- No latecomers!
We are stating our boundaries now.
- The little wimmin's table in the corner, the pre-rapists will have to fend for themselves on the lawn.
- Nut loaf with a seasonal twist - pumpkin seeds!
Also, nut-free nut loaf for those with nut allergies/sensitivity.
- I will be attending again this year if I can get three other womyn to pay the $95 carpool fee. After the discouraging events of last year, I feel compelled to remind everyone that the fee covers gasoline and automobile maintenance only. I cannot and will not be responsible for someone else's bad choice of inorganic food from a roadside convenience store. And please make the other riders aware of any food allergies before snack runs so we can avoid another ibs episode. As always I request all riders respect my boundaries and refrain from eating my yogurt or Twinkies from my thermal backpack (I know they're an abomination to mother earth and I am in therapy about my addiction to them).
Anyway, can't wait for the annual dinner. Will the utensils be properly segregated this year?
- I told myself this would be the year I attended the Thanskgiving potluck. It fills a want, a need, it is ME. Could anybody help and pitch in, maybe pay for my flight, my drive, my clothes, my lodging and if we can just stop at the pizza shop for just one slice, I should be able to make it.
I desperately need to go, I am incomplete without it.
- Who needs turkey's traced around your hand? Breast casting for the best resemblance to a squash!
And who can hold the most pearl onions under her womonly tyts.
- Are transwomyn welcome this year?
- We need to stop calling it NUT loaf. It wounds.
- NO BREADS OR ROLLS, PLEASE! I AM GLUTEN INTOLERANT AND EVEN BEING IN THE VICINITY OF GLUTEN WILL TRIGGER ME! I CAN'T STRESS THIS HIGHLY ENOUGH!
- I will bring my famous yeast-free, gluten-free, flour-free, flavor-free bread.
It can't mop up any tofu gravy but it keeps unwanted guests away.
- My fibromyalgia prevents me from helping with cooking or preparing or setting the table of cleaning.
But I am looking forward to the organic "Plumpkin Pie."
- If I can find the time to finally be able to GET THE FUCK OFF THE INTERNET, I'll bring cheese dip, chips and Butterscotch Schnapps.
- I am looking forward to the non-competitive games!
- I have been able to secure transportation to the Dinner and my heart is singing at the thought of communing with the sistren within a space safe from penised persons. Even though at the moment I can hardly see to type because Lu clawed my face with excitement when I told her we were attending.
- So help me Goddess, if there is one single leaf of cilantro in anything, you're going to see the business end of my cane.
- My cranberry mold is a wonderfully vulvic shape, not like the hateful, constricting and phallic canned cranberry with the ridges.
- CPAP machines will be at the ready for when the tryptophane kicks it.
- As a fat womon, would I still be useful on garbage detail?
- Please remember to sign up for a work shift when you arrive!
- I am deeply wounded by the lack of response to my ad for carpool womyn. I received one email from Sappho Blue but I question her commitment. If I do not hear from enough of you I will reconsider my devotion to the dinner as it stands. My commitment throughout the years has been steadfast and the current disrespect of my feelings by so many of you through your indifference is staggering. I am charging only $95 per person one way because I carefully calculated the cost (both physical and spiritual) to my Subaru and myself. I don't do this for myself. I am doing this for you and for you and I won't let you ignore me like this.
- Twirling my special annual dinner vagina cape as practice as we speak.
- How about if I bring some fish chowder?
- We will have a womyns masked ball after the exchange of food. No masks allowed tho, it could bring back rapey memories for systas.
No cutlery at the meal please, cutlery is phallic and some sistas may have been forced into domestic servitude at the hands of men-pists.
- Nobody will be admitted before 2:45. Please line up accordingly.
Small talk from three to 3:55. Appetizers possible with upgrade.
Dinner promptly at four.
Dessert served on the coffee table held up with cinder blocks at 5:05. Please do not help yourself if you did not bring anything.
Have your stuff ready to go at 6 and depart.
- Will wimmin of conservative conviction be allowed to attend, or is it just PUKEY NAMBY-PAMBY CRYBABY LIBERAL WUSSES?
- I'm making a cruelty free terrine from my sanitary pads if anyone is interested.
- I'm psyched for the after-dinner womb-based feminist improv!!!
- The only music I wish to listen to is "Lavender Jane Loves Women."
There will be no Holly Near.
- I refuse to eat anything that begins with the letter "p" out of solidarity to a womon-only gathering. Therefore, no peas, pecans, pies, pumpkins, parsnips, pistachios, peanut butter, prime rib, parsley, pastrami, peach cobbler or anything pan fried.
- I am preparing my quinoa NOW so I do not have to prepare it THEN.
- Can we have roast beef? Rare, please.
- The Men's (Rapist) table will be set up in the garage. A port-o-san will be provided.
- I will be bringing a box of homemade dandelion wine and my famous gluten-free, wheat-free, sugar-free, carb-free imitation nutloaf for the Laura Nyro drum circle outside the mentsrual hut. I do ask, however, that if you do smoke please bring your own Natural American Spirits, as I don't have enough for everyone.
- I assume this dinner will be clothing-optional, correct? I'll bring a towel to sit on. If I read the calendar right, I'll be menstruating (or should I say "womynstruating"?), but I use a Moon Cup so there shouldn't be any mess.
- Dont worry, R34. I'm bringing bin bags for everyone to sit on.
- I am growing bean sprouts in my nurturing space
- I asked about this last year, but when my requests went unheeded, I ate the meal in silence, seething with unspeakable rage. Please, no taper candles! Can't you see how penile they are? Can't you see how they could be used as tools of rape and degradation? I sat there in shock over my systers' insensitivity to my pain! The nut loaf was salted with my tears!
Please, round candles ONLY this year!
- Isn't turkey stuffing just a form of institutionalized haterape? I scream with angry rage for my bird systers!!!!
- R31, rare beef curtains shall abound.
- I'm bringing my own bacon sub
- The orientation video will be shown in the den as we welcome you to our feast and lay down the rules.
- i am only able to watch the video if skymoon does the interpretive sign language again. i realize no guest is hard of hearing but what if there was and there was an emergency with the string can casserole?
- Will the chairs be sufficiently strong to support Big Beautiful Wimmin? My GF weighs about 450 and I'm 507, so we need supportive seating!
- My pussy stinks. Do I have to eat outside again?
- I made a loaf of cornbread with yeast from my vagina oven.
- Womyn with sons over the age of five are reminded that their entire family must eat in the Brother Son garage. Last year one of the six-year-old boys got loose and made a brief appearance in the house. Male psychic vampirism of that sort cannot be tolerated.
- Can I bring 'Jo'? I just met her/moved in with her on Tuesday.
- This thread is funny because it's true.
- Hello systers in spirit! I've spoekn to the driver at Grayhound and good news! We can get a bus together all wimmin supportin each other and makin a safe spot on the road to the dinner! I'm working with ther driver to map out all the stops, we'll start outside Buffalo Ny then hit up Dallas Tx then swing over to Orlando FL. Then up to VT I know all of systers are up there, waitin for a chance at a ride.
It wont be all that much if we pitch in and support each other, whos with me?
- Will there be a healing circle for Womyn of Recovery?
- Cheese Roll Time! Start a rubbin' that skin now to get a good headstart.
- During the last year, I have been self-diagnosed with several environmental sensitivities, including contact scents.
Because of this I must state (not "ask" - "ask" implies a subservient position, while I am making a statement) that no one wear perfumes, scented soaps or deodorants while in the house itself. In addition, any Airwick-style air fresheners will have to be removed from the gathering for SEVERAL days before I arrive.
If any of this is unclear, please state it now and I will be glad to provide attendees with a complete list of things to which I have sensitivities well in advance, so there are no misunderstandings.
I look forward to communing with you in systerhood.
- Many of our sisters have a severe allergy to cilantro, and we expect notarized sworn testimony from womyn health inspectors that not one leaf has come near our nutloaf and gravy.
- During the feast, I will be playing a self-composed song on the Andean nose flute dedicated to all of the wimmin pilgrims who came over on the Mayflower's syster ship, the Mooncuppe. There will be lyric sheets distributed around the table for anyone who wishes to join in during the keening and wailing portion of the performance.
