Today, I see..
"Well...today marks the beginning of Madyson's High School journey...I'll be there for you all the way...I love you."
Gross I hate that name and posts like that. I get so many of them!
My pussy says meeow!
"Ok, Ok, I am up.. Can I go back to bed now? Is it Friday yet? Where is Friday??"
OP - isn't it graduation season, not back to school?
Or is it because Madyson graduated from Middle school?
"SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT... If you cross the North Korean border illegally, you get 12 yrs. hard labor. If you cross the Afghanistan border illegally, you get shot. Two Americans just got eight years for crossing the Iranian border. If you cross the U. S. border illegally you get a job, a drivers license, food stamps, a place to live, health care, housing & child benefits, education, & a tax free business for 7 yrs ...No wonder we are a country in debt."
Who the hell knows, R4? The sentimentality of the post dovetails perfectly with the stupid spelling of her stupid name.
"Liv went to the dentist and didn't have a meltdown! She did so well. I'm so proud of her ♥"
"Tomorrow is the day! The 7th Annual Portland Maine Dyke March starts at 6:30 in Monument Square! Have you liked our page? Have you encouraged your friends and community members to like our page? Please do!"
"I support equal rights for all, but the right to live trumps all other human rights. That is why I won't be voting for Obama."
Barf-ola at all of these!
Shit like this is why I never open FB anymore and don't miss it. I had a FB "friend" who got married and her and the hubbie would talk back and forth on FB bragging about sitting next to each other and how in love they were. "Tee hee, aren't we cute?"
"It's truly remarkable how some good old fashioned sunshine can turn my frown upside down!"
My earrings look divine with this new caftan I'm wearing!
"Seriously, who in their right mind tries to rob a bank in Metropolis or Gotham? Or in the Marvel Universe, who really thinks they can get away with any crime in New York City. Between Iron Man, Spider-Man, The wolfman-I just can't fucking decide"
Nearly all my "friends" (except the intelligent ones) have posted some variation of this catch phrase.
Sports Fanatics Suck.
All from the same person. I stay FB friends with her because all her posts are cries for attention, either about illness in her family or some milestone one of her daughters has acheived:
"So, today is Laney's big day....she's graduating from my aunt's nursery school, Kiddie Korner. There won't be a dry eye there, especially when they sing a song at the end, starting with 'Goodbye dear friends, it's time to be moving along...' Reach for the stars, Sweet Girl!"
"The procedure itself went well yesterday.....kinda wild/nasty to hear the cartilage cracking as he dilated my passages with the balloon. We were done, then all of a sudden, the nausea, clamminess, room spinning started. I felt awful!!! Had to take Zofran, then I got sick. I guess my coloring was terrible-green. Had to stay an extra 2 hours until I felt better, and the MD himself and my Ralphie wheeled me out to the car. The culprit of all of this was the Vicodin I had to take before the procedure. NEVER EVER again will I take that stuff!!! However, the MD and his staff were wonderful:)"
"Happy Birthday to my Noni in Heaven."
"Happy Birthday to my cousin Jay who would have been 43 today.....miss you."
"Wishing Grandpa Bud a Happy Birthday in Heaven. We love you and miss you very much."
The one from the girl who got knocked up 18 years ago (at 17) and goes on to pat herself on the back for being able to give that baby life even though I was just a baby myself and then talks about what a struggle it was and how much they missed out on but they beat the odds and now they have a beautiful religious daughter and their whole family's faith in God has made the difference She's so happy her girl is going to college and now she's glad that she gets to be wild again in her 30s she can't imagine doing it like the rest of us dried up prunes who are having fertility problems.....Seriously...
In reality their rich as hell families PAID for everything, including an awesome house, set them up with a business, paid for nannies, private schools and a vacation home at the beach. They didn't miss many if any wild times and quite often hosted the parties in their sweet house while their kid was at grandmas, or auntie's or other auntie's. The husband cheats regularly and I'd consider it b/c he's hot but I've heard he's a microdick.
My favorite from today:
You fucking groupie bitches make me fucking sick. I will never understand how you could just fuck some random guy, who you know fucks different women every night (unprotected) and you not show an ounce of self respect or care for your well being. Disgusts me beyond belief.. All because he is the singer of a "big band". Not even the care or decency to use protection. On top of that, betray the guy back home that puts up with all your bullshit, is faithful to you, loves you and actually wants to fucking be with you. Pissed all away because you want to be objectified by some gross, old, dirty German singer? Not even having the decency to tell your partner, what you did. Are you going to put that on your resume? "Has fucked so and so of R_ _ _s_ _ _ _" like it's some fucking accomplishment? Brag to your fucking girl friends about how much of a whore you are? .. Your just another slut to spread her legs for Sunday's show and contract HIV. You are fucking filth. On top of that, you only tell certain people about it because you are to concerned to be perceived as the dirty, compulsive lying whore that you are.
