Married to Jonas, new reality show starring the married Jonas and his NJ wife!

Sorry to be rude, but the NOSES on the Jonas brother wife, her two sisters, and her brother! The oldest sister and the Jonas brother wife have obviously had major nose jobs~! But the youngest sister, a high school senior, has a dramatically LARGE and WIDE nose. It is a nose like no other! And the wife's brother has an ENORMOUS NOSE. And from the side he looks quite strange. Jonas brother's wife from the side has a very unusual profile with a huge protruding nose - even tho it's obvious she had a nose job to narrow the nose. The show is funny to watch.

• it means his wife has a big cock.....

• Really trying to hold on to their last min of fame, aren't they?

• I haven't yet seen the show, but I would assume its most fascinating aspect is the fact that it's an arranged beard marriage between a gay Jonas brother and a known fangurl who was nothing greater than a hairdresser before the Jonas parents recruited her to be Kevin's beard.

• Don't be crude. His name is not "The married Jonas." His name is the "ugly one."

  Joe%20Jonas

• Did you see the episode where Kevin asks Joe if he'd have the anal with Zac Efron and Joe says "ew he's into piss and shit, did you see his wet, skidmarked underwear?"

• I have only seen commercials for this, but the married Jonas seems to be gayer than gay. And he can't seem to kiss his wife without looking directly into a camera.

• where are you seeing dramatically large noses on the siblings? Your concept of a large nose is demented, and you are not allowing for ethnic variation. The family is partly or fully Italian and not WASP from northern Europe.

• So have we seen the married Jonas' bf yet?

• He's gay and still doesn't know it yet.

• They are a nice family. Her family is nice, his family is nice. It won't get a second season. Nice doesn't cut in "reality" TV.

• Of course he knows he's gay, r9. That's why he and his wife don't sleep together. They each have their own bedroom. "He snores" is the reason they give.

• I'd watch it if they changed the title to "Married to the Gay Jonas"

  Own%20it%2C%20bitch.

• I caught an episode last night - she comes of as slow, and i mean that literally - she is slow in how she speaks. He - he comes off as a cute, sweet ,and definitely gay. I loved how he told the guy that came to take his sister-in-law (?) to the prom that he smelled good. And I loved when his wife dressed up in the pretty prom dress to give him a prom he never had, his words .. "look at that DRESS!". He's adorable - but the show does seem very staged in many places (I know they all are, but they don't have the skills yet to make it seem natural), and i can't see it lasting beyond the first season. But you know I'm going to watch it again ...

• r12 r8 Stop it. My brother shall be referred to only as "the ugly Jonas"

  Nick%20Jonas

• .

• I was acquainted with the Jonas family back in NJ, pre-fame. Never would've guessed things would turn out for them the way have so far.

  I%20hope%20there%27s%20no%20more%20after%20this.

• Joe spreads open his ass cheeks and has Kevin shaves his black hairy hole

• The show is only worth watching if Kevin's phat ass is on display all the time.

• She seems like a smart, practical beard. Instead of just a payoff check, she gets exposure that will lead at a minimum to some minimal celebrity. If all goes well it might lead to an acting role. She's a dead ringer for Haylie Duff and has that cute/likeable look, so if that girl is cute enough for acting, so's this one.

• Exactly what R18 said. I have it bad for Kevin's huge ass - I only watch the show for that butt.

• R10, the ratings for MARRIED TO JONAS are good so far.

• Do they pretend that they sleep in the same room?

• Kevin reminds me of every middle-class white gay in my generation. Also, Kevin's friend Cavanaugh is his gay lover. The churchiness of this show amuses me. So much bullshit, so little science and logic...

  Twentysomething

• [quote]Did you see the episode where Kevin asks Joe if he'd have the anal with Zac Efron and Joe says "ew he's into piss and shit, did you see his wet, skidmarked underwear?" Ewwww, that is nasty!

• Kevin is cute as a button, so is his beard. However, I don't know if this relationship is going to last any longer with that family of hers.

• His mom is an epic bitch. Does anyone else get the feeling that Nick really hates Kevin? Nick treats him with disdain, and Kevin seems desperate for affirmation.

