Giving change to homeless people, what do you when you give change and they tell you
'Is that all?'
'coffee is $1.30'
'It's not enough'
Am I being too cheap?
You're being a trolling attention whore but I bet your mom already told you that.
[quote]You're being a trolling attention whore
You're being a homophobic transphobe misogynistic racist ogre troll with sociopathic tendencies living in a hell of self loathing and unresolved anger issues towards sex workers.
All these actually happened to me, and I'm wondering if it has happened to anyone else.
I don't give them change anymore, ever.
It's a short term solution. Better to donate to proven social programs that help people get off the streets.
Well I just notice that people are getting really aggressive. I was kind of shocked today when this woman said I didn't give her enough for a cup of coffee!
Another time someone approached me for change for food. I had a candy bar in my bag, and offered it to that person. He just walked away and asked someone else for change.
Our city alderman, thankfully, used to be a social worker. He's very hardline on supporting and encouraging people to work for long term solutions.
Street panhandling does nothing for them, and there are resources for them to have a place to sleep and food. I do understand the complexities that addiction and/or mental illness can present to prevent them from using those resources….but giving them change leaves them forever in denial and trains them to manipulate other people.
I used to give money on occasion. I no longer do.
Bengali in Platforms
I use to give them money but after experiences like the OP's I gave up.
I never give the money.
Once, ages ago I would see a homeless man at the end of the freeway exit every day on my way to work. One day I gave him one of my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I made for snack and lunch.
I never saw him again after that day.
I recently moved to a new city and the homeless people here are fucking jerks and I swear they target me. They will posture themselves in intimidating ways and try to scare you. I had one guy asked me to buy him food. I was in a hurry and said I'd grab him something while I bought my coffee. Apparently that wasn't good enough and he had a specific restaurant he expected me to run to. Do I look like an errand boy? No more.
tell them to go get a job and see how that goes.
I simply say, "No, thank you."
Being able to spare change is a privilege - an opportunity to pat yourself on the back while doing little to help.
I don't think it does harm, but it is melodrama.
I'm disabled and live on less than 800 dollars a month. I always give a quarter to someone who asks. That could easily be me someday. Life must be nice for those who know it could NEVER be them. I've never had anyone get nasty or say it's not enough or say anything but thank you. Yes I know a quarter isn't much but to me it is. I think before I spend a dime as after I pay my rent I have $40.00 left for everything else for the entire month.
I know the person asking might spend it on drugs or drink instead of food but that is their business. Who the hell am I to judge how someone else lives his or her life. What if they have a pet they're trying to feed? What if they're saving up to buy a pair of shoes or a blanket? My father taught me when you give anything you give with your heart. That means no conditions.
OP, you know to never give them another cent. They have no right to your money... anything you give them is generosity on your part. To show zero appreciation and to be so rude? Fuck them. They can go to the shelter.
One time, I was walking through the city late at night with a friend who had a system for giving money on the street - he'd donate his spare change until he'd run out for the week. These 2 teenaged guys approached us and very nicely asked for change, and he replied 'sorry, I don't have any' for both of us ... the teens waited until we were a few feet away and then one of them called out 'Learn to talk like a man!'
I was walking outside during lunch, after purchasing a couple apples from a fruit vendor. This beggar asked me for money, which I don't do anymore, and went on about how hungry he was. I handed him one of my apples and he went into a rage, screaming I DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKIN ' TEETH ASSHOLE!
[quote] I know the person asking might spend it on drugs or drink instead of food but that is their business.
No, that's called 'enabling.'
I like the ones that ask "Can I have $ 100 ?'. I still say no and keep walking, but it's nice that they have a sense of humor about their begging.
You're really not helping them at all by giving them money. Temporary fix (if they're even using it for something other than buying drugs or alcohol). I might give them food if I happened to have it If they don't want it, that's their fucking problem. Try and sell THAT.
I give champagne to the homeless people.
It's quite well received.
Lol@ r9. Cracks me up. WW.
W&W for R9 ? He's a MURDERER
peanuts wound .......
The homeless are very uncool.
There's one that stands by the stop light of a busy intersection, and holds up a sign that says "50 cents or best offer!"
It made me smile so I gave him a buck.
I had some similar experiences, op. I no longer make the effort to give to them. I'm sorry.
When I give money to "homeless people," I give them more than change, so it hasn't been an issue.
If someone asks me for change or a dollar or two and I have I give it . Why not?
There is a spot at a traffic light there is always someone asking for money. Once I started to give the man something until I read his sign that said I will work for food...
I used to give until Dateline or some similar show did an expose and revealed the actual lifestyle of the beggars. They were raking it in. One family was making in the six figures and this was more than 10 years ago. These folk often work in teams and pull their cash together like a full-fledged business. Anyone else remember this episode?
That said, I do find it difficult not giving them money. My heart twinges every time.
They usually say "God bless you."
Giving change to homeless people is stupid. All it does is perpetuate the problem of homelessness.
Homeless people and beggars can be two different things. I've seen beggars get dropped off by their 'pimp' or whatever the overlord is called.
[quote]I know the person asking might spend it on drugs or drink instead of food but that is their business. Who the hell am I to judge how someone else lives his or her life. What if they have a pet they're trying to feed? What if they're saving up to buy a pair of shoes or a blanket? My father taught me when you give anything you give with your heart. That means no conditions.
You're a fool.
[quote]Who the hell am I to judge how someone else lives his or her life.
Judging them is not the same thing as throwing your money away. You can buy them alcohol or you can donate that money to a food pantry. You be the judge.
