I stopped at the Y on the way home from work to swim some laps. When I was changing into my suit, I turned around and there's this old guy standing naked right next to me, staring me down. It startled me, not because he was naked but because I didn't realize anyone was there at all.
He asked me something about being a workout buddy and I said 'No thanks' and went swimming.
I ran into him in the parking lot on my way out and he hissed at me. He didn't say anything, he just hissed. It was kind of hilarous.
Oh this is going to be good.
The ghost of your future past, OP. don't laugh
what city is this? i had something similar happen in boston area.
Maybe it was just his arse deflating.
It could be worse...at least he checked you out. You could be young and ugly. Take as a compliment.
Maybe he was one of the V people. You could have fed him a rat.
THIS. NEVER. HAPPENED!
Young guys who complain about being cruised by eldergays remind me of our 18 year old female intern. She came to work one day wearing her usual hooker clothes and was complaining about all the "old" guys on the train looking at her. She found it hard to understand that she did not get to choose who looked at her.
"He was standing there in the wet area, naked except for a polka-dotted ascot."
R9, I'm 34.
OP, if you had to guess, how old do you think this man was?
I understand that argument, R9. But what are these guys really expecting? People need to have more self-awareness. When you hit on someone really out of your league, you need to realize that there's a very good chance that they won't be interested in you. How would they feel if the situation was reversed? It's not totally different than when a 600 pound man hits on an Abercrombie & Fitch model. There might be some people who are into that, but the vast majority are not, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I swear, the EST's are getting lamer and lamer.
My question to the young guy who wrote this story....if it were a very rugged gym built dude....and you were swimming...in your speedo or what, what would your reaction had been then....dont lie...and it would have been the 2 of you......then what? He he he
I'm sorry this guy, obviously a moron, did that to you.
On the other hand, why did you need to add that he was an eldergay?
Why stop at agism? Why not also tell us his race, religion, eye color and whether or not he was cut or uncut?
R12, at least 65. Probably pushing 70.
[quote]Why not also tell us... whether or not he was cut or uncut?
A hissing foreskin?
Maybe he was trying to wolf whistle with dentures.
OP, did you consider that he was speaking in Parseltongue?
"Parseltongue is, when spoken, a hissing sound, similar to that of a snake; as such, normal people cannot understand it."
Also, were there cobras wrapped around his legs?
Ageism and racism is a touchy subject when it comes to sexual interest, R16. There are some people who aren't physically attracted to people of different races and ages, just like there are others who aren't into blondes or the very overweight, and there's nothing wrong or biased about it. I'm sure racism and ageism has to do with it in some cases, but it mostly has to do with people's personal preferences.
Hissing at an enemy goes back to Biblical times. It's still used in some areas of Africa. A friend and I were in a town in Guinea Bissau and got hissed at by a group of men. We got out of that location right away.
The thing is, I'm going to the gym because I have to. I'm not there for sex. Nothing about what I was doing suggested I was there for sex.
I was in a car accident last year that fucked up my right knee. I had to go through several months of physical therapy and swimming is an extension of that.
[quote]A friend and I were in a town in Guinea Bissau
What's the gay scene like in Guinea Bissau? Lots of hot slave trade?
So, OP, are you telling us that he was taking pity on a hopeless (if temporary) cripple?
Yes,I'm sure this happens to you ALL the time and you feel compelled to tell us all about it because you're...
Perry Mason & The Case of The Hissing Eldergay by Erle Stanley Gardner.
I don't believe this case was dramatised for television however.
After reading this, I too feel as if I were subjected to an Eldergay's Savage Taunt!
OP and the Eldergay next stopped at the local bank:
[quote]When you hit on someone really out of your league, you need to realize that there's a very good chance that they won't be interested in you.
Exactly. I'm always amazed at guys who are ballsy enough to hit on a complete stranger (occasionally me) yet they are too sensitive to handle rejection. They consider the uninterested person to be the rude party in the interaction.
OP, can you be more full of it?
All I was trying to do was tell the OP the title of my favorite Strother Martin/Dirk Benedict movie to rent on Netflix! It was my way of making amends!
Don't take these eldergay sex trolls lightly.
"A Shoreline man accused of forcing unwanted oral sex on another man in a gym shower has been charged with rape.
