- Bond over your skepticism of other family members.
That's what I do, anyway.
- Is he hot? (Given that he's on crew at Princeton, I'll harbor that answer is a yes.) Get him drunk and fuck him; it's not like you have the incest thing to worry about.
Btw if you can't find *any* common ground for conversation topics, you're not trying hard enough. Even crew guys don't get accepted to Princeton if they're idiots; ask him about his studies or his thoughts on the recent elections, and I'm sure you can come up with some interesting conversation topics (even if you can't get laid). Incidentally, I'm 40 and have friends in their mid-20s, both straight and gay, with whom I have zero problems conversing. I also have friends 60 and (well) up -- same thing, no problems finding stuff to talk about.
- Let's all stroke together
Like the Princeton crew
When you're strokin' Mama
Mama's strokin' you
Mama%20Morton
- Don't go to bed at the same time as him. Surely there's some extra space in the house (or outside, weather permitting) where you can hang out and read, or pretend to be doing something important on your laptop. It would kill some time otherwise spent in awkward conversation/silence. Change in the bathroom.
If you're sharing the same bed, then I don't know what to tell you. Except that it was a hilariously poor arrangement on the part of whoever assigned roommates.
- show him your grindr profile OP
- Please, bedtime for the op is eleven. The nephew will hit the sack at 2:00.
- Get a hotel. Seriously, piling the whole family into a house for a stupid holiday is crazy, especially if there's no room for everyone to be comfortable.
- Find a La Quinta, OP.
- Is your cousin gay, bi or straight?
- I give you a bonus point for making him your cousin and not your nephew.
1/10
- He goes to Princeton and the OP went to ... ?
- Yes, we are sharing a bed, a twin unfortunately. We're just total opposites. He's young, I'm old. He's a jock, I'm a nerd. He works out, I don't. He's uncut, I'm cut. He's a vegan, I eat meat. He doesn't smoke, I do. Yes, it was a bad job on my aunt's part in assigning roommates. The only other option would be to room with my even younger twin nephews. They're seniors in high school and on the wrestling team. But then I would have to sleep on the floor so it's not really a good option either. Plus, they're younger so we would have even less in common.
OP
- 33?! My God you're practically ancient! *sarcasm*
How do you know his circ status?
- 33 isn't old.
- Lame, OP.
- fantasy:
[quote]Yes, we are sharing a bed, a twin unfortunately. We're just total opposites. He's young, I'm old. He's a jock, I'm a nerd. He works out, I don't. He's uncut, I'm cut.
reality:
he's 10 inches, hung like a horse; i'm 2 inches, hung like a mouse.
- You're SHARING A BED with your cousin? WTF and honestly from your description I feel more bad him, as you're a smoker. Maybe you should stay at a hotel or something.
Do you know him at all? Get along? if not then maybe you should sleep somewhere else.
No way in HELL would I share a bed with my cousins lol
- A twin need for two adults.
Right... completely believable.
The%20disbeliever
- [quote] Yes, we are sharing a bed, a twin unfortunately.
Two grown men in a single bed?
- take a sleeping bag and sleep on the front lawn.
- And what's wrong with taking a hotel room somewhere OP? You're an adult, you don't have to put up with that shit anymore. Just rent a room !
- BED, not need. Damn autocorrect.
The%20disbeliever
- I feel sorry for you cousin, having to deal with your misplaced neurosis.
- This all sounds like an attempt at an elaborate scenario. How do you even know your cousin is cut? And what family makes two adults share a bed? Sleep on the couch or the floor!
Not even Greg and Peter Brady had to share a bed.
- Look at R18 posting high and mighty from her queen bed. Not everyone is rich, okay? My family comes from modest means and we make do with what we have. There's no shame in that. I've had to share beds all my life growing up, but at least it was with my brother who's close to my age and had more in common with even though he was a jock too and was on the football team.
And of course I know his circ status, for the same reason your aunts and uncles would know yours.
OP
- God, the EST trolls don't even try anymore, do they?
- [quote]And of course I know his circ status, for the same reason your aunts and uncles would know yours
But he's your cousin... or did you mean nephew?
