The Datalounge Guide to Republican Rhetoric

I've noticed that some people are having trouble making sense of the Republican reaction to the election. Let's offer some guidance. Freedom = tax cuts for rich; viewing the planet as a profit opportunity; having the unrestrained right to own guns Liberty = tax cuts for rich; enforced conformity to 1950s social norms Oppression = no tax cuts for rich; government's failure to impose their religious beliefs on everyone Rights = tax cuts for rich; federal benefits for white people Socialism = no tax cuts for rich; other people's federal benefits Tyranny = no tax cuts for rich with a black President Big spending = money spent on things they don't profit from Legitimate government = money spent on things they profit from Deficit = really big number used to scare voters Tax Cuts = good; magic engine of prosperity; reduction in federal revenue irrelevant to debt Public Debt = evil; a black hole destined to destroy everything good in the world that mysteriously loses its power and significance when Republicans are in control of the budget; result of Democrat big spending. Private Debt = good; a mechanism by which the rich get richer and the poor get poorer National defense = see "legitimate government." National security = secret things that would otherwise be illegal Homeland security = secret legitimate government Jobs = something voters want that becomes significant around elections Growth = increasing corporate profits and capital gains Efficiency = turning public functions into profit opportunities Voter fraud = Democrat victory Fair election = working class has to lose a day's pay to vote; long lines only in cities Judicial activism = court decisions they don't like Judicial restraint = court decisions they like Constitution = piece of paper sometimes useful for judicial restraint; source of 2nd Amendment and a bunch of words State's rights = excuse for returning programs and regulations to states Return to states = eliminate Illegal Alien = brown people who have recently come to America Immigrant = white people whose grandparents came to America American = white people who don't know how they got here Life = a short period of exalted human value beginning at conception, ending at birth, and returning when someone wants to die. Pursuit of Happiness = fighting for tax cuts; accumulating stuff; firing guns; feeling superior to someone Jesus = someone really powerful who loves them no matter what they do and who will someday punish people they don't like

• 0P, you just wrote all that for a forum full of Democrats. Think about it.

• China - A nation that will soon own all of America. China - A nation where one doesn't have to spend so much money campaigning for the right to run a country for its own betterment. China - Where profit still matters.

• OP, this is beyond brilliant.

• R1, I found it highly amusing.

  and accurate

• Science = an evil, communistic concept created by people who hate God.

• Restricting free speech = Not liking when someone says "Hey, that's racist/ homophobic/ etc."

• Math=evil perverted practice of faggots like Nate SIlverberg, or whatever his faggoty name is

  tea-bagger%20tilly

• Freedom of Speech = being able to say whatever you please and never be held accountable and never be criticized for such statements. Separation of Church and State = THERE'S NO SUCH THING!!!!!!!

• The Statue of Liberty = a fine example of American art and engineering

• Brilliant and 100% factally accurate. You should publish,

• OP, I'm going to copy this and post it. Would it be too Republican of me to also take credit? I'm not very smart and want to impress people. I shan't do it until you give me permission.

• Thanks. Here are some more: Racism = historical social problem ended in 1968 Reverse Racism = belief that racism still exists Justice = to be defined Job Creators = future aristocrats Small Business = Koch Industries Nation Building = Democrat foreign wars Defense of Freedom = Republican foreign wars Government Waste = see Big Spending

  OP

• Pregnancy resulting from legitimate rape = God's will. Homosexuality = sinful lifestyle choice.

• Morality = Laws of Jesus as applied to other people Abstinence = the practice of every sexual act except one in order to remain a virgin (women); a cover story for closet cases (men) Laws of Jesus = ask Glenn Beck

  OP

• Class Warfare = any discussion of wealth that may be heard by the middle class Lip Service = all Jesus needs from us; see also Abstinence

  OP

• Communism = having to buy health insurance from for-profit businesses

  OP

• Cutting Government Waste = increasing the defense budget

• Hurricanes - a weather condition caused by gays and Planned Parenthood

• R1, did you really miss the fact that this is satire and not an effort to persuade us? Because, it was pretty obvious.

• Thanks R19--I did think about R1's comment and could not make any sense of it so I just ignored it. New one: Class warfare = a discussion of wealth that might be heard by members of the middle class; mentioning growing wealth gap

• Repetition is the Republicans number one tactic for control. When people hear the same things over and over again, they eventually start believing it is true.

• Some choice words from one of Karl Rove's idols, Joseph Goebbels: “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State.”

• LANDSLIDE = Mitt Romney winning 325 electoral college votes SQUEAKER = Barabk Obama winning 332 electoral college votes