Kaye Ballard gives the most non-denial denial of being gay ever

Is she saying she's straight? Bi? Or has a female partner but just doesn't like the label gay? "Ballard, suddenly turning interviewer, herself, had a particular question she wanted to ask me: “David, why is it, if a woman is strong, why do they think she’s gay? In my early life, I did everything twice, and I found myself after 40, thinking, ‘This is ridiculous.’ I’m only happy working and with my dogs, but so many people terrorize you, saying, ‘Come out and say something!’ But I’m nothing. At the moment, I have someone who takes care of me, a friend for 40 years, but nothing! Why do they automatically think you have to make a declaration? I’m glad that Ellen and Rosie have done it, but I have no reason to do that and won’t. “They used to say that about June Havoc, who had a lady with her all her life, who was like a nun. It was such a joke. June was one of the most wonderful people, totally heterosexual. All of my friends are gay and I love everybody for what they are, not what they do in bed. I don’t give a damn and don’t understand this attitude.”

http://gaycitynews.com/articles/2012/04/25/gay_city_news/arts/doc4f988ba00aca2930459289.txt



• OMG, at this point who gives a shit. Kaye, no one cares what you do or has been done with your muff. But it might be a kick at this point in life to just damn the torpedoes and tell folks divers have more fun! Who isn't a dyke in Palm Springs?!?!?

• It sounds like Kaye is saying she has had a paid companion for many years, but that she is asexual.

• June who?

• OMG I didn't know she was still alive!

• Ballard looks good.

• But why is she even mentioning this person "who takes care of her", r2? Why would a paid employee have anything to do with her sexuality? It seems a little "the lady doth protest too much". Unless maybe there are rumors that this paid employee is her girlfriend, so Kaye was trying to explicitly refute that. I guess I haven't kept up on my Kaye Ballard gossip.

• It sounds as if she is dodging a palimony suit.

• Poor dear is just addled. But there's something on her conscience, but if you believe the reporter, it was Kaye who brought up the subject. She's a well-known germaphobe, so perhaps she won't go near a vagina.

• hey! what about me?

  rose%20marie

• I can only wish that David had said: "Kaye, WTF are you talking about?!" How could he have let that pass with no clarification?

• [quote]June who? Gypsy Rose Lee's younger sister.

• Miss Ballard didn't do anyone - us or herself or the enemies of gays or nuns or heterosexuals or the color ochre - any favors with these statements. Shhh, dear. Our suggestion: if you don't want to talk about something, DON'T TALK ABOUT IT. Because now we really don't care to hear from or about you, you little legend of comedy you.

• With Kaye Ballard, it's generational. She may be gay (or not), but people of her generation are a bit--or a whole lot--more discrete even today. She may be a celebrity, but she's still of another generation, and it can be quite difficult for a person of her age to come out if that's what she was doing here. The closeted ones with whom I have a problem are those who are of this current generation--those who came of age in the '70s, '80s and '90s, and still evade, lie and stay in the closet.

• hump

• There you go again r13, always bringing Anderson Cooper's closet into the discussion.

• Don't Cry for Me Cincinatti.

• I think she's referring to lesbian bed death, and concluding that no fucking = no sexuality. Silly, really.

• Who's interested in Kaye Ballard's dusty muffin at this point?

• Is Martha Raye's widower still alive?

• Oh God, that horrid Mark Harris. He used to be on Howard Stern's show all the time. He had already done too much work on his face, back then. Would hate to see him now. Anyone have any pics ?

  Anne%20Jeffreys

• Saw he's living with his adult daughter, in NY, and says he's gone through almost all of the $3 million Raye left him. He tore down her charming, ranch style home in Bel Air, after she died, and built what we call here, a Persian Palace -like monstrosity. Have the feeling he lost that, or why would he be living with his daughter . The epitome of the vain, gay, goldigger, who preys on old women, looks after them, and makes sure their wills are changed,for them. Raye's only daughter ended up with nothing, thanks to Mark's manipulation of Raye, & her will.

  Melodie

• Tell us about it, r21!

  Celeste Holm's children

• Sounds like an appropriate comment from someone of her generation.

• r23 appropriate? it's not even coherent.

• [quote]He tore down her charming, ranch style home in Bel Air, after she died, and built what we call here, a Persian Palace -like monstrosity. R21. Is he one of the Shahs of Sunset?

• Odds are that Ms Ballard was trying to find a graceful way to conceal the truth, which is that she can't remember.

• She's telling you exactly like it is. Not everyone is a lesbian! Not everyone is gay! Get over it and move on!

  anonymous

• r27 = Cheryl

• But then why does she reference Ellen and Rosie? She really made no sense and it was ridiculous for the interviewer not to press her a little further and simply say what do you mean EXACTLY?