- Sally's Cut 'n Clip has an offer this week for haircuts. It's a good deal, make sure you ask for an appointment with Psyche, she does awesome bi-levels.
- I volunteer to serve the tofurkey loaf as usual:
- For those who are interested, we will be having a croning ceremony for Maia Wolfensdottir during the halftime of the Lions-Texans game.
All are welcome to attend. Bring your own sage for smudging. We will be in the garage.
- I have been informed that Denise has sent several emails telling other womyn not to carpool with me. Please know that the allegations in the emails are all lies and were brought on by an imbalance in pain medication from my foot surgery and an allergic reaction to second-hand smoke that poured into the car from an open window of a passing van.
- Can you please make sure that each dish served has a label on it with all the ingredients listed? And if it's sweet potatoes with marshmallows, all the ingredents for the marshmallows as well.
I don't have a lot of food allergies but all our systers will thank you for being so thoughtful.
- Wiil the local Curves be offering their usual 'systers-of-michfest' discount on their Saturday morning pilates class again this year? I must have a safe space to deepen my practice.
And, of course I'll be bringing my exersize ball to use as a seat through the afternoon and at the dinner table.
I am NOT paying for the extra seat on the Greyhound for my ball, it's a medical assist, I have a doctors prescription for it, my naturopath urged me to abandon chair-sitting last year and I've never looked back!
- I love you, R60.
If any of my fellow wymyn need a ride, I can easily accommodate 3 of you ( or one goddess sized systah ) All I ask is that you help pay for gas, DO NOT touch my sound system or re-arrange my Goddess figurines on my dashboard.
My Subaru Outback also has extra room for your canes and guitars as well as for the free range, cruelty free, 100% certified organic nut-free nutloaf you are bringing.
Please state your boundaries NOW.
I am looking forward to an incredible sharing experience with my fellow non-penised persons.
- I've just returned from the Womyn's Integrative Health Clinic (a bias-free safe space) I suggested to Megan, my RHN (Registered Holistic Nutritionist), that she join me this weekend if that's alright with the rest of you. She's a straight-forward uncomplicated gal. It will be her first time at an all-syster event, so be gentle with her ladies. I'm looking at you Trish; back off.
- I think I should state again that some of us have GLUTEN intolerance and therefore will not be able to partake of stuffing, gravy, bread, etc.
Also, Monica and I are on a carb-free diet so no potatoes, rice or even tofu. Will there be roast beef? Or did the vegans complain again?
- [quote]Will there be roast beef? Or did the vegans complain again?
MEAT IS MURDER! SIGN THE PETITION!
- I have an assistance dog, which I'll be bringing with me. She's a Great Dane, and a rather big one at that, so I will need my sisters to give her enough room to lie down during dinner. Please do NOT pet her when she's working!
I will bring her a water bowl, but she'd really love to lick your plates when you're done eating. Otherwise she tends to drool. A lot.
My lyfe mate, Dancingwillow Sundove, is 1/128th Native American First Peoples Nations Tribes.
PLEASE take into consideration the horrors that penised people of the Caucasian persuasion have inflicted upon our systers of Native American First Peoples Nations Tribe heritage by NOT displaying the so-called "Native American First Peoples Nations Tribe Corn" as a holiday decoration. The phallic shape may traumatize my lyfe mate and anger her ancestors. I am telling you this now so I don't have to tell you this later.
Also, please be advised that the menstrual hut should be referred to as the Moon Lodge in her presence.
- [quote]I will bring her a water bowl, but she'd really love to lick your plates when you're done eating.
I was told I'd get to do that. :(
- Since my chronic fatigue in the 90s and fibromyalgia in the 200s and now my cognitive dysfunction, I hope you'll understand that I will need special attention and care. extra blankets and pillows on my chair. I believe that I should be first in line for the food due to my anemia.
I think it would also be a good idea to weatch what I want on TV as the wrong thing could once again trigger my repressed memories of ritual abuse.
- Why is vaginal fisting STILL the unmentionable gorilla in the room?
- In the spirit of compromise, we have agreed that the meat-eaters' table can stay -- but the sign labeling it "Camp TransFat" is out of line and needlessly upsetting.
Please keep your attempts at humor to yourself.
- Fellow Michfesterians,
Please note that on Monday I spent quite some time gardening and have acquired a tan. Since then I have become very attuned to what it means to be a womin of colour. I ask that you all endeavor to be culturally sensitive to my new race, until my tan fades. Therefore I ask that no one bring blackberries (the food or phone), chocolate brownies, brown sugar or Indian cigars so as to not upset myself or my people( unless those people are penised in which case I dont care)
If I feel that anyone is crossing my boundaries whether as a womin or a womin of colour, I will have to express my anger through my interpretive dance of fury. And no one wants to feel the wrath of that dance again do we?
- Here is R72 and her new consciousness.
- I must respectfully request that all nut trees be cut down before our visit. Sister Starshine and I both have severe nut allergies. Even to pass by a nut-bearing tree would cause us such anguish as to end up near death at the ER.
And since neither of us can ask you to spend your annual dinner at the ER, we would ask that you please remove these trees from your premises.
- Oooo! I cannot wait to have you all try my special Red Vulva cake with tofu creamcheese frosting!
I will be leading a sky-clad Goddess ritual to give thanks for all of the blessings She has bestowed upon ALL wombmoons. Please bring an organic, soy candle cast from a mold of your lady garden or life nourishing breasts to light as we honor Her.
If you have an issue with iodized salt, please let me know in advance.
- R73, a week ago I may have found your little joke amusing (although I'm not known for my sense of humor). However as i am now a proud womin of temporary color, I find it deeply insensitive. I will be dancing furiously in your vicinity (although not too close as to cross boundaries) as soon as we arrive.
- So does anyone have an objection to me bringing my greenbean casserole and the homemade Mama Stamberg's cranberry relish?
- [quote]So does anyone have an objection to me bringing my greenbean casserole and the homemade Mama Stamberg's cranberry relish?
Green beans = phallocentric. Please try again.
- I signed up for the clean-up work shift, but my partner Terry is anxious about her first extended day-trip with her traveling CPAP machine, so we may need to leave immediately after eating. Could a womyn who signed up for an earlier work shift possibly trade with me?
Sorry, r80--but I'm on garbage detail.
- I will bring Cheetos balls. I have a good dozen of them still wedged under my breasts from the Gathering.
- Any interest in watching a game after the meal or maybe even getting together for a game of touch football in the Wimmin's Freedom Field (formerly the abandoned lot across from SysterSpace)?
- [quote]Please note that on Monday I spent quite some time gardening and have acquired a tan. Since then I have become very attuned to what it means to be a womin of colour.
- This is hilarious!!!!
- I would love to r83 but after my two knee replacements, the doc says no more contact sports. And it's rather difficult to catch a pass holding a cane in one hand.
- I've never even heard of MichFest. OK I can't stop laughing at the term, "penised person," and I assume long, hard cucumbers and carrots, even cut up into more feminine looking circles, are taboo. What's the real deal with this "dinner/fest?"
- You're not from around here, are you, r87?
- NO GOURDS ON THE TABLES...THEY WOUND!!
- Then you're not using them right Syster C! Call me maybe?
- [quote]Isn't turkey stuffing just a form of institutionalized haterape? I scream with angry rage for my bird systers!!!!
It is like mounting the dead. I will not attend. I will not perpetuate the turkey holocaust.
- R88, I've only visited the East Coast once. The almost all female family I grew up in believed that men were far superior to women. My grandmother teased my widowed mother that there was finally "a male" in the household, my fixed male cat.
- OK wimmin I got an update. We are getting two large busses for the ride. The first bus (Gaia) will do the northcentral pickup in Oregon, washington and north calif. The southwest bus (Vulvavoom) lol, will start in Vt and pickup in Ioaw and Wisconsin. I will driving my special pussywagon for the wimmin paying for the extra special express. Remember to send me your photo so I can make sure u have waht it takes to ride with me!
This is so grat wimmin workin to bring together the systerhood suppotin each other. Nothing better. my heart sings
- Venus / R64 - how DARE you suggest we revisit roast beef for our dinner. Do you not remember 2010 and Sunbeam's party trick with cranberry relish to create Hilda's roast beef curtains?
