Less than halfway into the semester and I've already two criers
females, of course. One in my office as usual... trying to show me she was "under so much pressure." Another in a hall after class the other night... SO FUCKING INAPPROPRIATE. She almost cornered me and I just casually mentioned is everything outside of class ok.. and here come the water works.
Who teaches women that if they cry they will be treated special. What kind of validation are they looking for?
I validate students regularly. The ones who read the assignments BEFORE class. Attend every time, and turn in their work when it is due.
Is it that difficult for women?
Who cares you're probably a shitty prof anyway.
R1 Crybaby co-ed
Well, it often works for women who manipulate by bursting into tears. As long as it works, they're not going to stop doing it.
Who teaches them? I think it's instinct.
These are also the same types who talk in that annoying "babygirl" voice that's so prevalent in women these days.
Très jolie, Coco. Très jolie.
Wow, OP. Maybe they're going through something like depression or dealing with a sick family member. Some people do cry when they're pushed to the limit. You didn't give us too any details. Did they dry because they failed an exam? Missed a deadline? Hopefully you gave them the number of on-campus counselors in case they're not doing well.
no. actually I told them that I was going to do what they demand with impunity... TREAT THEM LIKE AN ADULT.
I told them that they are old enough to chose the president of the country or vote for governor... that they are old enough to go to prison for lying on income taxes, they are adult enough to make a unilateral decision to get an abortion or enlist on their own into the Marines and be in Afghanistan with other people their age whose parents couldnt afford to send them to college and come back with a damaged spine or one leg.
So turn your fucking paper in on time and come to class like an adult. My job is to teach the class, give you the information you need to continue in this major and adults dont cry..
...maybe they can sense your misogyny...
Only two? I'd suspect more people would try to pull it off at least once to know how far they can go with you get their things done in their favor.
nothing mysoginistic about it, as I would treat a male the same way, except males done come in the office and cry and tell me how crazy their lives are and ask special permission. They just do their work. I have never had a male student cry in 12 years.
[quote]except males done come in the office and cry and tell me how crazy their lives are and ask special permission. They just do their work.
EST. This statement is laughable. Everyone knows it's females who actually DO assignments and study, not male students. Most of guys cut class, cheat, buy term papers and tests, get female friends to "help" them, etc. Only the extreme geek boys study.
So you came here, whining to us because you have to deal with female crybabies at your work? "Adults don't cry" but apparently they bitch and moan and spew misogynist hatred to strangers on the internet and expect validation. Get a job at a private boys school if you hate women.
I'm sick of people using DL as a place to bash women. Just because I'm a gay man doesn't mean I hate women. Misogyny is as ugly and wrong as homophobia or racism.
R1 is correct. R2 is 100 years old.
[quote]I have never had a male student cry in 12 years.
Men are socialized not to cry. When they cry as children they're ridiculed.
Women usually are not so strongly socialized not to cry. Girls who cry about everything will get hints that they're being tiresome. But occasional crying is generally not considered bizarre or weak in a woman.
She might be crying because she's distressed, she's embarrassed, she has poor coping skills, etc. I don't get men assuming it's manipulation, that women can just turn it on. If it were so easy to cry at will, then actors wouldn't use glycerin to fake tears.
yet, none of the males cry. Just the females.
It's social conditioning. Men are expected NOT to cry in front of others for fear of ridicule while women may have experiences that taught them crying may help their cause so...
I agree with the OP. They always have weddings or funerals to go to on Friday that's why they need to miss class. Or they had to take a friend to the hospital last night that's why they didn't get the homework done.
You wouldn't believe the death rate for grandparents during the semester and the funerals are always on Friday or Monday.
Though I suspect OP wants to hear that male students are "superior" as they just tough it out on their own and make it the hard way while females try to cheat.
Eh, both genders cheat and manipulate. Though in different ways that they can get away with.
And there are no exceptions to the rule
Yes everybody's somebody's fool
OP you sound frighteningly like an asshole who shouldn't be teaching. Do you hate all of the women in your life?
I am r16 by the way
nah... i just hate manipulative criers. But I do love how a certain set of posters on here has picked up that one thing and extrapolated all sorts of shit on it... is that what they mean by being intuative?
maybe they are on the rag.
