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Are there any gay dating sites that are more relationship-based?

Maybe I've been watching too many gay romance movies on NetFlix (just rewatched Latter Days) but I'm ready to fall in love. I'm not hot, but I have some good, substantive things going for me that you won't know about from a gay bar or a nude photo. I'm looking for those same substantive things from someone else. Where do I find him? I haven't dated in years and truth be told, haven't hooked up in a couple of years. It just got easier to enjoy my own company and not worry about diseases and all that stuff. I'm in my 40s, upper-middle class, respected in my industry, sane to the point of boring, and have the money to travel and enjoy life. I'm smart, funny, and have have a rich social life dining and traveling with friends far and wide. But I'm very used to being the 3rd wheel or 5th wheel at a dinner party. My guy doesn't have to be gorgeous. But I hope he's at least cute. It's fine with me if he's 25 lbs overweight because I certainly am. But I'm also muscular and not a total tub of goo. I would love it if he could play a guitar and sing me songs; that stuff makes me melt. He needs to be comfortable outside the gay ghetto, because I don't hang out there much. Which of course, makes it that much harder to find each other. Where to start? I'm ready to try, which is something I haven't been able to say in a long time.

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