King County prosecutors contend David A. Lehtinen accosted another man in the shower room of a 24 Hour Fitness center in Shoreline. The alleged victim told police he was washing his face in the communal shower when Lehtinen, 46, tried to perform oral sex on him.
Contacted by police following the Aug. 23 incident, Lehtinen is alleged to have claimed the other man "signaled" that he wanted "more than just a shower" before Lehtinen approached him.
"The defendant said he believed all the signs and signals were there," King County Sheriff's Office Det. Casey Johnson told the court."
I constantly make hissing sounds whenever I masturbate. Which means either I'm really, really good at it or.....lol....really, really BAD at it.
The eldergay was standing by the pool naked? He was naked in a public area such as the pool? I call BS on this. Ys today would require a swimsuit be worn. In what country are you located?
Thread is useless without nude photos of Mary OP to see if she merits 'hisses'.
OP, if you weren't interested, then why were you so enthusiastically presenting your hole?
Hissing Eldergay at the Y
OP are you a latina?
I think the eldergay was the latina.
Are you sure he wasn't wheezing?
Amazing how many eldermarys are attacking the OP.
Stop feeding the trolls.
"I barely looked in the direction of this elder fag walking down the street and he stuck out his foot and tried to trip me. So jealous! What should I have done!"
200 posts later...
[quote] Amazing how many eldermarys are attacking the OP
It's a hissyfit!
I'm not old enough to be an eldergay, but want to be prepared. Does the hissing come on like menopause? One day you're okay and then all of a sudden you turn 35, get hot flashes and start hissing at every twink in the parking lot? What are the mechanics? TIA!
R38, did you bother to read OP's post? The eldergay was naked in the changing area, not at the pool.
From another thread:
Somebody trolldar'd the OP a couple months back and busted him for starting three or four threads at the same time as 3 or 4 different personas. One was a Galloping Gourmet thread in which the GG announced one of his many breakups with his imaginary bf; in another, the OP and his bf were still together, but OP was bitter about staying home sick while his bf attended a bbq; and in yet a third thread, OP and imaginary bf were blissfully happy together and had just spend the weekend visitin OP's dream town somewhere in New England.
WTF, R49. Who cares? At least this thread is entertaining. 90% of them are boring. Go to CNN.com if you want fact checking and hard news.
A woman at work hissed at another woman every time she walked by her desk and eventually was fired for it.
I'm a hot daddy type and get hit on all the time by much younger twink types who I am not interested in at all. Talk about hissing...you should hear the little cunts when they're turned down. You'd think you were at a zoo surrounded by snakes. Nothing worse than really young little girly twinks hissing their tongues off.
R49, that's not me you're talking about.
Look, people, I didn't do anything wrong here, unless you call rejected an unwanted sexual advance from a guy twice my age.
Was he standing on his hind legs with his hair straight up when he hissed at you?
"He hissed at you. What did he say?"
"He said, 'I can shmell yer cunt."
I doubt OP's story btkward things do happen. Yesterday the friendly old bus driver hit on me.
He said something I didn't hear. I was sitting in the front but had earbuds in. So I took one out and he repeated it, just loud enough for me to hear, "I need a massage and a blow job....From anywhere I can get it."
What do you say to that? I just pretended to laugh and went back to the music.
[quote]I'm a hot daddy type and get hit on all the time by much younger twink types
60 year old caftan queen who mistakes gawking for cruising.
I have a feeling all of the people hissing at the OP are eldergay gym trolls.
[quote] [R9], I'm 34.
OMG! You ARE an eldergay.
OP here. I spoke to a gay coworker today who goes to the same gym. He knew exactly who I was talking about. He calls him 'Long Balls.' He also said he has full dentures, but he usually doesn't wear them.
"There are some people who aren't physically attracted to people of different races and ages, just like there are others who aren't into blondes or the very overweight, and there's nothing wrong or biased about it. I'm sure racism and ageism has to do with it in some cases, but it mostly has to do with people's personal preferences."
I didn't say there was anything wrong with people being attracted to only certain ages and races. What I do object to is someone having the arrogance to believe it's an affront when he encounters a person of an age or race he is not interested in having the audacity to show an interest in him. I was also clear that what happened to OP is objectionable because the guy, who is obviously a jerk, couldn't take no for an answer. My problem is that OP felt it was significant to mention that the guy was older as if that were germane to the story. And I questioned whether he would have mentioned the guy's race as an illustration of why I have a problem with hit.
