Christmas is only fun if you have a ton of money and a wonderful family and/or friends.
It's a drag for us in the music business, essentially 24/7 until after the new year, no time off at all. I fucking hate it. It's money but what the HELL, I'm tired.
Shouldn't this be on the Inconvenient Truth thread?
r2 What kind of music? I'm assuming classical, since there's probably not too much demand for Christmas rock concerts.
Then again, I don't celebrate and prefer to be alone so maybe I'm out of the loop.
I am looking forward to my first holiday season with my camera. I'm still on the shitty kit lens, but a tripod might help.
I dont have a lot of money or friends or family. I enjoy the day off and dont fret with gift giving or making merry
OP = A Material Girl
"...a wonderful family and/or friends."
Yes, that's true. The money part is not... Unless you're materialistic.
OP sounds like a miserable Scrooge. She ought to try listening to "The Doris Day Christmas Album".
You are correct of course but I refuse to give Christmas any power.
I disagree. I have both ($$ and wonderful family/friends) but would happily spend a week at home alone, listening to favorite Christmas songs, watching movies, looking at my pretty tree and baking cookies. It is what you make of it.
I disagree with the "ton of money" part. If you have great family and/or friends, it can great regardless. Granted, having absolutely no money and being super stressed over Christmas or feeling like you're letting someone down (e.g., you can't buy a gift for a niece or nephew) would suck, but not everyone has those obligations and such a situation can be remedied by merely having some extra money. A "ton of money" isn't needed.
I agree with OP. I had to fight to get Christmas off. I had to choose between Thanksgiving and Christmas, so I chose Christmas and basically spent Thanksgiving alone. I also have to pay a mint for a 45 minute flight home. Either that or an 8 hour bus or train ride. And I'm really going just to make my mom happy or she'll be suicidal. It'll be me, her sister and my brother. Everyone that made Christmas special for me as a kid is dead (grandparents, aunts and uncles). Weird. Then I still have to get gifts, which I love to do but feel bad because I'll never have the finances to get people I love what I truly want to give them. Never had a Christmas bonus, never will. Meanwhile, my father and his family will be in some red state celebrating with his big family and spending hundreds on gifts for all them. I haven't seen my dad on Christmas for over 20 years.
Every year I try to deny this capitalistic bullshit that has seeped into every corner of Christmas, and I say I'll celebrate it from the heart. But honestly, I see excited kids and the stores all packed and the houses all decorated with family coming to visit - and my heart starts to break.
I don't hate Christmas, I love Christmas a lot. But the reality for me is that Christmas is a crease in a page, a timekeeper always reminding me how much me life has changed year by year.
completely agree, but there's something about a shiny bustling mall filled with kitschy decorations that fills me with joy. maybe it's nostalgia? idk
"A ton of money and a wonderful family and/or friends" are not quite enough to make Christmas fun.
We each see the world through our own filters. Christmas is what YOU make it. If you believe it is "only for those with a ton of money and friends," then your holiday experience will be that.
Thanks for expressing that so well, R14. Kind of describes my twenties, while Dad was elaborately celebrating every holiday with his wife's family, and me and my mom were poor and alone.
It is a bummer to be struggling to provide any kind of a happy Christmas for your mom, while knowing somewhere else, your dad is happily ignoring you and having a Christmas worthy of Bing Crosby.
Kudos for you for trying your best. Your mom is lucky to have you.
More suicides than any other timof year for a reason. Sometimes it just dawns on people how alone they really are. Especially with all the commercials, packed malls, Christmas music, etc.
Agree with R17. A lot of people have expectations for Christmas that are too idealized so it's impossible not to be disappointed in some way.
And that's just a popular myth R20. Statistically suicide rates are highest in late spring/early summer.
Fuck that shit.
Those Dominican Yule logs have Mama's mussy as hot, sweet and sticky as a plum pudding fresh from the oven.
