- My little sister liked to poop behind the racks at K-mart.
- And this I needed to know because exactly?
- The display toilet bowls are a favorite.
- So you won't be suprised when you step on a log on your way to the fitting room.
- I remember finding human poo in the aisle of a Video King (generic video rental store) once. Granted this was a shoddy neighborhood, but I was still shocked. Called it Turd King ever since.
- I worked at the Gap one Christmas and a manager who was usually very meek and kept to herself told us a story kind of like this. She was working at Express and it was early in the day. This woman wearing a skirt walks in and is the only customer in the store. She's walking by a wall display and suddenly they hear this horrible sound of liquid and farting and God knows what else. My manager goes over to inspect what happened and there is shit all over the clothes on the wall. The lady looks at her and says, "Sorry. I've been sick." and dashes out of the store.
- Sometimes it's just kids and asshole parents who let them run mad through the stores.
- This must be a straight female thing. I worked in hardware and auto parts and this never, ever happened.
- [quote]I remember finding human poo in the aisle of a Video King
God protect me from such an experience.
I once saw one floating in a urinal in a Paris park. To this day I retch thinking about it.
I really should not have clicked onto this thread. These stories are not for the likes of me.
- After college I worked in a bookstore with no public restroom. If people asked we could let them in the back to use the employee restroom. An employee would open the door and show them where the restroom was but nobody stood guard or escorted them back to the retail area.
One time a customer used the restroom and we later discovered the walls and ceiling (!) had been sprayed with diarhea. It was like someone pointed their ass in the air and exploded. I have to give props to the manager who cleaned it up himself when he could have ordered one of us newbies to do it.
- I would love to take a shit in a Fendi bag and then put it back up on the shelf.
- [quote]So you won't be suprised when you step on a log on your way to the fitting room.
- Yesterday or the day before in some thread (can't remember which), someone described being in a changing room at Macy's and witnessing a stream of pee hitting the floor in the next stall.
- My pussy stinks.
- There is nothing better than leaving an upper decker.
- I once took an enormous dump in a video booth.
The person who sat in it later called the manager in.
I realized that I might have anti-social tendencies.
- It must be the scat queens who occasionally post about shit-love being the last taboo.
- I worked at a large drugstore chain and had to call the police on a guy urinating on the chips on one of the aisles. Never asked why,,,as if there is a logical reson we had bathrooms available or he could have urinated behind the store like the homeless . He probably just wanted to make a mess for the store the clean up.
- Sorry - I know it's totally juvenile - but this is the funniest thread I've read here on DL in ages. PLEASE keep to poop stories coming. I need to laugh more!
- Why would anyone who's having diarrhea tendencies go out in public at all? Talk about operating without a net.
- [quote]I would love to take a shit in a Fendi bag and then put it back up on the shelf.
- Another woman poops in a store.
- [quote] I would love to take a shit in a Fendi bag and then put it back up on the shelf.
Peasants. Call me when you can afford to shit in a Birkin.
- Is there really such a dire lack of public toilets? Or back alleys?
- I'm with R20. I'm killing myself here...
- I once worked a 2nd job at a Sinclair Mini Mart. One night I discovered some big guy had pooped all over the only restroom in the place when I finally got the time to take a pee. He'd even wiped it all over the walls. So I was crossing my legs and hosing down and sanitizing the restroom for the next hour. People aren't animals, because at least animals (the ones that aren't in captivity) bury their shit or take their dumps discretely on the grass. They don't smear it all over porcelain tiles and finger paint it on the linoleum floor.
- A quick shit in a liquor store.
Hey, that's not Kahlua!
- woman takes shit in front of elevator
- I had a friend in high school who was working the fitting room at a clothing store at a large, rich people's mall.
She found a pile of shit and pool of piss in one of the rooms, apparently done by an adult, without doubt, and the person's underwear was also flung on the floor.
It's like...are the wait-times at all of the 20+ mall bathrooms REALLY that unbearable?
So now that we know this is more common than originally thought, I wonder if it has to do with anything cultural or of a psycho-social fetish-esque nature.
- [quote]Sorry - I know it's totally juvenile - but this is the funniest thread I've read here on DL in ages.
You're not supposed to find this funny. This is some serious shit people are talking about.
- woman poops in elevator
- Don't they publicly cane people's asses for this behavior in Singapore?
- No, just for spitting gum on the sidewalk, R34.
- Actually neither of the above, but graffiti firecracker possession are still punished with caning.
- graffiti *and*
- Some of this behavior is sociopathic, but sometimes food poisoning or illness can come very quickly, unexpectedly.
- I worked in a large LA law firm and we had a problem with chronic shit smearing in a 10th floor women's restroom.
The administrator installed a camera and found the culprit: a female lawyer who failed to make partner.
- r32 i'm with r20 i find this thread hilarious
my contribution is that i went out for a long drinking session and was desperate to pee. the last bus came and i was not paying for an expensive cab so I jumped on it.
i couldn't hold my pee any longer so i had to take a pee at the back of the bus which has solid plastic chairs which contained the volume of pee nicely, until the bus started turning corner and it came rolling down the isle.
my friend and i casually raised out feet when we saw it coming and the last thing we saw was it cascading down the stairs to the lower deck. i do not feel guilty but i am ashamed
- I love how the store shitters turn around and look at their mess before ambling off to the produce aisle.
- Didn't Barbara Ehrenreich write about this in "Nickel and Dimed"? She said that when she worked at Walmart she realized that this was the only time in the customers' lives when someone would clean up after them, so they would make a big deal of throwing clothes they didn't want on the ground.
Is this the same sort of phenomenon?
- Funny how so many of these stories involve women. I'm a guy, and my female friends have told me that women can be disgusting pigs in public restrooms, as bad as any man.
- r43 it is soooo true. i never understand how a woman can shit in the toilet and not flush and then the next person goes in to find a turd staring at them from them bowl (and it's ALWAYS a floater) there is NEVER any toilet roll with it.
they just shit like the youtube bitches and walk, no wipe or wash hands... dirty bitches
- I use to work in retail and people never believe when I tell them about some of he things we would end up finding in the change rooms. Actual shit on the floor, shit smeared on the mirrors. It was beyond.
- One time I left a store with a friend when we witnessed a woman who pulled up her skirt and pissed like a fountain in Rome behind a pole. She lowered her skirt and a bus arrived just a few seconds later, the bus stop was just next to the pole. She jumped in the bus and probably sat on a seat after that massive piss on the sidewalk. My friend gasped like he never gasped in his life. This tool place in broad daylight.
Skirts and thongs make it easy for women to do a number 1 or 2 on the fly.
- R43 In my experience, women have been cleaner in bathrooms of private residences (as housemates, etc.). But in public ladies rooms, forget about it.
- I used to work in a CVS with a total homophobic cunt of a woman. When I no longer worked there I went back one night, after eating Mexican, and took an enormous shit right in front of the front door. I brought some rubber gloves with me and picked up some of the huge messy turd and smeared it all over the door handles and all over the lock. This way when the bitch opened the store in the morning she was going to have to touch shit.
- We had a problem at a software company I worked for in Washington. Someone would shit in the hallway/reception planters, or on the outside walkway to the front door. Well, the guy doing it was caught--one of my reports. I had to sit in on the separation interview with HR. In the middle, the division VP comes into the room and starts yelling at the guy about how he is sick and will never work in this industry. How he isn't getting any severance and if he files for UI the company will oppose it. As he's going on and on, the soon to be ex employee stands up, drops his shorts and takes an enormous shit on the chair and floor of the small conference room. It was a small room. We were gagging. He wipes his ass with the paperwork he just signed, hikes up his shorts and leaves. Christ, what a fucking circus show.
- If the female roomies I've had are any indication, women are pigs at home, too. AND they leave the seat down.
- Funny you mentioned that r49, because Rosie O'Donnell did the exact same thing when she was fired from The View.
- r49 that guy is my new hero!!! what a way to go out.
- Earlier this summer, I was hanging out with some friends, and a girl in the group received a text from a guy telling her he had just found a huge pile of shit in a Dillard's dressing room. According to an acquaintance who works there, it's a rather common occurrence.
- I wonder what possesses people to take a shit in a changing room at all, never mind when there's a restroom right there in the store. It's just so weird and gross - must be some kind of mental illness. Like those nasty hoarders who shit and piss all over their houses like animals. Actually, maybe they are one and the same!
- No elevators yet?