I thought that was clear.
Wouldn't most people have an issue with a post that went something like this?:
This black guy hit on me and when I politely turned him down he hissed at me. Not only mentioning the guy's race but making it a prominent feature of the headline of his post?
Wouldn't most people find it odd that the poster would have felt it important to mention that the guy was black? I would certainly hope so. And I would hope most people would feel the same way when the subject of the post is an "eldergay".
You mention an attraction to particular hair colors.
Would you also find it odd to read post that begins?:
A blonde guy hissed at me tonight.
Of course you would. You reaction was what the hell does his being blonde have to do with it.
The issue is not a preference for whom one is interested in sexually age-wise, race-wise, or hair color wise. The issue is highlighting that in giving an account of declining a come on and being confronted with bad behavior from the person whom you have rejected.
OP, you're a liar. An ageist liar looking to start trouble.
r15, the OP is not a young guy - he said he was 34. Hardly young.
R63, why on earth would I be lying about this?
Have none of you ever encountered elderly trolls who can't take a hint?
"[R63], why on earth would I be lying about this?"
It's impossible to imagine this isn't 100% the truth! To believe otherwise would be to suggest that some posters on Datalounge like to troll so as to get cheap attention--which is, of course, unthinkable.
The hissing might be a speech impediment triggered by the rejection in a locker room. I find it odd that OP feels the need to mention that it was a guy. Gender specifics have no place on the DL. The "eldergay" must have felt humiliated and abject by the rejection. He probably couldn't bring himself to speak, and could only produce a hiss.
Well done, R67.
Thanks, I'm an eldergay myself, but the guy that came on to you sounds like a sleaze.
Thanks R62 for giving us a huge dose of PC.
Now, to answer the OP at R65, YES, we have all been accosted by eldergay trolls in unclothed settings. I have no objection to talking about this in a thread, because it's an important issue...regardless of its arguably 'ageist' nature.
Old trolls are almost always men who were straight, married with kids, etc., up until they hit 40 or 50 or something, and realized they were gay, or are still in some kind of denial even in their golden years.
I've known many old gay men who were out at a young age, and while they have hormones and interests like the rest of us, they usually have more pride in themselves and their behavior and wouldn't be caught doing the desperate locker room zombie dance.
It even happens in spa settings where there is ZERO chance to cruise or hookup, like in some day spas that have communal baths with attendants on hand to prevent cruising. They don't get it, they are just desperate for attention, and are in denial that they are old and annoying, and that nobody they are stalking would ever be interested, at any age. Desperation ain't pretty, no matter the age.
Getting old often means letting go of all decorum and tact, for many. You just don't give a shit, and you are totally ruled by your Id...which makes some men have no compunction about leering around like Zombie Santa, even though they know it won't get them laid. It's a form of anti-social behavior, really.
The "eldergay wounds" crowd makes me laugh. They have no idea they've become Nan Michgynfyst.
[quote]I didn't say there was anything wrong with people being attracted to only certain ages and races. What I do object to is someone having the arrogance to believe it's an affront when he encounters a person of an age or race he is not interested in having the audacity to show an interest in him.
You're talking about this as if it actually happened.
R53 = more full of shit than OP, if that's possible.
I can't ay I've ever been hissed out. Sounds kinda creepy.
I was changing and saw this fat guy in his late 30s struggling to pull his swim suit on. He was huffing and puffing - I don't know why he needed the Speedo three sizes too small - I slipped and nearly fell on me as I was trying to walk by.
I said, "You look like you could use a little help. Good luck."
He gave me a look like he had misunderstood. I realized he was one of those deluded types when I saw highlighted bleach spots in his hair.
Later, as I was getting into my car, he sashayed by, still in his suit. Apparently he decided trying to get out of it wet would be too much trouble. I couldn't help myself. I laughed, but tried to squelch it.
I have the strangest feeling this nut decided I was hitting on him, or something.
This post wins funniest title of the day.
R75 is trying far too hard.
R49 is a hall monitor the most hated troll on DL
All gyms have trolls. All trolls are annoying. Trolls are not always old, it is a behavior that makes them trolls.
The old man is a cat lover. When you live with cats long enough you begin to take on their characteristics. I hiss at nasty old cruising elder gays real well, thanks to my kitty 'tat.