My cousin's wife's posts read like a DL "I want to be underwhelmed" thread:
[quote]got a free Disney Cruise dvd, watched it and thought cool, would like to take the DIsney alaska cruise!! Maybe in the future in a few yrs... Its on my list of things to do
[quote]relaxing sunday afternoon at home, oh yea and of course laundry and cleaning day too
[quote]Just hung my flag for Memorial day weekend, hope it doesnt get blown down from the freakin winds...
"Its been a long day filled with tears and sorrow. Now sleep evades me for fear of what tomorrow will bring."
Which prompts dozens of people to say "OMG What's Wrong???" and such.
My sister throws up every meal since getting a Lap-Band and posts to Facebook her every vomissement.
R19 that's awesome.
So being lazy won in the contest of "what to have for dinner." Instead of cooking, it was Amato's for my partner and I. He had the Angus Steak and Cheese, and for me....Turkey Bacon Wrap.....now it's home for the night, and trying to figure out something to do.
Let this be a lesson: gay people can be JUST as boring as straight people...
Erik Rhodes died! I think I'm going to pass out!
R23, that wasn't all of it. There were a couple more paragraphs and 33 replies so far.
One of my FB friends is a fat, religious frau who posts about nothing but food and her fucking brats and her church. She posts about every meal she eats, usually with pictures.
Funnily enough, she was a goth type in high school who mocked me mercilessly. (I was a cheerleader, student government type.)
[quote]Did the walk of shame this morning and shared a place with 5 people. FIVE!!! Sadly as usual no real shame on this end. LOL. Being middle aged doesn't have all the perks one may actually "need". LOL. Now back to meetings as usual.
This guy is 34. Clearly fishing for compliments and wants his friends to say shit like, "OMG, you're not middle aged - shut up - you're young and gorgeous!" etc. And then he adds "LOL." Really? You made yourself laugh out loud?
Why are so many people obsessed with food and talking about it?
"Instant oatmeal is one thing but 24/7 NEWS is and information nonstop cannot be healthy for the mind. I hope I haven't contributed to the chaos but think It is possible"
It's just like "Amurrica", R29. The 'liberal media' is telling them all not to eat too much or they'll die, and telling them that America is a war loving oligarchy...and they translate that to mean "don't take my guns and food away, and bless the troops!"
See the thread on 'blue collar' republicans from today for more evidence.
This today from my hilarious, yet unhinged, old pal who has stopped getting DJ gigs.
"My life is so great! I get LOTS of money. I have so many friends - ha ha haaaa! I performed at the big event last night. Thanks to all you "peeps" who made it out last night. If you weren't there you missed the best event ever!!! Make sure you come back out next weekend it's gonna be a PHAT VIBE!!! We're so cool. I'm very intelligent and wise, philosophical and profound. I know everything."
"Let's start a prayer avalanche!!!!!!! We all need prayers right now... If I don't see your name, I'll understand. May I ask my "FB Family" wherever you may be to kindly copy, paste and share this status for one hour to give a prayer of support to all those who have family problems, health, struggles and worries ...... and just ... need ... to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us for no-one is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will!! I did it for a friend and you can too. Share some faith and love to those in need. God works in mysterious ways!"
"Saturday night dinner: Red Lobster or Olive Garden?"
"Great, eclectic company of many fine writers ... & best of all recognizing that my wordgift is alive and well."
r32, is that a parody?
Yes, R36. He was being sarcastic, of course.
"Grocery shopping is much quicker when you only shop in the fresh produce and gluten free aisles."
"I'm sure most get tired of reading about other peoples kids but I don't care, I'm still going to post how proud I am of my Son. Seventh grade is in the rear view mirror, and a very successful year it was. Trevor made honors all four quarters and in two of those quarters he made high honors. Great work little buddy, so very proud of you."
I like your friend, r32!
"Gonna miss my girls! What a wonderful group of ladies. Lots of laughs and no banjo snaps!"
"I'm Mr he's TOO big, now he's TOO thin."
- This is true. He used to be fat as fuck anow he looks like an Auschwitz survivor. So thin, gross, and he looks old. He looked so much better with some weight.
Me too, R32 's friend is funny.
"None of you are my true friends."
Running a test to see who reads my posts. I realize this is about 4 of you. If you read this leave me a one word comment about your shoes. ONLY ONE WORD. Then copy and paste this to your wall so I can leave you a word. Don't just post a word and not copy and paste, that's no fun!