I employ a lot of young people (mostly in their 20's). It's amazing how often they're "up all night throwing up" so they can't come to work the next day. I have the most bulimic group of employees in the history of the world. LOL. I wanna say, "can you idiots PLEASE come up with a different excuse? Entertain me with something a little more creative."
OP, you don't happen to have a younger friend who just moved to town is is avoiding you like the plague do you?
F & F for this fake piece of trash. Go peddle your nonsense to another board full of racists, misogynists, homophobes, and the like. You would fit in better there.
How on earth is op racist?
Given I was in college 20 years ago but I knew plenty of girls who said that if they cried to a professor they'd get a better grade. Girls can do it on command.
I had an economics class where the frat/sorority houses had old copies of the test and the class was based on mid-terms and finals only. After the midterms the sweet little sorority girls were done with a VERY hard exam within 15 minutes and turned it in. The grades were based on a curve and my hard earned 76 was a fail as a result. Cause so many Greek folks had 90s in their scores. I had to meet with the professor and while he couldn't change their cheating grades agreed to give me my final grade on my final grade score.
I realized I could never compete with that amount of cheating and spent the second half of the semester sitting next to an econ geek, got to know him and cheated off him on my final. Got a B+. If everyone else is going to bury you while you try your hardest, what other option is there.
Was happy to have that awful experience behind me. The only time I ever cheated in college but if 60 pct of the hall is pulling 98's on tests, there's no other choice.
Women, especially young ones, are sometimes a little more emotional than their male peers. Just like men, especially young ones, are sometimes more dickish and douche-y than women. Like you, for instance.
The rest of the adult world.
I'm with r7. Op has unrecognized misogyny.
People act like misogyny is a bad thing.
I will never forget one of my college statistics professors. I received a phone call at home one afternoon from a lung doctor. He said he was my father's doctor and he wanted to remove my father's lung the next day, but my mother wouldn't let my father sign the consent form until someone spoke to me first. I was working in a heart:lung unit at the time.
This threw me for a loop. I knew my father had been sick and the last I'd heard was that he'd had a thoracentesis with removal of blood-tinged fluid (not a good sign, but still...)
Anyway, I told the dr that if my father's lung needed to come out, the doctors I worked with would do the lobectomy. The dr then started arguing with me quite vehemently. He put my mother on the line and she was crying and saying she didn't know what to do. It was a very stressful evening.
I totally forgot I had a statistics final the next day and left my calculator home. I didn't know what to do. Everyone finished except me and I just sat there. The prof came over and said, "Time is up, you really need to give me your test paper," and I burst into tears. I'd just found out my father had small cell lung cancer (a death sentence), my mother was in the brink of hysteria (she has severe anxiety disorder), the dick of a doctor had kept me on te phone arguing for an hour and now I was blowing my statistics final. I needed to get at least a B in statistics in order to get into the program I wanted to enter. It was like a floodgate had opened.
The prof could have decided I was a bullshitter or a nutjob or a lazy fucker. But he believed me and told me not to worry, he would use the average of all my homework assignments (i got 100 on all of my homework) for my final
exam grade. I maintained my A average.
What a nice man he was. I learned more than statistics from him.
R32, why did you even go to the class at all that day? You could have provided a doctor's note/hospital record, etc. to the prof/university to get an extension and take the test at a later date. No tears are needed to get a positive outcome when the absence is legit.
Die, miso troll.
Please. OP can barely spell, let alone write, let alone teach.
[R4] wins...by a mile.
OP is hardly a "misogynist" for calling out simple truths everyone has experienced and can recognize, both male and female.
I work for a large university myself and while I don't instruct (I'm in administration) this is indeed very normal. We have 7 student interns and employees, all of them graduate students due to the nature of the office I'm in.
The women, GROWN women, (five of them) will often cry or feign offense, sickness and/or some other tragedy to slack and make excuses. Well, four of them at least. The two guys, while they have their own shortcomings as far as work, just don't do that sort of thing. They come in, do their work, take an active part in meetings and what is expected of them. Sure, they sometimes come in late or call in sick when we know they aren't at times, but nothing like the women do.