I am still traumatized. And i don't believe the stain is out of the wallpaper (we should check under the crochet dreamcatcher from the Iowa Womyns Guild from last year's nondenominational gift exchange)
- We have so much to be thankful for this holiday, systers.
I persynally am thankful my fibromyalgia is in partial remission so I can bear to to steer my mobility scooter onto The Land to partake in this delicious cruelty-free, fragrance-free, vegan antipatriarchal feast.
- Pardon ME, r94, with your delicate sensibilities regarding beef curtains! I, for one, was very entertained by Sunbeam's party trick and found it rather erotic. (giggles).
As I stated before, both Monica and I are gluten-free and carb-free so we will need something for sustenance during the long feast. It would be a shame for us to come all this way and not be able to partake because our sisters did not take our dietary restrictions into consideration!
- I'll have my boat motor in the back of the pickup truck that we could take apart and rebuild if things get slow through the afternoon. She's a sweet black Mercury an' she's got 250 horses in her. Dontchya worry, I got tools enough for everyone!
- Is there a dress code? I was going to wear my new Kente cloth caftan with matching headwrap, and the wooden bangles that Magick Clitoris gave me at last year's gathering. Please note, I can't stay late because I am opening my store (The Black Womyn's Empowerment Circle bookstore) early tomorrow, in anticipation of Black Friday shopping.
I promise not to wear as much patchouli this year, although I do think my sistahs with allergies should be more culturally sensitive to my daily anointing rituals.
Please, no pork.
- Yam on the land! Yam on the land!
- [quote]Magick Clitoris
It's Magyck Clytorys, you sloth!
Well, I'm sorry, systers, but last year Aprodite Savannah Huntress was a little too sappho-friendly and some of us didn't have a chance to spread the love as a result.
- R87 There's a lot of tradition at Datalounge that just goes unexplained, It's either too complicated and would require a long winded explanation or we don't know why we keep talking about it. Things like cak, graxy,dataloungland, Miss Sissy Boodles,tinhats, prancing ponies,sheep,making your own lube or an of a thousand things, just roll with it and try not to act too "new".
- You can Google Michfest, too.
Just don't do it at work.
It's a holiday tradition. Sort of.
- I knew a girl like R87 once.
But then she died.
- R87 is why we can't have nice things.
GET THE FUCK OFF THE INTERNET!!!
- R87, Thanks. I already googled Michfest; didn't know it was an annual tradition at DL.
R104, You sound like the R/R haters. Get a better candidate next time, if you want to defeat a smart Dem.
- Being a suburban white syster but with the reincarnated spirit of a Nubian princess flowing through my chakras, I take offense at the term "Black Friday". If it is okay with my fellow systren, I suggest using "Winmin of Color Friday". I have spoken and hope you respect my boundaries.
- sister - why is that day female-gendered? I do not think our matriarchal spirit is that capitalist focused. We all know the female spirit is truly giving.
i on that day will get up at sunrise and relieve the world of such patriarchal consumerism by baking my famed okra egg quinoa cookies and pass them out for those in the pre-opening queue at Homegoods with a pamphlet for our tantric pilates on Tuesday nights.
- I donated a Home Depot gift card to the earthen-toned woman on the street corner, who is empowering her life experience by adopting an alternative residential paradigm. A tent might complement her choice nicely. Also, I will not fall prey to the patrio-mercenary mutation of the corrupt Christo-centric winter season celebrations of the bourgeois. And I have all the wrenches I need.
- A gentle reminder to watch Demeter Harvestgoddess around the dandelion wine. As you may know, she is a syster/womyn in recovery and is still on shaky ground because she is still working through her repressed memories of abuse while trying to stay sober and sometimes it gets to be too much for her.
If Demeter happens to chug the wine when no systers are looking and begins crying hysterically, I need a list of volunteers to help me force-feed her nutloaf and cruelty-free vegan omelettes to sop up the alcohol in her stomach and sober her up. Please see Persephone Eleusinian for the sign-up sheet. And remember, this is on the hush-hush so as not to offend Demeter or upset her boundaries.
- I'm sorry but I will have to decline your invitation to Thanksgiving dinner unless you agree to cut down all the oak and chestnut trees on your property, as I am allergic to nuts in any form.
- As a favor to our more sensitive systers, I demand that any aluminum foil used for leftovers be unscented and cruelty-free. I have stated my boundaries.
- "My pussy stinks. Do I have to eat outside again?"
Cheryl at r44 -
Please god, no!!!
The neighbours 3 streets away...
- I will bring my gyngerbread wimmin for all, getting a start on the Yule season.
Please do not eat them, however. They are full of empowerment.
- Blessed be! It looks like the Dinner will be well-attended. Accordingly, I need to know whether there will be preferred parking status for wimmin with fibromyalgia, CFS, recovered memory syndrome, and any other condition that might make moving from a vehicle into the building physically or emotionally painful.
Also, if there are penised persons living in the homes adjacent to the site of the Dinner, I would appreciate an escort from the curb to the door. Perhaps we could sign up in shifts to create a Wall of Wimmin, a Sistren Shield! lining the front walk. This would prevent any intrusive eye-rape by neighboring males.
Finally, my child is an Indigo child. As such, she is not accustomed to having any of her preferences thwarted. I am telling you NOW so that I do not have to tell you THEN.
- Good goddess, Moonblossom Bloodflow -- you're the OP, how many wimmin did you invite? It sounds like all of MichFest will be trying to crowd into your house!
- just about ready to dump by yule log
- [quote]I am looking forward to the non-competitive games!
I'll be bringing Gynopoly, Clitionary, and beer pong!
- Systers, I am extend an open invitation to celebrate at my home. I will be serving squirrels, death.
- Will there also be cake or death, sister Rose?
That sounds like a rather enticing prospect.
As long as there are no nut trees in your yard or penised persons in your neighborhood.
- I am a transwomon, but no one would ever guess it, so long as you don't have a panty examination at the door.
Of course, if you're examining the contents of everyone's panties at the door, it might take a long time to get everyone inside. Don't want the tofurkey to get cold...
- OK, just so y'all know, Aphrodite Savannah Huntress at R98 is actually Annie Laurie Lindstrom from Edina, Minnesota. Mm-hm, 100% Norwegian. "Sistagyrl" got [italic]all[/italic] kinds of offended when we wouldn't let her in the Breast Casting for Womyn of Color workshop at this past Fest.
- My youngest, Katrina (a child of rape conceived during the hurricane), uses cranberry sauce to make the most inspired murals. So if she does it at this gathering, I must respectfully ask my systers not to hinder the free expression of her creativity! If necessary, you can wash it off after we leave, because I will have photographed it and posted it to my blog by then ("WomonLotus Rising").
- May I remind you all to label your cane before you arrive? I can bring a label maker for any womyn who forgets. Last year my warnings went unheeded and I know that two womyn inadvertently exchanged nearly identical canes upon leaving. One of these womyn is a dear friend and she told me her fibromyalgia was exacerbated on Black Fridy when she went shopping with a cane that was just slightly different from the one she was used to. The damage had been done by the time she realized she had the wrong cane.
- [quote] One of these womyn is a dear friend and she told me her fibromyalgia was exacerbated on Black Fridy
STOP! I clearly stated my boundaries at R106 when I said I take offense at the term "Black Friday"! It's "WiMmin of Color Friday"! I HAVE RESTATED MY BOUNDARIES. PLEASE RESPECT THEM.
- Please note that Brother Sun Garage is not heated. Also, no food will be served.
- I have some chairs we can use but I usually use them for the fest and they are low to the ground. Would the wimmin of size be able to roll out of them?
- Here's hoping that this year's feast will be as delicious as last year's, except no hep c this time!
- For the little wimmin in attendance, I will bring a real holiday treat on VHS: my timeworn copy of "The Burning Bed."
I think they will truly grow to love this feel-good classic as much as I.
- ^ Why not make it a double feature? I'll bring [italic]I Spit on Your Grave[/italic]!
- Systers, remember it's not too late to sign up for the Jewelle Gomez Poetry Slam, which will take place immediately after the post-dinner cleansing ritual.
