- "Our fans desperately want to hear me sing the theme song differently. They're tired of the same old thing each year."
- "Well, I guess just one chocolate eclair won't hurt me."
- "Betty Buckley will spruce up that family comedy just right!"
- "If we take LOST HORIZON and add songs, we could have the next SOUND OF MUSIC."
- "Of course Russell Crowe can sing! He's in a rock band, isn't he?"
- "Don't you think we're underplaying this a bit? Joan was an actress, she was always theatrical on and off the screen. I have an idea how we can make that confrontation scene in the living room play better."
- "Pierce Brosnan sings every bit as well as Rex Harrison, and he won an Oscar, dammit!"
- Everyone loves Lucy!! Of course they'll LOVE her as Mame!!
Warner Bros morons
- "Let's do a prequel!"
- We don't need to do more auditions to replace Winona...I'll just let my daughter do it.
- "Be ready to bring the chopper down low and don't let the explosions unnerve you. I want to see a real look of terror on Vic Morrow and those kids' faces!"
- No Jennifer, you look thin....don't worry about your hips.
- We need to heighten the emotion here... say, what if we used an actual color filter at "bright canary yellow"?
- I'm going to call Oksana and tell her exactly WHO is the BOSS... and there's nothing she can do about it!
- "Let's give the Superman rights to Jon Peters!"
- Let's make the Wild WIld West into a movie, and spend $100 million doing it, but best of all, we'll cast Will Smith!! Can't lose!
- Why spend money on a publicist? I'll just get my sister to handle it.
- "Let's make a realistic film about Las Vegas showgirls a la All About Eve. Guys and girls will love it. Guys will go for all the tons of female nudity and girls will really relate to Nomi's plight of an ex-prostitute turned stripper who wants to be a dancer. Win win!"
- "Heather Graham in a network show. This is gonna last for years, let's plaster America with ads for it!"
- My daughter is a talented actress and will fit right in with the pantheon of great actors in the final film of my Godfather trilogy.
- "Clint Eastwood, Lee Marvin, and Jean Seberg may not be able to sing, but the audience will never care -- especially if we make the picture almost three hours long!"
- "We can call it ISHTAR!"
- "I know!!! We need to simplify the title to...JOHN CARTER"!!!!
Fired Disney Exec.
- Let's put Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and theTooth Fairy in a movie, but make them weird and creepy-looking!
- "Nicole, now that I own your soul, you'll be working with Lars Von Trier. Now, I know it's soul-crushing, but you've already been through that with the clams - right? I have a wonderful new treatment called Botox to keep you from crying non-stop. It'll be fun. Fun like Tom."
- What a sad little group you are.
- Here's the pitch: a MUSICAL featuring the music of THE BEATLES telling the story of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club band and that guy, whoever, what's his name? Oh yeah, Billy Shears. And get this: it stars PETER FRAMPTON and the BEE GEES! The most popular rock acts around! Jesus, what a boffo idea! And the rest of the cast will be a spectacular assortment of A-listers like George Burns, Billy Preston, Alice Cooper, and Earth, Wind and Fire! OK, so there's no script to speak of. And Frampton and the Bee Gees and most of the star cast can't act their way out of a paper bag. But it's FRAMPTON and the BEE GEES and the music of the Beatles! Every kid in America will want to see this! It'll be this generation's "Gone With the Wind!"
- Let me get this straight: you want HBO to air a series about an advertising executive in the early 1960s? Starring some random dude named Hamm? HBO is a serious company on a serious roll. We aren't interested in soap operas. We win awards for excellence. Get outta here.
- "Now Samantha, I want you to be a good little girl and do whatever Mr. Polanski tells you to."
- "I know how we can get all the baby boomers AND Transformers fans! We acquire the rights to the board game BATTLESHIP, hire a hack director and cast hot actors like Taylor Kitsch and pop sensation Rihanna! What? A SCRIPT??? WHo needs a script with all of these surefire elements???"
Universal Exec who probably STILL has his job
- "Sting wants to be in our movie! We'll need actors that make him look good. Is the flashdance girl available?"
