- Hey, does anyone know if ice cream comes just in pint and half gallon sizes…or is there like a ten gallon bucket available?
- How does it feel to be retired from acting?
- Retired? I'm not retired….I'm just at the craft services table.
- Constance, you played a relatively minor character on Knots Landing, one among many on a show with a large cast.
How come DL made you an enduring fave, and not, say, Kim Lankford or Lisa Hartman?
I still don't understand that.
- Do you know Diana Canova?
- BRING ME SOME FUCKING TWINKIES NOW!
- Do prefer to eat green poop or corn encrusted poop?
- Constance McCashin is no longer funny. That routine had its day five years ago.
- Perhaps, R8.
But those Munchos aren't past THEIR expiration date! Pass the bag!
- I'm bored and have the home version of "$100,000 Pyramid" and some HoHos in my car.
Can I come over?
- I was the original Constance McCashin poster who had her eating a different junk food with every post. I feel like a proud papa right now.
- [quote]I feel like a proud papa right now.
- R11 I was waiting for you to show up!
- Do they still make Choco Tacos?
- I can't wait for the new WeTV reality show: "Constance at Costco!"
- The crazy thing about Constance and her snacking is that she's not a large woman. She must have some metabolism!
- [quote] Joan van Ark and the stranger in my mirror
Verna, we're goin' home!
- Is Constance McCashin even overweight? Where did all of this come from?
I thought she was retired from acting and doing something else. Either way, she made an indelible mark on primetime dramas of the 80's as "Laura" and she was on the show for 7 seasons (I think) more than most shows last nowadays.
It was stupid to write her and Julie Harris out of the show, but TV shows always have and always will do stupid things. I'm sure KL regretted it in later years.
I'm still a fan. Making fun of her like this seems like a low blow.
- [quote] Is Constance McCashin even overweight? Where did all of this come from?
A deep hunger, my dear.
- As the poster who started this with Constance and a bag of Funyuns, I can assure you it wasn't meant to insult her. I thought it somewhat amusing to have her bored, sitting around reading DL, while noshing on something.
I posted a few times in a Knots or Dallas thread, usually criticizing Donna's eye-shadow while having a snack. If anything it was making fun of Donna Mills (or, more to the point, Donaa Mills' 80s make-up). It then took on a life of it's own.
- Thanks for the "heads up" R20, I always wondered. Constance McCashin is on Twitter now, I followed her for a little while. But, she only posted links to articles having nothing to do with "Knots Landing."
Obviously, KL wasn't her whole life, but it must have been a major part of it. I was disappointed that-you'd never know she had been on the show from her Twitter persona. She never answered back-even when I complemented her. So, I Unfollowed.
To be honest: When she refused to let her voice be heard in the "Knots Landing: Back to the Cul-de-Sac" scene where "Meg" finally had the chance to watch the video will "Laura" had left her; I felt viewers were really screwed out of a major payoff. It wouldn't have to even show her face, just her voice.
It seemed so petty and disrespectful to fan, I lost a lot of respect for her. She shouldn't have been fired, but on the other hand, she did last for 7 or 8 yrs. or 200 episodes (If I remember right.) She could have been gracious about it.
But, who knows what went on behind-the-scenes?
- Constance showed up at the TVLand Awards a couple of years ago. She has said that she would've been opening to be part of the reunion show a few years back, but that Henry Winkler, who produced the show, didn't contact her til a couple of days before taping was scheduled (he tracked her down at the beauty salon), and she couldn't make it on such short notice.
- Connie McCashin doesn't know ANYTHING about being gracious. If she did, maybe Laura wouldn't have died.
- Connie's professional website. She looks she's barely aged in the 25-30 years since she did Knots.
- Oh, Constance!
- Is this her or a psychologist namesake?
I'm a clueless non-American OP who wouldn't know her from Baskin Robbins.
- Constance, what do you think of the work Joan Van Ark has had done?
- "At age five, I was catapulted to semi-stardom, appearing on the iconic CBS children's program, The Howdy Doody Show. My parents squelched this fledgling career in favor of a "normal childhood"
Bitter much, Constance?
- Constance (aka Laura), was Scooter hung like a nail?
Who was the man during your lesbian fling? You or Ciji?
- R27, I think Joan's work was rather unfortunate. However, I will say it was a risk worth taking, as she was getting a bit ragged and needed to try something.
R29, Diana, you are truly tasteless. Of course Ciji and I were great friends but nothing more than that. If you had listened to your mother and stayed in Knots Landing --- instead of running off with your slimy boyfriend who murdered my best friend --- you might know that.
I will respond to other questions, unless you're Donna Mills asking how I was able to keep eyeglasses on my pushed-in-face.
