What are the Frauen in your offices and workplaces drooling over lately, when it comes to dessrts or new Applebee's menu items? Ours have been in a rut lately because of a rash of orthopedic symptoms and pet distresses, so it has mostly been all about prescriptions and feline incontinence. I miss the days of endless snorting stories of "it was so rich it was better than sex" triple fudge turtle cheesecake sundaes with Kahlua sauce and Godiva shavings.
No offense, Ladies of the DL, of course. You know we love and respect you. After all, you're not crazy, are you?
[quote]I miss the days of endless snorting stories of "it was so rich it was better than sex" triple fudge turtle cheesecake sundaes with Kahlua sauce and Godiva shavings.
If you miss those days, why don't you buy something to bring in and share with the cubefrauen? Then film the feeding and upload it for our amusement.
That actually made me laugh, although I usually avoid any posts containing the words Frau or Cube or any combination thereof. I wok in an all male office so it's 'cubefraus' are just foreign to me.
Cake pops, macaroons
They were discussing something the other day, and I didn't get the whole thing, but you take a box of angel food cake mix and a box of yellow cake mix, throw them together (do something or add something here I didn't catch) and then pour it into a coffee cup and nuke in the microwave for 60 seconds.
Apparently the kids clamor for it like crack whores.
Here, I googled. this is what they were talking about (note the stern warning about egg white allergies!):
3, 2, 1 CAKE
These individual little cakes are amazing
And ready to eat in one minute! They are perfect
For whenever you feel like a treat without all the fat
And calories that cake can have. Genius idea!
1 box Angel Food Cake Mix
1 box Cake Mix - Any Flavor
In a ziploc bag, combine the two cake mixes together
And mix well. For each individual cake serving, take
Out 3 Tablespoons of the cake mix combination and
With 2 Tablespoons of water in a small microwave-safe
Container. Microwave on high for 1 minute, and you have
Your own instant individual little cake!
KEEP remaining cake mixture stored in the ziploc bag
And use whenever you feel like a treat! You can top
Each cake with a dollop of fat free whipped topping
And/or some fresh fruit.
This recipe is called 3, 2, 1 Cake because all you need
To remember is
"3 tablespoons mix,
2 tablespoons water,
1 minute in the microwave!"
TRY various flavors of cake mix like carrot, red velvet, pineapple,
Lemon, orange, etc. Just remember that one of the mixes has
To be the angel food mix; the other is your choice.
The flavor possibilities are endless!
The best thing is, you open both cake mixes into a gallon
Storage bag, one that 'zip locks' or 'self-seals', or a
Container that seals tightly, shake the two cake mixes to
Blend and then make the recipe. Storage of mix is simple,
Put it on a shelf. No need to refrigerate, since the mix is dry.
Always remember, that one of the cake mixes MUST be
Angel Food. The other can be any flavor.
The Angel Food is the cake mix that has the eggs whites
In it. So, if, anyone is allergic to egg whites, you can NOT
Serve this recipe.
Wait, I am confused. So, at least ONE of the cake mixes has to be Angel Food?
But I can't use it! Little Declan's head swells up like a balloon if he comes within ten feet of egg whites!
Feed little Declan as many egg whites as you can get down him. He'll eventually become desensitized.
I love how the frauen think 3-2-1 cake is a healthy snack because it's low fat. Meanwhile each serving has 50 carbs, zero nutrition and causes blood sugar to spike to the ceiling. And you just KNOW they aren't serving it with fruit--more likely triple chocolate butter cream frosting out of a can.
WHy ruin it by mixing it with angel cake? It would be better to mix chocolate cake with strawberry cake to make chocolate-covered strawberries. Or coconut cake with phineapple cake to make penis colada. In fact, I think I'm going to try that tomorrow to bring to work for everyone.
wait, does one of the mixes have to be angel food? how long do we cook it in the microwave and how much water do we add?