- No, R27, I meant that any adult relative in the family would the status of a new baby, including aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, brothers, sisters.
OP
- He's my cousin *PISH!* my nephew *PISH!* We're mormons *PISH!*
- OP has a photo album with circumcision statuses written in. He likes to run his cheeto-covered fingers over them in mother's basement with Brenda Lee albums playing in the background.
- OP is the trolliest troll that ever trolled.
The dead giveaway was knowing his cut/uncut status. Seriously, wtf. Of your cousin? Yeah, right.
All I can say is that the op WISHES his lame ass story was true. And even if it were true, the cousin would be so creeped out by this old letch sharing the same bedroom, that he'd probably sleep in his car!
- T * R * O * L * L
- You didn't answer op, why don't you just take a hotel room ?
- I did all of my little cousins.
- OP's creepy cousin confessing his urge for a head-on collision.
http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DpGtFWAivsqY
- OP, are you still living at home at 33?
- We feel bad for your cousin.
(in this imaginary scenario)
- Yes, I'm still living at home. There's no shame in that in this economy. In fact, over 75% of kids are now living at home after college.
Of course I wouldn't stay at a hotel, R33. Hotels cost money and it would look bad to my family if I decided to stay at a hotel. It would seem like a diss. Plus the nearest hotel is all the way in the city so it would be too far for me to drive. I wouldn't want to miss out on all the activities planned. The boys are going to play full-contact football and go swimming in the lake while the girls will be in the kitchen cooking Thanksgiving dinner and baking pies.
- Another day at OP's house.
http://fairytangles.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/images.jpeg
- Take cocaine, spend the night prancing around the living room
- [quote] The boys are going to play full-contact football and go swimming in the lake while the girls will be in the kitchen cooking Thanksgiving dinner and baking pies.
Well, it appears that Norman Rockwell has risen from the dead and started to post on Datalounge. Our prayers have been answered!
Noel Coward, you're next.
- ...so....will you be playing full contact football...or...baking cookies, I mean pies.
- R31 is oh so proud of herself for outing the troll, and the "dead giveaway" was cut/uncut status? LOL! Really? Haha, for anyone who's been here a while the dead give away was the thread title. A few years ago (you know.....before all the smart, witty people fled) this idiot would have been called out as the "nephew troll" at R1. It's so laughably pathetic that posters are giving him real advice to stay in a hotel, etc.
R26 is correct. OP, you are so fucking lazy.
DL%20is%20dead
- Stop whining! Bunk beds are fun.
- [quote] ...so....will you be playing full contact football...or...baking cookies, I mean pies.
OP will be tossing a salad and eating some hot cookies. Of course.
Lamest thread ever
- Is he hot?
- OP, are you a Kennedy?
- In all fairness to OP, if families are close and spend regular time together, one knows the cut/uncut status of cousins. I know because of diaper changes witnessed as a child. And my Aunt changed my diapers, so I'm sure my status is known there too.
- Erm, OP? I think if your aunt has gone ahead and asked you to share a twin bed with her younger, hot jock son, you should take that as her giving you the go ahead to get as much sex off of him as you can during Thanksgiving weekend. He's probably gay too and gagging for it. She'll probably leave condoms and lube on the nightstand for you along with one towel and some turkey meatballs. Y'know, for after.
- According to troll-dar, OP has yet to respond.
- Ill bet he has a warm, moist, inviting cranberry scented anus...
- Exactly, R48. Not to mention that there are discussions about whether or not to circumcise a new baby amongst family members.
Ewww, R49, I don't think of him in that way. And he's not gay.
[quote]...so....will you be playing full contact football...or...baking cookies, I mean pies.
Uh, seeing as I'm a boy, I'm going to be playing full-contact football and swimming. Duh.
OP
- Sure, OP @ R52, but you might be a girly boy. And will we be wearing swimming trunks, or will you go skinny dipping in the lake?
- You think you've got it bad? I not only have to share a bed with my much younger cousin (Barry, who plays lacrosse at Yale), but we've been assigned the same shower time. Something to do with water restrictions due to Sandy. Just him and me in that tiny shower. I should just go to Holiday Inn!
