Stop Gay Racism & Internalised Homophobia On Grindr Website!
NO ASIANS. NO BLACKS. STR8 ACTING CHILL DUDES ONLY. NO FAIRIES. NO FEMMES. NO QUEENS. MASC4MASC. DON’T BE OLD. CLEAN ONLY. NO HOOKUPS. BE NORMAL. SANE & SORTED. REAL MEN ONLY … just harmless sexual preferences, right? WRONG.
This sort of language insults gay racial minorities, men of different ages, men who express their sexuality in ways different to heteromasculine ideals of normativity, men who are proud of being gay and what the gay community has achieved in less than 50 years, men who are living with HIV, men who enjoy sex with other men, men who don’t conform to heteronormative demands for monogamy, and men who don’t like being told by an oppressive over-class how they can and cannot live their lives.
This blog isn’t here to tell you that your sexual preferences are wrong – it is here to criticise you for using language that reinforces mainstream views of how people should live and simultaneously denigrates the culture that non-heterosexual men have carved out since the liberation movement began in 1969. It is here to criticise modern gay men who have reaped all of the benefits the gay rights movement and its culture has fought for and provided, and is now spitting in its face out of an insecure fear of being perceived as “too gay”.
It is here to criticise you for using language that puts down members of your own community, whilst you raise yourself up like you’re somehow from superior stock because you think you’re “hotter” or “more masc” or “more normal” than they are. If you can’t express your sexual preferences without insulting other non-heterosexuals, then there is something wrong with you that needs changing, right away! All of us have suffered in some way from the violence, humiliation, ridicule, and shame heterosexist society has perpetuated against non-heterosexual people.
It’s time, today, for you to stop adding to it with racist and/or homophobic language. Stop projecting heteronormative conventions onto your own community, and start showing everyone just how proud you are to be yourself.
Stop using Grindr.
People that use Grindr are trash.
This person is embarrassing.
You're looking for disease using that app, and here you are with your biggest issue: racism, and homophobia.
It's like a crack whore demanding that their dealers dress for success before dealing.
Grindr is not the bastion of class, and it's not meant to be, with what it's intended for.
Grindr is a hookup site, OP. I'm not about to fuck a 300 lb geezer. There is no point in being politically correct about it. It is a waste of time for them to hit me up.
OP is the Rosa Parks of Grindr
Is it gay racism if an Asian's ad says "Asians or whites only" or a Black guy's profile says "No Asians or whites"? Or is it gay racist only if a white guy says "No Asians" or "No Blacks"? Just wanted to get that cleared up.
What R3 said. It's a hook up site. I'd rather some guy say upfront what he does/doesn't want than waste my time, or me his. The only people who would find it racist or homophobic are those who either fit the description, or who lack self-awareness. Harsh, but true. I'm not saying it's right - I'm saying what it is, and we all know it.
Is it possible to sexually reject 99.9% of the poplation in a poltically correct way?
What R1-R7 all said.
Grindr is not the place for political correctness at all. People need to be direct with what they're looking for so they don't waste anyone's time.
I'm overweight & hairy, so guess what, I go on Growlr & Scruff instead of Grindr. I know what I am, and that I'm not for everyone, so I go to outlets that are more fitting. Problem solved. I don't get hung up on the people who aren't looking for my type.
That blogger seems a tad high-strung. I love the post before it where he makes the all too common mistake of thinking, "X is the new black" is a statement about racial politics, not trends and fashion.
stating a sexual preference is not racism, it is merely fact.
Looks like the cunt apologist has metastasized.
That blog reads like it's written by a girly fat guy.
He's a bossy bottom.
I like guys of most descriptions and can find something sexy about most guys. When I see someone with too many qualifications I move on even if I think can meet what they are looking for. I just like men, I am not looking for an illusion.
I find 'NO ..., NO ..., NO ...' kind of hookup accounts very negative since the focus is on the negative side. '... Only' has also a rather regative or limited ring to it. To me 'I like/prefer ...' type of wording shows the right kind of attitude since you look for a nice time and not someone who is jaded and used to say 'god, NO!' all the time.
Blogger is unhinged, the language he objects to saves time.
All ads for jobs have some required criteria including those for blow jobs.
That site's pretty interesting. It's only natural to have preferences, but the way some of us get boxed in is actually pretty pathetic. I used to be into guys around my age...masculine guys...white and Hispanic guys...etc...
