I'm gay, I live in New York City and I hate Broadway
I've never seen Brokeback Mountain (because I'm a puss about not wanting to cry over it).
I despise "GLEE", absolutely loath it. Meryl Streep makes me sick to my stomach and I think she's possibly the most fake celebrity on the planet, even more so than Tom (Tammy) Cruise.
I have three Lady GaGa songs on my iPhone but I find her tiresome, fake and overall stupid. I don't donate to HRC and avoid drag queens at all costs. There's nothing trendy or 'cool' about me and if I could wear flannel shirts and a pair of Nikes to the office every day, I would. I don't go to the gym on a daily basis, sometimes not even on a weekly basis. I've never watched Logo, not once and I've never been to the NY Pride Parade (I always seem to be out of town for work or some such bullshit, but I don't miss it.)
Believe it or not, I'm a happy, charming guy, but I seem to dislike so much that's generally loved or liked in the gay community.
Am I clueless, out of touch or just somewhat independent?
..and I don't regret any of it.
Damn are you my clone OP O.o?
You're a man after my own heart, OP. I'm in NYC too. We should meet for a drink.
[bold]Bad homosexual! Bad, bad![/bold]
I'd disagree with you on Streep. However, as long as you don't refer to yourself as (God help us) "straight acting & appearing", please feel free to live your life as you see fit.
You may be happy, but you are not charming... perhaps because you are a bit clueless. Few gay men (at least any that I know), fit the stereotype to a T that you seem to be so earnest in pointing out that you are not. And you never knew or don't know that it seems.
Are you one of those "straight acting gays" and proud of it, because you then do not appear gay?
P.S. Lots of straigt men like Meryl Steep. Would not call her a gay icon at all.
Brag, brag, brag.
You sound like a jackass.
lol R3! Yeah there are way too many of those around. Remind me how straight you looked while you were sucking my dick?
You are a self loather who would probably be happier in one of those flyover places.
Have you ever seen Valley of the Dolls?
Broadway is for tourists.
All About Eve?
I have to say I don't connect with a lot of those other things that OP talked about. I live in LA and I've been to some HR and Trevor events and they seem to be attended my snooty so called 'gay-listers' who are only into themselves -- and the hot latin boytoys they hvae at their sides.
You sound a little defensive, OP.
Are you fat?
Where in Staten Island do you live?
OP Omaha awaits.
Are you a corporate lawyer?
I think I love you OP
What do you do when you have to cross town?
What about soaps, OP? Do the names Gabrielle Medina or Viki Sleestack do anything for you?
I find OP's attitude somewhat similar to my own AND YET...I am chronically single and do wonder if my negativity is what is messing me up.
There are all kinds of gay people in this world. All I care about when it comes to a gay person is whether or not they are openly gay. That's all that matters to me. Everything else is "meh".
Well it sounds like OP has a disdain for things associated with those things, and since he associates those things with gay men - his 'target market' - then perhaps that is why he is not attracting those people.
It's great to be happy with what you are and what you have, but a little grating to seem so well pleased with what you are not.
Our tastes and experiences don't seem different except maybe in small degree -- though I'm less dramatic about it (I dislike Meryl Streep but find it easy to escape long exposure to her, let alone suffer physical distress.) And I don't give a damn about how I stack up on a gay (or straight) yardstick of stereotypes, nor define myself by what I'm not or don't like or which starlet turns my stomach.
OP turn in your gay card immediately!
Good for you OP. Have a happy life. Glad I don't know you, I have no room for anyone that doesn't get joy from the same things I do. Republicans need not apply too.
OP, I don't care for clothes shopping myself: but you don't see me making a big deal about it.
Get a blog.
OP, I find you neither happy nor charming.
OP, your Manhunt description must be a list of things you hate.
What am I saying, you probably don't now what Manhunt is.
Op, you do realize that most same-sex oriented people do not identify with the gay community or its stereotypes? In fact, by some measures, most same-sex oriented people don't even identify as gay. You're not so special in this respect.
now >> know
r29, with the defective "k" key
I'm hating Broadway at the moment. I saw two of Broadway's most celebrated productions, Other Desert Cities and The Book of Mormon, over the weekend and both are atrocious.
OP, what do you like and do for fun?
OP doesn't sound very special in any respect, R30.
R16, thank you for the Gabrielle Medina shout-out. Her name always makes me smile.
OP, anyone who describes themselves as charming is anything but.