- This thread is hysterical! I really needed the laughs, thanks.
- In the past month, someone was squatting on the toilet seat to pee.
There were feet prints on the toilet and piss everywhere.
Signs were put up on the doors to not squat on the toilet and to sit with the sanitary paper on the toilet.
We haven't figured out who it was or why.
There are 3 companies on the floor
- For San Franciscans. My sister used to work retail on Union Square and would tell me all the crazy things to happen including bowel movements found in the dressing rooms. I didn't believe her.
So one afternoon, she called me from work and told me to take the bus from the financial district to her job because of an emergency. I frantically raced up to Union Square and she showed me to a dressing room. lo and behold.
Her coworkers laughed their asses off at me.
- r57, that's something I've seen in past companies...asian immigrants
- This thread has reached the absolute nadir of Youtube.
- Lucky for you R48 that CVS doesn't have surveillance cameras around their stores.
- Forgot, The Casual Corner across from the St Francis Hotel. Not that it was germaine to the story.
- Once I took a huge shit on the floor of my co-worker's dressing room. He was a mean old man!
- r58, seems the customer found her own casual corner.
- Busted out laughing at r64.
- W[quote]e had a problem at a software company I worked for in Washington. Someone would shit in the hallway/reception planters, or on the outside walkway to the front door. Well, the guy doing it was caught--one of my reports. I had to sit in on the separation interview with HR. In the middle, the division VP comes into the room and starts yelling at the guy about how he is sick and will never work in this industry. How he isn't getting any severance and if he files for UI the company will oppose it. As he's going on and on, the soon to be ex employee stands up, drops his shorts and takes an enormous shit on the chair and floor of the small conference room. It was a small room. We were gagging. He wipes his ass with the paperwork he just signed, hikes up his shorts and leaves. Christ, what a fucking circus show.
An Embarrassingly Scatlogical Trauma!
- Funny that this thread popped up. I was at the mall tonight, in the parking lot of a high end department store. On the ground next to my car was an opened, crushed pregnancy test box and a giant puddle on the ground. I figure since I drive an SUV it was perfect cover for prying eyes. I did not, however, notice the test stick on the ground.
- A woman at work, a religious fanatic, wore a receiving blanket as a make-shift diaper.
None of us knew this until the carefully folded blanket dropped from beneath her shift one afternoon.
- Have mercy!
peeing as I type
- I like to poop in packages of new underwear then put them back on the shelf. Once I pooped my pants and swapped my underwear with a new pair in the package. I love leaving turds in stores.
- A turd! Oh, a turd! OH, BABS!
- At my work, there are always problems with women shitting everywhere in the women's restroom. Shit on the toilet seat, on the floor...anywhere but in the toilet where it belongs. There are three companies on the floor.
- Shopping makes them so nervous they just have to shit!
- I worked for many years at a large Department Store, and have seen all of this. I thank God I was high enough up the food chain so that I could just call Housekeeping to deal with it.
My contribution is this: Several years ago, my home was broken into. Whoever it was took all the usual stuff. TV, Microwave, etc. They took a non-working computer, but left the good one. They also left a huge pile of shit in the middle of the kitchen floor.
The Police told me that this was not at all unusual. I kept waiting for them to collect it as evidence, or something. I don't know what I was thinking. Of course, I had to clean it myself.
- [quote]This thread has reached the absolute nadir of Youtube.
Possibly true. But at least it's pretty far from even touching the "Deep Internet."
- This happened to my friend who worked at WET SEAL.
- How can these people shit on command as in the robbery anecdote? Or are they just so excited or something?
- My mother worked in a restaurant where they were constantly shocked by explosive shit that was sprayed on the wall in the men's room. This was in the 1960s. It wasn't the restaurant food -- the women's bathroom was fine. One night, someone didn't make it to the toilet. He'd obviously tried to poop in the paper pail by the door. The workers had to get down on their knees to clean the wall and floor.
- R57, probably someone from a thrid-world hellhole where they have squat toilets.
- R77, I've heard that criminals leaving a shit in the middle of a house they've just robbed is a sign of contempt for their victims.
For those of you that work in corporate areas and find unflushed shits (as I did), I offer "our" guilty parties: messengers and delivery people, particularly the hipster bike messengers. Leaving their "deliveries" is a strike against THE MAN don't you know.
- I get that it is to express contempt, R80, but still, how can they do it on command? Don't most people only poo when they have to?
- I showed my contempt for Chateau Marmont all over the bathroom walls.
- [quote] I've heard that criminals leaving a shit in the middle of a house they've just robbed is a sign of contempt for their victims.
I've heard they do it for luck that they will never be caught. R81, I'm guessing the adrenaline.
I worked in a public library 20 years ago and the shit-smearing/fingerpaintng and worse was always done in the men's bathroom. I worked in a university library later on, and the same thing. By far the most grossness was from guys. Sink poops in the university library was always from males.
- [quote] Sink poops in the university library was always from males.
Oops, I meant *were* always from males.
- Try cleaning up the bathroom or break room after Anderson has been in there. Talk about gross.
- We should have gone straight to Peck & Peck after all.
- Public libraries, particularly those in downtown locations, are notorious for (pardon the pun) shit like this. They cannot legally kick out the transient people who hang out there all day and the restrooms can get really nasty really fast. Shit, piss, blood and drug needles. I once used a men's room in a library and there was a syringe on the edge of the sink; I thought "what the fuck, are they saving that for when they come back later?"
- This the grossest but funniest thread in a long time.
- Bus stations are completely WRETCHED. I went on a bus tour just a few years ago in college. The only decent bathrooms were in St. Louis, surprisingly. Every other city? They may as well just had one big room where everyone just relieves themselves all over the floor, with no toilets or running water or toilet paper.
- Isn't it true that Sylvester Stallone is a well-known serial shitter? Like every time he stayed in a hotel he'd live a little brown gift behind in the shower or bathtub?
- When I worked in retail, about 20 years ago, some guy returned a coat with a piece of shit in one of the pockets. It was disgusting.
- It's the fitting room, not the shitting room!
Seriously, I think some people were fucking raised by animals.
- I worked at a Pier 1 in college. One weekend evening, around about an hour before closing, a woman with a toddler asked to use the restroom. I told her where it was. Within a minute, she came back white as a ghost and told me I needed to get a janitor.
Our asst manager took the customer back to our private employee bathroom, and a couple of the other employees went to go investigate. My co-worker Ben was the first to open the door and let out a scream of garbled profanities. It looked as though someone had taken a firehose connected to a river of shit and sprayed all four walls from about a foot off the floor about 4 feet up. It was even on the mirror. The bathroom was clean 3 hours earlier, and we were in an "upscale" neighborhood. No suspicious characters any of us could remember and no disgruntled employees. I still can't (and don't want to) comprehend how it was humanly possible.
Luckily, we had an awesome manager who called in an outside cleaning team specializing in such matters, as she said there was no way in hell she would walk in that room to attempt to clean it (She said she'd rather set it on fire), so she couldn't expect any of us to either.
- A little off-topic, but I recently went into a single-stall bathroom at a store, fiddled with my hair in the mirror, then opened the toilet lid.
There was a shit the diameter of a water bottle, and so long that it exceeded the bowl water. The smell started to waft, I started to gag. I instinctively kicked the flusher hard, but at the same time realized I must be stupid to think that thing could be destroyed.
Then, when I ran out of there, an employee was like "can I help you?" or something. I was so shocked from what I saw that I didn't really pay attention. I just frantically told her, "I AM DISGUSTED. JUST TO WARN YOU, NO ONE SHOULD GO INTO THAT RESTROOM."
Of course, then, all the employees there probably thought I did it. But I'm very tiny, so maybe not. I couldn't help blurting about it, though. It was the most traumatizing and unreal dump I'd ever unfortunately seen.
- [quote]this is the funniest thread I've read here on DL in ages. PLEASE keep to poop stories coming. I need to laugh more!
...and I can't believe it's not been removed yet! I posted a thread very similar to this in the past only to have it ripped down by the webmaster and my membership revoked. There is an unspoken rule on DL that poop/fart threads are NOT allowed!!!
And at this time I'd like to thank American Express for refunding me the $18 I'd paid for my membership :)
- Damn, this is some nasty shit.
- Re spraying diarrhea all over the walls... how is this even possible? I've had bad food poisoning and stomach flu several times-- we call it gastric catastrophe in my family-- but have never missed the toilet and never crapped on the seat, much less the walls.
