OP, you'd be surprised how many of your 'fraus' are actually pearl-clutching gay men. This obsession that straight women are compulsively posting here is deranged.
It's interesting these days what troll-dar reveals.
R1 does better if the words have pictures with them.
I sometimes think I must be an eldergay in a fraus body. I watched a lot of the old hollywood movies as a child and poured over Hollywood Babylon when I first came across it maybe 20 years or so ago. I love English history, especially scandalous royal stuff and love that this is a place where this stuff is discussed and dissected from time to time.
I love the gossip on here, and whenever something big happens I am eager to see what is said here about it. You've entertained me, informed me and I thank you all for that.
I very rarely post here, and one of the first times I did about 5 or so years ago (on a thread asking about a female perspective) I was said to be a gay male pretending to be a female. That only confirmed my suspicion that I must be a eldergay at heart.
What does trolldar reveal?
"Frau" is a term for Obese Republican House Wife/Wantabe, so none.
Honestly, who cares? The vast majority of the women on this site are not hateful, or obsessed with pushing their mommy agenda. I read a lot of interesting contributions from straight women on here. The argument against them is that they make this place less gay or something--well, I guess, but really it just seems like there's a hardcore of angry gay men on here who genuinely dislike women.
[quote]it just seems like there's a hardcore of angry gay men on here who genuinely dislike women.
While that may be true, there are also gay men, not angry, who prefer a forum that caters to gay men. They're like the men who enjoyed mens clubs before laws were changed that forced them to open their membership to females. It's more of a desire to spend time with other guys than having a "dislike" of women.
We also have a few feminine men, like misshelenbedd, who obviously hate all women.
"DataLounge: get your fix of gay gossip, news and pointless bitchery."
That's the credo. Nowhere does it mention being a gentleman's club. I come here to learn more than just what size some celeb's penis is.
I believe the word you are grappling for, OP, is frauFISH
[quote]That's the credo. Nowhere does it mention being a gentleman's club.
And we all know it was founded by women for women and didn't get its start as a sidebar to a gay dating site.
I admit I'm a straight chick who loves DL but in no way am I a frau. I have a 24-year old son but I never did fit in with the mommy/PTA/soccer mom crowd. They didn't like me either because I was single and attractive. The fat fraus do not approve of single, attractive moms.
My son's godfather is a gay man btw.
I don't know why but R12 really annoys me to no end.
I figured it would R13 but I posted anyway.
So, 10% of posters are fraus in gay men's bodies. Good to know.
BTW, how can one tell if a man is really a frau?
The thing is, I imagine a good number of posters to be these Southern, obese gay men (kind of like Mickey from The Comeback), who spent their childhood dusting their mother's Hummel figurine collections and fixing them mint juleps, closeted and still thinking they are passing as straight "bachelors" in their little Southern towns. The kind who considers "Designing Women" to be the best sitcom ever. They tend to be casually racist, jingoistic, pseudo-religious, judgmental, anti-intellectual, in short, a male version of a Midwestern frau.
R16, I came out in the South, so I know those types of guys; and I get the feeling you're spot on with all that. Especially this:
"They tend to be casually racist, jingoistic, pseudo-religious, judgmental, anti-intellectual, in short, a male version of a Midwestern frau."
Yup. Add heavy drinking to all of that and you've got a good number of DL's posters. I often wonder how many of these messes I used to know before I left. It's actually sad and explains a lot of the bitterness around here.
I doubt many women, much less staight women or "fraus" as the mysogynist queens on this thread are wont to call them, even know this website exists.
"While that may be true, there are also gay men, not angry, who prefer a forum that caters to gay men. They're like the men who enjoyed mens clubs before laws were changed that forced them to open their membership to females. It's more of a desire to spend time with other guys than having a "dislike" of women."
So this site was not intended for lesbians ? or bis? This is what I don't get about this site. Isn't it intended for the LGBT community - not just gay men?