Women have been taught for decades that to cry or feign offense or hurt will get them out of many of life's sticky situations while men are routinely held to a different, usually higher standard in those regards.
[quote]People act like misogyny is a bad thing
So you're a bigot, then?
Misogyny is wrong. It's prejudice and bigotry just like racism. Are you going to defend that too? Go right ahead, it's hardly novel on datalounge, but it helps to know where you stand.
Misogyny is also the root of homophobia: gay men are seen as weak and inferior because they don't overtly practice dominance and subjugation over women, at least not sexually. They reject their supposed right to dominate and control women sexually, socially, economically and even physically (what the 'phobes call "traditional marriage"). Worse yet, they'll submit to another man sexually instead, which is stomach-churning anathema to a misogynist. Hatred of lesbians is just an obvious extension of all of this.
Still think misogyny is a good thing, dumbass?
Like most bigots, OP came in looking for a reason to slam the people he doesn't like.
So...he's an adjunct maybe? Teaches 100 or so students (maybe more...they make adjuncts work their asses off), and 2 have come to him crying? So a very small percentage of a total has done what he was looking for (say 1 or 2 percent), therefore ALL of them are like that?
I sure hope he doesn't teach logic or statistics.
R32, bless your teacher. Without knowing more details I wonder if the students are going through something like that. When people are dealing with medical, personal, or familiar issues they sometimes lose it in front of people they normally wouldn't.
When I had to withdraw from classes and take a leave of absence from law school to handle my depression I cried in front of the dean of students and assistant dean of students. I wasn't trying to pull one over on them because I willingly withdrew with no arguments and knew I had to take some time off. Rather, I cried because I was emotionally pushed to the limit and extremely distraught that I had to put my dream on hold. Thankfully they were compassionate. Breaking down like that really embarrassed me.
Typical gayboy response, OP. If you really are a professor, I would hope you aren't such a misogynist.
As a professor, the only ones who cried to me were BOYS. One was because I called him out on his plagiarism, and the other because I gave him a C on a paper (he deserved an F). This was in 10 years of teaching.
Do you teach at a women's college, OP?
[quote]they will be treated special
Let's get the Oh, Dear out of the way.
The expectation of special treatment is annoying. I work in a highly charged direct assistance social service position and this happens all the time.
I ask them to get control and tell me the facts. I base my decisions on the facts not the emotions.
OP, Unfortunately good teachers must also be substitute parents. Not everyone was privileged to have caring, competent family support. While some girls do exaggerate emotional responses to achieve leniency, others have never learned how to cope with stress or difficulties in life. How about taking one class period to teach some "life lessons?" ALL of your students need to know how to face and successfuly deal with workplace and daily life's frustrations.
I'm a senior female professor, and male students do indeed cry in my office for various reasons, when their lives are falling apart. Anecdotal evidence seems to suggest that they are much more likely to show vulnerability ti female authority figures than male ones. I see it as part of the job. I start by listening with compassion, weed out the bullshitters pretty quick, and refer the ones with serious problems to the Uni counsellors.
[quote] they are adult enough to make a unilateral decision to get an abortion
I hope that you are elderly and have savings, OP, because you will almost certainly be dismissed for making that comment to your student.
R43, how naive. You can't teach an immature, emotional wreck not to act like.....an immature, emotional wreck. They simply need to grow up and the only remedy is holding them accountable for their actions---not having an Oprah style workshop on "how not to be a douche."
OP, a lot of this is just immaturity and entitlement. Kids in college these days have not faced a lot of adversity. Remember, this is the generation that got ribbons and trophies for participation and "trying hard." They don't know what it means to fail and they do need to get smacked down by the cold realities of life a little to be able to own up to their mistakes and act like adults. You do them no favors by caving to their (or, increasingly their parents') childish demands.
"Sure, they sometimes come in late or call in sick when we know they aren't at times, but nothing like the women do."
That's pretty fucking hilarious that you think the men's behavior is "nothing like the women do".
10-1 the Op does not have tenure.