- "Cast, I'd like to introduce you to Robbie Rist - He'll be playing cousin Oliver!"
- Barbra will be wonderful as Dolly!
- I'd like to cast my wife, a girl with a big mouth from Wareham, MA.
I've proven myself with Cliffhanger.
Now give me the $100 million and watch the revenues come in!
- Uh-oh, we'll have to use the forceps for Mrs. Stallone's delivery! But first, let me finish this delicious buttered toast.
- "Hmmm....I'll tell tell you what - throw a real boffo leading man into the mix - a Matthew Modine type - and you've got yourself a picture, R34!"
- Of course Christina Aguilera is leading lady material!
- Mariah Carey making her film debut in a semi-autobiographical musical? We've got a HIT on our hands!
- " Ax the Garland Show. No one will miss it."
- I know she was basically playing herself in 'Susan', but I think Madonna has the chops for another movie, more in the madcap comedy vein.
Who wouldn't want to see Madonna on screen?
- That Jimmy Saville just LOVES kids. Let's have him host "Top of the Pops"!
- This year if I win the Oscar again, I'm just going to wing it when I go up to the mike.
- Whitney, there has been a lot of speculation in the press about your drug use. We need to do some damage control and rehabilitate your image in the media. An interview with Diane Sawyer would be just perfect!
- Farewell television, hello silver screen!
- Let's cut the stripping footage. The audience really wants to spend more time with Cody Horn.
- "Five words: Lindsay Lohan as Liz Taylor!"
- "A musical based on 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'? With MTM and Richard Chamberlain? It'll run for YEARS!"
- "Everyone remembers Aimee Semple McPherson ... why don't I write a musical about her?"
Kathie Lee Epstein Johnson Gifford
- "A sitcom starring [fill in the blank]? It can't miss!"
- This can't miss!!! Kevin Costner in a post-apocalyptic future western/action film!! And we are so confident in his vision that we will allow him complete final cut!!"
Warner Brothers exec, now currently waiting tables.
- "Mr. Prinze, I think the song you should listen to is 'Happiness is a Warm Gun.'"
- "We need a Mickey Rooney type to play the Japanese landlord. Say, what's Mickey doing?"
- "Dustin Hoffman in DRAG? Good grief, what are you thinking. That has flop written all over it. "
- Elizabeth Berkley can become in a star in this great script I just read for a movie called "Showgirls." It is going to put her on the map, I tell ya!
- "Thanks, Reverend. I agree, it'll be great to get this off my chest and tell everyone what I really think about 'Two and a Half Men.'"
- "No Miss Crawford, I would say your eyebrows aren't prominent ENOUGH!"
- "There's this crazy girl who talks in a helium voice and does headstands. The audience will love her, and I think she'd be a great foil to Nora and Jan."
- "Let's make a TV comedy series with American soldiers in a Nazi prisoner-of-war camp!"
Surprisingly, the show was better than it sounded on paper, although its star Bob Crane was later murdered in seamy circumstances, as immortalized in the film "Auto Focus."
- "Winona's out, so I'm going with Sofia. I fought for Marlon, and this'll fly too. Think I'd ruin up my trilogy with nepotism? Please."
- "So, Mr. Depp, let me make sure I have this right. You want it to read W-I-N-O-N-A F-O-R-E-V-E-R?"
- "We'll do an update of Planet of the Apes, but cover up all of Mark Wahlberg. Nobody wants to see him in a loin cloth."
- "Of course Julia can do an Irish accent!"
- "It'll be great fun directing Madonna. Any creative tension will just enhance the film. It should be a lively shoot, then we can all enjoy our war stories in due course."
- "Just thin the bridge of my nose and even my skin tone. That'll do."
- Let's let Madonna direct a movie!
- Madonna And Sean Penn are the new Bogie and Bacall!!! "Shanghai Surprise" is going to be a monster smash!!!
The Grand Flop of 1986
- "That latest Vidal novel, 'Myra Breckenridge' would make a terrific movie! And let's get Mae West and Rex Reed to star! Boffo box office for sure!"
- "The only person I can see directing this disco extravanza is Rhoda's mom."