- How are you able to keep eyeglasses on your pushed-in face?
- Oh Donna, dear. I can smell it's you from here. Besides, we all know Lisa can't read or write.
- I visited her website a few months ago.
I think she dissociated from [italic]Knots Landing[/italic] because, as cliched as this may sound, it was a chapter of her life she wants left behind.
- [quote]I think she dissociated from Knots Landing
Knots Landin'? What's that, sug'?
- Where did my thread go?
- It's the height of irony that the always-snacking Constance is, in real life, a therapist dealing with eating disorders.
- [italic]Dear Ms./Miss/Mrs. McCashin:[/italic] Which do you prefer—the 1970s or 1980s?
- What kind of idiot would bump a thread that couldn't even make it to 15 posts when it was started two years ago, and had only made it up to 37 in the years since?
The glory days of Constance McCashin threads were - what, ten years ago? No one cares anymore.
- R38 sounds a lot like Kim Lankford.
- R38 is Nicollette Sheridan. I can smell her from here!
- I'm up to 41 replies now r38! Are you jealous? The last thread I saw about you ("Putrid cunt has chronic halitosis!") only had about 7 replies!
- "I don't look anything like a Cabbage Patch Doll!! And to answer your question Richard, or DICK as I called you in private. I was the man when Ciji and I were 69ing on the culdesac!"
- "Karen shut your POLLYANNA mouth before I shut it for you bitch!"
- I just shit myself and now have to get off the couch and clean up!
- How do you not scream when you see Joan Van Ark's face nowadays?
I saw her in a supermarket in Beverly Hills and I had to be sedated.
- I just ate six tacos from TACO BELL and three Burritos. My husband Sam and the family dog both left the room because I can't stop farting! Please pass the HAGGEN DAZ...I'm ready for round two.
- Help...I am so confused. This woman moved in with me that looks exactly like my dead best friend Ciji. She talks like her, sings like her.....she's a "Dead RINGER" for my friend. Her name is Cathy Geary...her initials are C.G. So how do I approach her with the idea of lesbian sex?
- You poor dear....did Joan have on her usual flesh tone lipstick and long stringy hair extensions. She's looks like the twin of SKELETOR!
- Joan of ARC after being burnt alive on the stake looks better than Joan Van BARK. WOOF WOOF.
- I give Constance a 2 on the Abby Scale. WHich is Very good considering her smooshed in face and big fat ass.
- "No one kept the faith that MY BABIES were alive but me! And Not you and not your damn views JOSHUA!"
- "HAAAARRRRYYYYY!! THey've come to take the BAAABBIIIEESSS!!!"
- Mac...MAC!!! Why is it when I cry they mistake me for Cornelius from Planet of the apes???
- "I'm not saying Ciji and I are having an affair! And I am not saying we're not having an affair. WHat I am saying is leave me alone to eat my tray of lasagna with meat sauce! I am feeding for two now. Daniel and Meg!! Shut up kids, this food is for Mommy!!"
- "Sweet Pea, please pass my autoharp. Mama wants to audition for Jeff Munson now!"
- "I've changed my mind...can we say that when I drove off the cliff it was all a dream and Karen can wake up and find me in the shower?"
- Please this thread is only about me, Laura Murphy Avery Sumner, aka Constance McCashin aka Dr. Constance McCashin aka Mushmouth and Pumpkin Puss aka Cabbage Patch Kid lookalike.
- I have now decided that when Fonzie Winkler calls me at the beauty salon next time to appear in the Knots Landing 40th Anniversary Special he is going to have to really sweeten his offer to make me appear.
- Why the hell is there a thread about this NOBODY named Constance McCashin when they could have a thread about me!!
- " I was never homeless!"
- SHut the FUck UP ANNE! I am the only one that had talent in that shitty group!!
- I wish you would all leave my best employee Laura Sumner alone! SHe spends all day on her knees sucking my tiny cock.
- "If you don't have anything nice to say then just SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
- I think I will become like Princess Diana to avoid gaining weight from these night binges.
- You are all sick evil twisted fucks. You will burn in hell for saying all this mean shit!!
- FUCK off SANDY DUNCAN!! You one eyed cocksucking Job Stealing CUNT!!
- I was the star of the show from the first episode! One day they will regret letting me go!!
- Has anyone seen my nose????
- I am tired of all these other hasbeens trying ride my coattails! THis thread is about ME! The One and Only Constance McCashin!! SO back the fuck off you has beens from my past on that awful Nighttime Soap. Now I gotta go order a pizza from that all night delivery service.