I once had a woman who asked me for change claim it wasn't enough. She still had my money on her palm when I snatched it off and told her to forget getting anything. My work in social services has stopped me from giving money because as other's stated it does not help long term. The one thing I can't do is deny anyone who claims they are hungry so I've bought more than a few meals or cups of coffee.
You have to realize that a whole bunch of these beggars are scammers. If they can tug at your heartstrings they will. Just remember, when you walk away and refuse, they hardly give a shit. You are one in hundreds they begged from.
Like all good players, they are on to the next one.
I live in NYC, where being asked for money is a constant. I give when I can--when I have change, when I'm not in a hurry. I have NEVER had a panhandler complain that I didn't give enough. Never. And when I don't give, I usually look the person in the eye and say "sorry, not now", which generally elicits a positive response--e.g., "have a great day. or at least a smile.
I worked with homeless people in my youth, and like R13, I learned not to judge. Yes, it's effective to contribute to social service organizations that support the homeless. But these are real human interactions, and despite the occasional sensational "scam" expose, none of them are getting rich off of panhandling.
After reading this thread I am know convinced that it's not a good idea to give them money. From now on I will always carry a huge air pot filled with hot coffee a a bag of grilled cheese sandwiches
"If someone asks me for change or a dollar or two and I have I give it . Why not?"
Because they use that money to get drunk or stoned, that's why. Food is available at churches and shelters: alcohol and drugs and cigarettes are not, which is why the homeless (or maybe NOT homeless) beg for cash and change. You're what the 12 step programs call "an enabler."
I've had it happen several times; a beggar asks me for money, I offer a little change and I get "can you give me more than that?" I don't give money to beggars anymore.
If you want to do something for the homeless or less fortunate DONATE TO A CHARITY. Don't give money directly to beggars. It doesn't help them; all it does it reinforce their vices.
A lot of these beggars aren't poverty stricken at all. They're scam artists who just want to bilk naive do-gooders out of their money. That's another reason not to give your money to strangers begging for it.
I once gave a guy a buck and asked for fifty cents change back.
Boy was he pissed!
Fuck no. I give them nothing. First six months out here I learned the scam. Since then nothing. As a matter of fact, when they jingle their cups I say is that for me?
There is a new breed of very aggressive BM beggars on Geary from Jones to Stockton I don't understand why they can't be picked up. I pity tourists they're pushy and frightening to them.
Around here if you say you don't have change, they'll ask to trade a dollar bill for a quarter, haha. Ridiculous.
Did you get your 50c?
R13...you're an enabling creep. Which is ironic because I'm SURE you think you're a saint. You're helping that person drink and drug themselves to death. If you cared, you'd donate to a food pantry, not give money to someone who clearly has addictions.
I pass the same begger on my commute every morning. He has a milkcrate that he sits on when he gets tired of standing. That guy has been on that corner for at least 10 years. He's only there in the mornings, though. People giving him a dollar here or there are absolutely doing nothing to get him to stop begging.
A local paper did a report on these folks. First, they're not all homeless. It's a scam. One kid was raking it in, and was using the money to travel! Yet I see people handing these folks money all the time, even when it's clear that they have drug and alcohol problems. It's sickening. And I don't get it. If you really wanted to help you wouldn't enable these folks. And you'd be more wary of the scam artists.
R35...they're not "getting rich" because the money all goes for drugs. Are you really that incredibly stupid?? You're a menace. And really evil. You know these folks are drinking themselves to death and your solution is to help them do it.
The problem with people like R35 is that they're functioning alcoholics who feel guilty. They're trying to feel better by giving money to people who 'need' a drink. It's ridiculous.
Wow, R41/R43/R44/R45, this is apparently very sensitive for you, eh? I'm Neither a "functioning alcoholic" nor an addict, thank you very much. The fact is that the couple of dollars I give away a week isn't going to change my life or the panhandlers'. It's a simple human transaction--they ask, and I dignify their request by either giving or politely declining. The safety net in large cities is riddled with gaping holes because of budget shortfalls and service cutbacks. I can live with enabling some panhandlers and helping others bu a meal. Personal decision.
I once worked with a woman who went the extra mile. She went to the grocery store and bought a bag of groceries for the guy who asked her for money and gave it to him. Later that day, she drove by where he was and he was gone and the food she had bought was all over the street. She said she never did that again. Me, I give to charities that help feed and rehabilitate the poor. I learned from traveling throughout India that begging for money can actually become a corrupt mafia type business.
Yeah, attacking r13 makes you a real mensch. Sheesh.
Bengali in Platforms
R46...oh dear. Sweetie, your "trolldar detective" post makes you look pathetic. I'll post as many times as I like. Deal with it. The money you give doesn't patch up the safety net, dear. You're helping people drink themselves to death. That's the reality. You're not giving them dignity by patronizingly throwing some change their way so they can get another beer. You're an idiot.
If you actually cared you'd give that change to a food bank or to a charity that actually helps people and offers them hope. You're just an enabler. And I'm still willing to bet that you're a high functioning addict and in denial.
Anyone who's actually worked with the homeless population hates imbeciles like you.
Bengali= low functioning addict. You don't get it, do you?
[quote]they ask, and I dignify their request by either giving or politely declining.
I tell them:
I don't give money to people I KNOW let alone strangers.
As I stated upthread, R49 etc, I did work with homeless people when I was younger, by developing supportive housing. I do make charitable contributions to multi-service organizations that assist the homeless, among other populations. And I also sometimes give panhandlers spare change. I don't care if you think I'm an enabling patsy, as I'm sure you don't care that I think you are bizarrely over-invested in other people's choices.
