Most of my friends would be surprised to know how chronic it is and how helpless I feel.
It's like huge fog rolled into my life 3-4 years ago and I can't see where I'm going and I find my way out.
Me too, OP.
i desperately need to do some therapy, but I cant afford it even with my insurance.
NEWS: You aren't supposed to be happy.
This is life -- not a Broadway musical.
Grow the fuck up and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Same here, op. You're not alone.
How are we expected to respond to this? "I'm sorry"?
Look into free mental health clinics, there should be at least one where ever you live, they can help a lot. Most operated on a sliding scale.
You are not alone, so am I.
It's the economy. It's not something you can control, what you have to do is grin and bear it.
you lot be nice to op.
OP, I am sorry to hear it. I know what it's like. You have to fight this out, even with help, on your own. Friends can only do so much and sometimes not much at all.
My advice, at a minimum, is to buy one of those working books on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It can give you tools to lessen anxiety and sadness. Start there. You will feel better for doing something constructive.
We are in perilous times, it would be strange if you weren't profoundly unhappy.
Boo hoo. It's your fault.
r11 is a dick
Ignore the meanies who love to dis on threads like this. Are you into books? There are some good ones in the library from people that have literally fought their way through what you now feel. Is it situational, meaning are you unhappy with the direction you life is now going? Can you make a list of things that you could change? Are your expectations very high? Have you dealt with recent tragedy? In other words is there something logical that is causing you to feel so blue? Realize that so many of your fellow Americans are very unhappy, and either fake it or turn to outside "bandaid" solutions for a temporary fix.
Wow some of you are un-fucking-believable. This is no way to respond to someone who is hurting. Christ. Don't even bother responding or reading the thread if all you're going to say is boo hoo. Sounds like a few people here need some help not a "grow the fuck up and stop feeling sorry for yourself". Have you ever heard of depression? It's more prevalent than you think. And if it helps the OP to talk to others about it then let him. You don't have to reply. I suggest you see your doctor OP. Unfortunately life sucks sometimes and it can be overwhelming. Good luck.
I once worked for a big company where the "mental health plan" was a an 800 number for a Christian crisis line. The CEO and gang turned out to be unprincipled thieves of course.
Wow, OP, you have friends? I lost all mine over these years of intractable depression. My fault, not theirs.
Good on you for being able to sustain human relationships. Good luck to you. I really do hope you find your way out of the wilderness.
R12, I am a dick. It doesn't mean I'm wrong.
You ARE supposed to be happy. If no one told you that, they are NOW. The natural human state is health and happiness. But somewhere along the way, this is not what we are "taught" because most people aren't happy.
But you get to CHOOSE how you go through life. Don't let anyone take your power away. And don't give your power away.
Thank God Obama won, now you can go on welfare and get the government to support you while you moan about nothing.
I would hate to be you when a real crisis hits. If you thought more about others with real problems you'd have little time for your own cloud of self pity.
Of course since Obama became president, taking responsibility for yourself is a thing of the past. Let the government take care of you, and let the taxpayers pick up the tab is his motto.
It is obvious you are depressed. You don't need to live like this. See your doctor right away. There are effective treatments that will help. You have already given up these past years.
Call your doctor TODAY.
R19=compulsive liar and fraud.
Life's a bitch... and then you die.
Listen to r20
Go do something nice for somebody else. Anything, Anybody. You'll be amazed how much better you'll feel.
Also, get medication. It can make a world of difference.
R18 = The Oprah
OP I was there a few years ago, but now I have accepted that things are not going to go back to where they were. I would not call myself happy, but I am okay and I have a new found energy. Sometimes it is necessary to embrace hopelessness in life. We are now confronted with so many crumbling structures and ideas in our current society. It takes courage, but giving up the hope of becoming the happy person you once were can be quite empowering.
Try a 12 step program they are free and they have them for just about everything from drugs, alcohol, eating, debt, under earners. You won't regret it.
me too OP.
Awhile back, on one of these threads, someone mentioned a book called THE UNTETHERED SOUL by Michael A. Singer. I was never one for self help books but I have to tell you this book changed my life. Whoever you are who posted that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Run, not walk, to pick up a copy of this book somewhere, You won't be sorry.
R24 is on the right track.
