- Photos or it didn't happen.
- Sending love and hugs, OP. It sucks. Majorly sucks. I'm sorry.
- Omg, I'm so sorry. May your cat rest in peace.
- What was on his iPod?
- So sorry to hear that, OP. My dog is getting up there and gave me a scare today too. She sleeps a lot and when I came home from work she would not wake up even after I started petting her. I could see she was breathing, but feared she was in a coma. She did finally wake up. You probably won't have the best birthday, but you did good adopting your cat and I am sure you gave him the best years of his life. My pooch comes before everyone -- even the husband, so I know it will be really hard when she goes. Hugs!!!
- I know when my cat died of old age I had to remember that he had a wonderful, happy life with a lot of love, and wouldn't want to live in pain. Just focus on the good times you shared together.
- All cats die
- Thank you for the sympathy and thank you, R1 and R4, for giving me a slight smile... this is why I love DL.
I was already bummed the fuck out over my birthday and my plan was to get super high tonight, make a pizza and try not to think about getting another year older. I'm definitely not thinking about that now.. I have Tyler, the cat, to thank for that.
I may wrap him up in a blanket and lie him next to the bed one more time tonight, where he had been sleeping the last few weeks.
- Thank you, R5. I hope your pup lives a long life. I have reason to believe that whoever had Tyler before I adopted him beat him, likely with a broom. I never hit him a day I had him and yet,he would often times be scared of me. It made me so sad to think of what his life with the other person must have been like to make him afraid 12 years later.
I just feel so bad looking at him now because there's nothing more I can do.. that's it.. it's final. I won't hear him purr anymore. I can't tell him I love him. He died alone while I was at work today.
I'm just waiting for some anti-pet troll to come laugh at me for being so upset over the death of a cat.
- I'm not laughing. I actually have tears in my eyes reading your posts. I just went and gave my two cats a little pet & a kiss.
Tyler was lucky to have a human who loved him so much, and I'm sure he loved you too.
- [quote] I never hit him a day I had him
Well done then!
- I'm so very sorry, OP. I'm going to go hug my 2 cats right now. They are everything to me.
- Love and hugs to you OP. Lots and lots of love and hugs to you.
Tomorrow, on your birthday, instead of mourning, you could celebrate his life and yours. Think of all the wonderful times together and be grateful you knew Tyler, and Tyler knew you. Tyler would want you to be happy. You were (I can tell) wonderful to him. Light him a candle for me.
Tyler didn't die alone, he had you. You may not have been there, but your heart was and he knew it.
- I'm sorry, OP. It hurts a lot, I know.
- Now you can get some human friends!
- He loved you too.
- OP, you were a good owner, a good friend and cherished your pet.
Pets nor people live forever.
Mourn your loss.
Call your friends and share your loss.
Call your loved ones and tell them how much you love them.
Get another pet.
- [quote]Get another pet.
Jesus, some grief counselor you'd make.
- I'm glad you took it in the spirit in which I meant it, OP. Hugs.
- The rigor mortis is definitely setting in, so he must have passed shortly before I got home. He must have been waiting for me since he was by the door, somewhere he rarely is in the middle of the day. I've had him most of my adult life (I'm turning 32 tomorrow), so Tyler is the first real long-term death I've experienced.
What I really feel bad about is that I was home almost an hour before I noticed him lying behind the front door. He usually didn't come out to greet me until late in the evening, the last several years he slept more & more. I was in such a funk about my birthday, that I just walked in, set my bags down and didn't even check around.
When I picked him up to set him on the blanket, I heard his body "sigh"and I started losing it.
- So sorry OP. I've lost so many wonderful cats over the years, 17 years is a good life for a cat. Mourn your cat with your friends, drink a toast to him or her, allow yourself to cry and wallow in your pain, cats and dogs are like children. And when you're ready for a new cat, be it next week or next year, you'll know it.
- My signature cut off at "being a big Mary"
- OP, sending you a hug. Someone sent me the famous "Rainbow Bridge" poem when my dog died and it really helped. I know some people may laugh and call it cheesy, but I'm passing it on in case it might help you...
"Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... "
- R23, you're right. That Rainbow Bridge thing is extra-cheesy. But every time I read it, it makes me cry!
- r24, every damn time... I read paragraph 3 of the Bridge, and I turn to mush.
- Thank you for the poem, R23. I hope I do meet him again, I still felt like I never did enough for him.
I set myself up the last couple of years, expecting to come home one day and just find him lying there. When I saw him today, I kept saying to him, "Tyler... Tyler?" like he was going to wake up. Those years of setting myself up didn't prepare me at all.
I keep looking at him. He was a Russian Blue- solid grey with green eyes, purple paws, little black nose and (what developed over the last 5 years of his life) white whiskers. He always crossed his front paws and I called him 'regal'.
- [quote]What I really feel bad about is that I was home almost an hour before I noticed him lying behind the front door.
- Those of you who are falling for this are just damn fools.
- My sympathy for your loss, OP. I know how it feels.
And, yes, that Rainbow Bridge thing is totally cheesy -- and makes me cry every time I read it.
- R27 I didn't swing the door wide open when I came home, so I didn't see him. He was lying with his head next to the wall.
Fuck. This just fucking hurts. Pic of Tyler in his regalness below...
- Do you also need to have major surgery and are you all alone?
- OP, r27 may be a dog person/mama. There is a definite difference. When you wrote that, as a dog person/mama and not a cat owner, it caught my attention, but I have cat lover friends and know dogs and cats are very different. Ignore r27. Cats are so independent.
Just looked at your link at r30. Tyler is beautiful. RIP.
- [quote]He was lying with his head next to the wall.
So you opened the door to your residence, walked inside and then closed it.
And missed the dead cat on the ground.
- OP Tyler was a handsome cat. I have a Russian Blue mix who looks a lot like him...he has purple paws as well. Russian Blues have a regal demeanor, even when they're playing.
I'm sorry you lost your friend.
- Hugs to you OP. sorry for your loss. And Happy birthday.
- Don't know what to tell you OP. I lost two cats in the past few years. The second one which was my first pet was 14.5 and I adopted him when he was 2 months old. I loved that cat to death. It's almost a year since he died and there isn't a day that I don't think about him.
