Does it revolt you if you see one dangling from your trick's hole? Do they distinct from anal warts? Do the internal ones hurt when you're being pounded?
I almost spit all over my screen, R1. VERY appropriate reply.
There was a guy I once picked up at a bar who turned out to have a nasty case of them--when I pried his cheeks open and saw them I was rather put off the idea of screwing his ass and told him that he really should have them removed and that it wouldn't be a good idea to fuck him. He said he planned to; in the meantime he got his otherwise nice ass spanked until his buttcheeks were a nice rosy glow. Or, if you want the short answer--I wouldn't.
Wear a condom and fuck away.
Wait. Hemorrhoids can "dangle?"
That settles it. There is no God.
This Week in DL has been pretty rough in the ass ewww subject area. I find that whenever this happens, it puts me off behinds for awhile.
However, when the UPS man came today, he delivered several packages along with a doorbell ring and a jaunty knock. I looked out from upstairs, but all I could see was from the brown shorts down. It was enough, my oh my.
I don't know what it is about the UPS uniforms, but they seem to make even very average men look above average. There was one UPS guy who delivered where I used to work as a receiving clerk; we developed a kind of "rapore" and quite often if he wanted a favor from me the payment was to smack his ass in those oddly sexy brown pants--I think he may have enjoyed being spanked.
Oh, dear, dear, dear.
OK then, rapport--I was half asleep when I wrote it, think of it as "poetic license". Now level with me, both 8 and 9 were PPSM, right?
PS, PPSM (if it is you) you really ought to save your ire for those who ask the question, usually while talking loudly and rudely in public on cell phones, "where are you 'AT'".
Now level with us, anon -- you're an illiterate dumbass, right?
I thought this thread was about hemorrhoids r12 not your aching desire to inquire about my literacy or being a dumbass; perhaps you are the original hemorrhoid. To answer your question about being an illiterate dumbass I will say that I can certainly hold my own compared to many who post here, at least--maybe even someone as high and mighty as you!
actually, it's a known fact that getting fucked regularly is one of the best ways to prevent hemmoroids (or however you spell it).
Bullshit r14, you wish.
Do you mean that if you get fucked regularly, you can kiss your hemorrhoids good bye?
I'm surprised that this subject doesn't come up more on these boards. I read recently that 50% of Americans will experience hemorrhoids at some point in their lives. This evidently has been linked to the design of the modern toilet... something about how we evolved to squat in fields, so when we're sitting upright on a toilet and bearing down it puts pressure on the veins down there and causes 'roids.
I have not read anything to indicate that anal sex causes or prevents hemorrhoids (though it does seem as though being anally penetrated while you have untreated hemorrhoids could be painful and cause great physical irritation). Even if that's not the case, I can't think of anything so dick-withering as the sight of an ass full of hemorrhoids.
"Dick Withering"? I think I've just found a new drag name!
R14 is correct, R15, to a point. Stimulating the anal area is a great way to avoid the on-set of hemorrhoids; a hemorrhoid is not an STD, it's not contagious. There are obviously different types of hemorrhoids which might not lend themselves to vigorous activity such as external hemorrhoids. A hemorrhoid, even an internal one, might be accompanied by a anal fissure so anal intercourse might prove uncomfortable in that circumstance and you'd of course want to to use a condom and avoid any ejaculation near your anus.
The cause of hemorrhoids is largely unknown, though a lot is known about the circumstances in which they occur - often when people are constipated, they push their stool and put intra-abdominal pressure on the blood veins around the anus. They are very common; in men over 40, it is said that over half of the population suffers from hemorrhoids. Most women who have had babies suffer from hemorrhoids.
Of course, one of the worst things about them is their name. And among the number of causes, they are thought to be hereditary. Never push and maintain a diet high in fiber and you might avoid them - but that's no guarantee.
The Chinese consider them a delicacy, and will pay up to $50,000 for a pound.
I had a really big one. After it was removed I decided to preserve it in a jar of formaldehyde. People often think it's a fetus.
what do you do about them once you have them? is there any treatment other than eating a fiber-rich diet?