I have been teaching graduated students and medical students for decades. I have never had a male student cry in class or out of class for any reason. I have had about 5 women students over the years, cry. I have also had female employees (lab tech etc.) cry, one repeatedly.
I deal with them the same way I would a male. I ask them as politely and gently as I can to pull themselves together and if they cannot, take a walk and come back to see me later or make an appointment at a later date. The lab tech who (repeatedly) cried when she did not get a vacation request I had to discipline, that is to say, let her know that crying was not appropriate and that I would have to take progressive disciplinary action. I was in lock step with human resource policy and procedure.
Yes I guess women, young women in particular, are more likely to use tears, whether in conscious manipulation or out of emotionalism. I have found the situation can be handled without hysterics or drama or abuse of course. I imagine I do not get male students who cry because, well, our culture does not exactly encourage men to cry to get what they want- or encourage them to let it go if they feel badly.
Incidentally, the woman (above) who repeatedly cried to under conditions of adversity, no longer does.
I'm a man, and I'm crying as I type this.
christ you're stupid
If no man ever responded to a woman crying the crying would end, and you know im right. Get mad, call me names, but you know im right.
R46 OP is an instructor, not a boss. I would never advocate an "Oprah style workshop." Just a "this is the reality in the 'real world,'" get tough military style guidelines in the beginning of each course, to prepare the "entitled" students for the working world.
[quote] I had to discipline, that is to say, let her know that crying was not appropriate and that I would have to take progressive disciplinary action. I was in lock step with human resource policy and procedure.
Tiresome. Anything for a career for some queens on here.
Crying doesn't mean a person isn't behaving like an adult. Adults are allowed to cry. Hell, I wish I could cry more. Frustrations and disappointment (assuming this is what your students were feeling) are well within the range of human emotions and crying as a result is one way to rid yourself of the effects of those negative feelings.
Your students' tears should have no effect on you, OP. You shouldn't succumb to it, nor should you feel so calloused by it. They were just expressing themselves, the same way a male student might punch a wall or drive too fast to cope with failure.
Let them cry with dignity, then stand firm to your classroom's rules and regulations.
And quit playing gender games. It's beyond silly and makes you seem the idiot.
I also am in education - I'm an educational evaluator and researcher, and I spend my life assessing the work universities and faculty are doing on the teaching and learning side of their work. The relatively small proportion of focus on those tasks.
Female students do cry. Often. Always. About anything. Out of rage. Out of embarrassment. Out of pride. Out of shame. Out of worry. The OP's points are anecdotally based. But, yes, the stereotype of weepy women seems not only alive but distorted by a devolving, immature, entitled pack of girls whose self-worth is based on unrealistic notions of academic pursuits, life, love - and their ability to manipulate the universe either through cynical emotive displays or turning the motor on between their legs.
Young female faculty tend to be mediocre, vicious and game-playing hysterics. When "mentored" by older female faculty, one sees clots of these mediocrities pouring out into the schools and further lowering the level of everything. And when challenged about anything, they cry, just as they did when they were undergraduates.
And I'm not just talking about the humanities. I see it in the sciences and in math as well. Idiot tear-bags with their cunts grinding towards tenure. Where they'll sit and cry forever, stabbing colleagues in the back.
ok R55... So, when I come into class and start talking about the Holocause, I will just break down and weep for all the dead gay people... and talk about the violence and subject the class to me weeping and sobbing and just talking and talking and crying, then sitting down to compose myself, then talking and crying again... then taking a walk outside to compose myself only to come back and cry for the rest of the house.... Right. Adults are allowed to cry and work, and i better not read anything on course evaluations from my WOMEN students about it... becuase of course I would be treating them in a sexist manner if i called them out on it. That definitely is how it works.
I can't stand women who cry in professional or academic settings.
Good trolling OP.
I'll give your shithead a 6/10.
R57/op. Crying female students who failed a test versus crying over gays killed in the holocaust is the analogy you came up with? Wow. That's frighteningly stupid.
That said, of course women are going to cry more. They're socialized from birth to express, even over express, their emotions. I understand getting annoyed by it. But we there is a practical etymology behind that behavior that anyone with a shred of intelligence could grasp and understand. Kindly tell then that you understand they're frustrated but that won't change the fact they didn't do the assignment/pass the test/were prepared (or whatever) and that you urge them to do better the next time. Offer them whatever assistance is possible per your school's protocol.