**Join us for Spring Dessert Friday**
3pm in the 4th floor, LARGE Conference Room
Hi Gang -
It's that time once again to celebrate the colors of Spring by showing off the yummy confections and pastries we've all been experimenting with over the long winter months.
Please join us in the 4th floor conference room on Friday. Sure, it's smack dab in the middle of the afternoon just as work productivity is rebounding from lunch, as daily deadlines approach and yes, Helene used her power of working for the boss to kick a meeting of those pesky IT geeks out of the room - so let the fun be DEVOURED!
Jana Taylor has promised us a variety of her new Cake Pops!!! (I hear they are DEEE VINE!) and of course Azalia Jackson will bring her yummy banana (woops, sorry Azalia, I mean 'NANA) pudding!
Connor Brice from the marketing graphics group has dedicated himself to bringing in a variety of colorful French macroons and I here he and his 'roommate' Kevin have been working overtime this week developing their own special color palettes just for the occasion!
I may bring my popular Better-Than-Chocolate-Sex cake and maybe, just MAYBE throw in a heaping helping of that strawberry summer fluff bowl dessert I perfected from my TupperWare recipe book! Cross your fingers!
Please bring your favorite dish. Ashley in IT will handle the plates, forks and napkins (Ashley isn't known for her cooking prowess as we know but on a better note, she HAS been accepted to compete in a Dinah Shore qualifying ladies gold event in May over at Lookey Loo State Park Golf Course and Church Resort. Go Ashley with your bad self!)
See you there and prepare to eat the colors of spring!
Marilyn - Executive Assistant to Account Manager Joanne Tyler-DeSoto
I'm afraid to ask what a "Better-Than-Chocolate-Sex" cake is.
Marilyn: Can someone PLEASE remember that we need a gluton free alternative for those of us suffering from the horror that is Celiac Disease? Don't forget what happened last year after I accidentally ate the strawberry short cake swirl that I was assured had no wheat or nuts in it! We still can't get the stench out of the third stall on the right. Also, would someone please tell Connor and his 'roommate' to go easy on the red dye number two-they are still not sure if that is what caused Mr. Overbea's cancer scare last year. Thank ever so!
[quote]Or coconut cake with phineapple cake to make penis colada.
Freudian slip or intentional typo?
[quote] gluton free alternative for those of us suffering from the horror that is Celiac Disease?
I assume this means no eating.
Hi Marilyn and Team, -
My apologies but I feel it my duty to remind everyone that, as a mother of three, each and every item at our dessert potluck should and MUST be free of nuts in every way, including being made in a nut-free home.
You all will remember how my Braydon came down with a horrible case of the sneezes after I got too close to him with some of Shelia Mercado's homemade cheesecake filling given out as Christmas gifts this past December, (No Ruth, it was NOT the holiday flower arrangement. I KNOW that cheesecake filling had been around nuts!).
Please, think of those of us with children and conform to our demands and standards. It is, afterall, for the CHILDREN!
Thanks! See ya there!
Carnie Wilson had in one of her cookbooks a recipe for a decadent cake, that seems uniquely cubefrau. You dump a box of chocolate cake mix into a pan. Dump on a can of cherry pie filling and about a pound of butter. Don't stir, just put it in the oven like that and cook it.
[quote]I love how the frauen think 3-2-1 cake is a healthy snack because it's low fat. Meanwhile each serving has 50 carbs, zero nutrition and causes blood sugar to spike to the ceiling. And you just KNOW they aren't serving it with fruit--more likely triple chocolate butter cream frosting out of a can.
Just eat it with a jumbo sized diet coke ya big silly. That negates all the calories.
R20 - your post made me literally LOL.
R23, that is known as "dump cake." Really.
I feel a little sick.
A lady at work makes the dump cake for all special occasions. People actually request her 'special cake'. I didn't think it was that special.
