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The DL Acting Critic Is Here, Bitches!

I'm here to dress down your admiration for the "greats" and tell you, clearly, why you are so wrong to admire their works. Give me your Bette Davis! I'll tell you she's one-note and playing to the balcony on a distant planet in a far-off universe! Give me your Vivien Leigh! I will tell you that she's. . .INDICATING! Meryl Streep? You can see the ticking of her acting clock! And don't--JUST DON'T-- give me Marie Fucking Dressler. That woman peaked through every performance she ever gave. Most importantly, don't argue with me. I tell you WHO to admire and who NOT to admire. I'm highly respected in my community theater, where I regularly play the role of the person who takes your tickets. End scene!

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