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The Datalounge Guide to Republican Rhetoric

I've noticed that some people are having trouble making sense of the Republican reaction to the election. Let's offer some guidance. Freedom = tax cuts for rich; viewing the planet as a profit opportunity; having the unrestrained right to own guns Liberty = tax cuts for rich; enforced conformity to 1950s social norms Oppression = no tax cuts for rich; government's failure to impose their religious beliefs on everyone Rights = tax cuts for rich; federal benefits for white people Socialism = no tax cuts for rich; other people's federal benefits Tyranny = no tax cuts for rich with a black President Big spending = money spent on things they don't profit from Legitimate government = money spent on things they profit from Deficit = really big number used to scare voters Tax Cuts = good; magic engine of prosperity; reduction in federal revenue irrelevant to debt Public Debt = evil; a black hole destined to destroy everything good in the world that mysteriously loses its power and significance when Republicans are in control of the budget; result of Democrat big spending. Private Debt = good; a mechanism by which the rich get richer and the poor get poorer National defense = see "legitimate government." National security = secret things that would otherwise be illegal Homeland security = secret legitimate government Jobs = something voters want that becomes significant around elections Growth = increasing corporate profits and capital gains Efficiency = turning public functions into profit opportunities Voter fraud = Democrat victory Fair election = working class has to lose a day's pay to vote; long lines only in cities Judicial activism = court decisions they don't like Judicial restraint = court decisions they like Constitution = piece of paper sometimes useful for judicial restraint; source of 2nd Amendment and a bunch of words State's rights = excuse for returning programs and regulations to states Return to states = eliminate Illegal Alien = brown people who have recently come to America Immigrant = white people whose grandparents came to America American = white people who don't know how they got here Life = a short period of exalted human value beginning at conception, ending at birth, and returning when someone wants to die. Pursuit of Happiness = fighting for tax cuts; accumulating stuff; firing guns; feeling superior to someone Jesus = someone really powerful who loves them no matter what they do and who will someday punish people they don't like

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