- You SHOULD go to Holiday Inn, R54, if you can afford the luxury. If you have an Extended Stay America near you, look into that too. I hear those are better deals.
- [quote]And will we be wearing swimming trunks, or will you go skinny dipping in the lake?
Of course I'll be wearing my swimming trunks but my cousins, nephews and brothers sometimes go without. Those straight boys don't care. They don't give a shit.
OP
- 1.5 / 10
Wheels came off completely at sharing the twin bed.
- Major EST Troll
- In what culture is age 33 still considered a kid?
- OP: Boys play football, girls bake, don't you all know that?! A durrrrr.
Judith%20Butler%2C%20weeping.%20
- If you're a 33 year old man, why can't you stay in a hotel?
- Oh, I just perused the thread. Never mind, you're an obvious (and bad) troll. Still living at home, two adults sharing a twin bed (who would believe such a thing) and, of course, the circumcision obsession. -1,000/10. Everyone stop posting and let this idiotic thread die.
- [quote] fucking cousin
There's your answer right there.
- Sweetie, just be grateful yer a-sharin' a twin. It's better than sleepin' single in a double bed, y'all!
Barbara%20Mandrell
- OP, no man will say no to a blow job.
(and you know you want to give him one!)
- I was giving this the benefit of the doubt, but yeah...troll.
You can't possibly be that dumb. There are ALWAYS ways around this type of thing, even if it means finding a meager square of floor to sleep on in some other room and getting up before everyone else.
- Who swims in a lake in late November?
- Trollin', trollin', trollin', keep them trolls a trollin'.
- I'm surprised that you're allowed too room with him after the incident last year.
http://youtu.be/d1Fzdp_h3Ds
- Go to sleep, OP. He doesn't want to talk to you anyway.
- Admit it, OP. All this concern about sharing a bed with your cousin is because you still wet the bed.
- Maybe if you feed him enough alcohol he will let you suck him off, Mary OP!
Mrs%20Patrick%20Campbell
- I went to Princeton and had full on sex (not just blow jobs) with two football players and one lacrosse player. No crew, but some were good friends of mine because we had a rower and a cox (super gay btw - I know, go to town with the puns) in our singing group.
Just felt like bragging, since OP's set-up is boring and amateurishly fabricated.
Tiger
- Nice, r3
Go-to-Hell%20Kitty
- r73's post is useless without nude photos of herself and the football/lacrosse players
Mrs%20Patrick%20Campbell
- Cousin? What a waste of a thread.
Nephew%20Troll
- Crew cousin, wrestler nephews (twins!) and football brother. Sharing a twin bed? You really have gone a few steps too far with this, OP. Shame. Such potential.
- What a disappointing attempt.
Where is style? Where is skill? Where is forethought? Where's discretion of the heart? Where's passion in the art? Where's craft?
Hermione%20Gingold
- [quote]two adults sharing a twin bed (who would believe such a thing)
What's so unbelievable about sharing a twin bed? Twin beds are meant for 2 people, hence the name twin. All hotels have twin beds for 2 people or have you never stayed at a hotel?
OP
- That's 2 twin beds for 2 people.
Give it up already.
- I thought twin beds were made only for twins
- OP is confusing "twin" and "double," probably on purpose.
- [quote]What's so unbelievable about sharing a twin bed? Twin beds are meant for 2 people, hence the name twin. All hotels have twin beds for 2 people or have you never stayed at a hotel?
This must be a joke post, but I'll bite, in case there's a language/cultural difference.
Have you never purchased sheets,r79? Twin size is the smallest, meant for twin beds, called twins because you can fit two in a regular bedroom for kids or Lucy/Ricky and Laura/Rob to sleep in. Also you can stack them up in bunks. Or put away one under another in the case of a trundle bed.
Hotels usually have two queen-sized beds in their larger-than-typical-bedroom rooms.
Fool for falling for it
- I think OP is really 14 and has never once stayed in a hotel. He has the twin bed because his ass is in 9th grade. Give it up shit for brains, no one believes you.
