Pitch your show idea here for the new LTN. Only requirement, it must appeal to the lesbians.
The Second Date
Sponsored by U-Haul
gay male porn
"Lesbian Pals For Straight Gals". A group of five lesbians give straight girls a Sapphic makeover. The lezzies teach the het "womyn" how to operate a forklift, play softball and drive motorcycles. Proper cane etiquette is also taught, as well as folk singing and cat appreciation.
Femme for femme dating game
"This Old House" 24/7
"This Is Not Funny." Hijinks ensue when a group of highly strung, overly intellectual lesbians attemot to navigate their way on the streets of Manhattan!
An Original LTN Sitcom!!!
straight acting and looking gay women who LOATHE bulldykes
Cagney and Lacey marathons.
Non-stop Indigo Girl videos
Live coverage of "Gaiafest"
"The History Of Flannel" documentary
Re-runs of "LA Choppers"
Pro bowling, roller derby softball.
Semi-Vegan with Sandra Lee
ooooooo something new on DL - women hating gay men. wow
Make your own Dreamcathchers.
[quote]"This Is Not Funny." Hijinks ensue when a group of highly strung, overly intellectual lesbians attemot to navigate their way on the streets of Manhattan![/quote]
R11, you need a hyphen for that sentence to make sense. And it's "woman-hating" (single.)
"Tales from the Off-ramp" Large Marge (Dot Jones) brings you eerie tales from the highway.
How to Baste a Turkey
Reruns of The Big Valley.
Queer as Folk: The Reunion
The Stating Game
Each week three lovelorn lesbians compete to win a dream date with a mystery gal who has to guess their boundaries through clever questioning!
I think you're onto something there, r3, but the concept needs to be expanded.
"A group of five lesbians give straight girls a Sapphic makeover." That's week two.
Week one, five girly giggly sorority sisters school the lesbians in the fine art of being a girl. Lessons include: hair, make-up, clothes, heels, perfume, boys, pouting, handbags,flirting and much more.
The real hilarity begins when the tables are turned, and the lesbians take over the class!
"No, I am the man of the house"
A group of 14 lesbians, all of whom have dated each other at some point in their lives, move into a house together. The Big Sis cameras capture all the hilarity, tears and DRAMA! Boundaries will be broken!
"Kate Explains it All"
A show where hijinks with the former L Word cast ensue and Kate Moenning is forced to break the fourth wall to explain it all to viewers.
"Amber Heard Walking Around"
Self-explanatory, as all lesbians want to see is Amber Heard. She doesn't need to talk.
Reruns of Cagney & Lacey
The Big Sis is a great idea actually.
GIMME SUGAR: MIAMI
Fat, gross Asian bulldyke moves to Miami for work and bores everyone the fuck to death with created drama...
Oh wait a minute...
Facts of Life reruns......to promote the premiere of current-day remake.
young femmne lesbians REFUSE to be part of the dyke stereotype so they identity as bi. They are femme, nice and act and dress like straight girls! Now that is girl power!
I would like to see one of those reality dating shows (like The Bachelor etc)where a bunch of catty, vacuous women vie for attention of a celesbian like Martina or kd lang.
"The Lesbian Apprentice"
Hosted by Rosie O'Donnell, a group of lesbians put their sapphic business acumen to the test as they compete for a high-powered position at R Family Vacations.
FARTS 'R FUNNY
Hilarious new hidden-camera reality series featuring riotous bulldaggers passing gas in the most unexpected places. Watch as cameras catch the wackiest expressions of those exposed to the pungent smells!
The prime-time soap about a collective of women-identified-women who live in an old rambling farmhouse and all the intrigue within. Who ate SaraBeth's tofu? Who bought that Bruno Mars CD?
Every year, the fireworks really take off in August when the characters go to MichFest (or because of trademark issues, it's called Festigan.)
"The Prime of Miss Jane Hathaway."
