Why bother? It tends to look laughably bad when guys continue to color their hair, despite the deep wrinkles carved into their face. Maybe it's sexist, but men and women weren't created equal when it comes to pulling off dyed hair. And with guys, the darker the dye-job, the funnier the results.
Are any of you guilty?
OP, I'm over 40 but my hair isn't yet graying, so I'm not guilty. That said, I have no problem with dyeing my hair once that happens. There's a right way and wrong way to do it, and I agree with you that much older men with completely brown or black hair, with zero gray, look pretty ridiculous. I have no problem, however, with men with "distinguished" gray sides and the rest mostly their original color.
Remember that the 40-year-olds on DL look 29.
You know who it looks really, really bad on? John Travolta. He looks just awful with the bad dye jobs.
Why do women or men dye their hair?!?
I color mine for fun sometimes. You know--why not spend at least one summer as a bottle blonde? I'd never do it just to try to look younger, however. That's just tragic.
You need to go the highlight route, like Aaron Sorkin (although, it might be a rug).
Women are expected to look rather artificial, with makeup and hairspray and soforth, hair color is just part of it. 90% of the forty-plus women at my job have colored hair, covering the gray is considered to be normal good grooming for women.
NOT for men. Men are expected to look naturally good, or to be so self-confident they don't care about their lack of natural good looks. A man who dyes his hair badly looks desperate.
OP - You've obviously either bald or not old enough to know what age discrimination is.
It will happen to you and let me tell you, most people look better with colored hair.
Like most women look better with a little makeup.
Give it a rest you bitch.
Middle aged men do NOT look better with colored hair. Own your grey hair and I know plenty of grey haired men in positions of authority. Women are a different matter and it IS expected that they color their hair (even before it begins to grow grey).
Women tend to be quite open about the coloring, telling everyone what their stylist said about the new color or asking whether they should go bright red or try a more natural auburn.
Men who dye their hair are more likely to pretend it's natural, which is laughable with a bad dye job.
Well if you go to a good colourist it's not a problem. If my hair was completely grey, I'd love it. But I just get specks of grey which makes you look unkempt. I don't have my hair dyed one colour instead I get the base colour touched up and some subtle highlights thrown in amongst the grey to break it up. And a good cut. Looks nice.
OP, you're mistaken. Men can pull it off and look younger way past 40. Men are still doing it in their 60's - look at Romney.
I think R1 brings up a good point:
Older men who color their hair should leave a little gray on the sides, otherwise they tend to look ridiculous. That's why Mitt Romney looks okay, whereas John Travolta looks ridiculous.
Not guilty. I'm just beyond grateful I have all my hair at 47. Don't give a shit that there's some grey.
Nothing makes a man look older than dyed hair.
God you're all a bunch of cunts.
RE 16 = John Travolta
Not all older men are trying to look younger, we're just want to look good. What's so wrong about that? And yeah, some get it wrong but oh well.
Romney and Ryan look like they use the same shade of hair coloring.
5% grey here and admit to "freshening." When I am more salt and pepper, I will stop because I actually like that look and have very blue eyes. Oh, and I will be 50 next month.
It's not that black and white. You'll see when you get there OP and you'll prolly have some drugstore hair colour.
Some of us would be happy to have hair to color !
My partner colors his hair, and has since his 20s. His mom was prematurely gray at 30. He did not want to end up like that. He has it professionally colored, so they leave a little of the gray. He is 57, and works in the alterations department of a very famous store. He insists he has created an image and must maintain it. All I can say is, at least he still has his hair, unlike me.
On someone in their forties, it's not such a big deal. When you get up into the fifties and sixties it gets a lot trickier, but it can be done. The woman who did my mother's hair when she was in her seventies talked her into letting her make her a very pale blonde and it looked great.
If it's done right, colored hair on men looks very nice. The problem is most men do it themselves with a drugstore product and choose a shade far too dark, which looks ridiculous.
Remember....the more grey you are, the harder it is to cover naturally. If you do it yourself, choose a "natural" or "gold" permanent tone one to two shades lighter than your natural color and leave it on for one hour. If you just have salt and pepper hair, use a semi-permanent dye like Clairol Natural Instincts (avoid Just for Men please) and leave it on for thirty minutes.
It's so easy to chase away the gray...and no one is ever the wiser!
Men should avoid the dye pot unless they want to look like off-duty transvestites.
Men Over 40 Who Color Their Hair...
and all idiots I want NOTHING to do with.
My father dyes his hair. My mother likes it. He's a hairdresser so it's professionally done.
R36, Then they go blond or just a lighter shade of brown. Grey blends in more with lighter hair.
Alec Baldwin's hair hasn't been looking so good lately. It's in Paul McCartney territory of orangey brown. Ick!
Some men look good w/grey, Jon Stewart, Keith Olbermann, Clooney.
Stephen Colbert looks good with just temple grey. He must have a good colorist. same w/Romney. Obama is greying gracefully. Paul Ryan looks like he used vampire black color.
[quote]He is 57, and works in the alterations department of a very famous store. He insists he has created an image and must maintain it.
I nominate this statement for MARY! of the Month.
And some of us are over 40 and don't have deep wrinkles you fucking whippersnapper!
OP, I agree with you.
I'm over 40, and I stopped getting the blond "highlights" a few years ago. I stopped because I have a friend who is over 50 and he is still getting his hair dyed blond, and I realized that it made him look ridiculous.