We are womyn-born-womyn and we scream with angry power!
- One word of warning to you all: SHIGELLA. That really should be sufficient.
- My husband will let me come, but only if he chaperones me. He promises he won't say anything too inflammatory, so please save two seats for us. I'll bring snickerdoodles.
- Excuse me? Your husband?! Who said that? Did I really hear the word 'husband' or is it just my crazy imagination? YOUR HUSBAND?!!! Does he have a penis? I SAID, DOES HE HAVE A PENIS????!!!! Syster, understand this now so that I don't have to say it again later - the very acknowledgement of a husband is FORBIDDEN, let alone this penis-posessing-person (PPP) coming within 10 miles of our syster-dinner.
- blessed be, systers in space. Denise here and we are on the road, wimmin helping wimmin get to the sacred feast. The southern trail bus left AZ today for Boston, with stops in Fl, Philadelphia and El Paso. Bus 2, Gaia Express, is havin issues with the GPS, I think they crossed into meixo by accident so we may have some mexican wimmin at our event!
My wagon is loaded up, jsut got five stops to pick up the vicitms, I mean, lovelies. My gear is packed, the bowl is full. Jsut need cash!
- I can't wait! I haven't been this excited since that time in 1990 when Phranc was on line ahead of me at the airport. I almost hugged her, I mean, she didn't state her boundaries so it probably would have been ok.
Speaking of which, I volunteer to make the playlist for dinner. Your suggestions? I still have most of my Indigo Girls mp3s that I downloaded from Napster back in the day.
- Please add to your playlist the following muscians: Sue-age and the Honey Buckets; Ewezealand; Henna Delite; Muff Pocket; I Don't Need No Stinkin' Dildo, Minnie Tonka Badonka and Menstrual Wind.
Thank you from the bottom of Tevas!
- Tevas and Umbros!
- Paper plates are environmentally wasteful. Perhaps we shall eat either with our hands or on burlap?
- Everyone should bring her own plates and silverware, and take them home when they're dirty. That way it's both environmentally green AND lessens the task for the clean-up crew.
There WILL be a clean-up detail, right? I won't be able to stay, so I'll have to be given some other task.
- C-can I j-j-join you this y-y-year?
Janice, the Weepy Lesbian Vegan
- I was hoping we could eat off the hand-crafted dishes I bought from a wimmin's collective while I was a journey of self-discovery to find my inner goddess in South America. They do have a very high lead content so it would be best to stop eating from them once you start feeling light-headed.
- I will be dressing in leaves and twigs as a tribute to the tree that used to be known as the watermelon tree.
- Will there be a shuttle from the driveway to the front door? I am a womon of size and these cankles are hell.
- R 133= Demeter got into the vanilla extract.
OP stated that PP could attend, as long as they, and any pre-rapists, remain in the unheated, foodless garage.
I think having them on THE LAND is a bad idea, but I will make my famous seaweed geletan yoni mold anyway.
- I regret I will not be able to attend. That weekend is a Women's Art Festival and Sale in Burlington Vermont. (I know, I know. The spelling. I told them my boundaries and they ignored them.)
I will be selling my environmentally friendly Moon Caps. Just plant in the earth with some seeds, and you will have a stunning plant to crone at.
- [quote]Will there be a shuttle from the driveway to the front door? I am a womon of size and these cankles are hell.
No shuttle, but we do have ramps for your motorized wheelchair or scooter, and plenty of plugs for recharging them while we eat.
- Hi little ladies,
My names Brian McArthur I'm a potato farmer who is new to this intraweb thingy. As it turns out every time I google Michigan Worm Festival which is the festival I'm interested in attending, I end up on your site. Now I have nothing against the ladies getting together, our youngest Shelly is a lesbeen bless her heart, but it doesn't help me none. Could one of you gals point me in the right direction. What do I need to type into this here computer to acquire information on worm Festivals? I know I'm a "penised person" (oh Lordy that was good for a laugh) but I've never so much as looked at another lass since marrying Margy 46 years ago, so you can consider me safe as houses.
Thank you kindly,
Ps Shelly if you're reading this, can you call Mom to let her know if you're coming to your Uncle Barrys 60th? But don't expect any of us to call you moonflower or some such, your Nan will have none of that. Bring a salad.
- Thread is officially dead.
- That someone isn't you, R149.
You have no right to state other's boundaries.
- I am bringing a pussy willow bake marinated in cat pee, the feline elixir.
- R149 is a mansplainer and haterapist. I direct my righteous womonrage in his direction!
- Someone can ride with me; I have room in my new Vulva.
- Who's up for a softball game afterwards?
- That's VOLVO, Rose!
- I think expecting womyn to cook and bake and bring and clean up afterward is just perpetuating the patriarchal paradigm. I will therefore stand as an agent of change in my refusal to provide food for this meal.
I will, however, be glad to eat of the gracious labors of my systers. And I will come HUNGRY!
- Dad, I told you to stop using my computer!
I will not be coming to your house, I met my life partner last night, and I will be helping her pack her things into a U-haul on the fest of mass consumption.
And you KNOW I changed my name!
- Would anyone be interested in a Season 3 marathon of "Xena: Warrior Princess" after dinner?
- How do I know your tofurkey baster hasn't been in contact with whoevers rape-sauce you used to create precious Emma Sage? I'd be injesting traces of his procreative batter! That's a line I won't cross.
There, boundaries stated.
- These are some tasty appetizers
- Wait to the occupiers show up. Hell's gonna break lose!
- I'm pretty sure Xena Wolfmoon here will be attending the dinner.
- A few womyn have been asking if they can arrive early to get the exact seat they prefer, especially if they want to be adjacent to an outlet for their CPAP machines and so forth.
The answer is NO. Orientation for new womyn begins at 2:00 and returning womyn are to arrive at 2:45. We will need the entire 45 minutes for orientation, so these times CANNOT be adjusted. Please do not ask.
- R162, My service wolves also need special accommodations. They will not be wearing their special vests, as they're not made from natural fibers.
- R160, I did NOT give you my permission to post my photo! I was only munching on that brick of USDA cheese to tide me over until lunch. I will bring three bricks of cheese to our dinner together (all right, two and whatever is left over after my drive -- after all, I live 20 minutes away!).
- All this talk is making me hungry. Do we have to wait till T-day, or can I come over now? You've already started cooking, right? My motorized wheelchair and CPAP won't be in the way. Where's your spare bedroom?
- I will be bringing my little gaia, Olivia, but her brother will be with his father. I told him that it's like Brother Sun Camp off the land.
Olivia is dealing with Pica so please do not bother her if she wanders over to the potted plants.
- I will not be attending unless and until I can be reassured that ONLY WBW will be present. Only WBW are worthy of nut loaf, gluten-free pie, and other Thankswomon Day festivities. It is the day we mourn our Mother Gaia, as she dies only to be reborn at our EastHER celebration in the Spring. Any penis--real or ghost penis of a transNONWOMAN is unwelcome!
These, my sisters, are my hard and fast boundaries. Let us cross shields against the haterapists and penisedpersons, and not swords of WOMON fighting WOMON!
- [quote]I told him that it's like Brother Sun Camp off the land.
Not quite. Once everyone has arrived, we will be shutting the garage door, and there's no air conditioning or heating in there. And no place to sit. It's basically a large holding cell. And the inmates will have to bring their own food, because I ain't sharin' my nutloaf with no rapists.
Will there be special parking places for mobility challenged wymyn? Last year, my Little Rascal scooter ran out of power, but thank Goddess I was able to get a ride with Morningstar and Sea Kitten in their Subaru to The Land.
I found out later that my scooter was assembled by people of the penised persuasion. It was all just a plot by the rapists to curtail the empowerment of wymyn---particularly wymyn of size with mobility issues.
- [quote]Will there be special parking places for mobility challenged wymyn?
It's a private home on a suburban street. Of COURSE there are no special parking spaces. If you don't get here early, you may be riding your mobility scooter for several blocks. Or maybe you can park at the middle school about 1.5 miles away and carpool with someone.
- I'm almost there!
