Please list your cast of characters, and describe the host. Thanks!
Big aging muscle bear, now misanthropic philosopher
Effete Aussie academian, indeterminate accent, prone to bishop like pronouncements.
Aussie's boyfriend a wild giggly South Afrikaner, full of energy and bitchy put-downs.
R1 You have the start of a potentially good movie.
Last minute change of venue: we WERE heading for the sister's place. She & hubby are the yuppies who live in a trendy neighborhood, house upstate, nice car, all the bells & whistles. Then last Thursday, hubby announces to sister he wants a divorce. Thanksgiving at their house is OFF.
So we're heading five hours south to another sibling's house, where we will talk around the issue until we've drunk enough and then Mom will let loose with her insane barrage of theories, there will be tears, and at some point the dumpee will probably turn on someone in her line of sight.
It'll be bloody.
My brother will be coming. Overweight and under-employed, he spends most of his time indoors reading conspiracy websites on his old (circa 1995) PC and collecting guns and gold. He believes the country is coming to the point of revolution, and soon money will be worthless. He also advises anyone in the family who takes prescription medications to drink apple cider vinegar daily, plus mega doses of vitamins. His hatred of Obama knows no bounds, as does his hatred of the health insurance and pharmaceutical industries. He believes there are concentration camps holding Americans like him here in the US. He has the entire US constitution memorized, and is saving his money to buy land in order to live off the grid in Montana or one of the Dakotas. We worry. We don't like to be alone with him.
Pass the turnips.
Three possible scenarios:
The first at my place with a Colt model and his wife who have moved in with me for 8 months.
The second, an invite to a gay best friend's house. He will have his fantastic family there and his insanely wealthy gay big brother and his much younger boyfriend.
Three, an invite to an architects home with his wife and some other people.
I'll be working. Hey, it's time + 1/2- and I had no plans anyway.
His mother - Devout Baptist widow.
His sister - Bitch. Loud and crass.
Her husband - Pussy-whipped
Their two daughters 13,10 - miserable little cunts.
We insisted on cooking. It gives us something to do so we can minimize interaction. They are also from the Baptist Buffet school of eating, where you cook a lot of food and put it all on the counter so you can pray around it. Then you load up your plate, sit and eat, and then leave. I'm from the Italian feast school, where you have courses and bring things out as need them. Yes, it extends the length of the dinner but it's much more civilized.
Me + the staff of McDonalds.
My gay brother, his partner, and their daughter. Brother will scream and throw a tantrum unless it is agreed he and his family will sit where he has chosen. There is also the call where he tells my parents he is done with me, and never wants to speak to me again. I assume this is because I take the time to call everyone to get together for the holidays. I've tried to include him or let him do this, but it leads to worse name-calling. His partner makes some rude remarks about our mother, and their 16 year old daughter will run from the table and hide food in the house. It has happened 4 years now, it would be a pleasant surprise if it didn't. I ignore it for the sake of having a nice Thanksgiving.
My grandparents who are great-grandparents as of 3 weeks ago. My grandfather has Parkinson's and dementia, and my grandmother lives to take care of him. I'm scared to think of what she will have to live for when he dies, but it might be to make remarks to my father to upset him. She will be two sheets by the time she arrives, or very soon after arriving.
My brother, his wife, and her parents. They are pretty civil, except for her father. He is a cop and will tell the most inappropriate stories. He's done a lot of horrible things in his past just from his stories if they are to be believed.
My sister, her husband, and their daughter. I love my sister, but I already know her daughter will be everything she talks about this Thanksgiving. I am very happy for her, but if we are talking about any topic, she will just say that is nice, but you will never understand the true joy of having kids.
My partner. I love him for accepting and putting up with my family. I wish he would invite his family, but any conversation directly revolves around how he hates them for not accepting him. I've talked to his family, and they love him very much, and any time I make that comment, he becomes irrational. I'd love to have his family there one day, but that choice will always be his to make.
My Aunts and Uncles. Nothing too crazy, but one of my uncles always likes to remind the african-american one of my cousins married that he does not understand black history and how good he has it in life. A generation ago he couldn't marry a white girl. Lovely.
I don't get to sit with my parents and grandparents like I would want even in my own house, but I am glad to have them all together to enjoy the holidays.
My sister and her husband. They
I'll be the host to:
Mom & Dad: Two very cool, volvo-driving, Obama-voting liberals.
Widow Aunt #1: A feisty, short statured woman who makes her own wine. She never hesitates to speak her mind.