When I worked in retail I saw the results of people doing this, even crapping in the narrow space on the floor between the toilet and wall. Serious question here... how does this even happen?
- Wow, what a shitty thread.
- I work in a public park in the summer. There have been several times when I've been told that there were 'presents' on the floor of the men's room. We can call our city maintenance department to come and clean it. But that sometimes can take upward of an hour or more so usually I just snap on some gloves, get a bottle of bleach and some paper toweling, and clean it myself. Luckily I have a cast iron stomach and never get grossed out.
- There's no way that I could clean up an adult shit from someone else. If asked by an employer, I guess I'd have to quit.
- I nominate this thread as funniest of the year.
- Do you poop out in stores? Try Vitameatavegimin!
- Whenever I go into a bookstore or library I get the urge to shit. Does this happen to anyone else?
- I worked at Macy's for about two years, and this happened all the time.
- will this thread go to 600?
- Now I can't help it but when I interact with people now all I can think of is "Has this person taken a shit in a store before?"
- [quote]Whenever I go into a bookstore or library I get the urge to shit. Does this happen to anyone else?
R103, the answer to this is one of the first "Straight Dopes" I ever read, back in the late 80s in the Chicago Reader.
Unfortunately, I can't remember the exact answer, but it has something to do with the fumes given off by aging paper.
Its a very common experience.
- [quote]I get that it is to express contempt, [R80], but still, how can they do it on command? Don't most people only poo when they have to?
That is what cracks me up the most; that people must be planning this shit.
- Well, R106, it is something you could ask at parties, or when you meet people.
- R94, LOL, David Sedaris wrote of a similar experience in Esquire called "Big Boy"
[quote]Everyone had taken their places when I excused myself to visit the bathroom, and there, in the toilet, was the absolute biggest piece of work I have ever seen in my life--no toilet paper or anything, just this long and coiled specimen, as thick as a burrito.
I flushed the toilet, and the big boy roused around. It shifted position, but that was it. This thing wasn't going anywhere. I thought briefly of leaving it behind for someone else to take care of, but it was too late for that--before leaving the table, I'd stupidly told everyone where I was going. "I'll be back in a minute," I'd said. "I'm just going to run to the bathroom." My whereabouts were public knowledge. I should have said I was going to make a phone call. I'd planned to pee and maybe run a little water over my face, but now I had this to deal with.
- "that guy is my new hero!!! what a way to go out."
Actually, R48 is a sociopath. If you admire him, you must be one too.
Anyone who shits or pisses in public places where other people are bound to see them doing it or the results of their disgusting act has very serious mental problems. There was this serial killer in Virginia called "The Southside Strangler"; while a teenager he would take dumps in various places in the school that he went to. And in the book "Sybil" it was revealed that Sybil's mother would take her daughter out on walks and, in front of the child, take dumps on her neighbor's lawns. She'd also poop on the floor in the basement of their house. So I'd say it's pretty obvious that anyone who behaves like that is very, very sick.
- I always thought Paris Hilton was a serial public pee-er. Because there were too many incidents: the Hawaiian taxicab, the limo service banning, the restaurant cushion, and the notorious TAO nightclub opening. And she mysteriously never wore underwear...
- Crazy psychiatrist friend crapped all over the floor in a men's room at the New York State Theatre during an intermission of the New York City Opera. He had just gotten back from Portugal where he picked up an intestinal virus. Shit looked like chocolate pudding and was still steaming when I went into the stall and almost stepped in it. Nutty doc left the theatre and didn't even inform the House Manager.
- "There was a shit the diameter of a water bottle, and so long that it exceeded the bowl water"
Honestly, that sounds like every shit I take every day at 6:15. And then, at 6:20, I find myself looking at it, wondering, "Now, how the HELL did THAT come out of ME?"
- How can people just poop on command like this?
Little kids, I can see. Sometimes they just don't know until it's too late but a grown adult - ?
But these stories are hilarious. People are nasty.
- [quote]Public libraries, particularly those in downtown locations, are notorious for (pardon the pun) shit like this
As a former public librarian I can verify this. We had a serial shitter in the men's room who would obviously aim his explosive diarrhea all over the stall to do the most damage. I felt really bad for the maintenance guy who had to clean it up. Also had a regular patron who puked all over the reference section. Good times.
- r93, the one I went into once had poop not only on the walls, but even had poop up on the ceiling. I don't understand WHY someone did that it and HOW. Gross.
- R114, Well, I guess I just have smaller intestines than yours...this was literally WAY wider than someone's large intestine should ever be. No one's shit should be bigger than your grasp could hypothetically fit around.
- I've been suddenly ill before, but the worst that's happened is me sharting in my own pants before getting to a toilet. The only excuse I can think of for not placing one's butt on the can (in time to avoid shit graffiti and such) is if the person is driving or hiking or something.
- [quote]Crazy psychiatrist friend crapped all over the floor in a men's room at the New York State Theatre during an intermission of the New York City Opera. He had just gotten back from Portugal where he picked up an intestinal virus. Shit looked like chocolate pudding and was still steaming when I went into the stall and almost stepped in it. Nutty doc left the theatre and didn't even inform the House Manager.
My God, that visual must haunt you every time you see your friend. How do you erase something like that from your mind?? How do you move on?
- Wanda knows.
- women throw their used tampons all over the place too. you wouldn't believe what I've cleaned up.
- here is a shit load if you will
- Why do people do this? Mental illness? Physical illness? Are they sociopaths? Fetishists?
- When I was in first grade, I had to take a dump, but the nun told me to wait until after reading class. But I couldn't. So out it silently oozed. The nun first smelled something odd as we were reading..But she couldn't figure it out, and just opened a window. Then she realized I was sitting in shit.. Mario the janitor, cleaned me up, and sent me home. I'm 53, and think about this often.
- r111 = typical self hating fag.
FYI: It was a Sunday after midnight in a small beach town. The place was deserted. Also, I was 17 and the person who had to clean it up was a rabid homophobe.
- Our HR director sent an email to the women I work with asking them to not be such pigs in the restroom. Like maybe flush and oh, don't leave your used sanitary napkins on the top of the trash. This is a high end law firm.
- R125, I'm only a few years younger than you. I went to Catholic school too. The nuns were such bitches, I think they *wanted* these things to happen. I peed myself in first grade on the playground because the nun wouldn't let me back into the school to use the toilet, and I had to spend the rest of the day in my wet school pants. A girl shit herself because in class b/c she was too terrified to ask. It seemed like kids crapping and pissing themselves happened all the time at my school because of the damn nuns. The star of the football team pissed himself in sixth grade! Thank god I left for public school that year.
- [127} High-end law firm! Bet it was the paralegals and secretaries and not the associates and partners who were leaving their bloody rags on top of the trash.
- Sister Collette in 4th grade pulled the same type of BS with the kids. I clearly recall a cascade of pee coming down from a Shelley Donovan's chair onto the shoes of the kid who sat behind her. I do think it had some sadistic appeal for her.
- That never happened!
- my best friend in high school worked at a sporting goods store. someone was coming in, pooping in the athletic pants then putting them back on the rack for other customers to find. they never did catch the culprit.
- "FYI: It was a Sunday after midnight in a small beach town. The place was deserted. Also, I was 17 and the person who had to clean it up was a rabid homophobe."
Hon, your defense of your actions is just further proof that you are one fucked up asshole. Anyone who did what you claim to have done needs to be in a psych ward. Please get to one soon, because you REALLY need help.
- A little off the subject, but relevant at the same time: I had this CUNT of a roommate one time. This old, blown-out alcoholic bitch. I want to strangle her, but that's besides the point. Well one time she had to go out of town for a week and while she was away, apparently her cat's litter box had filled up to maximum capacity because the cat began shitting all up in this bitch's bed!!! I hated that cat just as much as I hated the roommate, but when I saw what the thing had done to her bed I LOL'd my eyes out and suddenly had a newfound respect for it! It overjoyed me to envision the look on that cunt's face when, after a long day of cross-country travel, she walks into her bedroom only to discover dump after dump all over her fucking bed! BITCH!!!
- r133 wishes I'd shit in his mouth instead of the CVS entrance.
- Dog Poops (Not Bird) In Reporters Mouth
Oh my god.
- I work at a law firm. In the men's room there is a message above the urinal asking lawyers to aim better, and try to hit the urinal instead of the floor.
- R136 is a parody of the real video that happened (linked)
- R119, you are hilarious! "Shit Graffiti" should make a great band name someday.