"I once worked with a woman who went the extra mile. She went to the grocery store and bought a bag of groceries for the guy who asked her for money and gave it to him. Later that day, she drove by where he was and he was gone and the food she had bought was all over the street. She said she never did that again."
That's very sad. Here this women went out of her way to help someone and the asshole just dumps her charitable contribution on the street. Obviously the fucker wanted money to buy booze or drugs. I hope she stands by her conviction never to help any creep who asks her for money again.
Don't give money to beggars. DON'T.
I get your point, r50. I do. I can't help but get it because you shout it every other post.
But to say to r13 that "...you're an enabling creep. Which is ironic because I'm SURE you think you're a saint" is beyond grotesque. I'm sure that s/he has quite enough to deal with in his/her life without being rabidly and roundly condemned by you.
Behavior like this will win NO ONE to your side. Calm, reasoned proposals and responses will aid your agenda. Shouting, name-calling and bullying will not.
Bengali in Platforms
I was surprised to see signs in some San Diego stores telling people NOT to give money to beggars due to the public drunkenness problem it was causing.
They mainly use the money for booze and drugs. They tell you it's for food, but usually they are lying. And don't expect them to thank you either...they are desperate and shady.
Enablement is not GOOD change, R46. This "simple human transaction" is harming more than helping because you are not giving them "dignity" - you rewarding them for panhandling and reinforcing their addictions.
If you are so concerned about budget shortfalls and service cutbacks, put your money where it really counts, and donate food, clothing or money to shelters. Better yet, take some of your time and volunteer among these people instead of throwing small change at them. You say giving does not change your life - well, then why don't you change it in a major way by truly helping?
Shelter Manager, downtown Seattle
Yes, Uncle Bottom, you are being too cheap. Don't you know you're supposed to give homeless people 20% of your hourly wage? Anything less is simply rude. How could you? What will you nieces and nephews (and their parents!) think of you??? You are setting a very poor example.
R55/Bengali...oh get off your high horse, Mary. I loathe sanctimonious pricks like you. There's nothing "grotesque" about speaking the truth. R13 thinks he's a saint for throwing a few cents at someone who's begging, and that's bullshit. He's enabling someone with an addiction and pretending that this makes him a 'good person', just as you think you're being a 'good person' by defending him. But good people don't throw change at homeless addicts and then act as if they've done something noble. It's patronizing, demeaning, and ultimately destructive. I'm not going to play nicey-nice with self-aggrandizing idiots who enable people to drink themselves to death so that your delicate sensibilities won't be offended by reality. You're on the wrong board for that, clueless.
If you don't like my posts you're welcome not to read them. I encourage you to avert your eyes. But you don't get to dictate what people say here, Bengali. No one died and made you the hall monitor. You are free to avoid discussions you don't like and to ignore posts that offend your high-minded egoism.
As to the issue at hand, reality checks are often jarring and impolite. Deal with it. R13 is a big boy, and your patronizing defense is just another form of enabling. Get over yourself.
I pass beggers on the street all the time. I walk from Dupont Circle metro to Georgetown on my way home. More often then not I don't have money readily available as I walk but if I give money it's usually a dollar bill. I am also more likely to give to certain people I recognize and women I have no problem with it and it very often is used for food. If I can't give I usually just say "sorry not today." I'm never rude to them or unpleasant and I have never been met with rudeness in return except maybe once a long time ago.
[quote] I once worked with a woman who went the extra mile. She went to the grocery store and bought a bag of groceries for the guy who asked her for money and gave it to him
Of course this was just misguided. What did she think he was going to do? Go back to his lovely apt and put the food away in his lovely kitchen? Seriously. This just shows a complete ignorance of how they live. They need money to get through the day.
There are no shelters in my area of town so to get there either takes money (bus) or a bit of time to walk. There is a half-way house not far though.
Give or don't give. It's your choice. But don't pretend you know what they are all doing with the money. And for some of you, stop making it sound like you are "doing the right and noble thing" by not giving when you just sound mean spirited and cheap.
Oh and Bengali...each year, my city has a vigil for all the homeless addicts who died on the streets. Many of them just literally fell down dead one day from alcohol and drugs. Some of these folks were relatively young. R13 and people like him are culpable in this. Yet they feel so smug and saintly because they gave 20 cents to someone who was literally drinking himself to death. The irony is that R13 fears he may be homeless some day, and I only hope that if this ever happens he gets better help than the kind of 'help' he's proffering.
But I'll be sweet and delicate as I try to point out to R13 that he's helping people kill themselves, because apparently politeness is more important than calling some dick out on his destructive "charity".
R46 has it right.
R60 needs to get off his high horse. I don't see anyone claiming to be a saint because they are more willing to give on a more immediate level than maybe later donating to some charity. You're too defensive. As someone who has decades of experience with homeless people and panhandling it is not always about money for drugs and alcohol.
It's really not that hard for someone with any judgment and awareness of their community to tell who is scamming and who isn't.
R43, drop it. Your bullshit assertions of "evil" are stupid and you clearly don't have any understanding of what it means to be homeless in a large city or how ineffective most programs targeted towards the homeless and impoverished are.
R61...get your head out of your ass. You know what they're going to do with the money. Addiction is a powerful thing. But apparently you have reading comprehension difficulties. No one here said NOT to help. We are saying that if you TRULY want to HELP, you'd give money to charities that actually feed and clothe these folks. That offer them real hope. Handing twenty cents over to a beggar with an addiction is NOT help. You're a presumptuous twit and in denial.