I have my own office and don't really associate with the copier class. I wouldn't mind I'm sure their nice but neither of us would care to share menus. However there is one female here who could be a pastry chef. She knows I have a wicked sweet tooth. She makes me something about once a month. - I know I've strayed way off topic already - Last week I mentioned how I love rum balls but it seems no one makes those anymore. So there she was, a few days later, a big box of rum balls. They were incredible.
LOL, R17, we wish!
I'm in a mood to fuck-off, so unless someone stops me in about 5 minutes by telling how horrible it is, I'm sneaking off to buy 3,2,1 ingredients, and then I'm spending the afternoon doing lab experiments in the office microwave.
R31, I'd be glad to hear your results. Cake mixes go on sale for 99cents fairly often & I'd be inclined to experiment -- especially since fresh strawberries are currently available for $1.49/lb.
OK, here's my verdict for R32 and anyone else who cares.
You wind up with a little coffee cup shaped sponge cake. It really does seem to be an idiot-proof process if you can remember 3,2,1.
The cake is probably as good (and certainly fresher) than those things they always stack next to the strawberries in the grocery store.
Mine lacked flavor, but I bought the cheapest plain cake mix they had. A touch of added vanilla (or here is my inner frau struggling to get out of this gay body), a package of pudding mix in whatever flavor pleases you might do the trick.
Verdict: as easy as advertised, and better than you think its going to be. I won't repeat anytime soon.
I wonder where you guys work? I work in an office that's mostly women, and none of that is going on?
I guess the lower echelon gays are emoting here?
I'm not a lower echelon gay and I don't participate in this crap but it really is close to the average women at work. I see it all day. Instead of working from home they're homing from work.
The endless showers, plant care, cube decorating, birthday parties, secret Santas, emotional breakdowns in the break room, off the rack fashion shows, constant up dates on kids and husband, cutesy emails, Facebook dramas, sick kids got to leave early dilemma,and the list just goes on and on.
Of course you can't say anything or you'll end up in HR that is staffed with other sympathetic cube fraus.
"I'm afraid to ask what a "Better-Than-Chocolate-Sex" cake is."
"Of course you can't say anything or you'll end up in HR that is staffed with other sympathetic cube fraus."
Not in my office. I say comeback lines all the time and they consider it snappy banter from the token gay guy.
"What do you mean you're leaving early cuz your kid is sick? Can't your husband do that"
"Having Arby's again? That's the third time this week"
"Boy, those Red Velvet cupcakes in the breakroom went fast"
Pineapple Bread Pudding.
Am I the only one who can't stand all of these potlucks that the cubefraus try to get everyone to partake in? Every damn week I get an email talking about an upcoming potluck.
Also at least once a week, I get an email from cubefraus who try to organize a takeout lunch to be delivered to the office, where they then have lunch in the conference room and discuss bullshit like their husbands, kids, and what happend on various reality shows the night before.
Sick of this shit
R39 -- that's the reason the boys wanted to keep the girls out of their treehouse.
I refuse to do it, my supervisors are cool with it. I don't make a big fuss over it; I simply choose not to participate.
R39, if you're male, you can just say "no thanks" & be thought of as the crusty but lovable office curmudgeon.
I'm female & it was virtually impossible for me to avoid it all. Eventually, I grew to love cooking (I've always loved eating) & then it was fun to participate in potlucks. But all the family drama shit left me cold -- only the fact that I'm childless & couldn't really be expected to fully understand saved me from full immersion.
[quote]Instead of working from home they're homing from work.
R35 is absolutely right that this perfectly describes many working women (not all, thank goodness).
[quote]R39, if you're male, you can just say "no thanks" & be thought of as the crusty but lovable office curmudgeon.
Trust me, "no thanks" is EXACTLY what I say!
Fraus should be more like straight guys and talk about sports and pussy at work.
As I posted above, in my mostly female office, none of that is happening. We were too busy bringing in about $20 million.
