Cthulhu Here

Greetings, subcreatures. As I begin to bloom and revel in R'lyeh, I take notice of the work you, my acolytes, perform on my behalf on this planet. Starting with Syreeta and Billy Preston's 1979 smooth ballad, and now especially with the idle, vile gossip of The DataLounge, I am born again. Sacrifice more of your celebrities to me! Join with my 'spawn', the Almiqui, in harnessing the powers of Anderson Cooper, the very idea of 'Gay-For-Pay', the inverted idiot minds of Arizona, that fat frau-cunt we all work with, and many, many more in bringing about my new, eternal reign!

P.H. Fart-Clove
• I had their song play at my wedding.

• Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

• Verificatia of size meat?

• Verificatia of size meat?

• I think that one gigantic Kardashian, what's her name....Sasquatch Kardashian, is a high priestess of Cthulhu. Or maybe the mom is...it would explain so much!

• Didn't Cartman kill you?

• Trey Parker is a huge Lovecraft fan.

• Dear Cthulhu, Why on earth is a giant, all-devouring vagina looking to a GAY message board for followers? Shouldn't you be at Michfest?

• I have returned, subcreatures! I was meant to make a gruesome appearance at the wedding of Thomas Roberts and Patrick Abner, but I overslept - my friend Dionne W. forgot to wake me. What is this about that fraucow Lisa Whelchel on "Survivor"?

  Cthulhu

• Oh Lord Cthulhu, You may want to check in on High Priestess Warwick. She has a vessel that my serve as a conduit for your return. She is also working with this group of extremely white humans who worship an angel named Macaroni. I suspect they are all agents of Cthugha, or Hastur. In any case, they could stand to be visiting by the Creeping Horror, or perhaps an arcane curse that turns their flesh to stone?

  Ithaqua