If this were true why wouldn't you just crash on the couch in front of the tv in the livingroom all night, problem solved. I do that when I'm home for the holidays and I have a room.
- Really R83? Now we're providing detailed instruction to trolls on what constitutes a twin bed?
Really?
God%2C%20this%20place%20has%20gotten%20so%20lame
- [quote] Yes, we are sharing a bed, a twin unfortunately.
Bwah! I clearly haven't been around here for long enough because I actually fell for it until this line.
- It's not weird that OP might know that his cousin is uncut. But it is weird that OP thought to even list it amongst his differences between him and his cousin. What does circumcision status have to do with sharing a bed with your cousin? That combined with sharing the twin bed, references to him being a jock, and the skinny dipping all pinpoint to the incest/nephew troll.
You suck at trolling.
- Twin beds, blah blah blah ... He lost me at "my other option would be sharing a room with my high-school aged nephew twin wrestlers"
Please. I've seen Bel-Ami flicks with more believable set-ups!
- Two adult men in a twin bed? Hilarious.
This is like the traveling salesman and farmer's daughter jokes.
- A twin bed for two might work for normal sized people, but we all know that OP is FAR, FAR, FAR, from being normal sized.
- [quote] A twin bed for two might work for normal sized people, but we all know that OP is FAR, FAR, FAR, from being normal sized.
And anyone who is crew (unless he is the coxswain) is likely to be big.
- i think you should really throw him in a ditch for a month.
- Dear ManDate Reader's Forum,
You'll never guess what happened to me: it was Thanksgiving, and all that was available for me to sleep on at the house where we had all gathered was a twin bed I had to share with my hot male cousin, a Princeton student on the crew team...
- OP is a secret lesbian.
- From the nifty archives:
"Oh", I saided to my swarthy fellow cousin, "You've spilleded gravy all over your racing singlet which you've ironically worneded to bed. No, don't take it off, yet. I need to pretreat all the stainededs with my saliva"
-Sherri Shepherd dictating her first slash
- I've never seen a twin bed in a hotel. Most rooms with a "double" are two queens or two full-sized (double) beds. As others have noted, a twin bed is a child-sized or "single" bed.
In addition to being a really bad troll, OP is also a moron, apparently. No one is buying your tales of adults sharing twin beds, 1950s gender norms, circumcision discussions among extended family and lake-swimming in November. Are you even from the US? You sound like a foreigner imagining what thanksgiving is like based on "The Waltons", old issues of The Saturday Evening Post, and the last 4 dozen threads posted on Datalounge.
- There's a pedophile troll running rampant lately.
- I think the OP might be mentally damaged. The phrase is double bed dear.
And clearly you've never stayed in a hotel yourself, if you're not willing to get out of the house and go to one over the holidays.
- Looks like OP started Thanksgiving a little early.
http://www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ajax.html%23page:showThread%2C12152282%2C1
- [quote]You sound like a foreigner imagining what thanksgiving is like based on "The Waltons", old issues of The Saturday Evening Post, and the last 4 dozen threads posted on Datalounge.
I lol'ed.
And, to his credit, maybe Arrested Development, too.
- [quote] Yes, we are sharing a bed, a twin unfortunately.
Lol. TWNH
This%20Will%20Never%20Happen
- I'd stay at a hotel, too.
- When do you first have to sleep - erm not fuck - together, OP?
(well, he's playing along... )
- "And as the rosy fingered dawn alit upon each of my cousin's golden hued asshairs, I surreptitiously serpentined serpentined my eyeball's gaze along his form..."
-Sherri Shepherd sipping bubble tea loudly
- I didn't know Seth Meyers was rowing at Princeton. Where does he find the time?
- HOney you are going to be sick with a bad flu it will start around 3 AM wednesday with a pounding head ache, sore throat and serious flatulence. You will develop the runs and you will have aches all over your body. I know you wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving, but it's just an impossible situation.
Bot you go get provisioned sweetie and best of luck. If you do decide to stay healthy and go, bring a sleeping bag and sleep in the damned floor!It's ridiculous for you to be expected to share a twin bed. I don't think he wants it any more than you.