OP, I understand. I've spent the last 4 days in a row in my apt., feeling more miserable than usual. I used to be happy-go-lucky; friends, different (short-term) boyfriends (some married - gasp!); made $60K (not a lot for that city) in SF; rent-controlled 3-bedroom Edwardian flat for $1300.
THen I blew it: blew through a small ($75K) inheritance in 2 years; quit working deliberately; lived like a "rich" (semi-rich) person for 2 years; had to get a job.
Injured my leg - cellulitis - kep thinking it would get better; didn't go to a dr (DUMB!); got depressed; sat on bus stops till 3, 4:00 in the a.m.: SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN HELP.
Long story short, ended up 1 week from going into a shelter (lost seeral jobs; didn't realized how bad the depression was); moved with straight brother and family 3000 miles away; then assisted living: past year:
back in small town where I went to high school. 2,000 people. No busses. No cabs. Can't afford a car. Health not great.
BUT: I keep asking myself, what would make me happy(ier) - and I wlil try to move next year to a small city of 27,000 or a bigger one of 100,000. Oh and became disabled along the way: all my life I wanted not to hae to work; now I don't - and am MISERABLE.
BUT (sorry to go on and on): I'e decided to work harder at losing weight (fat fat fat) AND take some courses online. And back to R24: I have had occasion over the past 3-4 weeks to be of "help" on the phone to a friend trying to get out of an instituation; a disabled woman in my building who is dyslexic (and helping her with school papers) and:
I feel better. don't have control of my money now (SUCKS!!!!!!), but brother sees to it that at least I hae, for the first time in my life, some savings - c. $5K, big deal, but I'd have spent it without his help.
OP, I know you mentoined you can't afford insurance but where you work, is there an EAP program? I have several friends who got useful short-term, free help from counselors.
Again, sorry to go on and on. Best wishes, OP.
There are no effective therapies. That said, go to law school and make a difference in people's lives.
Going to law school is quite possibly the worst idea ever for a depressed person
Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your savior?
R19 still hasn't gotten over the fact that Shit Romney lost the election.
You're way more pathetic than anybody in this thread.
I keep a picture on my wall of an old African lady who is on her hands and knees in front of a 20 yo kid with a machine gun. She's wailing and screaming, begging him not to shoot her because she had to go into the Nat'l Park to collect firewood, which is illegal. THAT chick has problems.
I've never felt the despair I've felt recently, my sister developed a severe mental illness, which causes my moms depression, which leaves me dealing with my own autoimmune disorder basically on my own while trying to finish college. If I had a choice I wouldn't want to be alive, seriously.
I know it's trite but remember, this too shall pass. Good luck to all of you.
r36 There was a thread on here recently titled something like "Psychics, shaman and weird stuff". Try and find it and read it. It really had a lot of good suggestions in it. Good luck to you. Don't give up.
Why don't you try an anti-depressant and see if it helps?
Have you been taking xanax, op?
R39, in asking if OP has been taking Xanax, are you suggesting his mood might be part of withdrawal symptoms?
Most jobs will make you want to kill yourself. The corporate world makes you feel like a number.
I would not recommend taking xanax. I got addicted to it when my mom was dying and it was a bitch to get off of. I couldn't sleep and would wake up in the middle of the night with heart palpitations and the sound of music in my head. It's the hardest drug to get off of. If you must do anti-anxiety, go with valium as it has a longer half-life and is easier to come off of....
Whatever you do, do not go off of Valium or Xanax cold turkey. The way I acted after I suddenly stopped taking Valium affected the rest of my life in a critical way, and I don't mean a good critical way.
Xanax fucked me up too...got addicted very quickly and then nearly lost my job trying to get off of it. It also made me angry.
When OP talks of "being in a fog" it speaks volumes about the seriousness of clinical depression. His/her brain is not operating correctly. I am not qualified to diagnose anyone (LOL) but people with PTSD have the brain fog issue. Losing everything can cause PTSD, or exacerbate it to the point of dysfunction.
OP, you can and will get out of this state you are in. when you are in this state, it seems impossible to come out of, but believe me, it really and truly can be done.
I realize that looking for mental health clinics seems like a Herculean task right now, but do one little step each day. Personally, I would try at least one medication--what the hell, it can't hurt to try, and if you don't like it, try another.
OP, blessings to you and others here who are suffering from depression.