Jump. Frau, Jump: A Choreopoem
[quote]We were too busy bringing in about $20 million.
We're too busy murdering children by using the word frau.
[quote]Also at least once a week, I get an email from cubefraus who try to organize a takeout lunch to be delivered to the office
One of my fraus has been running a scam for several weeks now. She collects for pizza and goes and picks it up. She walks in with a ton of cheap pizza, and there's always about half of it left over.
Not only do the leftovers go home to feed the kiddies, my research has revealed that she's doing it on buy one get one free day, so she's either pocketing cash, or leaving whole pizzas in her car to take home. My investigation continues to discover the answer.
I tried to make the 3 2 1 cake tonight and 2 supermarkets in Forest Hills had no angel food cake mix. Jeez!
Is there some sort of Passover significance to angel food cake that there would be a run on it in The Hills?
If I posted a thread called "Faggots and the Latest Office Fashion" would someone get offended? Would someone find "faggot" as ugly--and the post as obnoxious--as "Fraus?"
The same people who get hysterical about gay bullying are no different than the people they criticize. Such assholes.
We have a cook-off every year. It's fun. This year it was cheesecake. I came in 2nd place.
You are on way to being banned, r50. Be careful.
Whatever makes me feel bad is a bad thing.
Girls, gooey butter cake in the break room!!! Yummm!
Who is bullying R50? Calling some women fraus is not like calling them cunts. I'm a women and use the word frau quite regularly and, yes, have worked with these types of women who stampede into the kitchen when donuts are dropped off. They usually drink diet cokes all day long too which I find puzzling.
What for, R52? R50's comment is just a reminder that you shouldn't do unto others what others do unto you. Don't whine about the word 'faggot' being used while obviously enjoying a thread like so many countless others posted on this site solely with the purpose to hate women. Are you really that stupid and think that you're allowed to complain about words you feel marginalized and demeaned by when, at the same time, you don't have any problems discriminating against another group?
[quote]I'm a women and use the word frau quite regularly
Because you're a self-loathing idiot. Those women like to eat, talk about food and in your case *gasp* like drinking diet coke. So what? What's it to you and why do you need to use that word? Doesn't simply calling them women suffice?
[quote]Is there some sort of Passover significance to angel food cake that there would be a run on it in The Hills?
I live in Fundieland, and I just noticed stacks of it in the bakery section at the grocery store.
"Frau" describes a set of behaviors and attitudes. It is not an ethicity, religion, nationality, etc. Making fun of what fraus say and do is no more offensive than making fun of yuppies and hipsters, two other groups who deserve mockery.
Pull the board out of your ass.
R56 is walking in soft focus?
R56 maybe you shouldn't be on DL? Perhaps ivillage is more to your liking. Frau is a harmless word. It means woman or mrs. in German. Lots of female DL'ers use the term too. Piss off.
R50 must be a real BLAST at parties.
The anti-frau troll in this thread must be the same delusional FRAU who keeps clutching her pearls and smelling salts over Tiger Woods' cheating on the other thread.
These events go so much better now that Ginny is gone. Forgive me for saying so, but that big fat woman ate half the potluck before anyone else ever got into the room.
I work with women, but apparently not in a filed that attracts "frauen." Why don't you tell us what kind of jobs you do... jobs that make you work in such close proximity with these types of women?
Cubefrauen can be found in offices across the states in practically every industry usually doing secretarial type work.
If you're still here and still confused, the reason one of the mixes has to be Angel Food Cake is because that mix contains powdered egg whites. All the other kinds of cakes mixes do not contain powdered eggs. Eggs are what binds the cake together and helps it to rise.
Ugh, R68, you're hopeless. You need to take a sarcasm detector course.
R7 here, R68. What R69 said.....