"Leo is a leopard gecko and a handsome one at that. He likes crickets and would like a new home. Come meet and adopt Leo today. "
R33, my Wiccan friend reformatted that one today to read:
"For my friends who are going through some issues right now (and that includes almost everyone): Let's start a thought avalanche. We all need supportive thoughts right now. If I don't see your name, I'll understand. May I ask my "FB Family", wherever you may be, to kindly copy, paste and share this status for one hour to lend compassionate thoughts of support to all those who have family problems, ...health issues, struggles, sundry worries and just plain need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us, for no one is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will!! I did it for a friend and you can too. Share some warmth, love, and healing for all in need. Thank you, and blessings to you during the advent of the GREAT SHIFT IN CONSCIOUSNESS. Ascension begins now, in your hearts and mind."
Going to go enjoy some meditation time and relax into the moment.
I am blessed and look forward to sharing more and more with you all!
I forgot how much I enjoy a Tom Collins beverage on a summer might.
Happy Pride too all my mo's love ya all
Dinner Fail! It'll be a pizza and movie night!!
Some of the corny ones posted here are the most grim...
You see similar things under classic pop songs on youtube...stuff like:
'My Dad loved this song. We played it at his funeral this morning. I may have lost you, Dad...but I'll always have this song to remind me of you'.
Then you get a dozen 'warm' responses.
I'm out of college and still use Facebook
"My period blood formed the image of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ on my Maxi pad!"
Followed by 7 Mobile Uploads.
This fb "friend" is always trying to sound smarter and deeper than she actually is. She married up and is forever trying to come across as the posh upper class wife she isn't. So her fb friends are always being subjected to this sort of crap:
"I'd like to thank David and Brian for a marvellous evening at a stellar restaurant. What wonderful company, such stimulating conversation. Big hearty laughs, suburb wine, and a cheeky joke or two. Adam and I are honored to have you in our life. Until next time, my sweet friends, good night."
I would unfriend her but I enjoy mocking her too much.
You can take the girl out of the trailer...
from my ghetto cousin i met through facebook
miami lesbian who now has a girlfriend so almost everything is about her boo bae or some stupid hashtag
Team Us Bitches Get On Board!!! #BooBae
Shawty is so good to me!!! #TrueStoryTeamUs
"FAITH IS A MOFO"
Love me some head and I love a woman who like to do it!!! Dolla bill on top of Dolla bills that's all I'm throwing I know if she won't lil mama will!!!
There's no more loneliness and heartache or crying myself to sleep...#FaithTeamUs
This ones for all the Boo Bae HATERS!!!! #TeamBOOBAE
(song: Jagged Edge - Promise)
This one goes out to Me and my Boo Bae because we just can't get enough of each other....#TeamUs
(song: Usher - You Got it Bad)
Already Missing my Boo Bae.... :( #TeamUsBitches!
The Boo Bae.....*exhale and smilez* #TeamUs
Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! Boo Bae!! #TeamUs #BOL
OP is fake.
What I find weird is the juxtapositions. 'Mmmm, made chocolate brownies today!" next to "Rest in peace, Mom."
Defriended a woman who posted Psmela Geller all the time.
OMG, R57 just made me morning!
I also appreciate R57.
i stay friends with her because i want to see the ensuing meltdown because u know it's going to happen soon. then she'll start with the niccas and hoes shit!
Please tell me she's white, R57, and I will love you forever.
"...Mkay.. let me get this straight...It is perfectly fine to have an OBAMA sticker on the wall of your cube but NOT the LORD'S PRAIR?"
editors note: despite complete cult like devotion to Christo-Psycho speak the silly bitch can't spell prayer.
oops update @ 9:46.
a number of her FB friends pointed out she mispelled prayer and her response:
"to all the haters out there who were soooo quick to point out I mispelled "prayer" just want ya to know that GOD MADE ME PERFECT AS I AM IMPERFECTIONS AND ALL. It was a slip of the keyboard. I know how to spell prayer and I KNOW HOW TO DO IT TO!
and in response to one snarky comment:
"So you can thank me later for praying for you now. MOCKING is a sin, btw for those of you who care about sin."
I have known her since gradeschool and trust me she will be having a week long meltdown over this.
"Maybe the fundamental right to bear arms will be the thing that brings us all together."
that's some "slip of the keyboard."
[quote] to all the haters out there who were soooo quick to point out I mispelled "prayer"
Someone should point out to her that she also misspelled "mispelled."
Very excited to have my kids with me this weekend :) Beach Day tomorrow !!
(Some chick from my h.s. class who I didn't know well. Seems like she doesn't have custody of her 3 kids, except on weekends. The "beach" turned out to be a reservoir.)
So mad!!!! Rebeccas bike was stolen again this year!! They stole it right off my gated deck! I reported it to the police and he wasnt compassionate at all! He told me, things have changed around here! I told him "maybe some more patrol would be wise back here" He said " Mam, We cant be everywhere!!! WTF I contacted the Tatamy police where her old bike from last year was stolen! He was awesome and told me He would look through the records and if he couldnt locate her old bike, she could come up and pick out a bike that they have in storage!!! Shame on you Wilson Borough Police!!! For not being compassionate or helpful!!!!!!!!