As far as being "cheap", that would be YOU. Oh, you're so generous for handing over a little spare change. What a saint you are. Meanwhile, some of us actually work in food banks, food kitchens, clothing banks, and shelters. We donate our TIME. We don't patronize these folks by treating them like helpless invalids who have no other option but to drink themselves to death. I can always tell the people who've never volunteered or actually done anything significant for the street population, because they sound like you.
Oh and R61...no charities on your block? No charities online? You have no choice but to give 20 cents? You couldn't buy someone a meal instead? Oh no...too expensive, right? How about buying someone a cup of coffee so he can sit inside for a while? But there's nothing else you can do. Uh huh.
R65, you are a moron. Charities can be effective, but they are not necessarily more effective than immediate help, especially in big cities. As someone who has volunteered with homeless programs for literally decades, I'm telling you that they are designed to target A) only the worst off and b)only serve limited numbers. Most people either cycle in and out of homelessness or are temporarily homeless, so the "temporary" help of giving beggars change is useful and far from "evil".
R63...you're foolish. Giving on a more immediate level? Oh yes, it's incredibly helpful to give an addict change so he can buy a beer. If you think you can tell who's "scamming" you're in serious denial.
R64...again, get off your high horse, Mary. You're an idiot.
Oh and R64...so we shouldn't give to programs because they're "ineffective" and should just help people drink themselves to death? That's your solution? How about getting involved with these programs and trying to make a real difference? But it's just easier to give a little change, isn't it?
R66, Charities are rife with corruption and ineffective bureaucracy. They are not 100% bad, but they are not a perfect solution either. Giving beggars can be an immediate help.
R67...you're the moron, dearest, And either a liar or someone who should not be working in "homeless programs" in any capacity. Giving change to addicts begging on the street is not "help". PERIOD.
And R67...address my point, Mary. I said that you could buy a meal for a homeless addict rather then giving them change. You're calling me a "moron" for this, why exactly?
Who knew this thread would get people so riled up!
My favorite homeless story happened one Christmas day after a big lunch. It was drizzelling and cold, and I saw a guy huddled at the bus stop down the street. I rushed there with all the xmas leftovers that we were going to put away, turkey, sprouts, potatoes, etc. Handed him over this tray of food, and all he could say was "oh - I would prefer some money". I said, "I don't have my wallet on me, do you still want the food?". He took it but I was shocked at his attitude. It was as if he had a better offer of Christmas lunch at the country club later...Ridiculous. And never again....
The couple of people posting over and over to vilify anyone who gives money to street people would be more credible if they took it down a notch. Several posters who've said they give out change also said they've worked with the homeless and/or donate to charities that help them. Do all you overwrought anti-scammers really do the same?
It's true that many persistently homeless adults have mental health and substance abuse problems. it's also true that some don'tt. Anyone who's been in a homeless shelter knows they're often unsafe for vulnerable residents. Sometimes people are just on the street for lack of better options. Nobody can easily tell if a street person is scamming or truly needy, or both. Let people give or not; both are valid responses.
OP @R73, I just used trolldar and realized there is one abusive poster who is all riled up. This thread is his personal padded room. Too bad, it could have been an interesting discussion.
A man once approached me in a grocery store parking lot and told some story about needing gas to get back home. I've heard it before and just from the look of him I knew he was a drug addict. However I was in a good mood and felt like being generous, I pulled out five dollars and handed it over.
That bitch had the nerve to ask me why I hadn't given him the seven dollars he asked for. "You don't have $2 extra?" he kept repeating as if I owed it to him. He even followed me into the damn store. That is the last time I give money to anyone begging for it and the last time I go to the store alone after 8pm.
R69, I HAVE volunteered with various homeless programs in NYC for nearly two decades and that service has tapered off precisely because it is hard to ignore how ineffective these programs usually are. Most programs want to stay under the radar to limit the number of people dependent on their services and most institute policies intended to discourage people from using their services on a long term basis. The food at most of these places is shit, there are often violence problems, staff is often rude and unhelpful. Clients have to lie about being worse off than they are to get into effective programs and if they weren't smart enough to do so during their first interview/application, then they usually lock themselves out of future programs. You are maniacally posting that we should look to charities as the end-all solution when that just isn't so.After being involved in the system and trying my damnedest to improve it, I would honestly be hesitant to encourage anyone to look to it for help outside of certain circumstances.
there are a lot of mentally ill people on our streets -- mental illness may have led them to addiction. giving them a buck or so is not a bad thing. i give to women more as i believe street life is harder on them.most are happy to get a bit of money. i rarely encounter the rudeness that some describe.
Disgusting to see so many people who see nothing wrong with enabling people's addictions. You're not helping these beggars, you're killing them. You're keeping them dependent on drugs and alcohol, and you are insuring that they stay homeless. Shame on you.
There used to be a somewhat well-dressed older man--well, neatly dressed--who stood on Geary Street (in SF) in the 400-500 block. I always gave him change.
I still think about this guy-- wonder what happened to him? Haven't seen him for years. I suppose that most of the people who panhandled in that area lived in the flophouses in the Tenderloin and were alcoholics.
R81 = Truth4Time poster
People like r66 make me want to give money to every beggar I meet.
R83 - What is Truth4Time, asshole?
Googled it, and it's fundamentalist Christian group? Lord almighty, enabling pieces of shit can't defend their bad behavior, so they lie.
Don't you have something better to do, like buy booze for all your homeless buddies?
It's all the same poster with anger management issues, R84. I'll think of him and smile as I hand out extra change this week. He's very motivating.
R88 = sadistic creep.
You smile as you kill people? WTF is wrong with you?