OP is basically on the downlow/closeted and like sports and athletes. Does not like feminine guys and frowns on anything outwardly gay.
[quote]if I could wear flannel shirts and a pair of Nikes to the office every day, I would.
You're probably annoying and fem but great taste in plays. I hate musicals too.
R38, if you're so happy with yourself, why are you bothering us about it? Are you smug, an asshole, or just cluelessly jerky? That's what the thread actually is about. (And the things you associate with "being gay" are so limited that you indicate a large part of the answer in your post. Meaning "all of the above."
OP, you're like those people who, when asked if they watch a particular TV show, stares into the middle distance and intones "I don't watch television." Tiresome.
I don't identify as gay either. In fact, I have no interest in any of those "gay" things OP listed, although I did see Brokeback in the theater and cried my balls off. I don't think I'll ever get over Heath Ledger's death. Most people assume I'm straight.
OP, delete the 3 Lady Gaga songs from your iThing.
Everything in moderation, that's what I tell myself.
It's very exhausting not to fit the gay stereotypes, and it can make you feel and or act defensive.
You're gay and you want to be around gay people, but most of them are into lots of things that OP listed, so you avoid those people and find yourself unable to find a date or even someone gay to go to a movie with.
But if you hang out with straight people, you get labeled the token gay, and they -- even those who think they're totally cool -- tend to make a lot of gay jokes, and you can only be a good sport about it for so long until resentment starts to build.
So you end up with gay friends who aren't as interesting as you'd like your friends to be and straight friends who you'd like to tell to fuck off.
And if you'd like to find a bf or go out with real partner material, good luck with that, because you pretty much are reduced to online dating, where everyone lies and it's never about dating, anyway, even when they say they're not looking for just a hook-up.
And if you talk about it -- here on DL or among any of your gay semi-friends -- you're called self-loathing, pretentious, Miss Thing, defensive, and that you think you're straight acting.
OP, you're the same OP who flew into a rage a few weeks ago about Kristen Chenoweth, aren't you?
R43- stop with the categorizing and labeling and all will be well. I have found that if I do the things I am interested in, all falls into place- I know plenty of gay men who like to play tennis and ski and go out to dinner, go to the movies, and hang out and talk politics and laugh. You sound like you are looking to be different- if so, wonder why?
Meeting and making friends with gay people, with any people is about enjoying other people. It ain't hard.
R43, you're overstating the case on both ends, or have unbelievably (like, I don't believe you) bad luck with the people you meet. Don't be such a pill.
MARY! Turn in your card. Immediatement!
You're buying into the stereotypes about gay people to an appalling extent. If you were straight and made these assumptions about gay people, everyone would recognize you as a homophobe. What makes you think it's different when a gay person does it?
I'm gay in Peoria and can fart the theme to 'Family Guy'. That's just the kind of gay I happen to be, take it or leave it.
R11 "In" Staten Island? Maybe he lives in the giant trash volcano, ON S.I.
r11 = the reason why people like the OP find it necessary to make these lists of cliches to which they don't conform.
Historically, effeminate men had a harder time hiding in a closet, so early on, they had to get pride and come out. Because non-effeminate men (which you term straight acting but is not a direct overlap) could hide in the closet, they did. This was how the stereotype developed and why everybody assumed all gay people were the same.
But we're not all the same, and if your perception of the gays in your community do fit that description, get out of town and meet some others.
Try gay backpacking groups, gay jogging groups, or something that is not traditionally part of that stereotype and you will find other gays like yourself.
And always live and let live.
Does R44 have some bizarre obsession with Kristen Chenoweth or what?
I've seen the same person posting the exact same thing in a number of threads, accusing the OP of previous flaming Kriten Chenoweth. Whoever pissed the rabid Chenoweth fangurl off apparently pissed off the wrong psycho because R44 is attempting to stalk them all over the site.
Jesus R44, take a pill or something.
OP, I live in New York City there are tons of gay men here who don't fit the profile you are talking about, a fact which you should clearly be aware of, so why the fuck are you asking the question?
BTW I say this as someone who loves theater, hates Glee, admires Meryl Streep, likes Lady Gaga, donates to HRC, isn't into drag, wears jeans to work whenever I don't have to wear a suit, often with a flannel shirt, has been to the pride parade twice in my 30 years in NY, and never watches logo.
You live in NYC and can't find gay people that are (not) into the same things as you? You are doing a very bad job of looking.