But then I started finding out that there are all kinds of amazing people out there. I don't feel like I've lowered my standards in terms of what I'm into, but I definitely can't believe there was a time when I was so rigid in my demands. So glad I grew up and got a life.
[quote]I find 'NO ..., NO ..., NO ...' kind of hookup accounts very negative
I skip ads where the poster defines himself by what he doesn't like. Those people are drama queens.
Yeah....certainly there are racists who are gay and lesbian and that does contribute to a larger problem than just dating. On a larger scale, racism is what it is no matter the sexual orientation. I happen to not believe that racism is the ONLY underlying cause of people only dating within (or specifically outside) their own race. I do believe it has more to do more with the nurturing of cultural stereotypes, perceptions of beauty, and delusions of superiority. Such things as geography and class structure limit interaction with different cultures, and subsequently shape our perceptions. Where I think some folks may be confused is implying that attraction is somehow a natural phenomenon that you could not control. Our natural instinct as human beings is to satisfy sexual urge/procreate; attractions are secondary and are meaningless without the means to form them. To be clear, sexuality is not simply about attraction, it [homosexuality] is just a part of who we are. So, saying you're not attracted to women/certain hair colors/fill-in-the-blank, while all being a witty retorts, are moot points. When you have per-determined that you're not going to date an entire race of individuals there are underlying social factors at work. For someone to make this kind of determination means that, for the most part, you've already formed generalizations about an entire group of people...you know, since you're "generally speaking". If it's any "consolation": race preferencing (as I like to call it), and the oft fetishism that comes along with it, is neither unique to gay men nor any particular race.
Where is the line drawn between "fem" and a "fairy"?
Then there's the HIV risk aspect.
African American males have 7.6 times the AIDS rate as White males.
Sorry, but sexual attraction is not PC or democratic.
I fear for the day when cilantro lovers form an interest group and force other people to taste Cilantro, or else *shaking fist*.
Wow, R22. Just...wow.
[quote]Sorry, but sexual attraction is not PC or democratic.
Is that why your morbid obesity renders your sex life non existent?
That's what worries me R24. I love my gay son but he's allergic to peanuts. What if his hookup just ate a peanut butter sandwich!
You can state your specific preferences in a positive way. for instance, I say seeking "STD-free mainstream masculine athletic fit bi dude who works out frequently and plays team sports." I think it gets the message across without being negative.
r26's Dad helped start the Sexual Revolution so he could date blonde cheerleaders.
If someone only wants to fuck versatile, biracial, dwarf amputees, one should be allowed to advert for only versatile, biracial, dwarf amputees.
It only narrows the number of people disappointed.
If there were a road where you were 7.6 times as likely to get into an accident, and you didn't need to go down that road, would you use it?
The apps are for trash. Hence the bigotry. You can't expect social consciousness from garbage.
Wow because you're implying that all black gay people have HIV/AIDS and avoiding them is perfectly fine. Using your same source, in 2009, 39% of all new HIV infections were found in white men who have sex with men, and 37% of all new infections were in black men who have sex with men. And using YOUR logic, straight people have every right to discriminate gays because we all have HIV/AIDS.
[quote]The apps are for trash. Hence the bigotry. You can't expect social consciousness from garbage.
r32, you forget that a decade ago we were a filth and garbage. So interesting that you need to denigrate another gay or lesbian to make your ill conceived point.
We all deserve to find those people that make us happy, sexually or otherwise.
Grinder is only the messenger.
Thank you,r33. R22's only reason for posting that is to stir shit up.
And as a person of color,I can't tell you how many married,closeted white men who are willing to have unprotected sex,endangering not only themselves,but their wives as well...
Does r22 really think all those white men on Grindr who are only looking to hook up are d/d free? Please.
Just for the record, I don't use Grindr or any other app to hook up. I am also partnered so have been off the market for several years.
However when I was single....
[quote]Wow because you're implying that all black gay people have HIV/AIDS and avoiding them is perfectly fine.
Who is implying that all black people have HIV/AIDS? Statistically, they are more likely to have HIV/AIDS. That in no way implies they all have it. Avoiding HAVING SEX with them is my choice and is perfectly fine to reduce MY risk of infection. Avoiding them as people is not.