• I can't follow some of the storylines - like when he says they have to tour and she says she doesn't want her babies on the road and breaks down. She isn't even pregnant? How long can the Jonas brothers actually tour nowadays? They're not doing the 3 year Cher tour. He seems awfully eager about everything. There's just something not right. I love how he says he didn't feel bad about missing his prom because "I was in Europe opening for Avril Lavigne!" and looks at the camera with a umm-hmmm. You KNOW his first take included an S-shaped finger snap, but they had to reshoot.

• I think Nick wants his brother to come out, and stop with the bearding on national TV.

• It is a cute show, and Kevin does have personality. But, I couldn't deal with her father coming in at odd hours of the morning...uninvited. Who was stupid enough to give him the house key?

• Is it just me, or did Kevin look like he wanted to do dirty, dirty things to his sister-in-law's prom date?

• That's not just you, R30. Kevin is so hard-up for gay sex that it's vaguely uncomfortable to watch.

• That wife is brain dead. What a moron. I think you can park a Jetta in her nostril. What a nose job. The blonde sister Dina is pretty and normal. As far as Jonas mother, she needs xanax and Jenny Craig stat. And what kind of fucked up church was that? Please. End it now

• Yes, r30! And, I don't blame Kevin for that.

• Does Kevin have puffy pink nipples? He has the complexion and the build for that.

  Fingers Crossed

• This reminds me of the blind item alleging that Danielle is blackmailing Kevin so she can be a reality famewhore.

  http://blindgossip.com/%3Fp%3D42993

  Free%20Kevin%20%28and%20his%20ass%29%21

• OMG, that does sound like Kevin Jonas! I would hate to be in his shoes. But, that's what you get for hiring a beard.

• Jonas...in the world of assinine, stupid reality TV, Jonas ranks right up there among the stupidest. I was channel surfing the other night, and Jonas' wife was lamenting in her paranoia that she didn't like balloons. The rest oof the cast is equally moronic including Jonas himself and that idiotic father-in-law.

• The father in law is awful, and I couldn't deal with him on a daily basis. However, the wife is paranoid of balloons...like some people are scared of clowns.

• The 'slow' young wife is on some kind of tranquilizer. Valium maybe, I'm not entirely sure but it's certainly one way to numb yourself from the pain of living a lie.

• There have been a ton of blind items in regards to the production of this show. Looks like Danielle is so thirsty for fame she pointed a gun to Kevin's head and said "make me famous or you're outed"

• I like to think that Kevin has such a low self-esteem after years of psychological beatings from his mother, father, and brothers that he would happily bend over for any mildly affectionate guy. He would spread those big cheeks like a Mormon missionary in Montreal.

• I love Kevin AND his huge ass. Saw him recently and he looked a bit trimmer and was looking sexy

• [quote]It is a cute show, and Kevin does have personality. But, I couldn't deal with her father coming in at odd hours of the morning...uninvited. Who was stupid enough to give him the house key? Ahhh the Producers? Kevin wanted the Kelly Ripa gig really bad.

• No one wants to sing or act any longer or do what made you famous or gave you a career in the first place. Once your career is on the decline, it seems the next step is to do a reality TV show. And all those shows are stupid and ridiculous. Did a reality TV show ever revive a star's career? I'm not talking about someone obnoxious like NeNe of the Housewives trash who didn't have a career in the first place. I'm talking about an established celebrity who turned to reality TV...and then came back to some glory or whose career still remained stalled?

• R44 - Anna Nicole, Braxtons, Ozzy Osbourne & Family, Tia & Tamara, Kathy Griffin, Steven Tyler, Paula Abdul Quite a few actually.

• R45. Anna Nicole didn't have much of a career in the first place. Her TV reality show gave her renewed popularity, but it didn't revive her career once the TV show was over. Toni Braxton still doesn't have much of a career. Again, her reality TV show gave her some added popularity, but it's not giving her a renewed singing career. The Osbournes...well, you're partially right on that one...but not for Ozzy who was the star of the family, but surely for the rest of the family who were unknowns--not established celebrities. Tia & Tamara...who? Kathy Griffin did her show as an add-on to an already thriving and hugely successful career--her reality show was not reviving her career it was adding to her series of successful televised comedy specials. Steven Tyler and Paula Abul...yes, their careers were revived, but then again, American Idol is not a reality show like the others who just set up cameras in their house. American Idol is just as much if not more a show about the contestants and the audience--not only the judges. And Idol is a "competition show" more than typical reality TV.