Do you have any interest in going to Fire Island or attending the Black Party?
Broadway is overrated.
OP, you should see Brokeback Mountain, it is a fine film, whatever one's orientation may be.
You're quite the ray of sunshine, aren't you, OP?
You go girl!
I usually hate gay men like OP who wear their complete lack of style like it was a badge of honor. So you don't own a mirror or enjoy theatre: congratulations!
Why not give money to HRC? Don't have to be gay to do that.
[quote]I seem to dislike so much that's generally loved or liked in the gay community.
You seem to dislike many things that other gays dislike, OP. We're not a bunch of sheep. OTOH, you seem to dislike some things that straight people like. Do you think that puts you toward the straight category.
It's difficult to figure if you're a total bore or an attention whore.
You should hook up with Phi Phi O'Hara, OP. You two are made for each other!
I'm a very casual dresser and I dislike Lady Gaga (and most dance music), but it would never occur to me to start a thread about it, or act like it gives me cred with straight guys or some shit.
The attitude/lifestyle that communicates "I'm into dudes but I'm not like THOSE fags!" is usually reserved for baby gays. I'm assuming that the OP is in his early 20s at most. With maturity, we all get more comfortable with who we are in the world and the values we place on theater, flannel, Meryl, etc. all fall into place.
OP trolls Craigslist for bi/married guys whilst describing herself as str8-acting.
no femmes, fats...
[quote] Glad I don't know you, I have no room for anyone that doesn't get joy from the same things I do.
Mean girl on the land!
Most bisexual and gay men don't even identify as gay, much less identify with gay stereotypes and the gay community. It's common to eschew the gay community and its culture.
WM is on and you know he will ban this thread Editor where are you!!!!
R53 = OP.
Yes, OP, you are the first and only gay man to think outside of the box and have the courage to like what you like and not worry about stereotypes. The first one ever!!! We are so proud of you, all we gay lemmings.
I am a same-sex oriented dude, not gay.
Oh, posh, r75. Potayto/potahto.
You're like the PC police, who take offense at a term only after it's been appropriated by haters. Except that you take offense after it's appropriated by a community.
You're still a fag, no matter what you wanna call it. If you're a woman, you lap clit, if you're a man you suck dick, like the rest of us.
r74 has it. So many people like to imagine that they're the first "non-gay" gay in the world.
This whole "I'm gay, but I don't like stereotypically 'gay' things. Look at me!" is actually its own gay stereotype imho.
OP sounds a seriously cool guy to me!
OP, goodness sakes, what a feisty and original contrarian you are. Thank god you exist. I just want to applaud you. Clap clap clap!
Notice how OP hasn't responded to anything.
A lot of same-sex oriented dudes don't live Broadway. It's just that there is a very stereotypical minority that try to project their narrow atypical interests as indicative of all bisexual and gay men. Most gay and bisexual men are very mainstream, although not very visible in the media.
OP, I condole you.
Sums up the angst of the outlier gay guy who is simply bored to tears with the conventional anchors of gay social scenes in large cities. Its hard to deny that gay gathering events all have elements that require him to endure the boring (to him) stuff.
It may be the truth that there really is only a very small pool of mates available to him. I think that is what he is ultimately trying to get his head around. Poor guy, he thought he came to a safe place to ask that question.
Is there a mirror available to anyone who scolded him for his non-conformity? To damn him for being a bore damns his accusers of the same thing.
I'm a man and I love men. I understand that that limits my opportunities for love. But I'm also a proudly nerdy guy, so I'd already realized that nerdy guys, no matter how sexy (and I am (not my opinion,just something lots of people have insisted is true)),or how straight are always outcasts in any society.
So listen to his lament, and offer him some constructive advice. Bitch slapping him is a shame on you and no help to him.
It's appalling to me that marginalized people do the same to their own.
I got here because I'm profoundly lonely(and I have a lot of friends) and I was hoping someone could help me answer this brave guy's question.
I think it's great you don't just follow trends. Everyone should be his/her own person.
Lived in NYC for a few years and came out there. Hate musicals and Broadway. Just never my thing. Not really a gay bar person. For me so far, the gay bars I've been to are not places I enjoyed. Weird themes and weirder patrons that fit a lot of stereotypes when spouting of how 'straight acting' they are. Having guys hit on ya but spend their time telling ya how they slept with this person and that person and how the last guy that came up to you is an ex they still live with because rent's too high to find a place of their own. Tired of hearing about Fire Island. Heard it has some neat architecture and houses. For me the only interest.
