How can you tell the difference between a gay guy and a bisexual guy?
I have gaydar, but what sets off bi-dar?
no such thing as bisexual men
I believe bisexual men exist but most who claim to be are frauds.
Guys that have pretty narrow standards of how they want their sexual partners to look, both male and female. Because they have a bigger selection of potential mates
I.e. from the Kevin McHale thread, the bi guy might say he prefers only "exotic women".
Guys that dont really ping as gay, but are trying way to hard to be masculine
Bisexual = six beers
The earrings don't quite match the caftan.
R1 = moron
r6=in denial, you are gay honey
I'm a woman so I don't have much opportunity to observe the sexually ambiguous behavior of the repressed married men and overcompensating gym bros of the world. Having said that every openly/semi-openly bi guy I've ever known has been a very particular kind of weirdo, so when certain traits including but not limited to goofy bad hair, prog rock fandom, casual mention of Fetlife in polite conversation, fantasy literature obsession, and interest in godawful Burning Man bullshit start to pile up, I start to wonder. Intellectually I realize that not every sex-obsessed, ambiguously-autistic guy on Earth likes the pole and the hole, but the ones I know and love best mostly do.
I stopped reading r9 as soon as it said "I'm a woman"
R8 = fucking moron.
Yes, I'm gay. Duh.
But that doesn't mean that there aren't bisexual guys. Only fucking morons and idiots claim there's no such thing. It's such an absurd idea...
[quote]Only fucking morons and idiots claim there's no such thing. It's such an absurd idea...
Well if you say so...I guess it must be true.
Me too, R10.
The bi-guys I've met bottom without pretending to be 'versatile'; more boundaries that I didn't know existed.
R9, I've noticed the same thing.
The faint taste of anchovy on his dick while I'm sucking it.
Someone once said to me, "There are a lot of bi guys at this party." I asked how he could tell and he said, "They like to be touched by other men and they keep looking at women's breasts." And that did pretty much describe me.
[interest in godawful Burning Man bullshit ]
Ha! R9 speaks the truth. Back when I was a whippersnapper it was prog rock, cocaine and Brit Pop.
why the fuck would any man here care about what a woman has to say about bisexual men?
Because the question did not specify responses from men only, r21.
"Bisexual" men -- who are, in reality, merely closeted gay men -- will cruise you while they're out shopping with their wives and kids. They're also generally stingy with the reciprocity in hookups, e.g. they want to suck and fuck but will rarely *do* the sucking or bottom.
"Bisexual" guys, if you encounter them at places like work and whatnot, will try to come up with any excuse they can think of to "hang out" -- but no, not ever EVER as a "gay" thing or, Christ forbid, a "date"! -- and then get conveniently drunk enough to claim plausible deniability about anything that transpires afterwards.
Why wouldn't we want to hear what a woman has to say when the subject is bisexuality? There are plenty of threads where I don't think they really should be participating but this certainly isn't one of them.
Don't be so reactionary.
Bi guys don't exist except on the pages of left hand magazines.
Just means they're still in the closet.
Why do you folks continue us to perpetuate the fallacy of bisexual males?
[quote]Why wouldn't we want to hear what a woman has to say when the subject is bisexuality?
We prefer not to hear their opinion on any topics.
Well a gay guy likes to stick their dick in an ass and/or have a dick stuck in their ass but not stick their dick in a pussy. A bi guy, otherwise known as they "married gay guy", likes to stick their dick in an ass and/or have a dick stuck in their ass but also will once or twice stick their dick in a pussy.
Bi dudes are generally more masculine and mainstream. They tend to like and play sports and refer to other males as "bro" and "dude." They are just like straight dudes, except, sometimes they notice other dudes, although most don't admit it to others.
r28 is a retard
Hello, the year 2000 called and wants it's discussion back. Do any of you people ever leave the house?
r30...you can now take the internet with you when you leave the house
Bi males say "dude," "bro," "bruh." Only closeted or athletic gay dudes do the same.
Mental midgetry thread.
They might ping as gay and straight and, unlike closeted gay men, comfortable with both.
No one says any -dar is flawless.
Bi guys like men and boys.
