I've noticed that some people are having trouble making sense of the Republican reaction to the election. Let's offer some guidance.
Freedom = tax cuts for rich; viewing the planet as a profit opportunity; having the unrestrained right to own guns
Liberty = tax cuts for rich; enforced conformity to 1950s social norms
Oppression = no tax cuts for rich; government's failure to impose their religious beliefs on everyone
Rights = tax cuts for rich; federal benefits for white people
Socialism = no tax cuts for rich; other people's federal benefits
Tyranny = no tax cuts for rich with a black President
Big spending = money spent on things they don't profit from
Legitimate government = money spent on things they profit from
Deficit = really big number used to scare voters
Tax Cuts = good; magic engine of prosperity; reduction in federal revenue irrelevant to debt
Public Debt = evil; a black hole destined to destroy everything good in the world that mysteriously loses its power and significance when Republicans are in control of the budget; result of Democrat big spending.
Private Debt = good; a mechanism by which the rich get richer and the poor get poorer
National defense = see "legitimate government."
National security = secret things that would otherwise be illegal
Homeland security = secret legitimate government
Jobs = something voters want that becomes significant around elections
Growth = increasing corporate profits and capital gains
Efficiency = turning public functions into profit opportunities
Voter fraud = Democrat victory
Fair election = working class has to lose a day's pay to vote; long lines only in cities
Judicial activism = court decisions they don't like
Judicial restraint = court decisions they like
Constitution = piece of paper sometimes useful for judicial restraint; source of 2nd Amendment and a bunch of words
State's rights = excuse for returning programs and regulations to states
Return to states = eliminate
Illegal Alien = brown people who have recently come to America
Immigrant = white people whose grandparents came to America
American = white people who don't know how they got here
Life = a short period of exalted human value beginning at conception, ending at birth, and returning when someone wants to die.
Pursuit of Happiness = fighting for tax cuts; accumulating stuff; firing guns; feeling superior to someone
Jesus = someone really powerful who loves them no matter what they do and who will someday punish people they don't like
0P, you just wrote all that for a forum full of Democrats. Think about it.
China - A nation that will soon own all of America.
China - A nation where one doesn't have to spend so much money campaigning for the right to run a country for its own betterment.
China - Where profit still matters.
OP, this is beyond brilliant.
R1, I found it highly amusing.
Science = an evil, communistic concept created by people who hate God.
Restricting free speech = Not liking when someone says "Hey, that's racist/ homophobic/ etc."
Math=evil perverted practice of faggots like Nate SIlverberg, or whatever his faggoty name is
Freedom of Speech = being able to say whatever you please and never be held accountable and never be criticized for such statements.
Separation of Church and State = THERE'S NO SUCH THING!!!!!!!
The Statue of Liberty = a fine example of American art and engineering
Brilliant and 100% factally accurate. You should publish,
OP, I'm going to copy this and post it. Would it be too Republican of me to also take credit? I'm not very smart and want to impress people. I shan't do it until you give me permission.
Thanks. Here are some more:
Racism = historical social problem ended in 1968
Reverse Racism = belief that racism still exists
Justice = to be defined
Job Creators = future aristocrats
Small Business = Koch Industries
Nation Building = Democrat foreign wars
Defense of Freedom = Republican foreign wars
Government Waste = see Big Spending
Morality = Laws of Jesus as applied to other people
Abstinence = the practice of every sexual act except one in order to remain a virgin (women); a cover story for closet cases (men)
Laws of Jesus = ask Glenn Beck
Class Warfare = any discussion of wealth that may be heard by the middle class
Lip Service = all Jesus needs from us; see also Abstinence
Communism = having to buy health insurance from for-profit businesses
Cutting Government Waste = increasing the defense budget
Hurricanes - a weather condition caused by gays and Planned Parenthood
R1, did you really miss the fact that this is satire and not an effort to persuade us? Because, it was pretty obvious.
Thanks R19--I did think about R1's comment and could not make any sense of it so I just ignored it.
Class warfare = a discussion of wealth that might be heard by members of the middle class; mentioning growing wealth gap
Repetition is the Republicans number one tactic for control. When people hear the same things over and over again, they eventually start believing it is true.
Some choice words from one of Karl Rove's idols, Joseph Goebbels:
“If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State.”
LANDSLIDE = Mitt Romney winning 325 electoral college votes
SQUEAKER = Barabk Obama winning 332 electoral college votes