I Just Got Fucked By The Dogwalker
on my block. I've been eyeing him for years but was partnered. He's a handsome bear who drives a mini-van with = stickers. He picks up some neighbors' dogs and takes them to the park every Wednesday and Friday at around Noon.
Today I finally followed my gut feeling, douched, pre-lubed, and invited him up. In twenty minutes, we came at the same time. My ass hurts so good. He said he's been expecting this to happen but was waiting for me to make the first move. He's 54, about 7", cut, steele blue eyes, and very kind. I'm 50, horny, and single for the first time as an adult.
Am walking on sunshine. Hope this happens again, but have had a very good day today.
Sex%20at%2050%2C%20twinkhood%20is%20long%20gone.- 54 and a dog-walker? LOSER. BTW, how much did you pay him?
- good for you, OP!
fuck the haters
- Congrats, OP.
- Yay for middle-aged quickies!!
- Muumuu lifted. Mission complete.
- He's 54, has a million-dollar smile, is always happy, and is clearly having the time of his life as a dog walker. I'm a "professional," often miserable, but not today.
He was a stock broker. Yes, I felt like paying him or giving him some sort of commission. I did not get his name, but gave him my card and he just texted me.
Friday is going to be fun.
This is how the Eldergays get their game on, kids. It's what you have to look forward to.
OP
- What did Fideaux and Mr. Piddles do while the two of you were porking?
- Gut feelings, indeed!
- OP is like school on Sunday....
Noooooooooo Classsssssss!
- Oh, Dear @r7. It's Phydeaux, FYI.
- Don't laugh, r1. Dog Walkers can get up to $20 a walk, often have five or six pooches on a leash and many are paid in cash.
- Even if it was a low paid job, if he enjoys it who gives a fuck other than lame pissy bitches.
- Way to go, OP!
- That sounds hot. I'm 32 and hope to have similar sexual adventures well into my eldergay years.
- We're so happy for you, OP. And strategically prelubing was such a smart move. We shudder to think what sort of lubricant a dog walker has at hand.
- Pre-lubing has to be kind of tricky. Don't you fear your "spontaneous" hook up will judge you for being so...uh...presumptuous?
- [quote]Today I finally followed my gut feeling, douched, pre-lubed, and invited him up. In twenty minutes, we came at the same time.
Do I really even need to say it?
This.%20Never.%20Happened.
- Need I weigh in as well?
Crystal%20Conners%2C%20guess%20what%2C%20darlin%3F
- Lucky!
Benji%20the%20Horny%20
- Oh dear!
Mary
- Good on you, sounds like a hot trick to me! Congrats!
- Whore
- Did he gently pull your caftan up and over your head, leaving in nothing but the glow of you earings? Or did he just bend you over the divan and hike the caftan up for easy access?
- You gave him your card?!
Patrick%20Bateman
- When he entered your place did he say "Roll over.". ? HA !
- Wow, OP. If Disney made an animated film of your life, it would be called "Slutasia."
Bambi%27s%20Dead%20Mother
- Congrats, OP. You give me hope for an active sex life after ... *gulp* 40.
- This sounds kinda hot. What/who did he look like, OP? And what was the fuck like?
- OP, did the dog-walker fuck you doggy-style?
- OP, don't brag about doing vile things. You should kept your behavior a secret, dude. sad....
- 29 posts and no one asks if condoms were used?
- Mary!
Oh%20Dear%21
- Next, sex with the dog whisperer, age 59
110%20years%20in%20the%20making
- raw? creampie?
- This isn't Facebook, OP. This belongs in your status update.
- OP, have you been tested for STDs. You seem to not be concerned for your health despite living a risky promiscuous lifestyle.
- Wait- you just went out on the curb and asked Hey Wanna Come Up for some afternoon delight? I am prelubed?
anon
- I hope a lot of you congratulating the OP are joking, because believing the OP's tale is stupidity on a grand scale.
Threads like this used to pop up regularly and they all started like this: "I Just Got Fucked By A (fill in the blank)." The OP usually said he was hotly fucked by a security guard, or the telephone repair man, or the guy next door who'd been eyeing him, you know, tired old porn movie scenarios like that.
- Oh, shut up R38. Can't you just play along like the rest of us? These threads are fun, and a great respite from all the political crap.
- At first I thought he was walking the dog, then I realized it was his date.
Cuddles
- "Mother, I just had to call. You'll never guess what."
"Guess whose spluge is seeping out of my hole even as we speak?"
"Oh, come on, guess. It will be fun."
"No, guess again."
"No, certainly not. Guess again."
"Really mother, of course not. Now guess again."
"Oh just give up already and let me tell you it was the neighborhood dog walker."
"That's right, he knotted me like I was some bitch in heat and now don't you know my disused hole is paying the price, but oh it was worth it."
"Let me tell you all about it, and I promise I'll spare no small detail."
- I am happy the op is happy but r41, that was truly fucking hilarious.
- I'm sure no one wants to hear this, but I've gotten more sex after I turned 40 than I did when I was 21. I'm in better shape, happier, less self-critical. Fuck it, I'm bald, my eyes sag a little. But I got a big dick and hot daddy pecs and a lot of guys of all ages seem to like it.
So ha!
- [quote]Threads like this used to pop up regularly and they all started like this: "I Just Got Fucked By A (fill in the blank)." The OP usually said he was hotly fucked by a security guard, or the telephone repair man, or the guy next door who'd been eyeing him, you know, tired old porn movie scenarios like that.
Not that OP isn't a troll, but those specific threads you're referencing were the work of the infamous Noodles.
- Is it wrong that I'm imagining R41's post as read by Anthony Perkins in Psycho?
- Way to go, OP!
- OP's story is so touching. I admit I got a little misty reading it.
- true for my best friend r43, all of the sudden I have all the sex I want, all ages and types. Some guys get more attractive as they age.
when we were in our 20s and early 30s I got all the attention being a cute twinky guy, my buddy, nada.
Now its completely reversed.
- Some girls rape easy.
- vg
- Thanks for posting, OP. Ignore the jealous trolls whose threads never got beyond two replies and their own bump.
- Thanks for bumping. Forgot I ever posted about this. It came up on my threadwatch. It's been a few months of confusion. Turns out he's partnered with a friend of a friend.
We tried to do a 3-way thing, but that gets to be a piece of work after the novelty wears off. They've become great friends and neighbors.
At our age, sex is still fun, but some of us just can't take it seriously anymore.
OP
- What do you do to quell the fibro shakes that erupt afterwards, OP?
- The dogs were watching, weren't they?
- Thanks for updating us OP at R52. It's nice when everything works out.
- r52, you are a hot mess, dude.
- [quote]Dog Walkers can get up to $20 a walk
You mispelled walk. It should be week.
And he probably got fucked not by the dog walker, but by the DOG. And he probably raped the dog and the dog probably was fixed anyway.
- In other words, r57:
I just got fucked by the dog, Walker.