[quote]Using your same source, in 2009, 39% of all new HIV infections were found in white men who have sex with men, and 37% of all new infections were in black men who have sex with men.
Thus, comprising 13% of the population, they are getting infected at almost three times more than their percentage of the population.
[quote]And using YOUR logic, straight people have every right to discriminate gays because we all have HIV/AIDS.
Bullshit. I'm saying I have a choice as to whom I have sex with.
I also do a lot of volunteer work for HIV/AIDS in our community, donating both time and money. You can call it discrimination if you choose. I chose to discriminate when I was looking for sex.
Well aren't you a benevolent bigot, R36.
You're an idiot AND a racist.
You protect yourself ZERO % from HIV by what you are doing.
What a fucking moron thinking he'll magically be protected because it's not that filthy black diseased meat he's riding but instead the pure white and curative caucasian meat.
I like the fat guys who say they have a football player build or give you all of the measurements except weight or tell you they work out every day but are 50 lbs overweight.
OP, pointing out discrimination by discriminating. I know it's hard for you to comprehend, but racism isn't a gay thing.
[quote]Well aren't you a benevolent bigot, [R36].
Yes, in this part of my life, I am a bigot. Now, if you try and expand that my entire life and who I am, they you'd be an idiot like r38 who calls me a racist because I add race to age, looks, weight and all manner of things I consider when having random sex with someone.
Who said anything about being magically protected. Certainly there are a lot of white men who also have HIV/AIDS. Black men are higher risk is all I'm saying. That is the fact. You can choose to ignore that you choose. That's your life.
Now, dating would be a whole different story. But this thread was about using Grindr.
"African American males have 7.6 times the AIDS rate as White males."
so, uh, use condoms and you won't have a problem.
condoms even prevent hiv transmission from poz guys! and most of the time poz guys that know their status have very low viral load (much lower than guys that don't know they have it yet and think they're still neg). aids doesn't just hope onto you from touching someone. you get it from sharing needles, unprotected anal, and blood transfer.
R36 speaks the truth
stop using Grindr, cunt.
Oh and the flaming girly queens who insist that naturally masculine gay men are merely faking it are not homophobes? Oh so if a man is attracted to other men, it must mean he is really girly right?
It's who people choose to hook up with for quick, anonymous sex.
They're not saying they'd never be friends with a black person, never hire a black person for a job, never vote for a black person for president, etc etc.
NO advantage would suddenly accrue to black people as a whole if you're magically able to somehow convince uninterested GRINDR users to hook up with blacks.
Let. it. be.
r47 nails it
R47, it's not about having preferences. It's about gay people feeling the need to trash others in their quest for cocks. If you're white and interested in white guys near your age, or black and interested in black guys near your age, all you have to do is list your stats and add, "seeks similar." There's no need to call out "oldies," "fats," "fems," "blacks," or "Asians" as if they're all scum of the earth.
R49 except both the obese and the senior see themselves as 'similar'. You really do need to say no fatties, no seniors to get the message across.
R49, you think it's a gay thing? Really?
Don't worry,r49-these same queens are somehow magically 'cured'of their dating bigotry by the time they reach age 50-by then are burned out,played out,whored out and the under 20 white twinks they covet(and once were themselves) are no longer interested in them.
exactly r50. This is from PC FLaMERS
but isn't it better to know ahead of time instead of having the door slammed in your face upon arrival?
People have sexual preferences, and that's their business. Is it bigoted to say that you prefer redheads over blondes, and that that's what you're looking for? Give it a rest. Grindr isn't made to make friends. It's made for fucking. You shouldn't fuck a black guy if they don't turn you on. Enough with the "we are the world" bullshit.
This is more of a problem with Asians than blacks.
W & W for r4!!!
Quick question, if a black guy doesn't want to hook up with a white guy, is he racist, and would you be just as angry with him as a white guy who didn't wish to sleep with a black dude?
Gay guys are so sexist for discriminating against women as sex partners.
Seems to me that dictating who someone does or does not find attractive comes from he same defective part of the brain that gives us homophobia.
Why broadcast your prejudices to the world? If someone who you are not attracted to hits you up, just ignore them or politely decline. There is no reason to go out of your way to make people feel bad and show your ignorance at the same time.
R62 because if you don't broadcast those preferences the elderly fat trolls will be on you all day long.