- R33 I live in Weho, so I didn't close the door after I walked in. I don't have a/c and it's been pretty warm the last few weeks.
I can't come to grips with yet that Tyler's gone even though I'm still sitting next to him. He was fine this morning... but he couldn't do another day. I brushed him with his favorite brush and there was no purring, nothing but silence.
I don't even care that it's my birthday tomorrow. I'm more concerned with getting his final resting plans in place (cremation since I don't have a yard).
I am more happy that he went quickly rather than through a long, painful illness, but I am angry that I got no warnings.. no goodbyes...
- You were his best friend. He was fortunate.
- Oh God, the Rainbow Bridge poem gets me every time.
Excuse me while I cry for my faithful Sheba...a beautiful girl with a loving heart.
- So sorry OP. At least he lived a really long and happy life. We all die sooner or later. Hugs to you.
- Hopefully you won't be in such a funk about your birthday ever again OP. You're alive. That's beautiful.
- My kitty died about 2 months ago in much the same way. She was about 15 and her heart gave out. It was my first big loss and I can relate to how tough it can be. I would tell you my story but it will hurt too much too listen to myself tell it.
I have 2 more kitties that I love very much and I can tell you one lesson I learned. Take your older pet to the vet when it's having any sign of distress (use your instinct, like I should have), quickly find out a diagnosis or if it involves major disease or organ failure. Any treatment to save the animal will be thousands and for most, an impossible bill.
Do not allow the vet to give you false hope.
Find out how much time, minutes or days and don't try to extend them. Make sure they are not in pain. Spend all the time you can with them, and then hold them while they are euthanized. I wish I had done that.
- My pugs Bear and Bubba died a few years ago. I had to Bear down, it was very peaceful for him, but he realized that something was happening. I was crying, petting him and telling him what a good dog he was, saying his name over and over again. Then he gave me one sad look and was gone, his head dropped on his paw.
I took Bubba to vet and the brought him out in a blanket so I could hold him, he was coming in and out of consciousness - I lightly touched his eye and he focused on me - such a loving look. The next day the vet called and said passed during the night.
Very painful - I have one pug left Brazen. She's 11 and I don't know what I will do when she goes.
- Russian Blues are extremely loyal and connected to their person. Very regal and beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a bond and a loss so hard to describe. Give yourself 6 months to grieve. Be grateful you got to be loved by a cool kitty.
- OP, I am so sorry for your loss. Pets are wonderful support (as the charity in SF says; of course, we realize it anyway.) What a sad shock. My thoughts and prayers are with you. It may be of the slightest comfort that your kittie died naturally at what is, as you pointed out, a very old age and nice long life for a cat; he/she died at home rather than you having to go through the very sad task of taking him to the vet to be put down. You would have had your goodbyes, yes, but I think it must be very sad to take one's pet on that final journey.
I agree with the posters that say eventually; you'll know when the time is right: it would be great for you to get another cat.
I'm sorry it happened near your birthday and near what would have been your and your cat's anniversary. Take it easy and mourn your losss fuly - we understand your grief and feel for you.
- Well he lived a nice long life and you have to remember that. It sounds like he died in his sleep, which is the best anyone can ask for.
- OP, I'm sorry you lost Tyler, he was a beautiful proud looking little boy. Thank you for sharing his picture. I lost my fury fluffy little boy from cancer and didn't even know he was sick until a few days just before he passed. He was 13 and lived a very adventurous life right up to his end. Now I have to prepare myself again to lose another of my fury fluffy children as my girl also has cancer and is not expected to live much longer although she lived a full happy 20 years and I'm so lucky to have them both share their lives with me. Cherish your memories our pets are blessings.
- Hugs to you OP. Judging from the pic you posted, your Tyler was not only a beautiful but happy cat (the paws extended forward never lie though I'm aware he did not necessarily spend his whole life in this position, if only for eating purposes).
Anyway you were obviously a good and caring owner and I'm sure Tyler was able to appreciate it, esp. after a shitty early life (though he would probably hiss at the word 'owner' or maybe politely pretend it's not the other way round as most cats do.)
My two cats are getting extra hugs today, thanks to you and Tyler. Take care, OP.
- How much do you want for the furs?
- I'm so sorry, OP. My beautiful Millie, who I'd had for over fifteen years since she was a kitten, died last week, and yesterday I buried her with her brother (who'd died after being hit by a car a while back). I buried her in a lovely pet cemetery in the country, and I found it's been very helpful to me in dealing with my grief to have laid them to rest (as I see it).
The pain of loss of a beloved pet is difficult, if not impossible, for someone who hasn't experienced it to understand. I lost Millie ten days ago, and still cry every day. She was with me for almost every day out of the last fifteen years, and the loss is almost unbearable.
Your cat was absolutely beautiful - thank you for posting the picture. It's going to be wretched and painful, and you are going to miss him terribly, but know that there are many of us here who understand completely, don't think your pain is silly at all, and you have our deepest sympathies. You obviously gave Tyler a lot of love, so do think about getting another cat when you are ready.
Big, tight hugs, OP.
- I'm very sorry about Tyler, OP.
So many homeless, unwanted cats and dogs but Tyler got a loving home with a caring person for 12 years thanks to you. I hope that thought comforts you today on your birthday.
- Ah, your grey cat is beautiful, OP.
Btw, not only am I not a cat person, I am severely (hospitalization-level) allergic to them and have been since I was 8. However, even I can recognize a good-looking and special cat when I see one (from a distance).
- RIP Tyler,
- Pet mortuary? Do they embalm them? Why not just take Tyler out to the woods and give him a nice natural burial instead of spending hundreds to let someone else do it?
- OP sorry for your loss. My cat Junior was about 6 years old when he suddenly died. No illness, I just found him on the back deck stretched out like he was sleeping. I actually put him into a back bedroom just to make sure he was dead while I drove to a hardware store to get a shovel. It makes me laugh now but at the time it was a shock and very saddening. He rests under a weeping willow and I always acknowledge him when I'm close to it, even 6 years later.