This isn't difficult. You sound just as ridiculously "emotional" as they do.
ok, so I won't cry over importanta shit.
Ill just come in and cry because im so under all this pressure and tell the whole class to please understand... I know they will... that all my pressure to prepare fun entertaining powerp[oint slides for them is overwhelming coupled with my faculty meetings and the fact that im expected to look nice every day... and im afraid the sound i plugged in to the show today wont entertain them... then halfway through the class ill just have to stop and walk out in the hall until im better.
i know they will understand my frustrations becuase WE ARE ALL ADULTS and I have had the priviledge of a modern day education where I have been conditioned to fully express my emotions....
but it wont change the fact that they will still have a test on all this stuff.
OP is an asshole who should not be teaching. Guess what, OP? I can smell assholes like you on the very first day, and I drop the class immediately. Go lord your authority over someone else.
A girl might cry; I'd just spit in your face.
R56? You're a fucking asshole. Tell me where you work so I can report your discriminatory views, and, no doubt, your discriminatory behavior.
R56 is probably the same idiot from a couple of years ago who went on a tirade about how women are incapable of orgasm, and that they become hysterical and piss themselves during sex. It was quite unbelievable that there would be anyone currently alive who still thought along those lines.
Lots of posts here saying women/girls use tears to manipulate. I don't believe that's the case most of the time. My experience has been that they are out of control and can't stop the flood gates from crashing open. If it was just game playing they wouldn't be so embarrassed.
It's official. You have such bigger issues than crying females, OP.
I'm guessing you're incredibly fey, secretly hate it, wish you had the power and strength to cry like your female students, hate your community college existence (Wanted to be a writer, but just couldn't finish that novel), have a total lack of sex life (despite that glory hole on the third floor in the Humanities Building), just want to be a man like your brothers and have your father tell you he loves you (he does, but not as much as your brothers - who can throw a decent spiral), know deep down you're a horrible professor who is constantly overwhelmed by the curriculum (you have wikipedia on your phone, just in case you get challenged in class), and kick you dog when doesn't give you the attention you demand on Sunday afternoons.
I've taught at two universities for the past 17 years, and I can only a few students, male and female, who have broken down in my office or in the classroom.
During a mid-term exam, one male student, who was a freshman, stopped taking the test and waited until all the other students had left. When I sat down next to him and asked him why, he explained that his father was a mechanic who wanted him to get a college education. The student only wanted to be like his father and had no desire to be in college. He broke down telling me this. He was scared. The university where this happened has a terrific support system of professionals who offer students all types of services. I walked the student over to Student Services, after talking to him about the value of skills a college education can offer to run a service station.
The other students, three or four at most including one male, broke down after being caught handing in plagiarized papers, and in one case, cheating on an exam. Their tears came from the real fear of the consequences of failing grades, and not to sway me from taking appropriate punishment.
It has been my experience that the overwhelming majority of students, male and female, treat me with respect, do the course work required, and if they miss a class or a due date for a paper, will be up front about it. Of course, I've gotten excuses of grandmothers dying, uncles being hospitalized, friends needing comfort at times of crisis, and other assorted outlandish stories from both male and female students. To say that women are manipulative with crying reveals the sexism of the speaker.
Bwwaaa hahahahah hahahaha hahahaah @R67, which never happened, but good try Nan. I give you 3/10.
What did YOU do to make them cry?
Your suggestion that they are not fully developed women who are in control of how they present themselves to the world is REPUGNANT and sexist, R69 F&F!!!!
No r70 - I did not suggest that at all. I was just suggesting that perhaps OP provokes all this crying.
When an authority figure has a problem with women crying (and only women), and this problem is ongoing, the suspicion is that he is perhaps provoking the behavior.
Not all women (especially at that age) are tough as nails - some are vulnerable to certain triggers from male authority figures.
Note that not ALL the women cry.
R11 is right - women are more typically task-masters and get their stuff done.