- Don't panic, R4
Adapted from leitesculinaria.com
Time: 1 hour 40 minutes
FOR THE CAKES:
Nonstick cooking spray or vegetable oil
60 grams ( 1/2 cup) cake flour
30 grams ( 1/4 cup) all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons milk
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
5 large eggs at room temperature, separated
12 tablespoons sugar
1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
FOR THE FILLING:
6 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature
165 grams (1 1/2 cups) confectioners’ sugar
3/4 cup Marshmallow Fluff
2 tablespoons heavy cream.
1. For the cakes: Heat the oven to 350 degrees and adjust the oven rack to the lower-middle position.
2. To make single-use Twinkie molds, cut 12 pieces of aluminum foil 12 inches wide by 14 inches long. Fold each piece of foil in half lengthwise, then fold it in half again to create a rectangle that’s about 6 inches long and 7 inches wide. Repeat to make a dozen rectangles.
3. Place one sheet of folded foil on a work surface with a standard-size spice jar on its side in the center of the foil. Bring the long sides of the foil up around the jar, folding the sides and ends as necessary to make a tight trough-shape from which the jar can be removed. Repeat to make 12 foil molds. Spray generously with nonstick spray or coat with vegetable oil. Place the molds on a baking sheet.
4. In a mixing bowl, whisk together the cake flour, all-purpose flour, baking powder and salt. In a small saucepan over low heat, heat the milk and butter until the butter melts. Remove from the heat and add the vanilla. Cover to keep warm.
5. Using a standing mixer, beat the egg whites on high speed until foamy. Gradually add 6 tablespoons of the sugar and the cream of tartar and continue to beat until the whites reach soft peaks.
6. Transfer the beaten egg whites to a large bowl and add the egg yolks to the standing mixer bowl (there’s no need to clean the bowl). Beat the egg yolks with the remaining 6 tablespoons sugar on medium-high speed until the mixture is very thick and a pale lemon color, about 5 minutes. Add the beaten egg whites to the yolks, but do not mix.
7. Sprinkle the flour mixture over the egg whites and then mix everything on low speed for just 10 seconds. Remove the bowl from the mixer, make a well in one side of the batter, and pour the melted butter mixture into the bowl. Fold gently with a large rubber spatula until the batter shows no trace of flour and the whites and yolks are evenly mixed, about 8 strokes.
8. Immediately scrape the batter into the prepared molds, filling each with about
3/4 inch of batter. Bake until the cake tops are light brown and feel firm and spring back when touched, 13 to 15 minutes. Transfer the pan containing the molds to a wire rack and allow the cakes to cool in the molds.
9. For the filling: Using a mixer, beat together the butter, confectioners’ sugar and Marshmallow Fluff. Add the cream and beat just until smooth.
10. Just before filling the cakes, remove them from the foil. Using the end of a chopstick, poke three holes in the bottom of each cake. Wiggle the tip of the chopstick to make room for the filling. Transfer the frosting to a pastry bag fitted with a 1/4-inch round tip. Pipe frosting into the holes in each cake, taking care not to overfill, until it gently expands. Unlike real Twinkies, these won’t last indefinitely. They’re best served still slightly warm.
Yield: 12 homemade Twinkies.
- I'm telling you now that if I act out in an aggressive and/or compulsive manner it will me a manifestation of my Lyme disease. Therefore, I know I will be able to count on your patience and understanding.
Based on past experiences, I am told the best way to handle me if the Lyme flares up is simply to give me everything I ask for, and to do whatever I say. This minimizes the possibility of violence.
So looking forward to seeing you all again.
P.S. Remember that red wine give me headaches, so have plenty of white.
- Take your rape-pastries away, R173!
- [quote]Thanks. I already googled Michfest; didn't know it was an annual tradition at DL.
Annual? There is the fest itself. There are the discussion boards about the fest. Now, the pre-solstice feast. It's always Michfest time.
- Apparently we're not the only ones who state their boundaries. This one has honed it to a fine art:
- Oh, I almost forgot: I'm sorry.
(I apologize now because I won't be sorry then.)
- In order to meet our wimyn's needs, we will serve air for dinner. We will have a five-hour discussion about whether the windows should be open and whether a humidifier or dehumidifier is needed in the room
- R179, thanks for the warning. I am allergic to fresh air, so if there is even the slightest possibility that windows will be open, I will plan to stay home.
- Hello Ladies--I hope you don't mind a question from a sympathetic man. In looking through the pictures on the internet, I noticed that quite a few of you go topless on the land. Why? It's not like there are any men around to impress. Wouldn't you be more comfortable with some support up there? Just curious.
- I am supplicating the goddesses in hopes of finding the love of my lfe at the festie gathering. Just think, our eyes may meet across the Tofurkey and quinoa/kale casserole, and the magick could spontanously ignite our sacred womonseed vessels!
Apologies in advance for a possible abrupt departure and/or divine consummation on the front lawn.
- r173, I must strongly object. Your pastries are not made with cruelty-free ingredients: indeed, I've noticed they call for butter, which is a by-product improperly derived from our syster mammals the cows, often by male handlers who touch their breasts in a non-permissible fashion. Moreover, your recipe uses the word "beat," which is a patriarchal hatespeech term we simply cannot abide.
- r181: EEEEEEEEEEK!
MAN ON THE CYBER-LAND!
MAN ON THE CYBER-LAND!
- Ishtar--I did not present the recipe as my own nor did I assure anyone that there would be nothing offensive in it.
Feel free to make any adjustments to the recipe that your conscience requires. (There are womyn-only dairy farms, you know.) However, if you intend to distribute them at dinner please be sure to label them as Faux Twinkies. I wouldn't want people to confuse them with the ones I will be bringing.
I choose to interpret the word "beat" in this context to refer to the rhythmic nature of the required strokes. If you see violence, that is your problem.
P.S. Don't pretend R4 is alone in being in a state of panic at the news that Hostess is shutting down. I've been on garbage patrol and I've seen the wrappers.
- r173/r185, you refuse to recognize your own use of the hateword "beat" as unacceptable, nor your advocacy of cruel animal-based products. This kind of dissent against my stated boundaries is no more tolerable than lateness would be at a breast-casting seminar for womyn of color.
Please respect my boundaries, r173/r185. I have just stated my boundaries again.
- In any case, Twinkies are too phallic. I already have a call in to my therapist to request her assistance in helping me scrub the mental image of wimmin being pressured to place phallic pastries in their mouths. It is mouth rape and you are mind-raping me by suggesting their inclusion at the dinner.
Nonetheless, I would like to inquire whether I, a WBW, will be welcome to wear a strap-on to the event. It will be hidden under my Carhartts. I wear a synthetic penis every day as a means of empowerment.
I can not WAIT to celebrate Giving Thanks To Gaia with my syster wymyn!
In honor of such an wymyn empowering event, I have written a short play ( to be performed by myself and my lyfe syster Marigold Moon ) entitled "Please Respect My Bounderies--A View From The Hovround". Some parts are interactive and improv based, and I wholeheartedly encourage my systers to participate in this empowering ode to wymyn. ( Play performance subject to my fibromyalgia acting up and / or Marigold's Chronic Fatigue Syndrome relapse)
- Can I bring twinkies if I promise to break them in half?
- R189, those Twinkies will need to be sliced to ribbons in order to obliviate their phallic shape. If you cut them crosswise each section will resemble an ovum, which is acceptable.
- Break down those twinkies and make them into doughnuts.
Celebrate your womb with systerly pryde!
No,r189! "Twinkie" is a derogatory term for a young, physically gifted penised person that our gay brethren use as a term of derision and scorn. We, as empowered wymyn, are empathic to our fellow victims of such disenfranchising slurs.
Also NOT ALLOWED on our sacred wymyn space are "Ding Dongs"---their very name implies an instrument of rape and male dominance and WILL NOT be tolerated!
Please, also DO NOT bring "Sno Balls". Their shape and coconut covering are symbolic of the penised people's testicles and pubic hair. Such a display of supposed "male superiority" and sexual innuendo WILL NOT BE TOLERATED! Please---I am telling you this now so I do not have to tell you later!
You MAY bring "Little Debbie's" cakes, as she is a wymyn of empowerment--EXCEPT the Swiss Rolls and Boston Cream Pie rolls. The phallic shape of these particular pastries may traumatize our systers and they might recall their ritual abuse at the hands of penised people.