For the record, I'm a bi woman, who likes reading a lot of the gossipy/movie threads here, but who doesn't feel very welcome because of the frequent use of the word "frau" and the many misogynistic posts. (Hopefully these guys just represent a minority of gay guys).
The problem is that it's changed the whole tone of this place.
I guess people like R20 think that only gay men are witty or entertaining or interested in cock?
R13, r12 is annoying because she assumes that the other mothers did not like her because she is so much more attractive. She then went on to point out how fat the other mothers are. It was also unnecessary to mention the fact that her child's godfather is gay.
I think a lot of gay men identify with fraus but are afraid to admit it.
[quote]They tend to be casually racist, jingoistic, pseudo-religious, judgmental, anti-intellectual, in short, a male version of a Midwestern frau.
I've met plenty of these in real life. They're called straight men.
All the bitter ones here are fraus in gay men's bodies:
People like r19 who talk about whether or not they feel "welcome" really annoy me. You will experience some places as more or less "welcoming." Deal with it.
R18= mysangist BFF troll.
[quote]They didn't like me either because I was single and attractive.
Are you that chick from the Daily Mail article?
R12 is annoying because she thinks the reason other women don't like her is because she's so stunningly gorgeous, when in fact it's because she lacks self awareness and is a conceited moron. She's probably that fugly British "don't hate me because I'm beautiful" chick.
Also annoying....she thinks she deserves a parade for having a gay man as a godfather to her kid.
r29 really NAILED it. Thread closed.
Middle-aged woman here, who comes here for the "eldergay" threads. There doesn't seem to be any place else on the internet where I can intelligently discuss the camp elements of "The Ten Commandments", or find tasteful friends who like criticizing the decor of NY society apartments. So, I've been here since the days of dial-up.
And I, too, think I'm not a frau, I'm more like an old hippie.
[quote]The problem is that it's changed the whole tone of this place.
The real problem, R20, is that the tone of this place changed dramatically when most of the funny and intelligent gay men, who regularly read/posted here, left because they tired of being belittled by moronic twinks.
OP, You didn't offer a category for straight girls that have nothing in common with your frau label. I see DL is a site for those who are more original and may not exactly fit in with the still very confining societal norms. I especially identify with those posters from small town, conservative, religious environments who are struggling to become who they truly want to be in spite of being "brainwashed" with negative, fearful attitudes. Much better and cheaper than counseling from those who "just don't get it."
Perhaps I'm in the wrong for contributing to the hot male threads; just that some posters have very good taste. The humorous but logical discussions on a wide variety of current topics is what has me hooked. Just read a book on why Courtney Love more than likely hired a hitman to kill Kurt Cobain; so why wasn't she arrested? (Yes I know there are old threads on this cunt, who really deserves that "DL misogynist" label.)
If I'm reading a thread and it states "I'm a straight woman" I skip over it.
I like R35.
R36 reminds me of a homofascist.
R37, Thanks. I do wonder about the few haters on DL, as they seem to be angry about EVERYTHING, not just female posters. Reminds me too much of the extremist and racist, anti-gay, anti-environmentalist, anti-immigrant, etc haters on the far right. Luckily there aren't that many of these tormentors on DL. Maybe they're all just dying of alcoholism and drug addiction, and I should be more sympathetic to their terrible pain.
R33, those posters sound like spoiled little girls.
They were chased out of here by moronic twinks?
Ahhhhhh! A twink belittled me online! I'm going to go cry in a corner now. They're so mean and scary!
You sound old and bitter. There are still plenty of funny and intelligent men (who aren't afraid of rude twinks) on this board. Also, lots of funny and intelligent women. I do understand though about how they sometimes mess things up. For example, I always feel that certain threads about gay sex (like rimming) always attract judgmental women who think some of the things we do in bed are icky. Granted that may jut be gay trolls pretending to be fraus.
R39, Straight girls who are open-minded sometimes do the same things you do. Although I've heard that that's why many men aren't faithful; their wives are too puritanical.
[quote] Granted that may jut be gay trolls pretending to be fraus.
