"The Cabin In The Woods"

WTF was this piece of shit??! It's hailed as a brilliant horror film by 90% of critics rounded up on Rotten Tomatoes. This was so boring, so corny, so fake, are Americans this easily entertained today? I truly don't understand this one. It's like "American Pie" with a few zombies thrown in. I didn't even have high expectations. Please tell me that I'm not the only one who hated this tripe!

• Clearly you didn't get it.

• I was unimpressed as well.

• I didn't hate or love it. It's a parody of slasher movies, at least the first part of it, and I prefer supernatural horror movies, so that part didn't appeal to me much. The second part is interesting but it's not really horror. The Evil Dead remake will probably be more to my liking, if they don't fuck it up.

• It was very meta towards the end...

• I bought it on Amazon streaming for $1.99. After 30 minutes I turned it off and demanded a refund. Now,normally I would not care,but it's not about the money. Just on principle I refused to waste one red cent on this turd of a movie.

• R5, what the fuck were you expecting? It's a really fun movie. I have to wonder about the mentality and the lack of sense of humor in people who are hating on this movie.

• If I ever have an urge to see it I'll just wait until it shows up on DVD at the local library, or on netflix.

• If you go in wanting a standard horror movie, then you'll be upset. If you go in open minded, it's fantastic. It's not an actual horror movie, and it's not really a parody of them either. It's more commentary on horror in general, and that's why I loved it.

• I agree, OP. Audiences are so easily amused now. Of course it was meta, when was the last time you saw anything aimed at Millenials that wasn't meta? The only surprise was how glaringly obvious the "twist" was in this film. Scream was a better comic "meta horror" than this, by a mile. And that Fran Kranz (ridiculous name) guy was fucking awful; I was cheering his death. Watch it for Jenkins and Whitford, and the beauty of Chris Hemsworth and Jesse Williams, but please don't try to tell people they "don't get it" when they tell the truth about this piece of shit.

• Bizarre overreactions on this thread. Compared to Prometheus, this movie was a work of genius.

• I feel sorry for some of you who couldn't enjoy this movie for what it was. I think you're the kind of people who go around looking to be disappointed in life.

• I feel sorry for some of you who enjoyed this piece of shit for what it was. I think you're the kind of people who go around settling for anything in life.

• AMEN OP. This film SUCKED donkeyballs. Could not understand the excellent reviews. Most critics and viewers seem to like comedy laden horror. This movie was for sissies. Excellent horror- The Hills Have Eyes remake, Inside, Wolf Creek... This was fucking horrible.

• R12, I feel sorry for people like you who forgot how to have fun.

• As soon someone in the movie uttered the word 'Director' I groaned and knew what was coming. But it was all that 'free choice' talk that annoyed me most.

• It wasn't FUN R14, it was stupid, boring, and derivative. It wasn't even a good satire.

• OP, it was a piece of shit, but since Joss Whedon's fingerprints were all over it, the defenders of his other pieces of shit with cult followings will tear you to shreds. It's what they do.

• R13, your post is about as stupid as saying "I went to see Annie, and it was HORRIBLE! It wasn't scary at all!" The movie was by Joss Whedon. It was a comedy, a meta-spoof on horror. You're upset because it wasn't what you wanted it to be. That's not the film's problem, it's yours.

• I thought "Cabin in the Woods" was terrific, those who didn't get it should just live in a cave. Luv Chris Hemsworth!

• R18, that movie was even less funny than it was scary. If it's to be judged as a comedy as opposed to a horror, it's an even bigger failure than posters in this thread have claimed. Comedy-horror? Um, still unsatisfying. It wasn't fulfilling as a revisit to an established genre, it wasn't fulfilling as something new and fresh.

• Parts of the film reminded me of Michael Jackson's Thriller. I thought it was a pretty cool movie. My major disappointment was the death scene of "you know who?"...it pretty much was a surprise.

• "Annie" is a TERRIFYING movie!

• Redheads have always terrified me. No joke.

• Troll-dar r18. That out of the way... Foreign horror of the millennium is fucking terrific! America fucking sucks at making horror films. Even "Insidious," which wasn't bad, was made by Australians. Don't get me started on the turd that is "Paranormal Activity." I sat through that thing almost falling asleep until the very end which was actually good. I know good modern day horror. "The Cabin In The Woods" = "Scary Movie" franchise. What blows my mind in relation to "The Cabin In The Woods" are the reviews. Those are fucking terrifying!