Brokeback Mountain was not a good movie. Get tired of hearing about the tent scene. No one talks about men hiding behind marriages to hide they are gay and the women and children that are hurt by the inadequacy to deal with their life. To me, thing can't stand the most. I don't wear me being gay for the world to see but I ain't afraid to tell people if they ask. Me being gay is a small part of who I am. Man up or shut up.
Met a range of guys and some were really cool, many though were not. Was told by some I was fat, others I was too skinny or had too many muscles. I'm 5'10" and sit at 225 with a solid build. Been told I was too hairy and others not hairy enough. I don't think I'm hairy but I'm not gonna shave when it's not who I am. Even told I wore the wrong type of underwear and my clothes weren't good enough. I make the effort to always be clean and put together for what I'm doing or where I'm going. Nice clothes are nice to have but sometimes you have to be practical. I don't buy clothes to 'look' a certain way.
Been out with groups of guys trying to develop friendships only to be embarrassed by tacky gay behavior (do you really need to make passes at our waiter when he's just doing his job? and worse not tip him when not getting his phone number or attention when he was a great server). Worked in an industry where we had a lot of gay clients. Why do I have to put up with gropes or gross comments to find out if I'm gay. If you want to know, invite me out for a cup of coffee or a game and more than happy to talk to ya. Telling me ya wanna suck my cock or bend you/me over, bud it just makes you look like an ass. I don't waste my time on assholes.
Been on dates with guys that spent the evening checking their cellphones constantly, checking out other guys, go on and on about and ex, etc. Even had one show me naked pictures some guy texted him on our first date. I was put off. I was raised you showed respect to the person you were with. I treated the women I dated before I came out with respect because my Dad would have given me the whatfor if I hadn't. I treat the men I date with the same respect. Many have not shown it back. Worst for me on a date is when I guy let it spill that he was partnered. Paid for dinner and left. I don't cheat or help others to treat someone else badly. Don't give me excuses for your bad choices either.
I don't enjoy gay life but I have met others like myself and even dating one now. Good men, real men are still out there. You just need to know who you are, what your standards are and be willing not to change yourself to fit into a group that is not you. As for the stereotypes, always going to exist. You can choose not to live by them.
Even with all said, I do my best to try and be respectful even when those in gay life are not always respectful to others.
And you bumped this because....?
And yet OP -- for all his pride in hating things some other gay men like -- is a paying DL member.
I agree with you about Lady Gaga, OP. Her music is tiresome. I'm not a Madonna groupie, but Madge's music is Mozart next to Lady Gaga's.
[quote]Was told by some I was fat, others I was too skinny..... I'm 5'10" and sit at 225.
Hmmmmm. Too skinny? Really?
get a blog
OP, welcome to the world of most gay Americans. Believe it or not, there are more like you than like those loud, campy, sissies who walk in the white hot spotlight 24/7.
No one cares about Broadway Shows outside of NYC.
OP, believe it or not, what you expressed is not all that uncommon. My friends and I could have written a lot of what you put out there. If every gay man was into the gay scene, gay bars would be as big as international airports.
Wow, people who don't like Broadway are messed UP. Joyless contrarians. Glad I don't know you.
OP, I'm gay, I live on Broadway, and I hate New York City. Marry me.
I live in New York City, love Broadway, and hate gays.
I'm not gay, don't live in New York City, love Broadway, and hate the OP.
OP and 85, ignore the desperately unhappy cunts here. Just do whatever you want.
I'm gay, live in Philly and hate myself!
I live for B*r*o*a*d*w*a*y !!!!!!!!!
kcguy, Look where I live and you'll get it ;)
No one said you had to like those things, OP but you sound like a pompous, arrogant asshole. There are many gay men just like you. There is room for all of us but your ego...no room for that.
By the way, Brokeback Mountain was a beautiful film. If you can't recognize that, you probably have a pea sized brain.
Avoiding drag queens at ALL COSTS sounds a bit dramatic. There aren't that many of them, really. OP sounds like a flouncing, over dramatic douche bag. In flannel.
Also, try describing yourself in the positive. All you do is state a bunch of negatives as if that makes you great. Sounds like you're living your life in response to a stereotype that doesn't really exist but that you use to define yourself.