- "Who's not gonna love Jay Leno five nights a week in primetime? The affiliates will eat it up!"
- "This Karen Cellini has a quality..."
- "'Thirtysomething is such a huge hit; let's do a dramatic version of 'The Brady Bunch'!"
- The public loves Mary Tyler Moore! let's let her do a weekly variety show.
- Lily Tomlin and John Travolta in a romantic drama....those two are bound to generate tons of chemistry!
- "Sure, Jayne, we can go for a ride in your new convertible!"
- Who needs a script....Carroll Baker looks just LIKE Jean Harlow!"
- "C'mon, John ... it's just one more speedball? What could go wrong?"
- NYPD has served its purpose of launching me into stardom. Next stop: hit Hollywood movies.
- "Judy, all you have to do is take these and you'll have tons of energy."
- "I'm carrying this one to term."
Blythe in '72
- r79: game, set and match. Well played.
- "Meryl's daughter as an MD? Sure, why not?"
- Audiences loved Psycho, so they'll love a shot for shot remake! Let's add Anne Heche to ensure boxoffice success!
- "You say they still need more money to finish 'Cleopatra'? No problem -- tell them the sky's the limit. Taylor and Burton?- it can't miss! And we're 20th Century Fox, goddammit-- we're loaded with money."
- "Singing policemen, you say? And starring your wife, Barbara Bosson? Sign us up! We want to be in the Steven Bochco business!"
- "Yes, Mr. Hexum. We feel that having live ammunition on the set enhances the real life feel of the show."
- "Another Coke, Ms. Rappé?"
- Nobody cares WHO plays Bond. A monkey could play Bond.
- "The romance between Ben and Jennifer will translate successfully to the big screen. I can already sense that smoldering chemistry between them."
- It wasn't live ammo, r85. But even blanks can kill if they are fired right into your brain from an inch away.
- I'd say 98% of these decisions were influenced by coke.
- I voted r79 for wit and wisdom
- ...and Keanu as Jonathan Harker!
- I just started working with clay.
Liza with a Z
- "Brad Pitt is perfect for Meet Joe Black!"
- "Jane Pauley is washed up. Let's elevate that Deborah Norville and get things back on track."
- "Middle aged GBM Puppeteer seeks barely legal companion for furballing, more."
- well let's all just stop what we are doing and give r91 a round of applause.
- Micky Rooney as a Japanese man? HIRARIOUS!!! (Get it? HiRarious!)
- "Hey Courtney. What? Oh, sure I can show you how to play a power chord."
- Gosh, I guess I'll just open my big yapper today and see what flies out.
- Taylor Miller as Sally Frame! This can't go wrong!
- "Okay, RJ. Just a tiny l'il nightcap, then."
- Sure Barbra...you can play the $1,000 a night hooker in Nuts..lots of men would pay that much to be with a girl who looks like you
- "Sure, I'd love to take the free Stress Test! Where are we going again?"
- The Brady Bunch has a little kid named Cousin Oliver. The Partridge Family needs a little kid. And let's show we believe in diversity -- cast a Puerto Rican. He can't sing? So what? Everyone on the show lip synchs anyway.
Valerie, you're really the star of the show. That's why it's called "Valerie's Family"
Suze, you're really the star of the show. It really should be called "Chrissy Snow and Company". Besides, Joyce DeWitt isn't well liked by viewers. Everyone thinks she's a lesbian.
Tina, we know you're trying to build gravitas as an actress, but we have this little sitcom that Bob Denver wants to do and we think you would be perfect as the female lead.
Lucy, you're a great tv commedienne. Why not one more round with Gale Gordon where the two of you are senior citizens?
Lucy, you've done comedy, you've done musicals. We have this nice little after school special message drama about an old bag lady.
Audra/Norman - You've outgrown Three's Company. How about your own show?
Marla, the Florence character needs room to grow. How about your own show?
Polly, you're funnier than Linda Lavin. Why not your own show?
Esther/John - the kid is Dynomite! What more can we say?
JoMarie, we're going to spin you off from Perfect Strangers with your own show. And yes we've learned a lesson from Good Times about a kid having a catchphrase that has to be said in every episode.