[quote]Caucasian men who can afford it choose what I call "Hamster Gold", a color that resembles what a dark blond man's hair looks like just before he turns silver.
Pic, please. I'd be interested in seeing an example if you have time.
Twice a year this subject gets a thread. Unusually this time many of the early posters make sense.
The vast majority of male celebrities in their 40s and 50s do not have gray hair.
Why is that a problem here? Because most of the middle aged who post here are cheap and inclined to negativity. "I'm 42 and feel invisible..." Well, you're a sour tubby gray blob. Who wants to see you?
I'll be 50 in a few weeks. Still blonde due to going monthly to a hair salon for twelve years.
To each his own.
[quote]I'll be 50 in a few weeks. Still blonde due to going monthly to a hair salon for twelve years.
Oh, honey. NO ONE is still naturally blond at 50. You're only embarrassing yourself with that shit.
[quote]Men can pull it off and look younger way past 40. Men are still doing it in their 60's - look at Romney.
Romney looks his age. Yes, he looks *good* for his age, to the extent that I think he's had more than a bit of surgical "help" in his face (along with an excellent dye job that left his temples gray), but I know plenty of sixtysomething guys who look just as good. It's generally only guys who are somehow in poor health or weren't blessed with a thick mane of hair who look "old" at 65 or so.
"Oh, honey. NO ONE is still naturally blond at 50."
Not bright blonde. Natural blond hair, like mine, tends to go from golden to mousy before it gets gray (which is why I said "fuck it" and went red). If anyone wants to convince anyone that their hair is still naturally blonde well into middle age, remember to use a very subtle color.
R48, please post a photo of yourself. We're all dying to see what perfection looks like.
Yeah, thought so.
"If Ron Reagan died his hair - and I'm not saying he did - that was just to confuse the Communists."
Never could spell worth a damn.
"Ronald Reagan doesn't dye his hair. He's just prematurely orange."
Gerald Ford (yes, really!)
Travolta's problem isn't that he dyes his hair (badly). It's that he's actually dying his scalp to cover his near-total hair loss.
THAT is a look to avoid. He looks better when he wears one of his rugs.
I'm 38 and dye my hair because it comes in like I'm a calico cat. Shot of orange, brown, black, gray, white, the full hair color spectrum. I don't know why it does this but it really looks horrible. One time I missed a couple of dye periods just to show some people what it would look like. I dye it jet black and I think it looks good. Especially with my blue eyes. My eyebrows are dark black so I figured that's what I should dye it.
If my hair was just black or brown with some gray I wouldn't give a fuck. But my natural hair color is just fucking hideous. I've been dying it since I left the Army in my late 20s. At least in the Army I had a really short buzz cut so it really wasn't noticeable.
[quote] tends to go from golden to mousy before it gets gray (which is why I said "fuck it" and went red).
OH, honey, if you are indeed a man, you look like a old stoop whore.
Can you imagine what the dolt who started this thread actually looks like, and all of her or his supporters?
What is it, a know-it-all fashion queen who think he's the authority on how everyone should look?
Some jealous intrusive frau who gives women a pass for this but doesn't want mean to do it?
Whatever it is, you know this OP is not a hot mess, but however it looks, is most likely a mess.
Here's a tip for you OP. "Over 40" is no magic standard for anything. Once you've actually left your house, you'll see that there are a lot of guys losing their hair and going grey in their 20s, whose skin already looks damaged and wrinkled in their 30s. And there are men over 40 who don't have grey hair, or at best have a little grey at the temples and sideburns, with plenty of guys younger who have more grey hair.
The fact that you don't know this basic point and have leveled your charge at men over 40 is just one indicator that you're one stupid and annoying creep.
It's a personal decision, and for many people of many ages, dyed hair, the clothes you wear, etc., look ridiculous to someone.
Surely you've been laughed at enough by people with taste to know this.
R58, okay, how's this - ALL men who color their hair look like buffoons and clowns. That makes it easier for your sensitivities. ALL men.
Well, R59, if you're not the OP, troll dar lights you up like someone else with an agenda.
Anyone who posts as much as you have about wanting nothing to do with guys who color their hair and how proud you are to be grey has issues.
If you're that confident, why do you give a shit?
And whether you will admit it or not, there are plenty of people, not just actors, who have colored their hair for a lot of reasons, not just to cover grey. And YOU have probably thought they were hot. Society doesn't agree with you, at least.
And if you're giving a pass to women, you're also a sexist moron. You should have said NO ONE should color their hair.
I've made three comments, go to fucking hell!
I think it's R58/R60 who "has an agenda," though I can't quite fathom through the miasma of --what is it-- gin and Benson & Hedges and poodle hair and hauteur and bitterness?
I have a question -- my boss first showed up with medium gray and silver hair - not salt and pepper giving the impression of gray; then he had red hair for a while; then he had same medium gray hair with gold highlights - like he golded the silver hairs; then he became solid medium gray.
His medium gray is like that of gray cat - like a russian blue.
Can anyone tell me what is going on?
R61, now we see why you're grey at 35.
And R62, troll-dar shows you just as charming.
My hair is blond and grey, and I don't color out the grey.
But you, your buddy at R61 and OP are perfect fodder to expose as obnoxious loons.
And the fact that you can't handle the criticism makes it more fun to knock you for it.