- OP, one of mine died at home too a few years ago and the second one I had to have put down. Both lived to 18 and both had kidney disease which I understand is not that uncommon at that age. The one who died at home had been sick on and off so I didn't go thru the horrible shock you had. That must have been awful for you.. I know you feel miserable. Do give some thought to adopting another.. that's what I did. Sending you internet hugs, as silly as that sounds but I am!!
- Forgot to add I just saw your picture of Tyler. What a beautiful cat. Take care of yourself OK?
- Ah, it's a beautiful Saturday morning and I'm crying. My girls recently turned 4 and I adopted them around 6 months old. As shelter cats, I don't really know their birth dates so I've given them September 1st as the day. They are still fairly young and I hope they live to old cat ages, but I admit I get teary-eyed even thinking about the day they go. I feel ridiculous, if the thought of it has me in tears, I don't even know how I'll cope with the real thing.
- Happy birthday OP. Hope you dont have too much of a headache from the wine and grief.
When my cat Susannah died earlier this year I was devastated. I still miss her so much I could cry. I had her creamated and have her ashes in an urn next to my bed. After she died I found a claw and whisker. If I ever strike it rich I will have her cloned.
RIP Tyler. OP you gave him the best possible life.
- Go right out and get yourself another cat. It will make you feel better.
Take it from me; I did exactly the same thing when my grandmother died, and it worked. I still have the replacement old lady.
- Oh OP!!!!
You're making me cry too! Tyler was a beauty--and so blessed to have you--and you, him. Tyler absolutely knew you loved him--and he went knowing that fact. Actually, he may have chosen to go without you there--I've read that msany times, people keep vigil over a loved one in the hospital, go to get a snack, and the person passes then. It's as if they feel free to go.
Gorgeous, gorgeous kitty. And when you're ready, get another rescue. Just remember, while you mourn, others are being killed for lack of homes. That's why, as sad as I find myself, I always get another. You're not being disloyal--you're saving a life! Tyler would understand.
Thank you for telling us about Tyler and you. Know you're never alone here.
- Sincere condolences, OP. I know how devastating the loss of a pet can be. And that Rainbow Bridge poem makes me weep every time I read it.
[quote]I agree with the posters that say eventually; you'll know when the time is right: it would be great for you to get another cat.
Or, as was the case with my mother, your next cat will suddenly and magically arrive in your life and choose you.
We had to put her beloved cat down two months ago (aggressive and untreatable cancer). He was 15 and she was absolutely crushed by the loss. At the time, and for a few weeks afterward, she said she never wanted to experience that kind of grief again, and never wanted another cat. Even being around other people's cats was too sad for her.
Cut to one Saturday morning several weeks later, when she called me and asked if I wanted to go with her to the local shelter to "look at cats." Seemingly out of nowhere, she decided she wanted to rescue a cat and she wanted it to be one who'd been at the shelter for a while.
So, we went in and the volunteers introduced us to a number of perfectly pleasant cats. Then mom noticed one very handsome cat who'd been at the shelter for several months (based on his listed intake date). She asked if we could meet him.
As soon as the volunteer opened his cage door, he hopped out, hopped into lap and purred. And then just... stayed there. "I don't think we can leave without him," said mom.
And that cat has turned out to be the Miracle Cat for her. He settled in immediately and it was like he'd always lived there. He follows her everywhere, wants nothing more than to sit in her lap, and is so ridiculously gentle and affectionate that he's healed the hole left in her heart after her first cat's death.
- It makes sense that a cat, facing death, would choose to check out right before its human's Virgo birthday.
"You'll put the pointy hat on me again over my dead body, Fussy Control Freak Human! and fuck your cake too!"
- R62, your mother suddenly and magically arrived in your life and chose you?
- I'm so sorry, OP. It will take a couple weeks for you to internalize it and move on. In the mean time, don't hold your emotions back. It's good to cry it out.
- I love R63 and my cats!
Regal is the right word, OP. Sorry for the loss of your beautiful cat.
- Sorry to hear it OP. I condole you.
- Sending you love, op.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Tyler was a beauty.
Try to enjoy your birthday.
Will be thinking of you.
- OP if you do decide to adopt another cat someday you have to be able to accept him for who he is and not compare him to Tyler.
I adopted another cat from a shelter a couple of months after Susannah died and he is kind of a dud. He doesn't really like me. He put on a big show at the shelter but now at home mostly ignores me. I'm kind of in awe of him. But his indifference to me makes me miss Susannah even more.
- He lived a long, happy life, be glad for that. And thank you for having a male cat. I'm so sick of the mindless preference for female cats. Male kittens are the last chosen so there's probably more of them put to sleep. Ok there definitely is, I just don't like to think about that. They are just the same as female cats after you get them fixed. After I found out about the female cat preference, and now notice how prevalent is it, it's all male cats for me the rest of my life.
- R70, I volunteer with shelter cats and have never noticed a preference for female cats. Of course everyone comes in with their own preferences but overall, I've never had the impression females were wanted more than males. If anything it would be in slight favor of males. For whatever reason, my Petsmart store (they partner with a private shelter) goes through spells where we get a lot of girls and people who want a boy have to go elsewhere.
I really want a boy but I've already got a pair of sisters and there's no way I can provide a good life for 3 cats in a small one bedroom apartment. Volunteering with the shelter cats, I have to say, I've across some incredibly sweet and cool male cats. Thank christ I've been able to suppress the feline hoarder syndrome in me and haven't adopted any of them. They all ended up being adopted which made me happy of course, though a tiny part of me wishes I had taken them home instead.
- Over the years I've had 3 females and one male cat. By far the male had much more personality. He was more vocal and way more sociable than my 3 girls. In fact he was often more like a dog insofar as running TOWARDS the door when the doorbell rang where the girls ran AWAY to hide.
- I'm so sorry for your loss, OP. My sweet little kitty died at 20 a couple of months ago, and the grief and pain is as strong as for any human death I've experienced, if not more.
If God exists, I'm going to give him a fucking earful over not giving dogs and cats human-length lifespans.
- love to you. You helped your cat move one step closer. Celebrate that today on your birthday!