R71's friend loves multiple exc points!!!!!
Taking a shit.
- Sent from my iPhone
For R58, that post, I admit, sounds fake. But it's all too real.
Here's a screen shot for you...where I've whited out the posters' names.
more from r71:
Update for Rebeccas eye appointment!!! Yes, She does have the eye disease of the cornea, we feared!!! The eye dr said he was able to fit her for a new pair of glasses with his special machines and tests in Princeton!! In two months, before school, He will see her again and access her condition! He said she is going through this at a younger age then seen! Hes keeping a good eye on her and he was honest that soon it would be advisable for her to have surgery to preserve her eye sight! Plz Keep praying for her and I will keep you all updated!!!!
R64 sorry, she is black.
Cause Of You I'm On Some Real Fuck A Bitch Shit!!! #StayTune
Getting ripped the Fuck Off and these niggas around me act like they don't know what the Fuck to do!!! #PussyAssNiccas!!
It's hump day and I feel like humping!! #TMI
To Whom It May Concern,
Who in the Fuck is concerned?!!!! #FuckIt!!!!
Baby I'm out here doing what I gotta do for me and you, and we eatn so Bitch why the Fuck is you tripin!!! #Throwback
Every Nicca in the hood wanna Fuck my lady...waiting for me to slip so they can grip my baby....Making Love To The Money!!! #Gucci
After I saw this one, I hid this person from my feed:
"now I know that that return of The Lord Jesus is even closer than we think...When a kid gets expelled from his school for wearing a shirt that reads, "Life is Waisted Without Jesus!"...how crazy is that! just due to "hurt feelings" we are loosing our freedom as christian believers...but Jesus did say that in the last days we would be hated for our faith..."
"A person that I once knew for nearly half my life ceased to be my friend on the soul bases that we are now "2 different" to be friends any longer. And yet at one time "adopted" me as" her sister" and even" made up" the adoption papers to make it" even more permenant". But the thing is my real sister would never do this to me-i mean just walk out of my life."
"I am excited about the fact that I recently became a mary k consultant..."
Naturally. Incidentally, her mom was an Avon lady.
Aw...I feel kind of bad for R70s friend.
To Whom It May Concern,
Who in the Fuck is concerned?!!!! #FuckIt!!!!
I love this.
God, the spelling on these posts makes me weep for humanity.
Rebecca's mom and the ghetto dyke should get together and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! each other til there's only one standing
[quote]God, the spelling on these posts makes me weep for humanity.
I'm all agog that this is the tripe your "friends" post on FB; and I have no doubt that you DLers post the same type of inanities. At least it's marginally amusing in a rather pedestrian manner.
I don't do FB and this reinforces why. I had no idea it was so bad.
[quote]You fucking groupie bitches make me fucking sick. I will never understand how you could just fuck some random guy, who you know fucks different women every night (unprotected) and you not show an ounce of self respect or care for your well being. Disgusts me beyond belief.. All because he is the singer of a "big band". Not even the care or decency to use protection. On top of that, betray the guy back home that puts up with all your bullshit, is faithful to you, loves you and actually wants to fucking be with you. Pissed all away because you want to be objectified by some gross, old, dirty German singer? Not even having the decency to tell your partner, what you did. Are you going to put that on your resume? "Has fucked so and so of R_ _ _s_ _ _ _" like it's some fucking accomplishment? Brag to your fucking girl friends about how much of a whore you are? .. Your just another slut to spread her legs for Sunday's show and contract HIV. You are fucking filth. On top of that, you only tell certain people about it because you are to concerned to be perceived as the dirty, compulsive lying whore that you are.
Damn, I'd be a groupie for Til Lindemann.
A little something for all my mom friends and most importantly those who like myself have made their Children their careers. I love you Haylee!
"Just a mom?! I can’t stand it when people say, “You’re JUST a mom?” with their annoying gestures. “ Yes! I am a mom!” (and a Damn good one!) That makes me an alarm clock, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, nurse, referee, handyman, security officer, photographer, counselor, chauffeur, event planner, hairdresser, personal assistant, ATM & I scare away the boogie man or any ghosts that haunted my kids at night. I don’t get any paid holidays, sick pay or days off. I work DAY & NIGHT. I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life. That’s just BEING A MOM! I may not be anything to you, but I am everything to someone. Enough said."
So here I am...could have slept in. 1st load of laundry done...waiting for Cait to wake up so we can do some Mom/Daughter time. I'll can probably get a nap in before she wakes up...lol
Dear Rotten Tomatoes,
You can shove it.