I'm strawberry blond and near 50. About 5 yrs ago I started noticing a few grey hairs, but even now you'd have to look hard for them. It's going to take a long time before I'm noticeably grey. My beard has noticeable grey in it, but I can just shave that off.
I'm 52, but dye my hair a dark blonde. The blonde shade helps me look fresh and vibrant. I let my hair go gray once and it was like I was invisible.
It's like anything when you mess with your natural looks- you have to do it carefully and experts should do it. Lots of older and younger men look silly with their dyes- and I include the younger ones with cheap bleach jobs etc.
I don't do anything- thinning on the top and greying on the sides. I keep it short and I stay neat, clean and as fit as possible. That is my "vanity" regimen.
Yeah, discretion and consistency are the keys, and you have to fork out to get a decent professional job. I wear a system and tint my natural hair to match, but I am careful to align the percentage of grey in the system to that in my real hair - I'm up to 15% now! No one has spotted my little subterfuge yet, so it's worth every penny.
I have never had to color my hair. I'm lucky, I guess. Or, maybe it's genes -- or even a healthy lifestyle. I'm not sure which, but I can't imagine what it must be like to have to color your hair. It must be daunting for those who do.
You see...I'm 58, but get confused for 19 all the time. I mean, all the time. And, that's because I eat healthy, I work out 7 days a week, I do not smoke or drink, I use Regenerist, Roc Deep Wrinkle Cream, I give myself deep chemical peels 3 times a day, I use L'OReal Sublime Bronze fake tanner, and I use SPF 85.
Just last night at the gym as a matter of fact, this kid came running up to me and asked which frat I belonged to because he thought he saw me at Rush Week last week up at Michigan State. I said, "Nah, brah, wasn't me."
When I was in the locker room, I was getting dressed after a nice steam in the sauna and shower, and my towel dropped revealing my tight, fakely tanned bod. A few of the older guys who were more than half my age, (guys in their 60's!) said to each other, "What's up with kids trimming and shaving off their pubes nowadays?"
It's evident my pubes haven't gone gray either. And, I don't think that day will come for a long, long time.
Jeff Daniels is 57 and quite blonde on The Newsroom. Most normal people would say he looks good and not like a "buffoon."
[quote]No one has spotted my little subterfuge yet
How would you know? It's not like they would say anything to you.
For men of a certain age, more important than dyeing your hair is staying in shape. A trim guy with some muscle tone and silver hair will look much better and more relevant than some portly man with dyed, highlighted hair.
True, R71. I always think the same thing when someone says of their dick size, "I've never had any complaints!"
I really don't get all the coloring mania for men. I think a man with gray or graying hair can look super-hot (my parter was graying when I met him, and he was only 28 at the time).
But he's got a full head of thick hair, and it looks great on him.
Baldness, on the other hand, is a deal-breaker for me. Genetically-driven hair loss is the bane of my family.
My great-grandmother lived to be 91 and never had a grey hair in her life; her hair was brown until the day she died. She is the only older person I have ever known who never went grey.
I'm 62 with long thick dark brown hair! My mother is 82 and her hair is the same! When I walk down the street, is everybody going to think I dye my hair?
I'm 58, and for some reason what's left of the hair on my head is the same brown that it has always been. But I did add some "just for men" color to my beard for a while, just to make it match the hair on my head. It looked good in the mirror, but I thought it looked too dark in my license photo, so I stopped using it out of fear that people could see it as a bad dye job. I like just being natural about everything, which is why I don't shave.
some people grey very slowly but I haven't personally known anyone over 40 with zero grey hair. Maybe just a few here and there but there is always at least some.
I just know you can tell when a man has dyed his hair to look younger. It has the opposite effect usually, unless a bit of grey is left.
I agree with the poster who said, let yourself get grey and stay in shape much more attractive.
I cant wait to go grey. I hope I go grey like my father did, a real sharp, silvery grey just at the temples.
I'm about 1/3 white and wouldn't color my hair. Salt and pepper hair with a good cut and a fit body is a natural, masculine look and I like it. I certainly don't feel invisible.
this is a related question to aging and grooming.
I think plastic surgery for men is feminizing but I wouldn't mind my neck being a little tighter and the beginnings of jowls reduced is there any merit to those "face excercises" and or products that help with this without looking silly?
The only reason women are given a "pass" on this is because people think women shouldn't be allowed to look natural or show signs of age. I think it's a double standard that favors men, not women.
Botox is another silly look, the shiny smooth foreheads on a 50 year old don't make them younger just stupid.
How lame. Any time I see an odler guy with a dye job (even a good one!) I just think he's insecure and that's pathetic. Obsessing over your image is for insecure people. People in their 20's don't have much going for them (no real career yet, no stability) so I give them a pass for worrying so much about their image, but as you get older you're suppose to care less about how "pretty" you are because you've accomplished other things (such as a career or the stability you lacked in your 20's). Older guys who still worry that much over their looks just come off like people who never grew out of HS. That's why suicides in that group always have to do with aging.
Luckily, I come from a country where I wasn't told to fear age, in fact, with age came masculinity (not giving a fuck about the vapid opinions of others), so I don't fear getting old or going grey (which I will like all the males in my family).
I'm in my 20's now. I have a good body thank to my metabolism and attract guys all the time. I'd rather be older though. I know this one older gay. He's in his 40's, his looks have faded (and he's not having a meltodown over it), he has a great career, a stable home and is dating someone his age. I envy him and hope I follow his path.