• Danielle doesn't really come across like she's starved for fame. She seems so timid and sedate in front of the camera. It almost looks like she somewhat regrets this marriage because it's become clear you can't exactly marry the gay away no matter how hard Kevin's christian-y family wishes it was so. You can tell her older sister probably knows the deal and seems slightly embarrassed for their family. It's awkward watching Kevin attempt to butch it up. It all comes across as very forced and studied, like he's taken his cues from how to be a straight husband from sitcoms or movies. The entertainment value of this show rests purely on what's not being said or done and the obvious denial everyone is living under in order to keep the charade going. The only ones who look truly happy with the arrangement are Kevin's parents. Sad.

• R10, she's anything BUT nice. Supposedly she's blackmailing Kevin into doing this show, threatening to expose a whole bunch of Jonas secrets. That doesn't sound nice to me. That being said, she is rather equine-looking and talks like she's stoned all the time. It's awful the way she talks to Kevin too.

• [quote]Anna Nicole, Braxtons, Ozzy Osbourne & Family, Tia & Tamara, Kathy Griffin, Steven Tyler, Paula Abdul Happy to report that I never saw one moment of any of these reality shows.

• Kevin's ass is huge.

• His wife is like an even horsier Julia Roberts. He has got to be bearded up, a purse falls out of his mouth every time he speaks.

• I watched an episode and the Jonas family is so restrictive and controlling it's a wonder the sons don't rebel.

• Thanks to you guys I ended up watching the show. Didn't the Danielle say she was on medication against anxiety in the last episode, and that she wasn't sure she would want to have a baby while on it? What kind of drugs make you talk like a horse zombie?

• You talk like a zombie horse if you happen to be a zombie horse.

• She wishes she could talk like me. She talks more like an interstellar void.

  Rafalca%2C%20Dead%20In%20The%20Attic

• Kevin totally wants to fuck his brother-in-law

• The brother in law loves surprise anal.

• When they were in a recording studio his brothers treated him with contempt. I wonder if it's always like that, or are they angry about being dragged into the show

• They are angry about being photographed with him. Nick and Joe think Kevin's fugliness will bring down their looks. Joe is rapidly losing his looks already. Give him another year and he'll be worse than Kevin was. And the fat ass baby Jonas is even worse than Kevin.

• What about me? I have a clothing empire and no one seems to remember I had a singing career!

  Jessica%20Simpson

• Was it Joe who dated Camilla Belle? She looks just like him. A purse falls out of Kevin's mouth every time he talks. Is the wife in on it or is she that dumb?

• His butt is insane!

  http://whatshisbutt.blogspot.com/2011/05/kevin-jonas-butt.html%23more

• I was kind of shocked that they used the black light to show all of Kevin's cum stains on. the carpet.

• I'd fuck the hell out of Joe 24/7 and finger him in public.

• [quote]I have only seen commercials for this, but the married Jonas seems to be gayer than gay. And he can't seem to kiss his wife without looking directly into a camera. I've never seen this, and I'm only vaguely aware of the Jonas Brothers, but I did see a preview of some painful episode where the family goes camping, and Jonas makes Paul Lynde look like Danny Trejo. Is his queenarinaishness part of the joke, or are we meant to take this seriously?

• The way Kevin's wife speaks is so weird - she gratingly drones in a nasal voice and sounds drugged in her slowness of expression. She comes off as rather a drip. And she is way too emotionally dependent upon her family. And she was much better looking just four or five years ago - whatever beauty she has is fading. Her body is great, but her hair and face are waning.

• The nose of Kevin's wife is a huge SKI-JUMP nose similar to Bob Hope'es ski-jump nose. Her ski-jump nose is way way too long though and too pointed upward. It definitely is a nose job. From the side, it makes one gasp. Her younger sister has a very large and wide nose that detracts from her looks.