Delta is getting too fat. What's Julia Duffy doing these days?
John Goodman is tired of doing the show. But Roseanne and Jackie can carry it another season. Why don't we fashion them after the AbFab girls.
- "I Roseanne take thee, Tom . . ."
- Wait Blanche quit - the rest of you stay, you can run a hotel!
- Dorothy quit r107!!!!
- shit - sorry. but the hotel was the stupid idea!
- "Mommy, mommy, let's go for a drive!"
- [quote]Audra/Norman - You've outgrown Three's Company. How about your own show?
And to think, many years later, they'd end up costarring in "Porgy and Bess" on Broadway.
- "Gina Davis should be the president!"
- "My client needs to display his versatility. Of course he can play gay!"
- I wonder if I could eat this sandwich faster if I didn't stop to chew.
- Why bother with installing a peephole!
- Everyone loves a holiday special! Everyone loves Star Wars!
Put 'em together - BINGO!
- "Ms. Taymor, we would be thrilled and honored to pieces to have you take on Spider-man and make it your own."
- Natasha, dear why not take the kids skiing while I make a movie? No...helmets are silly.
- "Let's invite Fatty Arbuckle! He's always the life and soul."
- Bob, cahn't you give my daughter (takes puff on a cigarette) a speaking paht? she can play the nosy neighbor's damn kid or something.
- Lower! I want that chopper as close to the explosions and those children's heads as possible!
- "That's a wrap!"
- "Okay, so we give Conan the Tonight Show and move Jay to 10:00 PM . . ."
- It's a film that's just begging to be remade. This time, though, all four of the girls will be whores! Plus it'll be the perfect showcase for that sexy daughter of Judy's. She'll show lots of skin! No, not Liza---the other one.
- God dammit! LOOK! I need this carry on.
- This is my new friend Diane Ross. I think she's gonna be a great addition to our group.
- Of course, Nell! It's 1984! America is definitely ready to see a 10-year-old boy perform in blackface.
- "Fifteen miles an hour? That's not fast!"
"It is...for a boat!"
- 'There's no point in filming Garland at Carnegie. We're doing her a favour, her best years are long gone. We'll tape it as a curiosity and leave it at that."
- God, some of you are old.
- I voted r110 for wit and wisdom
- Who else for House of the Spirits but Streep, Close, Irons, Ryder and Banderas!
- No more showing skin.People need to accept me as an Actress.
- Don't worry, R130, you will never be old. Never.
- R79 had the best reply in this thread- and I'm not even a Gwyneth Paltrow hater!
- This Aristophanes guy, he's not very talented. Let's skip doing his plays and work with Erronius. Much more likely to pass the test of time.
- Funny R136.
- 24 hours of sports?
24 hours of music videos?
24 hours of news?
Are these yokels nuts?
BTW, what is a music video?
- Forget MASH....it's Vegas for me.
- R130 and some of us read books, listen to music, watch movies and TV shows written and produced before 2010.
- "Hello, Dustin? I just got this script...You like the desert?"
- I'm sick as a dog! Dion, podrias hacerme un favor?
- Sure Bruce, of course you should record an album...
- She left her sunglasses here. I'm done with my shift, and can swing by her place to return them, maybe see what trouble we can get into.
- Meryl: Don, hon', did you get a chance to look at those scripts I left on your nightstand?
Don: Uh, um, yeah, Meryl, they were great. Really, really...great.
Meryl: So which one should I choose? I'm thinking "The Fabulous Baker Boys" would be fun, especially since Jeff and Beau are attached; but I also love the way "Steel Magnolias" explores oppression and freedom in a Southern matriarchy. That isn't to say "The War of the Roses" wouldn't be a refreshing change after "A Cry in the Dark." I *still* feel emotionally drained from that one...I'm not sure a dramatic role is what my psyche needs right now!
Don: Yeah, um, the emotional carnage that one can find, uh wrought on his or her self can be...devastating?
Meryl: Hahaha, you're adorable when you do that charmingly befuddled routine. But seriously, which script did you find the most engaging?