Of course, there are exceptions to guys who color their hair (like the guy who naturally has multiple hair colors) but the rule is that those that care that much about how pretty they are, failed to grow up to be confident men who know a person's worth doesn't have to do with being "hot."
[quote]Older men who color their hair should leave a little gray on the sides, otherwise they tend to look ridiculous.
This topic makes me immediately think of Dennis Quaid in that new CBS show Vegas. His dyed hair looks awful and frankly it makes his face look laughable. He'd be more believable with some gray hair.
You can tell by reading R84's post when he turns 40, the denial-fest and cover-up is going to come back to bite him in the ass.
I only wish I were there to see it.
And for the record, R84, you ridiculous little twit, you think you can generalize about "most suicides" in that age group? Based on what, other than anecdotes you've read on the net....
Grow up, read, and think before you write.
Love how R89 says I will become like him as a way of insulting me. :)
Here's a clue. Tons of gay men grow old without becoming insecure teen girls about it.
Now run along now. Don't you have an "image" to maintain? Or maybe you should write a book about how to be fabulous after 40?
You sound like an idiot R84. Career? It's been twenty years since there has been a genuine career path for anyone. You're just too proletarian to see the reality yet.
R84, I never said you'd become me or any secure older gay man -- you know, the ones you said you wish you were.
It's these two passages that are the giveaway Let's start with the obnoxious, know-it-all judgment in this one:
"How lame.... I just think he's insecure and that's pathetic. Obsessing over your image is for insecure people. People in their 20's don't have much going for them (no real career yet, no stability) so I give them a pass ..."
And move right along to your fantasy in the next one:
"I'm in my 20's now. I have a GOOD BODY thank [SIC] to my metabolism and ATTRACT GUYS ALL THE TIME. I'd rather be older though. I know this one older gay. He's in his 40's, his looks have faded (and he's not having a meltodown over it), he has a GREAT CAREER, a STABLE HOME and is dating someone his age. I ENVY HIM and hope I follow his path."
If you can't see how you are setting yourself up in the second for the judgment you are heaping on people in the first, karma will come back and dish out the same judgment you are heaping on other people.
Your final tired, pissy, snarky "run along now" bullshit is just a huge sign you are in for exactly the emotional ass-kicking I predicted before.
The guy at R86's link would be handsome if he went bald and lost the come-over: pretty eyes and a good complexion.
No R91, YOU sound like an idiot.
There's been no career path for anyone for 20years? WTF are you talking about?
The adults I know have careers. These careers bring them stability as they get older. It's the young ones who are just starting off who don't have stability in their chosen careers.
You're so insecure you refuse to grow the fuck up and act like a real man. You're way of defending yourself is by calling me "working class?"
You're a loser who thinks desperately holding on to the past and insulting others by calling them working class is an ideal way of living. Loser.
R84 keep it up.
Anyone who accuses as many people of being insecure as you have is insufferable and probably more insecure.
As another gay man in his 20s, the only thing I think is if we have to live with
assholes like you for decades the world is gonna suck.
Please fuck up and die.
R84 are you kidding?
Telling R94 to grow the fuck up and act like a real man?
What kind of stupid little girl are you?
In my opinion, after men and women start to gray they can not color their hair solid brown (even if it was their natural shade) without looking hard and unnatural. The only color that works with aging skin is blond. Look at Hillary Clinton. She's a natural brunette and looks fine at her age as a blond but not young. If she tried going back to her natural color she'd be a fright as does every older person who dyes their hair dark.
R92, maybe I'd take you more seriously if you weren't lying already.
You did claim that when I get older I'd become an insecure gay man in denial.
And you disagree with me calling men who obsess over their image insecure? Why? Do you consider obsessing over your image to be healthy?
Then in the end you once again claim karma will get me and I'll become an insecure old man. You're so full of shit man. In one sentence you say you're not claiming I'll become a loser when I get older, and then you do in the next.
I'm from a different country. One where I was taught men don't turn into teen girls when they get older. In my country, older people are respected and admired. The ones that don't grow up are seen as jokes because they are just trying to prevent the aging process.
When I was 18, I was fucking hot. I had an 8 pack, perfect skin, could go out drinking til 4am and still look great when I woke up. Now in my late 20's, none of that longer applies. I no longer have a 6 pack, if I drink past midnight, I look and feel like shit the following day. I no longer can walk into a bar and have all eyes on me. And you know what? I'm great with that. When i was at my hottest, i was so fucking insecure. Always obsessing over my looks.
I may no longer be as hot as I was in college, but I'm also not as insecure. I have a stable job now that has allowed me to get a nice apartment. I can travel to Europe and pay my way instead of relying on a sugar daddy. Back when I was "hot" and "young" I could barely afford to wipe my ass, and I always felt my looks were the only thing going for me. I grew up and realized there are more important things than looking "hot."
R96, one that isn't obsessed with looking "pretty."
R84, you are correct that, despite your denials, I am calling out your growing insecurity revealed through your bitchy judgment of other people, and are well on the road to becoming worse in this regard.
Where you are confused is that I said you would not be like me.
Because you are so busy calling everyone else insecure old men -- eve when you don't know if we're close to your age or not -- you don't seem to grasp the distinction.
Bright, you are not.
Wow you can just hear R84/R99 shrieking though his posts.