I can't imagine anyone wanting to fuck when you have Hemorrhoids. JFC!!! I hear they hurt like hell so I can't imagine how much worse it would feel to be fucked on top of that. Also, it must also make one more susceptible to all kinds of std's.
They grow and shrink and you can help them along with Preparation H.
Close your eyes and pretend they're speed bumps.
Licking a hemmer is better than a shit hole.
Anyone ever have a pilonidal cyst? How to get rid of THOSE?
One more reason, pussy's better than shithole.
Honeys, it's the closest thing to a clitoris that Momma's ever gonna have, so I love when my blatino cagemeat pounds my mussy clit!
try external castor oil as treatment - "wear" some to bed
[quote] Do they distinct from anal warts?
They do distinct, OP. When they're septic they distinct like rotten hamburger.
A little like your brain, too, for that matter.
I had a large external one and two smaller ones inside. I had them removed, the smaller internal ones would get inflamed and very painful during a flare up. The rectum would practically swell shut. It's fine now, I make sure to eat plenty of fiber and never ever ever sit on the toilet and read or strain.
The exterior one looked like a clitoris, it was nasty looking. I wanted that one removed more for cosmetic reasons as it had not flared up in years. It was like a huge skin tag by that point, ugly as heck. Back in the early webcam days in the 90's, I remember spreading my ass to people when they requested and then they drop out of the chat. It looked like an ugly tiny finger, ugh.
[quote]we evolved to squat in fields
we evolved to poop in stores, but society insists we use toilets
This is the best thread EVER!
When I have mine removed, I'm going to save them and turn them into ART!
I will never forget the Howard Stern show which featured a $5,000 prize for the worst hemm's.
Nearly 100 men and 3 women showed up for the call, and a doctor of proctology and gay Raoul did the initial look-sees to narrow it down to the best(or worst)8 for the TV show.
Everyone of them gladly w/o shame dropped their pants or pantyhose and spread 'em for Howie, Artie and Robin(who is a BSN)and I have never laughed so much in my life. Not so much was I laughing at the poor folks and their hemm's but at the hosts who were either on the verge of fainting or vomiting the whole show.
Each was worse than the one before, but every one was hanging at least 4 inches from the anus. The winner's was indeed according to the doctor, the worst case he had ever viewed even in medical school. It was the sized of a small catcher's mitt and hung 8 inches and was 7 inches wide. He could tuck most of it up inside, but can you imagine what it would be like to live with that? OBAMACARE NOW!
So the biggest hemorrhoid was larger than the dick on the winner of the Smallest Penis Contest?
 Dude it was bigger than the BIGGEST penis contest! It was like a new born baby.
R29 - surgery is the only way to get rid of that cyst. The surgery is pretty wicked and takes a long time to heal. My friend had it removed when he was in high school. Imagine being 15 and having that type of major surgery . Check out YouTube for examples of the surgery.
My I never had huge hemorrhoids like what is described in the previous posts, yuck!!! But, I had small hemorrhoids for years which I bled off and on. I went to the doctor now and then for years. At one point I had to see my recent doctor immediately because I felt such intense pain which escalated to the point that it was excruciating ,and I was bleeding a lot! In addition to my hemorrhoids, I had fissures that were so bad that my doctor said my skin was ripped to shreds. I had no idea that my situation was that bad because I have always been so used to having hemorrhoids on and off for a long time I never thought I was in such a horrible situation.My doctor avoided surgery as much as possible because he said when you have surgery, the pain is much more worse, and unbearable! I took my fiber pills and drank more water than usual because I only drink water, and I never drink soft drinks. They went away but they basically come and go still. You have to constantly eat healthy. Also, exercise is a huge factor that will reduce hemorrhoids.
Thanks R43. I should check out youtube but I'm kinda scared. But I guess I gotta know what I'm in for. I have a recurring one and it's a pain in the ass (pun intended).
I can tell you from experience the recovery from my surgery was excruciating. I was in bed for two days on vicodin every four hours and toradol every six hours.
I moved my bowels the second day and literally screamed (I know, Mary!) from the pain, plus blood splattered everywhere. Awful. I stayed home the whole week from work. I'm happy to be 'roid free now though!