- And why are there always some many curly pubes around and in the urinal? It's disgusting. Do some guys pull them out by the handful and distribute them around like rose petals? I doubt I've ever lost one single pube while taking a piss.
- [quote]almost as bad as a curly on a bar of soap
- R140, I have no idea. But my hair (on my head) sheds occasionally, and just this morning I noticed I shed on the toilet. I was like...what? I took tp and picked it up, because that's only considerate.
But you would think pubes are much more difficult to shed from their origin. I wax, so maybe I've forgotten, but...
- "R133 wishes I'd shit in his mouth instead of the CVS entrance."
Nah, I'm not into that. I'm pretty sure YOU are, scat queen. You definitely have an unnatural fondness for turds. For you no sex act is complete without ingesting and smearing all over your body the luscious chocolate hotdogs of a fellow coprophilliac.
- THIS JUST IN!!!
- Retail has been giving us crap for years, I think some people are just returning the favor.
- I have a friend who used to work at Dillard's and she said the worst customers she dealt with were Hispanics and their kids. She said the women would take clothes in to try on and let their kids shit and pee on the floor and even on discarded clothing, which they would toss on the floor and not bother putting it back on the hanger. She worked in the jr. department and she said the fat women would also come in and squeeze into jeans about 5 sizes too small and think they were sexy and hot shit. I think these are same ones we see in Walmart with the muffin tops and ass cracks showing.
- R146? Your racist post is why we can't have nice threads about defecation!
- LOL, I knew the next comment would be something about me being a racist. Just reporting honey.
- Speaking of Mexicans, I'm sure anyone living in California can attest to this: They don't flush their shitty toilet paper down the toilets, even here in the US! They just wad it up and create a pile next to the toilet. It's BEYOND fucking disgusting and really speaks volumes about their inability to acclimate to ANYTHING other than the filth they're accustomed to. How can we expect them to learn English if they can't even get it through their retarded heads that it's safe to flush their shitty TP down the toilets in this country!?
- Every company I've worked at has sooner or later had someone who sabotages the bathroom by stuffing rolls of toilet paper down the john until it backs up. Sometimes it's the mens, sometimes it's the women's. (I do notice that when it's the men's it takes longer for it to be noticed).
- I've noticed you can buy "poo pourri" from muac.com
- Ditto, r150. One day at work a couple of years ago I saw two women go into the ladies' room and immediately run back out and go talk to someone down the hall. Some filthy bitch had backed up the john and it had flooded, leaving watery shit all over the floor. And this is an 'upscale' office, not some crackerjack place. Maintenance came to clean, but had to keep the door open as they did, and that one side of the office evacuated (ha!) for a nice, long break because the smell was unbearable. Oh, god it was disgusting.
The culprit was never identified but for the next week or so people in small groups around the office were quietly discussing which lady they thought did it. It was too funny.
This thread is so disgusting, but I'm laughing out loud at some of these posts.
- R11 I'd love to be a fly on that wall.
- I have a hard enough time when people poop in the restroom, let alone out in the store itself.
- I misread this as "People who poop in stoves."
I got excited because I've done that and thought I'd have something to contribute.
What a let down.
- People who poop in stores ....are the luckiest people in the world.
- When my mother comes to visit we have to put a toilet plunger in the bathroom. She makes these huge, double-wide turds that stuff up the pot. I assume it comes from her bowel fixation which has her drinking that old style Metamucil in heaping spoonfuls every day in orange juice so that it will, in her words, "work me."
I've told her she can take fiber capsules or some form of dissolvable fiber
Iike Benefiber and it will not cause these wide-load poops, but she will not. "I'm afraid it won't work me. When I use the Metamucil, it works me good!"
It's embarrassing to have to plunge your mother's poops.
- "Work me"?
Sounds vaguely sexual.
"Work me baby, come on now and help me work it out"
- Dump ... I mean, BUMP for more stories.
- R159, We're all cleaned out.
- R20 again. I am STILL laughing so hard my eyes are watering - I just hope I don't wet my pants or shart myself.
My anecdote addition:
I used to work in a building that had a lot of Asian tenants. Because the building was a converted warehouse, the bathrooms were on the street level - but there were no bathrooms in the basement, where most of the Asian tenants had spaces (this was a wholesale jewelry center). Anyway, all of the women Asian tenants had to use the one women’s bathroom on the street level - and it was consistently DISGUSTING. As mentioned in a couple of posts, they would climb up on the toilets and squat to poop and pee. YUCK. They never lifted up the toilet seat - so (I guess) they wouldn’t be too stable squatting on the toilet (who would be?) and pee and shit would go everywhere. They NEVER cleaned it up and it made the entire first floor STINK (not unlike I imagine Cheryl’s dirty panty hamper). We tried everything to get them to stop climbing upn on the toilet seats and squatting. We even had illustrated signs in Chinese hung on the back of the stall doors to see if they’d “get the idea.” No luck.
- How did they not fall off the toilet? If I were to get up on a toilet and squat, I'd probably lose my balance and take a header. Asian toilets are holes in the ground, so they were squatting at ground level. Do recent Asian immigrants have higher rates of accidents in bathrooms? Getting off the toilet could mean stepping and slipping in fresh poo.
- r133 = hissing eldregay
- [quote]it has something to do with the fumes given off by aging paper.
Maybe that's why the Barnes and Noble employees are running to the restroom every ten minutes.
- [quote]A girl shit herself because in class b/c she was too terrified to ask.
That happened to me. I was terrified of the teachers at my Catholic school. The evil nun yelling at me in front of everyone scarred me for years.
- [R03] I think it is the squatting to see books on the lower shelves that triggers it. Try squatting before you leave home to go to the library.
- R149, I had that experience years ago when I had my basement finished. I smelled a bad odor in my powder room. There was a bunch of toilet paper in the wastebasket. I cleaned out the wastebasket (with my bare hands ) thinking that one of the workers had a cold or something. NOPE. It was full of shitty toilet paper. Nasty, greenish shitty toilet paper. I thought that the guys were being assholes, so I told the manager. Apparently the sanitation in Mexico is poor, and they can't flush paper. No one old them that paper can be flushed here.
- What good is shitting alone in your room?
- I wouldn't believe any of this, except for that video I saw of that woman just squatting and peeing on the rug in the middle of the store.
Her bf was the lookout.
- Okay, I get that some Asian and Hispanic immigrants have trouble adjusting to our ways but what is it with those women doing that when bathrooms are probably available? Is it just a sign of disrespect and deliberate or what?
- It's bipooplar disorder and it's no laughing matter.
- Celebrity store poopers-
- OP, I'm sorry, I love DL and the various threads, but this should be filed under: T.M.I.
- r173, what about the thread title misled you into opening it?
- Also known as "Creative Loafing."
- I have a horrible feeling that I inadventently started this thread when I mentioned disgusting dressing-room discoveries over in the Kohl's thread. Mea culpa.
- [quote]I have a horrible feeling that I inadventently started this thread when I mentioned disgusting dressing-room discoveries over in the Kohl's thread.
Kohl's merchandise fits that description even without the dookie.
- Why do we have TWO threads about people taking a shit in retail stores?
Bitches be STRANGE sometimes.
- My five year old cousin took a dump in the Monkey Ward bathroom display.
- Some of the videos in thsi thread reminded me od the fat homeless woman here in SF who I saw hitch up her skirt (not unlike I imagine the way some of you DLers lift up your caftans in the presence of a hunky Fedex delivery man...), and then point her ass into the gutter/street and have the most explosive diarrhea I have ever seen/heard. I can't begin to tell you how disgusting it was. The sound alone was enough to make you gag.
- [quote]Some of the videos in thsi thread reminded me od the fat homeless woman here in SF who I saw hitch up her skirt (not unlike I imagine the way some of you DLers lift up your caftans in the presence of a hunky Fedex delivery man...), and then point her ass into the gutter/street and have the most explosive diarrhea I have ever seen/heard. I can't begin to tell you how disgusting it was. The sound alone was enough to make you gag.
I've seen that happen, too -- also in San Francisco. Once in the Tenderloin, once south of Market.
I've been to plenty of other cities with a robust homeless population, but blatant street-shitting seems to be a feature of the City by the Bay (which I otherwise like).
- R161, unfortunately, I think what you said is true and I wish someone would tell them what isn't really acceptable in the US.
- [quote] As mentioned in a couple of posts, they would climb up on the toilets and squat to poop and pee.