Don: [Nervously walking toward his nightstand and grabbing a script from the pile he's avoided reading all week] This one! I-I-I just felt it, um, is provocatively eloquent, in its, uh mendacity of, um, um...
Meryl: "She-Devil"? I don't know, Don...I found it to be the least compelling of my options. Besides, I'd be working with that one obese comedian with the television show...and Ed Begley, Jr.
Don: God dammit, Meryl! You told me that it was over between you and that jerk!
Meryl: Don, you're being absolutely juvenile. "She-Devil" is just the kind of meaty, throbbing, hard, Ed...uh-editorial on feminine empowerment that women today are continually denied.
Don: But I didn't even read the script! I didn't want you to know that I ignored your 10,000 reminders to read through the scripts you left out for me, so I figured I'd pretend to have read the first one I happened to pick up!
Meryl: Oh, Don. You mustn't be so jealous. Sure, Ed and I have a history, but I'm committed to our marriage. Honestly, I'm willing to bet that any feelings I once harbored for Ed have tempered over the years.
Don: Says the woman whose hands go straight for her crotch whenever St. Elsewhere comes on!
Meryl: Don! Now you're just being vulgar! Anyway, instead of picking fights, you should be getting ready. We have dinner with Tracey and Allan at 8. In the meantime, I really should call my agent and let him know that I'll be doing Ed. "She-Devil." I'll be doing "She-Devil."
- Such an epic fail, R145. I condole you.
- "Sure Bruce, of course you should record an album..."
Replace "Bruce" with "Eddie"
Party All the Time
- "I can't believe how much Keanu and Winona look and sound like 19th century English aristocrats. I don't need to see anyone else."
Francis Ford Coppola
- R145 Actually The Lives and Loves of a She Devil was a very funny best seller at the time.
- "Say no more. Lucy as a bag lady. Her fans, nay, all of America will love it!"
- Look at it this way, Demi: Hester Prynne may be a classic character in American literature but who reads that shit anymore? No one's gonna know or care if we make it a happy ending. They'll thank us for it!
- "Mondo? Naw. Let's go with Gretchen."
- "Clown in a concentration camp? You can't go wrong with that. It screams Oscar to me!"
- Lick a stripper pole and push a hoe down the stairs! You'll never be known as Jessie Spano from "Saved By The Bell" ever again!
- well r152 it got Oscars....so?
- Yoko is a fantastic artist. She's a multi-talented creative type. I want her to sit in on all of our recordings. And I want to start a band with her and sing about how we need to release violent American criminals from prison.
- R155, have you ever heard of "The Day The Clown Cried"?
- What stop sign?
- YUM! A ham sandwich!
- Grease was such a success that a sequel with new songs and a bunch of unknowns is sure to be a hit!
- So this singer Madonna is really a hot property right now, and I'm gonna make this comedy with her called, "Who's that Girl" and it should really put my career on the map!
- "... like a modern version of a Hitchcock blonde! And get this: Her name is actually 'January'! It's retro! Like Tuesday Weld!"
- Two words: Shia Lebeouf
- "This...Rowling?...from the slush pile. I gave it a look. Sort of whimsical wizardry, dated kids' stuff. Prose undistinguished. Standard no-thanks slip."
- "Do you know who I am?! I'm Carole Fucking Lombard! I don't care if they ARE soldiers--I'm not giving up my seat!"
- We've yet to have a hit. This piece of shit group is going nowhere, so I'm gonna use my pregnancy as an excuse to bail. I'm outta here!
Let Me Go The Right Way
- "Jesus, Elise, stop with the 'He's only 8' already! It's just a little pot...lighten up fer Christ's sake!"
- Let's get Kate on the line in the UK, mate. Everyone will larf at our harmless prank!
- Less Cowbell!
- No Girls, no gags, no chance!
- This Christopher Nolan guy sure does have an artist's touch!
- Out of all the posts, r170 is the only one that actually truly happened
- "Hi, Doris, it's Rock. Well, I'm not feeling 100%, but I'd still love to appear on your new series about pets. See you soon!"
