Undecided Voter Here

So I heard people at work yesterday saying the presidential election is coming up soon, sometime before Thanksgiving. I guess this means I'd better decide who I want to vote for. Or for whom I want to vote -- whatever! There's the black guy whose been on tv a lot the past 4 years and a handsome white guy with an all-American looking family. I hear the black guy wasn't even born here, but is from the Congo or someplace. The white guy is an entrepreneur who pulled himself up by his own bootstraps and is now very rich. I'd like to be rich. Maybe I will be someday. I'm pretty sure the white guy is more patriotic and wants to reduce my taxes. I think that's what I've heard, at least. I'm not really sure. The black guy wants to raise my taxes and make gasoline go to $5 a gallon so we can be more socialist, like Red China and the Soviets. Damn, this is hard. I wish Reagan would run again. Where is he, anyway? Does anyone know who he endorsed?

• I need to see more side-to-side photo comparisons of Michelle Obama's and Ann Romney's dresses before I can make a decision.

• Troll harder.

• I need to see astrological charts for the birth dates of each candidate And a sign from God.

• I just can't decide! What are their names again?

• I want someone who will be a commander. I want one of them to call me and command I vote for him.

• It's okay, OP - Just hold your breath for 30 sec, and your brain cell might actually make a choice, without having that, you know, actual breathing thing to do...

  I'm like, "This is all hard!!!!"

• Vegas's economy is finally improving thanks to our undecided voters like OP. Money has been spent on a barrage of TV ads, mass mailings from candidates that we receive daily, non-stop robo and personal calls, and daily visitors from candidate's reps. Hope that trickle down theory works, at least occasionally.

• Sheesh... Try to have a little fun and hope others would chime in with their take on undecideds, but noooooo. People actually took it seriously.

• Sorry, OP. People are trigger happy- I'm one of them. We can't tell the difference anymore. Republicans have crossed the line into self-parody. It's hard to tell what is an actual GOP quote or an article from the Onion. This is a funny post though.

• I am waiting to see what Kim Kardashian says, I really like her. I heard Honey Boo Boo is for Obama. That helps.

• Seriously? There are people here who didn't get that the OP was making a parody post? Some of you may be more comfortable on another site where less brain power is required. FWIW, I liked it, OP.

• I got you, OP.

• I am an independent and politics is broken! The two parties are exactly the same! I'm voting for Nader! Oh wait, you say he's not running? I'm voting for Jill Stein then! That'll show 'em!

  Too%20cool%20for%20school%2C%20too%20stupid%20to%20live

• Are women allowed to vote? The white guy is kinda sexy.

  Typical%20undecided%20voter

• I'm a gay male and I'm voting for Romney to piss off my shrink.

  He%20thinks%20he%20knows%20everything%21%21

• Who's the black guy running for President? Is he really black? I am overwhelmed by how long the ballot is - I don't know any of those people. Also, I don't know how to get to the polling station. If someone gave me a ride, I'd probably vote for whomever they told me too. oh ... i got an offer from pair of nice young men in bicyles - I don't want to ride a bike; I'll go with the nice woman with minivan.

• “Can a woman have a baby just from French kissing?”

• “What are the names of the two people running? And be specific.”

• perfect, OP!

  bravo%21

• The black guy is half white so can I just vote for that half?

  Anonymous%20

• The Lindsay Lohan endorsement really threw me. First Romney and then Obama. So confusing. If she can't decide, how can I?

• Do I have to do any ballot reading? Are there any prepositions up for vote this time?

• I'm not into politics that much. Is either of them cute? I can't remember ... Dan Quayle, now there was a looker. Is he running this year? How about that Edwards fella? I hear he has big schwanz.

• Undecided Bump.

  Anonymous

• I heard the white guy loves America, and the other one doesn't. Also, the other guy is black. That's not good.

• I heard one of them has a bunch of kids with a black woman!

  Teabagger, horrified.

• R20 made me laugh.

• Is there an app for voting?

  Anonymous%20