I thought mothers automatically received custody of the kids. The kids are 7 and 4. All of the meanie moms in the neighborhood are just having a field day with this. I wonder what she did. We're sort of friendly, but I'm afraid to come right out and ask. Her ex was hot. Amazing body and a big package. I bet he's going to hire some hot as shit nanny and fuck her brains out every night. Lucky bitch.
She may not have done anything. Sometimes it's a mutual decision if the mom thinks the kids will be better off with Dad paying the day to day expenses and being better off financially. Sometimes it's just who has the better attorney and, of course, he could have made shit up about her or there is something you don't know going on. I think the days of Mom automatically getting custody are fading.
If the divorce was not amicable, it's often the custody issue where things get really ugly - one side saying the other is an unfit parent.
And the days of automatically awarding custody to the mother are long over, ever since women returned in force to the workplace, and frequently make more money than their husbands.
It's still pretty unusual for a mother to lose primary custody to the father if they don't have a"shared" custody arrangement . In my experience there are usually drugs and alcohol (DUI's) involved if the mom is battling for custody and loses. In other words, if the father has sole custody and she only has visitation. That isn't about lifestyle limitations ie. working too much or not making as much money, etc. It's usually about neglect and/or abuse. Sounds like that's what OP is talking about.
And then sometimes there is a father who doesn't really care about the kids and just wants to hurt the mother and vice versa. I had a divorce attorney tell me once that divorce is like ripping open someone's chest and ripping their heart out for the people involved.
The father can usually get the kids away from the mother if he wants to. Most just don't want to.
R5 is right. I had a friend lose her kid b/c she had wine when she was pregnant. Mind you probably 2 bottles over the whole nine months and never more than one small glass at a time. The husband spent a shitload on the divorce lawyer too which I'm sure didn't hurt. She got them back shortly thereafter when it proved way too much for him and now he's moved to the other coast and started a new family. He's a piece of shit.
[quote]The father can usually get the kids away from the mother if he wants to.
Really? How? Money?
If a mother doesn't get custody she's really bad. I mean I have known parolees who murdered people and are currently addicted to smack and they get custody.
So this neighbor must be one step short of Satan.
Sometimes the kids take sides. In one that I know about, the wife/mother was having an affair with her son's teacher. After the divorce the kids chose to live with the dad. They picked a team.
Later when the son grew up and came out as gay/bisexual his dad threw a fit about him wanting his boyfriend living with them, so he ended up going back to live with his mom for a while.
You never know the soap opera details of your neighbor's lives OP. Try gossiping with the other neighbors to find out.
[quote]You never know the soap opera details of your neighbor's lives OP. Try gossiping with the other neighbors to find out.
The first sentence inspired integrity and maturity. And the second pulled down integrity's pants and mocked the whole concept of maturity. Good post, I like you.
Good one R10. I was taken aback as well by that...lol
Pics of the ex, please. And have you seen the package unclothed? Or maybe he stuffs socks in his underwear.
As a father going through a custody issue myself, sometimes the 'best interest of the child' can mean that a father shows more involvement on a day to day basis. If one parent can show that they are the parent for doctors visits, school meetings, out-door activities, breakfast and dinner, home work, shopping, laundry, etc., should it matter what the gender of that parent is? Mind you the child is usually better off if the two parents can let the child experience the love of both in a joint custody. Sadly this is not the norm. One or both parties use the child as a pawn for control to project their anger. It's very sad.
Sometimes the mother just does not want the kids. I have two friends whose wives walked out and left them with the kids. In both cases, the dads were very involved in their kids lives and the mother found someone new.
I had a high school English teacher who opined that "most children are just connubial missiles."