- "It's a VERY brief nude scene, Miss Bates. It won't even be noticed."
- Hey, Kurt! Let me introduce you to my friend, Courtney Love.
- "Let's get rid of Lorne Michaels and start fresh with an entirely new cast. I think Charles Rocket and Denny Dillon will be STARS!"
- [quote]"It's a VERY brief nude scene, Miss Bates. It won't even be noticed."
I thought that was one of the most fantastic, relevant, funny, and heart-warming scenes in the movie, and hardly think it did anything to destroy her career. I mean, we know the woman is fat and you missed the point of it altogether if you think it was a bad career decision.
Sometimes nudity is not meant to titilate.
Juliane Moore's orange muff pie, seriously
- "It's my last eight-ball ever, Joaquin. I promise."
- We adore Paula, but viewers are grumbling about her. We ought to add a second female to the panel. It'll only make things better. In fact, Paula says she knows somebody named Kara something-or-other. We've never heard of her either, but let's bring her in and have a look.
- "Guitar groups are on the way out, Mr. Epstein."
- "I think I'll skip lunch today."
- Let's cancel ALF in order to free up that cat Lucky who will no doubt go on to better things.
- "C'mon, Vanessa. These are just for my personal collection. No one else will ever see them."
- Who is Vanessa?
- Must be Vanessa Williams
- [quote]"C'mon, Vanessa. These are just for my personal collection. No one else will ever see them."
Wrongheaded decision for all of 5 minutes - or the duration of Miss America fame (10 minutes? Is there any other Miss America you can name immediately?)
The "scandal" (so lame by today's Kardashian-Hilton standards) got her name out there and she actually had talent and looks to back it up.
She has acknowledged that the whole sorted incident actually catapulted her career.
Photographer should get a hefty commission
- [quote]whole sorted incident
- I'm old enough to remember the shitstorm over Vanessa's nude pics, which were actually tastefully done. It's so ridiculous in this day and age of celebrity sex tapes and other trashy behavior. If that happened today, it would be a big "whatever!"
- "Thank you for shopping at Polly's Pets, Mr. Gere. Enjoy the gerbils!"
- John, meet Yoko.
- R189 Unless it's a politician.
Anthony "Wiener" Weiner
- R188, I'm afraid we're going to see even more of this sort of mistake. Many people rely on television for their education.
- Tom Cruise. Nicole Kidman. Arthur Schnitzler.
Need I say more?
- "I'm thinking it might be fun to go see that new play, 'Our American Cousin' tonight, Abe."
- "Sinead, that autographed picture of the Pope you requested came in today's mail."
- "Fuck you, Shonda!"
- "I, Rock, take thee, Phyllis ..."
- Dr. Murray, I seem to be building up a tolerance to Propafol. Can you increase the dosage a bit?
- "I'm old enough to remember the shitstorm over Vanessa's nude pics, which were actually tastefully done."
Obviously you didn't see the one where her legs are spread wide open and her beef curtains are prominently on display (she also has a carpet; nude women had pubic hair back then). They look like a couple of strips of raw bacon. "Tastefully done", indeed!
- "C'mon Matt! We don't have any photos of us kissing."
- "Fuck the TV show, Sonny. I want a divorce."
- Let's fire Norm MacDonald, the last good thing about this show.
- "C'mon Flo,let's hit the buffet!"
Mary and Diane
- "Finally, a hit Broadway musical is made into a film--with the original leads AND original director at the helm!"
"Yeah! And Will Ferrell in the Brad Oscar role!"
- "A Bristol Palin reality show? It can't miss!"
- Not a wrong headed decision, but it's regarding entertainment and I can't create threads so I'm going to put it here.
Just like Latinos basically steered the election, they are now to be the driving force behind movie making, meaning they are now the market, not teenage white boys.
- "I think I'll open a theme restaurant in Times Square. It'll generate lots of good publicity for the TV show."
- "Bernie Madoff seems like a straight-up guy. I'm sure our life savings will be safe with him and we won't need to resort to doing television work to put our kids through college."