Who writes shit like this...."When I was 18, I was fucking hot. I had an 8 pack, perfect skin / Now in my late 20's, none of that longer applies. /
I may no longer be as hot as I was in college, but I'm also not as insecure / I'm in my 20's now. I have a good body thank to my metabolism and attract guys all the time"
BOTTOM LINE: You are still obsessed with your looks. You are insecure.
Where's the queue to watch you fall apart in your 40s. It's gonna be a fucking show.
R84 & R98 etc.
You now must post pics of you at 18 and "fucking hot" and your perfect skin and the "now" man-magnet you say you are.
If you don't, admit your insecurity and stop acting like a clown.
R100, again with the lies.
When did I call everyone an insecure old man? I said older men who are still obsessed with looking pretty are insecure. I even said I admire and envy older gay men who are over trying to look hot and young and hip. Then you and some other poster started calling me names leading me to assume that you're an older man who is obsessed with looking pretty hence why you freaked out over me saying older men who are obsessed with looking pretty/young are insecure.
Also, please about me not being bright. I came from poverty in a 3rd world country and now I'm college educated, financially stable man in NYC. I went to one of the most expensive colleges in this country and have no debt because I received scholarships and the money I made from working menial jobs I saved instead of spending it on the latest high fashion like people who are insecure over their looks do.
But of course, continue making up BS about me in order to justify the fact that you're an idiot for thinking older men should act like insecure teen girls who are afraid others won't think they're pretty.
All the people here defending their need to look younger, it boils down to them protecting some sort of "image." They're afraid they'll be less desirable because they have grey hair, so they come up with these delusions to justify their quest to look young and hot.
You want to be considered "hot?" then gain some confidence. Confident older men shouldn't give a damn about grey hairs or being confused as being younger. That's what makes them hot. They grew up.
R101, how am I still obsessed with my looks? Do you know how to read? English isn't my first language but I assume it's yours? Did you miss the part where I said, I'd rather be older, fatter and more secure in my life than when I was younger, hot and had no security?
Yes, r102. I'll post my pics. Nothing wrong has ever occurred from someone posting their pics online. Idiot.
I won't fall apart in my 40's like all you losers. Where I'm from being over 40 is a great thing. It's only in gay ghettos where people start killing themselves once they turn 40.
Unlike you, I'm not obsessed with you. I find older men (who age gracefully) to be sexy. I want to become one of them and be one of them, instead of another 40-something year old loser chasing after 20 year olds.
R84 you are obsessed with your looks because you can't resist telling us attractive you are or were.
And calling everyone else losers makes you look like a child. Asking us if we can read English makes you a bigot, in ANY language.
R105, I can't resit telling you? It is you guys who keep bringing it back up. I brought it up once. We're still talking about it because you guys keep bringing it up. Now just to clarify for you since you seem a little slow. I brought up how "hot" I was when younger to show how it means nothing. I said I was hot and miserable, and that now that I'm older (and uglier) I'm much happier than when I was at my "hottest."
Growing older means you will lose your looks. I already gave up trying to look "hot" because I found other things that bring me joy. I have a career, I have stability in my life, and many other things that I didn't have when I was young and hot. All of you are still obsessed with maintaining an "image" and looking younger as if that will make you happy.
And boohoo, I called you a loser you whiny hypocrite. You call me out for calling other people names but it's ok for everyone to call me names? You really are stupid.
Thank you all for proving my point that older men who refuse to age are total messes. Not only are you guys obsessed with looking hot, but now you're obsessed with me. You don't know me, what I look like, or what I do, yet you cling on to every word I say as if I'm God. :)
As for all the older gay men who are aging gracefully. Thank you even more for proving that being an old gay man doesn't mean being a loser. You can be old and sexy, but you can't be old and sexy if you're still acting like a teen girl.
R106 (aka R84) who do you think you're calling out for caring about "our image" and "looks"?
Please do point to ONE post that has responded to you where ANY of us say we say looks are what matters when we age.
These "losers" you keep shrieking at are in your head. And you are one sanctimonious asshole.
Wow, these posts are as tragic as the Facebook arguments between strangers over politics, religion and gay rights! No one changes anyone's mind. You are really just arguing into space. People insanely have to post such complex stuff here. Do you have no, you know, REAL LIFE friends? Who CARES if you color your fucking hair? A good dye job should not be obvious no matter WHAT age one is. And age is IRRELEVANT anyway. If a guy over forty, hell over sixty, had a great dye job, you would not KNOW it anyway.
"Don't be defeatist. It so middle class."
This fiery debate comes up several times a year.
The vast majority of men in the public eye in their 30s, 40s and 50s do not have gray hair.
Professionally coloring one's hair is a standard convention in the modern age for middle aged men.
I believe that the outcry comes from those who also get cheap hair cuts, are out of shape and dress poorly.
Looking good is not "desperate" or a sign of "insecurity." Appearing vigorous and vital is not "trying to stay young."
Most of the posters here are disaffected gray blobs who've "settled into age" while still in their 30s.
"Aging gracefully" is a great idea for when you're getting "old"-- like 60. What's the rush?
To each his own.
Wit and Wisdom for both r108 and r109!
Nobody talks about Brad Pitt or Ryan Seacrest looking desperate because they color their hair, which they most certainly do. A hot guy with a good color job looks hot. End of discussion.