The other thing you could do is decided to leave early. Offer no explanation just say, "I'll just be staying until..." then leave. Rent a car. But leave.
- You are a 33 year old grown man. If this situation bothers you so much, go stay at a hotel. You are adult enough to have planned in advance for this type of thing. Why didn't you make better plans for the holidays?
- Bring a fucking air mattress.
Or take the mattress off the box spring and you end up with two beds
- uncut yum suck him and then fuck em
- Is a "fucking cousin" anything like a "kissing cousin"?
- Pre-lube.
Speak only in the third-person, making copious reference to "Mama's mussy."
Should he wake up to find you have three fingers buried deep in his hole, mutter something about misplacing a can of frosting.
- I hear the word "YUM!" can work wonders in the middle of the night.
- OP = Enraged at Sharing a Twin
- OP, no need to start a new thread for when you walk in on him jerking off.
- If you're going to Princeton there are motels & hotels galore around that area.OP, you're too old to be allowing this. Assert yourself. Stop acting like a twelve yr old.
- [quote] Incidentally, I'm 40 and have friends in their mid-20s, both straight and gay, with whom I have zero problems conversing. I also have friends 60 and (well) up -- same thing, no problems finding stuff to talk about.
That would be true for most anyone with even a modicum of intelligence. OP still hasn't reached that point.
- Stuff that turkey, OP!
- Is this another piece of fiction by the Galloping Gourmet?
- R 30 too funny. I almost laughed myself out of my chair. Thanks!
- Aren't twin beds and double beds the same thing? It goes twin/double, queen, jack, king, and ace (or what is known on the west coast as a California King).
- Remember, you can't spell "trollop" without "troll" and "op"
- May I be excused?
children's table
- [quote]'m a 33-year-old man
And you're too poor to afford to get a hotel room? Oh dear, you are the loser
- Here's a bed size chart for you size queens!
http://www.pacificstarproducts.com/assets/images/WebsiteInfoPics/BedSizesChartwithtextandnumbersready.jpg
- I want a California Queen and an extra long twin.
- I have to share a crib with a rape baby. It's totes unfair!
Stewie
- [quote]Aren't twin beds and double beds the same thing?
What is wrong with you? Have you never bought sheets? And this has been explained at least half a dozen times in this thread already: a twin is a single bed. They are called twins because they're usually arranged in pairs, since even a child could not share this size bed comfortably.
It's twin, full, queen, king, cailifornia king. Anything from a full up is considered a "double" bed, where two average sized adults could possibly share. But a twin is a child-sized or dormitory-style bed meant for, at most, a single average-sized adult.
- Get an inflatable mattress.
- Sigh. I remember the good old days on DL when the trolls actually tried to come up with a fairly plausible and believable story.
"The I'm in Love with my Father-in-Law" classic comes to mind.
- R3, you beat me to it...first thing I thought of.
- Me too R129. Those were the days.
old%20crank
- [quote]And you're too poor to afford to get a hotel room? Oh dear, you are the loser
Why would anyone spend $100 on a hotel room when he doesn't have to?
- Because that's what civilized adults do, R132, to avoid uncomfortable living arrangements.
- "He's uncut, I'm cut. He's a vegan, I eat meat. He doesn't smoke, I do. Yes, it was a bad job on my aunt's part in assigning roommates."
I'm still laughing at the idea that the OP's aunt should have been expected to take circumcision status into account when assigning roommates, since everyone knows cut and uncut people simply don't get along.
- Anyone else remember the creepy Flok family from the I think Wal-Mart commercials? They played football on thanksgiving and had weird low skulls? I flashed on that when I read OP's post about football and pies.
- Even though its a troll post : I'd go out with the young cousin and his friends and bring lots if weed and G. Get a hotel room and see what happens.
- I saw a very similar post today, OP it seems like you want us to tell you to fuck your cousin. You perv. I hope your cousin doesnt have to share a bed with you otherwise youd probably be fapping right next to him.
try%20harder%20darlin
- r137 is new here
- I know what I would do.