Thanks for that, r75. I think it's just one lunatic. She seems to have become unhinged over the prospect of people deciding for themselves whether to give money to homeless people.
OK, R90, I'm going to try to spell this out really clear for you.
Giving change to beggars enables addiction and keeps the homeless homeless. This is a fact, it is not up for debate, and anyone who has worked with the homeless will attest to this.
Some of us have been affected by addiction in our lives. Some of us have a problem with homelessness. It is because we have concern for human beings that we speak up. Just because you don't care about people doesn't mean that people who do care about people are "just one lunatic." Your actions affect other people, not just you, and when your actions harm other people, I will speak out, because that is my responsibility as a human being.
Just because you don't give a shit about other people and how your actions affect them doesn't mean that decent human beings can't speak up.
"Charities are rife with corruption and ineffective bureaucracy. They are not 100% bad, but they are not a perfect solution either. Giving beggars can be an immediate help."
You're rather paranoid. There are PLENTY of legitimate charities out there that do a lot of good for people in need. They're not hard to find. And giving money to beggars is not a "help" to them at all. They beg, dummies like you give them money, they almost certainly spend it on drugs/alcohol, they go begging again, they get money again, they get drunk/high again, they go begging again...it's an unending cycle. It's people like you who keep that cycle going.
[quote]I live in NYC, where being asked for money is a constant. I give when I can--when I have change, when I'm not in a hurry. I have NEVER had a panhandler complain that I didn't give enough. Never.
It's because you live in NYC. There isn't enough room for the homeless to be so aggressive as they are in SF.
[quote]This is a fact, it is not up for debate[/quote]
cite your sources or shut the fuck up. And please stop lecturing everyone. I've also been approached by a woman with children begging for money to feed her kids with. I watched her go back into the store and buy as much as she could with what I and other people had given her. Not everyone who begs is a drug addict. Come off it already.
OP There are two solutions to your quandry:
1. Get a second job so that you can hand out even more money to those loafing on the street with their hands out; and
2. Vote for Obama come November so that the economy will remain stagnant, pushing up the ranks of the homeless.
Thank god, you're getting that second job. Bad news is that per point 2, you'll be paying more taxes, so you might need to get a third job.
Uhhhh....ohhh....the economy under Obaman will remain in the doldrums, and you'll not be able to find a second or third job.
Sigh....you won't be able to hand out more money to the homeless.
r91, you need to step away from the computer and pull yourself together. You are really losing it, toots.
You have a very obnoxious personality, r95.
I can barely make ends meet so I don't have enough to give to charity. If you want to help the homeless, give to charity, not the individual.
There is this homeless man who sits in front of our grocery store and people give him change. When he gets enough money, you can see him inside buying a bottle of gin.
Then he goes back outside, sits, drinks, and waits for the next round of coins to accumulate.
R98 et al. WE DON'T CARE.
Better to give them money to buy their own booze than have them end up robbing a liquor store.
Per the USDA (a conservative estimator), 15% of households in the US are "food insecure". That's a staggering number in a wealthy nation. If four street people use my spare change for a drink, and one uses it to feed themselves or their kids, I'm okay with that. And of course hunger is just one measure of poverty.
If you want to politicize this discussion, R95, well, food insecurity went down as a result of the stimulus package. I'd have no problem paying more taxes if they went fund all the human services that have been decimated while the need is growing.
"Of course this was just misguided. What did she think he was going to do? Go back to his lovely apt and put the food away in his lovely kitchen? Seriously. This just shows a complete ignorance of how they live. They need money to get through the day."
No, dear. They need money to drink, smoke and get high. That's why they need money. They can't get drugs and cigs and booze at social service agencies and shelters and churches. That's why they need the cold, hard cash.
"Give or don't give. It's your choice. But don't pretend you know what they are all doing with the money. And for some of you, stop making it sound like you are "doing the right and noble thing" by not giving when you just sound mean spirited and cheap."
It's just common sense to know what they do with the money. I reiterate: they can't get booze/drugs/cigarettes from places that provide for the poor or homeless, so they need YOUR money to buy the stuff.
And it's definitely NOT "mean spirited and cheap" to not want to give your hard-earned money to some loser who wants you to hand it over to him or her.
I never give to the homeless. I'm only a few paychecks from joining them. I even have cardboard signs in reserve in the event I find myself on the streets. I recently bought a tent and a sleeping bag so my kitty and I will have some protection from some of the elements. Costco has a lovely tent for 4 and it's only 69.00.
Please join me in F&Fing the cunty FReeper Xtian shitstain at R101, et al.
Yes, because R103 doesn't want to kill the homeless, he's a Freeper and "X"ian.
You can't cure stupid.
F&F for you too, idiot @ R104
Yes, I give homeless people change sometimes, even though I know it probably doesn't do much good. I'm sensitive, and it fucking breaks my heart that anyone should have to live like that.
I ask the cute ones with teeth, if I could clean them up and fuck them. Most will do it for 5 or ten dollars. Hell, one said he'd do it for free if he could stay the night, but he wanted me to toe his shopping cart behind my Lexus. We compromised by renting a tiny u-haul for 19.95 and spending the night at the Motel 6.
No, r93, not paranoid at all-speaking from experience about things I've witnessed. I never said there weren't any legitimate charities. I, in fact, said the opposite. I said the charities aren't perfect and that Insanitytroll is fooling herself and people like you into thinking these homeless shelters, programs and charities are realistic solutions. In most cases they are not even MEANT to be solutions, but stopgaps- just like giving panhandlers money.
[quote] he wanted me to toe his shopping cart behind my Lexus.