- I have no luck, Richard just woke up and he is telling me I can't order a pizza! He can be such a cheap crazy Jew! He's cheated on me, held me at gunpoint, ran off on me and the kids! And now he deprives me a pizza pie. It was from LIttle Caesars.....PIZZA PIZZA. I would give him half a slice and eat the remaining two pies myself.
- I'm not sure what happened here last night, but I can assure you it wasn't me.
- I am the real Constance McCashin. I swear it on my dozen Krispy Kreme Donuts!
- I am not a Cabbage Patch Kid! I was one of the stars of the PEANUT GALLERY from the Howdy Doody Show!!
- Nobody does good oral on my pussy like Laura Avery!
- "God Laura, why do you keep calling me Ciji? I look nothing like her you dumb bitch!"
- Constance McCashin eats SHIT!
- Enough of this nonsense already. I am the real Constance! Now leave me to my lunchables and coke.
- Fuck you Joan....I am so happy your Plastic Surgeon fucked up your face! You look like a damn Burn Victim. Did they have to remove you ass lips to put them on your face? Freak!!
- Why does your face look so smashed in? Any wonder they called in Donna Mills to be the petty one on that show?
- Joan of Ark (Van) ....get a life, get a new set of lips, and stay off my FUCKING THREAD!! I don't see a thread with your name on it BITCH!!
- Anonymous, Donna Mills spent her days on Knots Landing on her knees blowing David Jacobs! That's why she got hired and stayed on so long! And as far as my smashed in face, my face was run over by a dump truck. And I have issues keeping up my glasses...
- [quote]Ciji Dunne resting on the beach with seaweed all over me
Oh boy! Sushi!
- HA HA!!! SUSHI!!!!!!!! Ciji sleeps with the fishes!!
- Today's Catch of the day at Daniel Restaurant:
SUSHI ala Ciji
Prepared with seaweed and poontang.
- Did anyone here ever see the movie with Penny Marshall and John Ritter? In the movie, Constance and her pushed in face tried to outshine poor Penny!!
- Listen Laverne,
You had Shirley....I had Ciji.....in the end I was the greater star than you. Besides, you only got the tv series because your brother produced it!
- Stop, Stop, STOP!! John Pleshette here, how dare you say all these awful things about Constance. I had the pleasure of working with her greatness for four years as Richard her husband on Knots Landing. And for the record, she does have a smelly Vagina!!
- I thought I had to fart, instead I just shit myself.
- Constance please take an immodium AD.
- Hi Constance,
Donna Mills here. Please don't be jealous. Just because I'm almost ten years older than you and look way better than you do!
I rate you a one on the Abby scale.
- Constance, you are a freak. Please go join the AMerican Horror Story:Freak Show cast.
- I am so sick of everyone paying mind to Constance, I was on the show much longer than her and I do cry like a monkey!
- You got Meg Karen, stop your bitching already!
- Poor Val.....Poor Val! I'm not poor Val anymore!!!
- Laura, Honey child... Movin' into your house was bad luck. We's both ends up dyin' way too young girl!
- Oh Pat, you and Frank both died. Now Julie inherits my house! Tell that child to go shave her mustache and stop fucking Mack and Karen's adopted abused son!
- "Sweet Pea, Cathy and I were ontop of the roof with your brother Joshua. And I said to him "Son, stop blaming others for your faults! All I know is you have become a MONSTAH! Trampling on others. How could I have given birth to someone as COLD....as CRUEL as you are?"......and then Sweet Pea he just fell off the roof.
- "I want to be a Pollyanna! I don't want to look thru rose colored glasses! I want the world to BE ROSE COLORED!!!"
I never have to leave the house again!
- Hi Constance,
Dr. Ackerman, Pediatrician here. Wondering have you ever considered liposuction? I think that would be a wise thing to do with all the eating you do these days.
- Ha Ha Ann Jillian...I have reached over 100 posts to my Thread! Take that you Mae West Wannabe!!!
- Nutella is wonderful to eat on toast, crackers, cookies, bread, rolls. I am amazed how tasty it is.
- "Why can't you treat me like I am entitled to?? Meg, Why can't you treat me like you would any STRANGER ON THE STREETS!!!" Laura Avery Sumner
"Because I am not ONE OF YOUR FFFFFAAAANNNNSSS!" Meg
- Abby Cunningham is a home wrecker. She slept with my husband Richard, Val's husband Gary. She even slept with Karen's husband Sid, who just happens to be her Brother. What's with all these incest stories.
- Wow guys! I just tried to fart and I went and shit myself again.
I took my handy dandy ladle and scooped out my treasure and THAT with Nutella!
Its not half bad!
- Oh Constance you big shitter you!!
- Are you pooping Nutella?