Can testify on this one. My college had a lot of international students. Apparently toilets are a more Western thing, and I understand now that they literally couldn't take a shit sitting down - their bodies would be unaccustomed to it.
But *then*, at the time, we were just violently grossed out. Eventually we designated stalls for the "standers" or squatters and it got better, but there would still be caked shit on the floor from time to time.
- An old gf used to squat on the toilet to shit.
She said it straightened her rectum and that sitting is not the most efficient posture.
Dr Oz agrees, and recommends the sitter place her feet on a box to straighten the rectum.
- What amazes me about the security footage is that it seems so effortless for the perpetrators. Not a hint of discomfort, difficulty or hesitation. Like an athlete who has trained in his/her discipline.
- Had a horrible experience on a train once. It was a five hour trip, in first class. The preteen girl who was seated behind me came back from the restroom with a bewildered look on her face. She and her mother were talking in hushed tones. The woman beside me asked me if heard what they were saying. I said no, she told me - the girl had "messed up" the bathroom and her mother was telling her to keep quiet about it. She also found out the girl's name was Ann.
The woman beside me was pretty pissed off about this and decided to tattle to one of the attendants but before she did, she had to inspect the scene of the crime. She poked her head in, then looked back at me, nodded her head and held her nose, then proceeded back through the car past our seat to the nearest attendant. As she passed our row she whispered "It's a big long plop and it's all over the toilet seat!"
In the meantime an old man got up to use the restroom, took one look and headed for the other one. Another woman came along and he tried to stop her from going in but no, she was in a hurry. She screamed oh my god! and them puked.
By then the attendant was making her way back up and the old man was saying "it wasn't me! It wasn't me!" The attendant said, "I know. It was her" and pointed at my seatmate. She freaked and screamed, "IT WAS NOT ME! IT WAS HER!" and pointed at the girl, "It was ANN!!!! Shitty little ANN!"
And shitty little Ann started gasping and sobbing.
- My mom talked me into reading Laura Ingraham's book on what's wrong with America today, and while I loathed her political slant in several places, she made a few (stress on the "few") good points such as showering kids with gadgets to keep them "amused" vs. "We have a back yard. I suggest you go play in it!" My point in bringing that up is that she mentions having found toy store items (plush dolls I think it was) with poo on them. I had thought either she had hallucinated, or was making that up for drama-queen effect ... until this thread appeared!
- 'scuse, me, R187. WRONG thread. Unless the toys you mention have poop on them, this post doesn't belong here.
- A few months ago, I had to buy a knee brace at a large sporting goods store. It appeared to be factory-sealed in one of those clear plastic boxes with a printed insert covering most of the contents. When I got it home and pulled the neatly folded brace out of the box, it was heavily smeared with dried shit. Yes, I got a refund.
- But...R187 did say there was poop on them, R188.
- The most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my life was one time when I was walking on Central Park South on the park side when I turned my head and a homeless man was taking a big long shit in the park. And I got a view of him from behind. Talk about something you can never un-see! I dry-heaved a few times with my hand over my mouth as I continued walking. Beyond gross.
- [quote]By then the attendant was making her way back up and the old man was saying "it wasn't me! It wasn't me!" The attendant said, "I know. It was her" and pointed at my seatmate. She freaked and screamed, "IT WAS NOT ME! IT WAS HER!" and pointed at the girl, "It was ANN!!!! Shitty little ANN!"
I am dying here.
"Shitty little ANN!"
- Why didn't Shitty Little Ann push the turd into the toilet with tp?
Why did Shitty Little Ann fess up to her mother?
Why was the seatmate who reported the mess to the attendant the one who got blamed?
This story has left me with more questions than answers!
- That is true r193. If it was me who had an accident like that I'd try to clean it up as best I could and keep mum.
- Thank you all. I am dieting and have been struggling to stay on course. I may not eat again this weekend. So nauseated.
- Libraries are where the homeless go BM.
- In college if I got drunk enough at a big house party i would "miss" the toilet when peeing. BMing is another thing, though.
- I'm still holding out for a bf who doesn't poop.
- Slightly off topic - but still funny
- Another one.
- I feel like I've entered a alternative universe. I worked for years and years in service and never knew that shit bombs happened so frequently, let alone at all.
Now, as ever, you have taught me much about my fellow man, DL.
I thank thee.
- Shitty Little Ann - a DL icon is born!
I was forced, in 3rd grade, to continue "nap time" in what we called The Little Theater and I ended up just pissing myself. It was embarrassing, and 30+ years later I remember it.
I was a kid maybe 8-9 y.o. And it still was humiliating.
I cannot imagine the pscho profile of someone who would shit on walls or in dressing rooms. At the same time, this is bizarrely fascinating. I am shocked that people this fucked up are commonly around us.
I think it's a part of how little control we have in our lives. "You can't do this, you have to do this, everyone else is doing it" is the mentality, and any independent thinkers are ostracized or killed.
- I'll bet some DL Stews have GREAT stories about crappy messes in airplane bathrooms. C'mon, girls, spill it!
- [quote]Shitty Little Ann - a DL icon is born!
I can see Ryan Murphy writing Shitty Little Ann into season 3 of AMERICAN HORROR STORY.
- I'll tell on myself --
I once puked in the dorm elevator. Would you believe everyone elected to take the stairs to the 5th floor until the janitors(for lack of a better word) cleaned it up. Only my gfs knew who the guilty party was.
I once puked on a crowded dance floor. You wouldn't believe the looks I got. In my defense, I was trying to make it outside... with a little help from my friends.
Only once outside of my college yrs did I have a similar mishap. I drank way too much at a Longhorn's and ended up puking all over the toilet in the extra large stall.
Since no one else was in there, I left the restroom as quick as I could and just left the mess for some unfortunate employee to clean.
However, I have never had a shit incident.
- So if we're moving from poop to puke: when I was in college, my frat had an annual pajama party. So, one year my date (a girl) and I decide we’ll wear each others pajamas: she wears the hospital scrubs I wear to bed and I wear her night gown (I know: “MARY!”) Anyway, we start out drinking punch make with Kool Aid and Everclear (190-proof). After a few glasses of that, I proceed to start pulling everybody’s pajama bottoms done (no doubt trying to get a look at some fratboy peen). Well, the evening progresses and I keep on drinking. I somehow manage to get my date back to her dorm where she passes out– and come back to the frat house and continue to drink. That’s all I remember. I wake up the next morning on the floor of the head (bathroom), naked, wedged between the commode and the wall. We didn’t have walls around the stalls – just “open seating,” as it were...I’ve got vomit all over me (I evidently missed the commode when I puked) and I’m laying in a cold pool of puke. I manage to get myself unwedged and fall into the shower stall (also open) and clean myself up a bit. My head hurt so much I thought it was going to explode (a la Scanners) my cotton-mouth felt like I’d swallowed a couple of pillows. I later find out that I passed out on the dance floor and was carried upstairs and put in my bed – in which I promptly puked my guts out. When my roommate found me in my bed full of puke, he got me out of my bed, cleaned me up and put be in his bed – and he went back to the party. When he came back an hour or two later, I had puked in his bed, too, so he stripped me, took me to the head, and left me there. Lovely.
- [quote]"It was ANN!!!! Shitty little ANN!"
HHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I literally can't fucking BREATHE!!!!! hahahahahaaa
- Here is a video of an unfortunate man showering next to another man. He sneezes and guess what comes out....
- R207, A lot of dorm elevators now have security cameras. Kids who puke in them are fined out the wazoo and written up.
Dodged that one!
- And yet you can probably pick up your dog's shit without any problem?
- Well if Chanel wasn't so touchy about clients using the employees' restroom...
- More poop stories, please.
- I agree R214, I love shit like this
- r207 is Shitty Little Ann all growed up.
- I would say you are ALL making this up if I hadn't seen it for myself. I was camping outside of Delaware Ohio., I drove in to town to pick up some stuff at Dollar General, tis white trash woman ANNOUNCED that she needed to take a dump, and did so, right in the middle of the store for all to see. She then announced she was going to the grocery store and left. I just stood there in total shook! How someone do that?
- R 204, Was this at Moreland Elementary School in Shaker Heights? I was there before you. We used to call the Little Tneater the Smalll Auditorium,but Little Tneater describes it better.
- I don't get how this thread has not been deleted. I started a thread once called "Do you fart in front of your significant other?" and not only was it deleted, it got me banned from DL.
