Or were your parents the 'time out' or 'go sit in a corner and think about what you've done' kind of parents.
Got my ass beat regularly but the verbal abuse was worse. Why do you ask?
Until I reached an age where I could be reasoned with, I was occasionally spanked, not hard, more to get my attention. I think the last time I was maybe five.
I got it all. Beatings, verbal, and emotional abuse. I can't remember the pain of the beatings but do clearly remember the shame and embarrassment of the hateful words they flung at me. A bruise goes away but when I think of an instance where they said something cruel, it's if it is happening all over again. Hope that makes sense.
I wonder how many guys that were spanked as a kid want to be spanked by a leather daddy as an adult.
I was, and, should I ever have a child, it's something I'd never do.
I don't understand the logic of getting to hit someone because they're small.
My mom used to sometimes lose control when she spanked me but considering what an abusive bitch my grandmother was I'm lucky she didn't continue the cycle.
Mom used 'the wooden spoon' and Dad used 'the big hand' as threats, but neither ever came about for me. Perhaps a few times for my brothers.
Never anything as civilized as time outs. Mom would just scream or be mean until she felt better and Dad just wasn't one for discipline.
I was spanked once.
I wasn't spanked. I was beaten. Father knocked out my front teeth and broke my arm.
I would have enjoyed getting spanked.
My dad spanked me once. My mom used to hit us with belts, appliance cords, tree twigs and anything else that might hurt (yes, she was a fucking bitch).
[quote]I don't understand the logic of getting to hit someone because they're small.
That's not the point.
I got spanked and don't consider it a bad thing. Kids can be assholes, and I was definitely a smart ass kid.
I knew the rules growing up and that if I broke them I could get a spanking. It is a form of punishment that allows kids to grow up to understand that there are consequences for your actions, sometimes painful consequences.
I remember my mother saying, "I am done reasoning with you, if you do this or that one more time, you are going to get a spanking."
It's not like she would wail off and slap my across the face. She would spank me across my ass with a belt and that was it, and it wasn't too hard, in retrospect.
You cannot reason with children. Their brains are not formed. You wonder why there are so many self-indulgent assholes today? Well I am sure most of them didn't get spanked.
No instead of daddy spanking me, I spanked him--it worked out better that way for both of us.
[quote]A bruise goes away but when I think of an instance where they said something cruel, it's if it is happening all over again. Hope that makes sense.
It does. I was a medical secretary in a children's psychiatry clinic attached to a teaching hospital. One of the shrinks on faculty said he'd been told that by patients who'd been neglected and abused verbally, sexually and physically. The verbal abuse left the worst scars and were the hardest to recover from.
I hold the record for the most wooden spoon broken on my ass among my 5 siblings. My siblings do not spank their kids, and they are entitled spoiled brats.
Yes. But it was on MY terms!
[quote]I hold the record for the most wooden spoon broken on my ass among my 5 siblings. My siblings do not spank their kids, and they are entitled spoiled brats.
How would you know? You were a holy terror with sociopathic tendencies, evidently. I have no doubt that continues today.
Only when daddy wanted to spice things up!
Oh R16, you know me so well! I think you are talking about my mother, not me.
I remember very little of my childhood. I do remember being slapped, spanked and beaten with belts. My father hit me when I was about 10 with his open hand. I fell down and was knocked almost unconscious. But the verbal abuse was worse. I still replay those words in my head.
And I have no idea what I did on any of those occasions to deserve the abuse.
Never mind about "as a child" I want to know about the cute men who get spanked as an adult!!!
NO, my dad was going to spank me with a strap used to sharpen large corn knives. I don't recall what I had done.My dad had my on my belly on the bed, strap in hand. The strap was about 5 inches across and very thick, maybe 2 feet long. I distinctly remember my wide eyed look at that device telling my dad that I didn't think he wanted to do what he was fixing to do. He didn't spank me.
Maybe once or twice. I was the baby. My older brother and sister got spanked more. All in all, we were pretty good and didn't really need to get punished a whole lot. If we did, it was usually the 'go to your room' kind of punishment. You know, to where all our toys were. I think, mostly, it wasn't really meant to be punishment - it was just a way to get us out of our parents' hair for a few hours.
