Feel like shit. My nephews and nieces are doing better than I am
I'm ashamed to admit I am envious of their successes. They are all in either LA or NYC, living the height life and making loads of money. Meanwhile, I'm hoping to get a job making ends meet.
Anyone else have young family members they are envious of?
I'm still very happy for them, but with each promotion, I feel another kick in the gut.
*high life. Damn autocorrect.
Do you also blame the dog when you fart ?
OP, Are they happy with their lives? Some are very lucky to have talent and good health, and have chosen a lucrative career. Is money the most important thing to you? Maybe they envy your looks or level of physical fitness.
Don't worry op...they'll be dead soon
It's possible to live the high life for years on borrowed money, and when the bills come due in a decade or two then the truth is revealed. . . . . something like "the whole book by it's cover" thing.
My niece is in her second year of University and has straight A across the board
I'm so proud I could burst!
I'm envious of my brothers and sisters, as well as a few of my friends from high school. They have extremely cool and high-salaried jobs, even though I'm probably smarter than all of them on paper.
When I was a child, and through the "prime" age of being able to do anything, my parents and their spouses (and two of my siblings) always acted jealous of me. I kind of learned to back away and let everyone else have the spotlight, because I had no choice at home. More than anything in the world, I deeply regret not overcoming this pattern.
I'd like to add that I'm truly not a selfish person, nor do I think I'm the world's best at anything. But familial jealousy happens all the time, and it can be very damaging, especially when parents take it out on their kids. (I'm not saying you take it out on anyone, OP, because it sounds like you don't. But I know the feeling of wanting to. It sucks.)
You're never going to be happy comparing yourself to anybody else. Except for total losers. And doing better than a total loser shouldn't make you feel very good about yourself. Figure out what you want, what there's time to get, what matters and work toward that. Worry less about the outcome than the effort. Day to day it's what you do that influences your mood most of all.
My brother makes 10x more than I do and I sometimes I feel jealous. However, he's a good guy and doesn't rub it in my face.
Use that envy to motivate yourself. If your family members can do it so can you op.
Op: get a life
My brother too must make 5x what I do (and I do pretty well). I rarely feel jealous though because I see how it has affected him socially and I realize how lucky and great my life is.
You never know what is really going on in these people's lives or how long their success will last. I'm never jealous of money issues. I'm only jealous when people I know start having children (weird, I know).
I have two nephews at university and know they're going to have great lives. I don't envy or begrudge them their future success at all.
What kills me is the envy I feel toward my peers, my old friends and former schoolmates. I'm by far the least professionally successful of anyone with whom I grew up, and the shame I feel now that I'm back in touch with so many of them is destroying me from the inside.
Thanks a lot, Facebook.
I guess I am lucky, because I can think of zero family members I am jealous of.
My siblings and all my cousins are married with kids, living in rural small towns. If I were living their lives, I would be so bored.
I guess some of them might be more financially secure than I am, but I love what I do, have had some great career opportunities, and I have great friends. I always have things to look forward to ... I think that helps.
There will always be someone who has more money than you, someone who is better looking, someone who appears to be more successful, so stop comparing yourself to others and be grateful for what you have . If you must compare yourself to others, think of the millions of people around the world who have far less!!
OP, I get it. It's a natural feeling and it doesn't take away from you're happiness for them. Because I was the most educated in my family, including extended family, there was some thinly veiled envious remarks and behavior especially from my sister-in-law who was pretty much a pampered housewife and made no use of her education degree. I didn't have time for all that nonsense and despite what they'd remark what I did wasn't glamorous to me since I worked very hard for it and still do. As someone above remarked I would feel obliged to downplay it a lot. Still some things you can't hide - what I do IS more important than what they do.
But because I chose a career that didn't chase the dollar and is more public service oriented I probably make less than some of them and I know I own less than most of my relatives now. I'm not jealous because I am very happy with my work and life but I certainly admit when I see their homes and cars and all the things they seem to be able to afford I have a momentary twinge of "Geez why didn't I look out for my financial self better? It might be really nice to have that fabulous kitchen blah blah blah."
But in the end I wouldn't trade places with these people and I certainly wouldn't trade my career with any of theirs.
I really do want a fabluous kitchen. LOL!
Can relate, OP. Three nieces (brother's girls.) Oldest: makes over $80K as a teacher in Philly; fiance makes $200-300 at his company; they have a adorable 3-year old; travel; take him with them.
Middle niece: husband is an asshole, but recently got job transfer near Vegas. 3 kids (?!) which I do NOT envy. Her husband's parents: filthy rich.
Youngest niece: bi-polar but really "works it" (not being insensitive; I hvae mild bipolar - Bipolar II - myself). Still lives at home at 28, for Christ's sake. Wraps my brother around her little finger; disgusting.
And they all text, text, text; don't even have vmail messages(!!)
Guess I'm too old, hee-hee!
Only people who are unhappy with their own lives are jealous of others.
My sisters will both be able to retire soon, one because she has a well-off husband who doesn't want her to work after he retires, the other because she's worked for 30+ years at a dull government job with a nice pension.
I'm close to broke and right now I'm not working. And when I do get a job, I'll have to work for 13 more years until I can retire. But I'm not jealous -- I'm actually very happy for them.
That's because I did what I wanted to do with my life -- I spent eight years in college studying something that fascinated me (ABD); I traveled, I worked at jobs that I enjoyed and quit them when I stopped enjoying them. I moved to a place where the scenery was beautiful and the climate was conducive to my much-loved hobby, and I bought a house there. And I've been living my life every day in a way that makes me feel that, if I died that day, I would die happy with no regrets.
If you do that, OP, you'll never be jealous again.
Gays do worse because studies show they will take lower paying jobs and avoid anything that makes them work long hours.
This time is spent cruising in bars and online in the hopes of finding men.
This wage problem is also present in woman who leave to have children. The so called glass ceiling virtually disappears when you compare women who have no kids and works constantly with men of the same ilk.
Bottom line, gay men spend too much time in a futile effort to find the same kind of relationships straights have. This ignores the fact that gay men are NOT monogamous.
Studies from Brown University, Princeton and UMass have actually been cancelled because they could not find a single male couple that was monogamous for more than three years. Gay men cheat. They spend far too much time looking for sex instead of working to further their careers.
Sometimes I feel bad about where I am in my life.
I'm a math professor at a community college. I don't have a phd, just 2 masters degrees.
My fellow classmates from high school who were also at the head of the class are doctors, lawyers, engineers and pharmacists. They make waaay more money than I do.
My job has less stress and better hours than theirs though.
[quote]I spent eight years in college studying something that fascinated me (ABD); I traveled, I worked at jobs that I enjoyed and quit them when I stopped enjoying them. I moved to a place where the scenery was beautiful and the climate was conducive to my much-loved hobby, and I bought a house there. And I've been living my life every day in a way that makes me feel that, if I died that day, I would die happy with no regrets.
Well, smell you!
Everyone in my family are losers. I have an Ivy education and I still am a loser. It's in our DNA.