Yes, I know this is a continuation of the "freaks you work with" thread, but here me out...
I work with a woman who's basically nice (though kind of shallow and not too bright) who she stops by my desk every morning and talks (30 min+) about herself, what she did this weekend/last night, the things her mother in law does to make her mad, etc. I'm single and I suppose she assumes I have no life because she never asks me about it, she just talks and talks and talks..
Presently I just sort of smile and nod (she doesn't actually seem to want any kind of response) because even though she is sort of dippy I don't want to be rude, though when I am having a bad day/not feeling well, these monologues test my nerves in a big way.
I'm sure you guys work with people like this - how do you handle them?
"Presently" means "soon." It does not mean "at the present time."
Yes r1, OP should have said "currently" or started the sentence with "I just sort of smile and nod....
I have this problem too with a co-worker, but she makes the rounds and talks to at least 5 people for at least a half hour at a time. The problem is she's brilliant at what she does, so everyone just tolerates it. The best thing you can do is pick up the phone when you see her coming or start typing an email and look like you're concentrating intently and don't look at her when she starts talking. Say "wait, give me a minute to finish this" and then keep ignoring her.
It depends on how intense they are. It's easy to ignore/brush off or simply let it in one ear and out the other if the person isn't pushy, doesn't have personal space problems or isn't complaining a lot. I haven't experienced any talkers who fit this bill, so I haven't enacted my fantasy comeback line: "Have you notice that you talk an awful lot about yourself to me, but never ask me or anyone else how they are doing? I wonder why that is."
And for the stupid twat at R1:
pres·ent·ly/ˈprɛz ənt li/ Show Spelled [prez-uh nt-lee] Show IPA
1. in a little while; soon: They will be here presently.
[bold]2. at the present time; now: He is presently out of the country.[/bold]
3. Archaic. immediately
[R1] needs help.
You do understand that this woman is talking at you, not to you don't you? She is using you.
Just say "why are you telling me this?"
I shout "Get OUT!!" when such a person drops by my office unexpectedly.
Try this, OP.
I had a coworker like this. She would come by and talk nonstop for 20 minutes. She'd take a breath, and I'd try to turn the monologue into a dialogue ... but then she would check her watch. CHECK HER WATCH! Well, one day I got fed up and furious and gave her a piece of my mind. "You can go on and on and on about your stupid house and then I start to talk and you check your watch? What's up with that?!" She was embarrassed, walked away, and a few weeks later left work. Turns out she had cancer that was slowly killing her and she died a month later(nobody knew).
Yes, I still feel badly about it.
Drinking copious amounts of liqueurs dulls the school marm's senses.
Just stay away from the Creme de Menthe so your shit isn't green tomorrow morning.
1 (especially North American English)
at the time you are speaking or writing; now
The crime is presently being investigated by the police.
These are the courses presently available.
Help In this meaning presently usually comes before the verb, adjective or noun that it refers to.
2 used to show that something happened after a short time
Presently, the door opened again and three men stepped out.
Help In this meaning presently usually comes at the beginning of a sentence.
3 used to show that something will happen soon
She'll be here presently.
I am surrounded by these including my boss. One successful solution for me is to jump into the soliloquy and start talking about yourself. That is the last thing such people are interested in. "You had an Aunt ALice , well, my Aunt Alice, who was really my grandmother's sister by adoption. You see my great grandmother let her sister's daughter move in and raised her as her own so she was like an aunt. Anyway, my Aunt Alice had this crazy pet bird who used to say the strangest things......." You get the picture.
r9 said "I still feel badly about it." Judge Judy makes the same grammatical mistake often.
I love R13's solution. It's so benignly evil.
OED to the rescue once again - yay words.
Does she come to you desk the same time every morning? If so don't be there at that time. Go hid in the bathroom for awhile. I know it's the cowards way out but at least do it a few times a week to give yourself a break from her.
Fart loudly and then fan your ass.
OP here - thanks for the genuine feedback, snark and grammatical corrections (okay, so I typed "here" when I should have typed "hear"). I think whoever said "she is talking at you not to you - you are being used" pretty much hit the nail on the head, which makes me feel not so bad about being annoyed by her blathering. Thanks!