Kyra and Kevin
- This would make a great movie in the wake of the Obama reelection:
- Emmanuel, will you be my date to the Grammys? Brooke Shields insisted that I take her, so she'll be coming along, too.
- "I'm going to kiss Lisa-Marie on stage. That will, once and for all, prove how much we're in love with each other and silence all those nasty rumors."
- I wanna be Dorothy in the film version of "The Wiz". I'm Diana Ross, BITCH!
- Season 9 will be a dream sequence.
Bobby in the shower
- "I'm Diana Ross, BITCH!"
And I can totally pass for 24!
- "No, I don't think that's too kinky. I'm used to being photographed."
- "Almost there ... just a little bit tigher ... AAAAAAAHHHH!"
- Katie, honey, you just have to carry a baby (which you get to keep at the end) and pretend for a few years....and no... it will help your career, He's the biggest star in the world!!! It's all positive!!!
- Time for a little five-fingered discount! And the best part is they don't dare arrest me!
- OK, Tom, you've gotta show Oprah just how CRAZY in love you are with this woman!
- "Now, Christina, I want you to learn how to use a typewriter ..."
- I think it whoever chose Maryann Nyberg as the costume designer for the Garland version of "A Star is Born" Nyberg was awful.
- "... but the actress in the movie who plays Samantha -- she'll be a real witch herself! And so will Endora! Trust me on this!"
- It's a western, it's got an all-star cast, and it's directed by one of the top directors of all time, Michael Cimino! We can't lose!
- "Now Bob and Barry, we need to do something to show we're 'with it.' You're both going to be getting perms!"
- "OK, I think we need a fifth regular character for the four ladies to play off of. How about a gay houseboy named Coco?
"And since we now this is going to be a huge hit, it's not too soon to start thinking 'spin-off.' I'm seeing something with Rita Moreno and Paul Dooley. How does that work for you?"
- We'll make this really exciting by adding an element of danger! What if Fonzie water-skis over a real shark?! The audience will eat this up!
- Sure, just start your own network, you don't have to have original show ideas....just run old DR. Phil episodes and The Color Purple....people will eat it up!!
- "Carrie sings!"
- "And that way, Hugh, they can hear you and the original hit record of the songs at the same time!"
- The best way to make them realize just how real we truly are is to make a video about how I'm just a Bronx girl from the block! And you can be in it too, Ben!
- Let's throw in two characters who control the island making everything meaningless and then end up with everyone in purgatory. They will love it!
- Why would I want to sign a fat preacher's daughter who sings gospel?
- How DARE they demand I audition for the part? If they want me to play this Dolly Levi character, then can damned GIVE me the role! They've seen my work! They know what I'm capable of! I'D be the one who's taking a chance! A musical version of The Matchmaker? Who's going to pay to see that?
- "I need a break, my voice is getting tired. Diane, why don't you try singing the lead part on that new song, 'Baby Love.'
- "Don't worry, Carol. Take as much time as you need for that leg to heal. That MacLaine chick can't hold a candle to you and you'll be back in the part in no time."
- That movie of that Stephen King book, what was the name of it? Oh yeah, "Carrie." What a story: a high school misfit gets her period and ends up killing all her classmates! Can you imagine that as a MUSICAL? My God, it'll be something like nothing you're ever seen before! It'll knock'em dead! Let's DO it!
- "Two words, Faye: 'Mommie Dearest'. Two more words: second Oscar."
- "Hey....I have a GREAT idea! Instead of having pre-recorded vocal tracks, let's just have the actors sing live during the takes!"
What will kill "Les Miserables"
- [r189] so not the same thing
- Sorry [r192] so not the same thing
- [r233] Aretha was in no way shape or form fat at the time ... and she was so not Motown
- some of this is brilliant. some of it glaringly stupid missing the mark
- When Amanda Cellini replaced Catherine Oxenberg on Dynasty. Cellini wasn't even an actress was she? The producer probably said:' they are both blondes, they both can't act and no one would notice the difference!" Boy they were wrong, Oxenberg was the straight man on that show and she was in on the joke (camp factor on the show). Cellini was absolutely and positively clueless. Instead of laughing with Amanda Carrington we were laughing at her!