The Rock of Ages (Movie) was outstanding.
Not watching the Wallenda wire walk. Still have nightmares from watching his grandpa Karl fall to his death.
Hey people, I hear you commenting in my awesome tattoo. I wore this halter top for a reason, please feel free to praise it to my face!
The first awesome thing of the day, I used my Helium gift certificate towards some Patton Oswalt tickets on June 30th!! Hells yeah. Second awesome thing, Animal Collective tickets go on sale Friday for the Crystal Ballroom!!! I am so excited I am almost phosphorescent. Next awesome part of today, Brianna Ayres Seethoff and I have a dinner and movie date with Johnny Depp and Dark Shadows.
Beatrice the butterfly is gone. Either she got enough rest, Reiki and Honeysuckle to give her renewed life or she got picked off by a bird. Either way I guess it's better than getting run over by a car but we are still sad to see her gone. Daizee is now asking for another pet butterfly.
[quote] Next awesome part of today, Brianna Ayres Seethoff and I have a dinner and movie date with Johnny Depp and Dark Shadows
that Brianna person is rather bizarre too. Check out the lovely little page she set up for her fetus
I am signing this petition because I myself believed the lie that I was born a lesbian. Now after 20 years of identifying as a lesbian, a self-proclaimed butch, I have come out of homosexuality and my attractions are once more towards the opposite sex. The truth needs to be made known that homosexuality is not innate. If it was, myself and others could not have successfully come out of it.
"If you lower your standards... Happiness will stare you straight in the face"
"When am I going to learn??? Some people never change. Fool me twice shame on me!!"
Then, I guess we were all supposed to comment either publicly or by private message to her in-box. I certainly didn't.
This chick seems to be living in a strange cut-throat world of hairstylists down South somewhere, I think one of her exes is stalking her or something.
"Merlot take me away!"
Next awesome thing of the day, my dog ate a butterfly. So cool!!
r19, if that's Tal Lindemann (sp?), I'd fuck him too. Fifty years old and built like hell.
This is exactly why FB is dead. It's been invaded by Iowa and vapid millenials.
Good lord, not only lesbian drama, but *hoodrat* lesbian drama. Please post back with updates-this could make Michfest look like a Rotary club meeting.
I talked to my babydaaddy today omg he said he cumming home I love me some him..free _____ out dem gates
I don't like Subway, but I go there once a week so the girl who was awful to me in high school can make my fucking sandwich.
I feel a strong connection to waitresses because most of them have also been yelled at by my mother.
Can babies really not eat popcorn or are they just being dramatic?
Are one of you guys going to write 50 Parades of Gay, or you going to make me do it?
I love spending time outside in a video game.
You say "tomato," I say "locally grown heirloom tomato" and drive away in a Prius blasting Arcade Fire.
Just got ignored by the bartender. Now I know exactly how Jay-Z's other kids feel.
r96 and r98 - Woops! Forgot to block out fetus woman's name. I feel strangely titilated.
Today: completely humiliated...
Likely due to losing 10 lbs of weight today & my recently quadrupled blood pressure meds, I've been getting very dizzy/woozy after dialysis lately... Even after waiting an hour to feel decent afterwards, I had an accident...
Due to brightness, lightheaded ness, & low blood pressure, I rode my bike off the 4" curb of the bike path, onto the seven foot gravel embankment, and rolled the bile 1 1/2x into a chain link fence... It landed on top of me & was removed by a few kind trail users... Two bloody elbows, ripped jeans, & bloody knee... Normal 15 minute trip took over 2 1/2 hours...
Truly feel lower than low right now... Need to feel better ASAP...it's crazy, stupid, laughable, frightening, sad, pathetic, insane, and keeping me from doing simple things...
I don't like this emotion, but I truly hate this...
Every day he has a new malady to express...
Another restless night. Blergh. I'm stressed about finding a home for a puppy that doesn't have any connection to me, but I feel compelled to help him. This is why I got burnt out on working in shelters and animal rescue... It's uber stressful trying to right other people's wrongs, most especially when innocent lives hang in the balance.
I can't wait to go to some new breweries with you. I love how you always find new things and places that have open houses and special deals that we can afford. you are the coolest wife ever, I love you. Especially when you find these new breweries to go to and you don't even drink beer, that is just awesome.
It's amazing how many people are ready for the zombie apocalypse.
Came home for lunch. Found the cat laying in bed, listening to Adele.
[quote]Let's Post Stupid Shit from our FB Feed!
Ugh, lets not.
R113, I was gonna let it die peacefully...but since you chimed in...here are some more!
"worked just under 60 hours this week... I'll be sleeping til tuesday. night!"