You got me spelling lady. It should have been "tow his shopping cart behind my lexus."
I was too busy trying to be funny and the spelling got by me.
Remember when the father from the TV show Alf was picking up homeless guys and giving them drugs while he sucked them off.
[quote] Remember when the father from the TV show Alf was picking up homeless guys and giving them drugs while he sucked them off.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I though Alf was from Melmack? I didn't know Alf's father was on the down low. Those outer planets are no better than Earth, I guess.
[quote] while he sucked them off.
If a shabby homeless man approached R103 and said "I'm horny. Can you help me out? I really need my dick sucked" he'd get down on his knees so fast it would make your head spin. What a retard! What a fucking idiot twat!
One morning a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, coffee & doughnuts were being passed out at the side entrance of a church in a poor neighborhood, with a line of shabbily dressed men waiting to be served. One guy said to another "It's good to get something besides turkey for a change" -- the other guy replied "Yeah, I'm pretty much turkeyed out already & it's gonna be like that all the way til Christmas".
An extremely fat man riding a bike around a supermarket parking lot approached people on their way in & said "Now I'm not going to ask you for money! But my wife & kids at home are hungry -- would you mind just buying some cereal & milk for them while you're shopping?".
A well-dressed fat, middle-aged man taking all the pretty young women in his office out to lunch on Admin Assistant's Day stopped the group en route to his car & bustled over to a woman in rags huddled near the entrance to the office building -- when he tried to press a wad of bills into her hand, she rose unsteadily & barked "I don't need your money!"
[quote] there are a lot of mentally ill people on our streets --
Some of them are here as well.
What the fuck is up with Simon Legree? I've lived in my city for over 30 years and I have tons of experience with the homeless in my city and the services available to them - both professionally and personally. No one but a knee-jerk fool would think that the ONLY reason people panhandle is for drugs or alcohol. Of course that's part of it for some but I'm not about to sit and judge and then freak out if someone disagrees with me. One of my clients even had to panhandle to get money for transportation for a meeting with me.
Some needs to fuck off and die and be grateful they aren't living on the street hoping some stranger will share some spare change.
When I went to undergraduate in DC, a friend of mine from Europe and I were walking through Georgetown. There was a homeless man begging for money because he said that he was hungry. My friend stopped and offered him her tuna sandwich, which she had just purchased at a deli.
When she offered the sandwich to him, he said, "No thank you; I don't like tuna fish."
My friend was absolutely horrified. Her comment to me was that if the man was truly hungry, it wouldn't have mattered what type of sandwich that it was.
It did shed some light on the fact that even the homeless in the U.S. aren't really starving in most cases. The begging is often a way to get spare cash to buy booze and cigarettes.
I wouldn't be able to eat tuna fish even if I was starving. I'd fucking gag. Tuna fish is revolting.
One guy on 8th street NYC told me to "dig down deep and don't be cheap"
R118, I often try to give leftovers to the homeless, and they almost always respond "What IS IT?"
"I wouldn't be able to eat tuna fish even if I was starving. I'd fucking gag. Tuna fish is revolting."
Oh, don't be an ass. If you were REALLY hungry you'd eat it. Obviously the beggar R118 talked about wasn't hungry, the liar.
If the soft bleeding hearts on this thread are truly serious about being kind to the poor, dear beggars then they should go the extra mile. They should invite the beggars asking for money into their homes, let them sleep on their couchs, cook them meals and let them use their bathrooms to shower and piss and take dumps. They should take them in rent-free and take care of them, if they're SO concerned about their welfare. That would be so much more helpful to them than just giving them change.
If I'm coming from a store and they ask me for change, I usually ask them if they want to go back in and get something to eat.
I don't give away my hard-earned money to strangers on the street. Just will not do it. I do give to select charities throughout the year, but not ever to panhandlers who spend their days asking for hand-outs.
I give them my semen.
I don't give to them because I know they're almost all addicts of one sort or another. I've seen them begging outside stores, and some shlub will come out and offer a sandwich instead of money. As soon as the person walks away they just throw it in the trash. They're not hungry. They're jonesing. They want the cash for booze or drugs.
That's why I never give them cash. Buy them a meal? Sure.
I don't give either. Like r126, I know the people who are on the street where I live and why they're out begging.
I think every place has a different profile re: homeless people, though.
I could easily see NYC, for example, have a lot of people in shelters or homeless who aren't addicts.
I know many women who have homeless men behave in a threatening manner towards them and yeah I'd say those guys are scum. Would you want some dirty guy cornering your sister and begging for $?
r129 has it right. This is why I've stopped doing any activity alone at night. I live in a suburb, but even here the store parking lots are loitered by homeless men stalking women and cornering them for money. Even with a group of girlfriends they are still undeterred. One time the guy even yelled at me to come around the corner to his van. I ran my ass right back in the store and asked an employee to escort me to my car.
I can't give money to the homeless anymore, even though I have seen where it did good. I just don't like the feeling that I would be encouraging them to continue their threatening and frightening behavior. Or if I do give money it is only to those asking in the day time and who are polite enough to respect my personal space.
Part of me feels the stores should be responsible and do something about this.
No, r122, I absolutely cannot stand seafood of any kind. Handing me tuna fish is the equivalent of handing me a steaming turd. I'd sooner eat pebbles and dead leaves and live rats than I would ever ever ever eat tuna fish. Seafood should be fucking illegal, absolutely revolting inedible refuse.
Enough with all the anecdotal evidence. The existence of poverty is not up for debate.
Neither is the correlation between homelessness and addiction.