• RE 22 What slse do you wan't to know ? Talk to her daughter . Or, read 'find a death's column, about Harris, and Raye's daughter, Melodye Condos.

• Mr. and Mrs. Harris at Find A Death .....

  http://www.findadeath.com/Deceased/r/Martha Raye/martha_raye.htm

• What is RE 22?

• Mark Harris fathered a child? With what? This is a gossipy link to how it all went down.

  http://www.findadeath.com/Deceased/r/Martha Raye/martha_raye.htm

• Kaye hit on my great aunt. Not kidding. Family lore. Can't say who my aunt was, but it was in the sixties.

• I don't understand why it's so necessary to make a public announcement about your gayness these days. I'm so exhausted by hearing about other people's sexual preferences, I don't know what to do. Yeah, you've got your bigots in the world, but do you really want to appease them? If we're all just being ourselves, everyone who matters knows. So stop it, unless you want to see me running around proclaiming my hetero status every couple of days.

  Anonymous, Too

• Go back to iVillage, R35. What the fuck are you even doing here?

• A late friend of mine (out gay) who used to know Kaye said, "of course, you know Kaye Ballard's a lesbian..." and proceeded to tell us how he cracked her up by telling her he was from Coos Bay, Oregon. She didn't believe there was a town called "Coos".

• Martha Raye, the big mouth here.

• Reminds me of Holland Taylor's dancing around the issue in a recent interview...

  http://www.shewired.com/box-office/2012/01/20/holland-taylor-lone-star-state-mind-interview?page=0,0

  The Glass Closet

• But you do tell us everyday, R35, you do. Everytime you bore us to tears in the office with stories about your slob husband and your three nasty kids you tell us. And when you turn around we laugh at you behind your back.

  The gay people of the world

• She doesn't want people to see her as a lesbian. She's trying to be nice and pc about it. Give her a break.

• Yes, r41. It would be TERRIBLE for Kaye Ballard to be seen as a lesbian. Why, people would faint dead away from the shock if Kaye were to reveal that she is an expert muff diver. After all, it is just horrible to be SEEN as a lesbian...Just ask Ellen.

  Oprah. Queen Latifah, Michelle "Sausage Lover" Rodriguez, Eva Mendez, Jada PINKe

• Heard from a big-time gay editor in the 1970s who lived in the Osborne, where Kaye and Liz Smith also lived (together as lovers), that one night Kaye was seen chasing Liz down West 57th brandishing a meat cleaver in her hand. It was the Sicilian in her.

  Countess%20Helen%20von%20Teschner

• Kaye Ballard?! I thought she dropped off the face of the earth after that strange program of the 60s The Mothers in Law was mercifully cancelled. How the piss old is she, 110?

  anon

• R35 you realize you are on a gay board, right?

• How dare you tell us to stop proclaiming our sexuality, and on a GAY board!

  gay woman who thinks fraus have no business here

• CLEAR PAGE ONE! WE'VE GOT A LATE-BREAKING KAYE BALLARD ITEM!

  hildy%20johnson

• Who is this lesbian?

• Kaye will be 87 years old in November, so I can see her point (I'm nothing!) I am also enjoying her work on the Mothers-in-Law with the irreplaceable Eve Arden currently running weekly on Me-TV.

• Holy shit, R35, you're a dumb cunt.

• R39 She sure did dance alright.

• You know what? Never liked her. Or that awful sitcom she did with Eve Arden, 'MOTHERS-IN-LAW'.

• W&W r47

• Come on, people, Kaye is in a really tough position... She knows that a big part of her stardom rests on men fantasizing about sleeping with her. Why should she risk destroying those fantasies and suffering career damage because of it?

• i think the average age of the "interested" viewer of this thread is 500 years old. seriously. no, really, seriously. oh dear. eldergay. break a hip. or two.

• R54 makes a reasonable case for actors remaining closet. Listen up!

• Always liked her. Once had an album she did of the Peanuts comic strip. Very cool. And, of course, Eve Arden was one of my favorites.

  anonymous

• Kaye (and by the way, we don't hear of many girls being named Kaye nowadays) is worried coming out might hurt her career.

• I think a weird part of this is an inferiority complex on Kaye's part. She really doesn't see herself as anyone important enough to make a difference, especially at this point in her life and career.

• That's what's so sad, r59 - that she doesn't realize there are thousands of teenagers out there ashamed and afraid of their gayness who might actually gain the courage to accept themselves if a role model like Kaye Ballard came out of the closet. Then there are all the bullies in the schools, who might think twice about picking on a gay kid if gayness were associated with someone who they considered cool like Kaye Ballard.