- John, relax! Get another massage.
- "Screw the plot holes, I'm Ridley Scott."
- "OK, gentelemen, the Globes are becoming a joke and losing any credibility we once had, so we need to focus on deserving winners.
So, we're all agreed on Pia Zadora as 'Best New Star' for 'Butterfly'? Fine. Let's go to lunch."
- Wrong, R-247. It went more like this:
"You-a give each of da members one-a thousanda dollares and we vota per tua moglie? Issa dat right, Signore Riklis?"
- "Huhuh...dude, watch this..."
- "Mr Shawn, I've told them how to do it for years, and it's time I walked the walk. I've accepted Beatty's production deal at Paramount."
- "Change my name? Whyever for?"
Norbert Leo Butz
- Don't worry anyone about this. I'm sure that, even though the nuclear testing range is 100 miles away from St. George and we're downwind, the cast will be fine and the Conqueror will go down as one of the greatest motion pictures in history.
- I think I'll call him ... CHRIS GAINES!
- Don't worry Anne, I'll protect you!
- r253 wins
- Holy shit, I forgot all about that whole Chris Gaines thing.
Nice try but no.
- r242, I [italic]know[/italic] she wasn't Motown. That was the point. Barry Gordy failed to sign her.
- "Let's get that JoAnna Garcia for our new series."
The showrunners of "Privileged," "Better With You," and "Animal Practice."
- [quote]"Barry Gordy failed to sign her."
- No [r257] have you listened to her early Columbia sides? She didn't fit into the early Motown groove ~ her first album was with the Ray Bryant Trio. She was young, thin and jazzy. When she moved over to Atlantic where she hit her own groove Motown would not have signed her she was too black ~ it's just not something that was in the mix on either part ... Motown was wanting to do nightclubs and movies. Aretha was getting funkier and more street ...it was Jerry Wexler who let her become herself.
Gordy would not let Marvin loose for another three years. Gordy didn't want her.
- We need to lighten things up a little for the prequel. Let's bring in a brand new character that the youngsters will like. We can call him "Jar-Jar."
- Hey, Madonna, hold this mic a moment, will ya?
- Well, we can completely repeat the success of "The Love Boat" if we set the whole idea instead on a train... no, make that: on a SUPER train!
- Don't worry about the scale of this wedding, Al: I can get everything for free if I just shill for all the companies providing services on my show! And even if Barbara should get mad at me: well, the show won't last forever, but our marriage will!
- "The reason nobody saw our movie is because they downloaded it ilegally off the Internet. Lets sue 25,000 strangers for roughly $1,000 each- that will set things right!"
- Abe, I heard Our American Cousin is funny. lets go to the theater tonight.
- r189 - "I'm old enough to remember the shitstorm over Vanessa's nude pics, which were actually tastefully done."
Yes, the two lesbian photos -- one with Vanessa's mouth over another model's vagina -- were very tastefully done.
- Nicole -- just back out of Mr and Mrs Smith and remian where you are doing reshoots of The Stepford Wives - this project will showcase your comedic chops.
Nicole - nothing is sexier than watching you shave a gorrila suit off Robert Downey Jr.
Nicole - you are going through a lot right now, just back out of Panic Room. It's a damsel in distress thing.
Nicole - the audiences will totally get Nora's meta take on Bewitched, no one wants a retread of the old series. Oh ... and Will can make any thing funny, and you, too, my dear.
Nicole - Invasion of the Body Snatchers is a movie that needs to be remade NOW.
Nicole - The whole world is interested in Australia's history and, don't worry, in the Outback faces don't move - it's a realistic touch.
Nicole - of course, Anthony Hopkins can play black passing as white, no one will find that insulting - it's great acting. This project has Oscar written all over it. Start writing that speech.
- I'm hanging up my cowboy hat and leaving Bonanza to go do dinner theater in Bumfuck, Idaho. And I'm growing a beard and never wearing a toupee again. I'll be back in 20 years playing an old man doctor on Trapper John. And one day I'll be an inspiration to Shelly Long and David Caruso.
- Radio won't play our records? We'll show THEM!