- [quote]the grief and pain is as strong as for any human death I've experienced, if not more.
I cried more (much more) when my cat died than when either of my parents passed away. It surprised me, but I think it has something to do with being a pet's guardian, and being responsible for their well-being.
- R64, because I appreciate good grammar and understand your snark, please allow me to amend my offending sentence thusly:
Or, as was the case with my mother and her new cat, your next cat will suddenly and magically arrive in your life and choose you.
- I had to have my cat put to sleep about 6 months ago. He had started having seizures early in the week and the vet thought he had it under control, but after about five days, I came home from work and could tell he had had another seizure. As soon as I came home, he went immediately into his carrier and I took him to the emergency vet. In less than an hour he had another huge one and the vet and I agreed it was the best choice to put him to sleep.
I am so glad I didn't have to find him dead...I truly believe he waited for me to get home. It still haunts me that he was in pain while I was gone and was wondering where I was. I had him for 10 years. I had gotten him with my ex and got him in the split. He was my buddy. I miss him everyday and even have dreams about him.
Sorry for your loss.
- Thanks so much everyone. The mortuary just picked Tyler up, I'm going to have him cremated privately. I live in an apartment, so I don't have a nice yard to bury him in. At least this way, he'll always be close no matter where I go.
I do have another cat who is 8 (adopted feral) and she definitely knows what happened. She kept a distance when I was sitting with him last night, normally she'd be all over me. I had him covered in a blanket this morning and she laid next to it. Ever since he was picked up, she's been lying at the front door.
I'm sure I will adopt another kitty but just need time. I've turned down invites to go out today because my eyes are swollen and I keep breaking down- being in public is just not gonna happen. I can celebrate my birthday next year, today I'm going to grieve and celebrate Tyler.
- I can only imagine your loss. I have a loved kitten, not really a kitten as she's 8 years old, and she has small cell lymphoma. I have to give her med every morning and I know she will have a shortened life. You were so lucky to have Tyler for 12 years. He must have been a very happy fellow to have lasted that many years. All pets are heart breakers as they have relatively short lives compared to ours.
Be well my friend and take heart in the fact your good care provided Tyler with lengthy happy life.
- So sorry for your loss. Bill, I'm glad Jane is still with you.
- Grief is the price we pay for love.
- "I'm just waiting for some anti-pet troll to come laugh at me..."
Is this why you posted the thread, OP? Some kind of masochism?
Or is it just a fake post to stir up shit?
- He had a hot furry ass, but I guess he couldn't live forever.
- Aw, what was it? Suicide?
- Nothing Gold Can Stay
by Robert Frost\t
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
- Cat probably died of boredom.
- Aww, I'm so sorry, OP. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. Your cat was so lucky to have someone who loved him so much.
- I'm truly sorry about Tyler, OP. Any human being with feelings who has experienced the loss of a cat or dog will identify with your grief. I know you are kicking yourself for not noticing Tyler when you got home, but his sigh when you picked him up means that he wasn't gone yet. He was waiting for you. And he died in your arms. In the end, is there any greater blessing than to die in the arms of the one who loved you so dearly.
OP, you gave Tyler the life he never would have had otherwise. Someday, but maybe not right now, that will give you much comfort.
- What a crock of cat shit.
- My husband is the dog/cat person. We have 2 of each. The youngest one is 12, The oldest dog and cat are both 17. One cat is diabetic, weighs 32 pounds, and is too fat now to roll over on his own. He also gets insulin every 12 hours.
All they do is sleep. I'm expecting the oldest 2 to go very soon. My husband is going to be sad when it happens. I will be sad for his loss. And relieved.
- I'm terribly and genuinely sorry for you, OP. You have to have a pet to know the loss. I do feel for you.
- [quote]Grief is the price we pay for love.
I wish people would stop stealing my line. That speech was written for ME!
- You were a good parent. Remember that.
- Excuse me, OP, but I've got my own problems.
- [R89], was your comment intended to rub salt into the wound of someone who is obviously hurting?
If not, why don't you be a mensch and apologize.
- OP, there's another Tyler out there who needs you. Go find him.
- OP, I'm so sorry! I had to put my cat to sleep in July. He was 21. It was obviously the right thing to do as his kidneys were failing. But I had secretly hoped that he would pass naturally, peacefully and without me having to make that decision. I had to euthanize my other cat last year when he developed a fast-growing tumor in his throat. He was 19. It was traumatic in both instances because I was the one who had to decide that their lives were at an end.
You were lucky to have a longtime friend who lived a good life and died peacefully in his sleep. I know it hurts. But I also know the pain lessens with time. And one day, you will feel like giving a good home to another kitty who needs you.
- Can someone start a new thread on adopting an animal after a beloved pet dies? TIA
- Cats are generally a bunch of furry salopes
- My cats name was Miss Sissy Boodles and I send my deepest regrets on your pets passing.
- Miss Sissy Boodles sounds like she was a real salope when she was alive
- We can all just hope Jacqueline Smith does not see this thread.
- This thread is making me HORNY as hell!!!!!!!
- I saw a sad sight today. I pulled up to Family Dollar and saw a tiger-striped cat sitting in the shade of a tree. He looked bewildered and lost. I got the feeling he had been dumped there, and remembered reading something about people getting rid of their pets due to the economy (shelters are packed to capacity). When I came back out he was still there, with an expression that seemed to say, "What now?"
I have 3 of my own that are all rescues from the street, and I hugged them when I got home.
- I'm sorry, OP. Tyler was a beautiful boy.
- Your Tyler was a beautiful and well-loved cat. Focus on the many good years you had together, and remember to show his little sister a lot of affection now because she, too, is grieving.
- I am sorry about your Kitty and he is beautiful. You will see him again someday. I can tell by looking at him he was a happy cat and you took really good care of him. Someday you may be ready to get a new cat friend because you obviously have a lot of love for your kitties. Spend extra time with your other cat because they grieve too.
And that stupid Rainbow Bridge poem makes me cry too but I was already bawling my ass off for you.
- [quote]I just pet him this morning on my way out to work and he was fine.
What happened to him during the day? : (
Did his heart just stop of old age?