Bi-sexual guys will 'flirt' with a guy. I will overhear one talking, look over and think "mmm hmmm"- even if he doesn't appear gayish or metro. There's just a playful, teasing lilt to his voice.
Straight guys will deal with other guys in a flat, arm's length manner.
Bisexual men are afraid of commitment, especially with other guys. So, they settle with women.
Bisexual men are flity with other guys.
Bisexual guys are the ones who end up settling down in committed relationships with women.
You'd think this study would have helped shut up the idiots who claim that there is somehow no such things as a bisexual male.
I don't get why some old queens need to take comfort in the idea that a guy cannot be bisexual, just because you lied about being bisexul doesn't mean it doesn't exist. There is no logical reason why there wouldn't be bisexual guys.
Anyway, back to the question, I have two friends who are openly bisexual and have the sexual history to back it up. They are two very different people, the only similarity they have is they are both a little out there I guess. Anyway, stereotyping people is never gonna work out that well.
[R2] I agree that for some it means "I'm married to a woman but really want guys" etc. but there are guys who can get into either gender.
[R40] Gay men are so bi-phobic that men in samesex relationships often just identify as "gay" to avoid the hassle of having to defend (explain) themselves.
Oh yeah, they both are currently in a serious long-term relationship with a women (who know they are bi). I don't think there is some truth to the fact that most bi guys will settle down with women. Easier that way from a societal point of view and also easier to find a women who actually wants to be a real emotional relationship as opposed to many guys who just want sex.
R37, R40, IYHO, Why DO bi guys settle down with women? Is it just because of societal conformity?
When you and your wife are in bed with a bi guy he'll go down on both of you.
y best friend was a true bisexual, he loved to have sex with women and men. If he saw a hot chick or dude, he'd get very flirty with them. He did settle with. a chick, because he couldn't find a guy to commet to...most of the guys he dated only wanted sex.
My first boyfriend was bisexual, little did I know that he would leave me for another woman.
Bi guys have attitude problems and are usually borderline sociopaths
Push him in a lake. If he sinks, he's straight. If he floats, he's bisexual. If he does a salute to Esther Williams, he's gay.
I'm so sick of ignorami (both gay & straight) claiming I (bisexual male) don't exist. Human sexuality is complex and nuanced enough that you cannot pigeonhole everybody into only two categories; there is a gray area between them.
I know that stupider gays won't accept this, but I always have been and always will be bi with an ever-so-slight preference for women. Deal with it.
Easy, bi guys leave a slime trail behind them.
In my younger days I was a Kinsey 3. And threeways with men and women were the biggest fantasy, and on the occasions when they were real I was fully participating with both.
Now, if I could get truly turned on by anyone, male or female, it would be an extraordinary event.
You can't, except that if you go to the bi guy's home it will probably be messier, less color coordinated and he will have stood up to pee in the toilet---lift the seat, you can tell.....
The gay guy is drunk out of his mind while the bi guy is still a couple of drinks from being gay.
IMHO, while some bi guys are really closeted gays (I was one, and got my huge share of pussy (although I was also married to a woman and after the divorce oddly dated strippers which led to my first encounter with a bi guy as a bi guy).
So, yes, I get the whole hate for bi guys by gay men since the great majority are just closeted.
But, I *do* believe there exists bisexual men: my definition: men who *admit* their sexual attraction to other me, and some actually act on it and are smart enough and confident enough to know it's OK. Most other men won't ever admit their attraction...even if just fleeting. And that's society's fault.
Men who are "bi" are mindfuckers. They are duplicitous. They will lead you on and then break your heart if you get too vulnerable with them OR reveal your feelings. They are careless with the emotions/feelings of gay men. They are all about themselves; many are sociopaths or borderline. They will feign shock and surprise when you tell them what they did to you. BE GUARDED around them. They are master manipulaters. They will reel you in and make you think you are truly special to them and then will mention some "hot girl" they want to fuck OR comment on some beautiful women in their line of sight. They hold just enough back to draw you in. They are a bit mysterious and can flirt like nobody's business. But they are cruel. They always find a way to remind you that they are not really 100% into you and are looking for pussy, too. OR are looking for "something" that you can't give them. It is always all about them. Always, ultimately. You can never trust a guy who identifies as "bi." I put it in quotes because the term is really up for a new definition. Most bi guys that I have known have ended up with women, not with other guys. Bi guys DO exist, no matter what the people posting want to convince you of. But they are usually the most messed up people you would never want to meet. Either that, or you will fall for one and just put your blinders on and only hear what you want to hear. And will still get your heart broken.