- Dinner organizer here. Could I please get a head count? Because I only have a certain number of seats at my table, and only a limited amount of space elsewhere in my house. It sounds like hundreds of people are coming, and I only have room for, like, 20. Fifteen if they're on scooters.
Perhaps kick the penised people out of the Brother Sun garage? I'm sure some of our systers who work at Home Depot or Tractor Supply can rig up a generator to provide heat to ease the pain of fibromyalgia and power to re-charge our mobility chairs?
BTW--the use of the term "HEAD count" has violated my boundaries. A penis has a head, and the term "giving head" is a term for throat rape.
- My first post was misunderstood as my son has been to Michfest and we stayed at Brother Sun. Olivia was at Gaia. I stated that my son will be with his likewise penis enhanced other male mother and they will be off the land at the other male mother's sister's for the festivity. As it will only be me and Olivia, I will be bringing suitable organic French clay for her, I suggest that the aforementioned garage be used for suitable womyn sitting. As I know the garage is on an easily assessable street level, I suggest all the mororized chairs and womyn of unbridled substance be placed their to offer them comfortable accommodations.
I believe that more that one of the above mentioned systers are not original born women and I for one will not partake of nut loaf while there are actual nuts loafing at the festive table.
- We cannot have ONLY tofurkey because I am allergic to soy. I'll take the real bird, please. Preferably a Tom turkey. They're more flavorful, and it will be pleasant to see a dozen hungry womyn devouring a male.
- I'm bringing mashed potatoes. You know, the pre-made kind, just pop in the microwave, peel off the cellophane, stir, and serve. You DO have a microwave, don't you?
I'm a dyke. I repair cars. I don't cook.
- Removal of all nut trees from the property has already been addressed. However, I want to suggest an excavation at least 20 ft across and 4 ft deep at the former tree locations, to remove any residual traces of nuts that may have fallen from the trees.
In addition, I need a route from the airport to the house that avoids all streets that may have nut trees. We all recall what happened to syster Witheringcrone in Georgia, when her truck got a flat next to that peanut field!
- Yeah, well I *have* to have nuts in my nutloaf. It's just not Thanksgiving without it. So I suggest those with nut allergies just stay away. Perhaps you can find a hermetically sealed cave someplace.
- Considering the growing guest list, I think space will be tight for guitars and Her-Her (formerly known as Tom-Tom) drums. There isn't even going to be room for interpretive dance or throwing pottery.
Creativity and expression will be woefully unrepresented this year at the expense of being a Dinner of Inclusion.
There are still too many unresolved issues over microphones anyway. The microphone caucus met last month and could not come to agreement if their phallic shape is acceptable when trying to establish a Safe Space for Womyn.
Some advocated mic-less performing as the extra vocal effort will serve a dual purpose of Primal Scream therapy, others protested performing anything at loud volumes due to the sensitive ears of Womyn of Hearing Loss.
We can watch football.
- There will be NO FOOTBALL. We will be watching a Cranford marathon on PBS. If that isn't to your liking, stay outside on the porch.
- [quote] Yeah, well I *have* to have nuts in my nutloaf. It's just not Thanksgiving without it. So I suggest those with nut allergies just stay away. Perhaps you can find a hermetically sealed cave someplace.
MAN ON THE LAND!
- [quote]There will be NO FOOTBALL.
A gathering of lesbians, and no football? Are you mad?
- OMG, not only does this piece of shit fest exist, the posts here on DL actually represent the participants quite accurately. Read the link and have a huge guffaw. Good lord!
- After last year's disastrous mixup, I will have to bring a different sweet snack for my beloved systren. I still can't believe some of you mistook my moon pies for moon cups.
- Perhaps since so many wimmin are planning to attend, we can move the venue from Moonblossom Bloodflow's home to a local softball field. In an open space, we can accommodate many wimmin and their varied needs and boundaries. Nutloaf lovers and the nut-free can have their own tables. An outdoor venue also ensures that we will not disturb any neighbors when we scream with angry power.
I will use my Home Depot employee discount to purchase a generator and various power sources so that those in need may recharge their mobility devices and CPAPs.
Please, everyone, bring your vagina capes. We will use them to construct a privacy curtain around the perimeter of the field.
- My girlfriend Sam is the general manager of the Home Depot nearby. They are officially closed Thanksgiving, so as long as we are discreet we can move the feast indoors. Ideally, we'd be in the power tool section, but there is more space in lumber so we may have to settle for there. We can make tables out of plywood and workbenches!
Sisters--THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: Park in the back.
- r204, are you headless?
- [quote]I believe that more than one of the above mentioned systers are not born women and I will not partake of nut loaf while there are actual nuts loafing at the festive table!
This had to be said again.
- R204, you should have posted the Intensive Workshops page.
- [quote]I believe that more than one of the above mentioned systers are not born women
WOMYN, it's womyn, NOT wom*n. Good Goddess, anyone would think you were a man-swine and not a systa.
- I have my vagina cape and "hairy pussies" shirt all ready to go! Would it be ok if I brought my famous dish of crabs with red sauce to the festivities this year?
- r211, I was the victim of a rapist programmed spell-autocorrect.
I am sorry.
It won't happyn agyne.
- In all seriousness, I just found the official Michfest nutloaf recipe, scaled down for 12, and it actually sounds good.
- Will we also be having a Chryst-Ms. celebration in December?
- That's not a loaf.
- I'll be starting my period during the relish course--but please don't make a fuss.
- No Twinkies or Ding-Dongs. Got it.
Are Ho-Ho's allowed?
- [quote]Are Ho-Ho's allowed?
That's a point of controversy. Some members of our community wish to break the old paradigm of sex workers being victims and see them as self-empowered, sex-positive womyntrepreneurs. Others see them as perpetuating the old role of womyn as nothing more than a commodity for penised persons to buy and sell, as they have done for millennia.
Either way, the name of said tasty treats are sure to enrage SOMEONE in the group, so no, they're not allowed.
Except on Christmas, when they may be called Ho-Ho-Ho's.
- If you actually sat down and made up what you think Michfest Activities would be like, you couldn't be as hilarious as a lot of these descriptions. Are we sure they're not just genius ironists?
- If any of my sisters uses a knife/penis-like implement to serve the nutloaf I will charge you with foodraype!!
- Lesbians LOVE karaoke, apparently according to the MichFest website.
Who will start the karaoke at Thanksgiving? I will be singing "Hey Big Spender" as a feminist, anti-consumerist, pro-sex worker song.
- It's not a lesbian karaoke night without any Pet Shop Boys. I will kick things off with "It's A Sin."
- [quote]I will be singing "Hey Big Spender" as a feminist, anti-consumerist, pro-sex worker song.
Ooooh NO you won't! Sex workers are oppressed playthings of the patriarchy!
- If it's going to be a vegetarian extravaganza, wouldn't Indian, Greek-Turkish, and dishes from other cuisines with EXCELLENT veg traditions be a better idea? Or is that too much of a fag idea?
- R225, systers are doin' it for themselves!
- Will there be enough light after the meal for stilt-walking?
- Here is my fear, based on my destiny dream for mother earthworks. I fear a penysed-empathetic karma is falling of MichFest and somehow we will fight amongst ourselves. Gurl-on-gurl. This is my fear. The waves of energy flowing through my yoni have changed. A storm is coming.
- This sounds cool. I'm a guy, but I'll wear a dress just to be part of this gathering. Just don't get upset if I get a hard-on in the middle of dinner -- surrounded by all you babes might get me all hot and bothered!
I'll even bring a smoked sausage for appetizers. Yum!
- I can't look at a Turkey baster again. I just can't.
- [quote]A gathering of lesbians, and no football? Are you mad?
The correct collective term for lesbians is "a labor" as in, "a labor of lesbians labored on the Land while nibbling nutloaf."
- I would like to perform kareoke "These Boots are Made for Walking" and invite all my systers (who are not mobility challenged, of course), to perform an interpretive dance during the performance: we can lure the guests of the Brother Sun garage inside and trample upon them! It will be so empowering!