- Op, I know exactly how you feel, it's very heartbreaking to lose your little friend. Your cat lived a full and happy life with you... if only animals could live longer.
To the poster who wrote "The Rainbow Bridge"...thank you, that poem made me cry. It reminded me of the day that I lost my Persian cat of 17 years on the day Princess Diana died.
Bless your little cat, Op.
- Here, OP, get this. Waste not want not.
- OP, I hope you bury him in a nice ceremony. : )
- But the cat came back the very next day
The cat came back
I thought he was a gonner
But the cat came back
He just wouldn't stay away....
- [quote]though he would probably hiss at the word 'owner' or maybe politely pretend it's not the other way round as most cats do
I suspect cats consider us their butlers.
- This thread must have been on my mind because I dreamt Susannah came back to me. It was wonderful to see and hold her again but I woke up crying.
- Sorry for your loss op. hugs for Tyler
I had never read the rainbow bridge poem just heard bout it. Yes, I cried.
- Day 2, still crying and it's not any easier. I've got all day today to pull myself together before I go back to work tomorrow.
Today would have been our 12th adoption anniversary. I remember the day I got him. I went to an animal shelter and had initially wanted to get a small kitten. There was a young one there that I was fond of, but he had just been dropped off within the week & they had a rule that animals had to be left there 2 weeks without an owner claiming them before they were up for adoption. Disappointed, I walked around and saw a 5 year old grey cat locked up behind bars and that he'd been there since August. I read his name on the sign, Tyler, and he meowed. I asked if I could hold him, so the attendant opened the cage for me. As soon as I picked him up, he started purring and I knew that I had to take him home.
He was so scared when I let him out of the carrying case and immediately ran under a chair. Soon, he warmed up, but he never lost that fear of humans. He was the most frightened whenever I got the broom out to sweep the kitchen, which made me think the person who dropped him off at the shelter hit him. He rarely ever sat in my lap, but sometimes I'd pick him up & force him to snuggle.. which made him purr.
I was hoping today would be better but the anniversary stuff is making it tough. I won't get his ashes back for about 10 days and I've already decided whenever I go, I want him to be buried with me.
- You're boring us all now OP.
- Wow, OP. You sound really, really...pathetic.
I mean, soz for your loss and all, but honey? It's a cat. Get over it. Who the fuck sits NEXT TO A DEAD THING FOR TWO DAYS AND SLEEPS WITH IT NEXT TO YOUR BED??
God, you MUST be single.
- He was picked up by the pet mortuary yesterday morning.
- Are you going to have him stuffed?
- You just know there are people out there who zero in on a thread like this so they can spread their bile all over and make others look at it. You're all pathetic.
- I know, [R122]. I can't help it.
- I think taking the day off would be appropriate, if you can.
When one of my cats died last year I had to go to work the next morning. But almost as I was leaving, I finally let go and started crying. Not just a tear, but that convulsive blubbering that just overtakes you in times of great sorrow and stress. He was my little boy and he was gone, but I had to go to work feeling all yucky and sad.
- Well considering the fact that there are people who live with their dead loved ones, sleep next to them, watch TV with them and I'm not sure that the OP's cat even died and he just wanted to do this whole "slept with my dead cat" routine because this kind of thing occurs.
- Write a letter to kitty telling him you miss him, everything he meant to you, and thanking him for being a great friend. If you have a pic of kitty, put the letter behind the picture frame.
Sorry for your loss.
- What's creepy to me is sadistic posters who kick others while they're down.
OP is clearly grieving and upset and if someone finds it annoying then why not just move along instead of going to the effort of posting a ridiculing email. WTF?
There is definitely a dark side to DL that I can't stand. I guess some roaches do come out in daylight after all.
(Yea, I know, Mary!)
- When my cat died, someone sent the linked poem to me. Like the Rainbow Bridge, it makes me cry every time I read it (which isn't often, but I read it again just now when I found the link... and cried!).
- Sorry, OP. Hope you get a real hug.
- When I had to have my first cat Hobbes put down, the vet gave me a card with this printed on the inside.
nor speak of me with tears,
but laugh and talk of me
as if I were beside you
I loved you so--
'twas heaven here with you.
----Isla Paschal Richardson
Take care OP
- beautiful R128. It made me tear up too.
- HI I can sympathize with OP, my bad black evil tempered 19 year old toothless monster cat is not doing well. He tries to run outside and pull a "John McCain-GET OFF MY LAWN" and fights with any cat or dog he sees. He is a monster but he is MY monster. I am concerned that when I finally have to bring him to the vet, he is so horrendous to deal with (they have to trank him) that if he does have to be put down for his various problems, I worry about him dying in fright and pain. My sympathies on your loss OP
- r132 - It sounds like your monster has still got plenty of spirit left in him. Down the road, keep in mind some vets are licensed to do house calls.
- R30, that was beautiful, but here's the full poem by Isla Paschal Richardson:
If I should ever leave you whom I love
To go along the Silent Way,
Nor speak of me with tears,
But laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you there.
(I'd come—I'd come, could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief be barriers?)
And when you hear a song
Or see a bird I loved,
Please do not let the thought of me be sad...
For I am loving you just as I always have...
You were so good to me!
There are so many things I wanted still to do—
So many things to say to you...
Remember that I did not fear...
It was Just leaving you that was so hard to face...
We cannot see Beyond...
But this I know:
I love you so—
'twas heaven here with you!
- 128,130,134 you are making me cry serious tears
- Thank you R134.
- Thank you 133, I will check into that!
- Thanks to 133, and as to the poem, my monster cat has seen many birds he loved
- You thought that poem made you cry . . .
- R132, there are a number of services (in major cities at least) where vets or vet techs can come to your home and put your kitty to sleep there so they don't have to go through their last moments in terror, in a car, in a sterile, unfamiliar place.
They can be at home in your arms when they pass. That's the humane thing to do for your pet if they need to be put to sleep.
OP, I lost my 12 year-old cat in July. She got sick rather fast and went downhill but would hang on and have great days. Then one day I went to the store, came home and couldn't find her anywhere. I turned my apartment upside down. 2 days later I found her, she'd managed to squeeze behind a dresser she had no way to get behind but she did. She went off to be alone and die and knew I could find her anywhere else.