Widow Aunt #2: Recently widowed, she is a retired school administrator who is often partners-in-crime with Widow Aunt #1. She'll be bringing along her son and his wife. See Below.
Cousin & Wife Couple #1: Widow Aunt #1's Son and his wife. I haven't seen him since I was a toddler and I've never met his wife(they live in a different state). This may be interesting.
Cousin & Wife Couple #2: My much older(1 year younger than my dad) cousin and his Mormon wife. Despite being Mormon, his wife is pretty chill and is an amazing cook. They are pretty cool and have a good relationship with their gay son. The only downside is that they don't like to drink.
Aunt & Uncle: My oldest aunt and uncle and the parents of my cousin from Cousin & Wife Couple #2. They are liberal Presbyterians in their late eighties. Sweet people.
Second Cousin and her Boyfriend: The daughter of Cousin & Wife Couple #2, She has rebelled against her upper-middle class, semi-Mormon upbringing and is living unmarried with a guy who I suspect is a Juggalo. He has tattoos, piercings and an overgrown beard. This cousin is definitely the black sheep of the family with her boyfriend, but he loves when I host a holiday dinner because I make sure he feels comfortable. He's also a smoker but is respectful and goes to the park across the street.
Me: I'm a 37 year old single twink chaser who avoids long-term relationships, but I make a mean, pecan pie and a baked Mac & Cheese that I now have to make every time we have a family get together.
Not really expecting any drama, but that's not what the holidays are about for me. I am looking forward to reading the Thanksgiving threads on DL though. They have become a tradition!
OP - Great thread!
I think that I'll stop by to visit R10! And perhaps be a fly on the wall for R3 and R9.
We don't do thanksgiving in Australia!
Me & the cats.
R9 & R10: How do you have enough chairs for all those people?
Mom, dad, brother, sister, myself and 4 crazy dogs. Plus a college aged nephew and high school aged niece. Brother, father of the high schooler, is divorced, arrives late and leaves early, while texting throughout the entire meal with one of his random sluts, usually setting up some kind of sexcapade with one of his bimbos. Sister, also divorced and neurotic, will bring some shitty desert she bought at the grocery store. She'll start off happy and pleasant, but as the day wears on, and old wounds are opened, she eventually flips out. Mother will be overly medicated as usual, will complain about how burdened she is to have to cook and clean everything. Dad, quietly observes and makes random jokes and compliments, and when things get heated for one reason or another, excuses himself to walk one of the dogs. When no one else is around, we talk about life and how things are going, and he is genuinely interested.
The meal begins when everyone arrives, but cheese, fruit and deviled eggs will be out to wolf down. Sister will fill up on these and barely eat any turkey. (She's rail thin). Of course, there will accusations of one of us having been adopted because we are all so different personality wise.
Throughout the day, at least one toilet will be plugged up, one of the dogs will vomit profusely, and something will be burned to a smoking mess that will set off the smoke detectors.
As the day winds down, I am usually the last to leave, to help clean up, move the heavy things around the house, and help bring the holiday decorations down from the attic.
Does my cat count? I'm spending Thanksgiving alone. I won't let that stop me from celebrating, though, as I gots a lot to be grateful for. Yes, I do! I plan to make a delicious vegan baked ziti and I will be taking my leftovers to a Buddhist retreat over the weekend. No, I'm not Buddhist and no, I'm not really vegan either. But I am grateful!
Thanksgiving is "me" time since my parents died. So this year it's me and a margarita on the gay beach in Puerto Vallarta. Once every two years or so, I'll call up one of my siblings and invite myself over, but this year I just want to read about the drama on DL and not live it.
Going with an old lover and still friend to eat at a country style buffet located in the Texas Hill Country and the Highland Lakes (Burnet, TX). The place is known to the locals for great food 365 days a year. Then back to his lake side house for a long chat about how drunk and crazy we were in the old days when we were making the Gay bar scene (We are both in our 60's). My present lover has to work Thanksgiving day otherwise the three of us would be together. Later on, the present lover and I will spend a quiet evening together. I will avoid my bible thumping, wealthy brother who is very moody and does nothing but complain about how shitty things are and how much worse they are going to be now that Obama is in for a second term. Ahhh...thank God that I was born both poor and Gay. HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y'ALL
[quote]Brother, father of the high schooler, is divorced, arrives late and leaves early, while texting throughout the entire meal with one of his random sluts, usually setting up some kind of sexcapade with one of his bimbos.
How do you know this, R19? Does he share this with you? Ewww....