This thread is making me horny as HELL!
 am happy for you that all is well!
earthclinic.com has good tips for how to deal
I have had my beloved Hems for over 35 years. Got them when I was in my late teens and thought I was dying. Blood coming out of my ass! My doctor laughed and told me to use Prep H. Well they never really went away. But this was the late 70s early 80s and because I was so ashamed of them, I never had any gay sex during that time. This shame actually saved my life, because had I not had them, I'm sure I would be an AIDS statistic by now. They no longer hurt or bleed, but they are always there. The surgery option seemed to extreme and I never bottom, so it's never been an issue. But I'm sure they saved my life.
We have a lot in common, R50. Everything you said applies to me except age.
Very interesting and strangely fortuitous gentlemen. Glad you're both healthy, but I'm sorry you have the 'roids all the damn time.
[bold]Can you fuck when you have hemroids?[/bold]
It depends on the level of one's motivation.
Fuck no! Most painful experience of my life!
If you limit yourself to ten loads you'll be fine, OP.
Howard Stern is beyond gross. what a complete sick pig! They poster who thought that people showing their most worst case of hemorrhoids, and the staff getting sick after seeing them is funny, is completely insane because that is really scrapping the bottom of the barrel to get a laugh.
Well R56 I laughed my fucking ass off. I couldn't even make it through the rest of that poster's paragraph for a few minutes, his description alone was killing me. OMG!
Googled a preview of the actual show and I must've laughed for fifteen straight minutes.
Anal sex may feel good for the top but, overall, it is tedious and tiresome and fraught with risk of disease and other painful maladies. I'm not het but anal sex is not for me.
i have been struggling with this for a while. got hems during college, and still struggle with trying to bottom successfully. it's stopped me from really experiencing that part of gay sex and i hate that. i take a lot of fiber and that helps a lot, but i still can't seem to really enjoy pain free bottoming. never sure if that's from the h's or that's really how it feels
R46 same experience. If I had any idea of the pain involved I would never have agreed to that surgery.
Seven years later, despite increased use of fiber and eating lots of vegetables and fruits a few have reappeared.
My new doctor explained that in my case, I have an unusually long bowel tract, and extra fiber is not enough. He recommended stool softeners twice a day and drinking lots of water. So far so good.
What about cauterizing them? Sounds like it might be a less painful procedure, less recovery time and a more permanent result.
I got my first hemorrhoid at 33 a few months ago. It didn't itch or anything, but there was a small bump. I went to my doctor and he prescribed Proctosol-HC. It took about a month, but the bump completely went away. Haven't had another one since and hope to God I never will. It wasn't bleeding or itchy or uncomfortable, but I don't want to have a bump on my ass.
[R62] have you been bottoming since you had said hemorrhoid?
I've never bottomed, R63.
r62 is your prescription a REQUIRED prescription or can it be obtained over the counter?
R65, no, it's not an OTC. He had to write out a prescription.
R61, I had a gastroenterologist tell me the same thing about hems--that they'd burn them off.
I can fuck with 'roids. I am a total top so it's no bother to me at all. I can still drill your ass and make you see God!
This convo is tooooo fucking funny..
I think hemmhoroids, err... Hemmeroids, (sp? Whatever) are caused by lack of fiber and from eating meat. I think meat causes hemmeroids.
I like this group. More. Talk more pretty. I like you all.
[quote]literally screamed (I know, Mary!) from the pain, plus blood splattered everywhere
Regarding the external dangling 'roids, do-it-yourself kind of lesbian that I am, I managed to tie mine off with some sewing thread. After a few weeks, it falls off. You might have to continue to add tighter and tighter threads, to maintain progress. It will probably be a bit painful to sit. It will probably get larger, and darker, until the ugly thing falls off. ...This was about a month ago, and it hasn't returned.
You have to be rather limber to manage this feat by yourself, or be lucky enough to have a good friend or SO to do it for you.
I also did this with some moles on my torso, a few years ago. They have not returned.
I don't want to see that!
The occurrence of anything protruding in the anal area indicates that a man has heavy-duty experience and will provide a superior ride.