I'm confident that bisexuality truly exists, but it seems like bi women tend to exclusively date/marry men...and bi men tend to date/marry women and fuck around with men. The reason bi people are ridiculed is because they come across as self-loathing gays as opposed to just being indiscriminately sexual.
There are enough bi guys out there who insist that their attraction to both men and women is real that I have to believe them. Insisting they don't know their own feelings is the same thing as straights insisting gay people really aren't gay.
r55, well stated. Thank you.
I personally know of 3 "bi" guys who are now with women and/or have kids, etc.
One was engaged, and now let's his housemate suck him off every once in a while.
They are mentally fucked. It's society's fault.
r55 you are absolutely, positively 100% correct! It happened to me exactly as you described many years ago (time heals all wounds though and I hope time wounded the heel) and I have always mistrusted bi guys since. It's not worth the effort, usually, for a gay guy to completely "convert" him any more than it is for a woman to try and "convert" a gay guy she likes/loves. Besides that, if you don't like kids and the bi guy has kids and maybe a wife, you better realize, even if you do establish a semi-successful relationship/friendship, that if you get him you will definitely get his kids as well and maybe even his wife if he's not separated or divorced.
[quote] IYHO, Why DO bi guys settle down with women? Is it just because of societal conformity?
It's not all about the sex. Most straight men are helpless in many ways and actually need a woman to help them function normally. Have you seen how single straight men live? When they marry what they're looking for is a mother and a sex partner. Like straight men, bi men may be more "dependent" on women than gay men are and that's why they settle down with women.
I think so many gay guys have issues with bi guys because of that r59. Happened to me, He was screwing around with tons of girls behind my back. In the end he got some chick knocked up and moved in with her.
And I hope r61 that he is all burdened down financially with having to raise this kid and send him/her on to college.
[quote](time heals all wounds though and I hope time wounded the heel)
R59 = Eve Arden
These stories of cheating bi guys are awful, but it sounds like at least they were honest about the fact they were bi (unlike "straight" guys who screw around with men behind their wives' back).
The difference between a married bi man and a straight married man is easy - pay close attention to the wife's position in his life. Is she integrated into all of it or is she effectively excluded from parts of his life. For example, he's out of town on business a lot, they live far away from his family, her friends are their friends, he's uncomfortable discussing her.
Between a gay guy and bisexual guy - I don't know. I am assuming we are talking about a man who comes across as gay, but ends up being bi.
(They are deceptive, manipulative and cruel to women, too.)
Bisexuality is not a character flaw. Being bigoted is a character flaw though.
I find that a large proportion of Latino guys are bisexual.
R67, while that's true, it's not exactly a badge of honor for them. Hispanic men tend to be unbelievably bi and gay-friendly, but they have issues with their sexuality due to Catholicism. Also, straight, gay or bi, they're notorious serial cheaters.
r68, I think this is why I have such a jaded view of bisexuals, because 9/10 bi guys I have known were Latino. And yes, they all exhibited the kind of behavior r55 laid out so nicely.
R55, you're just being paranoid. Bisexual guys are just as varied in personality types as pure straight or pure gay guys. You can't assign one personality type to the entire demographic.
However, in my experience, bisexual guys (including myself) tend to be a lot more butch and str8-acting than 100% gay guys. But that's sort of a no-brainer.
Well said, #57.
If you're a bi male and would consider being in a long-term monogamous with a man man as well as woman, then just fine and dandy. But if you're only interested in long-term monogamous relationships with women and men are only for sex, then shove your sexuality ideas up your ass, jerk off and leave us alone. and none one of this "I can't find any men interested in a relationship" crap that someone else put forth in another posting.
Don't believe a damned thing r70 says. And the phrases "butch" and "straight acting" are insulting cliches. No intelligent, educated, informed person USES words and phrases like that.
Crawl back in your hole, creep.
Too bad there aren't more older bisexuals (like over 40) and not all kids.
They exist, and you generally can't tell.