Of course, this being a weekend and a thread posted in the wee hours, all of DL's most damaged, psychotic queens come crawling out of the wood work...
[quote]You cannot reason with children. Their brains are not formed. You wonder why there are so many self-indulgent assholes today? Well I am sure most of them didn't get spanked.
OP, don't be a fucking idiot. It's bad enough that you're making mass generalization about "Kids Today!" like so many other geriatrics; blaming it all on a lack of proper spanking is childish, incredibly simplistic and all-around ridiculous.
And for the record, my dad spanked me and my brother a handful of times, with his hand (on our butts) and only when we were being spectacularly bratty; my mom never spanked us. This was back in the '70s. I had a perfectly normal childhood and remain on wonderful terms with both of my parents.
Spanked all the way. Oh I miss the good ole days when spanking was ok and u really disciplined the brats.
Yes. And my parents used a wooden stick that had Bible verses written on it that they got from their church. It hung in the kitchen and we were often told to "go get the stick." I don't remember what I did to get spanked, but it was usually my mother doing the spanking. My dad one time was arguing with my mother loudly and my brother happened to walk in on them yelling at each other. My father took the stick and beat him so hard it broke. When they divorced, my mother married a man who would beat us with a belt and verbally abuse us. He then kicked us all out of the house and my mother let him.
At Thanksgiving she told me what a great kid I was. Um, well thanks for making me feel like shit most of the time, mom. Bitch.
Yes. My dad always sarcastically said "this is going to hurt you a lot more than it's going to hurt me." He would grill us like the Spanish Inquisition every time our report cards came in, and spank us if they were not all A's. They never were. He would line us up on the bed and take his time getting the belt ready to spank us so that by the time he did it we were a mess. My sister was always the hold out. She would never cry.
We didn't get beaten often, but once in a frenzy he slapped me and chipped my front tooth, slapped my sister hard enough that the blood from her nose flecked on the wallpaper where it stayed till we moved years later, and punched my brother so hard in the stomach that he flew across the bed.
It seemed like everyone I knew got the shit knocked out of them back then, so I never really felt abused. But I had dinner with some cousins recently who said how scared they were of my dad and that their father, my dad's brother, never touched them. They said they always felt sorry for us, which really kinda hit hard. We were older and always looked down on them as little nerds. Guess others' perceptions are never what you think they are.
The psychologically interesting part of this thread is the fact that so many DLers who were physically or psychologically abused as children, and by that I do NOT mean mere spanking, seem to think this is an "effective" means of child-rearing. Sure, if you want to leave your kids entirely fucked in the head...
Spanking forces surrender--well, it's supposed to.
True, r28. To this day I have issues that affect me from my childhood and the way I was treated. I, along with my brothers, became obese. I've finally started tackling the weight, but I often find that I have thoughts of suicide or doing violence to others. I never act on those thoughts, but I wonder how much anger I've suppressed at being treated like shit. I think since I'm taking the weight off (I've lost 80 lbs) that I'm having to deal with the anger more directly and it's hard. I realize that as an adult I'm responsible for my own choices, but when you are constantly told you aren't worthy of anything as a kid, you believe it.
"Spanked"? Are you fuckin' kidding me? I was beaten like a slave!
r28, I certainly never felt it was an effective parenting tool. In fact both my sister and I decided in our early 20's that we were never having children because we didn't want to continue the cycle. It did fuck us up, and we are intensely angry people.
Anybody else used to get it with a switch?
Yes, r33. My mother made us get our own switch from a tree in the yard. It burned like hell, and would leave welts sometimes. We also got the wooden spoon from her, which wasn't as bad. My dad beat us with a large leather belt though, and he was a huge man. That was the worst. My parents were trash, and didn't know any better.
There is a HUGE difference between spoiling a child, and beating or belittling and emotionally abusing someone smaller and weaker.
My mother hit me with her hands, spatulas, wooden spoons, hangers. My father hit me with his huge hands and his belt. He was also verbally abusive.