A dramatic film from the point-of-view of Mr. Drysdale's long-suffering gal Friday.
Women's tennis (sponsored by the Judy Nelson Clam House)
Cooking for Cats with Cat Cora
How to shave your face
These are hysterical!
W&W for r10.
My favorite is R1
I love [italic]Gynasty.[/italic]
I think the "That's Not Funny" sitcom should have, instead of laugh tracks, pre-recorded groans and "what the fuck"s, and occasionally silence, when someone cracks a joke.
The Newlywed Nutloaf Game
Six lesbian couples compete in a game show to win a free trip to MichFest, by trying to guess their partners' nutloaf recipes in a blindfold bake off!
Oh the nutty drama!
Share Your Feelings
A nightly five hour rap session featuring four lesbians from different walks of life, where they share their thoughts and feelings about current events.
no smarmy Rachel Maddow clones
no Chris Hayes clones
Kate Clinton's Unfunny Comedy Hour
"AlternaView" - a morning talk and variety show hosted by Rachel Maddow, Wanda Sykes, Melissa Etheridge, Sharon Gless, and Lucy Lawless, with guest financial advisor Suze Orman.
"America's Next Top Drywall Specialist"
R3 left out dog training.
How to Dress Like a Man hosted by Sam Ronson
Kate and Allie marathons
great way to start the day! Thanks OP
The Biggest Lesbian with Jillian Michaels
Lesbians compete in sports, healthy cooking competitions and other challenges to win prizes such as Vera Wang wedding gowns and power tools.
"Man On The Land" - a 'Survivor' knockoff that strands a group of women on an island. The twist is that one of the women secretly used to be a man. Through a series of challenges and rewards (e.g., 'Breastcasting With Indigenous Materials', commercially-produced tampons), the women vote each other off one by one. If the MTF makes it to the end, (s)he gets an additional $100K. Hosted by Queen Latifah, sponsored by American Spirit cigarettes.
The Tool Shack of Love : A romcom series of starcossed lovers meeting in a tool store. Each episode of the first season is themed around an aisle of the tool store.
That's So Not Funny: A roundtable of outspoken lesbians taking offense at current interviews and clips covering lesbian issues in an unfavorable light or mocking them. Two hours. Each day. Except on Sundays when it's four hours long and features a one hour best of from the week.
No 'Mo Muff Lesbow. A Reality TV series about lesbians trying to conquer their rampant lesbianism by learning how to use crossbows in their daily life.
Showing only the lesbian themed episode of Lost Girl (of which there are plenty).
On Holidays it's mandetory to air the Golden Girls episode where Dorothy's friend is having a crush on Rose.
Gay men really hate women.
And they wonder why I hate men...??
It's not hate, it's more like brotherly or sisterly teasing. When push comes to shove gays and lesbians have always each others' backs.
Some of these are funny! I've seen all these and more. We have to laugh at ourselves! Seriously, we are deeply amusing people, the boys and the girls.
I love all of you!
None of the comedies will have laugh tracks. Actually there will be no comedies. And U-Haul will be the only sponsor.
Tampax and Always were interested in sponsorship, but when speaking to the VP in charge of advertising, she sternly informed them that "we roll our own around here!"
The Real Nan MichiganWomyn -- ongoing reality series examining the planning and execution of the yearly Michigan Womyn's Music Festival held every August.
See the ongoing debates about stating boundaries and accommodating food sensitivities while striving to be inclusive to all womyn.
Drama erupts when a male power company employee wants to enter the sacred land to fix a downed power line.
And despite it all, the womyn arrive and have a great time.
Once it's all over, the planning begins for next year's Fest.
Holmes on Homes
Cagney & Lacey
Festivals of North America, hosted by Nan Michiganwomyn.
And new sitcoms (a la TV Land) including:
"Jo The Plumber" - Nancy McKeon in her triumphant return to TV as now-famous TV plumber Jo Polniaczek.