Marquesa D. Sade
- "I will be singing "Hey Big Spender" as a feminist, anti-consumerist, pro-sex worker song."
My syster frynd Freya Fjordsdottir, while it's possible that I'm missing something in the keening of "Hey Big Spender", I myself find it empowering and ironic.
The dance hall "girls" are in control of their bodies, but to a degree. They are still in the thrall of the penised society, by which they can only tart themselves up and shake their bits at greasy, adenoidal cretins and capitalist pigs in order to survive.
But beneath the sequins and wigs lies a defiance that will eventually destroy the patriarchy which continues to pollute the planet.
This is a film after all, but one that has many subtle levels of systerhood, if one should look.
- For those who enjoyed "Ancestral Fiber Crafts for Womyn of Color" at Michfest this year, we will be having an Ancestral Fiber reunion at 3 pm at Sacred Circle (just outside the carport).
- I am bumping this NOW so that I do not have to bump it THEN.
- After the karaoke portion of our festivities, will I have time to perform my interpretive dance to the collected works of Laura Nyro before it's my turn on garbage detail?
- My wife, who posted some nonsense upthread about "systerhood" (whatever that is) will NOT be coming to your gathering after all. She will be in MY kitchen where she belongs, making MY Thanksgiving turkey dinner with all the trimmings.
If you gals are still having your little hen party after she cleans up the kitchen and washes the dishes, maybe she can put in an appearance.
- [quote]For those who enjoyed "Ancestral Fiber Crafts for Womyn of Color" at Michfest this year, we will be having an Ancestral Fiber reunion at 3 pm at Sacred Circle (just outside the carport).
Sistagyrl, just please don't forget to put up the sign that says "For Womyn of Color Born IN THIS LIFETIME."
- I'll bring the cheez balls!
- hellloooo my systers in space! denise here, in the special delivery wagon, ready to hit the dinner. Just an update. One bus (Gaia) got sidetracked at a HomeDepot in Iowa city (there was a sale on power tools) and I'm in Quito, Ecuador. Stopped by to pick up some more special systers. We're on our way!
- I am stating my boundaries NOW so I do not have to state them THEN.
- I wll bring my Croneberry relish. It's Mary Daly's recipe.
- You were tasked with bringing sweet-potato casserole and a homemade pumpkin pie with whipped cream, R242. We've been over this again and again. Come without the designated items and this is your last time at our house.
- Remember: No latecomers.
- [quote]Remember: No latecomers.
I'm not putting my son in your gulag, so I have to drop him off at the babysitter's. I *will* be about ten minutes late. Just try to keep me away, you cunts.
Only a couple more miles to go! I can smell the nutloaf and tofurkey already!
Should my scooter break down, I hope that in the spirit of systerhood, some kind hearted womyn of the diesel persuasion would assist. Blessed be!
- R245, are you sure you haven't mistaken us for a gathering of the Junior League or the Ladies' Wednesday Evening Bible Study?
Begone before we perform a clitoridectomy on you, heteronormative shrew!
- [quote]Begone before we perform a clitoridectomy on you, heteronormative shrew!
Clearly it's not just penised persons who are capable of haterape! I am deeply wounded by your words. FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION IS NOT A JOKING MATTER. I stand against you, Erzulie Dragonfly, and I rebuke you for terrible suggestion.
- R242, I'm truly struggling to break free from heteronormative ties that bind my feminine but very athletic limbs. Still, Mary Daly and Croneberry relish are beyond my blond comprehension. Please enlighten me again.
- Mary Daly was an American philosopher, academic, and theologian. Daly, who described herself as a "radical lesbian feminist," taught at Boston College, a Jesuit-run institution, for 33 years. She died in 2010.
Daly's most famous book was "Websters' First New Intergalactic Wickedary of the English Language." Her tumultuous career Boston College ended after three decades when she refused to open her classroom to men, believing women did not freely exchange ideas if men were present. Men, she said, "have nothing to offer but doodoo."
Croneberry relish was invented in her memory.
- [quote]"Daly demonstrates how women can use language to create a new definition of womanhood, giving once pejorative terms like “hag” and “crone” positive connotations.
- It's tomorrow bytches!!! Can't wait!!
Until then, Goddess bless you all.
- My pumpkin pie will be both gluten-free and casein-free! I've substituted xanthan gum and Ener-G Egg Replacer!
- Mary Daly looks like Nurse Diesel's pretty sister.
- Is anyone bringing booze? I don't think I can get through three hours of your New Age mumbo-jumbo. Give give me some turkey, a few butches, a few beers, and a few football games, and I'll be a happy gal.
But I really need that beer.
Yeah, I guess I'm stating my boundaries.
- It's today!!!
- [quote]It's today!!!
Thank you, Mame. We've been cooking all night. We KNOW.
- I'm grrrlcotting all parades today. Those balloons are a mockery to all those who suffer from glandular and/or weight problems. I scream with righteous anger!
- The righteous subaru convoy from Yakima will be a little late.
We had to stop for waffles. Some of our members blood sugar got a little low. Please have the agave at the ready when our systers arrive.
- @r238 Get a lot of former women of color?
- We (HEART!) Nan Michiganwomyn and all other real true 100% dieseltrucks & bulldozers!
Before the wimmin of MichFest started locking down their forums, we had a thread mocking posts over there that were way nuttier (nutloafier?) than anything DL could make up.
One post referenced a workshop for Native American womyn where they actually had to put up a sign specifying that "only Native American womyn born in this lifetime" were welcome.
- "White or dark meat?"
- "Breast, leg or thigh?"
- This turkey tastes funny...
WAIT! Euterpe, think--which turkey baster did you use on this turkey?!?
- First photos from the party coming in!
- Hey wimmin, w had a little trouble with the prevail van. Looks like our smoke, the good kind, heh...caused the state trooopers to ill me over. I had ome trouble splainin the nekkid sacred orgy in the back, n my big bag of weed. We're being booked at the police station in Phoenix, az. So, the boson/Seattle/0rlando groups gunna be late. But hell....I gota strip search n pat down to look forward to.
- Do those German wimmin in the pic at 266 realize that Pope Benedict is hiding in plain sight in the background on the right?
- I'm sorry, I am not enjoying myself. There is far too much negativity around the TV set with the football game. I do not need to see so many men.
I may just take my flourless, eggless, oil-free, color-free, additive-free, gluten-free, soybean cake pops and go home.
- I'm getting ready to do regressive reincarnation for womyn o color in the upstairs guest bedroom. Please bring your materials and be ready for a special session. We willbe done in time for the Pagaent of the Vagina Capes and Nutloaf Buffet....
- per r250: [quote]she refused to open her classroom to men,believing women did not freely exchange ideas if men were present.
Help me DL! I kinda agree with this.
- "Pope Benedict is hiding in plain sight in the background"
- Hello. I am in my rascal scooter. I have been stuck at the back steps for nearly two hours. Will somebody please come and rescue me? I have my special seaweed and kelp dip.
- [quote]Hello. I am in my rascal scooter. I have been stuck at the back steps for nearly two hours. Will somebody please come and rescue me? I have my special seaweed and kelp dip.
Why do you think we've left you out on the back steps?
We've finished eating now, so you might as well just ride back home. And take that awful dip with you.
- "Let's all go out for a nice long walk to burn off some calories!"
Awww c'mon...it'll be fun and it's good for you.
FINE! just sit there snoring and farting then...
- i'll be topless through the rest of the evening and encourage my systren to let their hair down and let their puppies hang out too!
- Dinner was great! I just wish I hadn't gone into active labor before the desserts were brought out (the nutloaf pudding looked especially intriguing), but bringing a baby gyrl into the world while surrounded by all my systers! No better way to end a gathering. Anyway, thanks for accommodating my life partner, both our mothers, the midwife and the midwife trainee at the feast at the last minute. I felt the need for my immediate support system since I was already a week past my due date. Oh, and sorry about the mess in the bathtub.
We still haven't decided on a name, any suggestions?
- It was LESS interesting than watching my daughter eat dirt.
I expected so much more than nutloaf.
And syster Clytemnestra retains her he balls.
Get an orchi dude, sheesh.
- The nutloaf was a little dry, the tahini too runny.