• Kevin's wife has zero education beyond high school except a few months of 'beauty school' to be a hairdresser. She seems quite dumb. Why would someone so wealthy who travels the world marry such a dumb woman?

• Kevin first met his wife by picking her up at a resort in Mexico where both families were vacationing. Brother Joe spoke to Danielle first, but then Kevin kept talking with her and walking with her on the vacation, and contacted her back in NJ immediately when the vacation was over.

• The wife is on meds and that's why her voice sounds like that. Kevin probably drugs her up before bedtime so he can sneak out.

• beauty school drop out No graduation day for you. Engaged in les love and shampoo....

• When you pick a beard that homely, uneducated and inarticulate, with nothing to lose, you have to pay them for life. Kevin is having a good time pinging for the camera. This might be the greatest thing for ratings.

• Yes, r72, it shows the lack of sophistication or strategic planning on the family's part. They looked for a beard that they thought they could control, who would be indebted to them. But smarter puppet masters know that what you really need is a beard who has as much to lose and therefore has no particular leverage over you. The scienos know how to do this -- e.g., every cruise pairing, will/jada, etc.

  Taylor%20Not%20Too%20Swift

• Has there been any press about his pinging to high heaven? Or any entertainment blogs that address it? I'm really curious how straight women (besides gay men, presumably the only viewers) perceive it, if at all.

• The frauen discuss his closetedness constantly on TWoP, R74. They never mention his huge, musky ass, though - that's how we know they're frauen.

• Kevin's ski nose wife seems borderline retarded. And he's as gay as they come.

• Hey Danielle! Walgreens just phoned. They need their Xanax back.

  anon

• Has he ever had to address gay rumors? If the frauen on TWoP are talking about this, surely the Jonas handlers are picking up on it. And it must be a serious discussion -- aren't the mods crazy and usually squelch this sort of a thing?

• Because of this thread I looked up Kevin Jonas interviews on Youtube. He's so gay! Can't believe, or maybe I can, people don't see it.

• Come on... Kevin is SO obviously gay. Dani just captivated on an opportunity. Come on girls, be honest...most of u would have too. Poor girl is paying for being bought out now. It's a little like Michael Jackson marrying a woman to "prove to the world that he wasn't GAY & a perv!" Just because you are married by law doesn't make u married by heart. Honestly, I feel sorry for BOTH of them for having to live a life that isn't th, just for the media. How sad. God love them.

  Poorbabies

• The blind items did say that a certain aging teen idol was being blackmailed by his wife into doing a reality show so she and her family could become famous. She allegedly threatened to spill the beans on him and his family. It was so obviously teh Jonas gays. His wife has an old-fashioned nose job from the 60s, it's so bad. And her family comes off as a bunch of mooches too, especially the dad and older sister.

• Wow, that does sound like Kevin Jonas and his New Jersey wife!

• [quote]Has he ever had to address gay rumors? If the frauen on TWoP are talking about this, surely the Jonas handlers are picking up on it. They piecked up on it long ago, that was the reason for the bearded marriage.

• Oops! That should be "They picked up on it long ago."

• It's such a weird TV show. What does the rest of the family do apart from planning parties? And Danielle comes across as anxious little girl, it's amazing that she can function in her daily life.

• am sorry but those are some damn fucking big noses wtf.am floored.not judging on physical appearance but E is tripping wth...like get them off tv.yuck.attack me all u want but thats disgusting and Dani Dan whatevs has the ugliest side profile ever.her nose looks like it can pierce one.easily worst nose job ever.am sorry.but fuck this.

  malaika%20

• I need to see this nose... post a PIC already!

• What do we think Kevin's massive ass smells like? Oak and sage? Frankincense and myrrh? Chicken and waffles?

• R88 Joe's cum I would imagine!

• [quote]Kevin probably drugs her up before bedtime so he can sneak out. He doesn't have to sneak out of the bedroom. They don't sleep together. They claim it's because he snores. They each have their own bedroom.

• The show got renewed for another season.