- You guys are turning me into a crying Mary with all these poems and videos. 😪
- R140, 2 whole days to find her? Did her body smell at that point? I'm sorry for your loss.
- [quote]2 days later I found her, she'd managed to squeeze behind a dresser she had no way to get behind but she did. She went off to be alone and die and knew I could find her anywhere else.
That's sad. A month ago I had to take my cat in because she was vomiting non stop. She was severely constipated. The ER vet gave her an enema that didn't work, then her regular vet gave her two more the next morning which did the trick. She was cramping and in a lot of pain and she recuperated in a corner of my bedroom that I didn't know she was aware of. I didn't try to coax her out because she was doing what she had to until she felt better.
I will NEVER use clay litter again.
- I started feeding a ferrel tuxedo cat (Felix) six years ago. The neighbors said he'd been around for a while before I arrived.
Two years ago I noticed he was getting stiff in the legs so I fixed him a space in the garage - removing two slats of glass and setting up a box with fleece. He'd peek his head out like the Frenchman in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
Last Christmas he began showing up with a gray kitten. I assumed it was a female; he let the kitten eat first as if he was treating her to dinner in return for some freaky sexy time.
This June Felix stopped showing up for breakfast and dinner. The gray kitten stayed. It's big enough to where you can see his balls.
It's as if Felix bequeathed his mushy food spot to some poor defenseless kid before passing.
- Big hugs. Can relate. Our dog died in April and my birthday was the next week. Had a shitty and appropriate birthday; it even rained which isn't that common in So Cal in April. I woke the next day and decided it was time to contact rescues. A few weeks later we are the happy owners of two new dogs.
Soon you will give another pet the same great life you gave the last one.
- It's a survival instinct for cats to hide away when they're ill. Out in wild, they would have been easier to attack if their predators knew they were sick. So it's natural for them to go or hide away when they're near death. As cat owners, it's difficult for us to understand or accept it since we want to help them.
- I had to stop reading the Rainbow Bridge poem because I would always end up a blubbering mess...and angry at myself since I don't bloody believe in heaven or an afterlife.
- r143, what does clay litter have to do with your cat's illness?
Hope today is a little easier, OP.
- A couple of months before she passed away from pancreatic cancer, my kitty started eating the clay litter, and we were worried about it forming a ball in her stomach. Replaced it with the blue crystal litter, only she tried to eat that too. Eventually we just tore up newspaper strips and put them in her box.
Eating litter can be a sign of a very serious problem in cats. This was the first and only symptom we had of her illness, almost until the very end.
- Eating clay litter is also a symptom of severe anemia. It doesn't cause an illness but if you notice the cat eating litter or find litter stuck to his nose or mouth, call the vet stat.
- She never ate litter. There's a school of thought that a cat's constant exposure to clay litter and clay dust has an adverse effect but it builds up over time. They inhale the dust and clean it off their fur. I had found out about this a month or so before she got sick but never thought it'd happen to her.
The vet said the fecal matter she passed was very solid and was enormous. I'm certain it was an accumulation of clay. She was vomiting because she was so constipated.
- I've definitely seen cat romances. Two of mine took a shine to each other, probably not knowing they were half brother and sister. They frolicked gently and slept in the same chair together.
A couple strays did the same thing on the wicker couch on the back porch. An older orange guy (not neutered) and a little calico girl with a tiny meow, blue eyes and a tongue which protruded slightly. He always liked to watch her eat.
One day she seemed to get a respiratory infection, got real bad... and disappeared.
- [quote] It's a survival instinct for cats to hide away when they're ill.
I've read that when animals run away to die it's because they are experiencing pain and - not having the wherewithal to discern the source of their discomfort - are fleeing from what they perceive to be an external source of their pain.
- Have you stuffed your pussy yet, OP? If you stuff it with something hard the memories will last. You could also get a professional to stuff your pussy.
- R139 you made me cry
- Op here. Had a few people at work asking how my morning was and it was tough but I was ok. I've decided I will get another cat but am just waiting until the right time. My other cat seems very withdrawn but I am giving her lots of hugs. I at least have gotten out of my crying stage.
- Christ, these are the threads that let you know it's a miracle more people don't get lost on their way home from PetsMart.
Please post more frequently about your condition, OP. Hourly check-ins aren't nearly enough for those of us charting your status via scrap-booking.
- My cat is dying right now and it reminded me of this thread. She hasn't eaten in three days, she won't move from where she's at, won't purr, and her breathing is very slow and shallow. She's cold to the touch too :( She doesn't seem to be in pain though, at least from what I can tell. She's been a great cat...we've had her since 1996 when she just showed up at our door. We've been expecting this day to come for some time now, but this is a lot sadder than I'd envisioned it being. I'm going to miss hearing the sound of her claws tapping across the wooden floors.
- R158 All this maudlin sentimentality and yet I understand perfectly. I got my cat in '95 and he died earlier this year. 17 years old. It's a good long life for a cat. Doesn't make it easier to watch 'em go. Are you going to take her to a vet? My vet came out and put my cat to sleep right in his favorite spot in my house. I suggest that as the way to go. Especially if you have an inkling the cat is suffering.
- If the cat isn't eating and showing no spark, it's probably time to put her down. Cats don't usually show pain. Call your vet.
(Sorry in advance for your loss -- I've been there several times.)
- sorry r158. It will be a year in January since I lost my 20-year old cat. Her kidneys shut down (and she went the same way as you describe your cat now). She was like that for a night and died at about 8 am, before the vet could get there.
- I'm sorry to hear of your little one saying goodbye, R158. It sounds like she's had a long, happy life.
I am actually the OP of this thread, so I was surprised to see it bumped this morning. I ended up adopting a shelter kitten who was nearly put down on the spot because her litter came in with respiratory infections. They were taken in by a foster who thought they deserved a chance and all 5 were adopted. I'm happy I adopted her because she risked having to be sent back to the shelter, per the shelter's policy, where she likely would have been put down. She's 8 months old now and an absolute hellion, but I'm so happy to have her. Tyler's closed door was her open window.