R77 aka OP is trying our nerves. And obviously it is a fat, unattractive OP going on and on, trolling. The hisses you hear here are for your performance, you ass.
What's wrong with R81? Is he out of Boniva?
Why does anyone doubt that this happened? I also don't doubt
[quote]I'm a hot daddy type and get hit on all the time by much younger twink types
I'm not even a hot daddy, but I occasionally still get hit on by people and he's right. They younger twink types are nasty when rejected.
I never understand when someone gets all huffy about being turned down. I always smile and "hey, no probem." And then move on....
I'm going to guess R81 has been called Long Balls by others in his gym, too.
My partner and I are getting very frustrated that the shower / steamroom area of our upscale gym is being taking over by overweight, creepy trolls.
Yesterday we were in the steam room after a workout, this disgusting man who looked like he could be my grandfather (except he was out of very out of shape) started masturbating while looking right at me, salivating. Every time we go to the gym it seems that there are more and more trolls. The situation is so bad that some of the guys won't even take showers at the gym because the trolls are always hanging around the showers.
I am shocked by the brazen behavior of these trolls, when you clearly indicate to them you are not interested in their "affection" they don't relent they seem to get more agressive. Many of the younger guys won't even go in the steam room anymore because they have to deal with all of these overweight, obnoxious and married (some have their wedding rings rings on...) men.
Any ideas how we should handle this situation? Should we turn these guys into the management? should we confront them? I don't feel that we shouldn't be able to take showers or use the steam room because of these guys?
We go to the gym to workout and use the facilities not to deal with people with bad behavior. What's irronic is that Chicago's has several bathhouses near this gyms locations.
Recently this situation seems to be getting better, I think a lot of guys started confronting the trolls. I think when they realize they don't get what they want they tend to go away.
Any ideas on how we should confront these guys would be great.
You type queeny, R85.
[quote]I am shocked by the brazen behavior of these trolls...Recently this situation seems to be getting better, I think a lot of guys started confronting the trolls.
Just put out TrollBait. It pulls all the trolls into a corner of the gym, and then you can hit the showers without fear!
I LOVE this Hissing Eldergay troll post. I laughed when I saw the title, and I've been screaming reading some of the responses!!!! From R1 to R86.
I used to blow cigarette smoke in bathhouses at trolls. It was a a self-preservation technique. One night in a bathhouse I lit up and started puffing and puffing until I resembled an earthbound cumulus cloud, but the troll kept inching closer and closer. I really didn't want to hurt his feelings and finally he sputtered and hobbled off.
Now that I'm probably his age, I realize that guy wouldn't be me now. I should have been more caustic when I was 23.
Keep the comments coming. Honestly. I needed to laugh tonight. (smile)
You know, the ones I feel sorry for are the nice guys, older, maybe a little over your comfort zone agewise.
They were the polite ones who said, Hi, started a little conversation, picked up the hint, and diplomatically moved along.
Or maybe they showed you a glimpse of a fabulous life, and you compromised your comfort zone and went along for the ride a little while.
Takes all kinds. I still don't know what kind I am.
Perhaps eldergay wasn't hissing at you at all, OP, and was merely a stutterer who was trying to say 'so sorry you're silly and superficial'.
Some of you, like R91, sound like troll apologists.
They aren't apologists, R96. They are gym trolls themselves. This topic hits too close to home so they attempt to hit back with lame, defensive put downs of the OP. It's just another form of "hissing."
"They are gym trolls themselves. This topic hits too close to home so they attempt to hit back with lame, defensive put downs of the OP. It's just another form of "hissing."
Oh shut up, you retarded douchebag. If you're dumb enough to believe the pathetic OP's tale of a "hissing eldergay" then you're as pitiable as he is.
"An eldergay hissed at me tonight." Will these idiot troll thread never end? And will be there no end to dummies who take this shit seriously?
[quote] Any ideas on how we should confront these guys would be great.
I think you should stand in the center of the room, gasp as loudly as possible, clutch your pearls and say, "Well, I ***NEVER!!!****"
Of course, this also means you totally can't slip into a corner of the jacuzzi to go down on that cute Cuban dude who works out there. Wouldn't want to be a hypocrite, now.
r98 - Why don't you think this is plausible? Everyone who has turned someone down for whatever has a story or two about how the other person has reacted badly.