The City of Ann Arbor is unveiling a campaign to get people to stop giving change to panhandlers.
annarborrealhelp dot org is the website for it.
The abundance of naive rich students in Ann Arbor giving their change to panhandlers has created a huge problem. The panhandlers are usually drunk and aggressive, yet the students give them their money anyway.
My brother, who lives in neighboring Ypsi, is a heroin addict, and will occasionally take the bus to Ann Arbor to panhandle. He has a house, a job, and receives SSI benefits. He's white, and dresses well. Yet people still give him money. Panhandlers are scam artists, and from the bleeding heart posts I'm reading, a lot of people here are falling for it, too.
R119 You obviously have never experienced true hunger based on your statement. Imagine a child in Somalia who asks for food because he is hungry. It wouldn't matter what it was, he would he it....guess why oh rocket scientist....because he is actually truly hungry. That is the point. Moron.
he would eat it....sorry.
Harvard Square has become a haven for homeless thugs who practically demand money from passersby. There are so many of them that you almost trip over them if you have to go through the square - as I do on a daily basis. I used to feel sorry for them, but not since the younger ones started getting really nasty when asking for money.
The situation is getting worse and worse, but Cambridge being a f'ed up place, have laws saying that homeless people can pretty much set up camp anywhere. Though, the homeless "magically" disappeared during the graduation festivities - wonder how Harvard pulled that off.
r134 I went to MSU so I didn't have to deal with it as much. I maybe saw a homeless person every day but they never asked for money and in fact were insulted by anyone trying to help them.
But after graduating I moved back to the Ann Arbor/ Ypsi area. I am not even on the UM campus and I tell you, you can not go anywhere without being accosted by aggressive lying idots determined to scare people into forking over more money.
Even in the Novi area in the day time outside of a coffee shop. Some kid whose "car broke down" needs "$2.00 for the bus". You give him $1.50 and he'll get in your face and say "you don't have another dollar?" then you leave the coffee shop an hour later and he's still out there asking passers by for $2.00.
I've started giving my old business suits to dress for success and volunteering to pay transportation for those that land interviews. I do the same with any charity, even toys for tots I would never again just hand over money without knowing that it actually did what I wanted it to.
I might even start calling the cops on homeless people in parking lots if they are being too aggressive.
I am not against giving to the homeless, but that shouldn't give homeless people cart-blanche to assault anyone walking by. Giving them money when they are being aggressive and threatening encourages their bad behavior.
R138 makes alot of sense.
R9 you have a snack and lunch?
You type fat.
Once I gave a homeless person a whole pocket of change, not knowing what I was giving him. It turned that it was all pennies. He threw them at me.
No, r135, as I said, I would catch rats or pigeous or eat twigs or pebbles or handfuls of dirt before I would ever put nasty ass seafood anywhere near my mouth. You must have never really been hungry if you're not willing to eat someone else's freshly steaming shit. If you had experienced starvation, you'd jump at the chance to eat warm fecal matter. That's what you're suggesting I do and anyone who gives seafood to the homeless should be shot for being such an asshole. I would absolutely never under any circumstances ever eat rancid fucking sea creatures.
r142, while I agree that Tuna Fish is gross, your level of hatred for seafood is a bit much. By saying anyone who offers people seafood should be "shot", you are ascribing your personal taste to an entire population. Plenty of people enjoy seafood and even consider it a treat. Tuna fish sandwiches are gross though, the only way I would eat one is if I was literally starving (been there as a broke college kid, so I know) some things taste a lot better when you haven't eaten in three days.
R143, look, it's how I feel. I'd absolutely prefer to be dead than ever have to taste seafood again. I'm allowed to feel that way and, if need be, make that choice. Seafood is revolting.
I'd like to pin R144 down and shove a flounder down his throat.
R144 still cuts the crust off his bread.
I always give beggars a buck or whatever change I have on me. I gave this guy a buck the other day and he said, "I can break a twenty with a ten." I just said, "I ain't got it." He walked off with a pissed look on his face.
They need to put the HO back in hobo and start strollin the boulevard.
When they ask for change I offer them hope.
I don't know if the homeless people in downtown Chicago are lazy but I hardly ever encounter any aggressive panhandlers like you people are describing.
I did have one guy who was bugging me the other day to go to the grocery store with him to buy groceries for his kids... or something... and got pissed when I just gave him money, but that was extremely extremely rare and really mostly it's just people with signs and big McDonald's cups.
If I have change in my pocket I try to give folks money when I pass. And I always feel guilty when I don't give them money. I don't want to not feel guilty because that means I am not a human being any more.
The people who say they can't give money... even change... to homeless because the people might spend the money on drugs, I really don't get. What's it to you how they spend their quarter you gave them? They're fucking homeless! Their everyday existence is unimaginably horrible and without dignity. Don't they deserve a little bit of an escape from that life?
Even if you don't believe in God, Proverbs 19:17 is still a worthwhile verse to read. When it comes to improving your karma in the universe, dropping a dollar in the Mickey D's cup of a homeless person beats the hell out of writing a check for a tax deduction or dropping money in a church collection plate.
I will usually not give to black people as they are most likely drug addicts.
Sad but true.
r149, it's not "their" money. It's the passerby's hard earned money and many people would prefer not to throw good money after bad. You might as well have said "Why didn't you buy a hot dog from the hotdog vendor? He's out there all day in the hot sun, why don't you care?"
People do care, but that doesn't mean they should have to give money if it's for something they don't want like a hotdog from a vendor, or booze and drugs for a homeless person.