First of all OP is totally ignorant ...maybe men over 60 look a bit silly with dyed hair that shows no grey but 40? Many guys in their 40s have no wrinkles st all, let alone "deep" ones (look at Jared Leto for example)
I'm in my mid 30s and have some grey which I get colored professionally, the colorist uses a natural light brown to match most of the rest of my hair, which colors the greys lighter so they look like natural highlights and actually looks better than it did when it was all the same shade of brown before I had no greys.
Has anyone else noticed the recent coloring experiments of Howard Dean? It's gotten better but for a while his hair was a mess.
Useless without pics but I can't find one except on a winger site I won't link. Sorry.
I agree with R84 and think that he has a healthy attitude.
The problem when men decide to color their hair -- especially if they have dark hair -- is that they don't get it done right. I've seen way too many dark haired guys with horribly fake looking "shoe polish" dye jobs. If you're going to keep your hair dark, you need some subtle highlights to break up the color.
[quote] The vast majority of men in the public eye in their 30s, 40s and 50s do not have gray hair.
Here's a recent photo from the swearing in of new ministers in the Australian Government.
7 men in the photo - 3 very clearly with grey hair, one with very little hair and 3 with hair that looks dark from the distance.
There are pills that one can take that will stop the naturally occurring peroxide in ones system from developing. This will stop and eventually reverse your gray hair to it's lovely dishwater color of your youth.
[quote]There are pills that one can take that will stop the naturally occurring peroxide in ones system from developing. This will stop and [bold]eventually reverse [/bold]your gray hair to it's lovely dishwater color of your youth.
Not necessarily true. There is a pill in development that will prevent hair from going gray but not reverse already gray hair.
[quote]If you’re already fighting those coarse gray strands, the pill won’t help. According to L'Oreal, patients will have to take it every day for at least 10 years [bold]before hair starts turning gray[/bold] and it will have to be taken for life — or until you decide to embrace the silver fox style.
And, the "Go Away Gray" stuff is a scam.
Recently saw an episode of "Maude" where they had some flashbacks. Maude's hair was re-colored medium brown with just a bit of gray. She was supposed to be 4 years younger but looked ten years younger.
Van Johnson was a guest. His hair was a light color like when he was young. It looked okay on him. Had it been dyed dark brown or black like so many older men, it wouldn't have worked.
I don't dye my hair, but I might go to a salon to have it done when I look for a new job down the line. I am worried about age discrimination. I don't think I'll get rid of all of the grey, but I will get rid of some of it.
"Van Johnson was a guest. His hair was a light color like when he was young. It looked okay on him."
Oh yeah, it's MUCH easier to take the gray out of light hair than dark. Just a little tinting, a little attention to the roots, and your light hair looks the same as it always did. People with dark hair can't maintain the original color at all, and the gray roots are glaringly obvious.
It's one of those "life isn't fair" things.
I stopped coloring my hair about 5 months ago. I can't cut it short enough yet to get all the dyed hair out, but I have been getting a very positive reaction to all the gray. It's very freeing to not worry about it anymore. I don't have much in the back, but the top and sides are about 90 % silver. Hell, I'm 45 now, might as well embrace it.
I waited YEARS to have gray hair! I think I look better this way.
You 'dye' fabric, you 'color' hair!
You have to be really hot to pull off grey hair. It really ages you and the silver fox look just doesn't do it for me at all.
I think over 50 you have a point, but early 40s nah. Andy Cohen automatically looks a good 10 years older. I never found Clooney remotely attractive, but it really works for him.
Other things men over 40 shouldn't do:
Wear A&F, Aeropostale, or anything from a department store's section geared toward men 18 - 34
Try and pull off hairstyles that look ridiculous on Justin Bieber (even if he popularized them)
Wear flip flops
Most guys who do this look bad because (a) they do it at home/out of a bottle, and (b) they overdo it.
It's like Botox. One wants to look refreshed, not alarmed.
I agree about the clothing, R126, but why flip flops? I never could stand wearing them myself - prefer Sanuks - but I don't get the hate for flip flops.
I can't believe - over 100 replies and no one's brought up Robert Redford.
He is in his seventies and is still dying his hair. Really, REALLY bad dye job that looks unnatural, as if a possum sat on his head and died.
here's a tip: if you color your hair at home, choose a color that is one shade lighter than your natural color. Then, first color the sideburns and roots ONLY. leave this for 90% of the allotted time. Then, and only then, comb the color through the rest of your hair. You will end up with a natural looking color.
Have you tried hitting his head with a stick, R129?
OP is someone who needs to hear your voice before getting down on his knees to suck off your dick and swallow your load. The logical disconnect there will be completely lost on him, though.
Redford fixed that on his recent press tour. It looks way better
Women, Actors, and Gay men color their hair.
Nah, r134. I was a corporate shill for a while, and all the upper management guys had the same terrible DIY dye job. It even had a name. We called it the [Company Name] Dip.
Men look hot with gray/white hair. I think women look best when they maintain their natural color (keep dying it, not letting it go grey/white). I find grey hair, particularly "salt and pepper" hair on women extremely unattractive. It just looks dirty/unkempt to me, like that women from the Restasis commercial.
One thing I don't get is guys that color their hair to remove the grey and then grow facial hair with a bunch of grey in it, and on top of it usually the color of the facial hair that's not grey doesn't even match the head hair color. Racheal Zoes husband on her show does this and I'm like wtf this woman is a renowned stylist and she doesn't tell him how ridiculous this looks?