Mama is putting the Muss back in Christmuss. She doesn't need money for THAT - her talents speak for themselves. And family and friends, honey, would just make her celebrations a little creepy. She DOES has a few scruples.
I'm not concerned about money but I really miss being with my family. The whole bullshit of working around Christmas is getting to me at 50. It's like they think someone's going to die if the office is closed for two days or a store is shut for an extra day.
I know not everyone is Christian but I think we can work around this by having a national Holiday in the winter and summer. True if you're working you get vacation days. But there is always fierce competition for those times.
I love the holidays. Snow ice skating decorations and the smell of a fresh tree.
You're absolutely right. Without money or friends it's dull. Media keeps promoting it as family, family, family. And you need money to buy the food and gifts required. What about those on social security down with illness? They can barely pay the rent, let alone buy food anymore with all the over-priced food greed going on by stores. It's a year-end accountants' joy, Christmas. The last money-grab of the year's accounting records.
Just ignore it and go on about your life as though nothing is happening. Don't let them rape your wallet and make you broke or overdrawn at the banky poo!
People who think that this is the most wonderful time of the year are too old for spring break
Disagree about the "tons of money," but you do have to be somewhat financially stable. Who can possibly enjoy the festive holidays when you're flat broke or your employment is tenuous? I completely agree with the friends and family part. What is Christmas (or any holiday) without someone to spend it with?
What R27 said
Agree with others about money not being a prerequisite. I'm a starving grad student and can barely afford rent, let alone gifts for everyone. My family understands this entirely and told me outright when I started grad school that they did not want ANY holiday gifts from me until I'm done with my studies and earning a living again. I am extremely close with my mom, brother and sister-in-law, in particular, and Mom always pays for me to fly home for the holidays. The only presents I buy are ones for my two nephews, but they're pretty easy to shop for! In return I do the lion's share of the cooking for Christmas dinner and plan the family entertainment.
No, but you can convince yourself that's true if you're determined to be miserable. In reality, you have more money than many who are less miserable than you are. It's possible to give yourself and others a little holiday treat without spending lots of money.
Yes, there's a disgusting commercialism around Christmas but that can be ignored. Remember, all winter holidays began as rituals to celebrate light at the darkest time of the year. It's biological to want to bring some delight to this time of year.
As for family and friends, they don't have to be "wonderful," if by that you mean perfect. Find someone nice to be with, even one other person, if you want company. Reach out to someone who seems to be lonely. Recognize that other people are flawed, as you are. Spend time w/your family, even if you limit the amount of time, if you can get a little enjoyment out of it. If not, savor your solitude and take a walk -- nature is an endless source of delight, if you let it be.
I find it depressing because I have to work nights on the holidays.
Not if you have a Vince Guaraldi score to dance to.
I live in California; my family lives on the East Coast. Has anyone checked out the airfares this year? They're sky-high. As a result, I'm not going home this year. And I could afford to pay these ridiculous fares, but I refuse to spend that kind of money for a 7-10 days in the dead of winter.
And I almost always go home; I have missed very few holidays at home. But it's stressful, expensive (and I hate to shop) and just not worth it. I have long since passed the age when the holidays mean anything to me. I go home for my mother and sister, and I feel badly that I had to say no this year. I just want to have a peaceful, relaxing week without traveling at this time of year.
I'll go home in the spring.
I think I'd rather go for the great friends and family option at Christmas time.
I got together with my dysfunctional family for Christmas one year and we got to church late so none of us could sit together.
This could only get better, I thought. I was right.
I end up sitting with this family, next to this guy who seemed like an All-American big brother type.
When it got to the part of the mass where everyone held hands I noticed that this guy simply put out his hand and took mine. I think he was holding his sister's hand on the other side.
The only 'vibe' I got was that he was nice. I forget that there are people like this in the world.
I forget that there are people like this in the world.
They said the prayer and then everyone let go. He gave a nice smile while I tried not to look, feel or be sad.
But I was, of course.