"My Last.fm activity for 2012/06/11 to 2012/06/18"
"It's that time again, Nite Nite to all.. Say your prayers, got ya in mine. I am going to round up my two pups sleeping at my feet and head em to bed with me. I am thankful to be home from driving cross country, and now working at home. I pray I never have to leave again. just me being thankful for what I have"
I better have my rig back in one piece come tomorrow morning. They wont be lending my truck out again, you can bet your sweet ass on that. I ripped into a dispatcher about it today, and then asked him if I could come barrow his car. That posted his ass in a standstill . By George I think he got it.lol.
Got one more person to hammer out on this issue tomorrow as well. My shit is in that rig, and so is my co-drivers. Lets see if the PM got done on it as well, since they decided to let someone drive it over the weekend. I and my co-drive have been disrespected by them without regard of who we are and our stuff. BS! Now the heat is on.
As the story turns, tune in tomorrow for the rest of the story.
Pissed Off Trucker..
Had to take my cat Phoebe to the vet......the vet said it could be one of three things....Hypoglycemia, minor stroke, or asthma......I'm just hoping whatever it is passes and she is alright. To me, she's not just a cat, she's my kid, my friend, and my constant companion.
"omg!! I friggin loved...loved Rock of Ages...sooooo good!!! The soundtrack is gonna rock...and Tom Cruise did a pretty decent job...not gonna lie..started actually finding him sexy towards the end...hahaha...Top Gun didn't do it for me...but this sure did...;) WARNING...while it is rated PG I strongly suggest kids under 16 not see it...night all and ROCK ON!!! ;)"
I want updates on the pissed off trucker and the lesbian in the hood.
[quote]I feel a strong connection to waitresses because most of them have also been yelled at by my mother.
As Facebook inanities go, that one's kind of funny.
"The beach with a stack of delicious library books, plus yoga & naps, have restored my heart."
IDC IDC Justin's new album will prove all his haters wrong!!!! Amazing!!! BELIEBER AND PROUD *HEARTSHAPE*
One of my brothers does a stupid ass Facebook post as parody under the guise of writing his autobiography in the form of Facebook posts.
Here is his latest one and I am changing his name.
[quote]"I was shocked to find that beneath the blood and poop was a fetus. I didn't simply have a stomach bug. I had miscarried my son." - excerpt from Joe Smith's autobiography
He also does a fake mom blog post every once in a blue moon.
[quote] [Came home for lunch. Found the cat laying in bed, listening to Adele.]
That cat had obviously just gone through a bad breakup. We've all been there.
"Humbled in living showing Greatful Gratitude in Action everyday is something to live by! It might not be perfect, but it sure is beautiful."
" Marriage is created and defined by God in the Scriptures as the sexual and covenantal union of a man and a woman in life-long allegiance to each other alone, as husband and wife, with a view to displaying Christ’s covenant relationship to his blood-bought church." Piper this past Sunday
A friend from high school posted a stupid Dr. Seuss type of rhyme which was pro-Conservative, filled with words like "healthcare scam", "crooks like Nan" (presumably Nancy Pelosi), etc
Posting the weather forecast from their fucking iPhones. As if I give a fuck.
[Just got ignored by the bartender. Now I know exactly how Jay-Z's other kids feel.]
This is more clever than 99% of DL's Wit & Wisdom.
"Poke me with a fork....I'M DONE!!! almost 11 hrs on my feet is MORE than enough.....I need a spa day!"
PA: Setting records all across the board!! Miami won the championship and BOO BAE has OFFICIALLY BN DUMPED!!! #IDontChaseThemIReplaceThem-->OnToTheNextBitches
[response to news of a rekindled relationship that I know is a cynical move to get in the girl's pants during a limited period of time]
Today's update from my hilarious cousin, the Pissed Off Trucker (per request):
"Yesterday day was a great run. I decided to leave early due to traffic. It worked great being able to leave early, but try explaining it to dispatch. With the death toll at 462 as of yesterday. I explained it to my Fleet Manager that my life was more important.
One hour made such a difference going and coming. No traffic, in and out. Well, Mr. Dispatcher, figure that one out. He was amazed how early I made it back. Heck, it isn't rocket scientist.
They put my partner under a load he should have never been put under, and now he may not make it back again. If you can't run us right then why do you even have this account? Now i get screwed on my load if I get to run. Like getting home at 4 in the morning when I should be home no latter than Midnight. They load they got me under is going to cut it close. We are not Over The Road Drivers, we are Net Ops with spacial hours we were hired to work.
My Fleet Manager is trying to find me a different load. He needs too, or he is going to hear it from me some more.
What a Morning
I am starting to hate driving."
Here was her morning message yesterday...
Well it is hump day, lets see what today brings my way. I am up, pups are up, inside critters are fed. I got my coffee in hand. Listening to the puppies running around the house like killer dogs they are. Play time is on.