However, don't discredit that their body chemistry does make some women more emotional. This is proven science - when men transition to women and start taking estrogen, most say that they are more emotive and cry more easily.
Some misuse it as a method of getting their way - but it's usually a very small percentage.
Most women are embarrassed when they react by crying, but it just happens.
I think men have a more of a "fuck-it" attitude towards things, so they don't get so out of whack when things go awry.
I'm not saying that some women don't use crying as a tool - they do - but it's not the majority and you're overgeneralizing.
R56 seems to also be having an anti-female rant in the Revenge served cold thread.
OP, you're an asshole. I suffer from major depression and anxiety, and on top of holding a stressful position at work, I'm taking two graduate courses this semester. It's been tough to keep going, but fortunately my professors have been understanding when I have a late assignment. You never know what's going on in someone's life, and it's pretty audacious for you to fucking act like the world revolves around your class.
R77, I FUCKING FOFLMAO... got up held my sides then FOFLAMO...again.
I did my gradaute work, took my comps from a panel of full professors at an ivy school and defended my dissertation there.
So dont tell me about stress... and all that other crap. Just leave it at home and dont cry. Deal with it. Are you an adult or not?
I saw Holly Hunter on Inside the Actors Studio talking about this. She said she had to learn to express other emotions such as anger and frustration in her acting BECAUSE in her words like a lot of women tears were her go to emotion that clouded all her other feelings.
I'd rather have women sobbing than emotionally unstable men full of bile and hatred shoot up the place.
OP is lying. He's likely teaching a couple of courses at a community college, because he's such a dick, no one wants to hire him permanently.
This is how women get ahead. It's the oldest trick in the book.
Notice how the responses claiming to be professors/teachers have perfect grammar while the op types like a god damned lolcat. What a rotten trolling asshole.
"This is how women get ahead. It's the oldest trick in the book."
Do you have any statistical data backing up your statement? Yeah, didn't think so. Typical man, just making shit up.
I agree with BonniePrinceCharlie in his previous post. I have been in higher ed for 28 years (as a teacher, advisor, chair, and now dean). I rarely saw tears when I was wearing my 'professor hat'. Students treated me with respect, and I respected them as well. I saw far more tears as an administrator when I played a disciplinary role (chairing honor or academic standards/appeals committees) where the penalties were more dramatic (suspension or dismissal). I've also faced tears and hostility when students were denied admissions to programs.
I never considered these tears as an attempt to manipulate me; rather I viewed them as tears for shattered dreams or loss of face.
R85s mysangist posting has no place in proper society.
[quote]This is how women get ahead. It's the oldest trick in the book.
You mean straight women. This doesn't apply to lesbians.
"R85s mysangist posting has no place in proper society."
Yes, I bet that in your pea brain challenging misogyny has no place in proper society. Are you talking by any chance about the racist, sexist, homophobic "proper" society men have created?
not really, Nan @ R89, but what is your point?
Be grateful that you've only had a few criers.
Teaching is becoming a dangerous occupation, and from what I hear, it's the entitled boys/young men who are threatening teachers everywhere in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.
If you haven't been manhandled yet by a frustrated jock or a pampered Momma's boy you will in the future. Be prepared--it's happening everywhere now.
I think society thinks way to much of crying. To me it's just it's a human response like sneezing or passing gas. It's just reaction to sadness or frustration or pain. A person's entire character should not be judged because they cried in public.
My boss (female) had a crying moment this week, and I could not believe how much the other women in the office talked about it. They hated her for it. Big fucking deal. She cried. Move on.
I worked in academia for a couple of years. Fewer places will you find such a high concentration of selfish, pompous, self-aggrandizing assholes who think the entire future of society is dependent on their sole point of view.
[quote]You mean straight women. This doesn't apply to lesbians.
You must have missed Ellen Degeneres breaking down on national television over a puppy. There are plenty of nutty and manipulative lesbians.
Three different colleagues have turned on the waterworks over the years to smear me. Two of them were old fraus and the other was a little gay bitch (male). Once the tears flow, you're toast. There's no counter-argument. It's like a secret weapon. The managers just say - "But s/he was crying...." Madness.
Crying women have nothing on crying fags.