  OP

• Cabin in the Woods is a Joss Whedon movie. Watch 7 seasons of Buffy, 5 seasons of Angel, 2 seasons of Dollhouse and Serenity and Firefly and then you'll get the movie.

• "The Cabin in the Woods" sucked. Hey morons, we fucking "got it." Anyone over the age of 12 could understand what it was going for. It was incredibly simple-minded and juvenile. Also, I (and the other haters, probably) know how to have fun. We just expect a little more intelligence in our comedy. "Scream" came out around 15 years ago, and their meta-horror is much more brilliant. This wasn't funny or scary, just dumb. Chris was pretty beautiful, though.

• For me it was 'Look what Joss Whedon can do within a stand-alone movie made for horror fans'. I enjoyed it enough to buy it. The set-up is a white-people slasher serial. It asks and addresses every problem within these B movies and then takes them to the ultimate conclusion. Also, we get to see Sigourney Weaver fight like a ninja - one of the redeeming features of 'Paul', btw.

  OP%20hates%20Blythe%20Danner%2C%20America%2C%20and%20Chris%20Hemsworth

• I realize I'm late to the party, but I just watched it and, to my surprise, quite enjoyed it. I don't know why haters are going on about how there's some kind of twist, it lays it all out for you pretty much from the first scene. It's more thrilling than scary, but it's quite clever. Moreso than Scream, really, because the irony is different, and deeper: the movie revels in the classic horror tropes, but it implicates the audience, as well -- we're the ancient gods, the bloodthirsty ones who demand bloody deaths for our satisfaction. Incidentally, for all the haters out there, an aggregate of more than 400 critics top 10 lists places The Cabin in the Woods as the #22 best film of 2012. Above the likes of Rust and Bone, Anna Karenina and...wait for it...Les Miserables.

  http://criticstop10.com/

• I'm another one who didn't understand why the critics gushed over this. I had high hopes for it--I'm a fan of Joss Whedon's and I love the Scream movies (I was under the impression the tone would be similar)--but I was very disappointed. I didn't find it clever at all.

• These are the threads I love. Chimps who don't understand something and bitch about it. Entertaining movie--deal with it.

• I thought it was fun but nothing amazing. There hasn't been a good horror movie in years now though.

• I liked it but the most "shocking" moment came when I watched the special features and saw that Heather Langenkamp who played Nancy in the original A Nightmare on Elm Street was part of the special effects team.

• Here is a GAY movie that you people might enjoy, get you all tingly with fear n such! "The House of Adam"

  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0481545/

• Rotten Tomatoes is pure bullshit. You'll pick it up after reading especially critics' commentary. The only way to get to the truth is by cruising members comments. Look up a known stinker and review the reviews, see who is going easy. They're paid, that's why. I trust DL reviews because this place has a cynical edge and gets to the truth. A true horror masterpiece is due us for decades now. It's not you.

• I saw CABIN twice in theaters, it may work better as a "film" than a "movie" meaning that for the general population who have certain expectations going into horror films, they'll be disappointed. Case in point: I didn't care for EYES WIDE SHUT the first time I saw it. Didn't "like" it. Eight viewings later, I agree it's a masterpiece. But it doesn't hit those familiar beats or notes that make us feel like we're watching a mass-audience friendly "movie". I may appreciate it now, but I'd never suggest it to a teenager. Many great films are like that. My dad doesn't know what the hell to make of a Tarantino movie--he just can't process it. And my mom thinks the Coen Bros movies are "weird". Critics loved CABIN because it is challenging, fun, and a worthy deconstruction of the genre. Most audiences DID like it, thats why Lionsgate spent the $ to rescue it from MGM, so it's not something that only discerning or highbrow audiences would like. It's ok if you didn't enjoy, but to get all hyped up on how "bad" it is really says more about you than the film.

  cineguy

• It's way better than I thought it would be for a shelved film. Chris and Anna's American accents were flawless. Suppposedly the stoner dude had the hottest body of any male in the entire cast, so they deliberately kept him dressed in baggy, hipster wear.