"A Brand New Me" - Late in life lesbian (Meredith Baxter) lives with slutty straight friend (Kim Cattrall), and the girls talk dating and oral sex. Hilarity ensues!
I'm sorry that I can't help. I'm a man who knows nothing about sports.
"Man on the Land" - one woman's journey to hell and back as she has to wait while the PortaJanes are emptied at MichFest and how she found strength from it,
Broadcast every four years from Look park in Northampton, MA, these non-competitive athletic games for womyn-born womyn only prove that everybody truly is a winner. Instead of medals, everybody gives air hugs so as not to violate any personal space.
Gafelda Fish (jewish version of the view)
Originally a XXX porn film about a young lesbian who performs the best cunnilingus ever, it has been heavily edited by academic filmmakers to show only the non-porn moments and emphasize how women react to one another non-verbally and bonds of friendship Abby finds with a lesbian hitchhiker, a lesbian bikini model, a lesbian librarian and a lesbian housewife.
Runtime (edited version): 8 minutes.
It's currently called The Golf Channel.
"Moving Dykes": Each week chronicles the premature cohabitation of two gay women, as seen from the perspective of the one moving into her new partner's living space.
Sponsored by U-Haul.
"Lesbian Bed Death Becomes Her": Lesbians recount the evolution of their relationships and the bitter recriminations directed towards their partners
Sponsored by Tempur-Pedic.
"Unleash the Yeast!": Women's health topics, with a touch of laughter and irreverence ...
Sponsored by Monistat
"House Hunters Homosexual": While this series features a segment on gay men searching for their perfect home, the gals can fast forward through the frivolous sections and watch the antics of lesbians in the hunt for the perfect nest! The Cherry Grove beach house trip is a classic!
Sponsored by Century 21
"White Paint": Lesbian home decoration show.
Sponsored by Lowe's
"Butch Cassidy": Life and love on the professional lesbian rodeo circuit
"Clit Lit": A weekly survey of the best recent lesbian fiction
[quote]Kate Clinton's Unfunny Comedy Hour
Why limit this to just Kate Clinton? Be inclusive!
I'm really beginning to think this channel should be sponsored by U-Haul.
[quote]Why limit this to just Kate Clinton? Be inclusive!
One word: U-Haul
"Suze Orman's Money Tips" - Orman shares empowering money tips with her lesbian audience.
"We all know that dykes don't tip….but did you know if you took the money you AREN'T tipping with and put it into a Roth IRA, you would have 6.5 million dollars by the time you're 60? Approved, girlfriend, approved!"
"Lesbotics" – lesbians who are handy with tools pair up with MIT engineering students and compete for a cash prize designing and building robots and high tech gadgets. Sponsored by Subaru.
"Top Stagehand" – lesbian stagehands duke it out to see who's top dog in the world of backstage production. Must be a IATSE member to compete.
Game Show: "13 Year Old Boy or Baby Dyke?"
OMG, R15, that sounds like heaven!
I was thinking the LTN could air "My Fair Ladies," a reality show that documents Sarah McLachlan and other female artists as they prepare and rehearse for a revived "Lilith Fair" concert series.
Since reality shows are all the rage, LTN will also air "Damn! I Wish I Was Your Lover," a "Rock Of Love" type of dating show where a group of lesbians and straight men attempt to win the affections of bisexual recording artist Sophie B. Hawkins.
"So You Think You Can Build A Deck"
[quote]Gay men really hate women.
[quote]And they wonder why I hate men...??
I don't hate women, and I don't know any gay men who do. It's just that certain types of lesbians, like certain types of gay men, just beg to be parodied. You sound like one of them, in fact.
LTN will also expand into the game show market with "In or Out?" hosted by Anne Heche.
"In or Out?" features three female contestants per episode, only one of whom is secretly a lesbian. A small panel of "celebrities" (think Danny Bonaduce, David Hasselhoff, Janice Dickinson, etc.) must ask the contestants questiosn and guess which of the three lovely ladies is gay. If the lesbian manages to outsmart the panel, she wins a new Toyota Tundra 4x4!
