Let's pretend we're overheard comments at the next Romney family gathering

"Don't tell anyone I said so, but Tagg really let dad down. Mom thinks so too."

• Oh woe on us, hurricane, homosexual cabals, non submissive women and poor people. It was our turn and they cheated us.

• Oh my God, they are going to want us to pay taxes

• It won't be a sin if we have coffee with our brandy this one time.

• Thank our Lord Irasema was doing the downstairs windows on Wednesday, otherwise he might have taken that whip to Rafalca.

• Oh, Mitt, don't get your Temple Garments in a twist.

• Consuela: "Missy Ann, does this mean I can finally get this lump on my breast checked out?" Rafalca: "Why is there a truck from Elmer's backed up to my stall?" Ann: "But you PROMISED, Mitt!" Mitt: "Is it safe to get more wives now?"

• "Lets throw the scraps out to the curb for the 47-percenters...... NAHHH!!" [laughter]

  Kolab

• Ooh, we're so white and delightsome!

• "The Osmonds called. They're taping their Christmas in Utah special next week and they want to know if we're available."

• Don't tell anyone but I voted for Obama. I think my husband's a fag.

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