• The little sister's nose is very bad - the one who just had her senior year in high school. Either is in senior year of high school or just graduated.

• Separate bedrooms were not shown on their reality tv show.

• I don't care how big Kevin's ass gets, I am devoted to it.

• [quote]Separate bedrooms were not shown on their reality tv show. Thus they must sleep in the same bedroom now because we know that everything about a reality show is real. Nothing is scripted.

• I watched an episode just to see what it was about, but have to say the Jonas guy does come across as a genuinely nice guy. Lets give him that.

• He comes off as nice and very gay. Very. Very. Gay.

• You're right about that R96. I don't watch reality shows so I've never seen this one, but when they're being interviewed on TV or radio, the three brothers seem to be nice guys.

• Reason enough to watch every episode.

  https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images%3Fq%3Dtbn:ANd9GcRe5eiu9KgleGaZImWrOrQ07YLg915iqY6z5Rw9aPKA8igBm6lqBg

• When rich people have "separate bedrooms" it's not what you think it is. The 1% have huge rooms and on one side will be a semi enclosed room with a bed and the other has a semi enclosed room with a bed. Think of Rob and Laura sleeping a bedroom the size of their whole house. Separate beds yes, but the same room technically.

• He does have a big ass but I have a feeling it probably has some scars on it, either way I'd probably give it a try.

• His ass is big because he's FAT, it's not because he's muscular or has a bubble butt. If he dropped 50 pounds, well he'd still be fat, but most of his ass would be gone. How come it's always the ugly one that is gay? Sigh

• Can the family really be that oblivious to how this guy translates on screen to put him in a reality show where people are supposed to buy this sham?

• FAT butt or not, I wanna ride it.

  http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X3svAcze9jQ/Tdlf0NVPQ0I/AAAAAAAAADk/Du5_ygPXaAo/s1600/Kevin+Jonas.jpg

• I dint know he had gained weight. All of the Jonas brothers have ass galore. They almost have as much ass as the Kardashian's, but Kim and Rob put them in the #1 spot.

• They all have wide girl birthing hips and Kevin is fugly. But did you see Joe lately, Ewwwwwww he's aging bad. He could corner the ugly market, that is when he brother carks it.

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Jonas

• [quote]that is when he brother carks it. Shocking!

• Joe used to be hot. He wanted Zac Efron but Zac is into scat.

• i dont know what planet youre from but they have a family distinctive nose, so what? every family has a characteristic and some noses are s maller and some are large, longer, sloped, etc. Big deal! I do agree that the older sister had a nose job, I saw pix of her before her nose looked this pointy, it appears she had the tip revised to be less thick, and so did Dani. But the younger sister and her brother have normal looking noses to me. A lot of folks have less than tiny noses, I myself happen to think it’s the overall looks and pesonality of a person.

  Vivi

• Will they show him going to his "ex-gay" meetings this time?

• [quote]How come it's always the ugly one that is gay? I beg your pardon.

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• They'll never get another season out of this if they don't get out the turkey baster to get her preggers.

• He is the ugly Jonas & I love that the brothers joke about it:) even though its really not a joke!!!! And so agree with the nose post- def nose job on Dani it's so strange & so not natural. & the young sister just shows proof of what her genes really gave her!

• [quote]He does have a big ass but I have a feeling it probably has some scars on it Yes, from Daddy Jonas' belt. The oldest one always gets it the worst.

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• When does her contract expire for the bearding?

• The most recent one was bizarre. They were filming a music video (see below) but most of the show was about Kevin's diarrhea and him worrying about shitting his pants in front of the crew. Joe referred to Kevin as a drama queen. When Joe and Kevin were "fighting," Nick said, "Now girls, you're both pretty." Very DL. Also, Nick has chopped off all his beautiful hair but Joe appears to be letting his grow back.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DAHitulGaS9k

• They all have mega-asses. Kevin's used to be the biggest, but I think his bros have caught up to him. Also, Kev pings to high heaven and his wife is annoying.

• Kevin is such a prissy bitch! One of those OCD gays who must have everything 'just so'. Joe must have to shave his body everyday because there's no way he's got a hairless body naturally. Nick is the only one who will be a good looking man. I can't figure out which one is fucking Dani's brother. Kevin or Joe.