Though there are certain social groups wherein you may be more likely to find one who is super open about it.
Well, R70, you're just an insecure, childish idiot that can't accept that there are SOME regular guys that are atttracted to both men and women, you stupid, worthless, shit-wallowing bigot spoiled brat. GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD, YOU ARROGANT COCKSUCKER, THAT SOME OF US GUYS LIKE TO ALTERNATE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN, you primitive, subhuman trilobyte fuck.
Seriously, pompous horse's asses like #70 are no different than inbred Mississippi trailer parks; the only difference is that the poison is coming from the other direction. From subhuman retard, scum-of-the-earth filth like this. Your bitchwhorecunt $2 slutmom should have died of cancer the day the bitchwhorecunt conceived you with a bunch of barnyard animals, you ancient sewer-residue. Fuck every one of your inbred ancestors for insulting humanity with your wretched presence, you slime-receptable.
On the other hand, SEF is surely a delight at parties!
The bi-guy's cock tastes of pussy.
While the responses have been a tad aggressive, it is indeed impolite to claim that bisexual people are sociopaths or frauds, etc. That's just as unfair as saying gay men wish they were women, or gay men are just gay because of mommy or daddy issues.
Quite fitting that SickEvilDick addressed his diatribe to himself.
And reply #81 is a stupid, petulant little dickhead who means no more to human society than a meaningless drop of uric acid flushing down a San Quentin toilet, you stupid, arrogant little cocksucker. People with your mentality are seriously no better than the bible-thumping, backwater things who preach against all gays. You have the same mentality, you egomanical, stupid little cocksucker. Fuck you and your $2 bitchwhorecunt, hairy-backed mom for opening her blubbery legs to your dad's substandard little cock, you piece of constipated shit.
I'm surprised this thread is still around.
For the record, two of my best friends are bisexual men.
OP, Kinsey 6 gay man.
It is possible there is a decent, nice bisexual man in the world. You know, who isn't a screwed up mess. I haven't met one yet. And don't want to. Life is too short to deal with their bullshit and they make my head hurt, anyway. They are, actually, a LOT like "the girl you regret meeting at a party" from last night's SNL! Yep. They are.
What's the problem with SickEvilFuck?
--- Woman who found out she was married to a bisexual man. (Although, in all fairness, he was just finding out himself.)
I believe in bisexual men, but I have a question: do most bi men who date or marry women maintain an overpowering urge to be with the occasional man (and vice-versa)? Do they tend to date and marry partners who will give them "free passes"?
I know a bi woman who basically hasn't married or super-LTR'd for this reason; she just enjoys both too much.
Children clap your hands if you believe in bisexual men!!
I tend to agree with R2, I actually knew 4 bisexual men, and when I say I knew them - I mean I known them to have had sex with both genders - having admitted to sex with men but currently with women. The thing is they label themselves straight.
Two I knew were the bottoms in the situation and stated they wanted to see what it was like, the did the same guy who was hot. These guys wouldn't have relationships with men, just viewed it as experimentation.
Another I knew to have been involved with several women I know and sexually active with them. He revealed interest in men as one hit on him in a bar. I made a joke when he was given a number, he said it's something he did in the past and enjoyed very much. But he's in a monogamous relationship and needed to cut it out. He did get married and I have lost touch and don't know how that worked out.
The last was a married coworker who admitted to have been unsure of his sexuality when he was younger and tried it with men and didn't think it was the right fit for him and went with women.
Then there was another coworker of mine who flamed like the day is long and he said he was bisexual. He was young and I totally saw him as bisexual on the way to gay. For some reason, people tell me this shit (I am a woman btw), and any man who identifies as bisexual in my view is likely gay.
The word I'm bisexual never came out of the mouth of the 4 "straight" guys who had sexual experiences and/or attraction to men. I think you are likely to hear one say "I'm flexible" before you hear bisexual.
Take a gay guy. Then strip him of his integrity, his pride, and his expensive underwear. Viola! A bisexual!
Oh, I know several guys who are openly bisexual. I've never had any of them introduce themselves, followed quickly with, "and I'm bisexual," but it did come up in group conversations about relationships and such.
Is spotting a bisexual like a big foot siting? Or would you say it's more like the elusive BDF in that everyone agrees it exists (to some degree) but everyone has their own definition of what it is?