Is it some sort of mental disorder?
OP, also understand that probably a quarter of your students are being medicated. Anti-depressants and other psych meds wreak havoc on brain chemistry and can cause outbursts.
Just be glad it's only tears so far.
This is off topic but I need to ask- My BF has the most craptastic history prof . His syllabus details very little about might be expected of a student but does talk a lot about how the prof enjoys kayaking and puppet shows. Study guides are nonsensical and tell students "Watch Mexico God Gold Glory on Discovery". Test seem non relevant to the material and he is barely pulling a passing grade. It is too late to withdraw . Can he take this to the department head with any chance of a positive resolution?
Bottom line, we're now a nation of infantile crybabies. Honestly, it's pathetic. All of the nasty Rs crucifying OP's views sound like overgrown coddled brats who are part of the problem.
The only woman that's ever cried to OP is his mother, for not pulling him out with a coat hanger when she still had time.
lol. You are just a fucking liar. You told the girls you will treat them like adults and suddenly they start coming to your office and crying. Alright....Stop pretending to be a professor.
I worked in H/R and won't tolerate it. It's unprofessional.
When a woman, and it's always a woman, starts with the tears, I say, "I see you've upset yourself, therefore I'll reschedule our meeting for a later time, please return to your station."
I'm sick of that. Once I wrote a person up for crying, she did it again and I let her go. Never had a problem at that company again.
I am absolutely fair and a great H/R manager. If you're crying YOU did something and I am not going to feed your underdeveloped psyche.
Wow r101. You are a real piece of work.
Crying is tolerated if someone close to you dies. Then get over it.
There is no reason for adults to be crying about anything.
[quote]I am absolutely fair and a great H/R manager.
I teach and have experienced several crying students in my office. I asked my therapist (female) how to deal with this--it bothers me a lot.
She told me to just let them cry. That was great advice.
Sure thing buddy. We believe you. Now go back to your meds, ask that nurse to give you a stronger dosage next him.
I cried once in my teacher's offce? Why? Because a friend of mine had been abducted while on a walk after dinner with her parents. Still missing to this day.
Crying Girl Con Artist
The "crying girl" is a particularly prolific and notorious scammer who has been victimizing people in Davis. She is described as a normal to slightly overweight Caucasian girl in her mid to late teens, with blond (dyed) hair wearing heavy, tear-smeared make-up. She frequents the downtown area and near grocery stores, clutching a train schedule and approaching people with one of two stories. She alternates between a story involving her mother stranding her in Davis and another involving her boyfriend dumping her and then stranding her in Davis.
She will quite frequently cry during these stories to lend legitimacy. The amount requested for "train tickets" will generally be around $40 dollars, give or take a few dollars, also to lend legitimacy. Reportedly, she has also begun telling people a new story wherein she purports to be homeless. She has been known be become aggressive when people make her mad, and confrontations with her should be avoided.
i've had to work with two women who were middle-aged fan-gurrls - both were smart and talented (tho not quite as smart and talented as they each thought!) & both nice enough - until crossed. one of them could be really sarcastic as well - and went to great lengths to proclaim her feminism and how it informed her outlook on just about everything -
yet when they submitted sub-par work and this was noted - they both resorted to tears.
this really shitted me. especially with the sarcastic one, who had no problems being quite cunty to other people.
of course it was upsetting initially to see someone who is so obviously distressed - but i just feel that in a professional context it's very poor form - and i really felt like they were trying to manipulate me. which made me want to back off until they got their shit together.
i don't care if that's how they interact with their boyfriends or husbands - but it's not appropriate in a workplace.
- and i love women. have as many female friends as i do male - really not a misogynist! work in an industry that has a slightly higher proportion of women working in it - and most of by mentors and bosses have been women. i've admired them immensely and been influenced by their example.
and none of them turned on the tears at work that i ever saw. sheesh!
Applause for you OP.
I'm taking college classes this semester and am so sick of Brylee, Kylee and Beckee with low cut blouses and whispery voices trying to flash beav and boobs to get their way in class.
[quote] Once I wrote a person up for crying, she did it again and I let her go.
What an asset you are to the HR world, R101!