Give yourself some time to grieve and consider adopting again if you can. You can make a big difference in another kitty's life forever.
- I am crying because I understand completely. I love my two cats more than anything else. Anything......
- Sweet people, love can't die, even when sometimes we feel desperate or too lost about it.
I'm sure that your cat and all the cats that passed away are not forever gone.
Death is not the end for your cat and you must not take life as the end of yours. You will recover and you can take care of other cats or animals or whatever you want and need to take care of.
If you want you will have another cat and when time comes again, you will mourn for her/him again, but you will be more rich in your heart by the love you have given to your fuzzy friend.
Pain may seem destructive the first days of your loss, but you will be fine if you do something about it the next days. Work for it.
Nothing is lost.
God...sorry for my preaching tone, it's that i felt your sadness and wanted to say some comforting words. I know it's not easy. Take care, please, all of you who deal with the same situation.
- r158, she's ready to go and she's waiting for you to make that happen. That's harsh, but I've been exactly where you are now and I don't regret for a minute the decision to end her suffering. Her vet was actually a bit impressed with our resolve to end it as quickly as possible, noting that too many pet owners drag out the agony because they find it so hard to say goodbye.
And a month later, we adopted a rescue cat who turned out to be quite the entertaining little clown who helped us get over our sadness.
They all die on you, but you should remember the wonderful life you gave them while you had them.
- The pet mortuary? Why didn't you call 911 first?
- All this over a cat?!? Seriously?
- So sorry for your loss. My last cat died at 17. I had her since she was a kitten. So sweet and smart. That was in 2001. I had four cats and they all died of old age. Couldn't bring myself to get another one. Perhaps when I finally move out of New York and into a house. Some people don't realize you can't just replace a beloved pet like it was an old tv or appliance. I think it's sweet that you are going to let it sleep by your bed one more time. Ignore the snarky posts and remember that most of the people posting here are wishing you the best.
- Me too, R163, me too.
You will be fine sooner or later and you will purr like a cat at some certain moments if you give yourself the chance to recover and put your heart into something else again.
It's worth it.
You have your feelings of love to protect you, not to harm you.
- ((hugs)) OP
I can only imagine your sadness. I wish you a speedy adjustment. I doubt there's a true recovery.
I wish you only the very best in future.
I love my "kitten" way more than I should. She takes the place of human contact since I am old and excluded from contact with others. She's 9 and has small cell lymphoma so I watch her far too closely for her approval. When she dies, I die.
- So very sorry, OP. Good Karma on you for adopting him 12 years ago. Wait a few weeks and then look into adopting another - it will honor his memory and you'll feel better.
- Oh, OP, I am so sorry. Cats and dogs are such good souls and companions. When one of my two cats died some years back from feline leukemia I made the mistake of going into work the next morning. I looked so stricken the first person who saw asked, "What happened???" And then the floodgates opened. . .
- Feral cats live short, miserable lives full of pain and hunger.
You gave a cat a good home for many years. He loved you for your sacrifice (cat hair, poop, etc).
- Overseas Telegram...
- Hi, OP. Remember your cat?
- So sorry for your loss OP. Big hugs.
- My thoughts are with you, your cat had a great life and all the better for you... Think of the happy times.
- Sorry, OP. I know how you feel. Lost my Persian cat of 17 years on the day that Princess Diana died.
- That was nice, r170.
- We had to euthanize our cat of 18 years last night. She came into our lives and has been part of our small family since the time we met. She was sweet and beautiful. I can't stand this grief, I don't know what to do. It comes in waves and is devastating, and it feels like nothing will heal it.
- Awww, I'm so sorry R183. That's such a hard thing to go through. Last year, I lost my two dogs within three months of each other. It was devastating but it gets better. Hang in there. Maybe eventually you'll feel like getting a new little fur ball. My mam just got two new pups and they are a joy to be with. xoxo
- Thank you Ciaran, that meant a lot to me.
- I so know how you feel OP. It just breaks my heart to know you are going through this. This sounds so mawkishly cliche'd, but remember how much you loved each other and what a great life you had together. Your heart will still ache, but the day will come that you can actually smile and even laugh remembering the good times.
I have been in your place twice. My kitty Nas is now 13 which, while not ancient, is well within the range of conceivable end of life span. I am at the point where every time I look at her next to me I am thinking about the inevitable, so I just give her a big kiss and thank the universe(I'm an atheist) that we are together for now. Take care of yourself.
- Rainbow Bridge crossing!
- R183 I know it seems impossible, but does get better with time. Last July, I had to put down my 12 year old German Shepherd. I am a cancer survivor and that dog was an incredible part of my recovery. She never left my side when I was recovering at home, would go on (slow) walks with me when I was able to start moving. I relied on her so much I would consider her to have been a service dog. I knew the time was coming and we got another GSD puppy about a month before we had to put my big girl down.
The little one will never be able to replace my big girl, but it does help so much to have another set of paws running around the house. When I was at my absolute lows over losing my big girl, the little one would come tearing through the house with a piece of tape stuck on her foot or something equally crazy that would make me laugh.
My other coping mechanism was to find something in the house that really belonged to my big girl - in this case her favourite kong. I put it away on a shelf in the closet so I still feel like I have a wee piece of her still here. I know it is corny.
Hang in there.
- I posted back in September about my bad black monster of a cat. The vet had given him 2 weeks. He lasted (with much spoiling-bacon, babyfood and medical marijuana-catnip) til February. I did bring him in then as he started bleeding from the mouth. I tranked him as I wanted him to have a peaceful end but he did it his own way- clawing a small boy's hand thru his cat cage, snarling and scaring a bunch of pugs and rising up from the cat carrier to bite the assistant (with his three teeth). Then he tried to do the same to the vet. He did purr when they gave him the sleepy shot and died in my arms. My partner (the man who hates cats) buried him in the back yard with a little head stone and catnip and his squeaky mouse toy. I am thinking about adopting 2 kittens now
- Death of pets is much worse than relatives dying. Sorry, that's how it is for most. Animals give unconditional love, humans do not!!