There is no board to pull out of, R58, but you clearly seem to lack brain matter to actually grasp how discrimination works. On this site, the word frau is never used in connection to men. It is only used to describe behavioral patterns or mindsets which the gay men on this site find annoying or feel provoked by out of sheer boredom, stupidity, hatred, feelings of insecurity/oppression and thus declare said behavioral patterns/mindsets as typical for certain women because they're the only other marginalized group they dare to mock and discriminate against since they don't have to expect any repercussions as they would if they would talk like that about POC.
Again, the word frau (as the word 'fish') are never used to refer to men or to describe a certain behavior in people of color, a certain religion or sexual orientation.
The words hipster or yuppies, however, can be used to describe all kinds of people; no matter what sex, age, sexual orientation, skin color or religious belief. That's why those word aren't discriminatory because they don't marginalize only a certain group of human beings.
Ach, wirklich, R60? Frau ist ein deutsches Wort? Mensch, danke, dass du mir das sagst. Darauf wäre ich nie gekommen, du dummes kleines Arschloch! Wer bist du eigentlich, dass du denkst du könntest mir sagen, dass ich von dieser Seite zu verschwinden habe, du kleiner Prolet? Wie ich dem anderen Trottel R58 schon versucht habe zu erklären, ist das Wort Frau, wie es auf dieser Seite genutzt wird, in keinster Weise harmlos, aber redet euch nur weiter ein, dass ihr euch nicht genauso asozial und unmenschlich benehmt, wie die Leute, die euch diskriminieren. Das wird eure Situation bestimmt verbessern. Besonders, wenn ihr durch eure eigene Dummheit genau die Menschen verletzt und gegen euch aufhetzt, die ansonsten für euch und eure Belange gekämpft hätten. Echt clever, ihr Idioten!
So...we have a "don't say 'frau', it wounds!" cunt here, now?
STFU, you stupid cunt. If you find "frau" offensive, then A) you must be one, and B) you have zero fucking sense of humour. So why are you even here?
Don't eat the jello salad. That's all I'm going to say. Just. Don't.
I LOVE feeding frauen threads.
R18, you did GREAT until you threw in the "conform" line.
Since tomorrow is the day after Easter, all the fraus will leave the office during lunchtime to hit the stores to buy up as much discounted Easter candy and then come back afterwards talking about what great deals they got. They will then shove it all in their desk drawers so they'll have something to chomp on during throughout the day.
Why would frau be used in connection to men at all? A frau is a woman.
I just HAVE to tell you all. Little Madasyn bit the ears off her chocolate bunny and held it up and said "Bunny can't hear. Bunny like g'ammy!"
Isn't that just precious???
[quote]Oh, really, [R60]? Woman is a German word? Humans, thank that you say to me. Whereupon I would have never come, you stupid small asshole! Who are you actually that you think you could to me say that I have to disappear from this side to, you small Prolet? As I already tried to explain the other nincompoop [R58], am the word woman, like it on this side am used, in keinster way harmlessly, but continue to talk you only that it away in an inhuman way you not exactly the same asozial and take, as the people, which discriminate against you. That your situation to certainly improve. Particularly, if you injure and against you instigate humans, who would have fought otherwise for you and your interests by your own stupidity exactly. Genuinly more smart, their idiot!
Geez, R72 you sound unhinged and, frankly, like a loon.
Why yes, R39, you are the only one who can't stand these office potlucks.
Just curious - are straight men ever mocked here? Because I've never seen it.
Yes, R82, straight men are mocked. Beer bellies, football, etc.
R80, you cannot honestly tell me that you thought copying my comment in Google translator would give you the exact translation with the exact German syntax and all. Du Dorftrottel!
Oh, please! Get over yourself, R73. The "My mommy didn't love me 'cause I'm a fag and that's why I hate all women" shtick is getting old.
No, they're not mocked, R82, because even the vilest pieces of scum are deemed fuckable by some of the crowd here. Just look up threads about Rick Santorum and Kirk Cameron.
And even if they would mock straight men; they are the ones in power, so does the moon care when the dogs bark at it?