OMG, people are being let go for "crying"? The HR manager who did that sounds spectacularly inept.
There's a lot of pussy envy on the DL.
r113=Baylee, whose college resume lists 7,562 minor club offices she held (like secretary) or for things she did for 30 minutes one time, so she could get it on her resume and show it off in some interview for any of 57 simultaneous internships for which she showed op about 30 percent of the time but listed them on the next application for some job for which she is totally not prepared and knows eventually will be put on probation for incompotence but wasnt worried because she always knew her final trump card was a big boo hoo until she read this and is now TERRIFIED.
BAYLEEl you in danger girl.
"Stop the waterworks you dumb cunt, and get back to work! This is a business, not Oprah's fucking book club!"
Director of HR
r8 is right.
R86, you perfectly described why I broke down. As I noted, I was distressed because a dream had to be put on hold and was severely depressed to begin with. Some people are legitimately burdened with medical or personal issues and cry because they're in distress. I'm sure some people try to manipulate, but don't assume that every person who cries is doing that. People who think adults should never cry are emotionally unhealthy. Suppressing emotions isn't a sign of strength.
r110 - why would anyone cry if they submitted subpar work? I can't understand it.
BTW, sarcasasm in women, especially the constant, ongoing type, is usually an expression of deep-seated rage.
Granted feminism can put a chip on some women's shoulder, but there are usually other issues there as well when it informs their entire life.
most crying at work or school, in women, is more a sign of frustration and inability to show anger than anything else.
some maybe manipulators, but real crying - tears, for an extended period, shaking - that's real and certainly not for whatever minor inicident triggered it.
I think it is a peculiarly self-centered point of view to assume that the point of anyone's tears is the effect it will have on you.
Instead of forcing people not to cry, how about letting them cry and not letting it influence your decisions?
Well if the guys don't cry, do they offer blowjobs or something?
Crying is one of those emotional blackmail weapons that people like to throw around now. It's like they think the world must suddenly stop because the waterworks start flowing.
Instead of insisting that the person stops crying, which will only make the matter worse, it is much better to keep your composure and continue treating the person in the same manner that you always have. Calmly and respectfully deal with it.
It is greatly important to treat all students exactly the same.
WOW, I guess I'm just a big ole girly-girl because, on Friday, I came home after my last class and burst into tears. I'm doing fine, I didn't screw up any papers or exams, and I wasn't trying to influence anyone. I was just tired and frustrated and crying seemed like a good idea at the time. I didn't cry to any of my profs because I wasn't upset with anyone. I just tweeted it out for the virtual hugs.
[quote]nothing mysoginistic about it,
I [bold][italic]greatly[/italic][/bold] doubt anyone who spells "misogynistic" this way, or who thinks "females" can serve as a noun when describing human beings, is an actual college teacher.
Nice try, OP.
Reading this whole thread through after having tagged the OP (starting at r6), it's quite clear that the OP is misshelenbedd, once again giving into her strange delusions she's a college teacher even though she does not how to spell and thinks "misangist" is an actual word.
Here's what she looks like in real life (her real name is David Dean Bottrell).
Be warned: she's not a pretty girl.
A real cry session can be very cathartic but I would never do this in front of an authority figure. You really lose respect when you cry about anything other than a traumatic event.
Slow clap for R121. We have a winner.
This is indeed a classic mhb thread. You can tell it's him: the misspellings, the blatant and boastful misogyny, the nutty pretense of being an academic.
Civilized people have a town crier to handle this sort of thing.
mhb has been awal lately, but yeah, maybe...
Eh... hard to know whose side to be on, here. I guess if OP treats the non-crying female students with respect, then I can agree with the OP. A sob-fest (on cue) does not merit a midterm paper extension. I'd say the same thing as OP. But if OP is generally full of contempt toward all students with vaginas, then OP should not be teaching.
Clearly it's the latter, r132.
I cried once during a meeting with my boss - I was so embarrassed. Sometimes it just happens and you can't stop it. I think it's an oestrogen thing.
I was being interviewed for a job once by a 3-person panel and one of the interviewers started crying after asking a question. Boy, if that wasn't awkward...