When i got ready for bed they moved in on me, took it over with little room to spare. I go to roll over and I get a ball in my back and a cow head at my butt. When did my bed become a toy box?
They finally settle down, one at my feet and one at my belly. Sleep at last .. Man how that flew by, 8 AM grrrrrrrrrrr
Looks like another hot day in GA.
Maybe I will get to work today. I will soon find out. A nice run to York Alabama would be nice. Just wishful thinking I guess. Normally I get the pleasure of heading to Nashville. I don't mind the drive, just the drivers. It's all good, I got the word that they are looking for a Safety Specialist. I asked my friend if she thought I would be able to deal with the people inside the office. Her reply, " I don't think Jeff and I have enough money for Bail." She has a point there, as funny as it sounds. So, I did the right thing, I applied for the position. LMAO no, really I did, going to talk to office management to see what i need to do to get the job. Here, it isn't what you know, it is who you know. Among other things. I do qualify according to policy, but that book went out the window with that crew. We will see what happens.
My morning so far.
cousin of Pissed Off Trucker
R141, does your cousin know you're posting his comments about getting better loads on a gay website?
R143, she's a 50 year old tiny little Georgia lady, my cousin. And if I told her of my posting this she would probably love it...as pissed off as she is, she's got a great sense of humor about herself.
She also runs a goat farm, and has horses and dogs.
"I'm hungry"....go and eat then.
Why am I still awake... Can sleep! Ugh
It going to be exactly two weeks today when I start my 1st week of holidays. I would prefer to say, ten working days instead of 14days!! :)
What is suburb wine?
A typo for superb, R148.
Yes, it's a typo for superb. I was the one who posted my "friends" status update. To be fair her spelling isnt usually the problem, it's her ridiculous hallmark-like status updates.
Her latest post is "when old friends get together, time stands still. A truely beautiful afternoon with a treasured friend. I'm so proud of you. It is simply a delight to call you friend. Thank you for the laughs. An afternoon to remember with a darling girl" Ugh, gag.
She didn't address anyone in particular, she just posted it as her status update. My guess is her friend isn't even on fb.
And all this time I though Suburb wine as some hillbilly swill.
Rest assured R151 that if it were hillbilly swill she would be far too pretentious to drink it. She now gets plastered on the good stuff.
[quote]____Is grateful for every last person at my children's ministry meeting who spontaneously volunteered to do every last thing I don't have the capacity to do right now. God.Will.PROVIDE ; )
Straight from my former co-workers' feed:
hello world .... this is a cry for help to any one out there who really and truely gives a teeny bit about me. some may call this me craving attention or being a drama queen but this is what i have to say ... call it what you will! I know i have not always been the person i wanted to at times and have repeatedily at times failed each and everyone of you. I know this is true because i have finally done it to myself. I know that it may be too late to make a change once again but that is the consequences i have chosen. Im not asking for a handout from you. I am simply asking for a helping hand ... I want out and away from this life I have chosen. Despite others mindset i DO have dreams and DO want more than this bottom feeder life. I know some things arent fixable but my life i refuse to let go of, not like this. I made a promise to my mother and I need your help fullfilling it. I want to make a change but i need your help i dont care about me enough to do it for myself. But i will do it for the ones i love as we all know i ef myself out of alot to benefit those around me because of whatever reason so im asking you this .... If i have ever done anything for you anything at all .... please please do this for me and help me out this time guys. I dont have shit to offer anymore but i do have my word. I love you guys bottom line id rather have the memories i have of us than not have any at all ...... love haley
R154 what sort of "helping hand" does Haley want? Cash? Someone to pay for her to go to rehab? For her former co workers to organize an intervention?
If it's drugs can't she just check into a rehab centre? I don't get this "cry for help"
I didn't get it either. She knows what she means though - bless her heart! I'm thinking perhaps money/job help. She got a lot of responses and phone numbers. All I know is that she is on probation; the people close to her must know the details. She is only about 21; I suspect she had a thug fetish that got her involved in some shady stuff.
Context r154? What's Haley's damage?
I love the ghetto lesbian and the truck driver! You had me at puppies "fuck a bitch shit."
Also, maybe someone should start an "Let's Post Awesome Shit from our FB Feed!" thread.
From my feed:
"scoot is dirty butt running again, riding tonite LOLOLOLOLOLOL"
"W: "Mommy! You die on cross?!?" Me: "No. That would be Jesus." ;)"
I love when someone posts about a friend or family member that done 'em wrong, and then a bunch of other friends and family members weigh in and either agree or give the person shit for airing stuff on FB. I've actually learned a lot about my family this way.
Another thing I love is when some sad sack posts that it was their birthday that day, and then like only one of their FB friends 'likes' it.
There's a reason why I don't post on my wall, or let others post on it. Or why I don't post on other peoples' walls.
