I need a man like...

I need a man like a fish needs a bicycle. I need a man like a witche's tit needs an icycle. I need a man like a dyke needs a motorcycle.

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• Bump.

• But dykes do need motorcycles, OP.

• OP, no one needs you. And it's not our fault. It's yours.

• I don't care if you won't talk to me You know I'm not that kind of girl And I don't care if you won't walk with me It don't give me such a thrill And I don't care about the way you look You should know I'm not impressed 'Cause there's just one thing that I'm looking for And he don't wear a dress I need a man

  A. Lennox

• As a fishhook seeks a fish, As a dying child wants Make-a-Wish, As cannolis are delish- ious, I need a man.

• As a whore needs a pimp As a cripple has a gimp As Chris Christie resembles a blimp I need a man who ain't a wimp.