Trying to find Mr Right when they are searching for Mr Wrong(my opinion )
So it is another night looking through online profiles for my Prince( Honestly how did Kate Middleton have such great Karma that she meets her Prince and I have to resort to troll through copious amounts of online profiles to find my one.
The problem is not that I don't find them.I find him every day.The problem is he doesn't want me!!!Well at least not according to his online profile anyway.
The amount of times I read a gay profile of movies a guy likes say GWTW or old movies or books or antiques or quiet nights at home or humour or intelligence or an Anglophile or likes politics or loves his friends and swimming and I sigh thinking this is it we match we will be perfect..... Then I read the dreaded words.
"Wanted straight acting guy hot slim attractive ..footballer blah blah blah .you get my drift. I then think why?why?
Nothing in the person's profile gives you an indication that this what they want and it makes me sad.
So many guys are lonely and want friends or lovers and you have profiles full of things that many many men want and then you look for a person like Marky Mark without the wife or kids and wonder why you haven't found Mr Right.
Well I am here to say I am here looking for a straight acting slim guy into football:)
Guys who describe themselves as straight-acting are usually the ones with a purse and the Donna Karan Fall Collection falling out of their mouth every time they speak.
Any man who even USES terms like "straight acting" is self loathing. And a mess.
And finding love online is really sad and desperate. People with profiles on dating sites are, well, shall we say, "challenged" in many ways. Another word would be LOSERS. Get out in the world. Connect with REAL people. Don't waste your time on internet dating sites.
I don't agree that dating site people are all lost causes. Not by a long shot. I've met some nice guys through such sites... it's a convenience. It's the kind of site you need to be leery of, at least in my experience. Douchebags tend to to congregate in places like Grindr. Hello Cupid has done well for me.
What is the best site to meet discreet married men for those of us who are unable to commit to LTR right now?
[quote]Any man who even USES terms like "straight acting" is self loathing. And a mess.
Nonsense. They are saying they are not interested in some fashion-obsessed, black-woman-imitating, Lady Gaga-obsessed clone who refers to males friends as "she." People like that get a lot of attention (they DEMAND it), so people think they represent a larger part of the dating pool than they really do.
Not everyone lives right by [...] and can slip in his teeth and hobble over there every night, r3.
That's a fair point, R6. Not everybody wants to date a neon sign. And remember, even the nelliest queen has a shot as long as she's thin.
"Neon sign" is only one facet of the matter. It is also a matter of attraction and compatibility.
"Straight acting" is such a homophobic term. Guys (who aren't insecure headcases) don't "act" straight just like effeminate gay men don't "act" feminine. In both cases it's just the individual's natural personality and demeanor.
So then masculine is the right word, I guess.
My friend and I were just on the phone last night talking about how frustrating these dating sites are. We both came across losers this week who set us up to think we'd possibly made a connection with someone only to bail in the end. In my case, I saw this guy's profile, sent him a message, he wrote me back almost instantly talking about how much he just LOVED my profile, my pics, told me his name and what he's into, etc., then asked me what I like to do for fun around the city. I wrote him back with an answer, asked him what about you, and then never heard from him again. Just another typical bullshitter.
As for those saying forget the sites and try to meet people in real life, I agree, but also agree with R4 that the sites are just a convenience. I've met and dated guys over the years who I met both online AND in everyday life (and some were great and others not). Whichever way you meet them, you can't ever know what the outcome will be. All you can do is hope for the best.
It is always a good idea to search for variations on the guy's nickname online....many times you will find he also has profiles on multiple sex sites alongside his 'dating' profile.
"And finding love online is really sad and desperate."
Attention Eldgergays: pay heed to this. If you're over 40 and still trolling sites like Big Muscle, it really is an act of desperation to be posting "come hither" photos of yourself in your underwear.
Give it up already.
I think those evenings set up by Match.com for people whose profiles would put them together is a great idea. There are event activities and you get to interact with these applicants in a nonthreatening way to see whether you are interested in going out.
In some respects, the jerk could have jerked you around in a similar way in real life, so really, at least it saved you time.
Let me get this straight, OP. You want guys who don't want you? And you think THEY are the problem?
Subconsciously you either don't want to be in a relationship or you are afraid of it. With that kind of attitude you do not attract a proper mate, but one failure after another.
The best way to catch your perfect mate is to simply play a little passive agressive game with fate. Show fate that you are so happy with the way your life is right now that you don't really need a mate (be convincing, be very convincing) and fate is going to throw mate after mate after mate in your direction (so many of them that they will actually fight over you).
[quote]It is always a good idea to search for variations on the guy's nickname online....many times you will find he also has profiles on multiple sex sites alongside his 'dating' profile.
I tried this once with a guy whose profile I found on a sex site where he identified as gay and wanting to meet men for sex. I discovered that he used the same nickname on other sex sites as well as a few gay dating sites. Even more surprisingly, he betrayed a thorough lack of originality by using the same nickname on straight dating and straight sex sites where he identified as straight and his profile said that he wanted to meet women for dating or casual sex.
"Oh my God. I'm back. I'm home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it ... You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"
We are switching to the new platform for The DataLounge this weekend. All of our mobile users have been using it for over a week and all first time users have been using it for about a month - which adds up to well over one million users. So we're ready to end this phase of the testing and move everybody to the new site. (more)
And yes, we've changed the look and some of how it operates.
Yes, we know you just *hate* it in well in advance.
Yes, we know we suck.
Yes, we are the biggest suckers that ever sucked.
But it was time for a change and with the huge shift to mobile it was long overdue. We've taken this opportunity not only to update the look but also make major changes under the hood (or "bonnet" if you're either British or pretentious or both). And we have to prepare for 2016 - a presidential election year where we can normally expect to see a 60% jump in traffic (yes, we've seen 5 presidential elections so far…Christ we're old).
The site has a bunch - nay, plethora - of new features which will make the site more usable: better search, the ability to ignore posters and threads, see link previews, to pick up a thread where you left off, spam and malware filtering and more.
If you want you can go explore and see for yourself, Click here.
And while running the tests we've noticed two interesting reactions to the new system - people are spending more time on the site and more people that come stay around longer and look at more stuff. Both good things. Yay!
Possibly we've not slain all the dragons and there will be issues that come up during the switchover. There's a help button in the lower right hand corner of the page which you can use to send us bug reports.
Please include as much information about the hardware (PC, Mac, Tablet, Phone etc), operating system (Windows, Mac OS, Android, iOS etc) and browser (Chrome, Safari, Opera, Internet Explorer etc) that you are using as possible to help us replicate and fix the problem.
Please note that complaints about colors, fonts, icons and the like are not "bugs" - they are design choices that we've made and we expect one or two cases of world-class bitching. But they won't actually cause headaches, scurvy, heart attacks, Restless Leg Syndrome, Morgellon's Disease or the vapors (but have your smelling salts at hand just in case).
Talking to DataLounge servers. Please wait a moment...