This morning, from the world of "Pissed off Trucker":
It's pretty bad when you don't want to go to work because your job sucks. I like doing what I do, just not dealing with assholes, dumbasses, race care drivers that shouldn't be on the road, Super Trucker, who doesn't really understand what the true meaning of what it means. Just that his truck goes faster then everyone else and he has all right to the roads, even the lane you are in ahead of him. Yup, that is Super Trucker.
Then we have dispatchers that only worry about the load getting there on time. Not that traffic is at a dead stand still, not that your run is impossible to make. Just do it. Hahahah, Then they met me.
That's a story of it's own. If I can't run it, I shut down, if I can't haul it I wont.
Then you got the off road idiots that have no clue on how the laws of the roads go, only their own. Getting where they need to go and in a hurry.
I only want at arrive safely, and on time.
Oh, and lets not forget the pay. OMG! I know all truckers will stand behind me on that one. IT JUST SUCKS!
So, for all those who love their jobs, your blessed. For all those who don't understand the bullshit that is involved in getting your items you buy to you. Well, wake the F up, it isn't always easy.
There are good, bad and stupid in all walks of life. Chill out, enjoy the ride to work, and don't cut the big ones off. If a big one cuts you off, I am sorry. Oh, and when they turn the blinker on, it still means they need to move over in that direction. Don't try to run up the side of a rig when they are moving over. They have a right to use the highways too. You many not win that battle. And for what reason would you do it? Maybe gain a second or two. That is about a stupid as it sounds. There are bad truckers out there I know, and no, they shouldn't be on the roads, nor should 4 wheelers who act just as bad. SHARE THE ROAD YA"LL, it isn't that hard to do.
By the way, the death toll on Tennessee Highways were 467 as of Sat. morning on my way home. Pretty bad when they have to post it. As they say, there's your sign.
hating my job.
BOO BAE IS BACK BIATCH! that was me :-). here are some recent posts from my ghetto cousin's facebook
Cousin: Get betta baby....#boobae
Friend 1: Look here Erica Cane...is this a new boo bae or is the old one back in the picture because you are about to make me a member of #teamconfused
Cousin: BOL!! It's the same boo Bae...#YouKnowHowTheGameGo
BOL I shit on bitches like you!!! #ImTheReasonTheseBitchesScreamingFuckHer
Cousin: Diamonds are forevaz she my Bitch forevaz!!!
Friend 2: Didn't you say that about the last chick?
Cousin: Same person boo..
Fuck Jose Canseco!!! #Snitch
_______,I think I can speak for both of us and say, we are both too fierce not to be fucking fabulous. Fight the good fight pretty lady. Make it sparkle. Smooshes to you coming from the NW.
The devil doesen't want to meess with me if you believe in God you have to believe in satin God gives me strength pic youir friends wisley
r163 - I have one person who posts shit like that, but I hid her from my feed. She's someone I knew when we were young kids, but never in person as adults. How do you know your scary fundie?
R164, knew her from grade through high school. She was huge slut and dumb as box of rocks. She ended up in the Military at age 30.
I think she posts while drunk.
NObama 2013 (posted by a dipshit cousin of mine; several people replied to her saying that THIS year is an election year unless she was hoping Obama would be reelected and then impeached)
Slowed this morning waaaay down in order to stabilize. The OCD italian violin player became violent on the bus. Claiming, "bullshit!" to the lady talking to her child on the phone who was away from home. Raspberry sound and then "Bullshit! People are bullshit!" He was told to get off the bus. Many passengers came to the support of the mother and without saying so tried to banish the bad vibes from the morning bus. We all got to hear the proud mom talk about missing her son who is on a trip visiting his grandparents and traveling from Disneyland to Arizona for a native american feast with his tribe in Arizona. The boy was excited about the manly ritual of slaughtering a lamb for the feast. I stopped at my recent favorite smooshy morning coffee place downtown Portland, Stella and then rode the bus the rest of the way listening to Liquid Swords. My fairy godfather, or rather generous co-worker gave me the $20 "bonus" he likes to give me "to go out and get some cocktails" on him.
"I don't care what anybody says, being a stay ay home mom is the HARDEST job there is! It takes one hell of a woman to do it, for sure! I give props to all the stay at home moms because I know how hard it really is!!! This mama needs some prayers to get through the rest of the night! Please and thanks"
In Brooklyn: Mile 7, around 12:20 pm, there is a cheering station at 4th Ave. and Baltic. We run up 4th ave and I will be on the left (west) side of the street.
In Manhattan: Mile 17 around 2:25 pm, cheering station at 75th and 1st Ave., also on the left (west) side.
A sweet girl I went to school with seems to have had twin girls at age 42-43. She was a nice girl in school, and I liked her, but one of the girl's names is "Ryleigh". Oy.