For me there's none ... any guy I've been with that says he is bisexual I figure is just a gay guy that doesn't want to be gay.
When I was a teenager struggling with my sexual identity, I confided in my high school chemistry teacher, who was known to be gay but not exactly out (this was Oklahoma, after all). I told him I thought I was honestly attracted to both sexes but I’d seen an episode of Friends where Lisa Kudrow sang a song that has a lyric that said men who claimed to be bisexual were just fooling themselves. So maybe I was just rationalizing to myself. Mr. H, who identified as gay, nevertheless was open minded about the issue. He told me about the Kinsey scale and after talking it over we decided I was probably between a 4 and 3 on the scale. But then he talked about his own test – find a movie with equally attractive female and male leads and see which one you prefer. He said that he realized he was gay when he was young and saw the Fantastic Voyage and preferred Stephen Boyd to Raquel Welch.
So I did Mr. H’s movie test. I went to see the Xmen movie, which was out about that time. But I found I was more attracted to Famke Jansen than James Marsden. Both of them were pretty much perfect specimens of their respective sexes, at least theoretically. So that was kind of weird. But I found Hugh Jackman hotter than either, even though as Wolverine he had that weird facial hair and all that I didn’t like. This confused me even more, so I applied the test to other movies and TV shows. I found that in Lara Croft I totally preferred Daniel Craig to Angeline Jolie, even though he’s got that weird Stewie Griffin head, whereas Angelina is much more fuckable to me than Mr. Jolie, Brad Pitt, who is supposedly symmetrically and physically perfect but who leaves me cold. My tastes don’t really seem to follow any logic. For me, Kate Upton is way hotter than Justin Verlander, but I’d take Brad Ausmus over either. Liz Taylor is far more fuckable in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof than Paul Newman, who does nothing for me. But I’d take Sean Connery over Ursula Andress in a second.
So I’ve come to the conclusion that while I’m (a lot) more homo than hetero, it all depends on the context for me. Maybe for bi men sexual attraction is situational, the way ethics and politics are for thinking men.
Well, some non-bisexuals on here are claiming that bi men settle down with women, and others claim that they end up purely gay, so...it can't be exclusively one or the other...
r94 - but, couldn't that be a natural function of aging - as sexual interest declines with age, bisexual attraction settles for one or the other.
r93 - I agree it's situational, especially for young men that will fuck constantly. But, after middle age - who knows.
You make lots of interesting points R93. Very refreshing analysis compared to the same old played out retread theories being presented here.
I get your point, R95, but no--a lot of people insist that bisexuals are inherently straight or inherently gay, and consider that fixed. I guess they are afraid that any other idea could lead to a slippery slope toward [dun, dun, DUNNN] the fluid sexuality possibility theory.
Anyway this thread is about how to tell bisexual men from straight men, not whether they exist. My response to this Q? If a guy is a certain breed of flirty and feely toward humans in general (which I would never be able to completely describe), I often consider that he might be bisexual. There are somewhat-reliable stereotypes about how some gay men will act around each sex, but I won't get into those.
Bi guys don't like girly or weird stuff. They like being considered a mainstream dude and eschew anything that is considered unmanly.
The actor Gale Harold is bisexual, but in interviews he identifies as straight.
I find the dude-bro thing to be more common with gay men then bi men.
Open bisexuals are frequently flaming. (Perhaps only because non-flaming bisexual blend in as straight.)
I guess it's just really different for everyone. I know a few men who call themselves bi, and one of them says he's proud of the fact that he can understand most of both men and women.
A bisexual meets a woman who he falls in love with but is free to occasionally sleep with a man he's attracted to. That scenario exists quite commonly today especially if that woman has the comforts of life, children and a husband who remains committed to their marriage and family. It's referred to as an "open" marriage. That man will also sexually and emotionally satisfy his wife and since sex in marriage is often close to non-existent the longer a couple is married, it all works out. Being emotionally attached to a woman is what makes the "bi" in bisexual. You can call it closeted if you want, but being gay is an emotional as well as physical attraction to members of the same sex.
50 Shades of Gay.
Next topic, please.
Bi guys don't hang out with gay guys much or go to gay locales.