A "Sons of Anarchy" spin-off centered around the members of Dykes on Bikes!
R22. I would watch that Big Sis show. You need to pitch that to a network.
Two long-term lesbian couples with contrasting lifestyles agree to trade partners for a week. Boundaries will be tested.
Is this a real network?
[quote]Is this a real network?
r86 you should a doctor, I think you may be irony deficient.
"see" a doctor.
Instant sarcasm Karma.
From Tru Life Tales:
"I have stated my boundaries" - Two sister surveyors map out the future home of the Melissa Etheredge museum
"Michfest rides again!" - On the road to the Cuntry Store with your hostess, the tokin', smokin', and hopefully pokin', Denise Eaker Hoover
"My pussy stinks" - Feline hygene with Cheryl!
Dyke to watch out for
Five lesbians - a senior citizen, an African American, a lawyer, a guest lesbian and one total idiot young Womyn's Studies college student who's probably not really gay shooting her mouth off about political/social issues she thinks she understands.
Processing the issues, minute by minute, hour by hour, over herb tea.
You can't get enough.
R90 And to make this low-cost, all you'd need to do to produce this is tape any Smith College GOV seminar.
"Pitbulls" - Thrill to the exploits of two Butch Latina car repossesors in East L.A. and thier various savage rituals in breaking in the younger chicks
Lots of Anne Murray late night commercials.
"The Dykelorette" - 25 baby dykes compete to see who Melissa Etheridge is going to find, fuck and forget THIS year.
Will have many seasons, as Melissa gets bored easily and needs a new plaything. Since she is the Jerry Lee Lewis of lesbians, contestants can be no older than 23.
FEAR FACTOR: RAINBOW EXPRESS
A new gameshow where each week 3 young, naive lesbians board TITular bus with our host/driver, Denise. After enduring gross inuendo, uncomfortable hugs and Denise's scary pot driving, the last girl who hasn't bolted gets her choice of a grand prize!
Cash, Weed or Pussy.
The eating challenges will be especially gross.
Extreme Makeover: Menstrual Hut Edition. Sponsored by Home Depot and Subaru.
The Wombmoon Folksinging Competition. Divided into 2 segments : solo wombmoon folk singers and ensemble wombmoon folksingers. Solo artists are to be judged by use of the words "Sister" "Moon"
and "Cat", as well as their personalized, handwoven hemp guitar strap.
Ensemble groups are to be rated on their dulcimer playing skills and use of matching bandanas. Hosted by Michelle Shocked and kd lang.
Pimp My Forklift: Diesel dykes compete to see who can create the most bodacious forklift by utilizing goddess symbols, dream catchers and witty bumper stickers. Sponsored by Caterpillar and Carhartt.
The title "Hillbilly Hand Fishing" will be licensed from Animal Planet, but this time around it's a dating show for rural lesbians.
[quote]The Wombmoon Folksinging Competition. Divided into 2 segments : solo wombmoon folk singers and ensemble wombmoon folksingers. Solo artists are to be judged by use of the words "Sister" "Moon" and "Cat", as well as their personalized, handwoven hemp guitar strap. Ensemble groups are to be rated on their dulcimer playing skills and use of matching bandanas. [bold]Hosted by Cris Williamson and Toshi Reagon.[/bold]
Fixed that for you.
Michelle Shocked was bi/"fluid" at the most, and these days she's an anti-gay Christian fundie. As for k.d., I can imagine her rolling her eyes at womyn's music.
r57, NO, you hate men because you wish you were one. I bet you a Betsy Johnson dress that you are an angry butch!
"Search and Rescue"
A team of six lesbian Emergency Medical Technicians and their pilot (Patricia Cornwell) circle the Rocky Mountains in their chopper to find and save missing hikers and female abductees.
We love you too, r59! We have to laugh at ourselves,or we probably wouldn't survive.