• Omg this movie sucked massive donkey balls. I'm a huge Buffy / Angel / Firefly fan and am a big fan of Joss's work but this movie was just awful. Complete waste of time.

• The stoner dude -- Fran Kranz -- shirtless:

  http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-euSEmuiyR_s/UCvKRjBzwpI/AAAAAAABZAg/Ze9poBjhv3k/s200/fran kranz.gif

  Naturally, when you type his name into Google, "Fran Kranz gay" is top choice

• Awful, awful movie, and I'm a bit partisan about Joss Whedon, since we both went to Wesleyan.

• Stop trying to make Fran Kranz happen.

• R37, you're an idiot. Sound like all those concern trolls from the election: "I'm a life-long Democrat, but Romney really makes sense!"

  SUUUURE%20you%27re%20a%20Joss%20fan%20%28rolling%20eyes%29

• [quote]Hey morons, we fucking "got it." Anyone over the age of 12 could understand what it was going for. It was incredibly simple-minded and juvenile. I'm pretty sure you didn't get it. The irony of these over-reactions is that the movie pretty much predicts them (after all, it's saying the audience are the ancient gods, and if they're not satisfied by the FORMULA they'll get pissed off and destroy you).

• Thank you, r42! Somebody else gets it!

• This was a comedy, right?

• R44, partly, yes.

• From the original thread: "Am I alone in thinking that the "Ancient Gods" were the audience in the theater? To me, it explains everything--why the different countries were failing (their horror movies weren't living up to the American tropes), why the guys in the lab were "not the only ones watching," etc. The director is LITERALLY the director. But the most compelling piece of evidence was the "sunrise in 8 minutes." Eight minutes later, what happens? The lights of the theater come up, the world of the film is over. To me, the film was so meta-horror that it actually implicated the audience. We wanted them to fit the stereotypical molds. We wanted to root for the heroes. We wanted to see a bloodbath. We wouldn't be happy unless we got exactly what we were asking for and expecting. At least, that's how I understood it."

• I hate it when people say that when others don't like a well-reviewed film, it's because we're not smart enough to "get" it. That's so insulting. I "got" The Cabin in the Woods; I just didn't like it.

• I loved it, but I agree, saying someone didn't "get it" is silly.

• In this context, definitely.

• A lot of you are getting really angry over a movie. Chill. Freaks.

• That ancient gods idea isn't smart or interesting. JW is good at dialogue and can get to good places given the time (which is why he's good at TV), but this sounds fairly unimaginative. These things aren't too hard to 'get' - they aren't practicing the art of subtlety!

• I loved the movie, I get why it wouldn't appeal to everyone but I thought the concept was intriguing and the execution was damn entertaining. There were a lot of people that didn't "get it", that is fair to point out, that doesn't mean that everyone that didn't like it didn't get it however. Nor does that mean they are somehow inferior for not connecting with the creators intention. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

• There is no way Fran had a better body then Jesse Williams. I rewound him slowly taking off his shirt several times, and I so don't do stuff like that.

• Horrible movie, Chris Hemsworth made this film worth watching.

• While I do get the whole 'the gods are the audience' thing I wished JW would have given us a neat twist like the virgin being the male stoner or something like that. It was a nice movie (with the company guys getting attacked by the monsters they created, enslaved, inprisoned, or whatever).

• [quote]I hate it when people say that when others don't like a well-reviewed film, it's because we're not smart enough to "get" it. That's so insulting. I "got" The Cabin in the Woods; I just didn't like it. Hate it all you want... it's usually true. Perhaps that's why you hate it? Having your own shallow ignorance shown to you in a mirror like that?

• I swear, Joss-stans/Brown Coats are even more obnoxious and ridiculous than the Madonnastans!

• I did enjoy the movie when I saw it in the theater and even watched it again when it came out on DVD. At least it tried to be different. It would be fun to see some of the other 'choices' on the board 'come to life'. Alas, that whole operation got DESTROYED. Maybe they could do it as 'prequels' to the 'final' TCITW'

• R56 thinks he's hip because he "understood" what the writers were *trying* to do! Guess what? So did everybody else. And the movie still sucked! Get over yourself!