Hint: While I attended Princeton, I slept with my share of jocks, and my first sexual experience at age 14 was with my cousin.
2 mints in one
- So, OP, you seemed to ask for sympathy over your Holiday sleeping arrangements. What ARE you going to do? We need an update!
- How can people sleep with their cousins thats gross. I do have to say that it seems to be a bit to coommon in the US...
- Goodness, most of the South sleeps with blood relatives and enjoys it! Get over it, Mary!
Mississippi%20Incest
- R142 Well that explains alot...and it explains such creatures like Limbaugh.
- OP please dont sleep with your cousin.
OP%B4s%20mom
- [take a sleeping bag]
I agree with this comment.
- lol r12
- Very clever R125.
- Get an inflatable mattress and sleep in the living room.
- Just catching up with this thread, and I can't believe that even the biggest idiot who ever found his way to DL would believe for a moment that the original post was anything other than a joke -- especially after the follow-up about the nephews on the "wrestling team." OP, I hope your happy to have proven there are so many fools in the world (and on DL).
- R149 You are very intelligent, do you work for the CIA?
- The point, dear 150, is not that I'm so "intelligent" that I know OP's story is a joke; it's that so many people obviously took it as truth, even though it's so ridiculously over-the-top. But I guess you're too dim to understand.
- I think it's been pretty clear from the get go to all posters that this story is low-rent EST. Still, it doesn't mean we can't have fun with it.
- I had to put a towel down on my chair after reading this thread.
Nudist and heavy precummer
- R152, good EST's have to be clever and well written....and they must have at least the 'possibility', however slight, of being true. This one fails miserably on all counts. OP is lazy and stupid---like most of DL these days. {{sigh}}
You%20are%20too%20easily%20amused
- Oh yeah, that hunky uncut cousin. You can suck that yummy uncut cock all night then fuck him in the morning.
- Happy Turkey Lurking
- [quote]OP, I hope your happy to have proven there are so many fools in the world (and on DL).
Oh dear.
- Showing up with your own sleeping bag or inflatable mattress? How tacky. Are you the same people who bring your own sodas to restaurants?
- OMG, my cousin is broadcasting on Cam4 right now. I'm the guy in the background trying to disappear.
http://www.cam4.com/chiffchaff86
OP
- Um, cousin Peter? Is that you? I bet you never thought I was a data lounger.... A lot of the guys on my crew team are. We especially like to be underwhelmed. Anyways, we actually DO have a lot to chat about... I mean really, can you believe a TWIN bed?? With those sandpaper 100 thread count sheets... and omg, has uncle Mike ever tried to follow you into the bathroom? He's such a freaking perv? See you tomorrow Cuz!!
- That's what the guy who plays Elmo said, "We was just sharing a twin bed over the holidays"
- [quote]why wouldn't you just crash on the couch in front of the tv in the livingroom all night, problem solved. I do that when I'm home for the holidays and I have a room.
Because my uncle, who at 28 is actually younger than me, is sleeping on the couch. But seeing as it's a big couch and he has a slight swimmer's build from his years of playing water polo at Harvard, maybe I could share the couch with him. We'll see.
There is one more option which is the attic where 4 of my brother-in-laws are staying. But with 5 guys that's kind of a sausage-fest. And no, none of them are athletes. Lacrosse isn't a real sport and Cornell isn't a real Ivy.
OP
- Are you the one whose cousin keeps fucking him?
- We're sleeping double in a single bed...
My cousin's cute so I gave him head...
I sucked, he came and not a word was said...
We're sleeping double in a single bed
Barbara Mandrell
- OP (dba R162), that sounds like a lot of fancy education for a family whose black sheep thinks that the plural of brother-in-law is brother-in-laws.
No wonder they want you to share a room with someone who might educate you.
- OP (1) + Princeton crew cousin (2) + twin nephew (3) + twin nephew (4) + uncle on couch (5) + four brothers-in-law in the attic (9).
So that's at least nine adult (or near adult) males in the house, plus the women folk!
Oh, boy!
PLUMBER CLEARING THE BLOCKED TOILET IN OP's AUNT's HOUSE