We all like what we like. Most of us have probably been in a situation where we're being chatted up by someone who, for one reason or other, holds no allure whatsoever. Our natural inclination, if we're sane, is to get out of the situation.
Online, we get a chance to filter these situations. If there's someone who s never in the world get into your pants, why would anyone but a sadist want to waste their time? If you don't find yourself attracted to a particular group of people, should you be forcing them into a game where, ultimately, they're not going to get anywhere?
I think an obvious offshoot of OPs premise would be that someone who is exclusively a top or bottom should advertise themselves as versatile.
Is there anything more limiting than a racist slut? Sluts usually don't have the luxury to be picky when the neither region itches and they need some other guy to scratch that itch.
oopsie daisy: the NETHER region of course.
ok. If you say so op. I'm sure everyone will listen to you.
This reminds me of an Asian guy at a gay friend's birthday party lamenting that white gays were racist because they were not interested in dating men like him. When someone asked him why he didn't seek out other Asians or Black or Middle Eastern men to date, he replied that he was attracted to white men only. Of course he never explained why it was ok for him to have a racial preference when dating but not for white men.
One's sexual preference is another one's 'why do you not want to hook up with me, you damn racist/douchebag???'
A friend sent this to me on Saturday: "A friend sent this to me "Kurt the owner of StoneWall referred to the President of The United States as a Nigg@# I am horrified! Regardless of your political beliefs that is 100% unacceptable and Poppi at Duplex defended him. Really? WTF spend your money supporting equality not self serving assholes. Just my opinion."
The majority of white gay men are inherently racist, misogynistic, transphobic, fattist, snobbish.....well, just bigotted really. They detest absolutely everyone other than white straight men of course. Nasty creatures for whom suicide is to good an end. Lets be honest, most of you deserve the bashing.
Go fuck yourself, r72.
I'm sure you're one of those who imagine that if it weren't for evil white gay men, black and white America would be joining hands and singing Kum-ba-ya.
There is a senator from Kentucky who argued that the Civil Rights Act was a mistake... and won. And yet the 1-3% of the country's population that is white gay men is your major concern? Your priorities are astounding.
I actually think white gay men are LESS racist than the country at large, but let's presume for the sake of argument your supposition is true. What the fuck do you care? You obviously hate white gays anyway and want nothing to do with such racist trash so why rail on about it?!!
Tell me: what stake do you have, assuming you're not a freeper troll stirring up shit, which is assuming a lot. God, you're a hateful piece of trash.
r72 is an angry black man!
I'm guessing r72 is actually a lilly-white right-wing troll.
It's long ago been revealed that one of the right's strategies has been to try to further drive a wedge between the black and gay communities, and they've even devoted money and resources to it.
I suspect a white troll, possibly even on someone's payroll til proven otherwise.
The dick wants what it wants. I don't see a problem with this.
R73: Said Senator was probably GAY, definately MALE and without a doubt WHITE. So once again, most WHITE GAY MEN are hateful bigots.
Some White Straight men, some Black Gay Men and some white/black, gay/straight women may be bigotted but in nowhere near the numbers of white gay men. Nor with the same degree of viciousness.
Its probably because their insides are so ugly that they keep comitting suicide in numbers so much higher than any other demography. They cant even stand themselves.
I love how the "You're attracted to who you are attracted to" people don't realize that not being attracted to someone because of their skin color is prejudice at the very least.
As a black person, I personally don't give a shit if you're only attracted to your own race. Couldn't care less. However, when being called on it, don't get all defensive and claim that it's your "preference." That's bullshit. I prefer Latin men but wouldn’t reject someone who's not Latin.
I'm with you all politically. Sorry, but I don't do Asian.
R75: I love how the "troll-hunters" come out when the racist, misogynist, transphobes of DL are called out. Where the fuck are you when white gay guys are laughing about raped lesbians, throwing around the N word, refusing to refer to trans people as their preferred gender? I drown in your hypocritical bs.
Its not your fault you are that way though. Something about the combi of being white, gay and male makes you a bigot. Then again thats AIDS exists - to clean up Natures Errors.
r80 is a hateful man
Absolutely not. R80 is a hateful lesbian.
BS!!! no dyke would say shit like that
Dont break your brains trying to figure out what race/gender/orientation I am. Just call me Batman and accept some truth.
If you are white and gay then you are inately evil and but never you mind, now that you are aware of it (and how you are perceived) you can start to work on it...