- Just this very evening, I was doing myself some holidaty shopping. I could not help but recall this thread, carefully inspecting each and every item i touched to esnure no Shitty Little Ann had been browsing before me. And then it happened. I got the urge. The need to do the you know. Not poop in the store--just poop.
This thread being in my head, however, did give me a aecond of pause. A moment in which I thought, "I could just go right here. I'm in this aisle by myself. I could just slide my pants and undies down a little, pull up my shirt and jacket, pop a squat and shoot a shit. If I don't fart, no one will ever know."
Thankfully, that insane moment passed and I held it til I came home. But, damn, Barnes & Noble was lucky tonight!
- Darn, R220. If you had just gone with the urge, we would have had a first-person poop story!
- This is my theory. These are people who are real self-conscious about others hearing and smelling their shitting in restrooms, so they dump it on the sly.
- PEPPER WAIT FOR BUM WIPE! HELP PEPPER!!!
- Darlings, why wipe on paper when you can wipe on a silken chemise?
- Or crap on crepe de Chine!
- I had NO IDEA this was a thing!! I had a teacher in high school who told us a story about finding a turd in a department store dressing room with paper clips stuck in it and I thought that wa the single weirdest thing I'd ever heard.
- I am R 217. I want to make it clear that the white trash woman I saw take a dump at the Dollar Store wasn't hid away in some corner. She did this out in the open, in the middle of the store, for the whole world to see! It was disgusting.
- r221, let's not encourage people.
- I have a friend who used to work retail, I should ask him if he has any nasty shit stories.
- r227 did she look at you in the eyes while she did it?
- I have a confession...only because I am drunk. My man and I visited a fancy resort in Bermuda years ago. We were having fun, and hanging out with others at the resort. All of a sudden, I had to shit. I shit on someone's porch, and wiped with leaves from bushes nearby. I still feel bad about the person who had to wake up to a pile of alcoholic shit on their porch. I was really wasted, and it was a long walk to the nearest toilet.
- [quote] I had a teacher in high school who told us a story about finding a turd in a department store dressing room with paper clips stuck in it
How did this fit into the course material? What class was it? Math? History?
- I'm tempted to poop in a Macy's dressing room and stick a little flag labeled "Trump" in the pile.
- R232, it was history class. Perhaps more relevantly, it was the last period of the day in a Chicago public school.
- I have a twinge of sympathy for the stories involving diarrhea. It's a lot different from an elective shit, I had a terrible experience in 1994 at work. I had developed bad cramps and was holding it as long as I could because I was embarrassed to use the toilet at work.
Eventually it got too much to handle, I knew I had to get to the bathroom, like it or not. It was down a long corridor, I tried to hold it as long as I could but the more my legs moved the less control I had over my bowels. I farted and I felt some discharge as I neared the door. I got to the bathroom but lost control just as I was taking my pants down. I soiled my pants, underwear, socks, even the floor and front of the toilet. I definitely deposited the majority into the toilet, but maybe 1/4 of it didn't make it.
I used paper towels to clean the floor and toilet front, I did a good job it looked fine (except for the heinous smell) but my clothes were a problem. I rinsed the underwear in the sink and threw them away. I used toilet paper to blot my pants, socks and shoes and clean my inner thighs, buttocks and even my scrotum.
I knew I must have smelled, I couldn't possibly finish the workday. I got myself together best I could and ran to my department and hurriedly announced there was a huge problem at home that I had to take care of ASAP. I didn't give anyone the chance to even ask questions, I must have blown through there so fast no one could have smelled anything.
It was horrible. Similiar thing happened one other time while driving. Awful.
So really, it has an urgency that doesn't care about any consequences.
- A friend went to a work party, drank too much, smoked too much weed, and decided to walk home to get some fresh air. Along the way, he walked through a park, found himself with an intense need to shit and no one was around so...
Several hours later he awoke to a dog sniffing his face, its owner saying "I can leave now that I know you're alive"
He was on the ground, pants down, turd still half way out. About four hours later, around 6:30 am
- why would you have a turd still halfway out?
- "why would you have a turd still halfway out?"
If I may ask, why don't you view it as the turd being halfway in?
- Thank you Dr. Feel, gave me a good giggle
- [quote] had developed bad cramps and was holding it as long as I could because I was embarrassed to use the toilet at work.
I used to work for this tech company as a designer. The data center was in a separate room, and had those raised floors. There were no windows in this room either. There was a guy in his 60s whose job it was to sit there and watch the monitors.
One morning I came in to the building, and it stank beyond belief. The door to the data center room was open, and a fan was blowing. It seemed the guy was constipated, took some laxatives, and ended up shitting all over the floor.
There was no good way to clean it up since it seeped through the tiles onto the floor below. I feel sorry for the maintenance guys who had to pull up the tiles.
- Jackie Onassis used to do this in Bergdorf Goodman. She called it "the First Lady Special" and would then run out the dressing room giggling.
- This horrifyingly fascinating thread reminds me of one of the most traumatic experiences of my life.
A few years ago, I hooked up with some hot random guy in a men's dressing room at Macy's in NYC. I'm tossing his salad, and several minutes later...I'm literally tossing his salad. He's super-embarrassed and tells me he's been sick. I'm spitting shit out of my mouth, furious that this fucker didn't warn me sooner about his sphincter being on the fritz. He apparently had a problem digesting corn too. I gargled a full bottle of Listerine that day.
- When I go on shopping trips,
Where else would I shit but Phipps?
- That's awful, R242. I hope it didn't turn you off rimming forever, though.
- I don't have a story about shitting in stores, but I have a story...
Earlier this year, the morning of January 6 to be exact..... In front of my house I discovered...yep poop. I have a pine tree right next to the house and someone decided to go. On top of it all they stained the brick of my house with it, it was disgusting. They wiped their behind with napkins and left them there too. I was pissed, who the fuck shits in front of someone's house?
- r235 proves my theory is correct.
- This thread conjures up that one scene in Adam and Steve, which I giggled hysterically at.
- Corn? Corn?? Now when did I eat corn??
- Stores should use specially trained dogs that will bark at people who poop in fitting rooms
- I love your brain r251
- Oh my sweet lord, R242, that is the most horrendous story I have ever heard.
I hope you've healed.
- I worked in a dairy when I was a teenager and one of the men there used to take a half-pint of lemonade from the St. Agatha Catholic School crates waiting to be delivered, drink it, piss in it, reseal it and put it back into the crate.
No complaints were ever received.
- A kid I knew in high school (St. Francis de Sales - I'm R254 and from a Catholic town) used to hang out in the Target store. He had a copro fetish and would walk up to old people and children, bend over pretending to shop, and bark out the meannest, greasiest farts imaginable. I caught him doing it once - he was very fat and later was diagnosed with schizophrenia. His brother knew all about it and would share stories. Apparently he also was a public shitter - he was caught in the store after leaving a mess once and was banned for life. It didn't stop him.
He wouldn't squat, his brother said. He wear a coat with long vent in the back, back up to a shelf, pull the coat back open and lean forward, parking his calling cards on the shelf. I didn't ask what part of the store he favored - by the Little Debbie's? In the candy aisles beside the Tootsie Rolls?
- Last one - the Woolworth's in our neighborhood had a running problem. Not with defecators/defacatrices, but with a serial bloody tampon and Tampax deliverer. Every month. They figured she'd wear a long skirt and just work up a "release and drop" and kick it off to the side. They never caught her. The women who worked there HATED the experience of discovery and clean up, as the offending bitch was a real bleeder.
- [quote] bend over pretending to shop, and bark out the meannest, greasiest farts imaginable
One brother did that one day, when he was five or six. We were in Newberry's store and he was going up to people and farting on them. He'd swallow some air, go, "Hey lady!" and let one rip. But one time pushed a bit too hard and... oops!
My mother was furious but she bought some underpants and a face cloth and dragged us up the stairs to the bathroom. One the way up he said "It fell out!" Sure enough, there it was, a dollop of shit. Mom shusshed us and hurried us up to the restrooms.
When we came back it was smeared all over the stairs.
- [quote]One the way up he said "It fell out!" Sure enough, there it was, a dollop of shit. Mom shusshed us and hurried us up to the restrooms.
Shitty Little Andy
- "This thread is useless without pics" DOES NOT apply to this thread!
- I will never trust anyone who wears a long coat or long skirt again after R255/256's posts.