That's why you should never give a rimjob in the dark. Some dude I was eating out had some once. It felt like I was licking a row of nipples, but in his ass. Never mind the weird aftertaste on my tongue. It turned out to be Preparation H. It takes a while to get that taste outta your mouth.
And forgot about fingering it. Helen Keller would've mistaken that shit for braille.
If this thread merges with the "I have someone coming over to fuck me in 15 minutes but I have a stomach ache" thread we will have a truly explosive situation on our hands.
I was saw a porn (some French 'daddy' studio) where the 2 flipped, and the top (who got rimmed beforehand) had a massive hemorrhoid.
Why show that? WEHT fluffers and stunt butts?
R76, Probably a combo of a hemorrhoid and anal warts. The surgery you have in your future is a bitch.
Hemorrhoids are a total turn off and an absolute deal breaker. No sex, no dating, no nothing. Holes have to be perfect even if the person attached to it is not.
How do people even get hemorrhoids? What causes them?
No. Get rid of them with cotton balls drenched in vinegar. Sleep with them wedged in your butt crack (but not your rectum) overnight. Pain and swelling gone.
there is nothing wrong with sitting on the toilet provided you lift your arms up in the air.
I'm in tears, I'm so immature. This thread is going to make me laugh to death. Do you remember the thread about boils or pimples? That one had me outta control laughing as well.
If they're hanging out of your asshole, they're probably anal warts, and you should find a doctor and have them removed. You're basically a walking STD until you get this taken care of.
Howard Stern is an ass.
Actually getting plowed will flatten them.
I had a big purple one once, went to the emergency room and asked them to slice the top off. They did, it was gone and everything was fine.
r73 I always said it pays to be handy with a needle and thread.
Just the thought of it makes me nauseous, it sounds painful!
DO NOT USE VINEGAR ON A COTTON BALL for them! You'll burn your ass.
The doctor recommended swelling reducer is a cotton ball with WITCH HAZEL ASTRINGENT on it.
With hazel reduces swelling and it does work wonderfully in shrinking them and is quite soothing, too. I've tried it in the past and it worked fine for me on a big purple 'rhoid that lived on my pussy lips.
Witch Hazel is also very good pore cleaner after your facial mud pack. It closes pores and removes skin oils. It is also excellent for BURNS, dry skin, chaffing, etc! Makes your skin soft. And is great for after shaving razor burns, even on your shaved bum hole and pee-pee area! It's also a great hair rinse, making your goldy locks nice and soft and shiny.
NO SELF-RESPECTING LADIES BATH SHOULD BE WITHOUT A BOTTLE OF WITCH HAZEL!
How do you get a hemorrhoid on your vagina? Child birth?
Being fucked with hemorrhoids is like giving birth to broken china.
Can you eat when you have a tooth ache?
this thread is making my eyes bleed and my imagination as me to stop....
Thanks [R94] now I have a nightmare!
Does anybody gets them genetically? If mym dad has them, does that mean could I get them, too?
Put plenty of lubricant in your hole and you can do it. Now if you are with someone with a huge cock that would hurt anyone, then you are going to hurt like hell.
hey guys. I have internal hemorrhoids that some times prolapse after a bowel movement (when i push, which i know i shouldn't but sometimes can't help it).
when they are "out" they tend to allow a discharge of a pink-ish fluid and some times it takes 1 or 2 days to stop doing that. I feel so bad when that happens because I need to have some toilet paper in my underwear to avoid reaching my underwear and pants.
doctor said is ok... but this is really embarrassing :( I am a bottom and for the last... 8 years I haven't bottomed because i feel so bad to have hems.
It's like eating popcorn when you have a sore throat
R98? Try a maxi-pad on your underwear. That's what they're made for -- to absorb blood. I did it myself when my hems began to bleed -- and they stopped bleeding after a week or so and never came back.
r100 I use a strong panty liner. Less bulky. And yes, I find that with plenty of lube, getting plowed by a thick one makes them better! Flattens them out and puts them back inside where they belong!
You truly must be an idiot. No, don't fuck someone with hemmroids! If you don't know why, google it. Or do it & end up with a variety of problems for both of you.