But when you have a blog that you never shut up about, it's really notice of an improvement.
notice = not much
Oh, you have a blog, R20? I didn't know that.
It's a common problem. I've looked for advice online and there isn't any. Just the victims of these motormouths finally getting a word in edgewise and bitching about them. It's irritating to say the least.
The worst are the ones who aren't entertaining or have no ability to participate in a give and take. "Oh, you have a migraine right now?" "One time about 7 years ago I had a migraine at my sister wedding and I was the maid of honor and I was puking trying to put the flower bouquets together and I vomited on a tray of finger sandwiches and on my dress but luckily the dress was ruched and pea green so you could barely see the vomit because I'd had some of those finger sandwiches, and they were cucumber. Now normally cucumber gives me heartburn but I really wonder if it was those fingers sandwiches that gave me the migraine. My sister so was so mad, she's never forgiven since her high school boyfriend asked me to prom. I guess I was always the prettier sister and she's always had a problem with that, one time....."
There are two coworkers who sit right by me and they talk NON-STOP about their kids. They have to show the latest "cute" pictures, tell the latest "cute" story about what their kid did, talk about how their kids' doctor appointments - any little stupid thing. It's so fucking annoying and it's every day! Who cares? Even if I had kids, I wouldn't want to talk about them at work because stuff like that really doesn't make interesting conversation IMO.
BTW, one of the coworkers is a man, so it just goes to show how some men are just as bad as the "fraus". I think he's a frau in training.
See if the Florida movie theater shooter is out on bond yet . . . ignore the gassy twat and just walk away and do something else. She'll get it after you do it about 5 different times. How does she get away with wasting all that time, by the way? Where's her supervisor?
This seems like a really obvious solution, but why don't you just shut your door?
I work in an office with a lot of youngish women. I've been there about a year and a few of them have gotten engaged/married in that time. However, one in particular is engaged now and for months, ALL she can talk about is some aspect of her wedding. I have not experienced this with any of the other women. If I walk into the breakroom while she's having lunch with her friends, that's what she's talking about (and she's always the one talking). If she comes over to my side of the floor to talk to one or another of her friends there, it's nothing but her wedding. Today she and another coworker (getting married around the same time but quiet about it for the most part)stood outside my office and talked about this for at least 10 minutes. I can't imagine how someone can think their wedding is all that anyone around them wants to hear/talk about for MONTHS.
I have endured much at the hands of coworkers over the years, but the worst one was a man.
He would stand in the door of my "office", which was a cubicle with one entrance, and put both elbows on the walls of the door. I could see the sweat stains under his armpits. He was about 100 pounds over weight. He would begin a monologue about his little league coaching, or worst of all, about his idiotic social clubs. He belonged to some kind of quasi political italian american club.
He would intone "A gentleman from my organization callem me last night...". NOTHING would interrupt or deter him. He was King of Bores/Boors.
Here's what I do - wait for them to take a breath, then jump in and say, "I hate to cut this short but I have an assignment to finish." If they don't get the hint and make their farewells, I start shuffling papers or putting my hands on the keyboard and looking at my monitor. If they STILL don't get the hint, I say something like, "I know, it sucks, but you'll have to excuse me. I have to get back to work now, or else." Then I just act like I'm giving all my attention to my work and none to them. Even that doesn't always get rid of the boors right away but it does pretty quickly once they realize I mean it.
Just remember, if one of you has to suffer - why should it be you?
[quote]Just remember, if one of you has to suffer - why should it be you?
There's a kind of genius in that which goes far beyond this discussion.
R26 Remind your co-worker that the bigger the wedding, the shorter the marriage.
R30, it's not a big wedding. It's pretty small and manageable. I think I'm also a little annoyed that they think they're so noble by adding something to the ceremony about gay marriage - and they're a straight couple. I find that so condescending and smug. That's certainly not the entire problem, it's just another added annoyance.
R31, there is one thing left to do. Become her best friend. Get an invitation to his bachelor party by convincing her you, as a gay man, can keep an eye on him and make sure it doesn't get out of control. Give him some rohypnol and take photos of him getting raw dogged by a tranny. Show them on the projector during the reception.
That is the only logical course of action.
Please let me know if you run into any obstacles, I'm really good with this sort of thing.