- [quote]I had a teacher in high school who told us a story about finding a turd in a department store dressing room with paper clips stuck in it
Undoubtedly an objet d'art by a disturbed artist.
- I'd love to see a combination of this thread with "department stores from your childhood."
- R262, by the name of James Franco.
- R262: Which came first, "Piss Christ" or "Poop Paperclip"? Someone might have a case for theft of intellectual property here.
- I would love to take a shit in Macy's window.
- [quote]I had a teacher in high school who told us a story about finding a turd in a department store dressing room with paper clips stuck in it
Paper clips? When did I eat paper clips?
- When I was a teenager, I worked at a movie theater chain (AMC). One of the duties of ushers was to clean the bathroom. People are disgusting. They don't flush the toilet. They don't clean up after themselves. Numerous times the toilet seats would have urine on it and the person didn't bother to wipe it off.
As for doing the #2... let's just say I've seen my fair share of explosive diarrhea. I really hated working for the public.
- I did it.
I was 12 and I shit on the bathroom floor at the Tigard Cinema in Portland.
I just felt like it.
- Dump - I mean "bump" for more pooping in stores stories.
- This thread cracks me up.
- I'm laughing out loud reading these threads...Much more funny than any Will Farrell film that's for sure !
- This is why all shop girls need guns.
- There was an explosive shat at my place of work on Thursday. Never seen anything like it. Easily six feet up on the wall. I don't know how anyone could have that happen, but even when I have diarrhea I manage to make it in the bowl.
Thought I smelled shit in my office earlier...guess I did.
- [quote] This is why all shop girls need guns.
To fight the gunnarhea
- How about people who leave shitty underwear in public?
Why is it every time I take a walk in the woods or in a city park I find shitty underwear?
- What about people who poop at gyms before they work out? That's interesting...
- [quote]Speaking of Mexicans, I'm sure anyone living in California can attest to this: They don't flush their shitty toilet paper down the toilets, even here in the US!
I live in Texas and can attest to it as well. They also don't wash their hands after defecating. It is entirely because you're not supposed to flush TP in many parts of Mexico & Central America.
- R277, do they poop in their shorts before working out?
- Twinks poop in stores. Bears shit in the woods.
- R278, apparently it happens in The Hamptons as well. Years ago I remember Star Jones discussing it on The View. She was talking about her vacation home in The Hamptons, and how stressed her septic system gets when large groups of guests show up. She said the standard "if it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down" which is a somewhat commonplace from people with summer properties. But then she went on to say that she instructed her guests to put their used skiddy toilet paper in a waste basket instead of the toilet.
- No, R279, I don't think they do at least. They just take a dump and then go work out after they have taken a dump. I mean sweating after you just took a dump?
- [quote]But then she went on to say that she instructed her guests to put their used skiddy toilet paper in a waste basket instead of the toilet.
That's because some people want to flush after they've stuffed the bowl with toilet paper after trying to wipe every speck of poop off their crack.
To prevent stressing your septic system (and possibly clogging your toilet), wipe and flush in increments if you find that your cling-ons are being particularly stubborn.
Also, always flush with the lid down to prevent poop particles from flying up into the area and thereby contaminating surrounding articles, such as your toothbrush.
- Recommended reading...
- I'm thinking of going over to Macy's and making my shit part of the "Martha Stewart Collection".
- [quote]What about people who poop at gyms before they work out? That's interesting...
I had a personal trainer who would excuse himself in the middle of our session for ten minutes to poop. Did it several times. I guess his regular movement just coincided with my appointment time.
- There are videos on YouTube of the most classy-looking young career girls in pencil skirts and neat office blouses, squatting down and pooping in office elevators, then just walking out without a backwards glance, as if it's totally natural.
I think there's more levels of mental illness out there than anyone ever realises.
- The woman who organizes our church cleaning days had a gastric by-pass and now has chronic diarrhea.
She's always the first to arrive and we can always tell which toilet she's used. She has a "signature".
- We call that 'spray painting the toilet', r288.
- R255, did you attend deSales in Louisville?
I'm asking because I attended St. Xavier there, the same Catholic high school as that wacko, Thomas Mapother (aka Tom Cruise) attended. I wanted to go to Trinity, but my parents refused. Never heard of your schizo acquaintance, though.
And yes, as one contributor here adroitly mentioned, the mental health problem in the USA is serious. Furthermore, the care for it is woefully inadequate. The stories in this thread are only the tip of the iceberg.
Please don't disrespect homeless people; the majority of America's homeless are mentally ill without access to proper treatment.
- All I want for Christmas is MORE POOP STORIES!!!
- I went to a Mexican Restaurant in Nashville a few weeks back on business. Went to the men's room and sure enough, there was a sign over the toilet - "Please Poop in Toilet". First one I'd ever seen. LOL... I immediately thought of this thread.
- R292, thanks for a very much needed laugh and happy holidays!
- I remember when Joey Heatherton pooped behing a rack of markdowns in Bonwit Teller.
- PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE more POOP stories. I need a good laugh, girls.
- When I was very little, we lived next to an old school. One of those gorgeous old brick school buildings built in the late 1800s. It's since been converted to expensive condos, but when I was a toddler, it was used by the school district as a school for special needs students. Back then, they were just referred to as "retarded" or "mentally handicapped."
I think they were teens or maybe even a little older, but we saw very little of the students; there was a high wooden fence between our property and the school, plus the blinds were usually pulled shut on the classrooms.
There were these narrow iron balconies that led to the fire escapes. These balconies overlooked our backyard. And, every now and then, a student would somehow get outside onto the balconies and take a dump over the rail. Right into our backyard. It never happened while I was outside playing, but I remember one incident were my mother and aunt went out to fill my kiddie pool and found a turd had landed in it.
- Jesus R296, cut to the chase!
- On the first day of school, in 1st grade, I got a lunchbox that I picked out myself.
When we opened it, guess what?
Someone had already packed it.
you'll love it at KMart
- Not in a store, but when I worked in a nightclub, I was fixing a broken toilet in the female toilets. In the cubicle, someone had left her panties on the floor- from their position, she had simply stepped out of them. There was a fulsome lump of turd smeared all over the gusset.
As I left the cubicle, a group of screeching drunk women and wailed that a guy shouldn't be in the ladies and they had their modesty to think of. I had a rod with the shitty panties caught on the end so that I could throw them away. I hurled the panties at the feet of the awful, cheap girls and replied "here you go, while we're talking about modesty, one of you forget to pick up these".
- r299 has me rotflmao. "a fulsome lump" indeed.
- I've never seen this in Europe, or any other first world place. Wtf????? But it's funny as hell thanks OP
- [quote][R299] has me rotflmao. "a fulsome lump" indeed.
It was fulsome, but not very healthy looking. No surprise as one of them had run in to the toilets vomiting into her cupped hands then throwing it into the sink.
- I once had to take a toilet-clogging dump in a Burger King. When I flushed the toilet it overflowed, and I made a hasty exit. I felt very bad for the person who had to clean up after me. Oops. I don't eat fast food anymore.
- R298's story made me laugh and want to puke at the same time. Well done!
- [quote]I've never seen this in Europe, or any other first world place. Wtf?????
That doesn't mean it doesn't happen in Europe. I had no idea this sort of thing happened [italic]anywhere[/italic] in the world.
- We had a messy dumper at my last job. Three small companies shared the restrooms on our floor. Someone would "projectile-shit" all over one of the men's toilets on a regular basis. The janitor and I were friendly/chat buds, he told me he pretty much knew who it was -- an Indian guy working for one of the other companies.
It seems like a very perv-aggro thing to do, to make other people have to see that and smell it and clean it up. I mean, you could only have created the mess this guy did, if you deliberately aimed your butthole elsewhere than down into the bowl.
- That's some winsome prose, Ms. Austen.
- [quote]I've never seen this in Europe
It's very common in Marsovia. That's where it got started and spread throughout the Balkans.
- [quote] I had developed bad cramps and was holding it as long as I could because I was embarrassed to use the toilet at work.
This is an excellent example illustrating why I don't understand people who are too embarrassed, ashamed, or other, to have a BM at the workplace. Actually, that's not accurate. In theory, I understand why people would want to avoid doing this, yet in actuality, it seems so impractical and anal, and indicative of major hang ups.
[quote]Several hours later he awoke to a dog sniffing his face, its owner saying "I can leave now that I know you're alive"
[quote]He was on the ground, pants down, turd still half way out. About four hours later, around 6:30 am
Laughing my ass off at this entire image!!! Both the dog and its owner were likely thinking, "What the fuck???"