I'm another one who aways says no thanks, and I'm not sorry, but I will say that since my company is in jeopardy of closing and leaving us all unemployed, several of the women have left already, and it's a little sad to see the remaining pot-luck queens dragging their asses around like sad-sacks, since there aren't enough of them left to make their events happen.
I don't long for the days when they were organizing some horrible Mexican-themed meal and trying to get me to attend, but at least they weren't always acting like someone died, as they do now.
Wow. This had the makings of such a good thread, and then the black clouds descended....
Yeah, I really don't think this thread originated as misogynistic (though those types of threads definitely, sadly do exist). It did, however, have a lot of potential to rib a little bit of fun at the harmlessly amusing cubefraus who take up half of the office spaces in America. Too bad.
r82, I've only ever seen lusting after the straight men and the male equivalents of fraus. Never once seen any criticism of "fat herrs."
If DL were more equal opportunity and less disproportionate in its mocking/criticism, I doubt anyone would have a big problem with the "frau" threads.
R49, 2 relatives told me about this on Sunday. I think it's one of those things where everyone sends it to everyone on their email list and it goes viral
The cunts here who pretend they cannot discern the difference between "frau" and "faggot" need to be locked up somewhere nice and padded. They're just lunatics who think they think - the types who got bad educations and have to pitch their tales of superior victimhood on behalf of imaginary targets of gay criminality when the only problem is they they're too immersed in their own bullshit to fathom what is really occurring around them.
Fuck them and their phony morality.
May they eat the shit the frauen collectlively crap out after their Mexican Fiesta Farewell Potluck for Stefanie's last day, since she's moving to North Platte because her husband got a job driving a Pepsi truck there.
Oh, and with any luck the ladies will have been cycling together and dribbled some gash goo into that crap for the phony moralists at R56/R71/R72/R84/R85 and R50 to devour.
An appropriate quote from one of Dr. Amy Bishop's novels:
Easter in Boston, dated 2004, follows Beth, a gun-running Harvard researcher who’s testing an anticancer drug that has an unfortunate side effect: It makes mother rats eat their own young. Of all Bishop’s protagonists, Beth is the most fully drawn. Depressed about her life and career, she uses sarcasm to cope, tapping a vein of black humor, as in this exchange about an upcoming potluck hosted by the head of her lab:
Beth’s colleague: “I think I am bringing dumplings tomorrow to Dick’s … What are you bringing?”
Beth: “A gun… Death and destruction. Hell on earth. Horror.”
Could someone start a thread on the newest activity that has the copier class fraus all abuzz? GROUPON!
I was just offered a job where in the interview, the 3 frau interviewers brought up how one of the great things about their department is all of the potlucks they have *roll eyes*.
Should I decline the job offer? It pays shit, I would have a long commute, and apparently it's frau city. The only good thing would be learning a new skill.
The young women I work with are all about staying thin. The latest trend got started at lunch one day when one said in French (to be discreet?), « Pour garder sa ligne, Sonya ne mange que de la bite pour le petit dejeuner. »
(By breakfasting on cock alone, Sonya is able to maintain her trim figure.)
This new "liquid protein diet" has the added benefit of discouraging infidelity, as the guys leave for work satisfied.
Now their boyfriends and husbands no doubt wonder how they got so lucky, getting sucked off every morning.
If you don't have any other job prospects, take it. Learn the new skill and move on as soon as possible.
Oh, and brush up on your bundt cakes.
Let's take a bit of a reality check here!
It's not just the gays who can't stand and mock these cube frau types.
The straight males and the non-cube frau straight females in the office also mock their ridiculous behaviour. The cube frau types are a real pain in the ass, generally non-productive and can be a huge problem in a workplace. Often they end up in HR regarding petty problems, imagined slights and other horribly banal issues.
In this case I do work in HR and so am regularly involved in the trouble they cause and their Managers often come to us to deliver performance management plans.