Report the racist idiot at r150. Homeless people are more than likely drug addicts period. There are a few cases where that isn't true, but honestly even if jobless most people would have friends or family they can crash with unless they had a behavior that friends and family found dangerous or intolerable such as drug addiction or mental illness.
After you pass off the quarter to someone else, it's not your money any more.
When I send my niece a birthday card with a $25 check it's not my hard-earned money any more. When I tip the waitress or the cab driver it's not my hard-earned money any more. And when I drop my quarter in the homeless guy's plastic cup, it's not my hard-earned money any more.
Also, I am not saying you HAVE TO give money.
I am saying that if you are a decent human being, you should want to give money. You should feel guilt if you have the means to give money and you don't. You are a bad person if you use the excuse that many homeless people are addicted to drugs and alcohol as an excuse to not ever, even just once, spare a quarter on their wretched souls every once in a while you pass them.
It's really not anything like a hot dog vendor at all.
It's not about what YOU get out of the transaction. It's not about what the homeless guy spends the money on. It's about the grace you show of yourself (or God through you, if you are spiritually inclined) in the giving of what you have to a stranger with no expectation of you getting anything at all in return for doing so.
I give money to homeless people sporadically. I would prefer to donate to charity, but I'm conflicted. Social services and charities are so often full of flaky, self-absorbed people as interested in controlling the poor and inflating their own egos as they are helping the needy. On the other hand, giving someone $5 or $10 at a time doesn't really help them much. So I feel one way for awhile and will just give cash to individual homeless. But then I get out of the mood for that and think it's better to give to a charity that's organized and at least achieves something occasionally. I go back and forth.
r151 you missed my point. While I have it it's mine and I get to decide what I want to do with it. Do I want to give a quarter to a homeless person so they can buy drugs? No. Okay then, quarter stays in my pocket.
I don't care what they do with the money other people choose to give them, but I do care what I do with my money and I won't be using it to feed someone's drug habit. Throwing money at someone because you don't care that they are going to use it to buy drugs is a choice you can make, it doesn't mean other people should. I am not going to use my money to finance anyone's drug habit.
I think we will just have to disagree because from my perspective your argument assumes that people should make monetary decisions without thinking of if they want to be indirectly responsible for the consequences of those decisions.
If I've got change and the person asking is polite and seems genuine, then I'll give them a buck or two. I've volunteered in clean needle programs and soup kitchens for years so I'm accustomed to relating to the disenfranchised as people who are worth no more or less than I am. As far as I see it, I can afford it and they need it. I don't care what they spend it on. I'm a high-functioning addict so the last thing I'm going to do is judge someone for using drugs. Some of the more unhinged posters on this thread are furiously invested in justifying their decision not to offer help when it's asked for.
Here are some of my experiences with beggars:
I live near a convenience store. There was a guy who hung around there; I think the owners of the store would give him an odd job now and then. He never looked very shabby. I made the mistake of speaking to him since I'd seen him so often and stupidly told him my name. After that, everytime he'd see me he'd bellow out my name in a basso profoundo voice. One day he saw me and yelled "It's my birthday! It's my birthday!" I didn't know if that was true or not, but I gave him a dollar. He said "you'd better make it two so I can get a sandwich." I declined to give him more. A few days later he saw me and yelled "It's my birthday, it's my birthday!" I told him he already had a birthday and he said no, his birthday wasn't until a few days later. I didn't give him any more money.
A guy asked me for money and I declined to give it to him. He said "what's the matter, you don't like black people?". I said "that's ridiculous" and kept walking, but I should have said "no, I just don't like losers who want me to them my money."
A small, thin, nicely dressed black woman with a drawn face approached me; "excuse me, I don't mean to bother you..." she began in a sweet, apologetic voice. She went on to say that someone (a husband, her sister, I don't remember) was supposed to pick her up and the car broke down and she lived way out in the county and could I please give $10 for a cab? I declined. Some time later this same woman approached me again: nicely dressed, apologetic, she gave me the same story: her husband/sister/cousin/mother, etc. was supposed to pick her up, she lived far away, she needed money for a cab. This happened again. And AGAIN. One time it was raining, which helped make her supposed situation more pitiful as she stood under a pretty umbrella, asking for money so she could please get home. Another time it was hot and she pleaded "it's so hot..." Her brain must have been fried from drugs or something because why else would she ask me for money when she'd pulled the same ruse on me several times before. She was obviously scamming in the general area; it got go when I'd see her coming I'd just say "I can't help you" and keep walking.
A guy, neatly dressed in plaid shirt and jeans, hair combed, approached me. He said "maybe you know me...I teach painting at (he mentioned the nearby college)." He then said his car had been towed, he needed $10 to get it back and that he'd send me repayment with a "bow" on it (it was near the holidays). I declined to help. Later, this guy was featured in a story in a local magazine. He was addicted to painkillers and he and a friewn of his who pretended to be a landlord were scamming churches. The guy would go to a church saying he and his family were about to be evicted, and the church would hand over money to his friend the phoney landlord and they'd split the money.
A guy on a bicyle approached me, saying he and his children didn't have any food. I told him a local homeless shelter was nearby. He said they woudn't help you unless you were homeless and he and his kids lived in an apartment. I mentioned the Salvation Army was nearby and there were churches in the area that might help. Every suggestion I gave he brushed off. I though to myself: if it's food he wants, how is he going to get it home? The Salvation Army would have given him a grocery bag of food, but how would he transport it on a bicycle? Finally he cut to the chase: he asked me for $5 to buy some "hot dogs and rolls." I didn't give him any money.
Beggars are LIARS.
wont' one of you predatory queens give a home to this adorably scruffy gay homeless guy?