I want to fuck Demetri Martin.

He's adorable. I can't help myself.

• I asked " 'Metri" about you and he said, "No." Emphatically.

• He's 39! I want to be mad at him for dressing like a 23-year-old record store employee at that age but I have to admit he sells the illusion pretty well.

• Michael Cera, too?

• Jesus? Is the person playing his mom an actress or did she have him when she was 14? Also his hair is terrible.

• He's 39??? I always thought he was around 25.

• I absolutely do not want to fuck Michael Cera.

  OP

• I absolutely do not want to fuck Michael Cera.

  OP

• He fucked Ang Lee, so he'd probably fuck you.

• Sounds great. Can't wait.

• I also assumed he was in his 20s.

• Beautiful hair, beautiful eyes, beautiful jeans ...

• Demetri plays too much with gay themes to be totally straight - not to mention TAKING WOODSTOCK ...

• OP, are you also the one that wants to fuck Jason Schwartzman?

• Dude needs to stop playing it like a 22 year old hipster.

• bump bmup

• He's homophobic. Hated the gay kiss scene he had to do with Darren Pettie in Taking Woodstock.

• Why is he homophobic?

• He's ridiculously cute.

• WEHT Demetri?

• Is it 2007?

• OP, are you Eugene Mirman?

• Ha, no, Eugene is straight, I think.

• Saw Demetri at the Whole Foods in Venice Beach a few months ago. He looked 38.