- I am the wolf....BOOM BOOM...The Big Bad WOLF...BOOM BOOM....HELLO!
- FOrget Hershey squirts....I am on the NUTELLA HIGHWAY. Thank god Richard and Greg are into SCAT.
- Eat Shit and DIE!!!
- HARRY, they wanna take the babies!! Not to worry I have cousin Amy's gun and will shoot Val on the porch the way Amy shot poor Mary Jo.
- Oh hello everyone, Constance here, crunch crunch. Anyway, I am sitting here eating a turkey club with extra mayo and thinking....how did I get known for my closet eating. Truth be known....chew chew....Oh that pickle was so good. Anyway eating isnot my only passion. I also enjoy a good bowel movement and it so tasty too. It's just like candy. So why don't you join the thousands of Happy Peppy People.....
- Chapter One....TURDS.....
- Does anyone know the phone number for McDonalds. I am dying for two big macs, a large order of fries, a large milkshake, a carmel ice cream sundae with nuts, and two apple pies. Oh yeah and a diet coke, gotta cut calories where I can.
- Meg and Daniel, please be two dear children and fetch Mommie something to munch on. Like a bag of fritos, a large coke, some guacamole dip. Oh yeah, and some frankenberries too. I just crave something nutritious today. Thanks kids.
- Knock Knock
Lillimae Wiley Clements Rush that's who! Now open the fucking door Laura!!
- Can someone PLEASE think of an idea to hold up my glasses? THey keep falling off my flat, smooched in face. This is what happens when you're a breach birth baby. Now for some Gumdrops and ice cream.
- Ok, enough of these cruel nasty posts on here. As of now I want to tell everyone that I, COnstance McCashin am a LIVING LEGEND! I will not be bullied into appearing at any more Knots Landing special reunions. If Fonzie didn't scare me with his motorcycle then you shitheads sure don't!! Now for a nice big bowl of chilli with some M&M's to flavor it. Then Pickles and Ice Cream for Dessert!!
- Good Evening Constance,
Alfred Hitchcock here, inviting you to star in my new movie "FEEDING FRENZY". I think you will be perfect in my cast, as it is about a fading, aging has been actress that appeared as a minor character on a prime time soap in the 1980s. It's a take off on my movie Frenzy and Sunset Blvd with Gloria Swanson. I thought about you immediately since it's about a woman that can't stop eating to help fill the void from her stale, lackluster career. I'll have my people contact your people. (Meg and Daniel)
- Hi Constance,
Norman Bates here.
I am the manager of a motel in California, perhaps you have heard of it. The Bates Motel.
Anyway we need a spokesperson for our new TV ads and since you are no longer employed as an actor. I figure you can put down your twinkies and chocolate milk and head on over here to shoot the commercial. We offer deluxe accomodations like Showers and a nice dinner in my parlor office. FOC (Free of CHarge). I'll have my people (Mother) contact your people. (Daniel and Meg)
- Ok that's enough. This is APPALLING! Is this an institution of learning or a TEENAGE BROTHEL!!!
- But ya' are in that WHEEL CHAIR BLANCHE!!
- Did someone mention lips?
- I've had sufficient.
- Shut Up POLLYANA Karen!! You were wrong...RICHARD DID KILL CIJI!!! Instead you were so desperate to break up your ugly little cunty daughter Diana, so you framed Chip. Shame on you!! You are lucky I left my daughter in your care. Notice I sent back Jason and Daniel to live with my first husband Richard!! Remember him Miss Karen Fairgate Mackenzie..the SAME Richard that held me hostage while I was pregnant at GUNPOINT!! See..that ought to tell you something!
- I am what I am!!!
- Did someone order 45 cases of Bugles and a shovel?
- Thank you R127.
- Keep it up Connie, and the rest of you bitches! You all saw how I manhandled poor little Valene when she got out of line with me and I can do the same to all of you! From now on it's-----
KNOTS LANDING starring WENDY FULTON as JEAN HACKNEY
- Hello friends,
I want to say how much I enjoyed working with Laura Avery in Knots Landing. She was a delight except when we had scenes at Daniel's Restaurant. Then she would be rude and eat like a farm animal as I am singing my heart out on stage to impress Jeff Munson!! Then because she was licking her fingers in a suggestive way and looking at me, her loser husband and owner of Daniel Restaurant, Richard Avery assumed we were lesbians. I mean it's one thing to call Danny Thomas the L word. But not Laura and myself. Laura is allergic to Sushi. Besides, I was involved with Chip Roberts my manager and father of my unborn baby, Little Tony Fenice. OH and did I mention Chip bashed my head in and left my corpse lying on the beach covered in Sea Weed!