This is the attitude I hate the most about DL today. No one can deny that there is a substantial population of straight women here, not to mention the steady parade of morons of both genders who land here after Googling Teresa Giudice or foot fetishes, yet every negative or offensive post is automatically attributed to us eldergays. That's a pretty sweet deal if you're a straight girl.
I think the motto at the top of the board should be updated to "get your fix of gossip, news and pointless bitchery" -- striking the word "gay." That would officially welcome you frauen into the DL population, and you can start owning the shit you post.
You first, 41. Owning your own shit might really do you some good.
Why not begin with your delusion that you can identify the gender of a post by the posting.
What exactly is a 'frau in a gay man's body'? Does that mean a woman with body dysmorphia, a spray tan and ill-placed tattoos?
Listen, cuntflap at R42, I know that I [italic]can't[/italic] identify the gender of a poster. [italic]That was my entire fucking point.[/italic]
Since we both agree on that, are you able to take the next logical step and acknowledge that not every single offensive post on this board is made by a gay man?
Look, Smegmouth R41, I never said it was.
R41, you are reading WAY too much into it.
Example, I say troll and you assume I'm talking about eldergays?
And when did anyone say that every negative post is by a gay man and that women are always the victims?
And you may want to stop calling strangers online "cuntflap" if you're so desperate to prove you're not a negative eldergay.
I'm an eldergay in the body of a younger gay.
Oh they always hang themselves, R40.
Sure ya are, R47. Sure ya are...
I am a negative eldergay, R46, and quite proud of it. And R42 is apparently pissed at me because she agrees with every word I say, so I feel quite justified in calling her a cuntflap.
And you said "[italic]gay[/italic] trolls pretending to be fraus" in your post at R40. Own your shit.
Why are you so offended at the suggestion that DL be officially labeled for men and women? Isn't that a good thing for our poor, unappreciated female posters?
R50, you may be proud of being a negative eldergay, but you're not a very smart one.
You also don't sound very confident of your manhood, otherwise you wouldn't hate women so much.
R51 can't address anything I said at R50 because she's completely wrong, so she just posts how stupid and mean and emasculated I am.
Considering I am the one advocating that DL no longer be labeled a gay message board, I am the most female-positive poster on this thread. Can't we work together to make DL the home for EVERYONE who posts here, not just the gays? Why WOULDN'T you want that to happen?
OP thinks everyone who has different opinions than he does must be either a frau or a frau in a gay man's body.
It's actually *you* who agrees with *me.* Don't get it twisted.
And stop pretending that you were justified to call me a name. You weren't.
Pathology has a way of rearing its ugly head. Thanks for being an example.
The fraus on the site are as bad as ever. Worse. They're getting militant about protecting their cats and cunts from defamation and inhumane humor by the evil queers who for some reason populate the DL and who for some reason cannot act like "normal people."
r41/r44/etc. is, of course, misshelenbedd.
The dead giveaway:
"Listen, cuntflap at [R42], I know that I can't identify the gender of a poster. That was my entire fucking point."
Whatever, bitch at R56.
Can't hang? Don't hang.
R42 and I continue to be on the same wavelength, as I couldn't agree more with her post at R58. And you called me delusional in your hateful, misguided post before I called you a cuntflap. Why am I the bad guy?
Won't even one straight poster support my proposal to make Data Lounge a board for everyone, gay and straight, male and female?
3 pages in and nobody has actually understood what the OP was talking about. It kinda makes it even funnier.
R59- why does it have to be a straight person who supports your proposal?
I blame Della.
Ask your therapist why you're the bad guy, R59. If you don't have one, get one.
Because of the reaction to my first post, R60. After years of posts from straight people saying, "We have every right to be here! You can't keep up out! This board is not just for gay people!", I proposed that we make it official, and you can see how well that went over. Why the pushback now, straights?
C'mon, Della, you agree with me, right? Don't you feel DL belongs to you just as much as the gays who post here?
Oh, r63, here I go...