I must be honest so we can all better ourselves.
- R277, How about "burdensome loindropping"?
We all started calling her that while your "cuntourage" were all in there gnawing on placenta.
- Did anybody remember to let the penised persons out of the garage?
If not, that's fine, the hunger and cold will have given them time to dwell on the crimes their kind will commit.
- [quote]Did anybody remember to let the penised persons out of the garage?
More to the point, did anyone remember to turn off the car with the busted tail pipe? I might have left it running when we closed the garage door. The keys are still in my pocket...
- So, ladies--how did it go without a man to carve the tofurkey? Are you sorry now?
- I'm a transwomon, and I'm pre-op. I was at your table, and no one could tell! HA!
- r284 = Bruce Jenner
- Relatively few casualties in Garage Brother Sun this year.
- I would like to suggest we process together some of the tensions I detected at our dinner:
* The WOS (Womyn of Size) felt that some of the skinnier systers were judging them when they took their third helpings of pie.
* The NAD (Native American Dykes) wanted an apology and an acknowledgement of guilt from the white womyn.
* Bilitis Queerhawk's performance art piece, "Labia Love: The Yoni as Expressed in Dance, Song, and Poetry," was seen by some as being excessively long, with a number of the guests leaving sometime during the third hour.
* The argument between Mirella Astarte and LaShonda Thomas over D'Neice Summerrain was most troubling, ending in a fist fight in which poor Tiffanee Ubuntu received a black eye in the scuffle.
* Neither interstate carpools ever showed up. I don't know if they all got lost or, goddess help us, were victims of the patriarchy in some horrific incident of sexual violation.
* And, as usual, no one brought any gravy DESPITE MY REPEATED REQUESTS THAT WE NOT HAVE A REPEAT OF LAST YEAR'S DISASTER.
I believe we need to set some ground rules NOW so we don't have the same problems crop up again next year.
- R287, did you happen to have the talking stick when you posted your screed?
- I'll roast the turkey in my electric Dacor under-counter convection oven, and make all the sidedishes on my six burner gas French cook top. I'll make the tofurkey in my built-in Thermador micro-convection oven.
Prisspot Nellie, Trying to Fit In
- [quote]did you happen to have the talking stick when you posted your screed?
No, if you'll hand it to me, I'll be glad to repeat myself verbatim.
- [quote]I'll roast the turkey in my electric Dacor under-counter convection oven, and make all the sidedishes on my six burner gas French cook top. I'll make the tofurkey in my built-in Thermador micro-convection oven.
Prisspot Nellie, you realize Thanksgiving was two days ago, right? Or are you offering to host the dinner next year?
- Y'all bitches just needs to gets fucked in y'alls asses.
- ASSHOLE ON THE LAND at R292!
- Brother Sun Boys Camp operates from 8am to midnight with a program of outings; crafts, cookouts, music, sports and campfires for boys aged five through ten. Located in a mix of forest and meadow, Brother Sun offers a fun, welcoming and secluded area for boys while preserving womyn's space in all other Festival areas. Please respect that all boys five and over, and their families, camp in Brother Sun for the week.
- FB question: What's on your mind?
Michfest answer: Vagina
Oh beloved state of Michigan...we cannot BELIEVE that the Michigan legislature actually banned the word Vagina from the floor. WTF!???
For almost four decades we've built an annual city to exalt the female. Vagina in word, thought, form and deed is alive and well here. In case there's any doubt, take a walk through our 70-foot vagina....
- [quote]I'll roast the turkey in my electric Dacor under-counter convection oven, and make all the sidedishes on my six burner gas French cook top. I'll make the tofurkey in my built-in Thermador micro-convection oven. by: Prisspot Nellie, Trying to Fit In
PN, who actually has an Amana and Frigidaire in Harvest Gold while stealing electricity from the trailer next door.
You are not worthy to make nutloaf in your crock pot, toots.
- Activities in Brother Sun Boys Camp include: chemical castration.
That is all.
- R291 is obviously a left-brain dominant penised person who has no imagination to realize we can still play even though Thanksgiving was two days ago.
- It has been nearly two months now and I have finally processed the experience of the Holiday dinner, written a folk song about it and irrigated my colon.
Thank you my systers for the blessed time.
- In all seriousness, I made and tried nutloaf for Christmas dinner so that a vegetarian relative would have something to eat while the rest of us had crown roast. I tried a piece of the nutloaf and it was good. God help me, it was really good.
- Systers! Wimmin! In just a few short weeks, it will be time for our Annual MichFest dinner.
Last year's was such a success that I will be having it in my home this year. I only need help with food, chairs, disability ramps, the DART truck, entertainment, silverware, glasses, plates, garbage bags and fat wimmin and making the garage sound proof so the pre-rapists you may bring do not disturb our festival.
While some of you may remember that I burst into tears over the Punpun Pie and Vegan Ice Cream last year in memory of all of the enslaved housewives who toil, I am much better after meditating on it.
Please arrive promptly at 1 PM. No latecomers.
- Cranberries. Death.
- Would you consider, Syster, accepting my gifting of a new turkey baster? After your story over the free-dange tofurkey, haricot vert, and bread putting of you and Drusilla's attempt to get pregnant, please, accept it. The thought of where your old turkey baster has been...wounds.
There. I have stated my boundaries. As well as those of all of your guests. Do not make us state them again!
- You see, syster? The thought of that baster has cause me to misspell. I must consult a crone. And a dictionary.
- Do not sit within ten inches of where I am sitting. Do not do it. Because you will come back from the cranberry in your fat folds contest and find it moved.
I am telling you this now so I don't have to stab you with a fork THEN.
- I am bringing my own Rum Raisin Rice Dream this year but it is not for anybody but me. I am sorry but I cannot share. I am told I need to gives less and share less of myself and this translates down to my food.
I will, however, have thirds of bread pudding.
I have volunteered to organize and coordinate the schedule for recharging CPAP machines. Please note that there will be only FOUR outlets in the house and an additional two in the garage.
Obviously this is not enough, but after last year's disaster with the extension cords we have learned not to overtax the electrical system.
If you will need to recharge your CPAP, let me know by 5 p.m. Friday Michigan time. I will allot one hour for each womon and will be organizing a spreadsheet.
If additional rules and regulations are necessary, I will call a group conscience early next week.
- I will bring some of my delicious wombkin pies! They are sweetened with breastmilk and molasses.
- I did not attend last year. I have been dealing with a lot of family issues and have been been unable to find a job since 2001. The MichFest Thanksgiving dinner is my want, my NEED. I remember all the times I would hug and cry with my systers as one of them had a "trigger" moment during dinner and helping her when she needed somebody, or when I sat outside on the brown November lawn and was stared at by a little girl from an upstairs window in the house next door who opened the window and threw her paperweight at me, or when we all sang songs of female empowerment over the tofurkey.
So, can anybody pay my planefare, ny busfare, my accomodations and perhaps buy me a winter coat?
- Camp (Garage) Brother Sun has been moved from the unheated garage to the unheated garden shed adjacent to the compost pile at the far end of the backyard. As always, no food will be served and use of bathroom facilities is strictly prohibited.
- Has our host upgraded from a VHS player this year? Only so many times I can watch "Desert Hearts."
- [quote]I am bringing my own Rum Raisin Rice Dream this year but it is not for anybody but me.
As a recovering addict, bringing anything with alcohol such as Rum Raisin is overstepping my boundaries and I will not tolerate it. Even the mere scent of alcohol could send me on a quick downward shame spiral.
- If anyone INSISTS on bringing a turkey, it must be FEMALE! The turkey males are rapists!
- If you insist on bringing your vile male children, I ask of you to promptly put them into the woodshed upon arriving at my home. Male children are pre-rapists.
- I will be bringing a side dish this year. The placenta of my moonchild, Arthema. It has been in our freezer since she was born in June. I will season it with maple and a hint of cayenne pepper and roast it.
- But Lesbian, placenta is still a meat dish, even if it is non-lethal, and will contaminate anyone nearby with airborne meat scent molecules! We vegans would be tainted, we would lose our blessed meat-free purity.
If I had the energy, I'd give you such a whupping...
- The last sentence of R316 has me rolling.