"One Weird Tip to a (Blank)" and "(Blank) hate him" ads

I hate them. It all started with those stupid "One Weird Tip to a Flat Tummy" ads. Now whenever I go on Yahoo, there are these stupid pictures of wrinkle-free middle-aged women that say "Plastic Surgeons hate her". Does anybody ever click on those ads?

• Are those the ones which also have pictures of horribly ugly people? Caveman. Women who look like meth heads?

• One assumes someone does. I do not.

• One wants to move through life with elegance and grace, blossoming infrequently but with exquisite taste and perfect timing. Like a rare bloom, a zebra orchid. One wants, but one seldom gets what one wants, does one? No, one does not. One gets FUCKED OVER.

• Ugh! I hate those ads! They're all so cheap and dumb. There are other ones that make mention of a "mom" (never a "mother") who discovered some secret to blah blah blah. Often right in my neck of the woods! Imagine that. But the "weird trick" ones always bug the shit out of me. It's gotta be "weird" or else people don't wanna hear it or believe it? The internet is stupid and getting stupider.

  Anonymous

• And they are always "...60 year old who looks 25 from (your city)...!"

• They use 'mom' because it is so much more relatable than 'mother'. They want other 'mommys' to click on the link. Yeah, I hate them, too. They started with Acaai berries or some such shit.

• I miss the internet from 15 years ago, before everything thought it was the modern gold mining and tried to develop it for money-grabbing

• R3 for w&w.

• I actually clicked one and it is so stupid

  https://www.pimsleurapproach.com/search225/learn-a-language.asp%3Fsid%3D0001img_Disp_ggl_Antq_Paul_300x250_LangSpec_Russ%26Network%3DContent%7Bifsearch200:search200%7D%26kw%3Drussian%20

  Ukiaharuku

• This is not mine but it is quite good, little poem for u all. ONE WEIRD TRICK One simple trick that you should try To raise your credit score Hit one weird trick to lose some weight Another to lose some more Click "Shocking Muscle Growth" To make you big and strong Then click the next "weird trick To move you right along One strange trick to cut car insurance Boy we're rolling now One odd trick to erase those wrinkles A housewife shows you how A peculiar tip to stay asleep So you can get your rest One weird way to stay awake To study for your test One more weird thing to do It's a never ending quest So to all the creeps who thought this up Try the trick below Click this weird trick to kiss my ass And I'll tell you where to go Copyright 11/17/2012 BY Dick Martin