[r71] yes Kurt Kelly [r83] do you know the dykes at The Duplex?
[quote]racist, misogynist, transphobes of DL are called out
The poster is not calling out racist, misogynist POSTERS, he is saying that all white gay men are racists which is quite different and totally shit-stirring.
This piece of white trash is obviously a white right-wing troll.
I wonder if how much he's getting paid. I personally can't imagine a lower way to make a buck.
^^^ Same right wing troll, different IP address.
Hey, white trash troll, does NOM pay you by the post? The hour? How much? I've often wondered.
It's an angry nigger not a white dude!
^^^Nope, right wing piece of lilly-white trash, we know it's you.
What motivates you? Hatred of gays? Are you angry because you know the Mormon billionaire is gonna lose the election? Does it go deeper than that? Are you a deeply closeted gay? Are you pissed because you secretly know God is imaginary? Or is it really all about the money for you?
Just tell us how much NOM pays you. Promise we won't tell anyone. We're DYING to know!!!
Aaaaand this thread gets deleted for race flame war psts in three, two, ...
I bet we all know what kind of man rejected R92 recently...
Agree with R93, fuck off, R92.
Web master should delete the tread but will certainly investigate IP addresses of the racist shit-stirrer because he's obviously on the right-wing payroll.
NOM or whoever is paying this asshat won't like it when they find out he was sniffed out so quickly.
Are you angry because you know the Mormon billionaire is gonna lose the election?
put down the crack pipe boy!
[quote]put down the crack pipe boy!
Just as soon as you tell us how much NOM is paying you.
The blogger is an insecure East Asian man. It's common for East Asians to be very aggressive on the internet and post pictures and addresses of people they don't like so they can be targeted for abuse. It's sick. Until East Asians feel secure about themselves and their natural appearance we will continue to hear the "your racist" comments because they are looking for approval by white people or want to supersede white people in beauty and when they can't do that their insecurity boils over.
[r93] Do you work at The Stonewall Inn?
Most of the comments on this thread are pretty damn frightening. There's seems to be little comprehension of sexual preference vs sexual requirement, about what racism actually is, and about it's effects on gay racial minorities. No doubt my comment will get flamed/trolled/whatever but it would be good instead for everyone here to chill out, open their minds, and maybe have a look at what the blogger is trying to achieve, rather than roasting him for outing some of the most disgusting aspects of modern gay life. I went through the blog and looked for myself and found it really interesting. I also note someone above said he was an angry South East Asian, but after reading a lot of his posts you can see he is white and lives in Australia. Anyhoo, I guess its time for some more anger hate and screaming from you guys, right?
The author is a flaming jew hating, masculine hating queen!! [childish epithet posted by a bigoted tool]s HATE masculinity just like bull dykes hate femininty!!!!
I doubt the author is any of those things. He's probably just too intelligent for you.
I think it's so sad that gays have become such vile creatures online. But at least their quest to be 'normal' has been successful - they are now as ignorant and hateful as the straights.
I'm attracted to all races of men. A man can be handsome no matter what his ethnic makeup is. I don't get people who use their "preference" as a guise for hate or self-hate.
W&W for R10!
Oops I meant R110, obvs.
I'm a gay minority who came of age in the AOL era. When I was just questioning and discovering my sexual orientation, I can tell you that a little piece of me died every time I read someone's profile who had a list of No this, No that. It made me really defensive and develop insecurities. It just made me feel "less than". I wasn't even looking to hook up. I just wanted to chat. But I always was aware that I was not equal and will never be let into this exclusive club. Today I'm a confident person proud of my race but seeing those types of profiles again brings back these feelings of insecurities.
love masculine gay men.
1. [childish epithet posted by a bigoted tool] behaviour is a major cause of homophobia
2. [childish epithet posted by a bigoted tool] behaviour by some gay men is the major reason so many boys and young men have problems coming to terms with their homosexuality
3. there is nothing homophobic about disliking effeminacy – on the contrary, since gay men are [nearly always] attracted to masculinity, [childish epithet posted by a bigoted tool] behaviour is self-defeating
You can't EVER change what people's personal likes and dislikes are. It's life. If you can't handle people being FRANK about who they want to FUCK, then get off of Grinder, dumbass. It's a nasty place anyway.
r116 is the most correct post in the thread. Which probably why it's the most heavily censored.