I don't have kids but I will say this: I think kids *should* be spanked. I don't think kids should be verbally abused but a good spanking now and again might prevent some of these asshole kids and teenagers I see acting out.
If you can elicit respect you never have to spank, if you cannot buy a mirror.
ALL spanking is child abuse and those parents should be in jail.
It's always an eye-opener to me (though it shouldn't be) that it's always the ones who fully realize they were themselves physically abused as children, like r14 and r36, who are still the ones who think more children today should be spanked.
It's really true that physical violence perpetuates itself from generation to generation.
I got a couple of brief smacks on the butt, never a real spanking. And I got one major smack across the face when I said something really vile to my mother; it was the reaction of a woman (of another generation) who was justly offended by a male. I totally deserved it.
Mostly I was reasoned with, sent to my room. I don't believe in a pattern of corporal punishment, but I think sometimes a little physical contact is needed to jar the child into realizing the seriousness of what they've done. It's more a wake-up than real punishment.
You're messed up, R11. Children can be reasoned with and they can also experience significant consequences that are not physical. What she showed you was that if she were bigger than you were, she could smack you. Consequences in the real world are sometimes like that, but when they are, they are often illegal. I can assure you that virtually everyone arrested as an adult for assault was probably smacked at home by a parent. Real world consequences can be life-changing, but are not often physical. The parent's job is to teach that, not to hit the child as a poor substitute.
My mom was the one who doled out most of the physical punishment. I was spanked by hand or by belt when I was younger but that stopped at some point.
As a teenager, there were some non-physical punishments, like the typical not being allowed to watch tv/losing the tv in my room, not being allowed to spend time with certain people and weird stuff like being charged for a phone call (circa 2000 before everyone had a cell phone).
However, what I remember most is my mom slapping me in the face, which was the form of physical punishment that I received as a teenager; that always seemed to be more out of anger than any desire to teach me a lesson. Once or twice, my mom also pushed me so hard that my head hit a wall. And I can't forget the verbal rants and occasional cruel things she said to me. For a brief period, I was so stressed, my nose started bleeding every time my mom verbally went off.
Over time, I learned that my mom had a rather difficult time growing up and I think she may suffer from some serious mental disorder. It still doesn't make having been the focus of her anger any easier.
Completely untrue R40. My mother did not spank me because she was bigger than me.
I was spanked. I was not beaten. You people's stories of getting beaten or smacked by a parent are downright horrific. I got spanked - never hard enough to leave welts or anything, but I was physically punished for crossing lines that I knew beforehand I shouldn't cross.
Spanking a child on the butt for bad behavior is not immoral nor is it abuse.
No, but I've been spanked as an adult
I was spanked constantly as a child, every damn day something set them off. I was about five years old when I realized my parents were assholes, and subsequent events proved that I was right.
Illegal in Scandinavia.
Quite rightly, you primitive US-Anglo fuckers.
Isn't the hetero nuclear family a great way to spend your childhood!!!
The spanking stopped once daddy saw my hardon.
I've only been spanked as an adult.
Spanked? No, my dad used to beat the hell out of us with a belt or an electrical cord or a piece of wood. I wish I could have been spanked.
My mother, Beah Loudmouthe-Bitch had a "spanking is barbaric" policy.
My step-mother, Ima Major-Bitch, slapped me once.
I mentioned it to Mother in the car on the way home from Daddy's, and Mother turned the car around and headed back to have a chat with Ima.
I do not know what was said, but after that, Ima never so much as brushed up against me. Ima did, however, take some pleasure in beating the crap out of my half-brothers, Dick and Etthis (pronounced EAT-this) Bitch on occasion.
My Bitchy Healing Vibes™ go out to anyone who was terrorized physically, emotionally, or however, by their parents.
I got the belt as a child when I didn't listen to my mother. No other type of abuse though. Stopped when I was probably 6 or 7. Have never once thought less of my mother for doing it.
Got the shit beat out of me by a drunk father. He died of cancer. He was in soooo much pain in the end. It made me smile. :)
You better fucking believe I was spanked, Christina get me the fucking belt ...NOW