. Surprised one can be so unaffected by such misery. I hope I don't know r9 in real life. Wouldn't wanna be around him when I get cancer.
You also might be interested, R27, to know that when I fucked your hairy-backed. methamphetamine-soaked, $2 bitchwhorecunt mom in the asshole (I'm one of those bisexuals that you catty, cunty, shallow, sniveling, BULLSHIT-REEKING insufferable, miserable, pompous, fucking arrogant paranoid queens don't believe in), she called me "Roger" when she came. In other words, I suspect you may wish to rethink the Roger Ebert cock in your sniveling mouth, R27, since he obvious took his turn with your well-trafficked mother-thing. Someone as self-righteous as you may think you're the King Turd of Shit Mountain, but filth like you is nothing but an insignificant particle of uric acid floating around in the great toilet bowl of life.
Who's moralizing, r29? I simply said you're not funny, which you're not—at least, not when you're trying to be. It IS somewhat amusing to watch a presumably adult (in chronological terms, anyway) person throw such a tantrum over next to nothing.
P.S., R27, my lovable little steaming, festering whiny turd: the name SickEvilFuck was just a random, dirty joke off the top of my head. IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE WITTY OR PROFOUND, YOU PRETENTIOUS, HIGHBROW COCKSUCKER!!!!!!!! Now run along, don't you have a few AZT treatments, you cheap, buttfucking $2 rentboy whore? DON'T YOU EVER PULL THAT SELF-RIGHTEOUS HIGHBROW, HOLIER-THAN-THOU SHIT ON ME BECAUSE THIS BI WILL INTELLECTUALLY BURY YOU AND PISS ON YOUR FORGOTTEN GRAVE, YOU FESTERING HUMAN PAP SMEAR!!!!
R9, just lighten up a little. So you tried to be funny and it wasn't well received. Not every joke is taken well. Some are, some not. Just move on and try a new joke. Without any sarcasm: Take it with humor.
But... what did he think of Les Mis?
Gee the poor guy is only 70?.....I thought he was much older.....I miss his recent PBS show with the cute Russian guy and the blonde frau
r33 -- I'm not r27 but I think the point he or she is making is that you're first joke on page 1 wasn't really funny ... doing a number of variations on it only belabored the point. I don't think anyone here is commenting on your taste (or lack of it) -- the problem is that you simply don't know how to write a joke. (Here's a tip, using all caps makes it even less funny and you merely come across as desperate.) Trenchant humor just isn't your forte.
Whoa r33.
Looking at his mouth, you know what would make a really cute couple? If Ebert hooked up with that girl from "Twilight Zone: The Movie" who had no mouth at all. Of course, they'd have a great deal of mutual difficulty with oral sex, but I still think they'd be perfect for each other, given their deformities.
Sadly you're still not funny, r9, r33, r39, etc.
When I look at Ebert's mouth nowadays, I half-expect to see a set of inner striking jaws in there, like the Alien movies. It would probably be an improvement, as far as oral functions go.
Excuse me, but I need to saw a dead, rotting branch off a tree and I was wondering if I could use Roger Ebert's mouth to do it.
He still has that biting wit. Seriously.
R9 ff was more entertaining when he yelled at us.
I just realized that with his mouth the way it is, Roger Ebert is a perfect candidate to be part of the human centipede.
What happened anyway, did Mr. Ebert go to his plastic surgeon and say, "Give my mouth that cool vaginal look that all the celebrities are rocking nowadays."
For some reason when I look at Ebert now, I can easily imagine him having a set of inner striking jaws like the Alien movies.
Is your goal to have a variation of that comment posted every other day, r47? See r41.
A perfect new career for career for Roger Ebert: a human lawnmower.
Now I've got it! Roger Ebert is deliberately trying to look like that Mason Verger character from "Hannibal." Very aesthetically ambitious of him, I would say.
I would like to extend my congrats to Ebert for being history's first sex-change patient to get a uterus implanted where his mouth should be. Way to go, sir!
I'll bet Roger Ebert can really identify with Jeff Goldblum's character in the last 10 minutes of "The Fly." Where Geena Davis accidentally pulled his jaw off and the jaw still kept squirming when it hit the floor; I'll bet Ebert's jaw did the same thing. I wonder if Ebert made the same insect noises when his jaw came off.
He does look ridiculous and shouldn't appear on tv anymore, as he did on Oprah. He should have more dignity than that, that's what Rosie O'Donnell said. She also thinks Barbara Walters is too old and should have the grace to bow out, and she's right about that too.
I think I'm going to hell, because I laughed my guts out @ R13. W&W! And I agree, Barbara Walters is too fuckin' old to be on The View anymore. Of course she insists on staying in front of the cameras, forcing her audience to witness her steady descent into Alzheimer's.
Another new career possibility for Mr. Ebert: a human Pez dispenser.
By sheer coincidence, Ebert's mouth is now shaped exactly like the trapway in my toilet! The only difference is that shit goes INTO the toilet shit and COMES OUT of Ebert's mouth.
Two thumps down.
Sorry, DLers, as hard as I try I can never forgive both Siskel and Ebert for their trashing of "The Silence of the Lambs" when it first came out. One of my all-time favorite movies and easily one of the most psychologically harrowing crime dramas ever made. Anybody who doesn't like "Lambs" is too elitist, stupid, snobby and tasteless to live. For fuck's sake, Hannibal Lecter is one of the most iconic, absolutely greatest movie villains in history (w/Darth Vander and Nazi Col. Hans Landa) and these Siskel/Ebert faggots just shrugged it off. So FUCK THOSE ELITIST REVIEWERS WITH EVERY LAST, SUBATOMIC QUANTUM of my soul. Good riddance to both Siskel and Ebert butt-buddies.
I don't care that you hate Siskel & Ebert r58, what pisses me off is the nerve you have using homnophobic put-downs on a gay forum. And it's also pathetic, because you're probably gay yourself.