• It's a generational thing. Generally, but not always, people of Kaye's age didn't come out because of the era in which they were brought up. But nowadays they find themselves living in an era of openness where so many people are out. But that still doesn't erase their years of having to stay silent. For people of a certain age (Kaye is 87), coming out is a difficult thing, so they couch it with vague language. And you can't blame them. Hell, if Aaron Schock won't come out, we can't expect Kaye Ballard to lead in this area. Give the woman a break. However, don't give Schock an inch. He's an asshole working for the enemny who should be outed.

• oh r60, you are awful.

  But%20I%20like%20you

• Though I know r60 was being facetious, I think he or she exactly expresses Kaye's point which is that young people today couldn't care less about her sexuality so why make an announcement and appear foolish and presumptuous.

• r63 But SHE brought it up.

• [quote]But I’m nothing. At the moment, I have someone who takes care of me, a friend for 40 years, but nothing! Why do they automatically think you have to make a declaration? I’m glad that Ellen and Rosie have done it, but I have no reason to do that and won’t. She's pitiful, really. She thinks that if she came out (BY NOW) that she wouldn't be making a difference. Sad. Isn't she pushing 90?

• If there's any profession that encourages paranoia, it's acting.

• So why dud you click on this thread, r55? Go back and find a Justin Bieber thread that will interest you.

• Kaye also realizes how ridiculous she would appear coming out at the age of 87 when she knows we all knew the truth long ago.

• r68 People can come out casually [c.f. Jim Parsons].

• You can't compare Kaye to Jim Parsons who is in a hit TV series and starred on Broadway this summer and is constantly being interviewed. Compare her to Merv Griffin or Van Johnson in their elder years, maybe, but not Jim Parsons.

• r70 I don't think it makes a difference in this instance. Ballard chose to bring up rumours about her sexuality, not the interviewer. And it's not like Anderson Cooper, where a lot of people were pushing for her to come out.

• Kaye is gay, she has a partner and they've lived in Palm Springs forever. End of story.

• But you CAN compare her to someone like Lily Tomlin, who didn't discuss the issue for years and would never confirm or deny it, and only recently (now in her 70s) came out and admitted she was a lesbian and had been with her partner Jane Wagner for years. Why can't Kaye do the same? It's not like her career will suffer - her career's been basically dead for 10 years or more.

  Another%20old%20dyke

• saw her in Provincetown in the 80's

  Anonymous

• Does it occur to anyone that at 87 years old she may very well not have the most lucid take on the subject? If she demonstrates contradictory impulses and sends mixed messages, give the old dear a bit of understanding and compassion.

• Kaye Ballard

  http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v368/saps/BALLARDIS.jpg

• r73, can you (or anyone) please link the article in which Lily Tomlin explicitly comes out? I missed that one.

• Who gives a crap?

  Nancy%20Culp%20

• Here you go, R77...

  http://www.advocate.com/comedy/2009/11/10/entertainer-lily-tomlin

  Not%20Kaye%20Ballard

• Kaye definitely has a lesbian jawline.

  The Ghost of Eve Arden

• I moved to NYC in 1981 and dated a guy who was friends with Kaye Ballard and her girlfriend (as in lesbian) Candy. She got us tix to see TORCH SONG TRILOGY (She appeared on the tv ad and Harvey let her have tix when she wanted them)and we went for coffee with them. Fast forward to 2007(I think). I'm at a book conference in Washington DC and Kaye is at booth promoting her autobiography. I say "hello" and ask her if she remembers my old bf and she did, stills sees him. Then I asked her if she remembered meeting us for coffee with Candy. She suddenly got a strange, kind of frozen, fake grin on her face, turned around and walked away from me.

  Jessie

• Kaye is 87 today!

• Did she hit you with her cane R81?

• Kaye's girlfriend is an actress named Myvanwy Jenn.

• She has a new girlfriend? Kaye gets around for an 87 year old! More power to her.

  And%20come%20out%20PLEASE

• Kaye on "The View" discusses getting fucked by Marlon Brando. Did this really happen, or is she using him as a posthumous beard?

  http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DIPXPh3E07NM

• In the days of the old Mike Douglas Show in the 1970s, he used to ask her repeatedly why she never married. Kaye always threw out the "I just never met the right guy" line. Being an older hefty woman, no one but Douglas asked her and she was not required to lie. To her credit, she did not make up dates or affairs with men; no platonic love affair like Elaine Stritch used with Ben Gazzara. I don't believe for a second she fucked Marlon Brando. Kaye was in her thirties in the 1950s and she always knew who she was -- according to Liz Smith.

• Kaye is openly out as a lesbian in the Palm Springs area. She and her partner of more than 40 years have been guests at my friends home several times. I met her partner, along with Kaye, at a tribute to Ann-Margret in Palm Springs as well... her partner was incredibly sweet, ensured Kaye was seated OK, knew when she was to speak on stage, had her cocktail, etc. Then her partner sat away from Kaye, hidden from those asking for autographs, pictures, etc. I felt sad for her, however, it appears this is how their relationship works best for the two of them. At their ages, who the hell cares!