- my kitty died Sunday. I am heartbroken. I found him when he was two weeks old, and I bottlefed him...some people say this makes a cat mean but this cat was the loviest kitty on earth...so sweet and affectionate like a puppy. I woke up in a sweat tonight and I just knew there would be a dead cat thread somewhere...I cannot tell you how sad I am for you, OP and for all the people who posted about their lost pets. I am still in the sobbing stage, and when the sun comes up it will be the first morning when I know he's never coming back. He was 13, and he had lymphoma. He didnt make it though the night after surgery. We've been through so much together.
The hardest part is seeing his bed and his box, his dish, thinking I hear him tiptoeing around...I'm so sad I can't believe it.
Thank you to all the people who've written comforting words on this thread. Somehow it just helps knowing there are so many people who loved their kitties like I loved mine. He was such a unique, smart little guy. I'll miss him forever.
- We had to put our dog to sleep last week. He was 13, but we adopted him at age 12. His previous owners claimed they had allergies and tossed him in a kill shelter--really, allergies after 12 years? He had major trust issues and eventually learned to love and trust us (it took time; he only let me pick him for the first time about two months ago) He grew to be very protective of us. He had such a vibrant personality. Even though we only had him for a year, we miss him like crazy. Everyone keeps reminding me that we did a great thing to adopt an older dog, and that he was lucky to have us for the last year of his life, but still...we miss him being with us. We have another dog who is 14 who we adopted as a puppy, and she's been moping around very confused. Very sad to lose a pet :-(
- I'm sorry OP :-( I loved my cat very much and still miss her, years after she died.
- Reading this thread through tears..
- A good song for when a pet dies (written by Karla Bonoff when her cat, Casey, died.
- Hugs to you all. Things become easier with time and soon you'll smile when you think of all the wonderful memories you shared with your fuzzy little one. Loss is never easy.
I used my grief to adopt another kitty and provide a home for a little one who otherwise would have been put to sleep. I now smile every day when I see her and I know it's mutual. Even though my old furry grey man is gone, he will never be forgotten.
- OP, I'm so sorry. A similar thing happened to me years ago.
I was arranging for an orgy at my house with people I had met online and 10 minutes before they started arriving I found that my old cat had died, just like that! I had to wrap her in a towel and put her in the closet until the party was over.
- What do you do when nobody understands your grief over the death of a teenage pet? Your guilt? I am here and so lost, terrified I did the wrong thing, devastated over the loss of a best friend and alone with no support... just some patronizing "she lived a long time, it is time to get over it, it was meant to be this way" bullshit; I am now actively avoiding human contact as much as I possibly can in order to minimize my exposure to it.
- How many people have you had an actual day-to-day relationship with? Seventeen years makes him one of the longest relationships of your life, so well done for giving him a safe and happy home to grow old in. There is no happy end to loving anyone, but the love eventually dissolves the pain.
My cat Milo is snoring next to me,so I have to send a hug only on my behalf.
- Oh R199! :)
- I lost two pugs a few years ago. The first was 15 and died in his sleep. He was my baby. My second was a rescue and I thought he was dying and rushed to one of those emergency vets. They said he had bloat and it would cost $400 to put him down. I didn't have $400 so brought him home, realized I'd fed him that fake hamburger and that he had gas. Ran to the drug store, got Gas X. He recovered and lived another 5 years, again at 15.
Now I have two calico rescue cats I adore. Never cared for cats but things change.
- Taxidermy is my hobby. I make him live forever on your fireplace mantle and all you have to do is pay for supplies.
He'd like it up there.
- J'adore R60.
- Just a suggestion:
- R199 I appreciate the sympathy but platitudes are exactly what are not helping. You will see when you get here, if you ever do, that it is a cold comfort. My cat did not die in her sleep, and it wasn't expected. She was fine one minute and the next not, and now I see so many things I need answers to and/or would do differently.
And now I have one particular family friend who will not stop calling me twice a day to talk about it, despite my ignoring all of her calls. Jesus.
- OP, I'm sorry for your loss. One thing to remember is that animals don't go around thinking of dying and death, so they don't fear it as humans do.
He had his morning routine and you said goodbye to him as usual. Then he went about his normal cat business, curled up to sleep and just slipped away in peace. He wasn't sad, even though you are. Don't feel bad about him being alone. He was content, and probably dreaming of you and him spending a relaxing evening together.
I know many Dataloungers roll their eyes at the rainbow bridge, but it's a sweet idea and to think of you both being reunited again, so even if it might be cheesy, if it gives you some comfort, that's all that matters.
- So sorry OP.
- R205 I posted earlier on this thread, I lost my 13 year old cat in June. I know people don't understand - unless they've been through it, but try to accept their feeble attempts at comforting you as nice gestures.
It did help me very very much to talk to the vet in detail about everything, so I understood exactly what happened. I hope you can do that.
Also, this is TOTALLY an individual thing - the timing is very personal - but I went to a shelter three days later just to see how I felt, and this little guy glommed onto me and I brought him home. I explained to him what was going on, and I told him I needed some time but that I would love him as much someday, and as nutty as it sounds he seemed to understand. He follows me all around the house, cuddles up to me, makes me laugh, and he's helped me get through these last few months.
I still cry over my precious little guy...he was extraordinary and we went through hell and back together...but my new kitty is always right there as if to say "It's okay - life goes on. He'd be there if he could, but he can't, so you have to go on." I also felt like my precious kitty would want me to give another rescue the LUXE life I gave him.
It turned out to be the best decision I could make, because I was so devastated my friends were actually worried about me, and now I'm fine - still sad and will be probably forever but I'm fine.
- HI, I had posted twice about my bad black monster cat who died in February. I have since adopted 2 kittens, Django and Silhouette. We did think about calling them Bill and Hilary as he is all about the joy and loves everyone and she is more than a tad reserved. I totally recommend getting two as they keep each other amused, no that we let them be alone very often
- *watches carefully R205 and waits for a nice gesture.
- By all rights, this thread should be as dead as OP's cat. Please stop reviving it.
- Beautiful Tabby in that photo.
- I'm sorry, OP. I love my cat and I would be devastated too if I were you.
- If you love me let me know
- You are so cute, R214.