I like the music and the decorations. We don't exchange gifts in our family, we just do a secret Santa with a 20$ limit so it's not expensive. I only see them 2 or three times a year so I wouldn't call them wonderful. I enjoy CHristmas.
There's always Festivus.
I was broke last year, I mean broke, I could not buy any gifts to bring home to the family. No one cared and I knew that but I can honestly say after getting back on my feet, its nice to pick things up for this person or that person.
It sort of forced you to think about them when they are not there. Sometime, you realize, you don't know a whole hell of a lot about them.
Christmas for me is more about memories and traditions and seeing people I have not seen all year then presents.
Its usually guaranteed that I wont get someone what they waned and I wont get anything I wanted.
Who cares! I can shop for my own stuff any time of the year.
Also a good excuse to blow the diet....it's only once a year.
Christmas has gotten comepletely out of hand. The build-up to Xmas has created unreal expectations. It causes stress. It's anticlimatic when it finally arrives.
I don't mind getting together for dinner--kind of on the idea of Thanksgiving--but the false expectations for Xmas have turned me off. I've had some happy Xmas memories and more than my share of unhappy Xmas memories.
But for many years now, Xmas for me means spending a huge chuck of money on airfare along with buying presents, which I try to keep to a bare minimum. But nonetheless, I'm rather tired of the joy I'm supposed to feel. I'm done. I could skip the whole day and would like that a whole lot more.
I have a Christmas club so that when Christmas comes around I have enough money to share my love and joy and buy presents.
You can too, if you just put some effort into it.
Like most 'mos you want Welfare Obama to do all the work. Even with food stamps you can buy food gifts for your relations and everyone can have a nice Christmas.
Friends and family are important- money, no.
Christmas is fun if you are in another country and you have a lot money.
Christmas is only fun if it's a paid holiday.
What I cannot deal with is the retail Christmas machine starting earlier and earlier. This year, I saw Christmas crap in stores before Halloween.
I have yet to start my great new job, I have to get an abscess tooth pulled, and my family is 4k miles away. I guess I will be eating vicodin with my eggnog, and watching the Merry Little Christmas scene from St. Louis over and over again, just so I can have me a cathartic cry.
oh what the heck lets go all the way-*life* is only fun if you have tons of money,sexy ass for sexy guys to fuck,and a husband
being gay and poor sucks.especially on xmas
you obviously have money and dick in your sexy ass every day
why do people like that lecture us poor uglies?
My mother started a Epiphany tradition when our family was dead broke with the IRS threatening to take the house.
On Twelfth Night she'd host an extended family/friends party. She'd hit the sales and buy $1 gifts for male or female, wrap everything up, make us clean the entire house, and host a family party.
She'd make huge amounts of cheap food - chili, sloppy joes, etc. Family members would also bring food.
Everyone said it was the most stress-free party of the year.
When we were on our feet again, the tradition continued and gifts remained inexpensive and fun.
When she died, a few cousins continued the tradition.
So, money does not count. Including everyone in your life counts. Even the assholes and black sheep of the family attended and everyone had a good time.
There you go R48- best post on DL in ages-
You had a great Mom who knew what was important and how to make it happen!
In our family are poor but we have a great Christmas.
My boyfriend's boss is mean but eventually he'll give him Christmas off.
Then he comes home where I have spent the day making a pudding. It's always a fine pudding. But sometimes we don't always have enough flour, so the I won't eat any.
I have to make sure there's enough for all our children, especially the littlest one who is crippled.
Then we have broasted popcorn and huddle around the fire in one room. We string popcorn and the children all bring in the scraps of paper, they collect on their way home from the workhoue. And we make loops and trim the tree with colored paper.
We usually have goose, but one time my boyfriend's employer sent over a turkey.
...and R50 is the coup de grace when your bf pounds Tim your littlest son?
You can have a great Christmas with just a lot of great friends and/or family. Buying gifts just get out of control when the extended social circles get too big.