It's the really dark colors - like jet black - that don't look good on older people (men OR women), even with a little bit of grey left in.
most colors don't look good at ALL
Tell me, guys, how do you keep your roots up?
My hair is long, and I only have to deal with the roots in front. But how do men with short hair, or partially short hair cope?
[quote]My hair is long, and I only have to deal with the roots in front.
ix-nay. the WHOLE thing is wrong wrong wrong
Dan Abrams' blonde looks strangely good.
I color my mustache and goatee not for the purposes of hiding gray because it has very little gray. I have naturally medium brown hair but since I'm turned 45 my facial hair has started turning red. Not Auburn but orange like Lucille Ball or Carrot Top. I want my mustache and goatee to be the same color as my eyebrows. I don't use the cheap just for men facial hair color instead I use an expensive women's hair color twice a week to make sure that it looks natural. Once my facial hair turns completely grey I'll stop using the hair color. If I get the lightest blonde hair color and leave it on for a long time will it bleach my hair out to white??
[quote]If I get the lightest blonde hair color and leave it on for a long time will it bleach my hair out to white??
No, just lighter red or possibly blonde. If you want to make hair look white, you will need a lightening kit AKA bleach. Naturally red hair is particularly difficult to lighten, so it may take more than one attempt.
Another no no is earrings on men over 40. They look stupid.
I think grey hair is sexy and am actually looking forward to when that happens to me. No way am I going to color it.
I agree (R146) Harrison Ford's earring makes him look terrible
I also color my mustache and goatee a bit, to address the fact that the gray that's there is all sort of on one side of my face and it looks weird. Until it naturally comes in a little more symmetrically, I take a little off the one side so it's more or less equal, and use a color about two shades lighter than the darkest of the natural colors (I've got dark brown, light brown, and gray), so it doesn't look like shoe polish.
I don't mind died hair (as long as it's not died too dark, ie: black), as long as the facial hair is not left gray. I work with a man that has jet black hair on his head (an obvious bottle-job) and almost totally gray mustache and goatee. It looks silly.
I'm 37 and don't have a hint of grey. I have that fucked up dirty blond color and hate it so I get light blond highlights to even out the tone. I actually would prefer if I'd go all grey but the only male in my family that got some grey was my father and I don't seem to carry much of his gene pull in appearance. My complexion is very light and can tan very dark in the summer but from fall to spring that darker blond if not highlighted on a light complexion makes me look anemic. With light colored hair I don't look all washed out.
It's a conundrum. Grey hair does age a person. There's no use denying that. But a lot of dye jobs are not flattering to the skin. Once the hair turns grey the skin color must change a bit too and you can't go back to your natural brown color without looking weird and unhealthy. However, women seem to be able to go blond just fine no matter what their natural color was.
Even if you color your hair brown for a while and it looks okay it won't be long before the dye looks too unnatural.
I love silver foxes. Esp. guys whose hair is already all grey around 30. And even more when they come with blue or grey eyes.
I'm sure John Travolta use his hair as a diversion: my playmobil hair looks so out of touch that I could not possibly be gay, right? Right?
The biggest issue I have is guys who dye their hair but not their beards. Sable brown hair on top of a snow white beard..... If you are going to dye one, dye the other. I used to touch up my beard twice per week as it had much more white than my hair.
If you are going to leave the beard natural, leave your hair natural too please.
I'm 56 and I have a headful of black hair with just a few white hairs showing up. Does genetics play the major role in determining when you go gray?
Lighten your hair so there isn't as much contrast with the gray.Also only leave the color on for 10 minutes, then you don't get a uniform color like Travolta
I'm going to my grave with a shock of titian hair!
Obviously dyed hair looks bad on women AND men. And so many older women go for that peculiar brassy red, which is always hideous.
I'm 57 and have a lot of grey hair, and so far I just don't give a shit.
I hate dyed old lady hair.
My partner's mother bleaches her gray hair, and thinks that it is blonde. It is white. I soooo want to tell her that she can't bleach gray, but I don't want to hurt her feelings, and she is too cheap to see a professional hairstylist. She buys the 'frost' kit at Walgreens and does it herself. It ages her.
Why do so many middle-aged people even care whether they're still attractive or not? I always presumed that in this phase of your life you'd have more urgent and interesting things on your mind.
I think the obsession with eternal youth and beauty has increased ever since the babyboomers started to age and it's getting worse with each generation. Can you imagine how it will be like when the Millenials hit their 40s? Plastic surgeons will become the new Rockefellers.
"Does genetics play the major role in determining when you go gray?"
Genetics are the only thing that determines when you go gray.
I'm 45 and I dye my hair.
On me it looks absolutely fantastic. I'm not a trim 6-pack 20yo, and I even have a little chubby fat. But my hairdresser is amazing, he colors and cuts my hair like no one else, this guy could work wonders on Hollywood actors, but he chooses to help out regular Joes instead.
I've noticed that people are wondering what I've done to myself, they can't quite place it, have you lost weight? You look so much younger, waow..you haven't aged a bit etc. Some do spot that I've colored my hair, it's those at work who see me on a regular basis, but no one else can tell really.
The trick is - a really experienced hairdresser! Plus, you should never dye your hair with other than your original color, and absolutely NOT if your hair is totally white because then everyone will notice and it'll probably just be tacky.