BTW--I'm a dude and I would watch MOST of the shows for the proposed LTN. Except the folk singing ones.
"The Deadliest Snatch" A reality series following the the adventures of an all lesbian crew of crab fisherwomyn. Follow the drama aboard the fishing vessel "Isis Moon" as Captain Butchie McDyke leads her crew through the perilous waters of the Bering Sea and thank Goddess for their successful catch of Alaska King Crab.
[quote] Michelle Shocked was bi/"fluid" at the most, and these days she's an anti-gay Christian fundie.
Whaaaat? Really? That's…crazy.
There's a few that play the fluidity line…Ms. Dar Williams immediately comes to mind.
(Hint: Shortening one's name to "Dar" is usually a neon sign that you're doing the lez-lez.)
Ha ha "House Hunters Homosexual" Love that title. Thanks R70. I would love to see this show for the gay and lesbian house buyers -- maybe we wouldn't have to be subjected to all the "man cave" references made by the straight guys on the regular House Hunters then.
"Pair of Dykes Lost" - In a cross between "Survivor" and "The Amazing Race" (with a gay twist), this reality/game show features 10 pairs of lesbian couples as they are stranded on a remote tropical island. Each episode finds the couples engaging in competitions and mini-challenges that get them slowly closer to civilization. The last couple to complete the challenge in each episode get eliminated. The winning couple will receive a $20,000 Home Depot gift card, a new 2013 Dodge Ram, and a trip for two on the Rosie O'Donnell & Friends gay cruise. Hosted by Portia de Rossi.
Akin to "The View" or "The Talk, LTN's "The Gab" features five lesbians (Meredith Baxter, Chely Wright, Melissa Etheridge, Wanda Sykes, and Jane Lynch) discussing current events and hot topics from a lesbo point of view.
Newlyweds Sycamore and Toni Goode decide to leave their high-stress jobs behind (the former is a book editor, the latter a PR executive) in order to open a handmade jewelry store in Burlington, VT. Hilarity ensues as the carefree Sycamore (Eliza Dushku) and Type-A Toni (Lizzy Caplan) learn to live and love amongst their wacky neighbors.
Featuring Eddie Cibrian and Jerry O'Connell as Roger and Doug (aka "Dodger"), two obnoxio brothers who own the microbrewery next to the Goodes' shop.
Delta Burke as Beebee Rothko, the owner of a rival jewelry shop who doesn't appreciate the girls encroaching on her territory!
and Charlene Yi as Amanda, a quirky and passive-aggressive salesperson at Trinkets (the jewelry shop Sycamore and Toni own).
A turn of the century mini-series where clam juice references abound and its title is "Tipping the Velvet", which alludes again to woman-on-woman relations.
Whoops - already been done. And well, I may add. Loved it.
"Crab Walk With Me"
A weekly sci fi investigative show where we spill diet coke on the furniture of a lesbian couple and document the strange happenings afterwards
"She's the Man"
Sitcom centered around a butch-femme couple.
Loving these because there's much truth; and I'm lesbian.
rotflmao at "Hillbilly Hand Fishin"
"The Awffle House" sponsored by Pillsbury.
A lipstick lesbian couple and their diesel dyke short-order cook open a roadside breakfast and lunch only diner with rental cottages. The front desk clerk is a screaming queen and the maintenance man is a hunky straight guy.
What's so funny is that you guys already have the sponsors lined up.
[quote]Sponsored by Caterpillar and Carhartt.
Is the funniest.
The New New Adventures of Leave It to Beaver
The great thing about most of these is that (a) they sound funny and actually worth a look and (b) it wouldn't be just the lesbians watching - the bears and a lot of rural gays would love these shows too.
The title: Flo
The premise: She's a tough, back-talking waitress who takes no guff from the guys and has lots of love to give to the gals - if they could only see it.