• Kaye was never the same after the death of her daughter, Florence.

• Kaye Ballard??? Who cares about Kaye Ballard. Maybe 40 years ago. Maybe she is just trying to generate some interest in herself? Not that we care....

• Christ, I suppose now that spring is here DLers are coming out of their hibernation and deciding someone care about opening up a really deadly thread. Puh-leese. Next thing they'll be talking about Elaine's alleged departure from the Carlyle. "LINE!!!!"

• We LOVE old ladies, your asswipe, R90.

• Calm down now, r92.No need to get nasty. Much has happened in the past 40+ years. You are aware of that, aren't you? You are aware this is 2013, aren't you? Kaye's time is long past. There are puh-lenty of old ladies to like, but Kaye Ballard isn't one of them.

• Dirk Bogarde used to pretend his partner was the gardener.

• [quote]Dirk Bogarde used to pretend his partner was the gardener. Pretend?

  Juan%2C%20still%20collecting%20residuals

• R93, are you new here?

• More Kaye stories!

• Is she going to check out the new "Cinderella" on Broadway?

• Kaye sounds delightful.

  Right%20on%20sister%20girl.%20Keep%20ur%20muffin%20biz%20private.

• Don't come out, Kaye, it's not worth it!

  Lizabeth%20Scott

• [quote]It's a generational thing. Generally, but not always, people of Kaye's age didn't come out because of the era in which they were brought up. True. I knew a couple in their 80s out on Fire Island. They'd had one of those original "dressing room" cabins for a house and then built a new place and lived there for 50 years. They had so many stories. When a writer came around doing a book on the residents of the area, he and his lover wouldn't cooperate. They really didn't want people to know they were gay, their families, mostly.

• We need a Liz Scott thread.

• Put this thread back to sleep...RIP

  anonymous

• Kaye who?

• r104 Ballard. Kaye Ballard. Jennifer Hudson played her in Dreamgirls.

• She is a lesbian ! Even in the 1960's when she did "The Mother's In-Law" show from 1967 to 1969, she (like Lily Tomlin),were gay women,you simply did not talk about that in those days. She lives with her "wife" Wonda in L.A. now for over 30 years ! She is 87 today and is a 60's icon of comedy and talent. However, at her age, do not expect her to come "OUT" or declare her lesbianism anytime soon !

  http://www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ajax.html%3Ft%3D9929354%23page:postReply%2C9929354%2Cundefined

  Madge

• She is a lesbian and still alive at 87 ! She came from the days when people did not discuss their sexuality....for fear ! Their careers would be ruined, they would be criticized, blackmailed,terrorized and even murdered !I met her once on Fire Island in The Pines in the late 60's at a fabulous cocktail party while the hit show on CBS "The Mother's In-Law" was airing. She was a nice, genuine, vibrant and full of life Italian-American star that was down-to-earth and likable. Everyone at the party was gay and she was with her lover "Wonda". She never married,and much like Lily Tomlin, were women from another generation that simply did not discuss their sexualities in a time when homosexuality was not acceptable.

  http://www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ajax.html%3Ft%3D11536950%23page:postReply%2C11536950%2C6

  Madge

• She is an icon from a by-gone era and was very much a "STAR" of comedy-TV in the 60's and 70's. Her hit-show: "The Mother's In Law" with Eve Arden ran from 1967 to 1969 on CBS and she also appeared in "The Laugh-In" in the 1960's.She is alive and well today at 87 and a "National Treasure!" She appeared on The View in 2006 with Rosie O'Donnell and was very vibrant and likable. An Italian-American actress, she lives in Manhattan and was never married never had children. She,like Lily Tomlin of that era, were lesbians that simply did not discuss their sexuality in a hostile time towards gay people. Times have certainly changed, but do not expect her to come "OUT" any time soon ! What would be the point at 87 years old, anyhow ? She has had a "wife" and partner for over 30 years. She still goes to Fire Island on occasion to Cherry Grove,where she has vacationed in Summer since the 1950's.It was once a gay "Hide-Away" for stars that wished to remain clandestine and would arrive via private boat. Today, gays and lesbians are OUT LOUD & PROUD...and no longer have to "hide" and remain under the radar-this is a good thing !

  http://www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ajax.html%3Ft%3D11536950%23page:postReply%2C11536950%2C6

  Ronnie%20Whelan

• R106-8, you've made your point - three times. Kaye and Wonda no longer have sex, therefore, they are not lesbians anymore.

  Lainie%20Kazan%2C%20not%20a%20lesbian%20anymore