Dear Theatergoers

My enemy is making her professional stage debut in a few weeks. Now if I bought a ticket for the first row and had "loser," "bitch," "firecrotch" printed on it....could I be kicked out of the theatre? Would they wait until intermission?

• [quote]"loser," "bitch," "firecrotch" printed on it. I meant on a t-shirt....not the ticket!!!!

• [quote] could I be kicked out of the theatre? Would they wait until intermission? You probably wouldn't be allowed in - for security reasons. Why don't you spend the money on therapy instead.

• Well I'd wear a coat dummy. How is therapy going to harm my enemy r2? You just don't get it do you!!!!!

• Could I just hold up signs and boo loudly?

• Eat beans and fart loudly

  Anne%20Archer

• Donna Murphy is on Datalounge, now? Wear a coat, girl. That is all I can tell you.

• Just throw some stool at her.

• When she walks on stage give a little snicker with a look on your face that indicates she forgot to zip something. Give her puzzled looks whenever she has a line. Keep looking at her feet with a very concerned look on your face, as if she has a piece of toilet paper stuck to the heel.

• now r8 is being helpful. Thank you dearest r8!!!

  op

• Get back to us when you come up with a planm OP.

• Shades of [...]

• Oops! That should be: Get back to us when you come up with a plan, OP.

• Wear a sweater until you're seated, duh.

• Shout loudly.

  Patsy%20Stone%2C%2039%20years

• For the life of me I cannot remember the husband - Al Jolson? Eddie Cantor? - but when Ruby Keeler was married to an equally famous celebrity, the husband sat in the front row and heckled her! I thought that was hilarious - how fragile his ego had to have been to heckle his wife!

• Don't try anything funny, OP!

  http://www.emilytaplinboyd.com/%23%21home/mainPage

  Triple%20Threat%3A%20Emily%20Taplin%20Boyd

• Climb on stage to gift her with a rolled up poster in the middle of scene. She'll love it.

  Farrah%20Fawcett

• Did you get your front row ticket, OP?

• A few years back, I was in a production of "The Music Man." We were dark on Mondays and a bunch of cast and crew decided to go to a Monday night performance of "Summer and Smoke" at the Kennedy Center, starring Eva Maria Saint and Ronnie Cox. We managed to get seats together down in front. During a serious moment in the play, there's a line about a traveling salesman. It wasn't meant to be funny, but to a group of about 20 people who were in a show about traveling salesmen, it was hysterical. So, the group all burst out laughing. You could see Saint stiffen and look wide-eyed at Cox. He had a somewhat startled look on his face. Though they continued with their lines, their expressions were saying to each other, "What the hell just happened?"

• R19, if you saw Eva Marie Saint and Ronny Cox in SUMMER AND SMOKE, I sincerely hope it was more than "a few years back." (I'm assuming they were playing the leads.)