The hook: No one knows that she suffers from the pain of fibromyalgia AND a rare perma-menstrual condition that only gives her one day off her Lady Tuffet a month. And each month she plots and finagles to spend the evening with her latest crush. Mayhem and merriment ensues as the stroke of midnight and the return of Flo's Flow approach.
The blurb: It's like a fairy tale. Without the fairies.
I FEEL VIOLATED!
Game show where young men must outlast each other in Q&A grilling sessions with a team of Lesbians...who are instructed to yell out "I FEEL VIOLATED!" whenever they deem it necessary. Last man standing is given a free trip for two on Atlantis Cruises, because it's obvious he's a gay too!
So many of these ideas are so fantastically amazing, but my favorite is still R15's. I want to see that on my TV NOW!
Something starring Laura San Giacomo as a lesbian therapist.
[quote]Make your own Dreamcathchers.
'Fertilize Our Egg'
Competition reality show where 12 guys are put through varying challenges to win a chance to donate the sperm for a lesbian couple who wants to be parents.
Sponsored by Tovolo Turkey Basters and Pampers
I'm a Gold Star Lesbian who is loving this thread.
Park Talk.... park ranger, Carol, takes us on a tour of America's national parks
Sitcom about a middle-aged lesbian comedian with Cerebral Palsy who is trying to make it amongst the middle-aged lesbian comedian circuit. The pilot introduces her new life as she moves to Minneapolis and has a hell of a time trying to find a sign language interpreter for her performances.
Lisa Whelchel will NOT be guest-starring.
"Say Yes to a Dress?!"
Each week, the show follows a couple of lesbian brides-to-be as they prepare for their upcoming nuptials with the help of a sassy gay wedding planner. Hosted by Melissa McCarthy.
"Vagina Cape Fear"
Sam Bowden (Sandra Bernhard) is a former Atlanta public defender who is now in private practice in the quiet town of New Essex, North Carolina. Max Cady (Jodie Foster)is a former client whom Bowden had defended 14 years previously in Atlanta.
Cady resurfaces in Bowden's life to settle an old score.
2 Broke Womyn
Tabitha Tongues Over...
Big Butch Theory
Xena marathons a few times a year.
"Are You Smarter Than A Women's Studies Professor From Barnard College?"
I thought "Deadliest Snatch" was going to be a new investigation discovery show.
What a great thread, I'm surprised it ended after only 131 posts. More ideas please.
Cutting Wood. A half an hour focusing on how to get the best out of your woodstove, how to cut wood, how to season it, what types of tools to use, and a hot butch showing off her biceps splitting some logs.
Car Repair with Mindy: Mindy is a hot femme who leans over the hood a lot and gives tips on how to change your own oil, for femmes who don't know how to do that.
Compost Chat: What makes a good compost? What is the ratio of green to brown that I need to compost my kitchen scraps? When is it ready to use? How do I compost in winter? These are more pressing topics will be discussed on...Compost Chat.
Off the Grid with Randy: Randy is a lady, of course. Randy explains how to get the man off your back by putting in your own photovoltaic panels, passive solar, and a host of other topics...
>>Off the Grid with Randy:
I'd watch that!
The Covert Lesbian International Terrorist Squad is an elite strike force of lesbians who have been trained in a secret facility known only as "The Land," whose primary mission is to set boundaries and disarm triggers from terrorist threats that are perpetrated by patriarchal oppressors worldwide.
"All MichFest,All the Time". A 24/7 series that is awash in the womyn who attend the Fest. How they got there; who's watching the cats; a Nutloaf-a-Day recipe contest; Find the Bastard-investigation segment, on the guards who keep a wary eye out for penised-people. Tales of Yesteryear:how much better it was back in the 90's. Exchangeable You: Swapping email addresses. Next Year in Michigan: How will Fest change? Will Cyndy( Arlette, Phoebe,Vaggav,etc.) return as she promised? Clips from old Dinah Shore programs. Sponsored by: Dog Groomers of America.