And it's expensive too, because you got to keep it up, it takes maintenance and money, miss a cut...and everyone will know.
I look at my older pictures from when I was younger, it really is a perfect match, I'm one of those lucky that doesn't have any wrinkles in my face yet. When that time come, I may choose to just let go, but I'm certainly going to try to cheat inevitability as long as I can get away with it.
Those who are complaining about age discrimination is absolutely right, we live in a very shallow society, besides...it tells something about that person, the life, the want, the vigor.
When I didn't dye my hair, I looked worn and grey, and people talk with me for 5 minutes tops, when I started to "look younger", people wouldn't even let me go. I got a LOT more work assignments than before.
But the opposite is also true, beware of the fact you'll lose a few privileges if you pull it off as well as I do, for example - people don't treat you with the elderly dignity that you'd normally get, such as people holding doors open for you, walking off the sidewalk for you, you just get treated the way anyone else will be treated. I prefer that!
ugh, idiot du jour
R162 was written by Crlairol. Circa 1978.
I don't agree with the first comment. If you are male and colour your hair with the right colour it does make you look and feel younger. Some men look good with the darker colours, if their skin tones are darker and go with it. But I have learned that as one gets older our skin tones change and usually lighter colours go good with them. I had medium brown hair and coloured my hair since I was in my 20's when it started turning grey. As I got older I changed the colour to a lighter shade of brown and eventually I tried blonde and it looked natural and good. I am 67 and still a blonde and everyone thinks I am way younger. I am debating now whether to let my hair go grey as it would be a light grey shade, but will probably not go through with letting it go grey as for some reason it makes me feel older. I still feel that grey hair makes most men look older.
The only thing that goes through my head when I see an older guy with a dye job is "That's sad that he feels the need to cover up who he really is". It shows a lack of confidence, which is a major turn-off. And 90% of the dye jobs look terrible. You are not fooling anyone. And besides that, grey hair can look really attractive, especially if it is not allowed to get too long. Long grey hair looks kinda "witchy" and should be avoided at all costs.
The trick to a good dye job is really obvious and yet so few men get it - leave the sides grey. Not just a strip at the temples and the rest is jet black like Romney, but get a colorist who can blend the sides in and use a dye that makes the grey hair on top a little lighter than your natural color
That way you look your age - no 60 year old man has zero grey hair - but you don't look like an old man.
My gym crush, Hot Dad, is going grey. Just at the temples a little. Although he started growing his beard earlier this year and it was coming in all grey, so he shaved it. He's 47 and sexy as hell. No doubt he would still be good looking if he dyed it, but something about him just "owning" that look instead of fighting it makes him more attractive to me.
Just saw Tony Danza on Broadway in Honeymoon in Vegas. Horrible show but he is in incredible shape except for the that awful head of dyed hair which looks vaguely burnt sienna under stage lights.
He's not playing an ingénue....why does he do that??
Actually, dyed hair doesn't look great on most people, men or women.
I like skinny old chain smoking rockers who dye their hair jet black. No, it's not natural, but it looks cool.
Dye jobs make hair look one flat uniform color with no fine variations of texture. It's very unattractive.
"Why do so many middle-aged people even care whether they're still attractive or not? I always presumed that in this phase of your life you'd have more urgent and interesting things on your mind. "
Why should anyone feel obligated to stop caring about looking attractive at any age? The person who wrote this has a lot of sadness ahead if this perception remains unchanged.
R120 (pretty sure that was the one) brought up a real and unavoidable factor - ageism in the work marketplace.
A female friend with a great resume was laid off at 59. While collecting unemployment she went to a required career counseling class. The main message presented was to hedge on showing your exact age, both in resume language and personal appearance. Everyone was advised to do all they could to make themselves look younger - starting with coloring one's hair. Men and women were included in this advice.
That female friend was attractive, engaging and very youthful in many ways and she looked her age. It wasn't poor self-esteem or wanting to be young again that pressured her - it was the cultural pressure. A lot of normal average people of a certain age are pressured to color their hair in the hopes of having an income. It's awful, but it's a reality for many.
I agree that to make colored hair look natural you need to have it done by a professional colorist who is very skilled. It costs, needs to be maintained consistently, and good colorists are not necessarily found at every hair salon.
That's a BAD dye job R173
A good dye job has lots of variations of color. Men should let the temples go grey so that it looks natural
"dyed hair doesn't look great on most people, men or women. "
At a certain age, the question isn't whether a dye job looks great, but whether it looks better than your graying, gray, or white hair.
I'm graying badly. I still have plenty of hair, but the color is fading from natural ash blond to a dreadful sort of mouse-and-beige. A little subtle, natural-looking color saves me from being completely and utterly drab.
If you want to have a look at how tragic a middle aged man with colored hair looks, just take a peek at Aaron Sorkin.
A few minor points:
Yes, as we age generally it is better to go with lighter shades than sticking to whatever shade one was at 18 or so.
Nothing says home bottle dye job faster than a hairline that makes one look like Eddie Munster. This goes for women and men but especially for anyone with a thin or sparse hairline. Remember Martin Crane when he dyed his hair for one of Frasier's parties?
Most professional hair color lines for men are not as heavy on pigment load as those aimed for women. The goal is normally just to blend the gray and or create subtle highlights. The overall affect is more that "something was done", but no one can put their finger on exactly what. This as opposed to Gustav von Aschenbach from Death in Venice