I wouldn't know, don't recall turning anyone down
All these hissing queens are proof that gays are related to cats
[quote]Oh shut up, you retarded douchebag. If you're dumb enough to believe the pathetic OP's tale of a "hissing eldergay" then you're as pitiable as he is.
Written like an OBVIOUS elderly gym troll.
Those Eldergay gym trolls are so touchy
Miss OP and her coterie of cookies-suppressed supporters certainly have been devoted to nothing here. Nothing but the unappealing drool of self-serving, implicit homophobia.
[quote]Miss OP and her coterie
OP is female?
Are we supposed to believe this crap? Ah, NO!
"I can smell your CUNT!!!".
[quote] OP is female?
You're new here, arentcha?
Some of these replies are soooo defensive, I'm beginning to wonder if Hissy Fitz is actually here posting...
"Written like an OBVIOUS elderly gym troll."
Written like an OBVIOUS pathetic queer whose only social interaction is creating troll posts on Datalounge
"Those Eldergay gym trolls are so touchy"
Oh, give it a rest, you retarded little twat. This "eldergay" troll posts are very tiresome.
A "hissing eldergay!" Can't you come up with a better one that, you poor little fruit?
[quote]Can't you come up with a better one that, you poor little fruit?
The Hissing Eldergay (THE)
His Indian name would be Long Balls Hisses A Lot.
Eldergays routinely travel in packs, using their hamhocks as pestles in their strange alchemical experiments.
R115 must be a real [bold]BLAST [/bold] at parties.
eldergay troll-in-training (I wear jockstraps!!! at the gym!!!!) and I am busting my gut. this thread is useless without pics of hand gestures that accompanied the hissing
That hissing eldergay was Satan. You missed out on quite a wild ride, OP
I love how self righteous the eldergay gym trolls get.
R115, I'm going to guess, is 75 years old.
[quote]His Indian name would be Long Balls Hisses A Lot.
Hey, OP here.
I saw Long Balls again tonight at the gym. He didn't approach me, but as soon as I saw him (naked, as before) I started laughing.
He was checking out some redneck dad with his two kids. Creepy.
Just curious, why do elderdays hiss so much? When they get old do they spring a bunch of air leaks like an old inner tube?
R131, I think it happens when you stop taking your Centrum Silver on time.
[quote]why do elderdays hiss so much?
Don't worry, the Depends catch most of it.
I have to agree with R53. The twinks hiiissss so much even in regular conversation. A group of twinks pretty much sounds like a viper pit.
Are long balls like sagging tits?
"I'm a hot daddy type and get hit on all the time by much younger twink types who I am not interested in at all."
This has got to be the hoariest line on DL, every hissing elder queen's fantasy.
There's no fool like an old eldergay fool.
I know a queen in his mid forties who does the hissing thing. He fancies himself a feline AND is obsessed with vampires. Schizophrenia runs rampant in his family.
As a 48 year old I guess I am an eldergay.
I have never hissed.
Obviously I will begin immediately.
I'm also somewhat in my elder years. I tried hissing at a bottom the other day and the twink went all Betty Buckley on me! Total dick wilter!
Keep trying, R140.
The "gayling"/Jared Leto troll pretty much proves why people hate eldergays.
Someone is trying too hard to make this happen.
It wasn't funny to begin with, at least to this "gayling.," Why do I suspect the trolls pushing "eldergay" are all 40+ and self-loathing.
Well, it could be funny if someone came up with another story about an eldergay making inappropriate noises in a public place.
The patron saint, Sister Mary Gollum of the Order of the Hissing Eldergay!
I thought of this thread last night at the gym. There was some troll in the locker room when I was leaving. He was leering at some other guy, and the guy said in a loud, clear voice: "Stop staring at me, sir."
People started laughing, because the whole place knew who the guy was talking to.
[quote]were there cobras wrapped around his legs?
Couldn't tell. It was dark down there. Looked like a snake.
Seriously, out-of-shape gays 40 and up, don't be mad if we younger gays aren't physically attracted to you. There are some over 40 STUDS who can still get it, but most of you are delusional. Are you guys interested in average or below average 80 year olds? Same principle. If you look like shit, you should date someone who looks equally shitty.
I love this thread. El-dergays are hilarious with their delusion.