- My grandfather was a janitor at JC Penny's a few years ago and I recall his complaints about old people going into the restrooms and literally spraying the walls with shit.
He also said that people left behind adult turds and dirty diapers in the fitting room stalls.
He couldn't understand why or how anyone would want to do that in public since it wasn't a single stalled restroom.
- [quote]Years ago I remember Star Jones discussing it on The View.
She's such a motherfucking slob.
How did the Janitor know it was the Indian guy? Or did he just have some sort of prejudice against Indians and say it was him?
- I worked at a video store. We used to keep the bathroom unlocked. Someone diarrhea'd on the wall of the customer's bathroom. The store manager was very hurt and disappointed. We began handing out the key to people that asked to use it, hoping it would inspire mercy in their hearts. It happened again. The people that went in were inconspicuous middle class white folks.
- I'll continue sitting, thank you.
- [quote]The store manager was very hurt and disappointed.
- [quote]How did the Janitor know it was the Indian guy? Or did he just have some sort of prejudice against Indians and say it was him?
His coworkers ratted him out to the janitor when the janitor was talking with them. They were not 100% sure but had a "strong hunch." I didn't want more details...
- R306, now I'm thinking about Peter Sellers in The Party - the bathroom scene.
Sounds like the office just hated the Indian guy.
- This isnt about a store but i went and pooped the bed next to a girl i was dating for bout a month. I was sick. She didnt wake up.
- [quote]She didnt wake up.
- This thread is my absolute favorite. I can't stop laughing.
I'm hoping more of you have these kinds of encounters to report back on... I however, hope to never see this for myself, ever.
- I saw it on the street once in London- Kensal Rise. It was a cold night and the shit was steaming. She sat on her haunches, lifted her skirt and dumped. Then she stood up with her head held high and walked.
- I bet Oprah seriously considered pooping at the Hermes Paris store
- Shitty Little Ann: The Movie!
- Hilarious R324
- Not sure if this was posted already
- We need more stories.
- I love you, r324.
- We need more stories!
- A blind item was revealed by cdan recently about Fantasia lifting up her skirt and taking a dump in the corner at a party.
- Even happens in the suburbs.
- MORE POOPING IN STORES STORIES, PLEASE!!!!!!
- Where do you guys live?! These pooping in store stories are fucking crazy!
I worked at a retail store during high-school and not once did I ever witness anyone poop out on the floor in the stores. Yes, there were lots of curry smelling Indians coming in but no pooping, nope.
- Watch the guy in the red shirt.
- OMG r299 has me in stitches
- I worked at a Barnes and Noble and we had at least half a dozen phantom poopers during my years there.
One in the kids section.
One IN the bathroom but not in a toilet.
One waiting for us at our front entrance one morning.
Once, in one of those big puffy chairs all the stores have (and, if you notice, no longer do).
- I once found poop on the wall on the 18th floor in a stairway in the condo building at the location below:
- [quote]I once saw one floating in a urinal in a Paris park. To this day I retch thinking about it.
I was once similarly traumatized by the site of a tomato smashed on the floor of a grocery store.
- Did you ever think that sometimes a toddler might be doing this pooping?
- I teach lessons at a music store where each of us has a little 5x6 glassed in studio. I was standing around waiting for a kid when another teacher walked up and said, "You know Ron* just shat his pants, right?"
Apparently Ron had food poisoning but tried to tough it out at work and ended up soiling himself, a chair, and the carpet in his studio with explosive diarrhea. I caught the tail end of it, after Ron was sent home, his student was given a month of free lessons, and the assistant managers all drew straws to see who was on cleanup. It was, of course, the only studio with a window to the street as well.
*Name changed to protect the incontinent.
- R339 It would have to be the most constipated toddler ever.
Some of these turds are bigger than a baby!
- The biggest pile of poop is in a shopping center in Barcelona, Spain in December. As we've mentioned at DL for the past few Decembers, it's a tradition for them to have a pooping shepherd in their Spanish nativity scenes. The caganer is usually hidden behind a bush in the scene. In Barcelona, the mall has a caganer figure that is 19 feet tall, with a pile of poop on the floor below his bare bottom.
- More Barcelona poop.
- You just made my day, r324. I'm a bit worried Poopy is fapping to these funny but disconcerting tales.
- I tried pooping in our local Walmart the other day behind a rack of mark-downs in sportswear. It was really fun.
- It was my first day on the floor at Macy's in Manhattan. A friend made me a special dinner the night before to help me celebrate. She made me butterfish, and I had two big helpings. Well, I had constant, explosive diarrhea my first--and last day.
I just HATE my friend Julie, that cunt. She made the damn dinner.
- "Hello, Incontinent Hotline. Can you hold?"
- my friend,scarlet goes around to the warehouse alot with me like at this one the boss there is mean 2 our bestie vera alot.so whenever scarlets out and about we'll drink at least 3 litres of water then we'll go in the store and we'll sneakily take pees on the carpet,clothes,plants,toys,dressing rooms,sometimes we'll take clothes,stationary,and towels (the towels and stationary hidden under our vests) into the dressing rooms lay them down and pee in them and sometimes shell take a shit in some of the items.
its real fun 2 do though occasssionally we'll get worried boss aint 2 bright and all his employees hate him so we get away with it but its hilarious to see his face when he spots it lol, he doesnt even have enough brains to install cameras lolz
- I had the unhappy experience of covering myself with my own poop, while in the army. My unit was on a field exercise when I needed to go. Procedure was to take a field shovel, walk some distance from where our gun battery was encamped, dig a hole and do the business. I dropped my overalls around my ankles and parked my butt over the hole l had just dug. Then, the job done, l stood up and pulled up my overall. I felt some warm and damp hit me on the back of the neck. I realized, too late, that my aim had been off and l had somehow crapped in my overall, while it was around my ankles. I had to wear them for the next five days.
Was there no water to clean them out? I would have worn underwear only.
- why don't we have self cleaning anuses like animals?
- No water - we were restricted to 2 litres a day for drinking (this was in South Africa). The only consolation was that the rest of my unit smelled pretty bad too.
- MORE POOP STORIES PLEASE.
- EVERYBODY OUT OF THE POOL!!!
- 24 pounds of dingleberries in the pool!
[quote]“The average person has about .14 grams of feces on their rear end,” Hlavsa said. “If that rinses off into the water, the amount from one person might not be that much. But as more and more swimmers introduce it that much, it does become an issue. Let’s imagine 1,000 kids go to a water park. They have as much as 10 grams of feces on their rear ends,” she said. “We are now talking about 10,000 grams or 10 kg. That translates to 24 pounds of poop in the water.”
- r366 beat me to it!
- I used to work in an opticians before I went to university, I'd do the bit where you get your new glasses adjusted to your face.
I knew there was something up with this guy a few minutes in, he kept adjusting his pants under the table (I couldn't see specifics because there was a table in the way) and asking really weird questions about my personal life. I went around the corner to get my boss to go deal with him instead, since I was more than a bit scared at this point. As I'm walking off and telling this guy I need to go get something, I hear this noise and I know it's not my heels clicking on the floor. I turn around and this guy had the ass of his pants down and he's done a fat, sloppy shit that's now dripping onto the floor. To top it off, the seats were fucking fabric and one was now caked in his shit.
The police ended up being called.
His record had anti psychotic drugs on it so obviously he had issues, as if the shitting in front of a then 16 year old girl wasn't enough of a tell.
- I had a guy in today to replace my ac. He pooped in my bathroom, was in there for 8 minutes. He shut the door behind him when he was done. When i went in after he left, there were a bunch of pubes on the seat. Ug. Nastiness.
- There's something to be said about walking in a store and thinking "What a dump!" and then taking one right then and there.
- Several years ago I was working in a retail store and near the front of the store was some brown slushy looking stuff. It was snowing and our first thought was someone had tracked in muddy snow. Until one co-worker went to clean it u and realized it was shit. We assumed someone has brought a dog into the store somehow. Nope.
We started finding little plops of shit throughout the store. Some woman had it falling out of her pant leg. No one could think of a polite way to tell her. We did not want to embarrass her in case she had a colostomy bag and it was a weird accident. Two co-workers slunk around behind her with paper towels and a plastic bag picking it up as she moved from aisle to aisle.
- THANK YOU FOR THE NEW POOP STORIES. MORE PLEASE!