• The wife acts like she is on heavy medicaton..

• I want Kevin's ass, bad.............

• Dani's nose from the side looks like a very long ski jump in Colorado. A very ridiculous looking ski jump nose. Her plastic surgeon really lacked ability or should have warned her that would be the end result. I'm surprised that all involved wanted Dani in this reality series since she has such an odd drippy persona and comes off poorly in how she speaks in such a nasal monotone and has zero knowledge of anything, no education, and is a failed hair stylist who apparently dropped out of hair styling school. She was quite cute when Kevin met her and fell in love with her during a beach vacation taken by the two families. She quickly morphed into something else quite quickly. The whole thing is odd.

• [quote]She was quite cute when Kevin met her and fell in love with her Yeah! Right! It was love at first sight for that totally straight guy. .

• I should have said she was quite cute when Kevin met her on a beach when the two families were vacationing and decided to make her his beard.

• That's better, R123.

• [quote]I'm surprised that all involved wanted Dani in this reality series She's the one who insisted on the series, as part of her bearding arrangement.

• No link to said noses in the original post?

• I imagine the scenario is similar to the one in the movie HAPPINESS. Kevin slips Dani a roofie and then has wild orgies with Dani's brother and pals. I think Dani's sister insisted on the reality show. Dani doesn't know where she is half of the time, she's so drugged out. Anytime they go anywhere fun, that sister of hers is tagging along. She must be so pissed that her less attractive sister landed a pop star and she's stuck in Jersey.

• His wife looks a lot like the uglier Duff sister - Hailey??

• Yes Hayley Duff, R128 and the wife does bear an unfortunate resemblance to her. Solange Knowles kind of has the same nose too. Kevin doesn't have such a big ass but he sure does have birthing hips.

• [quote]I can't figure out which one is fucking Dani's brother. Kevin or Joe. On the most recent episode, Dani's brother kept making remarks about Joe's sex tape starring him and Joe and how they should have been more careful. Kevin then goes on to describe what a ball gag is but no one bothers, that I heard, to say that it allegedly involved a female. The brother is cute enough that Kevin would consider him a catch. I doubt Joe would. Also, pimping out her brother would be another hook for Dani and her leech family to sink into Kevin.

• Does anyone care about the Jonas Bros in 2013? Haven't the tweens moved on?

• I think it's funny that Dani's brother dresses like Pee-Wee Herman when he's more of a Herman Munster. The family and Kevin all must know Dani's a bit slow. You can tell by the way they coddle her and clap for her when she achieves the simplest things. Maybe she got kicked in the head by a pony or something as a child. And I love that a series on E! consists of five episodes (or was it four?).

• Who watches shows like this?

• Well R133, I only have basic cable, no HBO etc., and you'd be surprised what you'll watch when it's 3 am and you can't sleep. I usually catch The Soup and Chelsea Lately...and can stomach a few of their other shows. This one is pretty innocuous, and Joe and Nick still look fuckable. I draw the line at Kris and her Kunts. Tried to watch Lochte but he's mentally retarded. Were she alive, even Anna Nicole would wonder how Lochte got a show.

• My bf was watching this show and I came in the living room and saw the wife on tv. I said "does she have head trauma? She appears stunned." He said "no she is always like that" lol.

• [quote]Does anyone care about the Jonas Bros in 2013? Well, they have a new song and video but I have no idea whether or not it's a success. I will say that the extra-douchey behavior of Justin Bieber as of late ought to boost their popularity.

• Of the three brothers, Kevin is the most boring. His wife is totally bland. How do shows like this get renewed?

• WHO IS WHO????

  https://s3.amazonaws.com/luuux-original-files/bookmarklet_uploaded/danielle-haylie1.jpg

• Kevin is gay. Joe is bi. Nick is str8.

• Joe is bi? He hasn't seen a pussy since he popped out of his ol' mammy's.

• His wife with the ski nose always sounds like she took too much Valium. Or is she just mentally challenged? He's as gay as Liberace!!