I've been here since 2001. Throughout my time here (Helena Handbasket, Della Gette) I've abided by a few self-imposed rules:
1. I stick to posting in politics and gossip threads unless the subject is amenable to straight woman's pov. For example a few years ago there was a thread here titled "She found out her fiance was gay." That thread went on for over 100 hundred replies and I generated quite a few of those.
2. I've never weighed in on any topic with "As a straight woman..." or variations of that because I came to the DL fully aware that it is a gay oriented site. As such, the last thing I'd want to read here, if I were a lesbian or a gay man, is a post by a straight person that seeks to "enlighten" gays and lesbians. In other words, so fucking what if I'm a straight woman? What could I possibly offer that would contribute to a specifically gay thread topic that obviously speaks to being gay?
I must admit that I'm a bit unclear about why the word "gay" should be dropped from the "Get your gay fix..." I'm soryy about that. Could you re-state the reasons for your position on that?
ooops, I forgot to add , r63, that I do think the DL belongs to me because the $18.00 subscription fee tells me so. And it's worth every penny.
I'm glad you feel that way, Della, because you should. Considering the quantity of thoughtful content you've provided over the years, your place at DL should never be questioned. I've been here since 1999 myself, so I'm going to assume that you would agree with me that the overall tone of the board has changed in the last decade -- please correct me if I'm wrong.
While none of us know for sure, I don't think it's a radical position that there are more straight people posting here than there used to be. A poll from a few months ago showed that around 40% of posters identified as straight males or females, though many posters felt the poll was inaccurate. My own subjective measure is the amount of content that's of interest to me as a gay man -- almost all of it in the old days, very little today.
This is what has been bugging the shit out of me over the past few months: though DL has plenty of both gay and straight posters, all offensive posts are automatically attributed to gay men. And no one ever questions that assumption. For the last several weeks, any time I've run across this bullshit, I've asked, "Why do you assume a gay man wrote that?" Not one person ever replied; hardly anyone else stepped up to challenge it. Related to that are statements like the one R40 made that started my ranting in this thread: "the mean ol' gays are pretending to be straight girls just to make us look bad," i.e. lying in the aforementioned poll to make it look like more straight women posted here ('cause THAT'S the dream of every gay DLer).
Look, I have no illusions that DL will ever be a predominately gay board again. That's a shame, because I really loved it here in the past. I've gone through the stages of grief, and am looking for somewhere else to make a virtual home, so I really shouldn't care what goes on here anymore. But it's salt in the wound that the gays have to be the scapegoat for whatever nastiness people want to come here and spout. And I suspect that's the appeal for some of our newer straight posters -- they get some transgressive thrill in believing they're passing as a gay person, while showing their contempt by pinning their bad behavior on us. It would explain the complete lack of enthusiasm (so far) among straights for dropping the gay DL identity.
So that's why I think "gay" should be deleted from the DL motto. There's enough of a straight presence here to preclude attributing the opinions of DL as the opinions of gay people. By accurately presenting the membership, you'll accurately distribute the responsibility for the posts.
Frankly, I think both of you should chill out and try and get over it.
I'll do a frau flush thread....watch for it
R66, I don't think that you should drop the "gay identity," nor do I blame anyone but haters, who could ID of ANY sexuality, for "bad behavior." However if you want a thread to contain only responses from gay men, then you should state that. I thought that it was appropriate to identify myself as a straight female, IF I deemed it relevant to what I was contributing. It also gave permission for others to skip my post if they felt misogynistic.
I think there are more gay men in frau bodies here than the opposite. That should have been one of the poll choices.
R70, I agree. I didn't understand the poll for that very reason.
If frau refers to close-minded and conventional, then everyone on DL is a frau to some degree. Everyone seems to have their own hang-ups, hypocrisies, conventional beliefs, or conformist, lazy opinions which indicate a serious lack of critical thinking on part of the poster.
What's the equivalent term for straight men? You can't tell me that they're all open-minded, tolerant, creative, and liberal. I'd say they have the sweetest deal of all. It's clear to me that some post here (and they're not all gay-friendly), yet no one ever suspects them of any negative or offensive posts.